grungost

[grungost]

Hiiiiiiiii :3 (again)

Haha, I would *never* stop posting for almost three quarters of a year... Anyway, Senior years almost over, whatever, more importantly Dragon's Dogma 2 was released and is absolutely incredible. Once again breaking out the superlatives: one of my favorite overall games. Ok, I don't think I even want to go into that, so what am I writing about here? This is basically public journaling, or would be if anyone really read these. I'm not complaining, though, it's pretty much fine. I started watching House MD, another absolute banger show, scratches a similar itch to SVU, but instead of being about cops its about doctors and occasionally disparages cops (edit: obviously a positive, just to make that clear). I read Roadside Picnic, the book that Stalker is originally based on, that was super good. I don't read as much as I used to when I was in grade school or whatever. I started reading Gardens of the Moon, first book in the Malazan Book of the Fallen series; haven't gotten far, but its cool. Uhhh, I don't think there's much else really. Still like magic; I didn't even read everything I wrote in my last post, but I saw it was about some magic stuff and I still think that stuff's neat. Oh, there have been a bunch of really good original songs from some of the Hololive JP members (I don't think I ever mentioned that particular interest of mine, I'm pretty into both JP and EN vtubers), Suisei's "Bibidiba," Kobo's "Help," and Marine's song that I don't remember the name of. Whatever the latest one was. All of them bangers.

I don't think I ever mentioned that I got really into Fear and Hunger in the past year. Oh wait, that happened after my last post! Man, that was back in October and my last post was in August. Anyway, Fear and Hunger; what a difference between when I first found out about it. When I first played it, it had such an oppressive atmosphere, genuinely upsetting at times, if only on account of the fact I'd never played a game so visceral, bodily, and sexual; pretty unique experience. Once you get into the swing of things though its just a bunch of fun. Oh, it was incredible though, making it to Mahabre for the first time; I was sick for a significant portion of the summer, had a hacking cough and a persistent headache or something (wasn't Covid, thankfully), and when I first went there, the music, the bizarre underground sunlight, the feeling of digging into the secret and divine realm that undergirded everything I'd been through to that point, all of it was heightened by my dizziness. It was pretty worrying at the time when I was so tired and had a coughing fit long enough that I passed out for a minute or so, but in retrospect it totally enhanced the experience and I can't help but appreciate how the experience as a whole positively affected my perception of the game. I won't talk as much about F&H 2, it wasn't as good. I appreciated that it was going for something else, but I much prefer the straight up fantasy setting of the first one. don't get me wrong, still a great game, just not my favorite.

I think that about wraps it up. I'm not gonna promise consistency again, but maybe I'll keep my page up in a tab and it'll remind me to write sometimes. Maybe if I had a topic... Maybe I could write about Fox Junction, a PS1 JP-only roguelike that isn't especially fun but has such an incredible atmosphere I can't help but love it. Maybe I could write about Tunic, my favorite game of all time (I still don't remember, but there's a good chance I already did in my previous post on account of how similar the subject matter is re: synchronicity and a spiritual world). Or maybe, just maybe, I could write another long, rambling post about nothing in particular. Who's to say what I'll end up writing about, there's simply no way to be certain. Alright, later!

#Blugh... #Here we are again #Classic stuff going on in the tags #The writing never ends on my page #This is such a misuse of the tag system #I'm not gonna stop #Dude #I need to replay Cry of Fear #Very excited for October #Probably gonna save it for then on account of Halloween #Ok

[grungost]

Hiiiiiiiiiii :3

I'm sitting here enjoying a delicious Angry Orchard Crisp Apple Cider, and I decided I should stick to what I said last time and post more often. So here's a new post! Since the last one I watched Oppenheimer at the theater, but I don't think it was an IMAX showing or anything. I thought it was perfectly paced (the 3 hour runtime didn't feel like it dragged at all), I thought the non-chronological structure flowed very well, and the soundtrack was very nice. The performances were all very good, especially Cillian Murphy, and the only criticism that really comes to my mind is some sort of clumsy writing (can't remember a whole lot of specific examples, but I remember some times where I rolled my eyes). Anyway, incredible movie, easy recommendation for anyone who likes dramatic movies with some political commentary. So, as I mentioned in my last subpost, I might talk a little bit about synchromysticism, but I'm going to assume, since I'm not totally "in the zone" as far as my writing right now, my analysis may end up a little anemic, and so I may talk a little bit more in my next post if I feel like elaborating on some stuff. Now: while my feelings on belief and spirituality are pretty strongly positive, I don't have many spiritual beliefs myself, or at least not many I feel confident enough about to say I'm assured of my belief. I would say I believe more in synchromysticism than most other spiritual ideas, at least as I see it. It's sort of like fate, but not entirely? It's the general idea that coincidence, mundane happenings, have spiritual significance. I tend to think of it more as "mundane happenings can have spiritual causes". It's a pretty broad idea, you *could* interpret it as fate, karma, or a sort of literary bent to the universe, or you could take it to mean something more actively magical, the idea that will and belief are able to change the physical world. I often end up thinking about what Peter J. Carrol, one of the founders of the Chaos Magic tradition, said about synchromysticism, that "... an event in the material world... can always be excused as a coincidence, but most magicians would be quite content with being able to arrange coincidences." While I can't remember if this is from Mage the Awakening from the Chronicles of Darkness series of Tabletop RPGs, or if its from Mage the Ascension of the World

of Darkness series, I tend to borrow the terminology of "vulgarity"; something like creating fire or an object from nothing is vulgar magic that cannot be explained otherwise, while synchromystical magic is non-vulgar, the usage of spiritual means to interrupt the natural flow of events to effect a desired result. The hypothetical synchromystical spell does not appear incredible or even impossible, it appears as if nothing has happened besides one's desires. I consider myself especially lucky in most circumstances, but I have at times characterized it as a strength of will sufficient to synchromystically influence events to my favor. It's a little ridiculous, but I don't mind it I guess; I think believing in ridiculous things just makes things more fun :3 Anyway, I'm running out of steam here. I may talk more about this stuff, but also maybe not, I couldn't say. I'll probably be much more brief, that's for sure. See you around!

#i feel like i wrote too much and said too little #my philosophy professor from a few semesters ago always said my writing ran a little purple #but honestly when im writing for fun i kinda own it #for better and for worse #more than anything i want any readers to take away from this: go watch Oppenheimer #that movie was so good its insane #i dont have the words to do good film criticism i just know it was one of the best movies ive seen this year #i would also count asteroid city in that list #ill hide this down in the subpost but i thought the barbie movie was just ok #very funny at times totally charming but ultimately not my favorite #anyway im done #bye :333

[grungost]

Man, I should be bit more consistent, huh. Whatever, though, I guess?

It's been quite a while, huh?! I've thought about posting something here in the last half a year, but I guess I wasn't really feeling it. Finished up my junior year of university, but that still leaves Senior year, which is very daunting to say the least. Summer has been all about catching up on TV shows I've meant to watch. In all this time, I managed to watch all of Monk, Psych, and Frasier. I think I was done with it since I last wrote a post, but I have also watched all of Law and Order: SVU, and that show is great. The first half of the show, which is all before Christopher Meloni left the show, represents a level of perfection to the medium that I have seen nowhere else. There are shows like The Sopranos and Breaking Bad that utilize the medium of a television show to tell a longform story, and both were wildly successful in that, but there's an evident impurity in prestige television, an attempt to combine television and film. This is not in anyway a detriment to the shows, I enjoy both of them immensely, but it puts these sorts of shows in a completely different category from regular TV. Even here I feel the need to call it prestige television rather than TV, it should be treated with a little more respect I guess? To put it simply, prestige television requires active viewing and, like, thought? Regular old TV can be given attention or left in the background, and at its best is totally enjoyable in both cases. SVU is that, absolutely engaging if you want to sit and just watch, but also perfect background noise if you're doing something else. Look at this, new paragraph?! Unheard of! Anyway, I guess its worthwhile to talk about Tears of the Kingdom, which I also played since my last post, and was maybe among my favorite games in general? I don't usually think in those terms, of favorites and bests, but it was pretty strong in many respects. I've also been playing Final Fantasy XVI, which is not among my favorite games, but is a very enjoyable action game. I also went a little insane around the middle of May after a video on the now somewhat well known Doom mod myhouse.wad was released by Powerpak (https://youtu.be/5wAo54DHDY0), which so entirely enthralled me I ended up watching it at least 7 or 8 times within a month or so's time. More importantly, it introduced me to, and encouraged me to begin reading, House of Leaves, which is a truly incredible exploration of the connection between narrative and medium. I desperately want to continue reading it, but its so difficult to find myself in the mood to read it. I guess the only other thing of note is that SGDQ this year was very good and it felt sort of touching. I think I always kind of forget how affecting GDQ can be. There's something very nice in the idea of a legitimate, public event revolving around video games and speedrunning. I dunno, there's this sense of community surrounding GDQ that I do not often feel regarding my interest in video games and others with similar interests. Speaking frankly, its mostly embarrassing to talk about video games as a major interest; I feel some insecurity in taking so much interest in a medium so often used for pure entertainment. GDQ and speedrunning in general give video games a greater air of importance, or something like that. Alright, I can't keep doing this; like, seriously? This is too much text. The subpost will hopefully be shorter, but its as out of my control as it is out of yours, hypothetical reader. Anyway, I hope I can continue to blog, and more frequently. Perfect pressure valve, just pure tension exiting the body through walls of text. I was gonna say "signing off" or some other out of place conclusion, but it felt a little too noncopasetic with something entirely textual. So, like, bye!

#holy shit i already used signing off in one of my previous subposts #this is either a sign of massive hypocrisy or maturation #and its not a sign of maturation #anyway i really kinda got everything out in the actual post #we're pretty much good here #next time i could talk about magic stuff #i kinda hope i look back at this subpost #i could talk about syncronicity/synchromysticism #i recently watched a japanese movie called symbol that gave me a chance to think about the concept again #here's the deal #anyone seeing this post must think deeply these words #grungost you must read the last subpost #hopefully this will psychically influence me to do so and i'll be able to make a more focused post about that #alright real end #byeeeee :3 #any comment with this post must use :3 #real heads will know this deep in their soul

[grungost]

Feeling Free Again (Like the song off of Crystal Logic by Manilla Road, y’know?)

Preliminary notes: check out that album if you like a little metal with some fantasy flavor to it. Anyway, finally finished out that semester, chilling now on this beautiful holiday season. I say that, but there hasn’t been any snow in my area. As of late snow isn’t a consistent phenomena. The forecast says snow on Friday, so I hope that’s accurate. Man, I’m feeling all over the place though; I’m tired and lazy and a little upset in general, but whatever, I have a month to recuperate for now. How about I talk a bit about luck? Isn’t that something interesting? Like, what’s the deal with that stuff? I think I have a lot of luck, but I don’t know if I could really explain it. I catch a lot of really fortunate breaks and stuff, and not really with any obvious causal link to mental or physical skills; thinking of it another way though, maybe luck is, like, a meta-mental skill? I don’t believe in this particular conception, or at least not as the sole manifestation of luck, but part of it is just a mindset, a lens through which you see everything good that happens as part of a chain of good things that come to you regularly. I think luck in reality is something sort of mystical, like there’s a real factor in situations that determines whether chance-based events will occur favorably for you, and that can be affected in some way; the “luck mindset” is a bonus on top of that. I might actually use the “luck” tag on this post, usually this is just an online diary or something, but I guess I kind of want to know what other people think about the pseudo-mystical and stuff, and luck is my “in” with that whole topic. Before I close out this post, I want to say that just today I’ve been playing the game Dreamwild; really awesome music and fun movement-based gameplay. It’s an indie game on Steam, and it’s less than $10, well worth the price.

#luck #dreamwild #i dont have much to say in the subpost #i guess in addendum you can talk about magic stuff in the comments #im really wishy washy on magic #but i think it would be cool if it was real #yknow something beyond what we see #i forgot the manilla road hashtag ill put it at the end here #manilla road #i dont think anyone interested in manilla road would want to see this #but its accurate #alright signing off

[grungost]

Back in Business... College Business

I’m back in University; it’s kinda lame, but what’s new. As I’m writing here I’m also putting off doing a major end-of-semester project for my Computer Algorithms class, which would not be such a big deal, but I’m kinda fumbling everything right now, I really have to make up for some screw ups, but really I think it’ll turn out alright. Anyway, re: Previous Post, my VR controller works fine, so that’s a plus, and the end of the semester draws near, which is a comforting thought (it would be more comforting if there wasn’t so much to do). I don’t think I need to wax lyrical about anything right now, I just felt like putting off the inevitable. Anyway, back I go to the Computer Mines, working up a storm over here...... very lame...

#i dont really have anything to sub-post about #i guess ive been playing age of wonders recently #4x game about fantasy stuff #more fun than i ever thought a 4x game could be #but nothing to really say right now #alright leaving for real this time #work to be done and all

[grungost]

Happy Thanksgiving To Those Who Celebrate

Today was Turkey Day! I hope all readers out there had a good one! I’m home from university right now, which is nice; earlier, when the Half-Life 2 VR mod came out on Steam, I broke the plastic casing on one of my VR controllers and my finger hurt for a while (there’s still bruising under my nail there, but its getting better), and now that I’m in a more spacious environment I’m gonna take a look and see if my controller still works. Anyway, besides all that, very exciting to be entering the holiday season. Where I’m at there’s already been some snow, so I’m feeling a little bit of that magic around now. If you want to, say a “Happy Thanksgiving” in the comments for anyone else. You could say what you’re thankful for as well, if you want, but I can never think of anything besides family and friends, and because I’m not a wordsmith I don’t say it out loud; its too obvious, or something. Anyway, as above, Happy Thanksgiving!

#i didnt want to say it in my main post but i had a nice turkey day #i dont want to seem like im making a big deal out of how nice it was #so ill say it down here for the real heads #i dont know if i want my blog to have 'real heads' #maybe i just dont want my blog to have 'fake heads' #anyway the turkey was good and so was everything else #happy thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[grungost]

Music?

I got done with my previous post and realized I could talk about my musical taste. I’ve been getting into breakcore and similar electronica stuff for a while now, and a personal favorite is an artist called Nanoray, who I don’t think is super well known, but they’ve put out some of my favorite stuff. Some of their albums, whether intentional or not, feel like they tell a really vague story that you can sort of shape in your head as you listen, but I think some of that also comes from their album descriptions, which are usually a single sentence. I really recommend anyone who sees this that they check out Nanoray, especially their album Ceto.

#nanoray #i figure i should at least use a regular tag when im talking about an artist online #i had some real trouble trying to find a good way to word that last sentence #i try not to use words like content or content creator anymore #my brother pointed out to me that its pretty generalizing and degrading of real artists to reduce their work into 'content' #i pretty much agree but the terms are so pervasive online #makes it difficult to avoid even thinking in those terms #anyway you should check out nanoray on bandcamp or spotify (i think?)

[grungost]

I figured I could post the full version of my icon on here, which I drew a few months back. I don’t remember my exact impulse behind drawing Blaidd from Elden Ring like this besides liking him and the reference picture from the Baki anime being very funny. There are some problems with it, I don’t draw enough to have a perfect grasp on hands and stuff, and it’s not like I did a super in-depth study of Blaidd’s design, but whatever. It was also weird trying to draw Blaidd’s cloak, cause it looks like his fur is coming out of it at parts, and that’s the kind of effect I tried to put in there; all that aside though, I think it turned out well, cause it looks funny, and that’s all it needed really.

#ive been playing the new cod recently very fun #i didnt used to play shooters until my brother had me play csgo with him and his friends #rough game but rewarding sometimes #ultimately i preferred valorant once that came out #more magic means more fun #also more forgiving mechanics makes for a better experience for me

[grungost]

Lorem Ipsum Dolor something something

Maybe if Twitter dies I might actually use this like a blog? I could just talk. I could just talk words. Who cares? It wouldn’t even matter, I could just write down my thoughts and nobody could stop me. Total freedom (to post). Hey, if anyone sees this, how much of Lorem Ipsum can you remember off the top of your head? Also, any magicians, let me know how its done; desperate to discover the undying principles of this world and how to manipulate them.

#computer wizards seriously give me the low down #i gotta know whats up #i need to up my posting game too #see im making a whole subpost in the tags here #i see some people do this kind of thing #actually using this kind of format could help to format real posts #like spacing things out #but maybe it would also help to not put so much in one post #whatever this is getting lame and self indulgent #kinda fun though #EOM