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my emo phase never went away it just aged like fine wine

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It’s almost 11 pm in the Philippines and everyone is asleep, but I’m wide awake because I have a little anxiety, so Im just going to fill you guys in on my vacation to keep my mind occupied. Before I left San Diego, I was being absolutely consumed by my mental illnesses and my self esteem had hit an all time low. I have only been in the Philippines for about a week but I haven’t thought of either of those things since I’ve been here. This picture was from yesterday, we drove about six hours from my mother’s hometown in which we are staying, to stay in a cozy hotel in Zambales, just steps away from the beach. We took a small boat to a more quaint and secluded island about ten minutes away, and it was one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had. I have never seen water so clear, and the water felt so warm, I could lay in it forever. The shore was surrounded by a deep green forest and giant black rocks. There are always mountains in the near horizon, and sometimes there are volcanoes too. The locals I have encountered and spoken with, with my very broken Tagalog, have been the kindest souls I have ever met, and although this is my first time being in a third world country and seeing what true poverty is, I can see the people of this island have achieved a level of happiness people back home in the states will never experience. I have been humbled and realize I could have so much more to worry about. Laying in the clear blue water and looking up at the clouds grazing the mountains, I was reminded of one of my favorite lines from one of my most favorite films, Y Tu Mama Tambien, “Life is like the surf, so give yourself away like the sea.”

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i just think it’s best

‘cause you can’t miss what you forget 

#never meant #american football

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Magic happened on my front lawn a couple weeks ago. Life is beautiful!

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:~)

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i’ve taken some time off of all social media and its been so refreshing!! just coming here to let you guys know that I’m okay and that I’m really excited because I’m going to the Philippines for the first time, and Ill be there for 25 days. Ill come back to social media after my vacation to update all my pals on everything 

I used social media because it made me feel happy and I found so much inspiration on it, and it was good for my creative senses!! It was also a nice way to keep up with my friends lives, but before I left, all I was doing was comparing myself to every single person alive and i found that some very toxic habits were forming and it wasn't good for my already poor mental health

hopefully I’ll come back happier 

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I said things to you that I have never said I know I probably shouldn’t have And I have never been so scared

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Letter from a Yellow Cherry Blossom (Naomi Kawase, 2002)

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My boyfriend and I were downtown and he saw fresh sunflowers, which is his best friend’s favorite flower, and he not only bought one for him but had me drive him to his best friends house so he could surprise him with it and I just think this is the type of male friendship that should be normalized

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me, with tears in my eyes: time to make a joke

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Totally F***ed Up, Gregg Araki

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You’re cute, I like you.

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snapshots from Harmony Korine’s Gummo, scanned from Purple issue 16

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