heliosthegriffin
I'm writing for fun
S'up.
Don't expect Canon to stop me.
I've written all my stories sober, stop asking. Jaune-centric RWBY Fanfics. Harem stories to come. Yes, I know they're terrible, but so is smoking, we all have our vices.
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Last Seen Blogs
mariana-barros
And stay young at heart
h0e-y
A
dadbots
LET’S GO ALL THE WAY TO HELL.
amateurblooms
amateurblooms
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Videogame Night
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Ruby: During the great war Atlas had thirty centimeter guns which allowed them to destroy the Vacuo bunkers along the Mideel line. It was a group of forts Vacuo set up to stop Atlesian aggression. But after world war zero or the Valean Vacuo war which had Calvary charges and a heavy focus on artillery and the box formation they just weren't ready for the size of Atlas's guns which blew them out of the water. The great war revealed that fortified positions were weak to such guns. This led to trench warfare and-
Jaune: *listening to his girlfriend info dump and is honestly having a great time*
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cute things to call your significant other, I&D style (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
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Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”
And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”
“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”
Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.
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Ruby: R-Really?! You want to hang out with me?! Usually people only go after my sister!
Ruby: Oh~? You wanna do whatever I wanna do~? Hm~...
Ruby: In that case, you wanna get... SWEATY with me~?
Ruby: Alright, then~. Follow me~.
Ruby: (Deadlift squats many plates) LIGHTWEIGHT, BABY! FUCK YEAH~! WHOOO! LET'S! FUCKING! GOOOOOOOO~!
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Is a Nas-Cart
At a Gas station
Jaune: $6 on pump two, please.
Cashier: *Looks outside and then back to Jaune* Sir, that's a shopping cart.
Jaune: I don't see what the make and model of my vehicle has anything to do with the $6 of cold hard cash I just laid on the counter.
Cashier: My apologies sir. Go nuts.
Jaune gets out and begins to soak the shopping cart with gasoline.
????: *Angry* There you are, you piece of shit!
Jaune: *Looks behind him*
????: I've been looking for you!
Jaune: Who, me?
He says while continuing to douse the shopping cart with gasoline.
Kmart Manager: No, the other dumb fuck pouring gasoline into a shopping cart. I'm the general manager at the Kmart down the street. We've been looking for the bastard who keeps taking carts, and dousing them in gasoline before returning them on the fucking cart corral!!
Jaune: Sir, this ain't no ordinary shopping cart. This is a Nas-Cart.
Kmart Manager: I'm going to beat you to death you little-
*Car noises* Jaune climbs into the shopping cart and drives to the horizon.
Kmart Manager: My mistake, you have a good rest of your evening.
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Jaune: Mm... I think I outdid myself this time.
Ruby: Hey, Ja- (Gasps) Are those cookies?!
Jaune: Yup! Old family recipe~. Want one?
Ruby: Heck yeah! (Bites one) BLECH! What the hell is this?! This isn't chocolate chip!
Jaune: Nope! It's oatmeal raisin.
Jaune: IT'S BETTER THAN CHOCOLATE CHIP.
Ruby: ...
Ruby: (Inhale)
Ruby: (Violently leaps at Jaune)
THUS BEGAN THE ROSE-ARC BLOOD FEUD
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Jaune strolled down the hallway when a shadowy mass crashed into him, holding him against the wall.
"Ow." His eyes widened looking down the iron-sights of a pistol from the barrel-side backwards into a pair of golden eyes. Blake stood there, vibrating in place, arm trembling as she held Jaune up one-armed, though it seemed not for very much longer.
They locked eyes for a minute, then Jaune opened his mouth. "Hello, this is Jaune Arc, please put him down as you're leaving your message, have a nice day."
He quickly got a better look down those iron-sights, quickly becoming more concerned due to Blake's iron-sights being a sword. "Shut your mouth."
"Alright." Jaune quickly zipped it, as he was dealing with someone crazy enough to use a sword, tip of which was facing them, as iron-sights, she was capable of anything as far as he knew.
She looked at him, face sweating, eyes dilated, and worse of all, she was smiling. "Know what you did it."
Jaune looked down at her, easy since she was lifting him against the wall and him being several heads taller than her. "Which was what?"
She was trembling, mouth fighting to not form a smile, eyes wide and bright. "Look at you, walking around not a care in the world, that junk in the trunk should be making you ride so low that you spark up the road behind you, yet you got something under the hood that's keeping you level," She licks her lips. "And, well you know what they say about curiosity and that cat."
Up against the wall, barrel against his cheek, Jaune stares down at the mad woman. "Blake, I don't own a car."
"Oh, don't I know it, yet you got a whole cake truck, don't you. Makes me wonder what you're doing with all that beef & sausage, you trying to look like a fully meal?"
"I haven't even had breakfast yet."
"Doesn't stop you from looking like you'd filling me up."
Jaune squirms a bit, noticing that Blake's arm was on the verge of letting go, she flinches back, letting go, withdrawing the weapon as well. "I"m going now," He looks at her, slowly backing away. "Just stay there, and do not pursue."
Blake stiffens up. "You can walk away from me, Jaune, but you can't walk away from the truth! Deny it all you want, you look like a full course meal, and I'm starving!" She lurches forward, hands reaching for him.
Jaune pulls out a can of tuna, tears the lid off with his raw strength, and hands it to her. "Here, now you can leave me in peace."
Blake stares at him, alternating between him and the tuna, then sighs, taking the tuna. "This dense-ass soon to be mother-fucker," She grabs the tuna. "If I wasn't actually hungry, damn." When she looks up, Jaune was already turning the corner. "Hate to see him go, love to watch him leave... Did I have something to warn him about?"
Jaune just as he was rounding the corner, was pressed against the wall, again, and he looked down at Yang, which wasn't hard as she was leaning holding him at a lower angle. Strangely though, she was wearing a police uniform. "You got a license for all that cake, sir?"
"Actually, I do," He holds out to her a permit, showing that he was in fact, Kingdom certified baker. Yang took it, stared at it, then tore it apart.
"Not anymore."
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Well, that's interesting.
We should have a chat about how Jaune's concept art looks very reminiscent to a certain farmboy.
Cuz it looks like there was more than one Little Prince contender
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A stance adjustment
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So RWBY might have a lifeline and if v10 happens and the Summer maiden isn't May who had her death faked then GG. Dropped :^)
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