mateuszo

[mateuszo]

Coffee date

When on a coffee date with the security guard, and I fell more and more in love with him as he spoke, jokingly awkwardly - and we asked each other questions and go to know each other better.

He sounds so sweet and suave in his native tongue, I couldn't help but look lost into at him when he ordered tea or when he paid for the coffee and tea later.

I also got to hold his hand sort of - withdrew because I feared he might be uncomfortable; but he seemed to smile.

We got lunch together here tomorrow.. I am excited to see him again.

#random ramblings #crush #when on a date #coffee date

[mateuszo]

This is cliché -- the security guard was here today again, and when I went for coffee break with my coworkers. I wasn't sitting the usual spot so he could 'see' me from the booth.

So meanwhile we are talking, he walks in and 'checks' a door and turns to look and zoom in on me; satisfied he walks away again.

And my coworkers realised it was him I was talking about, because no one ever ever checks the door in the canteen...

"It is because I am not sitting in my usual spot so he can observe/watch me, and he wanted to see what I was doing," I said matter of fact.

The next thing I know - he is appears 'checking' out the radio upstairs, and when I came out for lunch and said; "what are you doing up here," with a confused smile, he turned to look at me with a smile and began to stumble / fumble; "the music is loud -- again -- people has complained.. so I went up to check, not that I mind music..."

And we spend some hours talking abut himself, and me. And he drops hint; "I have an ex....," etc.

I think the crush is not... one-sided?

I winked saying I will miss him seeing he is rarely here and he got flustered, smiling all wonky. I also got his number.

#random ramblings #crush #oh well #uhm.. #he seems nice #he likes me #??? i think

[mateuszo]

Today waiting for my coworkers to go out for lunch,

The security guard I am crushing on - approached me; "Lunch time?" he smiled - hands behind his back as he followed me until we were separated by the gate.

"Yep - lunch, just waiting for my colleagues," I said and he began pacing a bit - back and forth, and then we started a conversation about an earlier comment; heating - and cold, and how he could move my things down into the entrance for me so I could be warm.

He changed his mind midway during talking; not wanting to cross his arms and instead put his hands away. He fidgeting a lot sometimes and paces.

I laughed and said; I need to be close to my boss - I don't want to walk up and down the stairs, and the guard chuckled; "well I am trying to help -can't say I am not doing anything!" (or so) - paced some more and then leant over the gate, looking at me as I rambled. Before I left - he asked me where I was from and such - in return I asked where he was from.

It was funny - he was pacing and being fidgety until he gradually made his way up to my position - opposite of me due to the physical barrier

I feel more calm and at ease having a barrier; I get less anxious, shy and such as him being close to me makes me jittery and all nervous (in a good way).

I don't want to scare him away with my arm and hand waving.

#crush #random ramblings

[mateuszo]

Oh no no no..

I think I am developing feelings / a crush for a security guard at my work.. *buries head into hands* -- I am reading too much into it and now I am scared to be let down/hurt.

He just being friendly and chatty - he is not interested in me like that, and I am over here being restless, and gushing.

We barely even met - we met twice, and I am already smitten by him, and it only got worse today when he began to speak multiple languages to me, and complimented me -- and exchange jokes..

And when he offered to move my desk to somewhere warmer, smiling and chuckling as he paced in front of me, not sure what to do with his hands or arms - he leant over the gate-pole and smiled at me.

When he held the door open before it shut and chuckled saying; "It will come...," after I said I am still learning French...

He makes me restless and anxious to see him again and my mind keeps turning thoughts. I don't want this.

I am over-analysing it too. It seemed an odd coincidence, that with the door half-closed, he happens to look in my direction while I am having a coffee, and he stands with his hands in his pockets.

Done it twice -- first time he was pacing, around - looking somewhat.

He changed his clothes a bit when I met him the third time today - he got a suit on and I complimented his tie, and the coat....

Also that he seem to be eager to lean in and talk to me; noting my little jokes I make; "I am still me - haven't changed unfortunately.."

The first time he stood up and leant on his arms, looking at me with a smile; "why is that unfortunately?" -- I froze and wasn't sure what to say so I giggled nervously; "because?" Before I hid behind the door.

The second time I didn't say unfortunately, and he asked quietly; "why change?" And I halted; "pardon?" He looked up and said; "why change - you do know I will recognise you regardless..," he smiled, and then after a bit of talking I noted he said; "I prefer/like the hair colour."

*buries head into arms*

Oh help me lord, am developing a crush..

#random ramblings #oh no #crush

[mateuszo]

I saw a handsome gentleman on the bus the other day. He had a curly moustache and a van dyke like beard. I do not know how long it took for him to grow that moustache and curl it like that..

It fit him well.

It's rare to see men like that. Unique and pretty cool.

#random ramblings

[mateuszo]

Et nous sommes retour -- temporaire

Bonsoir Tumblr,

Avant tout, je voudrais m'excuser pour mon mauvais français.

(Je ne peux pas dormir, et je voulais écrire une petite mise à jour.)

C'est moi - je suis retour, mais temporaire. Comme je l'ai mentionné il y a quelque temps.. Quelque chose d'important s'est produit.

Cela signifiait que je devais changer de vie! Numéro un: je dois étudier le français -- eeh.. J'essaie toujours d'étudier... C'est difficile, mais pour le moment, je peux en comprendre certains.

Je lis le journal; je lis des lives est j'écoute la radio. Et j'espère que je pourrai parler et écrire en français.

Je vis maintenant dans un tout nouveau pays et je m’adapte bien.. J'ai survécu !

#learning french #language learning #français #french

[mateuszo]

Till we meet again...

As a lot of good things has happened in my life, and there is a new chapter in my life that requires change, and sadly this change means I am not going to be on social media as much as I used to.

I am going to not be active for a few years, as I am focusing on starting a new life; exploring this new chapter and adventure.

I wish you all the best and that you too will experience new adventures. Take care of yourselves and be nice to others; be it online or be it in real.

Remember to take breaks from social media and don't be online too much.

Remember to eat healthy, drink water and practice good sleep routines.

#farewell #we will meet again #I am leaving #take care of yourself #Remember to smile

[mateuszo]

Blessed be - my pepperfruit has grown out his bells.

Thank you, little plant - I'm so proud of you.

#random ramblings

[mateuszo]

Decided to go back to roleplay to try it out as I'm unable to be on my computer for a long time.

Got into town, bought coffee and instantly hear a 'click' sound next to me after two sips, and are herded into a bank. I was busy looking into the cup of coffee, watching the liquid just slowly disappear after each sip, so didn't see them before the click sound.

Had to spill the coffee, as it would had been not very hostage of me to bring my coffee in there.

Then accidentally had a speed-date with a revolver to my face.

Good times, though.

#gaming #roleplay

[mateuszo]

#Jada #youtube video #Youtube

[mateuszo]

Apparently Pinterest don't like kissing. They removed a pin in my drawing/sketching board, that I use for references..

Then they a few hours later returned saying they reinstated it and then proceeded to give me a vague threat as if I broke their rules anyway..

The pin was 4 doodles pose references of people kissing, that I probably saved to practice kissing references.

I don't know what to say.... I guess I am going through deleting anything relating to; Kissing, hugging, etc? In case they deem that too pornographic..

They may had reinstated, but I am deleting it in case they flip again... In fact I deleted the entire category of body-pose reference in my art-board in case they decide to change their mind...

#random ramblings #okay I guess?

[mateuszo]

Oh no.. I'm friendzoned... *Buries head into arm* ....

They don't do long-distance. God have mercy upon my soul.

Alright - just gonna suck it up and keep moving. I truly felt they were matching with how I was, and I still do. It's gonna be some rough days.

Told them that the coffee meeting was a date and we might just -- sort of agree to let that thing pass.

#random ramblings #fuck my liiiiife

[mateuszo]

I think I am developing a crush on someone; we seem to share so much in common.. I like their voice and they seem smart...

I don't want my little crush to be stomped on though... As I am scared of scaring them away. When I get interested/attracted to someone, I begin talking a lot more with them and rambling.

I need to reel myself in a bit and respect that they may not want someone spamming them with random zig-zaggy ramblings.

#random ramblings

[mateuszo]

Someone had a space battle over my tiny tribe and now I got 7+ new members of my tribe.

#rimworld #gaming

[mateuszo]

I got this chocolate twist thing from the shop, it wasn't really like a twister -- it was more of a sausage roll with stuffing.

I am not too pleased -- too much bread, little filling. Too dry, I am gulping water.

The toffee twist wasn't that exciting.

But it was okay to try out.

#random ramblings

[mateuszo]

I love how humans humanise objects. I am watching a video of someone with a robot dog.

It immediately went from "it" to a living person - despite it being controlled by someone, it was talked and referred to as it was an independent and living being.

I remember reading about this concept, and it really shows how we can bond to things; cars, robots and ships.

#random ramblings

[mateuszo]

That's amazing. They just discovered more than 5000 new species in the Pacific Ocean.

It really proves that we don't know our own planet very well. We keep finding new species.

#reading the news #wow!