incorrect-mossvale-quotes
What We Do In The Shadows of Mossvale
Some incorrect quotes regarding our Buffy RPG game and the characters therein! Edit: This has now been expanded to the games played thereafter: our current one is a Call of Cthulhu campaign!
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Reese: Look, if you've got something you wanna get off your chest...I'm not much help. But I also don't judge.
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Victor: I have a science headcanon!
Reese: Victor, I am BEGGING you to say "hypothesis" instead.
Victor: So, my science headcanon is-
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Louis: All right, let's get back to talking about my outfit.
Quentin: Nobody was talking about that.
Louis: Which is why I'm trying to get that ball rolling! So, how does it look? It's good, right?
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Reese: Hi Quentin! Listen, your aunt was saying that if we want-
Quentin: Wait! What the hell, Reese?!
Reese: What? What did I do?
Quentin: You've grown! You're taller than me and you're two years younger!
Reese: You've never heard of growth spurts?
Quentin: ...Only in legends.
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Louis: (texting Roman about his breakup) It's my own fault. I ignored all the red flags and let myself get hurt, and now he's gone on to the next bigger, better deal.
Roman: First off, I'm not going to let you be down on yourself. Second, Reese and I are here for you.
Louis: Thanks. And please tell Reese not to go apeshit.
Roman: Oh, sure, just tell me how to get to the alternate reality where I married someone who makes calm choices.
Reese: (packing behind Roman) Ask Louis which airport is closest to his ex: I have to look up which airline offers "I need to cut someone" discounts.
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Big Bad of the Day: (glaring at Louis and Reese) I want those twinks OBLITERATED.
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Reese: I'M GOING TO EVISCERATE YOU AND WEAR YOUR GASTROINTESTINAL TRACT AS A CONDOM WHEN I FORNICATE IN YOUR SKULL!
Werewolf: ...What?
Reese: I'M GONNA SKULLFUCK YOU!!!!!
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Courtney: Reese...something Langston!
Reese: ...Do you not remember my middle name?!
Maurice: We have so many disasters bombarding us. The middle name of an ungrateful child is hardly a priority.
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Louis: Hey, if I ask you a boy question, do you promise not to be weird?
Quentin: I promise.
Louis: So there’s this guy—
Quentin: You can do better.
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Louis: I don’t “skate through life.” I walk through it. In really nice shoes.
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(Context: Just after their first duet in Episode 3)
Reese: I think... you're my best friend.
Ruaraidh: You think?
Reese: Well, I can't know for sure, because I'm realizing now that I've never had one.
Ruaraidh: ...This would be a really sweet moment if what you just admitted wasn't so sad.
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(Context: Louis and Reese are relaxing at a spa, sitting in a mud bath wearing facial masks and with tiny cheese wheels covering their eyes, sipping champagne.)
Reese: ...So, what are the cheese wheels for?
Louis: It pains me that you even have to ask.
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Reese: It took many years of vomiting up all the filth I’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before I was able to walk on the earth as though I had a right to be here.
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Reese: Good news, everyone! The university is bringing me up on disciplinary charges. Wait, that's not good news at all.
Louis: Whatever you did, Reese, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.
Reese: Yes, but they won't listen. Everyone's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ooh, suddenly you've gone too far.
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Louis: How do you cope with your own mortality?
Victor: Reckless outbursts.
Quentin: I don't.
Reese: Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!
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Reese: (pleasantly, masking contempt) Nobody destroys a boy quite like you, Dad.
Maurice: (in a matching tone) Thank you, you repulsive disappointment.
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Maurice: Courtney, where is our son?
Courtney: Huh?
Maurice: Our baby!
Courtney: (visibly sitting on Baby Reese) What baby?
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