girlwithfish

[girlwithfish]

[girlwithfish]

[girlwithfish]

This wouldn't happen to me if i were a huge dragon

[girlwithfish]

I don't like how accurate my spread seems or maybe im just making it accurate to my situation and finding meaning in it well that is the point of tarot but it seems too close to my life. like ok

#i like the last card a lot #and reverse chariot was scary bc its calling me outl olol #And then idk what to think abt the 2 of cups. also feels scarily accurate bc its all abt like #new relationships and rightness and compatability and passion and union and connection #nd its associated w new connections and partnerships usually . #Whatever

[girlwithfish]

whyd this spread kind of eat me up idk 😀okkk. I still struggle w finding a concise interpretation that seems satisfying and accurate? I guess so I usually just take notes in the journal I'm using for my readings and research the cards nd what diff sources say lolol

I got the chariot reversed (inaction-imbalance-internal turmoil-difficulty making decisions-lack of control or willpower-feeling at the mercy of opposing forces) then 2 of cups which is a really positive card (the beauty & power that is created when two people come together-unity-attraction-harmony-connection-compatability-peace-passion-can be 2 ppl or groups ideas as well but two entities coming together). and then I got 6 of cups (simple goodness-embracing childhood & the feelings associated w/ youth-security-being loved-experiencing good will-being well intentioned-sharing what you have-simple contentment-clear conscience-indulging in play, being taken care of-creativity-compassion-support or protection-being in a period where comfort is crucial to you rn)

I did a quick insight spread where card 1 tells you the essential energy of a situation(the central matter), card 2 is a factor impacting the central matter, card 3 is guidance & perspective on the first two cards. my question was something like "what do I need to know about my situation w my ex in order to be at peace/move forward peacefully" .

#ok #the chariot reversed kind of scared me bc i dont like all the things associsted w it. also apparently the chariot is linked to cancer ♋️ #And the cups r associated w water signs. ok #idk the second card being abt union and new connection was kind of like ummm ok. and then #i do like the third card a lot. it feels very comforting and true

[girlwithfish]

got a card I don't like in my spread god..... the chariot reversed

#indecision lack of willpower inner turnoil inner resistance imbalance OKAYYYYY

[girlwithfish]

#aww

[girlwithfish]

yay

[girlwithfish]

coping healthily

[girlwithfish]

ashamed of my screen time but it's OK. I got most of the stuff done on my little to do list even tho the things on it weren't that crazy or productive but I still got them done. so who gaf I'll be proud of that

[girlwithfish]

Everything is fine

[girlwithfish]

I love triggering myself thru voice recordings from 2023 that I didn't even know were on my phone

#it hurtsnsooo bad hahahahaa #So i found a bunch of ones from november when my relationship fell apart sone are like 20min long and #i knew there was the hour long one the night i left #sometimes my ex wld recodd or sometimes i wld and then itd just be glimpses of fighting or a full on recording of us arguing #and really long bc no one turned it off #i stipidly listened to this 24min long one that i forgot abt #Bc i remember the hr long one (theres like 40min of silence or just background noises bc my ex took my phone and thats when the police came #and #Yeah but iforgot abt thus one it was so painful and wejrd to listen to i shoukdnt have listened to it #It was self harm to listen to lolol. listening to myself screaming when my ex wld grab me and wldnt let go #and when id harm myself #like jesus :/ idk #And then i heard these recordings from when i worked at the daycare sometimes idnrecord myself talkign to the kids or background noises to #send to my ex idk #it made me feel really sad. i heard one of me just talking while i changed a diaper of a babg who cldnt talk and then just hearing the #background noises of the work place #And then i heard this one recording from like august where mt ex and i ar ehappy and yeah that made me cry lol haha #It hurts so bad when theres this weird disconnect and like extreme where the prsn u loved treats u horribly but #there was still happiness and love sometimes but the bad stuff was too bad so it cancels out whatever good there is. i guess #Idk?? #Lol #its just weird. my old life full of sm pain but i miss it at times too i guess

[girlwithfish]

oh

[girlwithfish]

😐😐😐😐

[girlwithfish]

voice gets pitchy at end I got tired sorryyyyy

Lyrics: Bouncing on the bed, you choked

Something else you said it woke me up

She stopped

to talk

I looked for you.

Purple in your arm looks good

Maybe I'll kiss the ceiling, I think of you.

It takes a plan from hell to do this well.

Stay here with me

It's what you need

To be

#diary #hmmmm

[girlwithfish]

I jinxed it or smth cuz my lower back kindof hurts today no🥹

#man #its not too bad but 3/5 discomfort. ughhh

[girlwithfish]

if he knew how much I think abt him I'd be so embarrassed lollll. idk actually if he knows I'm pretty into him idk his perception of me. I do act more chill than I feel. Idk lmaooo