Lucy: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone staring at me weird.
Viktor: We are all Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
Viktor: Stressed, broke, gay.
Eclipsa: Has anyone seen Marco or Tom?
Janna: Last time I saw them they were getting slushies at the fair
Marco and Tom: [walking up to them with purple mouths]
Marco, holding a red slushie: Hi guys!
Tom, holding a blue slushie: Why are you guys looking at us like that?
Renji: Is the pink panther a lion?
Byakuya: Say that again but slower.
Renji: I don’t get it???
Byakuya: He’s the pink PANTHER.
Renji: Okay? But is he a lion?
Byakuya: Renji. He’s a panther.
Renji: Is that a kind of lion?
Byakuya: No. It’s a fucking panther.
Renji: I just googled it. They’re not pink?
Byakuya: AND LIONS ARE?
Ruby: Apparently you’re supposed to present as “feminine” or “masculine”
Ruby: Well I‘m presenting as a Fucking Idiot!
I like eating pussy as much as I like having dick shoved down my throat.
Robyn: Shoutout to May who, at lunchtime yesterday, called her estrogen pills Titty Skittles
Robyn: I appreciated that greatly and it was the funniest thing I’ve heard all year
Heejin: Being a lesbian isn’t all fun and games, sometimes you get really used to stealing your girlfriend’s clothes and then she goes on a trip and you have no pants to wear
Hyunjin: I literally packed two pairs of pants
Heejin: THE GOOD PANTS
D-Evil: no talk me im angy
kurogane: You’re the youngest out of all of us here, so I want you to call me senpai!
player: Goo goo ga ga bitch, I can call you whatever I want.
JT: [To Malcolm] I dare you to—
Dani: Gil said Bright isn’t allowed to accept dares.
Malcolm: Apparently I have “no regard for my personal safety”.
Namjoon: Nunchucks are illegal in some states, but guns are not. So if you tie two guns together it’s neither legal or illegal
Seokjin: Schrodinger’s gunchucks
Hoseok: Why does Schrodinger have so many things?
Yoongi: Schrodinger’s hoarding problem
Nora: Caffeine is stored in the me
Nora: It’s midnight and I can’t sleep
Nora: Stupid… is also stored in the me
Shanks: We are all Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
Shanks: Stressed, broke, gay.