obsidian-blvck

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I love life now

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“love those who treat you well and forget the ones who don’t”

— unknown (hatin)

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I feel like I really did kill a part of myself that day. Never did I feel so weak, so sad, so pathetic, so betrayed. All those feelings caused me to want to die, I've always been so scared to do it before, but I really was determined to that night. After days of intensive care, I survived. But looking back at it now, I think i killed the person I was at that time. The person I never want to be again. I hope I did at least.

I can now genuinely say I'm starting to love life again.

#personal

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[obsidian-blvck]

by  Hana Knizova

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“Someday you’ll find someone special again. People who’ve been in love once usually do. It’s in their nature.”

— Nicholas Sparks, Message in a Bottle

[obsidian-blvck]

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“After awhile you could get used to anything.”

— Albert Camus, The Stranger (via philosophyquotes)

Book Recommendation: No One Ever Asked by Katie Ganshert

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Me, re reading my simp post, crying over a loser in disgust

#personal

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“Comet”

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“Difficult relationships come into our lives for a reason. No one would choose them, certainly. But if we let them, they can teach us how to be flexible with others and more forgiving.”

— Joan Bauer

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Finally.

I can feel myself falling out of love. For real this time. Not just saying it to try to convince myself. I had a dream about the for the first time since the last time I saw you. In it, you wanted me back and you held on to me, hugging me tight. Usually my heart would melt and I'd embrace you tighter, but this time all I felt was... Uncomfortable. Like a complete stranger was holding me. Even in my dream I finally stopped loving you. I finally deleted all your pictures and videos.. There weren't many to begin with. I deleted your number and the text threads. Your messages on twitter and on Instagram. I threw away everything you've given me. That necklace you gave me for Christmas. That birthday card, those wooden roses you got me at the German festival, do you remember? The ones you said wouldn't die, just like your love for me? Trash. It was so easy to throw them away now. I couldn't do it a few months ago. I am still kind of sad though, not because I miss you or anything, I don't anymore, but because I loved you with the kind of love I wish you gave me. I would've thrown my whole life away for you if I had to. You'd probably wouldn't believe me if I told you that I really did think of you as the love of my life. The man I wanted to marry. But now I just wonder why? Why did i put you in such a high pedestal? Why did I adore you that much? You're nothing special. That craziest part about all this is that from the beginning I knew you weren't shit. But I somehow fell for you anyway. It took falling out of love with you to make me realize it again. Love is blind.

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New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.

Lao Tzu (via philosophyquotes)

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How can you say "I still love you" "let's start over" and this is the energy you're giving me.

Bump pass. Haha

#personal

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"Can you see right though?

Or could I hide from you?

Hide it from you

If you only knew...

All the time that I waited...

Love that I wasted...

Wasted on you."

#my music #lyrics