incorrectbatfam

[incorrectbatfam]

Tim: Trees live underground and use the above-ground part as a snorkel.

Duke: I fucking guess.

#source: tumblr #tim drake #red robin #duke thomas #signal #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics #tw swearing

[incorrectbatfam]

We have Bruce doing Good Dad™ things but what about Neutral Dad™ things

Mowing the lawn while drinking a cup of coffee

Standing outside and staring at an oncoming storm

Sneezes that get louder with each kid he adopts

"Hold this light while I fix this"

"Do NOT touch the thermostat"

Falling asleep on the recliner while watching a show that he'll pretend to hate when the kids ask about it

Matching cargo shorts, socks, and sandals with Clark every time they're in Smallville

#bruce wayne #batman #batdad #batfamily #batfam #batman family #clark kent #superman #justice league #batboys #batbros #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #dc comics #headcanon #batposting #shitpost

[incorrectbatfam]

Riddler: Ah, yes. I’ve been expecting you.

Bruce: What? How’s that possible?

Riddler: By staring at that door continuously for hours. Something was bound to happen.

#source: inside job #bruce wayne #batman #edward nygma #riddler #gotham rogues #batfamily #batfam #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc villains #dc comics

[incorrectbatfam]

The batfam's time machine breaks down in the past

Lucky for them, there's an ancient Sumerian copper merchant happy to sell them the parts

#dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #kate kane #alfred pennyworth #selina kyle #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #dc comics #headcanon #batposting #shitpost

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: We do this the old-fashioned way

Jason: *pulls out a Molotov cocktail*

Dick: How did you make that so fast?!

#source: the good place #jason todd #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batkids #batbros #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics

[incorrectbatfam]

Can someone fact check this for me, something seems off

What if Janet went into Labor with Tim during a Wayne gala and Bruce helped deliver him, but Bruce didn’t realize Tim was the same baby

Until a random stakeout/confrontation with a villain/league meeting, he remembers suddenly and just straight up goes

“I birthed you”

He then starts to think back to all the other women he helped and like...

– Teenage Bruce stopping in the middle of his day to help Mary Grayson call the hospital when her water breaks in public

– His first test of people skills as Batman is looking after Sandra Wu-San, not knowing she'd become Lady Shiva

– A short while later Batman does the same for Sheila Haywood because Willis didn't bother to show up

– Arthur Brown being too absorbed in his scandals and early scheming to be present so Batman swoops in for Crystal

– Then Janet Drake going into labor at a Wayne gala and Bruce helping her through that

– Couple years later, Batman keeping Elaine Thomas company in the twilight hours

– He stops to help Talia amidst a dangerous battle, not knowing the baby is his and her maintaining the secret

– He gets sidetracked on a time travel mission and assists a stranger, not realizing it's Mary Pennyworth

#bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam #batman family #dc comics

[incorrectbatfam]

Oh he's MOLDY

#jason todd #red hood #batfamily #batfam #batbros #batboys #batkids #batsiblings #batman #batman family #dc comics #wayne family adventures #tumblr polls #poll game #poll results #dc edit #edit is mine #art is not mine

[incorrectbatfam]

What if Janet went into Labor with Tim during a Wayne gala and Bruce helped deliver him, but Bruce didn’t realize Tim was the same baby

Until a random stakeout/confrontation with a villain/league meeting, he remembers suddenly and just straight up goes

“I birthed you”

He then starts to think back to all the other women he helped and like...

– Teenage Bruce stopping in the middle of his day to help Mary Grayson call the hospital when her water breaks in public

– His first test of people skills as Batman is looking after Sandra Wu-San, not knowing she'd become Lady Shiva

– A short while later Batman does the same for Sheila Haywood because Willis didn't bother to show up

– Arthur Brown being too absorbed in his scandals and early scheming to be present so Batman swoops in for Crystal

– Then Janet Drake going into labor at a Wayne gala and Bruce helping her through that

– Couple years later, Batman keeping Elaine Thomas company in the twilight hours

– He stops to help Talia amidst a dangerous battle, not knowing the baby is his and her maintaining the secret

– He gets sidetracked on a time travel mission and assists a stranger, not realizing it's Mary Pennyworth

#bruce #batman #batfamily #batfam #batman family #dc comics #headcanon #crack

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Damian, why do you torment me?

Damian: I am your hubris manifested.

#source: tumblr #bruce wayne #batman #damian wayne #robin #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc comics

[incorrectbatfam]

List of Alfred (the butler) exes

Mademoiselle Marie (that's who he had Julia with pre-Crisis)

Leslie Thompkins

Mrs. Mac (the Drakes' live-in maid)

Half the royal family

One of his fellow soldiers during the war

James Bond

Peggy Carter when reality got messy again

Post-Endgame old man Steve Rogers

The Gotham school district superintendent

A mob boss

A champion casino player in Monaco

One of his co-stars from when he was an actor

At least one person from every retirement home in Gotham

Jimmy Olsen's uncle (completely unknowingly until he's invited to meet the family)

An enemy spy to gain intel

3 of the 4 Beatles

#alfred pennyworth #batman #batfamily #batfam #batman family #dc comics #headcanon #crack #crackship #batposting #shitpost

[incorrectbatfam]

List of Alfred (the cat) exes

Streaky, Kara's cat

One of Selina's cats

Meatpie, Zatanna's cat

A very short tiger

A back-alley stray

Grumpy Cat

Nyan Cat

One of the Aristocats

Teekl, Klarion's familiar

Currently in an on-off relationship with Dex-Starr

#alfred the cat #streaky the supercat #meatpie #teekl #dex starr #damian wayne #robin #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #kara danvers #supergirl #zatanna #klarion the witch boy #atrocitus #justice league #dc villains #dc comics #headcanon #crack #batposting #shitpost

[incorrectbatfam]

We did it guys!!! We all suck!!!

Batfam's favorite weird food combinations

Dick: *pours orange juice in cereal*

Bette: *cooks oatmeal with egg whites*

Cass: *puts whipped cream in soda*

Jason: *melts chocolate onto bacon*

Steph: *dusts fries with powdered sugar*

Cullen: *eats pickles with peanut butter*

Harper: *spreads the same peanut butter on a burger*

Helena: *wraps melon slices in prosciutto*

Tim: *slathers pizza in ranch*

Luke: *makes tuna salad with fruits*

Damian: *drizzles olive oil on ice cream*

Carrie: *adds chips to a PB&J*

Kate: *sprinkles sugar on tomatoes*

Duke: *buys chili with a cinnamon roll*

Barbara: *dips strawberries in balsamic vinegar*

Selina: *stirs butter into her coffee*

Bruce: *grates cheese on top of apple pie*

Alfred, offended: Who raised you all?

Alfred: *opens a can of beans with his toast*

#peer reviewed comment #dc comics #tw food mention #cursed

[incorrectbatfam]

Keep going guys, we almost got the whole set

Batfam's favorite weird food combinations

Dick: *pours orange juice in cereal*

Bette: *cooks oatmeal with egg whites*

Cass: *puts whipped cream in soda*

Jason: *melts chocolate onto bacon*

Steph: *dusts fries with powdered sugar*

Cullen: *eats pickles with peanut butter*

Harper: *spreads the same peanut butter on a burger*

Helena: *wraps melon slices in prosciutto*

Tim: *slathers pizza in ranch*

Luke: *makes tuna salad with fruits*

Damian: *drizzles olive oil on ice cream*

Carrie: *adds chips to a PB&J*

Kate: *sprinkles sugar on tomatoes*

Duke: *buys chili with a cinnamon roll*

Barbara: *dips strawberries in balsamic vinegar*

Selina: *stirs butter into her coffee*

Bruce: *grates cheese on top of apple pie*

Alfred, offended: Who raised you all?

Alfred: *opens a can of beans with his toast*

#peer reviewed comment #peer reviewed tags #dc comics #tw food mention

[incorrectbatfam]

Batfam's favorite weird food combinations

Dick: *pours orange juice in cereal*

Bette: *cooks oatmeal with egg whites*

Cass: *puts whipped cream in soda*

Jason: *melts chocolate onto bacon*

Steph: *dusts fries with powdered sugar*

Cullen: *eats pickles with peanut butter*

Harper: *spreads the same peanut butter on a burger*

Helena: *wraps melon slices in prosciutto*

Tim: *slathers pizza in ranch*

Luke: *makes tuna salad with fruits*

Damian: *drizzles olive oil on ice cream*

Carrie: *adds chips to a PB&J*

Kate: *sprinkles sugar on tomatoes*

Duke: *buys chili with a cinnamon roll*

Barbara: *dips strawberries in balsamic vinegar*

Selina: *stirs butter into her coffee*

Bruce: *grates cheese on top of apple pie*

Alfred, offended: Who raised you all?

Alfred: *opens a can of beans with his toast*

#peer reviewed comment #dc comics #tw food mention

[incorrectbatfam]

Also my own contribution:

Batfam's favorite weird food combinations

Dick: *pours orange juice in cereal*

Bette: *cooks oatmeal with egg whites*

Cass: *puts whipped cream in soda*

Jason: *melts chocolate onto bacon*

Steph: *dusts fries with powdered sugar*

Cullen: *eats pickles with peanut butter*

Harper: *spreads the same peanut butter on a burger*

Helena: *wraps melon slices in prosciutto*

Tim: *slathers pizza in ranch*

Luke: *makes tuna salad with fruits*

Damian: *drizzles olive oil on ice cream*

Carrie: *adds chips to a PB&J*

Kate: *sprinkles sugar on tomatoes*

Duke: *buys chili with a cinnamon roll*

Barbara: *dips strawberries in balsamic vinegar*

Selina: *stirs butter into her coffee*

Bruce: *grates cheese on top of apple pie*

Alfred, offended: Who raised you all?

Alfred: *opens a can of beans with his toast*

#peer reviewed tags #tags are not mine #dc comics

[incorrectbatfam]

Batfam's favorite weird food combinations

Dick: *pours orange juice in cereal*

Bette: *cooks oatmeal with egg whites*

Cass: *puts whipped cream in soda*

Jason: *melts chocolate onto bacon*

Steph: *dusts fries with powdered sugar*

Cullen: *eats pickles with peanut butter*

Harper: *spreads the same peanut butter on a burger*

Helena: *wraps melon slices in prosciutto*

Tim: *slathers pizza in ranch*

Luke: *makes tuna salad with fruits*

Damian: *drizzles olive oil on ice cream*

Carrie: *adds chips to a PB&J*

Kate: *sprinkles sugar on tomatoes*

Duke: *buys chili with a cinnamon roll*

Barbara: *dips strawberries in balsamic vinegar*

Selina: *stirs butter into her coffee*

Bruce: *grates cheese on top of apple pie*

Alfred, offended: Who raised you all?

Alfred: *opens a can of beans with his toast*

#dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #damian wayne #duke thomas #cullen row #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #barbara gordon #harper row #carrie kelley #kate kane #helena bertinelli #luke fox #bette kane #alfred pennyworth #selina kyle #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #dc comics #tw food mention #peer reviewed comments

[incorrectbatfam]

#jason todd #red hood #batman #batfamily #batfam #batbros #batboys #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #dc comics #dc edit #meme #edit is not mine