efilkcuf-blog1

[efilkcuf-blog1]

There is no hope. No meaningful lasting happiness. My life is shit and I just want to fucking die...

[efilkcuf-blog1]

I think maybe the reason I want to continue living and can't end it, is because I love to think back on great times and memories. I usually don't notice the beauty of a moment until way later and that gives me a lot to reflect on. However thinking back to good times or certain memories makes me sad after a while.. It's a tragic way to live

[efilkcuf-blog1]

I wish i could get rid of what's preventing me from killing myself. It would be easier to end it all, than to live in this torment. I wish I wasn't such a pussy and could just go through with it.. I wish that my best friend hadnt unintentionally stopped me before. You may have physically saved a life, but ultimately condemned it to hell and torment at the same time..

[efilkcuf-blog1]

Just another quick thought written down.

I am an ambivert. I long to be around people, by nature and experience things and go on adventures. However, whatever is wrong with me tells me to cut everyone out of my life. And slowly I'm doing that. The introvert is slowly winning the war. Not to only be alone, but to protect myself from others and those I care about from myself. But the extrovert in me fights back sometimes.. but it just lost this last battle.. I guess I'll be alone for a while.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

I think you would be better off, to cut me out of your life. I will never forget you, and often think of what I believe could've been a great thing. But for you, I shouldn't exist. I am nothing good in your life and you deserve someone to actually make you happy.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

What's the fucking point. Nothing means anything. You make choices and no matter the outcome, it's still a life of anguish. It would be easier, more humane, and frankly better to everyone else to be dead. Life is worthless, but I'm addicted. The best sensation I have to feel other than this, is pain. Bleeding makes me feel like nothing else can. A temporary euphoria.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

Choices

..It's too easy to make all of the pain go away.. it makes me question if it's worth the out.. suffering pain or the eternal unknown... What's the lesser of the two ?

[efilkcuf-blog1]

Nobody truly cares, we are all just alone.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

The flame of hope.

Even the slowest, brightest burning candle eventually succumbs to the inevitable last flicker of light before extinguishing for eternity, leaving you to wander aimlessly until you perish in total darkness alone.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

Everyone says you need to live your life for yourself, that you can’t live for another person. But when someone is suicidal they’re told to think of all the people that would miss them. It’s essentially being told to live for someone else.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

People always come to me with help for their problems. like I have it together at all and don't have my own. But I can't say no.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

I wish it could be different. I wish I could help you. I want the best for You. I know we would be great together, but I can't tell you or anyone else. It's also just not in the universe's plans. So I'm always here for you.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

Physically present, mentally lost, emotionally dead.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

Loneliness

Is being surrounded by people who tell you they care, but you can't believe them, so you push everyone away emotionally, and end up pushing them away physically in the process.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

We all have our own personal hell.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

The universe and some people...

Some people attribute bad days and difficult times as the Universe testing us in some way. I think it's tired of us and trying to kill us, while making us do the job.

[efilkcuf-blog1]

Cemeteries would be way more interesting if they put the cause of death on all of the headstones.