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being held would be so cool. wish physical touch was real

#me cause she’s 3 hours away all summer

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the orange by wendy cope 🍊

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#lesbian colorsss 🤞🤞

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People forget that while yes, Hozier is some kind of heartbreakingly poetic ancient God, he is also just some random Irish guy in his 30s named Andrew

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“she should be at the club” well i should be in the green house party paintings by salman toor

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fellatio is such an awesome word. sounds like a pasta. but be careful! wouldnt want to order that at a restaurant ... lest some nasty little creature get ahold of that thang

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EMILY HOW ARE THINGS are we so excited to see our gf hozier ??? give me a life update how is that girl tell me everything

omg i haven’t checked tumblr in a few days and suddenly get the urge to and see a message from THE betsy !!! i’m very excited to see hozier i’ve been listening to his album on repeat so i know the lyrics and everything when i’m there 😏😏 hbu are you excited ??? it’s gonna be a road trip fr for youuu that’s so exciting

#for me it’s only like 30 min away #😭😭 #the girl is good !!! we’re still really close it’s just tough rn cause i don’t get to see her a lot :(( #BOOOOO #but i love my wife 😮‍💨🙏 #hbuuu how is college how is life ?? :))) did you enjoy spring break 🤞🤞 #also did you watch Zayn on hot ones ? that was a fun video i had an obsession w hot ones for like 2 weeks and binged them #and then i saw ZAYN WAS ON IT !! i was like wait what is this new or old #and it was new #i know he’s ur fav ms. zaynsclitoris #anyways i adore youuuu give me a life update too !! :))) i can’t wait for the concert #ask #betsy boop #okay just realized i actually posted yesterday #maybe i post without even realizing it’s the tumblr girl blood

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shoutout to crossdressing, jerking off, pain meds, 7$ beverage, and music for keeping me from killing myself at every minor inconvience

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Heterosexuality is when a man with a beard kisses a man without one

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#ngl keep that to yourself cause i’ll just be jealous i’m not smoking too 😔😔 #but first option always 💯💯 unless it’s like a playground or smth obviously 😭

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it’s called mwahahaha bcos i give you a little kiss before embarking on my evil plans

#how do you ppl come up with stuff like this

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i say "godspeed, soldier" way too much for someone who puts their faith in neither god nor the military

#MEEEE ME ME

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having an experience