mommy-shark-blog

[mommy-shark-blog]

When I say I am absolutely not a prudish person, please believe me.

In fact, I'm one of the only people I know that not only know that Anne Rice wrote 4 VERY erotic novels under the nom de plume A. N. Roquelaure, but owned them all, well thumbed (pun intended) copies I would read alone in the dark of night. If you haven't read them, I highly recommend them. They're nasty, freaky, and so sexy.

So, again, not prudish. Yet, whenever I see fan fiction depicting Aziraphale and Crowley in extremely dirty scenarios, I instantly blush and turn away. And while I was stuck in the hospital for the second time in a matter of weeks and passed the time rewatching GO season 2 for the umpteenth time, I finally understood why.

For me, Aziraphale and Crowley exist in a world of old Hollywood romances. Where a va va voom kiss is the pinnacle of romance, where the dance that leads to that kiss is sexy in its simplicity and innocence. Where a loaded gaze says all that is being unsaid, but understood on a cellular level. Where a soft touch on the arm is the only love language that is needed.

Please do not get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE that so many people are writing their own provocative fan fictions, and this is in no way an admonishment to any one writing them. Please keep writing them, please make them as filthy as you can/want.

I'm just here trying to give a voice to those who, like me, shy away from them and may not understand why.

We just prefer a little more Fred and Ginger and a little less Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson when it comes to our Azariphale and Crowley fantasies.

And that's ok. It's just a different kind of dance.

#good omens #aziracrow #good omens 2

[mommy-shark-blog]

I think a lot of how Crowley's entire existence is pretending.

Whenever they say something "evil," I can't help but think how artificial and sarcastic it sounds.

It's like they're saying what they know they should be saying, saying what is expected of them, but there's no conviction behind it. It's all artifice.

Now, imagine this is true for almost your entire existence. You have to, every second and every minute of the day, walk on eggshells. Because if you don't, you will be PUNISHED.

And yes, this is true for Azariphale as well, but to a much lesser extent.

A strongly worded email vs. decades in the deepest pit in Hell, alone and forgotten. Or tortured and abused. I leave it to you to decide which punishment is worse.

I think of how sad Crowley must have been when they were punished for their good deed for Elsbeth. How they must have spent ALL that time pining for Earth and Azariphale, mourning what they were missing, what those clever humans were up there inventing and doing, and they had to miss it ALL.

So, they do all they can to make sure they never have to endure that again. They play the evil little puppet, and sometimes they feel it, and sometimes they agree, but on the whole, no.

Just look at their smile when they're trying to get Nina & Maggie under the canopy. That is not the smile of an evil person.

The only other people on this planet that understand what Crowley goes through every day are, very sadly, the children and spouses of abusers. They know, all too well, that a phrase or sentiment not delivered in the expected way will result in pain, so much pain, mentally, physically, or to their soul, that wounds on a level only the universe can comprehend.

The sheer exhaustion that it must enact on every atom of your being must be staggering.

David Tennant acts this so beautifully, it's breathtaking.

Neil Gaiman writes it so hauntingly perfect.

And it's just something about Crowley's pysche and being that I think a lot about.

And I just want to hug them.

And I just want to hug all the people of this planet that have to endure this everyday too.

I wish I could.

#good omens #crowley

[mommy-shark-blog]

There was a post on Twitter today directed towards a famous author that was, for lack of a better word, scolding him for how he chose to portray his characters on screen. And, as my very hillbilly grandmother would say, I just didn't cotton to it.

This man gave birth to this story from his heart and soul. Even more so, he worked with a very close friend and confidant to bring this tale to life. I'm sure in those conversations, there were laughs and maybe tears and even flashes of frustration. But this was THEIR story and they loved it and they brought it forth for all of us to enjoy.

Yes, maybe it wasn't what you expected, what you had built up in your head of what it should be. I'm sorry that happened. But that, unfortunately, is life. And you are free to be angry and disappointed. But what we shouldn't be doing is BLAMING this man for telling his story.

These artists, they get to do something amazing that so few can do. I myself even dreamed that silly dream. Mercifully for the universe, I gave up that delusion, but I am in awe, all the time, of those blessed individuals that can make that magic work.

I think the problem with social media is that there is no veil anymore. This author is very active on social media and interacts with his fans, so it's led to this belief that these people are, in fact, kind of our friends. But, sadly, they really aren't.

I'm frustrated about that post on behalf of the author. I'm sorry that someone told you that your dream wasn't appropriate or up to standards.

But please don't tell someone else how their magic should happen. It's theirs and theirs alone.

You have your story to tell, and so do they.

[mommy-shark-blog]

Crank

When my Boss fell, they threw their hands out, grasping, clawing, pinching; desperate to hold on, desperate to stay.

They hadn't meant to fall, you see. They had simply hung around with a bad crowd.

Just before their wings crackled and flamed, plunging then into the darkest darks for eternity, they were able to grab me and hold on tightly, a remembrance of who they were and what they had done.

They had started the Universe with a turn of me.

And for centuries, I sat waiting. Sometimes a painful reminder, sometimes a sweet memory.

And then, the humans, those lovely monsters, invented a machine. Sleek and black and gorgeous. When my Boss placed me and gave a turn, a new Universe was made.

A Universe of speed and freedom.

We've driven through fire; we've marched towards Hell.

And once, for just a moment, I was yellow.

The machine of a dream.

#good omens

[mommy-shark-blog]

I am probably not the intended target audience for Good Omens or Our Flag Means Death.

I am a 46 year old straight mom from Ohio.

So, why have these shows become so important to me?

Last year, my husband of 12 years walked away from me and our 7 year old daughter and into the arms of another woman.

Tale as old as time, right? Happens to people every day.

But, I was devastated. He left, taking all our money, and I was left to try to raise her on a scarce disability income (I developed a rare heart condition from her pregnancy and can't work anymore) and I felt despondent. He also stopped paying the mortgage, so we lost our home.

Bleak is too positive a word for what I was feeling.

One Saturday, too depressed to get out of bed, I turned on Good Omens.

And what I saw were these two intensely complex characters, both suffering from feelings of inertia and being stuck in their roles.

And then after I finished, I turned on Our Flag Means Death and it was the same.

I couldn't quite put my finger on why they resonated with me so much and then I finally understood.

Though my marriage hadn't ended on my terms, those same feelings had plagued me the last year or so before he left.

This feeling that I was profoundly STUCK, that every day was just the same, treading water, waiting to drown, being CRUSHED under layers and layers of toxicity, gasping for air.

And these shows, as silly as it may sound, helped me recognize the feelings that, until then, I couldn't even breathe to life in my own head.

Things are not perfect; things are still HARD, but I finally feel like I can start to dig my way up and out and be the mom my daughter needs me to be.

So, thank you to the creators, actors, and fans who have given me a space to stretch and breathe.

Here's to an amazing season 2 (OFMD) and an awe inspiring Season 3 🤞 (GO).

And I can't wait to keep reading all your wonderful fanfics and seeing your beautiful artwork.

Thank you.

#good omens #our flag means death