owestwind

[owestwind]

ATONEMENT (2007) dir. Joe Wright

#IMAGERY.

[owestwind]

anyways, i think the answer to the question posed by sk is still yes, but also i don't think the question was ever truly meant to be answered by tommy.

yapping at my boyfriend about the recurring theme of escaping one's roots/past across pb and hurt my own feelings thinking about how violently so many of lizzie's attempts to do so have been cordoned off.

#he's said in interviews that lizzie was supposed to be this throwaway that became so much more #and ultimately she *does* escape ( so long as it isn't undone ) #and as a relatively powerful woman for the era

[owestwind]

the tortured poets department sentence starters.

i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me.

i love you, it's ruining my life.

my husband is cheating. i wanna kill him.

thought of calling you, but you won't pick up.

who's gonna hold you like me?

who's gonna know you, if not me?

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me.

everyone we know understands why it's meant to be. 'cause we're crazy.

who else is gonna know me?

i should've known it was a matter of time.

we could've played for keeps this time.

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me.

he told me i'm better off, but i'm not.

fuck it if i can't have him.

i might just die, it would make no difference.

fuck it if i can't have us.

'cause fuck it, i was in love.

i stopped trying to make him laugh.

how much sad did you think i had in me?

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it.

just how low did you think i'd go before i'd self-implode?

you swore you love me, but where were the clues?

i'm just mad as hell 'cause i loved this place.

i forget if this was ever fun.

no, i'm not coming to my sense.

i know he's crazy, but he's the one i want.

i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning.

i'll tell you something about my good name - it's mine alone to disgrace.

you ain't gotta pray for me.

no, you can't come to the wedding.

it's gonna be alright, i did my time.

i will never lose my baby again.

ain't no way i'm gonna screw up now that i know what's at stake.

they said i was a cheat. i guess it must be true.

yes, i'm haunted, but i'm feeling just fine.

tell me i'm dispicable, say it's unforgivable.

am i allowed to cry?

i keep recalling things we never did.

someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts.

if it's make-believe, why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

they're gonna crucify me anyway.

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

you don't get to tell me about "sad."

if you wanted me dead, you should've just said.

who's afraid of little old me?

at all costs, keep your good name.

you don't get to tell me you feel bad.

so tell me everything is not about me, but what if it is?

say they didn't do it to hurt me, but what if they did?

i'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all said?

i'm fearsome, and i'm wretched, and i'm wrong.

you caged me, and then you called me crazy.

i am what i am 'cause you trained me.

i can fix him. no really, i can.

come close, i'll show you heaven.

trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man.

you said i'm the love of your life.

well, you took me to hell, too.

what we thought was for all time was momentary.

are they second-hand embarrassed that i can't get out of bed 'cause something counterfeit's dead?

you're the loss of my life.

i can handle my shit.

he said he'd love me all his life, but that life was too short.

i can do it with a broken heart.

i'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague.

i cry a lot, but i am so productive. it's an art.

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart.

i'm sure i can pass this test.

they said, "babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and i did.

'cause i'm miserable! and nobody even knows!

was any of it true?

who the fuck was that guy?

they just ghosted you. now you know what it feels like.

i don't even want you back.

you didn't measure up in any measure of a man.

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

'cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden.

i would've died for your sins. instead i just died inside.

i'll forget you, but i'll never forgive.

i haven't come around in so long, but i'm making a comeback to where i belong.

this town is fake, but you're the real thing.

the crown is stained, but you're the real queen.

you're the new god we're worshipping.

it's hell on earth to be heavenly.

#+ PROMPTS. #let's pretend i didn't make this blog and then immediately DIP

[owestwind]

THE ENGLISH (2022)

#✴ STUDY.

[owestwind]

#✴ IMAGERY.

[owestwind]

Peaky Blinders | 5.05

#the way this scene lives in my brain #she sees so clearly the spiral he's dragging them down

[owestwind]

“Don’t look away. Look straight at everything. Look it all in the eye, good and bad.”

— Henry Miller

#!!!!!

[owestwind]

lizzie you would have loved edith whart.on

#it's also just an interesting commentary on the dynamics between social station and the freedom to explore concepts like love #but !!!

[owestwind]

peaky blinders (2022, dir. anthony byrne)

#tbt. #blood/ #LIKE

[owestwind]

george ezra lyrics / wanted on voyage edition

❛  what are you waiting for?  ❜

❛  we found ourselves some treasure and threw it all away.  ❜

❛  you, for you, i'd leave it all.  ❜

❛  give me one good reason why i should never make a change.  ❜

❛  if you just say the words, i'll up and run to you.  ❜

❛  my friends and family, they don't understand.  ❜

❛  i'd better act quick and change my ways.  ❜

❛  i've got a new plan to get myself a break.  ❜

❛  we're losing memories that i can't replace.  ❜

❛  they say they're tired of me running in circles. they say it's time we took a break.  ❜

❛  i still long to hold them once more.  ❜

❛  every time you have to go, shut my eyes and you know i'll be lying right by your side.  ❜

❛  i want to hear all about it, get it all off your chest.  ❜

❛  you don't have to be scared. you don't need a plan of what you want to do.  ❜

❛  your world keeps spinning and you can't jump off but i will catch you if you fall.  ❜

❛  i hate to hear that you're feeling low.  ❜

❛  i hate to hear that you won't come home.  ❜

❛  why do you treat me so?  ❜

❛  means i'm coming home again, my friend.  ❜

❛  did your friends tell you i was wasting up your time and now you're wasting mine?  ❜

❛  oh, did i send a shiver down your spine?  ❜

❛  i've been busy working on my scheme to teach you how to hurt.  ❜

❛  i wouldn't recommend what i have done.  ❜

❛  my darling, stand by your gun.  ❜

❛  how long will you go on and waste your time on lessons learnt?  ❜

❛  you may think they're a demolition expert when they're finished with your self-esteem.  ❜

❛  well nonetheless i must confess that i'm the mess that has been left to save you. your situation must be dire.  ❜

❛  although you're not my friend, i love you till the end.  ❜

❛  your majesty, why do you got it in for me?  ❜

❛  since you're gone, i've been watching paint dry.  ❜

❛  everybody's chasing a beauty they don't have and i'm chasing you.  ❜

❛  everybody's searching for a reason and i'm searching for you.  ❜

#✴ PROMPTS. #anyways

[owestwind]

lizzie you would have loved edith whart.on

#i am reading glimpses of the moon atm and !!! #mobile.

[owestwind]

yapping at my boyfriend about the recurring theme of escaping one's roots/past across pb and hurt my own feelings thinking about how violently so many of lizzie's attempts to do so have been cordoned off.

#honestly moooost of the shelby family has been stalled in their progress toward this by tommy #which is interesting in its own because sk never feels ( to me ! ) intentionally pessimistic in the way he explores this question #and then i just kind wind up on a spiral thinking about power dynamics and how the period itself impacts this #i.e. lizzie's attempt at empowerment in accepting a transactional marriage ( something she is quickly miserable in ) vs. her choice to leave #which aren't inherently tied to said theme but *gestures wildly*

[owestwind]

POLLY FAILING TO OPEN THE SAFE requested by @twvstedsouls

#✴ VIS. #✴ ᵈʸⁿ / POLLY. #lizzie quietly becoming the bones of their operation is my favorite thing

[owestwind]

still developing her but the bare basics :

lizzie dropped out at the age of sixteen to help support her family. she has significant gaps beyond that due to inconsistent attendance and very little intervention.

she turned to sexwork in her late teens and twenties to support herself before her work as a secretary for the shelby company enabled her to quit entirely. she has deeply mixed feelings toward that era of her life and it has significantly altered her perspective of herself.

using library desktops, lizzie taught herself basic computer literacy and a comfortable grasp on a litany of organizational programs and tools.

lizzie is attending GCSE prep courses with half-hearted aspirations to segue into a career as an art dealer.

cobbling together a modern verse ( and a few others ) soonish

#verse info. #i feel like it's not too too different from her original canon. i do think a modern lizzie has a little more freedom in momentum #i could see this version of her having aspirations of a home in which she could foster children from similar backgrounds #and slowly grow her love of literature and art #though she is still pretty heavily plagued by internalized stigma #she's still hardened by her experiences and still secretly a sap barred off from the right words to express it

[owestwind]

what color does your love feel like?

deep staining red

ripped out confessions, warm velvety whispers and a heart like an open wound. your love flows out like dripping blood, beautiful, flawed and twisted. it's gut wrenching, the type of painfully dramatic feeling that makes you clutch your chest, picturing dramatic monologues about love and loving and big screen over the top scenes of sobbing into your pillow until you fall asleep. it rips out of you, clawing its way up your throat more so than tumbling out. sticky words that just need to be let out, feelings so big they don't fit inside you. your love isn't easy, it's a true bloody mess, dripping and staining everything it touches in a desperate attempt to be seen, to be felt, to be loved back. and you, you love so hard, so deeply, so much for someone who carries all that pain. atlas holding up the world, how are you ? is your love still flowing ? is your heart still open ? still pumping and bleeding and dripping with blood and tears ? still painting your beautiful pictures and writing your love letters in deeply personal red ink ? make it in your image, keep going, it's okay. maybe one day the whole world can be red and loved and beautiful just like you.

tagged : stole it from leera's blog

tagging : steal it

#something something soft women who have been hardened #no one can convince me she isn't built for rose-tinted nothings #anyways excuse me while i gutturally scream into an empty room

[owestwind]

so many thoughts about the implications of lizzie's short-lived relationship with angel chan.gretta. when confronting arthur about it, she uses the phrase " when lightning strikes ". i am almost certain this is her paraphrasing the english translation of colpo di fulmine, which likens love, specifically a really intense and undeniable kind of love, to a thunderbolt ( which sk would have taken from the godfa.ther ).

#there are obviously a lot more blatant references in other characters but inch resting if angel is also a vague nod to michael #because kay is very much an influence in lizzie's creation and direction #steven i see you and i need to do a reread of that series #and then i am just smitten with how much of a romantic she is. she has such a big dumb soft heart and it causes her so much trouble #i also just love her love and use of language #it develops a lot more in the later series ( likely because literacy is just generally more accessible ) and i just adore that about her #there's also a lot to say of tommy's possessiveness of her ( a recurring theme in their dynamic ) and his willingness to go to war for it

[owestwind]

#this is utterly gorgeous ugh #smoking/ #✴ IMAGERY.