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jasmineway · 5 months

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Addison // 11-24-2023

Well, we did it, we managed to snag a reservation at the nearly impossible to get into newly-minted 3rd-star restaurant in Southern California (the only 3* in SoCal, may we add). Unfortunately for me, this reservation (on a holiday weekend!) happened to overlap with some dental shenanigans, but fortunately for everyone, the team here is so outstanding in their commitment to inclusivity that they managed to put out a meal I could mostly enjoy anyway (with slight modifications).

Setting:

Set near the golf course at the Fairmont Grand Del Mar, you could be forgiven for mistaking the burnt orange exterior for the entrance to a spa or club lounge. That mistake would be quickly remedied at the site of the large wrought-iron door ornamentation, but the inspiration here is far from the quaint cottage of TFL or subtle doorway of Alinea. We passed the time pre-dinner putting on the green, working in a handsome library, and meeting Santa in the surrounding resort. The resort overall is fantastic, the restaurant a little McMansion looking on the outside but handsomely adorned. 8/10.

Service:

As I said, truly spectacular. Dishes were delivered in synchrony, doors were opened exactly on time, but there was a far more relaxed air compared to other places of this caliber that put diners at ease. Our sommelier and head server matched our energy and joked throughout our entire service, with a seamless transition to more formal tones at our adjacent tables. They didn't just go above and beyond accommodating my jaw pain (a huge issue! I could barely do jello!) but also in making us feel welcome and at home at an otherwise precariously nice dinner. Requests were met, service was precise, but never once did we feel under a microscope or fussed over in a bad way. 10/10, this is what fine dining should feel like.

Beverage Service:

Our sommelier and hosts both were very accommodating to our minimal drinking palette, but still paired us with a 99-point champagne that was, unsurprisingly, the best I have every enjoyed personally.

The birthday boy was very excited, his expression nonwithstanding.

Amuse Bouche: "Delivery"

"Oysters, Horseradish, Smoked Roe, Green Apple"

This was a masterclass in flavor. I have had oysters prepared many different ways, in infinite shades of "yep, that's the ocean." This was the first time I've had anything in the mussel, clam or oyster family that tasted spectacular; like a salad that actually clicked right. 10/10

Preludes:

Prelude 1: Sake Cured Kampachi - Nigiri

I wish I had a better photo of this, because the best way to describe this was "leaf-type Pokemon meets leaf-type Poke." Just a perfect semi-sphere of raw fish and fresh vegetables.

Prelude 2: "Chicken Liver Churro, Bitter Chocolate"

Prelude 3: "Sage Hill Ranch Garden Greens"

Chicken liver churro was a confusing choice, the textures were good but the ooze of the pate when taking a bite gave me pause. This dip was saved by the deep fried vegetable-laden pillow, featuring vegetables grown from a single origin local garden because of course, why not?

Prelude 4: "Wagyu Tartar, Squid Ink Cracker, Miso Mayo"

I'm not one for uncooked food, but chef Bradley knew how to prep them. This tartare had the perfect texture, and I did not get the classic 'sneaking into the cookie dough' ick factor with the meat's cold texture. Light and fluffy wafer. 8/10.

Prelude 5: "Iberian Ham, Crispy Potato, White Truffles"

Sadly I missed out on some of this fifth appetizer due to the ham, but wow was that texture amazing.

Main Tasting Menu:

Course 1: Kanpachi Sashimi, Preserved Pear, Golden Kiwi, Pichuberry Ponzu

This was hard-mode chopsticks challenge, and I was ready for the test after two weeks in Japan. I have never had better sashimi. 10/10.

Course 2: Shellfish Chawanmushi, Broccoli, Bok Choy, Celtuce

Most of my friends are aware of my disdain for uni. My philosophy is, "if you have to pulverize a food to make it completely unrecognizable for me to like it, I probably do not like it." This uni was prepared such that it was the star of the show but it WAS delicious. Perfectly cooked. No weird tongue texture. Amazing. 7/10 (mainly because I still really do not care for Uni)

Course 3: Regilis Ova Reserve Caviar, Koshihikari Rice, Smoked Sabayon

Okay, I understand why our server said "eggs and rice" is chef's most famous dish. This was unparalleled. This was divine. The caviar is from Thomas Keller's company (there was a letter from him on the kitchen wall, mind you). The rice had a toasted sesame undertone. These were the Dippin' Dots of caviar courses, with both the eggs and rice in perfect spheres. 10/10.

Course 4: Fish & Chips, Toasted Dill, Burnt Onion Dip

I tried this, I shouldn't have, since this and the bread were the only courses too firm for me. Flavor of the dip was tasty, but not special. 5/10.

Course 5: Splendid Alfonsino, Flavors of Fall, Clam Butter

I don't know what they did to this fish skin but I could eat ten more plates of this course alone. The fish flavor was good, the seasoning was the elevating factor. 8/10.

Course 6: Sourdough Bread, Goat's Milk, Browned Honey Butter

I love red fife sourdough. I had jaw issues. I did not get to enjoy the crush of this bread, but the inside was perfect.

Course 7: Rosemary Roasted Sweetbreads, Pine Nut "Riso," Little Gem

I am not sure if I or my friend got the replacement dish for this one, but whatever it was was really tasty, with breaded chicken served on the side. Everything was cohesive but overall not as memorable as other courses, 7/10.

Course 8: A5 Wagyu, Miso-Eggplant, Matsutake Broth, Black Garlic

Chef Bradley clearly has a talent for pulling together spectacular flavors, and cooking meats (mostly seafoods) in a creative and fresh light. Unfortunately, this wagyu (a $250+ supplement!) was not it. It was dry, it was not served hot (warm), and it was tough with poor marbling. I'm going to hazard to say the cut was bad rather than the kitchen did not prepare it well, but honestly I've had 5oz cuts in similar caliber restaurants for far cheaper than this supplement with five times the flavor. This was the only miss of the whole night and not part of the main menu, so the menu can still be judged on its merits as outstanding. Unfortunately, for this course, 1-2/10.

Course 9: Yuzu Custard, Mint, Ceremonial Matcha

This palette cleanser was light, flavorful, the perfect intro to sweet, and made with gorgeous ceremonial-grade matcha (which I now vaguely can differentiate after dozens of matchas in Japan). This is the Speak Now album of tasting menus - the perfect transition between Mains (country) and Desserts (pop). 9/10.

Desserts:

Everything we were served was good, rich, and seasonal. Was it as diverse as some other dessert menus we've had? No. Was it still a series of hit after hit? Yes. Everything was very elevated, but felt casually delivered (in a good way) and focused, mimicking the elegant-but-relaxed feel of the whole dinner.

Dessert 1: Cocoa Crunch, Mezcal, Passion Fruit, Toasted Fluff

It's chocolate mousse, with chocolate accoutrements. It was good. It is mousse. You all know my thoughts on mousse. No numbers, just 'good!'

Dessert 2: Berry-Beet Tartlette, Verjus, Vanilla

Oh my god the TEXTURE. Amazing. Delightful! You expect 'maraschino cherry' and get 'gelatinous galaxy cake and floral salad medley'

Dessert 3: Bitter Chocolate Wafer, Pistachio, Sour Cherry Jam

Oh yay, more mousse. Tasty, light. But mousse.

Dessert 4: Caramelized Honey Bonbon, Almonds, Ginger, Rosemary

I couldn't eat fast enough to bite into this at the perfect moment, but the flavors and textures were clearly the peak of this dessert course. Think of a frozen cream puff left to thaw, except made out of spectacular ingredients, infused with notes of lavender and rose water (these are not in it but these are the notes I tasted). Wow, 9/10.

Dessert 5: Tres Leches, White Truffle

It's crunchy, it has truffle, therefore it was less accessible to me than other choices tonight. That being said, Tony gave it a 10/10, so it has the foodie badge of approval.

Final Thoughts:

This dinner was divine. I feel proud to be a Southern Californian able to experience such an amazing achievement in my own backyard, and share sincere congrats to Chef Bradley and team for their (long-overdue, based on friends' reports) third star. If you want pretention in fine dining, this is not for you. It is not an instagram name-drop, there are not iconic indoor backdrops to peep, the name recognition isn't there with TFL and Alinea - yet. But if you want a spectacular meal, delivered by earnest people, who have a love and passion for the local and international landscape and want to deliver it to you? Yes, come here. Overall thoughts, 9/10, but as with all things that is subjective. I loved my experience, I would return for the people alone (just maybe not the wagyu). It took me months to land this one, and it was very well worth it.

Happy Birthday again to my foodie partner in crime, Tony!

#jasmineway #finedining #sandiego #Addison #michelinstar

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jasmineway · 8 months

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Joel Roubouchon, Las Vegas // 9-1-2023

Well, it is a special occasion.

After a turn of major life events, I recently had the opportunity to experience a fine dining opportunity I had only imagined in the back-pages, which was a chance to experience the arguably best restaurant in Las Vegas and generally flagship location of the titular Chef of the Century in the US. While the Michelin Guide has not covered Las Vegas since 2009 or so, this restaurant had earned 3 while it had, thus, I still grant it the weight of its earned title. With that being said, here is my express take on a dining experience.

Arrival:

I should preface that I did not have the smoothest arrival, as our day had been complicated by flight delays, monsoon storms, airport and road flooding and construction traffic that cut out much of our relaxation and prep time and even cut our pre-dinner show. It is one thing to prepare for a lifetime experience at a relaxed pace; another entirely to have to change in the ladies room to shed your rain-soaked sneakers.

JR LV used to be known to send out a gold-plated stretch limousine to retrieve its guests not staying at the MGM grand; as noted above, my arrival was by foot, given my friend and I were already heavily delayed via a 1.5h+ length Uber ride from just down the strip due to the aforementioned complications. The restaurant's face is gorgeous -- towering rounded windows reminiscent of both Beverly Hills and Harry Potter -- however it is smack dab in the edge of a casino floor, next to the Ka theatre. While we were offered a slot up from our late night reservation last minute, we declined (30m notice was not enough time to get there), however were seated promptly upon arrival 10 minutes prior to our new reservation time.

We were initially seated in a secluded Green Room filled with fake hedges, and daytime outdoor lighting; as someone who had dressed in rich jewel tones to match the famous amethyst dining room, I was grateful that the staff quickly reseated us to join the warmth of the main event. I think the satellite space is perfect for couples or business partners seeking privacy, but personally, the harsh lighting and intense quiet would have significantly compromised the ambiance.

Service:

Overall, spectacular. Aside from the somewhat curt hostess (who remained gracious yet seemed mildly frustrated that we declined the earlier seating yet still arrived ten minutes early, and even more so that our welcoming butler expressed our desire to be moved...) every single person we interacted with did such a stellar job at convincing you that you personally made their evening delightful that for a moment you'd start believing it. Every single staff member treated us with courtesy and grace. No subtle disappointment at our non-drinking; nothing but warm smiles when asking for translations; polite, prompt, and attentive service; an earnest commitment to making all guests feel special. These are the things abstractly promised by fine dining but rarely delivered with the ease given here; a warmth I have not felt at such a caliber since TFL. My needs were rarely unnoticed, nor did I feel studied. My friend may have requested slightly more attention to their water glass.

Ambiance:

Once in the main dining room, perfect. I felt like a doll that had found herself inside a magic jewelry box; rich, lush violets everywhere; warm, maintained velvets; glittering golds and chandeliers without feeling overbearing (note: given my background, my personal barometer of 'exactly enough chandelier' may be more lenient than most). I am rarely one for modern art as a first choice and yet every piece was moving. The main walls hosted one piece with a figure atop concrete; another, bold, gigantic, canvas painted textured black with streaks of gold breaking through the void. Truly, it embodied the dining experience itself, shining through an otherwise dark and pouring day. The best way I can describe it (with humor, as a SoCal native with limited exposure to any such square footage) is 'all the pomp of the formal living room, with all the comfort of the family room.'

Presentation:

As you'll come to see, JR would not earn recognition for abstract plates, which should be recognized. They have classic, bespoke dishes and silverware (and I mean truly silverware) that compliment the meal but allow the food itself to shine. The food appears like food (for the most part) and the artistry is more through flavor and texture than evocative shape, though some dishes would shine just through sheer difficulty of plating alone (let alone the spectacular taste!). There's some dry ice, but overall, you're getting real food, on real plates, with real cutlery, and there are no mind games.

Course 0: Bread Service

We got the Degustation menu, which is the largest tasting menu JR currently offers. Originally they capped at 16, but our dinner featured 11 listed courses and 2 additional carts-courses (Bread Service and Tea) not endorsed but offered. The Mignardise (dessert) cart was listed. I would come to learn that JR loves Carts.

Our first cart was bread service, aka. the moment I transcended earth and entered a heaven in which all varieties from Basil to Saffron to Rosemary Garlic to Puff Pastry and Croissant were wheeled by for our selection. These were served alongside a separate Butter Cart in which what looked like an actual frosted cake of butter (flown in from France daily) sat next to the tastiest olive oil (flown in from Spain, less than daily) before being dolloped generously onto some serving dishes. I selected many, and took many half-eaten bites (only spared due to the 11 dishes) home as a midnight snack. I neglected to catch the butter, but got a photo of only the top of 3 racks of bread.

Course 1: Le Caviar Imperial

"Ossetra caviar served atop of lobster in a crustacean gelée dotted with cauliflower purée"

This is the only spoiler I had before dinner (as it was seeing a video of Executive Chef Christophe de Lille plating this that convinced me to experience JR in the first place) which is a travesty as I did not know of the existence of the JR chocolate souffle (guess I will have to return). It lived up to the hype. The visual presentation was stunning. The caviar, delicious. The gelee took me back to private parties in Russian restaurants with my high school bestie's family, yet this meat Jell-o was the first I've actually enjoyed. The lobster base slightly overpowered the caviar, though, which I feel was a missed opportunity to split them into two bites - with caviar so delicious and flavorful on its own, it felt like the seafood equivalent of serving wagyu with a thick peppercorn rub -- both of these go well together, but why drown a star ingredient? 9/10.

Course 2: La Tomate

"Tomato candies invigorated with gazpacho and lemon virgin olive oil"

I am a picky eater. I do not generally gravitate towards raw tomato. I generally find competing explosions of vegetable flavours overwhelming. And yet, I took delight in this vegetable course. Every single structure, filling and garnish was made of tomato. On the left, a clean slice, candied unto itself and glazed as if a creme brulee of pure flora welcomed the steak knife and fork. On the right, bonbons made of hallowed tomato filled with more tomato and gazpacho and topped with a crisp made of, you guessed it, tomato sat atop tomato puree adored with tomato accompaniments and tomato plant blossoms. And yet, I was not seeing red. Biting into the bonbons felt like mega-sized popping boba jellies; my brain was confused at the textures and flavors but impressed at the execution. 7/10 mainly due to my flavor prejudices.

Course 3: Le Poireaux

Grilled leeks, shaved foie gras, curls of Parmesan and wasabi whipped cream

This dish is 'a salad,' though I guess salad in the most metaphysical way in that there were greens but the star of the show really was the fois gras. You may be familiar with my conflicting feelings on the delicacy, but I can say one thing I was not in doubt of was the masterful execution in what was the greatest fois gras of my life. This course was to goose liver what wagyu is to regular steak. I have no notes. The serving was just right; the flavors, all in harmony. 10/10.

Course 4: La Langoustine

Seared a la plancha, zucchini, turmeric emulsion

Our server described this fish(?) as a hybrid between a prawn and a lobster, but what it was was delicious. I'm not sure the meat was the tastiest thing I've ever had, but the turmeric foam, carved nutty topping (was this zuchinni? it tasted like a nut?), and texture profile made it excellent and delightful if not slightly over-served. This was the first course in which I felt like my utensil options might have been slightly sub-optimal for the dish served, but still, overall delightful. 8/10.

Course 5: Le Homard

Poached Maine lobster, sugar snap peas, creamy polenta, spicy shellfish and ginger jus

Ah, the actual lobster. Also served impressively in yet another foam. I want to recognize the chefs for taking what has become a meme of the fine dining world and actually creating emulsions and foams that push the boundaries of what a soup or au jus could be. The sugar peas were delightful; the ginger notes, excellent. The lobster itself was ever the slightest bit chewy for me, but I am not a fan of lobster on its best day. 6/10 by fine dining standards only in an otherwise great meal.

Course 6: "Le Saumon*"

I am not sure we actually got this dish, as our server mentioned something about the dashi flakes typically served with it as containing an allergen and the words "sea bass" came out with our supposed replacement. My souvenier menu will still cite salmon, so, alas. This dish was delicious, inoffensive, and unmemorable. 8/10.

Course 7: La Canette

Spit-roasted duck with five spices and sour cherries

Ah, the duck. How do I count the ways...? I have had many birds, from chicken to geese to pheasant and quail; and generally find myself least excited to see a duck menu outside of Thai cuisine. That being said, I moseyed right into one of the tastiest single tasting courses of my life. The meat was excellent. It was duck, but it wasn't Duck, as its gamey companions of finer meals past had led me to anticipate. It was duck of the highest order, both Red Meat and Bird in one fell... flutter? The dark cherry compote and bites delivered a surprising yet immediately ah-ha pairing the likes of which I haven't experienced since throwing some pomegranate onto pumpkin pancakes during grad school. This duck joins Providence's wagyu bite as a just-as-surprising pinnacle of tasting menu execution, a true 10/10.

(side note, they did, in fact, give me the right utensils for this one)

Course 8: Le Joue de Boeuf Wagyu

Braised beef cheeks with red miso and eggplant caviar

Listen, I know that they sourced genuine likely Japanese high grade Wagyu beef. I know they painstakingly cooked the beef cheeks to perfection. I admired the root vegetables that seemingly crowned the dish. However, be it a combination of exhaustion from some other slightly excessively generous preceding portions, or my own recollection of certain enemies from The Last of Us, I could not get behind the beef mousse that was served to me for this one.

I just couldn't do it. The texture was that of a cafeteria mashed potato, which is distinctive, as it was served with the actual famous Joel Roubouchon Mashed Potato, a dish that had the consistency of the fluffiest cream-of-wheat and is notably 50:50 potato and butter. I'm not sure if if it was just too much, or it felt like foraging a wooden fungi, or even the bleeding appearance, but I had to leave half behind in anticipation of dessert, and I have no regrets.

I think it suffered from the same thing as the caviar earlier, in which a sublime ingredient was lost in a sea of equally impressive and yet somehow lesser-than-its-parts competing flavor profiles.

Course 9: La Fraise

Harry’s Berries sorbet with basil granita

There is nothing quite like welcoming the fall season with the last bastion of summer confusingly yet amusingly plated atop a bed of dry ice, giving your summertime ice cream finale the conflicted evocation of a Halloween cauldron. This dessert was fine. I was overall impressed with the delightful flavor and texture, and was tickled to see the 'grass' underneath was shaved ice, seemingly also made of both strawberry and basil. I LOVED the candied (possibly freeze-dried?) berry bits underneath. The flowing smoke was a cute touch. I love double-walled glass bowls. But were the textures all they could be? This dish could be improved with a crumble, or a pillowy textured something underneath. 7/10 because the simple yet nearly flawless sorbet had its texture challenged by a less than pleasant bed of ice.

Course 10: Le Papillon

Smooth hazelnut milk chocolate crémeux and praliné ice cream

My friend was obsessed with this one, and I was ambivalent. The cremeux was tasty, yet homogenous; the hazelnut flavor rich, fresh, yet lost in once-again what I felt (in the desserts) was a lack of commitment to texture. The candy lace was made with such perfection it almost felt fake, stamped, and less like the painstaking golden-pearl-dust monstrosity my inner baking enthusiast knows it to be. This was a perfectly serviceable and pretty dessert. But it reminded me too much of neon beta aquariums, and I felt it would have been dramatically enhanced with the offering of tea or coffee before its delivery (this would follow, and I certainly could have asked). 6/10 but I want to give it bonus points for the gorgeously sculpted bonsai tree branch in the edible biosphere. For creativity and visual, much higher.

I will note my own bias for both these desserts that I am usually a fan of the hot / cold contrast, thus love my hot crumbles a la mode and my sorbets with a side of biscuit or cake. Maybe these bites were just too pure for my tasting in that moment (also a side effect of aforementioned slightly too generous portions from the 'savory' categories).

Course 11: Tea, Surprise Birthday 'Cake,' and Chariot de Mignardises

At some point after Papillion we were offered our choice of tea (from a listing of Black, Green, and notably White) via verbal description and soon came delivered a perfect delicate tea steeped exactly right that was almost a Silver Needle in profile but nearly certainly a steeped Jasmine (+/- actual tea). I will say I noticed an herb cart up front that others cited as the source of teas usually snipped and steeped at tableside, and we seemed to be moving through our dinner at a faster pace than most other diners. We don't drink, and while we likely could have asked for longer pauses between courses, I did feel ever so slightly rushed in that tastings were not given room to breathe... as quickly as a plate would be retrieved, another soon replaced it, arriving via silver platter, staged nearby and served meticulously in unison with a team of suited waiters.

Not to say anyone actively rushed us... but, I envied slightly the laid back gossip of the tables surrounding us--our plates came so quick we barely had a chance to speak and enjoy (though we of course, very much, enjoyed!). Just upon leaving and realizing we'd breezed through a meal most describe as taking 3-4 hours in just two and a half, we felt it.

We had a quick kitchen tour in which I gushed over Chef de Lille himself and the pastry team before saying goodbye to one of our many spectacular hosts of the night, Andrew (the expert charge on 'make us feel like he's actually delighted to have us'). After which, upon returning to our table, one of the gigantic silver platters came by bearing a gorgeous gigantic chocolate sculpture next to which was a sparkly decoration and a small and beautifully decorated birthday cake. The cake, they told us, was for me; the sculpture, for show. What we were served was a perfectly tiny bite of said cake (we laughed, yes, The Cake in its entirely would be absurd) made of guava, passionfruit, and the unique choice to replace buttercream with perfectly baked hard crusted meringues.

Finally, the famous Dessert Cart. I did not know of this much before friends told me of social media reels boasting its offerings. We made strategic selections as to not seem too greedy but later would see the diners around us held no such reservations and appropriately piled their platter to their hearts content given that every petit four, eclair, bonbon and cake was made fresh daily and thus, would have gone to waste otherwise. This was one of the most visually striking and undeniably tasty aspects of the meal and I am still sad I did not have the courage to call back and request an addition perusal for the ample room my dessert stomach had managed to conjure. 9/10 only because this stage too felt ever the tiniest bit truncated.

Conclusion:

Joel Roubouchon is an old school, yet not in any way outdated, tenement to classical French fine dining. Each dish is executed with love and care for both the ingredients, the guest, and the art of cooking itself--no envelope-pushing of molecular gastronomy was missed in a mealtime so generously adorned with delicious, perfectly flavored cooking. I would assume today, the reviewers at Michelin may dare to suggest 2* only perhaps due to the current trend in favor of US restaurants posing more difficult questions to its diners, with a greater emphasis on geometry than classic, simple foods made extraordinary, but from me, it's a 3-star, with perfection from nearly every front except for perhaps our pacing. I don't doubt a return visit would shine even brighter, as I now know of the existence of a souffle, and of my own preference for a longer pause between bites. The hospitality, kindness and warmth went a long way to elevate an already spectacular selection of foods. Until next time.

#JoelRoubouchon #finedining #JasmineWay #JazzReviews #LasVegas #JoelRoubouchonLasVegas #FrenchFood #MichelinStar #3*

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jasmineway · 10 months

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Alinea // 4-24-2023

The story of the most Haute Couture fine dining experience I have yet to have had, in northern-downtown Chicago, IL. Enjoyed with Astrid. 3*.

Arrival:

An unassuming black door, in a residential neighborhood, just north of the “true” Downtown per our Lyft driver on the way. We were slightly late due to an unexpected gigantic dental conference that had taken over the city, and the restaurant publishes no phone number - their email is the only way to let them know you’re late. Nonetheless, when we arrived 20 minutes past seating time, the staff immediately welcomed me, checked my coat, and reported that they knew about my knee and were happy to let us explore the full length of our dinner at “any pace that’s yours” which I thought was thoughtful wording. The entryway was narrow and cold, despite the warm staff; they couldn’t get a photo that wasn’t cut off (not their fault, but was the first of many signs that unlike French Laundry, this restaurant is a high-end choice frequented by regulars, not Special Event-ees). (Of note, we dined on an unassuming Monday, so this may be a consequence of that choice. Big ‘Old Money’ energy in the room).

Seating:

Astrid and I partook in the “Salon at Alinea” experience — the “main” dining room on the second floor, but by far the most formal one — the “Kitchen Table” (one party, in a glass ‘fishbowl’ just within the kitchen) and “Gallery” seatings (on the first floor just beyond it) both felt claustrophobic and informal, with harsh lighting, and more casual energy, despite their additional courses. We were seated in a half-booth with a free edge - an odd choice, as nearly every other seat in the restaurant had a ‘closed edge’ bumper-style half-booth (aka one plush seat on one side, with a booth with ‘walls’/a ‘side’ opposite)— but I soon discovered this was an intentional placement such that my right side was free for a conveniently-always-available usher to appear the moment I set my napkin down, in order to offer assistance standing and escort me to and open the doorway for the ladies room. This was extremely convenient, and at first I thought he was always stationed nearby — but one of our hostesses Rebecca later commented humorously on the number of rises I had during my meal and apparently she would hand signal my movements with subtlety and precision such that someone was always immediately there. Interesting, but Something.

Service:

The welcoming team and coat check girls were all young, effervescent, and sweet, going out of their way to reassure and welcome. Our servers were somewhat more formal. Our main host of the evening was freshly here from Marseille just six months prior, and was formal but polite. You could see his brow furrowing trying to recalculate each time a plate was not wiped clean, as if he had never met anyone with Astrid’s tasting appetite (truly, my grandmother would be proud — a truly lady!) and determined to adjust surgically. Our main hostess, Rebecca, was much more light — armed with bold snaking earrings, she quickly adapted her demeanor from elegant to casual with a measured warmth that seemed genuinely touched by our novelty of experience. Her inquiries of our ‘incomplete’ plates came from a place of determination to find The Thing that would make a meal accessible to Few, accessible to Anyone. This included gentle adaptation of both the demeanor, and the meal. One guy who was not our main host did stare us down determined to re-explain several times that a particular dish was meant to be swallowed whole, to which I had to insist that my friend prefers Tasting rather than Finishing each course for him to go away. Rebecca overheard this and made that joke (with the phrasing, which I stole) herself. Five stars for her.

Ambiance:

Darkness… seriously, this place was dark. Aside from a single tapered candle at each table, there appeared to be little illumination in the windowless Salon floor, and while it was beautiful it also felt moody, like the audience. Our experience while pleasant did feel uncanny valley — everyone seemed like they were in a routine or slightly-off fog, like Halloweentown during that sequel in which things slowly turned black-and-white and less fun due to a curse. It felt clear that we were the only diners there on our first visit. Thankfully the staff seemed to lift at this prospect, offering extra smiles and attention, but it was a bit weird. As part of our journey, an ornamental snuffer (name?) was delivered to put out the candle. No significance was afforded this, and the rest of the meal was enjoyed in relative darkness. Thank god for my iPhone’s night mode.

I cannot overstate how Weird the evening felt. We learned during the kitchen tour (not included, but a special accommodation because we asked) that the restaurant only uses computers for reservation bookings through Tock and communications with guests about special needs - everything else is communicated verbally or handwritten down like little love letters from the upstairs to below. Every single dish has to travel up a steep and somewhat perilous staircase. Every single time I used the bathroom, somebody was informed via paper card downstairs or knowing brow signal upstairs. Like, don’t get me wrong, it’s an impeccable machine—but definitely a Machine. Compared to TFL (my only other true 3* seating, vs. my Jean-Georges finesse with a ‘2-course’ $45 power lunch in 2013), which had similar great service but felt much more organic, and at home. It wasn’t as surgically precise, but it felt more homely, like a dinner from a passionate but laid-back host (a true accomplishment, if the stories about Thomas Keller’s less playful moods are a foil). I think I would have described the night as an air of ‘delicate unease’ — Chris would later accurately pin down the vibe as ‘vaguely threatening.’

Everyone I shared this experience with (including when reporting back later) referenced The Menu (2022) organically, and there was more than one occasion where I felt suspiciously studied. This was not helped by my sudden realization of an orchestral arrangement of “I’m Not Okay” by My Chemical Romance early in our dinner. I did not put it past them to have researched me on Instagram.

Presentation:

My god, r/WeWantPlates wants in on this. Some of the food was straightforward. Some of the food looked violent. Some of the food involved the timely removal of a sharp needle and immediate throwing of said needle-containing dish with urgency in order to ‘experience it right.’ Multiple courses involved actual surgical tools. I had plates with holes in them, hidden courses in my table decor, ritualized candle-killing with seemingly no significance, and an air of expectation as if the staff thought we knew what we had signed up for. They do not publish nor let you preview the evening’s menu—everything accommodates stated no-go’s and from there you are at their mercy. Again, this may have been to the building full of regulars. Details notable in the photos.

I feel like it is important to note going forward that the titles and inspiration for the courses were rarely shared with us, until the conclusion of the experience.

Pairing:

Declined, as neither Astrid nor I are big on drink. I did request a cocktail and was informed that the kitchen only stocks waters of still, sparkling, plus wines and champagne. I asked if a Coke was available and told that could be accommodated. It was served in a wine glass filled to the brim with large ice. Points for giant cup, minuses for poor ice shape without a novelty (it wasn’t pre-boiled to justify a gauche shape). 5/10 as I need a bitter cocktail as a palette cleanser (typically sprite + mint + cranberry), but they did find me a soft drink.

Course 1: Nacre (note: no amuse bouche)

“Ostera, Mussel, Lychee”

To welcome our evening, we were asked to offer our non-dominant hand, in which a large, heavy glass art piece was placed filled to the brim with caviar with a texture meant to “be experienced by your hand at the same time as your mouth.”* Our scooping utensil was pure Mother of Pearl. The tastiest caviar of my life, and the lychee was the perfect fresh burst in an otherwise brulee-worthy creme base. The glass beading at the bottom made music when met by the instrument, announcing the end of this bite with a encouraging melody. 10/10.

*This is not the first time presenting notes would be disarmingly intimate, even if aromantic.

Course 1.5: Secret Course, Unlisted

No official description

‘Hot and Cold,’ or alternatively, ‘Potato, Potahto.’ This course seemed to be an obsession of the Bonus Server mentioned above, and was served on a needle penetrating a small disc levitating a kabob of hot bits (primarily, potato) meant to pulled through to fall into the cold bits (an emulsion of, evidently, potato). I cannot overstate how passionately the gentleman wanted us to pull the pin and eat this at the “urgent moment” in order to experience “the play of temperature,” a phrase he used surely no less than six times. He even brought Astrid an alternate (made of the same thing, it did not include dairy per my taste buds and seemingly confirmed by a confused but politely accommodating Rebecca who seemed more keen to appease the guest server’s fear of coldness than wanting to avoid correcting him publicly) while fretting that the experience would be diminished by the lack of a single gulp. I gently suggested that her peckishness was normal and to be accepted after which our service was more smooth.

Reflecting now, I realize that the release of Hot felt familiar less like pulling out an earring (for the wearer, this motion is backwards) but rather, the pulling of a pin from a grenade. “Vaguely threatening” or “outright violent,” indeed.

8/10 — Lost points for aggression, the real risk of injury, and wartime provocations — otherwise stellar due to somehow maximizing the amount of Potato that could be contained within More Potato. I love potato literally and spiritually, so 8/10.

Course 2: Plume

“Atlantic Black Sea Bass Crisps, Ashed Onion Dip, Mint”

Ah, “The Ashtray.” Unwitnessed at the table, but captured only due to our proximity to the upstairs host stand: the team had created a cigarette made of a dried and cured onion, which they would light on fire, allow to glow, then tap the “ashes” into a fondue-looking, french-onion-soup tasting emulsion served in a literal vintage ashtray and served at the table side with a basket of individually-packed fried fishy-sliver crisps for us to use as a vehicle for tasting. It smelled like my mother’s hugs from my childhood, without the bronchospasm. The fish appeared raw but tasted fully-cooked. It paired with a dollop of a different-textured but mirrored-tasting liquid on the plate. Excellent leverage of flavor and texture (so much variety from one core ‘taste’), but points lost due to the ick factor and childhood trauma. 6/10.

Course 3: Heads and Tails

“Bun, Coriander, Chili White Peppercorn, White Sesame, White Miso”

Aka: Oh, the seaweed is actually not meant to be edible. This meal was served with shrimps hidden in some suspiciously-fresh-seeming seaweed (we are thousands of miles from the nearest ocean, and I’m not sure what’s more Alinea of them—shipping in daily, or raising their own? Side note ‘Alinea’ is officially replacing ‘extra’ in my vocabulary for the rest of this meal) that you are meant to hand crust in a pinch pot full of spices that they shared came from Thomas Keller’s personal garden, or something to that effect. They weirdly noted that the shrimp tails were not meant to be eaten, a weird addition if not for later courses demonstrating that ‘typically inedible’ will not always apply to future accompaniments.

On the side was a ‘bun’ that appeared like pretzel bread, had the flavor of Distinctively Seafood, and the mouthfeel of a microwaved dinner roll. I did not like it, but felt the bottom-glaze of spicy mayo did it favors.

This course was when I learned that Astrid has a shellfish allergy, something she had not noted to me before (I knew of her low-dairy, cooked-with-okay), but the team promptly replaced her shrimp with a candied sweet potato that had the texture of a non-sticky turkish delight. The potato was truly routine at elevation, the shrimp was tragically overcooked and gummy. 7/10 potato, 2/10 shrimp ball and weird shrimp bread you will not convince me was Actual bread. Bizarre without payoff.

Course 4*: Hot Potato

“Cold Potato, Black Truffle, Parmesan”

Whoops, this was our secret course *1.5 from above! Likely served to us ‘early’ due to our tardy arrival and clearly obsessive devotion to deliverance of this course at the prompt moment of existence. Well, at least I can confirm some of the ingredients. The parmesan was a garnish on the spear, and had been omitted from Astrid’s.

Course 5: Squeaker

“Potpourri, Pear, Foie Gras, Aigre-Doux”

Picture a thurible swinging in motion up a Catholic mass aisle; the bird scissors iconic for bluebird freedom in Over the Garden Wall; an Easter basket opened with enthusiasm on an April morning; the fine, but aged ornamental metalware seen in grandmother’s china cabinet. This is the aesthetic of this course, which was revealed to be at our table all along with a dramatic removal of the (presumably dead, very on theme) dried flowers from the metal swan on our table.

Our server arrived initially with just an empty bowl with bird legs, and a Faberge egg emitting potpourri smoke. The basket contained a greasy paper bag with delightfully rich biscuit-scones (think the ‘coo-nut’ of the two) and two jars housing a house-made blueberry compote and accompanying foie grois. The hexagonal jars were ceremonially placed in the empty leg bowl but the biscuits left to us to retrieve with doomed-to-be-greasy manicured fingers. I appreciate the social commentary of foie grois served in a metal swan, a grim reminder of the violent means by which medium birds are torture-fed with metal instruments (the dish is outlawed in Los Angeles), but if my year in anatomy lab is any testament my appreciation of the technicality of a presentation stops when it interferes with my mealtimes. The gras was liquidity in texture, but worked miraculously with the compote on the tastiest buttered scone I have every enjoyed — I believe ‘Aigre-Doux’ refers to the sweet and sour contrast of the two flavors.

Truly immaculate triumph of flavor that is so strong the forced soiling of hands without offered wet towel and jarring reminder of the inherent violence of such a flavor can only bring it down to 9/10 (come to think of it, maybe that above was the point, in which case begrudgingly 10/10).

Course 6: Explosion

“Black Truffle, Romaine, Parmesan”

Two items;

First, a dumpling-flavored envelope, shaped like a baby quiche, with the texture of a frozen-potsticker envelope that had heated unevenly in the microwave but housing a perfectly gooey hot-red-bean-bun-textured inward made of, you guessed it, an explosion of molten black truffle. They warned us to “seal your lips tight” before biting, once again aromantically intimate. Astrid did Not care for this one. I usually don’t care for truffle myself but found it the best enjoyed of my limited experiences. It was A Lot. Lifting the spoon revealed our plate was in fact, a ring, and much like this restaurant one that could Lift Up, but not provide rest. Shock because there’s really no excuse for such a terrible outer texture, but great points afforded for nailing a version of truffle I could enjoy; 6/10.

Second, a glass cage, made of three candied leaves of lettuce, carrot, and some other green. It seemed to bleed on the plate, and opened to reveal sturgeon, on a bed of something black with the texture of a spinach-artichoke dip but a flavor much more woodsy and nutty than that. It was the best game I have ever cared to enjoy, both flavor and texture. However, I felt like I had scavenged a murder scene to violate a tomb. Spectacular flavor and presentation but impossible to enjoy on a single forkful, with losses to mouthfeel due to needing to ‘pocket’ individual elements like a patient avoiding meds. For making me feel like a chipmunk, 7.5/10.

Course 7: Jacob’s Ladder

“Pomegranate, White Asparagus, Jameed”

The wagyu course. It was tasty, but they had done so much to overwhelm the steak piece with flavors and infusions that it was impossible to recognize its core component. Paired with an incredible pomegranate and rhubarb reduction, and dusted with the (finally revealed, forebodingly present yet as of yet unacknowledged) large egg that had stared us down for the prior few courses (it turned out to be a semi-solidified dried shelf-stable stone made of sheep’s milk which Hope correctly identified by that description alone as an Arabic staple!). A winner with Astrid, but how could you drown out Wagyu such that it could have been replaced with literally anything? 9/10.

Course 8: Paint

“Flavors of a Banana Split”

There was one allergy I hadn’t listed in my inquiries, as I had noted even raw honey due to the possibility of a wayward encapsulated bee. It didn’t seem relevant, yet I would come to laugh with Astrid as our tablecloth was replaced with rubber and a balloon would come to arrive (thankfully, silicone). A chef performed table side to paint an explosion of cherry, waffle crumb, vanilla, and chocolate sauce. He followed with a smoking ball of white pumice, which turned out to be edible aerogel in the form of weightless, freeze-dried banana ice cream—which was promptly smashed. He finished this with a flourish! (hear this from the Magic Show episode of WandaVision) of cherry glitter, god knows what that’s made of. As we scooped up the fruity-wet memories of dip-n-dots summers, another server arrived…

…bearing two clear balloons on strings extended to us by way of hemostat (thankfully, candy). The balloons were green-apple flavored taffy, made thin and translucent and twisted into a bubble and ’string’ after inflation with helium in-house (as we’d see on the Kitchen Tour we’d later finagle, this by far seemed the most consumptive ask of the evening, requiring the majority of the kitchen to execute safely). We were asked to “kiss” the balloon to trap it and “breathe it in” — which would prove to transform diners into chipmunks in a funny nod to the squirrel comment earlier.

“Did you get enough helium, Astrid?” “Uhm, no~”

This is what broke us. Delighted to have found a course Astrid seemed to love (dessert, relatable), hearing her cynical no in a voice Alvin himself would be envious of made us both burst out laughing in a fit that would be incurable until the conclusion of the dinner. I followed suit, and we both cracked up insatiably at the absurdity and humor of the evening. The tension and irony was multilayered (Jazz is allergic to latex! This should be a non issue at a fine dining dinner. Oh great we made it to dessert! Oh, wait, the table is now rubberized! Oh wait, the staff is now presenting a balloon! But joy! The balloon and rubber both of which are typically made with latex are in fact, Not That! Huzzah!) (Surgical tools such as these are typically used for holding things apart! But they bear a sticky taffy that will bind and superglue everything it comes in contact with, including teeth! Oops, it caught on a wine glass. Oh thank god it caught on a wine glass and not the next lateral destination, Jazz’s hair! Why wouldn’t they warn us so I could tie my hair up beforehand? Are they secretly hoping it would get caught?!) (Wait, don’t we have a helium shortage that is literally non-renewable? We use these for MRIs and spectroscopy right? I bet they use this not just for novelty but also to keep the liquid nitrogen cool, I remember this from OChem NMR labs… wait).

But, in the spirit of rating each step as an in-and-of-itself, one cannot deny dessert a 10/10. It was a mastery of innovation, both in presentation, awe, spectacle (the glitter!), as well as captioning a meal that was markedly uncomfortable yet confident in its cynical reflection on the world and its audience.

Conclusion:

By the end, I felt that I was laughing with, rather than at, by, Alinea. Yes, the world is dying. Yes, this couture meal is built on the back of instrumented fowl, instrumented kitchen staff, instrumented whimsy, and instrumental music. Yes, we have forced you to confront Pollution (cigarette) and Waste, as if Chef saw The Black Parade and decided War and Death needed culinary siblings. Yes, Actual Helium, as twice nightly this finite resource dwindles even further in deliverance of a symbol of childhood joy, purposefully handed with sterile instruments to diners markedly averse to partaking in its silliness, a social commentary on the drainage of resources for those who don’t even use them as a mark of wealth and status. Stab your sad balloon, how grand to allow this invisible priceless gold to evaporate forever, just because you can. Laugh, naive diners, as you realize with horror how routine this has become for those around you as they do not react to the big reveal. Here is a peek behind the curtain, because you have acquiesced to our rules and can play with us, once. Are you sure you want to stay?

This was by far the most innovative meal I have ever had in my life, and the team should triumph in the wake of their precision. The creation, delivery, and accuracy were unmatched. The gimmicks, incredible, their nature notwithstanding. The flavors, incredible.

And yet, //

I never want to experience this again.

- J, 4/25/23

#JasmineWay #FoodBlog #Alinea #chicago #3Star

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