i-am-mrs-mali
馃挏Mrs. Mali馃挏
A devoted and loyal wife to a loving and wonderful husband, going through life dealing with the day to day struggles of PCOS and all the other stuff life has to offer.
Total Gamer Wife. Furbaby Momma. Anime Lover. 18+
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Small Update, Big News
So it's been a long couple of months. I have had numerous negative pregnancy tests. Countless tears have been shed and for awhile there it just seemed hopeless with our whole situation and environment weighing down on us. However, there's light at the end of the tunnel and things are beginning to look up.
We still have numerous challenges ahead of us but we've decided to make our move out of this toxic environment. We're leaving in November and going somewhere I feel safe and somewhere my husband won't feel so pressured. Hopefully this will help us on our TTC journey and new adventures will unfold. Whatever happens though, we are taking back control of the reins of our lives.
In regards to the TTC, my Gyno has introduced me to a fertility specialist who has helped me with so much. She referred me to a nutritionist who has put me on a Mediterranean diet and I've actually lost an accumulated 20lbs! I have never felt so positive and hopeful about a diet before but I think this one might do it. She's also suggested Ovasitol for a supplement to help me regulate my system as I continue to lose weight.
I'm working hard on keeping a positive mindset and looking forward to greener pastures where we're going. I know it won't be easy and it will definitely not be a walk in the park but I do know that as long as I have my husband by my side, we'll be just fine.
#i_am_mrs_mali#i am mrs mali#fight like a girl#fight like a woman#pcos#ttc with pcos#pcossucks#pcosawareness#pcoscommunity#pcosdiet#mediterranean diet#moving#pcosfighter
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Waiting
Waiting is always the hardest thing to do for me. I want to know. It doesn't have to be particularly right that second but soon. Especially when it comes to expanding our family. My doctor has me taking at home tests every two weeks and if the "negative" isn't hard enough, I have to add waiting right on top of it. PCOS has not made this an easy journey and my ovulation cycles seemed to be all messed up but we're not discouraged. We're still positive about it. If anything that is one thing we are the most positive about; we want a family and we are determined.
Just a small blurb of an update during all of this crazy mess of New Year shenanigans. I hope everyone had a great Christmas or any other holiday they choose to celebrate and had a wonderful start to the new year. I'm trying my best to keep positive with this one and not let the stuff from '21 keep me down, but I know just because it's a new year doesn't mean people have changed or situations get easier just like that.
#update#i_am_mrs_mali#i am mrs mali#fight like a girl#be kind#fight like a woman#pcos#pcosfighter#pcossucks#personal blog#personal update#ttc with pcos#pcoscommunity#pcosjourney#ttccommunity#trying my best
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Necessity
*(Trigger Warning)*
When you're young, sometimes you build habits out of necessity. These habits often times are harmless and there's nothing meant by them. Sometimes it's as simple as always keeping an extra pair of socks in your bag or an extra tampon or two just in case; you never know. Other times they're a little more complicated and you've come to always keeping your important dates on cards in your wallet, but on the calendar too and don't forget the one in your phone because you missed one too many appointments. These habits are harmless; built on a need that arose from an experience that meant no harm.
Yet, there are habits built out of necessity that aren't so simple. Habits built when you're small because you have no choice. These habits are usually ones we don't know we have until we're much older and someone goes, "Why?" ...
It makes you stop. Think. Wonder for a minute. Then you realize.
You say "sorry" all the time because someone once made you feel like you messed up everything all the time.
You say "You didn't have to do that" after every gift or any little bit of help because someone once made you feel like if you didn't earn it you shouldn't have it.
You over explain everything because someone once didn't believe you and you felt punished.
You always have a reason for getting a gift because someone once made you feel like you didn't deserve it and shouldn't receive anything even if it was simply out of kindness.
You always have a "back up plan" or a "way out" of every social situation because you once felt there was no way out of situation that made you feel horrible and stuck.
But the worst habit of all to form is the habit of believing you are undeserving of everything you get because someone once made you feel you weren't.
These habits were formed out of necessity. A necessity to survive and prove your worthiness to others. I have formed these habits and I have only realized them recently. It wasn't until last night, though, when someone close to me asked "Why? Why do you do that?"
I want to tell anyone and everyone who has formed these habits... you ARE worth it! You DESERVE everything you get! You DON'T have to be sorry all the time! It's okay, though, I understand.
#i_am_mrs_mali#i am mrs mali#random#triggering themes#potentially triggering#triggering stuff#habits#necessary#necessary habits#personal blog#personal
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