i--am--the--sheep

[i--am--the--sheep]

ch 5 is out, and sir chloe releases a new song in 3 days. expect chaos <3

#talking sheep <3

[i--am--the--sheep]

Cut Away The Teeth [ch 5]

read fic warnings and find other chapters here

Things remain quiet in Kazuki’s arms for a while.  At some point, the two of them slump back down onto the pillows, Rei still tucked into his partner’s grasp as the blond drifts off.  He knows Kazuki must be exhausted.  He is too, but his brain is much too loud to fall asleep.  He waits for Kazuki’s breathing to even out, waits some more, until he’s certain that he can slip from his arms without waking him.  Swallows down a grunt of pain when he moves his arm, stays silent as he creeps out of the room and down the hall.  Kazuki would kill him if he knew he was up and around, but Rei needs to clear his head.  He manages to make it downstairs, grabbing a pack of cigarettes and a cheap lighter from a high up shelf where he hides them from Miri.

He shuffles out onto the balcony, thinking.   He feels… unstable.  Unstable and strangely lucid.  He’s aware of every breath, every spike of pain, every blink.  Swears he can hear his own pulse.  It’s fucking uncomfortable.  He’s used to emotions and everything he thinks being boxed up, understood but not felt.  He’s not used to this level of consciousness or control.  His skin feels raw in the breeze, heavy and too tight on his bones, burning and freezing all at once.  God, he wants to peel it off.  His chest is constricting, and he’s desperately sucking in shallow breaths of air.  He moves his hands to grasp at his hair, and his lighter clatters to the tile of the balcony.  Oh, right.  He came out to smoke.  The sound is overwhelming, sounding far too loud, but he snatches up the lighter anyway, relishing in the familiar scratch-click-puff of it lighting.  Gets a cigarette out despite his shaking hands, lights up, and takes a deep drag in an attempt to calm down.  

It helps, but not enough.  

His thoughts shift rather quickly to a train of thought he didn’t want to acknowledge.  What if the arm wasn’t enough?  What if his father, his father’s people, came after him, his family?  Tried to get him back?  Some shadowed part of his brain tells him to rip off the bandages and dig his fingers into the wound, to tear at the muscle and sinew, to make it worse.  Wants to file down the fangs and claws his father spent years honing.  He wonders if he were to jump off the balcony, if he could fuck up his legs enough to be totally useless.  Its not that long of a drop, but if he did it right–

“Rei?”  

He startles, choking on the smoke in his throat, and wheezes out a “Jesus.”.  

“Fuck, sorry!  I tried not to scare you, but it looked like you were… thinking.”

Rei coughs, settling his lungs, before briefly looking to Kazuki standing in the doorway.  “‘S fine.  Needed a smoke.”  Kazuki jerks his head up in acknowledgement, stepping next to Rei in the cool night air.

“You alright?  You seem…” He pauses.  Stressed?  Upset?  On the verge of doing something self destructive, judging by that look in your eyes?  “Off.”

Rei glances at him again, taking another long drag of his burnt down cigarette.  “I’m fine– I’ll be fine.”  He corrects himself.  Even now, the comfortable burn of smoke in his lungs is bringing back that familiar, far away buzz that he’s used to.  The discomfort and hyper-awareness is fading steadily.  He settles back into that emptiness, and all those too-strong emotions are hidden away again, leaving nothing but dead, grey static in their wake.

Kazuki steps closer, pressing his shoulder up against Rei’s, sighing softly.  “Just… just want you to be safe.”  

Rei nods.

“Wish I could fix it.”  Kazuki knows he can't fix it.  Can't go back in time, stop the abuse, can't even promise him it'll all be okay.  He knows Rei’s brain is full of hurt, and fear, and regret, and he'd give anything to be able to take it all away.  

“Not your fault.”

He knows, and yet he wants to tear Rei’s shitty father limb from limb, wants to get Rei the full closure he'll never have.  His family is too large to take down, too dangerous to risk killing the leader.  He still contemplates if it'd be worth the risk.  

Kazuki sighs again.  He moves to lean gently on Rei, leaving plenty of opportunity for him to step away, but he doesn't.  Rei simply flicks the burnt cigarette butt to the ground and presses his cheek into Kazuki's hair as they silently contemplate their options.

#buddy daddies #kazuki x rei #rei suwa #sheep fics #suwa rei #kazurei

[i--am--the--sheep]

playing a fun game of how many sir chloe references can i slip into my fics inadvertently

#the answer is too many #talking sheep <3

[i--am--the--sheep]

If I Don't Sleep (I'll Never Dream) [ch 4]

read fic warnings and find other chapters here

Rei’s sleep started dreamless.  He wishes it would have stayed that way.

It starts with memories of the dogs.  Rei always had cared for animals.  It was his father’s first lesson – don’t care for anything but yourself.  He hears them before he sees them, snapping and growling on their chains.  They were raised to fight – aggression sewn into their sinews and soaked into their bones by a life of torture.  They were alive for the same reason as he was: violence.

His father takes him outside, pressing a knife into his palm.  He’s silent, but the look in his eyes is clear.  Only one of you will leave this field.  The dream turns into a flurry of pain, and blood, and gore, before the scene suddenly changes with the loud ringing of a gunshot.  He failed.

Things shift.  He’s staring down at Kazuki’s mutilated, bullet-riddled body.  He’s covered with blood.  The gun is in his hand.  This is his fault, he’s killed the one person he cares about.  He can hear a child crying – Miri?  

“Papa?”  He looks up, sees her cowering in the corner, weeping and spattered in crimson.  He can feel himself reach to her, hold her, comfort her, something, and she yelps.  Her arms are over her head, shielding herself as best she can.  “Please, papa,” is all she can cry out before her form fades and dissolves into dust.  

Things shift again.  He’s trapped, backed into a corner.  His father, his boss, is stalking towards him.  Suddenly, Rei is seventeen again, and he’s just fucked up his first big kill.  He’s certain that this is it.  This is the time the beating goes too far, the knife goes to deep, the blood flows too readily.  And he’s terrified.  He’s back to being some scared kid.  He’s sure everything and everyone is out to hurt him – the world, his father, himself.   

“Rei!”  His father’s voice is overwhelming, an all-encompassing storm of rage and wrath.  He gets close.  “Rei!  Rei!” 

He wakes with a start.  Someone is shaking his shoulders.  “Jesus, are you okay?” 

It’s sheer instinct.  One hand is around his assailant’s throat in a heartbeat, the other reaching for the weapons stowed beneath his pillow.  He doesn’t find one.

“Hey, hey, its me!”  A familiar voice barks at him, and Rei’s eyes focus in, his heart thudding in his chest.  Kazuki.  His hand recoils.

“You’re in my room, remember?  I don’t keep stuff there.”  Kazuki nods to where Rei’s hand is still under the pillow, grasping for some sort of knife or gun.  “They’re usually in the nightstand.  Moved ‘em though, you’re jumpy as all hell.”

Rei’s pulse slows, and he grumbles an apology that Kazuki wasn’t concerned about receiving.  

“Nah, my fault for waking you.  You were shaking pretty badly, wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Rei knows Kazuki doesn’t usually pry unless he needs to.  He could shrug, give absolutely no answer, and the two of them would return to whatever they were doing.  But that seems hurtful, after all Kazuki has done, after what they’ve been through.  Rei doesn’t think he cares about being hurtful.  Maybe he does with Kazuki.

On the other end, talking, sharing, seems daunting.  It makes his stomach churn.  Things like this stir up such a strong reaction from him.  He figures its probably because the other times he brought anything like this up at his father’s house, he’d get beaten within an inch of his life.  His bones ache just thinking about it.  

He ponders for a moment, thinking.  

“Nightmare.”  Just enough information to make Kazuki happy, not so much that Rei would throw up.  Kazuki hummed in acknowledgement.  Silence stretches on for a bit before Kazuki pipes up.

“Can I touch?”  He always asks.  Rei sometimes nods.  Today is one of those sometimes.

Kazuki moves behind him, and Rei expects him to maybe untangle the knots in his hair, or dig his thumbs into the knots in his shoulders.  He’s not expecting to have his partner draped over his back, chin resting on Rei’s shoulder.  Kazuki’s all lean muscle, heavy on his spine, and it feels nice.  Grounding.  

“Kyu said Miri’s been asking for you.  Wants to know when she can come play Mario Kart.”

Rei huffs out half a snicker, bittersweet at the thought of her.  “Does… Does she know?”

“Kyu told her you got hurt in an accident.  That’s all.”  

“...When will she be back?”

Kazuki barks out a laugh.  “What, don’t tell me you miss that little devil?”

Most days, he would have backpedaled.  Taken it back, sworn he didn’t care to keep up appearances.  But its just them, and Kazuki’s weight on his back feels safe.

“Maybe a little.”  Kazuki doesn’t tease or goad, just nods.

“Me too.  Kyu won’t let her stay for too long.  He gets sick of making smoothies and shakes for her.  Just… Just need to make sure everyone is okay first.”

Rei knows that’s mostly about him.  He doesn’t ever feel okay.  Hasn’t for a while.  Doesn’t really feel okay now.  

It does feel a little bit better than usual though, here in Kazuki’s arms.

#buddy daddies #kazuki x rei #rei suwa #sheep fics #suwa rei #kazurei #kurusu kazuki #kazuki kurusu

[i--am--the--sheep]

HOW do writing tenses work i am on the strugglebus

#finding out shit they didnt teach me in school #like wtf is past continuous #there has been so many tense shifts in this piece #writing #talking sheep <3

[i--am--the--sheep]

its literally taken sir chloe releasing a new song for me to start ch 4. its goin great /s

#anyway listen to seventeen by sir chloe #ough the urges to give rei chronic pain and make him incredibly autistic #talking sheep <3

[i--am--the--sheep]

Crush

"Didn't you have a thing for Aionosuke?"

Kaoru nearly trips over his own feet at his friend's words. Nearly. He steadies himself on the sidewalk, before resuming the late-night stroll he was on.

"What's it to you?" He manages to say after a split second of stunned silence. Kaoru's never been one to lose composure, even in front of those closest to him. Kojiro shrugs in response.

"Just curious, I guess."

Kaoru sighs. "Didn't everyone?"

"I didn't." Kojiro sees his friend shoot him a look from the corner of his eye.

"You always seemed busy with those girls you haul around. I didn't figure you were..." He hesitates. "...that way inclined."

Kojiro shrugs again. "I'm not picky. And just so you know, I don't haul them. If anything, those girls haul me." Kaoru scoffs at this.

"Sure. I don't suppose you have a good reason for why I thought you were straight for all these years?"

"You never asked."

"I didn't want to be rude!"

Kojiro barks out a laugh. "Rude? Please, Kaoru, you're the bitchiest person I know."

"You love me, don't deny it."

Kaoru can hear his friend hum in acknowledgment, but he misses the way Kojiro's lips quirk up, or the way his ears flush ever-so-faintly.

"Besides, I've had my eye on someone for quite a while." Kojiro knows this is a dangerous path for this conversation to go down, but he can't stop himself. The conversation lulls to silence for a moment before Kaoru pipes back up.

"You can't just say that and not tell me who it is."

Kojiro shoots his friend a teasing smile. "You'll have to guess."

"At least give me a hint! Do I know them?"

"Yes. I should think pretty well."

Kaoru ponders for a moment, pausing his walking to stand along a railing. "Do they go to S?"

"Yes, often."

"Could they beat me?"

"That narrows it down too far."

"Don't think flattery will get me to drop the subject."

Kojiro chuckles, watching Kaoru worry his lip between his teeth.

"Did I mention that they somehow manage to overlook the obvious?"

"Lack of common sense in your crush? Why am I not surprised?" Kaoru murmurs, still running through a list of faces and names.

"It's you, dumbass."

"Besides, all your little fans are kind of stupid, so--" Kaoru stops his sentence dead in its tracks. "...What?"

Kojiro looks down, feeling heat rising to his cheeks. "I said that it's you."

He can feel his friend-- and long-term crush-- study his face for dishonesty.

"You're not joking?" Kaoru's voice is quiet.

"Do you want me to be?" A beat of silence.

Kojiro should have expected that Kaoru would be forward in this aspect of his life too, but he is a little surprised when he feels lips on his own. Surprised, but not complaining.

When they break away, Kaoru's face is flushed and he's adjusting his hair. "No. I didn't want you to be joking. Come on, I've got some wine at my place. We should catch up."

#matchablossom #kojiro nanjo #nanjo kojiro #sakurayashiki kaoru #kaoru sakurayashiki #sk8 anime #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #sheep fics

[i--am--the--sheep]

Scrape

"Take off your shirt."

At any other time, Kojiro would have replied with some snarky innuendo or at least a pointed look. Currently, however, his mind was preoccupied with figuring out how he was going to peel off his tank top without anything touching the wound on his shoulder.

It had been a particularly warm night, so he'd decided to leave his usual jacket at home, opting instead for a low-cut tank that some would no doubt deem 'slutty'. Between the neckline and thin fabric, Kojiro was sure to get the attention of some girls -- and a few boys, if he was lucky. He had gotten a grimace from Kaoru when he'd arrived, and he'd be lying if he said his fashion wasn't just to piss off his friend.

Unfortunately, his plan worked a little too well, and he pissed off more than just Kaoru. Some girl had apparently been paying too much attention to him, and her boyfriend was less than pleased. Her jealous partner managed to shove Kojiro into the rock wall on the track and scrape up his shoulder. Granted, the guy fell on his ass -- he had to use his entire body weight to move Joe's huge frame. Not to mention the crowd of his fans that gathered to jeer at the assailant. After finishing the course, both Joe and Cherry ended up on their way home for an early night.

And that's how they ended up here, sitting in Kojiro's room above Sia La Luce, with Kaoru picking bits of debris out of the scrape.

"You wouldn't be in this predicament if you didn't dress like that." Kaoru mused, setting down the tweezers and reaching for the damp cloth and gauze. He cleaned the best he could around the wound and started covering it.

"Like what, sexy and appealing?"

"I was thinking of different phrasing, but sure. That works."

Kojiro huffed. "One of us has nipple piercings, and it's not m-- ow! Okay, okay!" The press of the gauze on the scrape softened. "You're a shit doctor."

"You're a shit patient. Gonna pay me for my hard work?"

Kojiro rolled his eyes. "How 'bout I feed you the next time you barge into the restaurant and demand food?"

"You do that anyway, so it doesn't count!" Kaoru argued, but he laughed as he stepped back to check his handiwork.

"I might have some leftovers downstairs?"

"You have yourself a deal."

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 #sk8 anime #kojiro nanjo #nanjo kojiro #kaoru sakurayashiki #sakurayashiki kaoru #matchablossom #sheep fics

[i--am--the--sheep]

Masterlist

| ★ -fluff | ☁︎ - angst | ✦ - hurt/comfort |

Buddy Daddies

Feel Again - KazuRei Series | ☁︎ ✦ |

Sk8 the Infinity

Scrape - Matchablossom | ★ ✦ |

Crush - Matchablossom | ★ |

#sheep fics #masterlist

[i--am--the--sheep]

chai, they/it/he. eighteen.

chat with me in my askbox! send headcanons, ramblings, etc.  if you see a mistake, typo, contradiction, etc, tell me! most of my writing takes place at 4am, so i do sometimes miss stuff.

masterlist, ao3

latest fav -- Feel Again (KazuRei)

block "talking sheep <3" to avoid non-writing.

blog is a work in progress. like me.

[i--am--the--sheep]

about me!

chai or sheep, eighteen, AuDHD, disabled, queer. please use they/it/he pronouns for me.

likes

dogs, weird animals (mostly sea creatures), anime (too many to list), mythology, baja blast, cola with lime, music

dislikes

mayo, cold or heat (IT NEEDS TO BE TEMPERATE), the dark

hobbies

drawing, painting, sewing, gaming, watching my comfort show (bee and puppycat <3), ukulele and guitar, does infodumping count?

my beloveds <3

aizawa shota, tsuchigomori, howell jenkins, suwa rei, opera-san, gojo satoru, astarion ancunnin

music

sir chloe, ghost, idkhbtfm, lillie venn, mother mother, mcr, noahfinnce, penelope scott, yungblud, conan gray

feel free to send me shit in my askbox! chat, send headcannons about your favorite characters, send media recs, ask me to infodump about something i like, etc.

[i--am--the--sheep]

Mine To Hold [ch 3]

read fic warnings and find other chapters here

Rei was sure he was drowning.

He was drowning in an inky black ocean that smelled faintly of iodine and Kazuki's shampoo.  

Where was he again? 

Something – someone – shifts next to him. Kazuki? He can vaguely remember getting home, being moved from the bathroom to a bed. If Kazuki was there, everything must be fine.  

His eyes feel stuck shut, and he tries hard to ignore the ache of guilt in his chest. The image of Kazuki’s face when Rei left his father’s house is glued to the backs of his eyelids. Flashes of his partner, his family, his life, float around his brain, drifting in a swirl of disorientation and pain.

Deep down in his chest, in a part of his heart that has never been truly acknowledged, Rei is glad it hurts. He’s glad it’s painful. It feels like a penance. He focuses on the searing pain radiating from his shoulder, up his neck and down his arm, and he tells himself it's what someone like him deserves.  

He put the only people he’s ever cared about in danger. He thinks he probably deserves worse.

“Rei? Are you awake?”

Rei considers not moving, keeping his eyes shut and ignoring Kazuki. He feels like being rude right now, but he decides against it. He pries his eyes open, blinking up at the dark ceiling.  

“Mm.” He knows Kazuki’s shoulders droop in relief without even having to see him. 

“Here, Kyu snagged you some stronger painkillers.” There’s a rattle of pills next to Rei’s ear, a white bottle in his peripherals. Rei shakes his head, probably harder than he needs to.

“Save ‘em.”  

Kazuki lets out an exasperated sigh. “You got fucking shot, man. Take some.” He neglects to add who shot him.

“‘m fine.” He feels Kazuki’s hand leave, about to toss the bottle onto the table next to him. “I’ve had worse.” He adds, mostly to himself, under his breath and barely audible.

Kazuki falters, pausing and blinking down at Rei. His voice is soft. “Doesn’t have to hurt, you know.”

But it always does.  

Rei knows that, and has known from a very young age. There’s no use in a painkiller when the ache will be back tomorrow.  

“Just one?” Rei shakes his head again. He has always been stubborn. Kazuki has always been worse.

“...half?”

Rei finally relents, knowing if he doesn't, Kazuki will hound him for the next hour.  

“Half.” He can hear the flick of Kazuki's pocket knife, the dull click of it splitting a pill against the dresser. Half of a crumbling pill is pressed into his open palm, and he swallows it without another word.  

Rei doesn't like painkillers, but here he is taking them anyway. It makes him feel weak and undeserving of the dampening of his pain. He takes them for Kazuki's sake and eventually falls back into a dreamless sleep.

#kazuki x rei #kurusu kazuki #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa #suwa rei #sheep fics #buddy daddies

[i--am--the--sheep]

Take The One I Love The Most [ch 2]

read fic warnings and find other chapters here

“Jesus Christ, man.  What were you trying to do?”  Kazuki knew he was mostly talking to himself.  Rei was unresponsive aside from the occasional soft groans of pain.  His shoulder was finally in full view, and it wasn’t great.  Getting shot there was a pretty nasty predicament – it’d fuck him up for a good while, and could have permanent repercussions.  Although, Kazuki assumed, that was probably his intention.

Kazuki worked as swiftly as he could without making any mistakes.  Mistakes were not an option right now – not when his partner was bleeding from an inconveniently located wound with far too much blood flow.  He opened the first aid kit, pulled a bowl out from under the sink, grabbed some iodine from the cabinet, and started setting up.  He filled the bowl with water, threw in a clean cloth, and uncapped the iodine. 

“Gonna touch you, Rei.”  A warning for the semi-conscious assassin.  He started using the iodine and gauze pads to clean the edges of the wound, getting a hiss of pain anytime his fingers dug too deep into the bloodied flesh.  He moved on to the packing process, wincing as he shoved layer after layer of gauze into the wound and tried to hold Rei still.  He knew it hurt.  He’d had bullet wounds of his own packed before, but his wounds weren’t nearly this bad.  Rei gritted his teeth and pushed his head further into the ceramic of the bathtub, a low noise creeping up his throat.  That’s how Kazuki knew this was bad – Rei was always silent about any injuries he had.  But in this woozy, delirious state, he was making noises he’d normally never make.

After the wound was thoroughly packed, tight with gauze on both ends, Kazuki could finally move on to cleaning around the bullet hole.  There was blood smeared across Rei’s collarbone and arm, the crimson contrasting starkly with the porcelain skin of someone who preferred to stay indoors.  He almost smiled, thinking of Rei closing the curtains one day, hiding from the sun to play video games with Miri.  

God, Miri.  

What would they tell her?  Papa got shot trying to protect you and Daddy Kazuki from a family business of killers for hire?  It was already a challenge explaining to the daycare that the comedian/oil baron thing was a prank from a friend of theirs.  Kazuki didn’t think he could pass off a second (and more concerning) job as a joke.  Thank the stars that ‘Uncle Kyu’ agreed to watch Miri for a few days.  He shook his head, trying to clear his brain as he rinsed and wrung out the bloody cloth.  He wiped the last bit of blood from Rei’s chest, cloth gliding over countless scars and old injuries.  Kazuki unraveled a roll of bandages part way, wrapping it around Rei’s shoulder and under his arm, securing it to keep everything in place.  He inspected his work, taking a deep shuddering breath.

Here he was, sitting between Rei’s knees, blood under his nails and sweat running down his neck, shaking from the adrenaline.  He could feel his eyes starting to sting, not that he acknowledged it.  Instead, he gently laid his forehead on Rei’s chest, careful not to jostle him.

“You aren’t disposable, y’know.  Fuckin’ moron.  Can’t lose you.”  He felt like yelling, screaming.  But his voice was soft, cracking around the lump in his throat.  “We need you around here.  Miri needs you.  I–”  Kauzki stopped, swallowing and blinking down the nervous tears pooling in his eyes.

Rei didn’t respond, only moving his good arm closer to where Kazuki was resting his hands on his legs.  He pretended not to notice when he felt the blond wrap his hand around his wrist, fingers resting on Rei’s pulse point.  He mostly focused on drowning out his spinning head and throbbing shoulder.  That, and trying to ignore the strange pang of guilt deep in his chest.

#buddy daddies #kazuki x rei #kazurei #kurusu kazuki #kazuki kurusu #suwa rei #rei suwa #sheep fics

[i--am--the--sheep]

Something Violent [ch 1]

read fic warnings and find other chapters here

If the Suwa blood truly ran in his veins, Rei had just bled it out.

He'd certainly lost quite a bit of it.  You can only be so strategic with self-inflicted bullet wounds, especially mid-argument while proving a point.  The pain hadn't really kicked in yet; his body was still buzzing with adrenaline and shock as he dragged himself out of the mansion he was raised in.

Kazuki waited for him outside, leaning on the car.  Rei wondered if his partner expected him to do something so drastic.  Judging by the reaction, he guessed not.

"Hey, dude-- Rei! Your shoulde--" Kazuki took a step forward towards the bloodied assassin.

"Don't worry about it."  Rei interrupted, waving him off with his good hand.  "I did it to myself."

It took a moment for it to register in Kazuki's brain, his outstretched hand falling to his side.  "You...You did it to yourself.  You did it to yourself?!"  His tone quickly changed from blind acceptance to sheer disbelief.  "What the hell were you thinking?"

Rei shrugged as best he could, sidling past him towards the passenger side door.  Kazuki turned to watch him incredulously for a moment before sighing defeatedly and getting into the driver's seat.  He shot Rei another look as he sat down, biting back any remarks.  They wouldn't do any good now.  

The drive back to the apartment was silent, aside from Rei's unusually labored breathing.  By the time they got back to the apartment, he was sucking in shallow, uneven breaths, and he barely seemed to process that he was back home.  Thankfully, his hand was still pressed firmly against his shoulder, but Kazuki knew that he had lost a lot of blood.  Rei was either in shock, disassociating, or was just woozy from blood loss.  Probably all three.

"Rei."

"...hm?"

Kazuki was standing above him, car door open, waiting for a response.  When did he get there?

"We gotta get you inside.  Can you stand?"

After a great deal of stumbling and swaying, Kazuki managed to help Rei into the house, up the stairs, and into the bathroom.  

"Careful sitting dow-" Rei ignored any warnings, collapsing onto the floor against the bathtub.  His head immediately lolled back onto the porcelain, eyes looking unfocused and glassy.  "--down.  Alright."

Kazuki slowly knelt next to his partner, trying not to spook him with any sudden movements.  God knows they didn't need his blood pumping any faster.  He had the first aid box they kept above the sink, filled with more than the normal supplies.  "Gonna take these off, okay?"  It was less of a question, more of a warning as he pulled the suit jacket down off Rei's shoulders.  The large red bloom of blood on the previously crisp white dress shirt made Kazuki pale.  

"Shit, what were you thinking?"  He mumbled, mostly to himself.

"'m useless now.  They won't hurt you."  Rei's words were quiet and slurred, but they made Kazuki choke on his own breath.

Useless?   He shoved the arguments aside -- right now, he needed to stop the bleeding.  It wasn't the time to fight over anyone's personal value.

He opened the med kit, pulling out a pair of scissors, and using them to cut the bloodied button down in a few places to make the removal as painless as possible.  The good news was that Rei's bullet wasn't a huge caliber, and that given the circumstances, his placement was better than it could have been.  The bad news was that it was still a fucking bullet hole, and the shoulder is not a prime location to be shot.  

Kazuki sighed.  Time to play doctor.

#sheep fics #buddy daddies #kazuki kurusu #rei suwa #kurusu kazuki #suwa rei #kazurei #kazuki x rei

[i--am--the--sheep]

Feel Again - KazuRei

Deep down in his chest, in a part of his heart that has never been truly acknowledged, Rei is glad it hurts. He’s glad it’s painful. It feels like a penance. He focuses on the searing pain radiating from his shoulder, up his neck and down his arm, and he tells himself it's what someone like him deserves.

He put the only people he’s ever cared about in danger. He thinks he probably deserves worse.

Rei leaves his father's house with a brand new injury, and Kazuki is now playing doctor, therapist, and partner.

Warnings: disassociation, hurt/comfort, wound treating, gunshot wounds, canon typical violence, abuse/abusive parent, self-harm, unhealthy relationships with pain, canon typical animal violence. AO3 has specific warnings before each chapter.

Tumblr links below, or read on AO3!

Something Violent

Take The One I Love The Most

Mine To Hold

If I Don't Sleep (I'll Never Dream)

Cut Away The Teeth

ch 6 in progress

several parts of this series are inspired by Sir Chloe's album I Am The Dog. All chapter titles are lyrics by them, and honestly the album fits really well with the vibes. I definitely recommend giving it a listen and thats not just because i love sir chloe

i am the dog album

#buddy daddies #sheep fics #rei suwa #suwa rei #kazuki x rei #kurusu kazuki #kazuki kurusu