hkpurpleghost

[hkpurpleghost]

I was getting arranged married to Jesus Christ on the beach. I was super upset, but my family kept telling me that I didn't have a choice. I'm a Buddhist lesbian...

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so fucking evil that i don’t have the jagged pointy cartoon teeth that fit together like triangles. i deserve them

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Unpopular opinion, I don't want Reagan and Brett to ever be romantic. I really need their friendship.

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The major arcana deck is finished! Link for free access here

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this came to me in a flash and i just had to do it!! based on (mostly) personal experience lmao 💜🤍🖤💚

(and if this bothers you, please take a hard look at ur own biases & re-evaluate why.)

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i’ll miss this show 💔

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since people like the copeswap au, heres two screenshot edits i did for it for you to enjoy!

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as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

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the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.

depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.

ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.

and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.

mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.

but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other more well understood mental illness, you can be patient with us.

[hkpurpleghost]

"your trauma made you stronger!" babe the only thing that should've been making me stronger is vegetables and flintstone gummies

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As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

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If you’re someone without a personality disorder trying to defend people with personality disorders, you get told that you’ve been manipulated and brainwashed and can’t be trusted.

If you’re someone with a personality disorder trying to defend yourself, you get told that you’re manipulative and dangerous and can’t be trusted.

There really is no way for us to win.

[hkpurpleghost]

Dolly Parton has come to do a show in my town. We couldn't afford tickets, so me and my mom sold my stepdad so we could go.

It turned out that we sold him to Dolly Parton, she made him sing with her and then she gave him back.

[hkpurpleghost]

the notes on this post are hilarious. personally I imagined him as a formless blinding light

Hey guys, how did you use to picture God/Hashem/Allah back when you still believed. I was always told not to think of Him as having a physical form, but I couldn't help but imagine him as a giant, with the face and hair of Tom Petty, wearing this black robe with purple flowers my neighbor always wore on Friday nights.

I'm sure there's a logical psychological explanation for that, but I can't for the life of me imagine what it is.

Anyways, I'm curious to know your answers.

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Actually i think it's extremely regressive to become a fascist after leaving islam for some of its human rights violations (because of SOME interpretations, not all):

-If you become a Zionist, congrats! You support genocide, violence in many forms, and apartheid! Wowww!

-If you become a radfem, congrats! You're anti-women and like different forms of violence on those different from you because of their gender! Oh and you deny scientific facts too! Wow!!!

-If you become anti-theist, congrats! You can't understand that different interpretations and opinions exist in faiths and also you're against people believing in what makes them happy without harming others simply because to you those things are unreal! Woww!

-If you become islamophobic and/or muslimphobic, congrats! You're supporting and maintaining racist and islamophobic views that actively harm innocent people and also you can't understand that different interpretations exist so you're actively showing one image of islam and muslims when in reality things are different! Wow!

...Do you understand now?

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Part of deconstructing religion is realizing that there is no One True Interpretation and that the many ways people believe in, practice, and relate to a single religion are all unique and valid.

Even after leaving Islam over three years ago, I still catch myself defining “true Islam” based on what I was taught. As if the version of Islam I was raised in was an objective, all-consuming fact, rather than an ideology deeply influenced by a specific geography, era, and community. As if iteration after iteration of Islam hasn’t grown and evolved over time, at the mercy of the whims and beliefs of a wide spectrum of people.

Cultural context is so incredibly important when talking about religious practices and beliefs, and yet as someone who was raised in an incredibly restrictive environment, believing there was one and only one correct way that had been passed down and perfectly preserved for over a thousand years was the only doctrine I was given, and it has absolutely done lasting damage.

[hkpurpleghost]

hey rem, I’m just curious, no judging—what’s the reason you left your religion? I found that you’ve been struggling more since you started to lose your faith, so I just wondered what made you take that decision?

Well, since you asked so kindly

I left my religion slowly, over a long time, for a lot of reasons.

The easiest one that most people accept is that I do t like Islam’s treatment of queer people, since being queer is a huge part of my identity and people are usually ready to accept that answer.

But it is not so cut and dry

The reason is that I do not believe in the concept of an all-powerful, all-knowing, and completely passionate and caring deity that presides over the universe.

If Allah exists, then he allowed a five year old child to be groomed and abused, by a man that styles himself as an Islamic Scholar, for almost nine years. He allowed that trauma to happen and allowed that man to die before he could face any justice for his crimes.

And for what? Because it’s part of his plan? If an omniscient and omnipotent being needs an innocent child to suffer like that for his plan to come to fruition, he is either not as compassionate as he claims or not as powerful as he claims.

People will tell me that he will burn in Jahannam for eternity for his crimes, but why was the crime allowed to happen at all?

Do you know why Muslims pray five times a day? The Quran tells the story, saying that on the night of Al Isra wal Miraj, the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) ascended to Jannat (heaven) and was able to speak to Allah, who told him that every Muslim was to pray to him 50 times a day. He accepted, and as he descended through the layers of heaven, the prophet Musa (Moses, peace be upon him) told him to go back up and negotiate it lower. 50 to 45 to 40 and so on until it went to 5. That’s why there are five daily prayers.

What sort of God is so egotistical that he needs every single believer to pray to him 50 times a day to prove they love him? If he is all knowing, why start with 50 and not just command it be 5? Why do you need 5 at all? Why do you need people to constantly tell you that they love you?

I have my own religious trauma, from things taught in classes to the fucking pedophile calling himself a priest who came to my home 90 minutes a day 6 days a week for 8 and a half years, who was too religious to celebrate a birthday or let anyone else do so but apparently not enough to avoid abusing children

There are many arguments to be made about why I dislike Islam, most of them can be boiled down to something someone or the other will argue to be “misinterpretations of the text” or “a cultural thing” or “personal choice”

But in the end, at my core, I do not believe in the concept of a perfect, unerring God. The “Perfect” god of Islamic and Christian faith, insofar as I have seen, has allowed untold carnage, depraved abuse, and unspeakable violence to occur with the promise that one day, if you’re good, if you follow the rules, and pray every day, things will eventually, some day, somehow, turn out fine.

I respect Muslims. I respect Christians. I respect every single religion and every person of faith because I believe they all want to be good and do good because I think that is the nature of humanity. Who they choose to attribute that good to is none of my concern. I believe that everyone is human before they are their religion. Neither goodness nor badness can be attributed to a religion. They all have supremacists and extremists and people that will give their lives away trying to do good and make the world a better place. But if a god comes and declares that they are responsible for all of that, including the bad, and are just letting it happen for “divine purpose”? I reserve the right to question that.

And for the record, sweetheart, I am not suffering more since I’ve left my religion. I’ve been suffering the same for a very long time, and it’s only now that I’m in college, away from home, that I’m getting the space to process all of it. And sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. Right now it’s just worse than usual because the holiest month of the Islamic year is about to start, and it is always tough on me.