jenefer376-blog

[jenefer376-blog]

End of my rope

Saw the doctor today. My fibro is worse, PA is the same, but I have new issues, like hemi-facial spasms. Those are so painful. Feels like the entire left side of my face is being stabbed. Still the same amount of meds, same amount of feeling like crud and being beyond exhausted. Wish I could have one day of feeling good that I wouldn’t regret the next day. Still can’t work, which sucks. Would like to be able to so I could actually pay bills and not worry about being homeless soon. Last thing I need is more stress. 

And I know this sounds silly and unimportant, but there’s no way I can afford a present for Brielle’s 2nd birthday. I’ve got a 1 1/2 months to come up something. Was planning on getting her one of those kitchen sets by Step2 or Little Tikes because she loves to play with pots and pans and “help” me cook and bake. Since she is deaf in one ear and has the hearing aid, we don’t do toys that are too noisy, but I think a kitchen would’ve been great for her. I know she won’t remember but it makes me feel horrible. I don’t even want to think about Christmas because that’s going to be even more depressing. 

Thankfully Shadow is here to help lift my spirits. She’s the best dog ever....and that’s another thing I feel bad about. If I become homeless, where is she going to go? I can’t imagine life without her but she deserves a warm home and people who can provide her with food. Ugh, that made me cry just thinking about not having Shadow around. 

I know it sounds like I’m whining, I’m really not. I’m just so tired of all these obstacles. I just needed to vent and what better place to vent than a blog that no one probably reads or cares about? So now that I’m done venting, think I’ll blast some music that makes me smile, wipe away the tears, and watch Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure for some laughs. 

#depression #hate life #fibro sucks #psoriatic arthritis #music #taylor swift #taylor nation #justin timberlake #keanu reeves #i love my dog #proud mom #demi lovato #selena gomez #bruno mars #phil collins #drake #little tikes #step2 #hard of hearing #hearing aids