draculasmovingcastle

[draculasmovingcastle]

[draculasmovingcastle]

my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.

it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.

it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords

[draculasmovingcastle]

I FOUMDH IT

[draculasmovingcastle]

i must remind myself of my mission lest i fall prey to the spells of kermit the frog once again.

kermit and miss piggy need to be abandoned by all, left to reflect on their poor life choices and then to rot together for all eternity. only then will the world be saved.

[draculasmovingcastle]

life was simpler when loki just wanted that stupid blue cube

#marvel

[draculasmovingcastle]

my mood for the rest of the year

#27 birth

[draculasmovingcastle]

#27 birth

[draculasmovingcastle]

#well yes #27 birth

[draculasmovingcastle]

#27 birth

[draculasmovingcastle]

butch fucking killed me at my own birthday party

#27 birth

[draculasmovingcastle]

I love baseball

[draculasmovingcastle]

#happy birthday to me! 27!

[draculasmovingcastle]

It’s the last day in April, so tomorrow...

[draculasmovingcastle]

Why should Caesar 🫅 get to stomp 👣 around like a GIANT 🗿 while the rest of us 👫 are trying not to get smushed by his BIG FEET 🦶!? What's so great 🔝 about Caesar 🫅, huh? Brutus 💁 is just as cute ✨ as Caesar 🫅, Brutus 💁 is just as smart 🧠 as Caesar 🫅, people 👫 totally like 👍 Brutus 💁 just as much as they like Caesar 🫅 and when did it become okay for one person 🧍‍♂️to be the boss 👑 of everybody 👫, huh?! Because that's not ❌❌ what Rome is about we should totally JUST STAB 🗡️🗡️!! CAESAR 🫅🫅!!

#ides of march

[draculasmovingcastle]

How you feeling on this completely normal day (15th of March)?

gutted.

#ides of march

[draculasmovingcastle]

happy ides of march to those who celebrate

#ides of march

[draculasmovingcastle]

#ides of march