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wrote a long damn tirade about why i don't see "lorenz jr." as familial and it's very much in a "successor" of scientific research sense it's too long to just post on twitter exclusively so i'm copy pasting if anyone on here is interested eh

i'll attempt to explain how i view the dysfunctional mentorship, 1. researchers need successors who will continue expanding on their work 2. external public opinion as a major part of the conflict past only "stealing" 3. 2 stubborn people who refute the truth unveiled the moment it goes beyond scientific research 4. similar fear of betrayal/abandonment

(i obviously love alva so i'll start with consideration of his feelings first)

let me preface this reasoning with a description of alva's ONCE:

"Scientific research can never be completed by one person. Along the way, we need close friends, opponents, and inheritance."

alva wanted luca to be the successor of his researches or at the very least, was willing to give not only funds, but everything he could to him as his beloved student, that much is a fact (official character description) "But just when he was going to give everything, he was accused and betrayed by his beloved student."

when it comes to "succession", alva's fear of mortality, the death of his loved ones and running out of time seems established, cumulate this with accepting to come back from death when a god asks, multiple costumes that deal with death, risks and rebirth, a deep wish to rail against the unforgiving times

it's also very clear that alva was "insulating" more than the truth about the past, "why did he think I always got it wrong" "what are you afraid of, being robbed first?!" the relationship took a turn when alva seemingly started denying experiments (stopped signing) while not giving an explanation for it and instead, blunt harsh words (that he is aware of, character day letter confirming this bluntness and him not considering personal feelings when it comes to experiments, (which is ultimately his downfall from not considering his own either.) )

overprotectiveness should then be considered, but toward who precisely?

a mentorship is built on empathy, trust and understanding, a two-way street of learning from each other.

said trust was broken the moment luca demanded more answers that could be found in stealing documents, something that alva apparently entirely allowed to happen in the first place by refusing to speak publically and incriminate anyone to the police either, hard to believe he was willfully ignorant of it since he even appears in luca's very own trailer looking on to him in the doorway!

perhaps, driven by a mindset as a mentor would:

"he must come to his own conclusions with sufficient data."

which is far from fair to luca, who ended up having to rely on the opinions of others when it came to alva's feelings, the ultimately missing data, having to bring the dispute to the public as well, but most importantly there's one question i'm in need of asking

who called him "Lorenz jr." exactly?

a sentence taken from the official character introduction of luca: "a lot of people thought he would be the inventor's successor." "many people expected him to inherit the mantle of the great inventor."

many people in the city thought of luca as "Lorenz jr." and luca seemingly took pride in the words as well, but...were those ever alva's own words? someone who had his words twisted before (and it's a way more biased guess of mine feel free to ignore, but would a man who was accused of stealing before and betrayal sincerely call the son of his deceased friend "his" in public ? when alva feels responsible as well and believes "it should have died with the last generation" ? would it not imply that alva denies luca his own agency as a person separate from his father? it only reinforces the cycle of guilt further, which does not make sense when alva refused to go to the academy to teach precisely because of this memory )

if the dispute had to be brought to the public in the first place for the slighest chance of an answer and the confrontation resulted in being shoved against a bookshelf violently, can we assume that alva himself never dared speak his feelings, until it was too late? inevitably from the wounds of the past, for not having probed enough, not having said enough and inevitably, repeating the same mistakes by fear of betraying luca, attempting to protect each other from the truth only causing destruction in the process

there is a strong issue of projection from both of them onto the other, it's a story about the mandela effect/rashomon effect in the first place

while alva was haunted by herman, tried to seal away the memory and inevitably carried a level of guilt toward the situation and attempted to give back what he could to luca, the latter also didn't seek the truth either

"I may not care about the truth of that man's death, but Alva Lorenz,"

in the very same letter, if luca had known the circumstances of the fallout between him and alva, the situation would have probably never escalated but alva was unwilling to give it either way, it's a dead-end for mutually-exclusive stubborn people

with luca's exclusive (7. Mutual Feelings) and obsessive nature, the search for the truth was hampered by the strongest feelings toward his mentor even from the very first cover letter, from the very first "chance meeting" where alva was apparently moved to have the most passionate discussion with a young man he didn't know at all, that would have lasting effects on them both, a meeting that was described in the now retconned description of alva ONCE as "god's will", the nature of the encounter was nothing but fate, with alva unknowing of luca's parentage, a resonance of souls that took place due to fate, told over and over again multiple times

"I understand why Lorenz was willing to part with so much"

the thing is, luca has never called alva anything else, his last name being used still, the closest amount of familiarity is that of competitors, of now research rivals, because this is what they are, even as warden and winter cicada! even working as jailers with conflicting ideals and different definition of the truth!

now one thing that is conveniently left out often is the following sentence right after lorenz jr, and i will add quotes that i believe are equally important

"I don't want to and never will be him!"

"5. Coupling: There will only be a resonance of wisdom when the souls are comparable." "6. Calibration: There are different calibration standards for each trial."

"only hyenas seek out collaborators."

"A diary: I've finally become a student of Lorenz with a manuscript as consideration. But one day he'll realize that I'm worth much more than those manuscripts."

luca wanted to be recognized by alva.

not by anyone else, not by some other people who he believes "are no more than animals, no, worse than insects" for not thinking for themselves

he wanted alva to recognize him for who he is, not for who he could be, not for the shadow of his father and certainly not for who everyone assumes him to be

but the worst of all, would be to become the same person as his father, to stop considering other people in his search of the ideal that only dreamers want to reach, to not consider other people's feelings which is why he tried so desesperately to confront alva about it. why else muster such intense feelings about it if not because luca wanted to know the depths of alva's heart? luca is also described with "a rare empathy" in his files when it came to charles'? he wanted to know the truth of his mentor's heart

"even as the current struck his brain, i never got the answer."

what was the answer he wanted?

would a hermit be shown blushing getting a christmas gift for a prisoner with hearts floating around his head and repeatedly caring for him if the feeling was not love?

TLDR:

it's love, a difficult and pure, desire to be seen, reciprocated love of two people who want to stand side-by-side as equals but are fated to never be

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updated it finally!

haven't updated my fic list in a while. once i finish the fic i'm working on atm i'll do that (so probably today if nothing goes wrong)

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haven't updated my fic list in a while. once i finish the fic i'm working on atm i'll do that (so probably today if nothing goes wrong)

#rambles

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OH ALSO I WANT TO ADD THAT I REREAD YOUR WORKS VERY VERY VERY FREQUENTLY, ESPECIALLY THE HANGOVER/BLINDSPOT ONES THEY HAVE SUCH A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART

the rereading is so much sometimes I love to do it too 😭 makes me happy to know people do that with my fics too

#ask response

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i love the things you write with all my heart and it makes me want to write my own so bad.. theres nothing stopping me, and im not particularly worried about skill or anything, im just lazy as fuck and everytime i imagine something and then swoon and go "wow i should write this 💞" i just continue to lay in bed and go on with my day without doing anything haha. maybe one day!!

anyways im not the best with using words to describe how i feel but , my first works of yours i read were the hangover/blindspot ones and they permanently changed my brain chemistry. i think about them daily, and i am not exaggerating that. i eventually read your dmspot things too, i put them off for a while because im not too big a fan of dm and t&i in general at all, but theyve done a very good job at softening me up to them a bit, to the point i (for the most point) dont actively avoid reading things about dm anymore lol

and the cinnaseph one !!! i adore that skin i wasnt expecting to see anyone write with it especially not in a setting like that, and its so cute :( i felt so bad for aesop the whole time bc i resonated w him soo bad and hrgrhgdghf the whole thing just melted my heart in all honesty.. i wonder if joseph will ever know just how much aesop is going to think about that event and him afterwards, sweet thing

Took me a while to think of how to respond because HDGSHSGAHGA KYAAAA. I never get asks here at all and much less so detailed thoughts of people about my fics 😭

I'm so happy every time someone says they like any of my Blindspot fics, regardless of what Joseph I use in it. Hangoverspot seems to be a hit with everyone though hahahahah. I hope you do read the dmspot ones, since I consider a lot if them to be my favorites (especially ma petit fleur. I consider it my best written thing up to date). They're my go to to write for joscarl when I use Blindspot.

Yes the cinnaseph one. I tend to project onto Blindspot from time to time so a lot of things written about him are definitely easier to relate to sometimes. The cinna skin was also just so cute I couldn't resist not writing something with it! (that fic was written for someone I don't talk to anymore and I'm glad other people love it too, does make me feel better about it hsgsgsgsgs)

And on writing: it is actually a task to sit down and do it the first time. I've been writing since I was 11 and actively doing this in fandom spaces since I was 12, so I've been here and doing it for a very long time. Getting that first push can be a lot sometimes whether you're doing it for the first time or you're going into a new fandom and getting the hang of the characters for the first time. It might seem scary, but once you break that ice the first time, it becomes easier, even when there are bumps on the road.

#ask response #so happy when people enjoy my Blindspot fics 💕

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you disagreed w me in an intellectually honest way. we're friends now.

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Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

#writing

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I've been thinking about making the zine blog for the dmnoir zine I'm doing, but considering idv fandom here overall is way too small for that, I'll just leave a link for the Twitter acc here.

It's a free open-call zine, more info about it in carrd on the profile! Interest check will start today!

link

#identity v #idv #dmnoir

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Y E A H

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Happy birthday me!!! All the seers I like with their respective lil lover...

#identity v #idv seer

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I don’t know which author needs to hear this right now but even if you never update your wip i would never regret reading it a time of joy is never wasted

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#it's D.M. #I'm safe he's my rich boy and will manipulate the fuck out of everyone

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went on a shopping spree that I shouldn't have, now I'll be receiving a noodle stopper Aesop and D.M. and Noir figures from the t&i mystery box. I am irresponsible but I am free and happy with my dmnoir figures that will have a mini shrine at this point, especially with the figures now. I will go ham on this

#dmnoir #they'll be so cute together #gotta print out more pictures with them and make it look cute there

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ao3 writers staring at their inboxes 0.2 seconds after posting a new fic

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A teenager gets sent to join a summer camp, unaware that it’s actually a cult.

#alvaluca at some point probably #i just think it would be funny #herman got sick of teen Luca's bullshit and just sends him there #knowing Alva is a part of it so he's like 'yea i know him so luca will be fine' #while luca wants to kill the old man #but then he's like 'wait the hermit is kinda hot and knows sience' #funny and weird at the same time

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👒💉 Lady Truth and Risktaker

#emmaemi #identity v

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I think idv fandom should embrace the "just leave a comment" fest because man, the writers here are absolutely not appreciated much

#idv #identity v #fr there's so little comments on a lot of fics especially new ones #y'all need to show more love to writers 😭