jisunwithtaeandkookie

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

I like this.

In a perfect world, we would embrace each other like our existence was so fragile we couldn't keep ourselves from kissing each other. In a perfect world, the words I write you would be enough for you to say you like me too, without hesitance or overthinking. In a perfect world, we would be closer enough to share our deepest secrets and greatest dreams, just for us to keep them safe in the back of our minds. In a perfect world, I wouldn't be afraid to write you a letter, because I would be sure I was not being played like a fool. In a perfect world, we would have exchanged words and touches, and we wouldn't have to wait for timing to be right. In a perfect world, I would be special to you and not just a way for you to kill time. In a perfect world, every single thing we say to each other really has meaning, and we would fall in love. In a perfect world, I wouldn't be insecure and overwhelmed, so you could just try to fit you hand in mine. In a perfect world, I would tell you all those things, at least one day.

But in this real world, I'm the one who compromises my pride just to show you how much I care, and, in the middle of the night, I keep wondering what kind of idea you have of me. In this real world, I'm the one so unlucky I can't stand a single change, and I have to watch you slip through my fingers like water. In this real world, I'm scared enough to hide from what makes defenceless, but I can't help feeling hopeless. In this real world, I try my hardest but it is just never good enough, and that's what leaves me broken. In this real world, despite all of this, I still hope for you to appreciate me the way I am. In this real world, I expect you would write letters about me, too, but I know you are just not good with words.

#^^ #hehe~ #it has a softness in its emotions #the words seep into your heart and #make you cry with a big smile on your face

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Some people don't care even if you're dead, tbh. Sadly, these people make up 95% of all my friends I've had to date. I wish instant karma existed for me. Or any sort of karma, tbh. Those people are freakin' enjoying their lives rn...as if they did nothing. Where IS justice?

People don't care as long as youre not killing yourself. You can suffer forever but you're not allowed to end it all. I hate it here.

#ppl tell me to let it go #i don't think I'm that sort of person tho #angel/devil - why do one when you can do both? #you messed with an Aries babe #you messed up BIG TIME

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Aish I love this tag so much!! A huge thanks to @bangtanfancamp for tagging me! This is the kinda tag that I like 🥺😄💕

This is a conspiracy.

First of all, I LOVE the dress. It is my favorite type of dress. It also happens to be in line with my exact aesthetic - yes, I am a real fairy. (No I won't grant your wishes rn, I'm not in the mood these days.) So what I mean is that...not only would I like to wear it for the sake of this game, I would also like to wear it on my actual wedding. Yes, please.

Okay, now. Who THE FVCK said it had to be the eighth picture exactly??? Cuz I already said it - this is a conspiracy against me, okay? The pictures in my gallery went like - Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi, Jungkook - Like... wtf?! Who decided on eight?!? I wanna know, okay?! I bet you're smiling rn, you cheeky son of a-

All things aside...damn it, I say yes. At least I got him somewhere. Anything for him...he is my prince.

Anyone who wants to do this is welcome!

Google “Wedding Dress [# of followers]” and the very first dress that appears is what you’ll wear to your wedding + the 8th idol photo in your gallery is who you’ll be marrying!

Thank you so much for the tag @palpalopaloma 🥺💕💝💗✨

The eighth one is.... jungkook. I'm. I'm very much going through it since swz 😔 I have so many different feelings for this kid like. It's so confusing.

Ok now the dress. I am in love with the wedding dress, it's gorgeous I would 100% be delighted to wear that. It's so perfect like. It's unlikely that I will ever get married -not for lack of willingness on my part- but if I ever did, I would be looking for a dress like this one. This colour. This fit. It's *mwah*👌

Tagging @starlightindeepestnight @btsbias @mean-sugar @hey-itsmina @formysakeamaryllis @ccypher3

#tag game #this was fun mostly bcz both the results came out to be exactly what I wanted #and I didn't even have to cheat #is this serendipity? #or should I say....euphoria? #lololol #don't laugh at me I'm just really happy #bangtanfancamp #you made my day #thank you so much

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

AHHHSBXBXKSK JESUS CHRIST WHY TF IS THIS POST LITERALLY EVERYWHERE ON MY FEED MAKE IT STOP

ALL IN BLACK BTS X SAMSUNG ARE COMING FOR US!! ARMY BREATHE!! BREAAA *FAINTS*

#!!!!!!!!!! #I can't even #literally everyone is reblogging this shit #I am dead here guys #ffs Jeon #and you too Park Jimin #can you two not chill for one freaking second?! #let me live T_T

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Wait, what? Why-

If you think that it‘s all over

Just imagine when you sleep

There‘s this place that’s filled with flowers

Where you and I will meet...

- thedreaming-poet

#i didn't even get the notif for it #this is absolutely beautiful #it makes my heart sing #instantly put me in a much much better spot #highlight of today #I'ma go cry in a corner now bye

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Was in desperate need of this today. Life feels so burdensome sometimes, really. Just know that even if you feel like you're alone, there is always something good to look forward to. A day is not good because everything went according to plan, but because you lived it as you truly would. Cheer up just for today, and come back tomorrow and read this again.

My therapist asked me to create something “motivating” so I made these.

lol.

#hey there it's v #feeling very lonely and hence down #i found this on my homepage so why not #cheer everyone else as well as me #if i am not alone #you all aren't either #all for each other

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Task : Describe yourself with photos you already have. You can't download or search for new ones. Tag 10 friends.

Tagged by : @bangtanfancamp lolol thank you for tagging me!! This was really interesting to do 💖🤪🤧

Tagging : Any living or dead being who wants to do this. 😌😌

task: describe yourself with photos you already have. you can’t download or search for new ones. tag 10 friends

tagged by: @hobi-gif

tagging: @wwilloww @bangtanfancamp @bangtanbookcase @dee-ehn @btsaudge and anyone else who wants to do it (tag me pls I wanna get to know ppl!) as always feel free to ignore, especially if you’ve done this already and I totally just missed your post on the dash

#took me an hour to find something appropriate #tf even is my gallery #why is it all Jungkook #fml

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Photo card selfie tag!

Tagged by : @bts-fantasy 💖🥺

Tagging : Anyone who would like to do it, ofc! 💕💕😄

photocard selfie tag!

tagged by: @cinanamon (ily 🥺)

tagging: @bangtanfancamp, @kkulmoon, @diortae, @fantasybangtan (only if you guys want to do it ofc 💞)

#bruh #choosing pics is a pain in the back #totally didn't spend a whole hour on this again #it's kinda a face reveal as well? #lolol hey this is v

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

TAG GAME~~☆☆

Rules : Bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

Tagged by : @bangtanfancamp thank you for tagging me!! 💖💖

AIR: I have small hands [NOTE : Kind of? I don't know]/ I love the night sky / I watch animals and birds when I pass them by / I drink herbal tea / I wake to see the dawn [NOTE : I am usually awake till the dawn lol]/ The smell of dust is comforting / I’m valued for being wise [NOTE : I think I'm wise but people haven't told me that]/ I prefer books to music / I meditate / I find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

WATER: I don’t have straight hair / I like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / I play an organized sport / I love dogs (and cats)  / I am not afraid of adventure / I love to talk to strangers / I always try new foods / I enjoy road trips / Summer is my favorite season / My radio is always playing

FIRE: I wear bracelets on my wrists / I love the bustle of the city / I have more than one set of piercings / I read poetry / I love the sound of a thunderstorm / I want to travel the world / I sleep past midday most days / I love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / I re-watch kids shows out of nostalgia / I see emotions in colors not words [NOTE : I see them in both]

EARTH: I wear glasses or contacts / I enjoy doing the laundry / I am a vegetarian or vegan / I have an excellent sense of time / My humor is very cheerful / I am a valued adviser to my friends / I believe in true love / I love the chill of mountain air / I'm always listening to music [NOTE : Almost] / I am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER: I go without makeup in my daily life / I make my own artwork / I keep on track of my tasks and time / I always know true north / I see beauty in everything / I can always smell flowers [NOTE : I can always see flowers] / I smile at everyone I pass by / I always fear history repeating itself / I have recovered from a mental disorder/ I can love unconditionally

Tagging : @bierangtamen @betysotelo18 and any others who want to do it!

#hey there it's v babbling #this was fun #해보세요!! #✨✨

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Ooh! I got tagged! Yey yey~~~!!!

Okay, so uhm...the five things I love about me are :

1. My childlike personality

2. My eyes

3. My deep understanding of words, and my relationship with them

4. My beautiful soprano voice...nah, lol. Jk. My sense of humor.

5. My authenticity. The way I see the world. How deeply I feel.

6. If I am able to make you smile, I like the way I do it.

Like I made you smile...by adding one extra thing in my list..maybe?

My contacts on Tumblr are tagged already, so...anyone else who wants to do it is welcome! ^^ hehe. Thanks again!! 💜💜

Heyyy! Once you get this you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly, then send it to ten of some of your favorite followers! Spread positivity❤

Saber that’s so sweet of you 🥺

1. I can rap Satisfied kind of well?

2. My voice.

3. My art skills.

4. Writing ability.

5. My all-around Hufflepuffiness :)

And I’m starting the tagging off with you @sabersketchz! And then @iliveunderarock, @citadelofowls, @infinitiesdonotlastforever, @snowflake-apocalypse, @thereddreadedbaroness, @sunshinehp15, @rainbowcelin, @just-a-little-bit-of-sugar, and everyone else!! Love you all ❤️❤️❤️

#i had so much fun #totally didn't spend a whole hour on this #😖😖 #hope you all are having a good day

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Chillax, I'm exposing both of us.

Tagged by @bangtanfancamp this was so funny! I had to make two because the results were either soft or hardcore but they somehow represent my two moods so it‘s perfect!✨

Rules: search „your name“ + „core“ + „aesthetic“ on Pinterest and create a moodboard from the results.

Tagging: @diamondteardropsblog @teaandcoke (anyone who sees this can join!)

#that was definitely tmi #idec at this point

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

She's so indecisive // Jungkook on mah mind

Tagged by @bangtanfancamp this was so funny! I had to make two because the results were either soft or hardcore but they somehow represent my two moods so it‘s perfect!✨

Rules: search „your name“ + „core“ + „aesthetic“ on Pinterest and create a moodboard from the results.

Tagging: @diamondteardropsblog @teaandcoke (anyone who sees this can join!)

#bts-fantasy #she is always perfect #if anyone sees this #the moodboards are her. Period. #no words to say anything else #praise yourself more

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

@bangtanfancamp ahh thank you for your lovely words!! 🥺🥺 yours was so breathtaking as well...the "I love you so matcha" part was just the best; your true self showing in through those tiny cracks, amirite 😆😆😆 You just write a whole story with your moodboard, uh huh uh huh, I see you! Aish thank you for loving it okay bye 💞💞

Tagged by : the lovely @bangtanfancamp I have never made one of these and I wasn't sure at first. But this was so much fun!! Thank you so much, love!! 💕💕

Rules : Search for "your name" + "core" + "aesthetic" on Pinterest and make a moodboard from the results.

Tagging : I have no one to tag lol, anyone who wants to do it is welcome to give it a try!! Have fun!! ^^

#hey there it's v babbling #you inspired me again for this #did you know that? #miss christiana #bcz you should #don't forget to love yourself as well #your majesty #okay bye for real

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Tagged by : the lovely @bangtanfancamp I have never made one of these and I wasn't sure at first. But this was so much fun!! Thank you so much, love!! 💕💕

Rules : Search for "your name" + "core" + "aesthetic" on Pinterest and make a moodboard from the results.

Tagging : I have no one to tag lol, anyone who wants to do it is welcome to give it a try!! Have fun!! ^^

#hey there it's V #bangtanfancamp #moodboard #angel core #love aesthetic #pink and blue #the castle in my mind #V with love #enchanted #soft moodboard

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Aren't I an angel, babe? ;)

@jinfinityy @kimmegumi0 @betysotelo18

hey how about make yourself with this picrew and tag some mutuals

i’ll start :^)

and i’ll tag @kazz @fair-y-child @tenthprinceofhell @qlecs @sarcasticmalecfan @jazzkaurtheglorious

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.32

Summary: Your close friend Taehyung, shares a secret with you, a big secret: You have had a crush on Jimin for the past 6 years. But what he doesn’t know is that you have done something bigger than that, something that could destroy many people’s lives in seconds. That is a secret for you to keep. But something even bigger is floating in the air: what you have done could destroy BTS’s friendship forever…but that is a secret even you don’t know yourself.

Pairing : Reader × Jimin/Taehyung ft. Other Members

Genre : Angst

Word Count : 2.2k

Two parts of the same city. Two people, still as time itself, as the shocking truth unfolded itself in front of them. He moved. I stood still.

“What are you yelling for?” Jungkook’s face peeked through the door which he had slammed minutes ago. His eyes flinched a little when he saw Taehyung’s expression before coming back to normal.

“Jungkook! This note…!” Tae ran up to him, who was still in the doorway. He was breathing heavily as his hand which held the paper trembled. Jungkook only glanced briefly in its direction. “You know, you shouldn’t give a suicide note to someone beforehand hyung,” he said casually, leaning on the doorframe as he crossed his arms in a relaxed manner.

“Jungkook…” Taehyung’s eyes seemed to be pleading for something.

“Not that I’m gonna stop you though, go ahead.” Jungkook shrugged nonchalantly, looking directly at him. Tae winced, as an unbearable pain seemed to be tugging at him.

“She loves me, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stood up straight, looking at Tae with an unusual gentleness in his eyes. In the perfect silence that surrounded the atmosphere, all of the pain and the longing was clearly audible in Tae’s voice.

“She loves me, Jungkook.”

“It’s about time you realised it, hyung.”

“She…loves…me…Jungkook.”

“Mhm.”

“She loves me, Jungkook.”

“How many more times are you gonna say that?”

Tae looked up, as a tear fell down his cheek. He had a look in his eyes that chilled Jungkook, same as eight months ago, but different. He looked back briefly at the table clock – still around half an hour until she had to go.

“I’m not letting her go anywhere.”

“..Huh?” It took Jungkook a few seconds to realize what Tae had said, and by that time he was already almost out the door. He collected himself, shaking his head to release all the emotions welling up inside him before running after him.

“What?” Tae said, looking down at his left wrist which Jungkook was holding firmly. “You can’t leave,” He said with an unusual expression on his face.

Tae looked at Jungkook for a moment, and then back down at the wrist which he was holding. In the next second, he broke his hand free in a swift motion and ran out the door.

“Hyung, stop-” Slam.

“Damn this guy,” Jungkook muttered.

Taehyung ran out of the house with an unexplainable power surging inside him. She had loved him. She had always loved him. That was what she had wanted to tell him when she had come to his place. Not the news that she was leaving the city. The goal was never that. She had been hoping that he would stop her from leaving. That he would tell her he still loved her. Because she still loved him. She never saw anyone else. In her eyes, he was the one- forever and only.

How could you do this, Y/N? How….after all the times I have hurt you, ridiculed you, slammed the door on your face, told you to go away millions of times….how can you still manage to do this? Everyone hates me…Jungkook, Jimin hyung, everyone..hates me…even I hate myself for being such a coward, for being such an asshole to you, for giving you pain because I was the one who misunderstood you…how do you do this, Y/N?

How do you still love me? Why…do you still love me? How dare you, Y/N? How dare you keep shining like the sun in my darkening life? How….why…why? You are….such an idiot!

Precious. She was precious to him. Right now, all that he knew was that she was the most precious in the world to him, and he did not want to let her go.

He had been wrong. He had been wrong about everything. From the very beginning. He was wrong about being scared that she would reject him if he confessed to her, he was wrong about her intentions when she was with Jimin, and he was wrong about her choosing someone, anyone, other than himself. She had loved him. She had always loved him.

And right now, as he ran through the streets, panting heavily, the tears streaming down his face left no room for one to wonder how much she meant to him.

Everything was whizzing by him. Everything stood silent around me.

“Jimin…why…?” I whispered, looking straight ahead. My nose was getting tingly; I was looking straight ahead but nothing really existed at the place where my eyes were focused on.

Jimin sighed softly, then stood up. “Y/N, I….please-”

“No,” I whispered again, taking a step back. I tried to look at him but my eyes were getting blurry with tears. “No…Jimin…why…?”

Jimin gulped. Balling his hands into fists, he looked down, trying to blink away the intense emotions welling up in his eyes.

“Jimin…I have to go…I can’t…” I whispered, again. I didn’t speak, I didn’t want to speak, I couldn’t speak.

“I am not forcing you, Y/N. You are free to do whatever you like.” I heard his small voice.

I couldn’t see him. Tears were flooding my eyes, and I could only do so much to not break down. A constant ringing was piercing my ears, breaking my everything into pieces.

“I am telling you this, Y/N. You can’t just go like this. If I have ever even meant anything to you, you can’t just leave.”

“Jimin…” I whispered so softly that no one could hear. Not even I could hear anything that I had to say. “Tae..” My lips, my heart uttered that word, but no sound came out this time.

Jimin unclenched his fists, and looked up. After a long moment, he extended his right hand towards me.

“Take my hand, and tell me where you want to go.”

I looked up at his words. I still couldn’t see him, and I wanted to. I wanted to know what he was thinking, I wanted to know what to do. I started sobbing, and didn’t even realize when I did. I was tired of everything. My hands trembled; I wanted to move them but couldn’t.

“Leave the city, or come with me. Take my hand, it’s your call, Y/N, but no matter what, you have to take my hand.” He whispered, and I tried to look at him again. This time, I saw a small smile on his face. Not like his usual one. Not like the Jimin one. He seemed as if he had no strength left, and the smile was sad, so sad…like he had lost a war with someone.

“I will always be with you, Y/N.” He kept smiling softly as a tear quietly rolled down his cheek.

In a flash, I realized what I wanted to do, and I extended my hand towards his already extended one.

“Hyung, would you stop?” Jungkook yelled, grabbing Tae from behind by his collar moments before he was about to enter her door. How the hell did you catch up to me, he wanted to ask, but didn’t; he already knew the answer. “Let me go already!” Instead, he yelled profusely, and pushed him back. Jungkook lost his balance but managed to not fall, and Tae opened the door to her house.

“She…is gone.”

The house was empty. Nothing remained in the empty room where he stood, except a faint scent of her in the air which indicated that she was here moments ago. That he had lost her by a small margin.

“I can’t believe it.” He whispered.

Jungkook came behind him, and looked quizzically at the empty room. “Hyung…I told you to stop.” He said in a soft voice, holding his stomach, tired from all the running.

Tae couldn’t feel the tiredness. He couldn’t feel anything. She…was gone?

His hands clenched into fists, and then they trembled and unclenched. A crumbled piece of paper fell down from his hands. Jungkook bent down to pick it up as Tae turned back robotically and started to walk away from the house slowly.

“Hyung, you..” Jungkook trailed off as he saw Tae walk away. Everything was just as he wanted it to be, but it hurt.

It hurt.

It hurts.

It hurts me, Y/N.

Where are you? Why did you leave me?

You loved me, right?

That was what you wrote, right?

So why did you run away? Like me?

You loved me, right?

So why did you run away?

“Tae, I am writing this letter to tell you that I am not running away. Actually….scratch that. I don’t know why I am writing this letter. Heck, I don’t even know if you will read it or not. Maybe you’ll tear it up and throw it in a trash can, or burn it up like in the movies, you know? Haha, scratch that too, actually. You won’t. I know you won’t. Because…Tae, I know you have a good heart. I know you’re over me, but I also know that you used to love me. I am not saying that I know it all. I don’t know anything. I don’t know what you’re going through at this moment. I see an undeniable pain in your eyes, and every time you turn your face away from me, I feel that you are hiding something that is eating away at your soul for some reason. I don’t know what that reason is, but I want to know. Or at least, wanted to. I wanted to do a lot of things actually, Tae. I wanted to go to that park with you again…to see you making that cutely annoyed face when I bought that sugar-free drink. To watch movies with you, to do window shopping, to walk with you under the moonlight, to sit with you on the beach under the starry sky and listen to you talk about your dreams and desires. And when you changed, I wanted to know why. I wanted to help you. I wanted to share your pain, because it hurt me seeing you suffer alone. You were pushing me away. Possibly because you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. You’d be right. I don’t have any authority over you. You said no to me despite knowing that I chose you, and I respect your decision. It was probably because I don’t deserve you. And I understand. That is why I am leaving. And I am leaving happily, Tae. I have no regrets, nor do I resent you in any way. Maybe my being in front of you was hurting you. And I understand. I am not running away, Tae. I am leaving because I love you.”

You said you loved me, Y/N.

So why? Why? Why, when I had just started to have faith in you, only to realize that I trusted you since forever….why did you turn your back on me then? Turning the back on people and running away was my thing. Something that I hated about me. Something that kept me away from you for so long. Something that hurt you, that hurt me, Y/N. You were supposed to be the key to my salvation.

“You were supposed to save me, Y/N.” He whispered. He had stopped walking a long time ago, it was just the tears that hadn’t stopped. And now he stood in the middle of the road, looking up at the sky.

“Why did you leave me? Why did you…”

His legs gave away, and he sat down on the road, looking down. He felt alone. In the big city, between thousands of people, he felt alone. He felt as if he had lost something invaluable.

“Why did I let you go???”

No one answered. The knot in his chest got tighter, and no one was there to understand his unspoken words anymore.

“I am sorry…!” That was all he could say before he broke down sobbing on the concrete path. The tears streamed down mercilessly, and he felt a piercing pain in his heart.

“I am sorry, Y/N. I am so sorry. I let you go. I let you go yet again. You were always there for me, and I couldn’t even get past my fears to see that you were. Even though…even…though…you said you loved me a million times, I just…misunderstood you. And now when I know everything, you are just….gone, and I can’t….I can’t tell you anything anymore. I am so sorry, Y/N. I am so sorry…!”

Jungkook stood silently at the doorstep of her house, looking painfully at Tae. Tears made way through his eyes onto his face, but he didn’t move. He couldn’t; Tae wouldn’t listen to anything anymore.

“Where did you go, Y/N? Why did you go? I am so sorry, Y/N. I am so sorry I hurt you. Please come back.” His tearful voice pierced Jungkook’s ears and he shivered, for there was so much pain in it that it was unbearable for him to even listen to it.

“Please come back, Y/N, please. I promise I will not hurt you ever again. I will protect you from…from everything that might hurt you. Don’t leave me…please come back, Y/N, please, please!”

…..

…..Please....Y/N....

.....

…..Please...

.....

.....

.....

.....

.....

“…I am right here, Tae.”

--------------------------------------------------

Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.32

Part 31///Part 32///Part 33

SERIES MASTERLIST

Hey, guys!! Long time no see. So here is the newest update after a whole century (I'm so sorry ><). I only hope you guys just have a good time while giving it a read, and I'll be happy. If you have anything to ask me or tell me anything about anything you want to, ask me and if you want to talk (bcz we're all feeling alone these days in quarantine aren't we?) you can always, always DM me and let's chat!!! Make sure you take care of yourself, too, okay? Stay updated, and happy reading!!

#icymi #can you keep a secret bts #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts jimin #bts jungkook #bts v #bts ff #jeon jungkook #park jimin #kim taehyung #bts as friends #bts as boyfriends #bts angst #jisunwithtaeandkookie #bts what ifs #bts fic #cykas part 32

[jisunwithtaeandkookie]

Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.32

Summary: Your close friend Taehyung, shares a secret with you, a big secret: You have had a crush on Jimin for the past 6 years. But what he doesn’t know is that you have done something bigger than that, something that could destroy many people’s lives in seconds. That is a secret for you to keep. But something even bigger is floating in the air: what you have done could destroy BTS’s friendship forever…but that is a secret even you don’t know yourself.

Pairing : Reader × Jimin/Taehyung ft. Other Members

Genre : Angst

Word Count : 2.2k

Two parts of the same city. Two people, still as time itself, as the shocking truth unfolded itself in front of them. He moved. I stood still.

“What are you yelling for?” Jungkook’s face peeked through the door which he had slammed minutes ago. His eyes flinched a little when he saw Taehyung’s expression before coming back to normal.

“Jungkook! This note…!” Tae ran up to him, who was still in the doorway. He was breathing heavily as his hand which held the paper trembled. Jungkook only glanced briefly in its direction. “You know, you shouldn’t give a suicide note to someone beforehand hyung,” he said casually, leaning on the doorframe as he crossed his arms in a relaxed manner.

“Jungkook…” Taehyung’s eyes seemed to be pleading for something.

“Not that I’m gonna stop you though, go ahead.” Jungkook shrugged nonchalantly, looking directly at him. Tae winced, as an unbearable pain seemed to be tugging at him.

“She loves me, Jungkook.”

Jungkook stood up straight, looking at Tae with an unusual gentleness in his eyes. In the perfect silence that surrounded the atmosphere, all of the pain and the longing was clearly audible in Tae’s voice.

“She loves me, Jungkook.”

“It’s about time you realised it, hyung.”

“She…loves…me…Jungkook.”

“Mhm.”

“She loves me, Jungkook.”

“How many more times are you gonna say that?”

Tae looked up, as a tear fell down his cheek. He had a look in his eyes that chilled Jungkook, same as eight months ago, but different. He looked back briefly at the table clock – still around half an hour until she had to go.

“I’m not letting her go anywhere.”

“..Huh?” It took Jungkook a few seconds to realize what Tae had said, and by that time he was already almost out the door. He collected himself, shaking his head to release all the emotions welling up inside him before running after him.

“What?” Tae said, looking down at his left wrist which Jungkook was holding firmly. “You can’t leave,” He said with an unusual expression on his face.

Tae looked at Jungkook for a moment, and then back down at the wrist which he was holding. In the next second, he broke his hand free in a swift motion and ran out the door.

“Hyung, stop-” Slam.

“Damn this guy,” Jungkook muttered.

Taehyung ran out of the house with an unexplainable power surging inside him. She had loved him. She had always loved him. That was what she had wanted to tell him when she had come to his place. Not the news that she was leaving the city. The goal was never that. She had been hoping that he would stop her from leaving. That he would tell her he still loved her. Because she still loved him. She never saw anyone else. In her eyes, he was the one- forever and only.

How could you do this, Y/N? How….after all the times I have hurt you, ridiculed you, slammed the door on your face, told you to go away millions of times….how can you still manage to do this? Everyone hates me…Jungkook, Jimin hyung, everyone..hates me…even I hate myself for being such a coward, for being such an asshole to you, for giving you pain because I was the one who misunderstood you…how do you do this, Y/N?

How do you still love me? Why…do you still love me? How dare you, Y/N? How dare you keep shining like the sun in my darkening life? How….why…why? You are….such an idiot!

Precious. She was precious to him. Right now, all that he knew was that she was the most precious in the world to him, and he did not want to let her go.

He had been wrong. He had been wrong about everything. From the very beginning. He was wrong about being scared that she would reject him if he confessed to her, he was wrong about her intentions when she was with Jimin, and he was wrong about her choosing someone, anyone, other than himself. She had loved him. She had always loved him.

And right now, as he ran through the streets, panting heavily, the tears streaming down his face left no room for one to wonder how much she meant to him.

Everything was whizzing by him. Everything stood silent around me.

“Jimin…why…?” I whispered, looking straight ahead. My nose was getting tingly; I was looking straight ahead but nothing really existed at the place where my eyes were focused on.

Jimin sighed softly, then stood up. “Y/N, I….please-”

“No,” I whispered again, taking a step back. I tried to look at him but my eyes were getting blurry with tears. “No…Jimin…why…?”

Jimin gulped. Balling his hands into fists, he looked down, trying to blink away the intense emotions welling up in his eyes.

“Jimin…I have to go…I can’t…” I whispered, again. I didn’t speak, I didn’t want to speak, I couldn’t speak.

“I am not forcing you, Y/N. You are free to do whatever you like.” I heard his small voice.

I couldn’t see him. Tears were flooding my eyes, and I could only do so much to not break down. A constant ringing was piercing my ears, breaking my everything into pieces.

“I am telling you this, Y/N. You can’t just go like this. If I have ever even meant anything to you, you can’t just leave.”

“Jimin…” I whispered so softly that no one could hear. Not even I could hear anything that I had to say. “Tae..” My lips, my heart uttered that word, but no sound came out this time.

Jimin unclenched his fists, and looked up. After a long moment, he extended his right hand towards me.

“Take my hand, and tell me where you want to go.”

I looked up at his words. I still couldn’t see him, and I wanted to. I wanted to know what he was thinking, I wanted to know what to do. I started sobbing, and didn’t even realize when I did. I was tired of everything. My hands trembled; I wanted to move them but couldn’t.

“Leave the city, or come with me. Take my hand, it’s your call, Y/N, but no matter what, you have to take my hand.” He whispered, and I tried to look at him again. This time, I saw a small smile on his face. Not like his usual one. Not like the Jimin one. He seemed as if he had no strength left, and the smile was sad, so sad…like he had lost a war with someone.

“I will always be with you, Y/N.” He kept smiling softly as a tear quietly rolled down his cheek.

In a flash, I realized what I wanted to do, and I extended my hand towards his already extended one.

“Hyung, would you stop?” Jungkook yelled, grabbing Tae from behind by his collar moments before he was about to enter her door. How the hell did you catch up to me, he wanted to ask, but didn’t; he already knew the answer. “Let me go already!” Instead, he yelled profusely, and pushed him back. Jungkook lost his balance but managed to not fall, and Tae opened the door to her house.

“She…is gone.”

The house was empty. Nothing remained in the empty room where he stood, except a faint scent of her in the air which indicated that she was here moments ago. That he had lost her by a small margin.

“I can’t believe it.” He whispered.

Jungkook came behind him, and looked quizzically at the empty room. “Hyung…I told you to stop.” He said in a soft voice, holding his stomach, tired from all the running.

Tae couldn’t feel the tiredness. He couldn’t feel anything. She…was gone?

His hands clenched into fists, and then they trembled and unclenched. A crumbled piece of paper fell down from his hands. Jungkook bent down to pick it up as Tae turned back robotically and started to walk away from the house slowly.

“Hyung, you..” Jungkook trailed off as he saw Tae walk away. Everything was just as he wanted it to be, but it hurt.

It hurt.

It hurts.

It hurts me, Y/N.

Where are you? Why did you leave me?

You loved me, right?

That was what you wrote, right?

So why did you run away? Like me?

You loved me, right?

So why did you run away?

“Tae, I am writing this letter to tell you that I am not running away. Actually….scratch that. I don’t know why I am writing this letter. Heck, I don’t even know if you will read it or not. Maybe you’ll tear it up and throw it in a trash can, or burn it up like in the movies, you know? Haha, scratch that too, actually. You won’t. I know you won’t. Because…Tae, I know you have a good heart. I know you’re over me, but I also know that you used to love me. I am not saying that I know it all. I don’t know anything. I don’t know what you’re going through at this moment. I see an undeniable pain in your eyes, and every time you turn your face away from me, I feel that you are hiding something that is eating away at your soul for some reason. I don’t know what that reason is, but I want to know. Or at least, wanted to. I wanted to do a lot of things actually, Tae. I wanted to go to that park with you again…to see you making that cutely annoyed face when I bought that sugar-free drink. To watch movies with you, to do window shopping, to walk with you under the moonlight, to sit with you on the beach under the starry sky and listen to you talk about your dreams and desires. And when you changed, I wanted to know why. I wanted to help you. I wanted to share your pain, because it hurt me seeing you suffer alone. You were pushing me away. Possibly because you don’t want anything to do with me anymore. You’d be right. I don’t have any authority over you. You said no to me despite knowing that I chose you, and I respect your decision. It was probably because I don’t deserve you. And I understand. That is why I am leaving. And I am leaving happily, Tae. I have no regrets, nor do I resent you in any way. Maybe my being in front of you was hurting you. And I understand. I am not running away, Tae. I am leaving because I love you.”

You said you loved me, Y/N.

So why? Why? Why, when I had just started to have faith in you, only to realize that I trusted you since forever….why did you turn your back on me then? Turning the back on people and running away was my thing. Something that I hated about me. Something that kept me away from you for so long. Something that hurt you, that hurt me, Y/N. You were supposed to be the key to my salvation.

“You were supposed to save me, Y/N.” He whispered. He had stopped walking a long time ago, it was just the tears that hadn’t stopped. And now he stood in the middle of the road, looking up at the sky.

“Why did you leave me? Why did you…”

His legs gave away, and he sat down on the road, looking down. He felt alone. In the big city, between thousands of people, he felt alone. He felt as if he had lost something invaluable.

“Why did I let you go???”

No one answered. The knot in his chest got tighter, and no one was there to understand his unspoken words anymore.

“I am sorry…!” That was all he could say before he broke down sobbing on the concrete path. The tears streamed down mercilessly, and he felt a piercing pain in his heart.

“I am sorry, Y/N. I am so sorry. I let you go. I let you go yet again. You were always there for me, and I couldn’t even get past my fears to see that you were. Even though…even…though…you said you loved me a million times, I just…misunderstood you. And now when I know everything, you are just….gone, and I can’t….I can’t tell you anything anymore. I am so sorry, Y/N. I am so sorry…!”

Jungkook stood silently at the doorstep of her house, looking painfully at Tae. Tears made way through his eyes onto his face, but he didn’t move. He couldn’t; Tae wouldn’t listen to anything anymore.

“Where did you go, Y/N? Why did you go? I am so sorry, Y/N. I am so sorry I hurt you. Please come back.” His tearful voice pierced Jungkook’s ears and he shivered, for there was so much pain in it that it was unbearable for him to even listen to it.

“Please come back, Y/N, please. I promise I will not hurt you ever again. I will protect you from…from everything that might hurt you. Don’t leave me…please come back, Y/N, please, please!”

…..

…..Please....Y/N....

.....

…..Please...

.....

.....

.....

.....

.....

“…I am right here, Tae.”

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Can You Keep A Secret? Pt.32

Part 31///Part 32///Part 33

SERIES MASTERLIST

Hey, guys!! Long time no see. So here is the newest update after a whole century (I'm so sorry ><). I only hope you guys just have a good time while giving it a read, and I'll be happy. If you have anything to ask me or tell me anything about anything you want to, ask me and if you want to talk (bcz we're all feeling alone these days in quarantine aren't we?) you can always, always DM me and let's chat!!! Make sure you take care of yourself, too, okay? Stay updated, and happy reading!!

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