#rwby shitpost

[brokentrafficknight]

It is Pyrrha's Birthday. When Jaune asks her what she wants and he says anything, what does she ask for?

All her friends are there too!

#rwby #rwby shitpost #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #arkos #ruby rose #yang xiao long #nora valkyrie #lie ren #blake belladonna #team jnpr #happy birthday pyrrha #velvet scarlatina

[lord-of-rain]

Garnet: Daaaaad, why can't I date, Pyrrah Valkyrie?

Jaune: Okay, this is you. *places a pretzle on the table*

Garnet: O-okay?

Jaune: And this is Pyrrah. *smashes the prezle repeatedly with a hammer*

Garnet:

Garnet: That's actually kinda hot.

Jaune: NOOOOOOOO!

#Rwby lancaster #rwby lancaster #jaune arc #rwby #lancaster rwby #lancaster #rwby shitpost #jaune x ruby #ruby x jaune #rwbabies #nora valkyrie #renora

[notmaplemable]

Jaune: *Dressed up like the rusted knight at a fair*

Lawyer: We need you to shut this whole thing down.

Jaune: Why?

Lawyer: The use of any of The Girl Who Fell Through the World's characters is a violation of the Generic Publishing Company's copyright.

Jaune: ...It's to help raise money to rebuild Mantle.

Lawyer: And we'll take you for all the Lien we can if you don't cease your activities.

Jaune: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!?

#rwby #rwby shitpost #jaune arc

[epic-arc]

White Knight EndGame be like:

Weiss would be lying on the bed blushing with bite marks on her body and with messy hair looking towards Jaune with a smile on her face and an expression of pleasure.

Weiss: Last night you were... Unhinged, You were like some desperate, Howling demon! You frightened me...

Jaune would be listening to that with a flushed face as he held two plates of breakfast for both of them, She would look at him now with a mischievous expression on her face.

Weiss: Do it again tonight~

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jaune and Nicholas were fishing until Nicholas would catch a huge fish and Jaune would pull out the camera and he would have a big smile on his face.

Jaune: Alright now, Let's see. Look at the camera and say ''I got that fish!''

Nicholas: I got that muther fucking fish!!

Jaune laughed at what his son was saying but another thought came to his mind ''I'm going to kill Yang for teaching him to say that''

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weiss and Ruby would be together drinking coffee until a thought came into Ruby's head and then she would turn to Weiss and ask.

Ruby: Hey what do you do when jaune comes back from a stressful day at work?

Weiss: Oh that's almost no problem I discovered the perfect way to calm and relax him

Ruby: So, what you do?

The scene would cut to Jaune lying in bed with a smile on his face and around him there would be several plush sea animals.

Jaune: That's life~

#rwby #jaune arc #weiss schnee #white knight #rwby shitpost #rwby whiteknight #yang xiao long #ruby rose

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

*In the Final Battle*

Salem: IMMEDIATE TESTICULAR TORSION!

Yang: *Falls to the ground, clutching her groin* GAAAHH! FUCKFUCKFUCK

Jaune: ...

Jaune: You know, I'm pretty comfortable in my body, but for once I'm happy I'm not cis-

Salem: Instantaneous Period!

Jaune: *Also falls, Clutching his stomach* GODS MOTHERFUCKING DAMMIT-

#rwby #jaune arc #yang xiao long #rwby shitpost #rwby salem #salem rwby #trans!jaune #trans!yang

[drenosa]

One rare lazy day in Vacuo

Yang: *Bored out of her skull, reading a "Teen" magazine*

Weiss: *Enjoying her simple healthy breakfast salad*

Ruby: *Enjoying her not-so-healthy breakfast cereal*

Blake: *Catching up on her "literature"*

Yang: *Perks up on reading a topic* "Just how gay are you and your partner? Take this simple test and find out!"

Weiss: Please no, I just want to finish breakfast.

Yang: *Ignoring her, turning to Blake* Wanna take this test with me, Blakey?

Blake: *Closing her book, raising a skeptical eyebrow* You do know we have no need for such a test, right?

Yang: We don't?

Blake: We don't. And I can prove it. *Puts away her book and stands up* Stand up.

Yang: *Already standing, curious* Okay...

Blake: *Walks over, standing close to Yang, their height difference evident as she looks up at the blonde* Now, on your knees.

Yang: *Wide-eyed in shock* Uhm, wha-what?!

Blake: *Touches Yang's jawline* On. Your. Knees.

Yang: *Knees buckle, thudding on the floor* Okay...

Blake: *Now looking down at the blonde, eyes bright in delight and with a wicked grin* And that, my dear girl, that is how gay you are. Understood?

Yang: *In need of clean underwear* Yes, ma'am.

~~~~~~~~~~

Weiss: *In despair as she holds her hands in her head* I just want one, ONE, simple morning without my breakfast being ruined.

Ruby: *Still shoveling her cereal* Meh, I'm over it.

Weiss: Ugh... I should go join JNPER (Jaune, Nora, Oscar, Emerald, Ren). Surely they're... normal compared to whatever these two are doing all day.

Ruby: Probably best if you didn't.

Weiss: Pray tell, why?

Ruby: Oscar, and by extension Ozpin, is mostly busy with Theodore and other high-ranking huntsfolk for whatever business is most pressing but the rest... *Slightly cringes as she weighs whether or not she should tell*

Weiss: Ruby. Tell. Me!

Ruby: *Sighs, shrugs and spills the proverbial beans* They're probably banging right about now.

Weiss: ...

Ruby: Yeah... after our return from the Ever After there was this whole thing where Ren and Nora wanted- Needed more like- to reconnect and reconcile with Jaune. Emerald was just desperate looking for a place to belong. Anyway, long story short, they're likely banging right now.

Weiss: *Thudding her head on the table* My fucking friend group is a Gods damned mess!

Ruby: I'm still traumatized from walking in on them, but you don't hear me complain. Nora's way more flexible than you'd expect.

Weiss: *Whinging into the table surface* UUUUUGH...

#rwby #rwby shitpost #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #ruby rose #blake belladonna #bumbleby #jaune arc #lie ren #nora valkyrie #emerald sustrai #poly shenanigans

[madmanwonder]

Jaune and Pyrrha and Ruby were at a high-end fancy restaurant wearing the best clothes they had on them.

Pyrrha: I can’t believe that you two managed to get reservation to this place.

Jaune: Me and Rube protect the owner family from grimm and bandits during one of our mission to Vale. And he was so grateful for protecting his family from danger that he give us the V.I.P treatment for free.

Ruby: Which was nice because it mean me and Jaune can spoiled our princess to death~

Ruby and Jaune looked at Pyrrha with loving affection and Pyrrha cheeks burned red with embarrassment and happiness as she thanked the gods for giving her a second chance in life.

#my post #rwby #rwby shitpost #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #ruby rose #shipping post #shipping shitpost #happy birthday #fictional birthday #ot3 #my ot3 #rwby arkos #rwby lancaster #rwby milk and cereal #rwby gilded roses

[reashot]

Jaune Finally Snapped...

Now, Finally at what seems to be the final moments of the world. Two figures stands in stark opposition to each other's. One is an all powerful malevolence witch that goes by the name of Salem, while the others is merely a humble knight named Jaune Arc. Armed with his trusty sword and shield, Jaune must now face off against the witch for the fate of the world.

*one epic fight scene later*

Salem: Ahhh!!!!

Well done. You may have defeated me hero, but you forget that I am immortal and I can't be killed. Nya, ha, ha, ha, ha....

*lop Salem limbs's off*

Gyahhh!!!!

What the fuck is the matter with you?! You already defeated me.

Jaune: I might not be able to finish you for good. But I can stop you from hurting anyone else.

Salem: Nye, he, he. But you forget hero my body can simply regenerate...

*starts to slowly regenerate*

Jaune: Which is why at the start of each day I'll cut off your limbs again.

Salem: Uhmmm....

Jaune: And I uh... I'll sharpen a pole. Stick it up inside you out through your mouth...

*starts sharpening pole*

And wear you on my back. Wriggling trophy for all to see...

Salem: What the fuck dude?!

You're a monster!

Meanwhile

Weiss: S-should we stop him?

Blake: Why? I mean we can't destroy Salem so we might as well do everything possible to stop her.

Yang: ... Is it wrong that I find this kinda hot?

Ruby: take a number Sis. I'mma gonna tap that ass first!

So Salem can't be destroyed, eh? Good to know, good to know...

I don't understand why team RWBY got so upset hearing that Salem can't be killed.

I'll just go full Yuji and see where things go from there.

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #lancaster #lancaster rwby #jaune x ruby #ruby x jaune #rwby lancaster #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #jaune x yang #yang x jaune #dragonslayer rwby #dragonslayer #rwby dragonslayer #salem rwby #yuji itadori #rwby shitpost #dungeon soup #this is canon

[cometblaster2070]

something about weiss continuously being so tired of blake and yang dancing around their feelings and refusing to ever communicate makes me laugh so hard.

she was genuinely so done with them it's so funny

like this girl was STRUGGLING; she was calling them both out on their gay bullshit and there was no one more relieved than she was when they got together.

actually, wait i think it's funnier to believe that she's initially relieved like 'oh thank god this is finally over' and then it just dawns on her that now that they've worked through their feelings and are officially together, she's just in for more gay bs.

#rwby #rwby volume 7 #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #bumbleby #rwby bumbleby #rwby shitpost #weiss schnee deserves financial recompensation #girl is TIRED #she's dealt with this for too long now #also #i do hc her as like a useless lesbian #so i think it just makes the situation funnier #that she's over here judging blake and yang wholeheartedly yk #always being like oh my god why can't they just get together already #and then there's her and ruby in the corner like #love her sm honestly

[craziechwiv]

The taste of a dusty Knight is...

In the cafeteria, Jaune Arc is sitting with his friends and S/O (of your choosing) until he blurts out this:

Jaune: I wonder what I taste like?

What does your ship for Jaune say in response or what action do they take after hearing this?

And for shits n' giggles, here's some of my ships and their response.

______________________________________________________________

Nora's Arc

Nora: I can help with that~!

Jaune: Uhm, how?

Nora proceeds to slowly raise a gallon size bottle of maple syrup as she licks her lips, staring at Jaune hungrily.

Jaune: N-Nora...?

______________________________________________________________

Lancaster

Ruby proceeds to turn Jaune's head towards her and give him one long kiss, before releasing him from her grasp.

Jaune: visibly flustered and spechless

Ruby, licking her lips: You taste good, just not as good as cookies.

Jaune: ...Wanna see if that'll change.

Ruby: Hmm, gladly.

______________________________________________________________

Arkos (plus Dragonslayer)

Pyrrha: O-Oh... I mean if you wish to know so badly, I could-

Before Pyrrha could finish her sentence, Yang swoops in and kisses Jaune heavily before pulling away and licking her lips.

Yang: Ironically, not like vomit. Maybe I'll go in for seconds~

Pyrrha however pushes Yang away and kisses a now stunned Jaune for longer, slowly pulling away as she had the same stunned look.

Yang: Wow Py, didn't know you had it in you! Pyrrha?

Pyrrha: ...so this is heaven.

Jaune: U-Uhm, so how do I taste?

Yang: Like a dream Pyrrha: Like I want to have more of you

Jaune: What was that Pyrrha?

Pyrrha: NOTHING!

______________________________________________________________

Now since those are done, write away on how your ship would react!

#rwby #rwby shitpost #jaune arc #ruby rose #nora valkyrie #pyrrha nikos #yang xiao long #arkos #nora's arc #rwby lancaster #lancaster #dragonslayer

[therealmofamorus]

Ruby: Take a good look at my spartan angel new tattoo on her ass~!

Jaune: Tada!

Jaune turned his startled girlfriend and flipped her skirt up and her underwear down to reveal her tattoo to their individual teammates.

Weiss: How shameless!

Blake: Nice~

Yang: *heartbroken* Ruby used to like Saturday morning cartoons….

Nora: *smirk* To think that we thought you were the wholesome one in our group….

Ren: I owe Nora 500 lien now thanks to you.

Pyrrha face was red in shame as she looked down at the ground as she tried to covered her new tattoo “Invincibutt” on her asscheeks while her two lovers were standing on each side of her.

Pyrrha: S-sorry!

#my post #rwby #rwby smut #rwby shitpost #team rwby #team jnpr #rwby arkos #rwby milk and cereal #rwby gilded rose #rwby lancaster #lancaster #gilded rose #milk and cereal #original male stud au #shipping #shipping post #Invincibutt #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #ruby rose #nora valkyrie #ren lie #jaune arc

[brokentrafficknight]

Weiss: 'Being flatter than a board' is NOT valid grounds for irreconcilable differences-

Jaune: Smile! *Camera flash*

#rwby #rwby shitpost #jaune arc #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #the opposite of whiteknight

[redheartedtramp]

Ruby: *lazily eating cereal*

Blake: You just look dead.

Weiss: Maybe some coffee will perk you up. *pours Ruby some coffee*

Ruby: Can't have coffee. Not allowed.

Weiss: *rolls eyes* Oh, what? Is your Daddy gonna be mad~?

Ruby: No, I mean legally. *pulls out scroll and shows legal document*

Weiss/Blake: ?!?!

Blake: This can't be real.

Weiss: *reading over the document* No, this all checks out. According to this, she's not allowed any more than 1ml of caffeinated beverages.

#rwby #rwby shitpost #ruby rose #weiss schne #blake belladonna

[notmaplemable]

Weiss: Are you sure we aren't going to get lost?

Jaune: Don't worry, I know this trail like I know Ruby's back.

RWBY: ...

Yang: What do you mean by that, Jaune?

Jaune: Umm.

Yang: ANSWER ME!

#rwby #rwby shitpost #jaune arc #yang xiao long #weiss schnee #lancaster

[heliosthegriffin]

Jaune strolled down the hallway when a shadowy mass crashed into him, holding him against the wall.

"Ow." His eyes widened looking down the iron-sights of a pistol from the barrel-side backwards into a pair of golden eyes. Blake stood there, vibrating in place, arm trembling as she held Jaune up one-armed, though it seemed not for very much longer.

They locked eyes for a minute, then Jaune opened his mouth. "Hello, this is Jaune Arc, please put him down as you're leaving your message, have a nice day."

He quickly got a better look down those iron-sights, quickly becoming more concerned due to Blake's iron-sights being a sword. "Shut your mouth."

"Alright." Jaune quickly zipped it, as he was dealing with someone crazy enough to use a sword, tip of which was facing them, as iron-sights, she was capable of anything as far as he knew.

She looked at him, face sweating, eyes dilated, and worse of all, she was smiling. "Know what you did it."

Jaune looked down at her, easy since she was lifting him against the wall and him being several heads taller than her. "Which was what?"

She was trembling, mouth fighting to not form a smile, eyes wide and bright. "Look at you, walking around not a care in the world, that junk in the trunk should be making you ride so low that you spark up the road behind you, yet you got something under the hood that's keeping you level," She licks her lips. "And, well you know what they say about curiosity and that cat."

Up against the wall, barrel against his cheek, Jaune stares down at the mad woman. "Blake, I don't own a car."

"Oh, don't I know it, yet you got a whole cake truck, don't you. Makes me wonder what you're doing with all that beef & sausage, you trying to look like a fully meal?"

"I haven't even had breakfast yet."

"Doesn't stop you from looking like you'd filling me up."

Jaune squirms a bit, noticing that Blake's arm was on the verge of letting go, she flinches back, letting go, withdrawing the weapon as well. "I"m going now," He looks at her, slowly backing away. "Just stay there, and do not pursue."

Blake stiffens up. "You can walk away from me, Jaune, but you can't walk away from the truth! Deny it all you want, you look like a full course meal, and I'm starving!" She lurches forward, hands reaching for him.

Jaune pulls out a can of tuna, tears the lid off with his raw strength, and hands it to her. "Here, now you can leave me in peace."

Blake stares at him, alternating between him and the tuna, then sighs, taking the tuna. "This dense-ass soon to be mother-fucker," She grabs the tuna. "If I wasn't actually hungry, damn." When she looks up, Jaune was already turning the corner. "Hate to see him go, love to watch him leave... Did I have something to warn him about?"

Jaune just as he was rounding the corner, was pressed against the wall, again, and he looked down at Yang, which wasn't hard as she was leaning holding him at a lower angle. Strangely though, she was wearing a police uniform. "You got a license for all that cake, sir?"

"Actually, I do," He holds out to her a permit, showing that he was in fact, Kingdom certified baker. Yang took it, stared at it, then tore it apart.

"Not anymore."

#RWBY shitpost #Jaune Arc #Blake Belladona #Yang Xiao Long

[spahhzy]

Jaune: Yellow slash! *hits Cinder*

Cinder: Okay, you learned one new move, no big deal...

Jaune: Yellow slash! *hits Cinder again*

Cinder: Ow! What the fuck is going on!?

Jaune: Yellow slash! *hits Cinder again*

Cinder: Ow! Jaune, stop!

Jaune: Yellow slash! *hits Cinder again*

Cinder: Ow! What the fuck!?

Jaune: Yellow slash! *hits Cinder again*

Cinder: This actually makes no fucking sense...

Jaune: *hits Cinder again*

Cinder: *holds hands up* Jauney, please!

-looking on-

Neo: ...

Ruby: ...

Weiss: ...

Ruby/Weiss: DIBS!

Weiss and Ruby look at each other.

Weiss: Share?

Ruby nods: Share.

Both Ruby and Weiss look to let Neo know that Jaune is theirs, but only saw an empty spot.

-on the battlefield-

A crumpled Cinder laid defeated as Jaune breathed heavily, raising Crocea Mors in victory.

Jaune: Yeah, gonna fall now...

And he was about to when he felt someone hold him up. He looked down at his savior and saw a familiar dual color hair.

Jaune: ...hey Neo..

Neo: 👋

Jaune: Thanks for catching me. uhm, you can let me down, I just need to rest a bit...

Neo: 🫡

Neo sits down on the ground and gently drags Jaune down so he can lay down, and to his surprise, Neo leads his head into her lap, Jaune wanted to protest but the feeling of Neo's hand running through his hair felt really good and the want to protest vanished as Jaune fell into a peaceful sleep just in time for Ruby and Weiss to see.

Neo: 😁😈🖕

Weiss/Ruby: You win this round...

#jaune arc #neopolitian (rwby) #rwby silent knight #ruby rose #weiss schnee #rwby lancaster #white knight #cinder fall #rwby shitpost