nervousmiseryy

[nervousmiseryy]

JUST HAD A THOUGHT

Mariah, Jon and Curt as the Merrily We Roll Along trio

A cover of "Old Friends" by them would make me explode tbh (in the best way possible)

#starkid #curt mega #mariah rose faith #jon matteson #merrily we roll along #this fancast is brought to you by my two current hyperfixations #AND COREY DORRIS AS JOE #(if they were to do opening doors)

[nervousmiseryy]

the thing i really like about just for once in nerdy prudes must die is that it's best iteration of the musical within a musical trope that has become characteristic of the hatchetfield musicals

like both show-stopping number and deck the halls (of northville high) are catchy songs from in-universe musicals that were very much written to have plots that suck

and show-stopping number was so well-beloved because it is, frankly, a hilarious scene that robert manion put 100% into

but i argue that only just for once is thematically relevant to its musical and fully emblematic of the wants and desires of the character singing it

because what is just for once, as a scene? it's ruth singing a song because she thinks she's got a chance of doing it better. it's ruth singing a song about a character who looks back on the mundane miseries of her lonely life and — at the last second — remembering who she used to be before the pain set in. it's ruth singing her version of cooler than i think i am and reflecting on how she is perceived and wondering what it takes to break away from it. it's ruth singing right after she says, "in my dreams, i'm the star of the show."

of all the losers that max jagerman victimizes, only ruth says who she'd like to become beyond that. where pete can't even admit to liking steph at gunpoint and richie doesn't ever get the chance to verbalize what he wants, ruth gets on the stage in the few minutes of break time and just for once, the spotlight is on her.

and the really crazy thing about just for once is — it has the "i'm not a loser" motif. possibly the most iconic and important motif of the whole musical, it's the motif that starts the opening number. and here it is, in the silly musical within a musical by the silly character who has — until this song — always served as comic relief.

in the climax of the song, just for once is no longer the song of a character from the barbecue monologues. it's ruth's. in those few seconds, it's her lamentation of the life that max jagerman forced on her.

but that's the thing about the "i'm not a loser" motif. the way it functions in the musical is as a harbinger for max's violence. the police at the beginning ask, "what the hell happened here?" and its the motif that answers. pete is the first character that sings the line and is immediately beaten up by max in the next scene. then richie sings it and max kills him in the same song. when ruth has the motif running as the crescendo to just for once, it sounds absolutely incredible... and it should come as no surprise when max appears shortly after.

(as a quick note: you can also hear the motif after max makes the car crash, then max appears two scenes later. you then hear the motif in the cooler than i think i am reprise and max also appears right after the song. it's like max is instantly summoned by any instance of the losers trying to shake off the role he placed on them — of trying to defy him.)

tl;dr: the inclusion of the "i'm not a loser" motif in just for once makes it the big lipped alligator moment that wasn't. like yeah, it accomplishes its goal in being the funny musical within a musical trope! the character acting makes it a funny song, and its a funny character performing it! but it also furthers our understanding of ruth AND of what the "i'm not a loser" really is: it's the characters trying to develop past being nerdy prudes and max doing everything in his power to prevent that.

and it does all that while being a banging musical tribute to stephen sondheim and, especially, his song the ladies who lunch. which in itself is a massive flex on jeff blim's part. what a brilliant song in a brilliant musical.

#the im not a loser motif is such an interesting part of the show #i think about it only a normal amount #(it has not left my mind) #nerdy prudes must die #starkid #npmd

[nervousmiseryy]

the way cellbit realized roier didn't want to open up, and instead of preassuring him, he asked him about his new builds, he complimented them, he gave him company.

"as long as I'm here you'll never be alone"

and when roier finally opened up, it was because he was ready, because he knew he could trust cellbit with his feelings and he would understand.

"you are the person i trust the most, i love you with all my heart"

#they make me insane #something about their vows being present in every step of their relationship #roier #cellbit #qsmp #spiderbit

[nervousmiseryy]

I need non-spanish speakers who found out about Roier through the QSMP to know about The Hotel Room Incident bc i find it so fcking funny

To give you some context: a bunch of spanish speaking streamers were all in Mexico, staying in the same hotel bc of The Eslands (an award show for streamers that was happening on the 29th of January).

And somehow, even though most streamers arrived on the 28th and were tired as fuck, a party started to from on the hotel. So throughout the night we kept getting instastories and videos of the guys saying hi to fans outside the hotel. Here are some examples: 1 (yep, that’s roier in the beginning), 2

Mind you, the event started really early the next day.

So the next morning we start getting tweets and stories from these streamers who are very obviously hungover and tired (a whole bunch of them ended up going with sunglasses to the awards lol).

And Mariana posts this story:

M: [...] The problem here is Roier, I don’t know where he is. He was supposed to stay here with me bc he did not have a room and I told him “stay with me, no problem dude” and there are his things and everything... he’s not here! and I have like 10 messages and 10 missed calls from him saying like “dude, I can’t get in!”. The dumbass is him bc I gave him a key.. no way [..]

Roier is missing

He could be sleeping in the middle of the hallway for all we know.

After like an hour or radio silence, Roier tweets this:

R: when you end up sleeping with spreen bc mariana fell asleep

S: you suck it good

R: you look really pretty sleeping

And other than this story (which is mainly Roier insulting Mariana lmao) we get no more context at all.

For like two days

Nothing will ever compare to all the communities trying to piece together what the hell happened that night through all the vague tweets, it was so fun. Istg it all felt like one of those Twitter AUs.

So, the awards happen, everyone goes back home and the fun part stars:

The streams where the streamers talk about the trip.

No one was safe (especially spreen) (it doesn’t matter to the story but you have to know everyone had a different wild ass story about him)

It turns out Mariana got so drunk that he forgot and fell asleep, and the key he gave Roier did not work, so Quackity had to use his lawyer skills to get the hotel people to let Roier in.

AND IT COULD HAVE WORKED, the hotel people opened the door, but they had to ask Mariana if Roier could enter, and he was just not waking up at all 😭, so Spreen (who had a whole afterparty forming in his room) offered his room.

And this was only one of the many things that happened during that trip (for example, at one point Mariana got them kicked out of a store bc he leaked their location and a crowd was forming 😭 ). So, what I guess I’m trying to say is that I’m really excited for when La Velada comes around and all of them can meet up again, and you should too, because these mfs cannot be normal when they get together.

#roier #elmariana #quackity #spreen

[nervousmiseryy]

I've been wanting to make this post for a while and, in light of the absolute epic outfits at their first WWWY show, I thought this would be the perfect time:

My Chemical Romance is not the same.

When people think of MCR, they think of eyeliner and blood and vampires and red and black and doom and gloom. And, don't get me wrong, a number of Gerard's outfits show that we still get some of that:

But, nowadays, we also get:

And I'm not just talking about dresses. I'm not just talking about Gerard finally feeling comfortable to wear whatever he wants, because that could be from numerous other factors.

No, I'm also talking about:

They're having fun.

This band had been nonstop since 2003. They went from Bullets to Revenge to Black Parade to Danger Days without much of a break because they were great and they were expected to do something because that's what great bands do; they keep creating things, they churn stuff out for their fans and their industry, they bleed themselves dry for other people because that's their job.

My Chemical Romance thought they were done after The Black Parade. And then they kept going, only because they were desperately trying to rewrite themselves. To rid themselves of those crushing expectations to do something else great. But, no matter what they did, MCR couldn't escape them.

We don't really know the full story behind why they ended things. MCR is notorious for being rather cryptic. But I get the feeling that those expectations were too much. No matter how much they just tried to be themselves, to create things for themselves, to have fun, they couldn't. And constantly doing things for other people starts weighing very heavily. Expectations and threats are only separated by a fine line. And they were tired.

Did they always expect to return...who knows? Certainly not us. Like I said, MCR has always been cryptic. But I do know that they didn't come back the same as before.

My Chemical Romance came back and gave a big "fuck you" to expectations. I mean, The Foundations of Decay gives it all away. They've been playing a vast array of songs, some of which we've barely heard or they haven't played in years. Sister to Sleep, Fake Your Death, Mastas of Ravenkroft, Heaven Help Us, Bury Me in Black, Desert Song, Demolition Lovers. There's clips of Frank, Ray, and Mikey all playing in front of their kids. Frank and Gerard's piss and vinegar shirts, Ray wearing a Mikey Fuckin Way t-shirt, everyone hugging and laughing with each other, Frank literally saying he's having so much fun that he wants to keep playing, Gerard coming out in the most insane outfits, all of them just constantly smiling like a bunch of wonderstruck children.

So, no. MCR isn't the same. But they're having fun. And they're ridding themselves of what My Chemical Romance once was. There's bits and pieces still left that they'll still use but, for the most part, they're tearing down what once was and building something new. For all they knew, this could have all gone down in flames but they don't care because they're who they want to be. And they're giving the middle finger to expectations and to anyone who dares to say that MCR isn't good enough or was better before.

Nostalgia is no good when it blinds you to the better things in the present.

#THEM!!! #mcr

[nervousmiseryy]

i know we've talked a lot about MCR and their rebellion against the nostalgia circle jerking of WWWY, but i think it's super important to consider it alongside hayley williams' speech, which happened around 20 minutes before MCR's set.

i think it's important because they were both fighting similar wars in the beginning. they were fighting to be respected in a genre that they were helping to catapult into the public consciousness. they were both treated like shit by their peers, villified by the media and disrespected by 'fans' in the scene, and only by prioritising their own creativity and art and by cultivating a fan base that appreciated it, did they manage to shake that shit off.

wwwy is a festival created for the sake of those looking to relive the emo days of yesterdecade. and that's fine. there's nothing wrong with nostalgia, and nostalgia tours - if the years you're reliving are good ones. if they're the best you have to offer.

for paramore and mcr, the best is yet to come. for paramore, the noughties were filled with misogyny and sexism, and now there's less of that. for mcr, the noughties were filled with homophobia and pressure to conform, and now there's less of that too. for them both, the early 2000s was a period of time where they had to work harder than everyone else to get a foot in the door.

and in 2022, you have them headline your nostalgia festival, because guess who kept selling all their tickets and releasing good music while the sexist, homophobic creeps kept falling into obscurity, or put behind bars, or cancelled on twitter? guess who's still big enough to pull those emo crowds?

paramore is. and mcr is.

#mcr #paramore

[nervousmiseryy]

2002 - Forever

#mcr

[nervousmiseryy]

THANK YOU

#mcr

[nervousmiseryy]

frank survived a near death experience six years ago and severe injury since then, having to take delicate precautions to this day to make sure he’s still able to play, and yet he performs almost every night wishing the shows were longer so he could keep playing, and then plays even more during his free time. he withstood everything that was thrown at him on top of a lifelong disability and yet he never let it slow him down in the slightest. the contrast in the energy he had during old mcr shows vs now is the result of years he spent learning to care for himself and adjusting to the things that were thrown on top of already existing hardship, which must’ve taken an unimaginable level of patience and passion. no matter what he goes through he always manages to carry it with him while pushing past it, letting its weight bleed into his passion. “i am forever changed, i am forever changing” is exactly what we mean when we say he’s the beating heart.

#he truly is the most passionate motherfucker there is #the way playing music is like breathing to him #so he does everything he can to be able to do it #he's awesome :')

[nervousmiseryy]

Anyone else ever think about how every single member of mcr aged out of the 27 club when literally no one thought they would and now they're all playing onstage again with each other but this time with crow's feet on their faces and their families watching from wings and their kid's drawings taped to the amps instead of getting blackout drunk and overmedicating to cope with being on stage and wishing to die young and alone and burning themselves up and out to claw a place in the scene until they were nuclear shadows of people. The hotel curtains are wide fucking open, everyone. I'm going to go put my head through some masonite

#it gets better :') #mcr

[nervousmiseryy]

not just Gerard’s joy while wearing the dress but the rest of the band still just being. so normal. something about this has touched me deep in my soul. Mikey and Gerard sharing a mic during Vampire Money. Frank going over to bump his forehead against Gee’s. The casualness of it all. The ease and the love and the understanding. They’ve been friends for 20 years—40 years, for Mikey—and they just. they all know. Gerard wears a dress onstage and there is no shame or embarrassment or jokes about it. No one tries to not stand next to them. They jump around and strut and do twirls, and their best friends and their brother watch them with big big smiles on their faces because they know. They know.

#they know!!! #mcr

[nervousmiseryy]

thinking about ray and frank’s weirdo guitar partnership and how it’s the heart of mcr. they give life to gerard’s vision in a literal musical sense but also in that mcr could not have meant what mcr means without the very specific way their styles work together

#THEM!!! #their dynamic makes me insane in the best way posible

[nervousmiseryy]

MILFS ON TOUR EUROPEAN SUPERCUT: BOYLOVE EDITION

[nervousmiseryy]

frank stans are incapable of being slightly normal about him but that's partly because music journalists are also incapable of being normal about him. i think they're often a little nonplussed and bemused by gerard even if they find him fascinating, and even when he's being open there's a little bit of a protective distance there. but frank doesn't know how to be anything other than utterly candid and the bastard's charisma stats are FULLY maxed out in one-on-one conversation, which put together make him pure white crack for journalists. from "you could imagine him shooting you dead" to winning over dan ozzi (who didn't even like mcr) right down to tom bryant's clear frank bias in not the life it seems lmao

[nervousmiseryy]

high off my absolute gourd just watched this video where frank picks up rays guitar part so smoothly and seamlessly for him after ray misses, and ray looks so proudly at frank!! im staring into my orb thinking about how frank and rays guitar parts aren’t just support and melody, they weave and interchange with each other like two unlikely friends shaking hands to band together to fight a common enemy (bells tingling over an ancient memory that remembers frank saying that playing live felt like he was fighting for his life) And how important it is that Ray felt like he could trust Frank to have his back while playing these songs especially when they were first starting to write together and i’m going insane. theres so much weight in trusting a stranger to fight alongside you and feel confident enough that they would handle their piece with care. ray is not only able to translate gerard’s thoughts into melody but ray and frank also share a common language that’s unique to each other in the creation of their art and you can see that in the way their respective parts communicate to and with each other in the music and onstage FUCK. i’m just vibing over how harmoniously frank and ray fit together as guitar players like this really is a once in a lifetime band. basically:

[nervousmiseryy]

“ and somehow i’ve managed to find six people that, aren’t going away, that aren’t gonna go away any time soon… they just…

[nervousmiseryy]

5 minutes of chris mccarrell being an amazing percy from act 1 of the lightning thief musical. the amount of persassy he channelled….