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qzwrites · 3 months

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Bastiaan at the Brothel pt 2

this bit is longer and smutty, directly featuring Lennart's speedrun from virgin to BDSM enjoyer.

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It had been nearly two years earlier that Madam Louisa informed Bastiaan over breakfast that someone had already paid for his entire night. Bastiaan was not in especially high demand at the brothel, though he wasn't in low demand, either, as one of the only men working in any of the brothels in town. There was steady but not quite frequent demand for his specialty services. He usually spent a decent amount of his time watching the common room and glaring at customers who got out of line.

So he was a little surprised that someone would have bought out his entire night. "Are you sure?" Bastiaan asked.

Madam Louisa pulled a sizable purse out of her cleavage and shook it. The coins within sounded like silver, and were obviously numerous. "He paid up front," Madam Louisa said. "So yes. Didn't know your name, but gave a clear enough description, even though he could have stopped at 'male'."

Bastiaan frowned. He didn't remember doing anything out of the ordinary in the past few days, or going anywhere special. But he supposed if someone described him and threw around that kind of coin, they were pretty sure what they wanted.

When they opened for the night, Bastiaan's customer was the first to arrive. He was a tall man, with long black hair tied back with a white ribbon, broad shoulders, and a narrow waist. He looked deathly serious, which was not really a typical look for a customer coming into the brothel. He wasn't particularly handsome, with a long face and a beaky nose, but Bastiaan couldn't deny he found the intense look of the man attractive.

Bastiaan had set up his room ahead of opening, since he knew he wasn't wasting his time or candles, so he led the intense man right back.

When he first started working at the brothel, Bastiaan tried to imitate his colleagues' manner, being friendly and seductive. It had felt awkward and unnatural, and eventually Madam Louisa told him to knock it off.

"You barely have any competition," she told him. "You can afford to be yourself. If customers don't like it, well." She shrugged. "They don't have that many options anyway." That seemed kind of rude to Bastiaan, but once he stopped trying to imitate the other workers, he actually had more customers, and those customers seemed happier. So Bastiaan accepted that part of his appeal was his matter of fact and not at all seductive affect. It was certainly more comfortable than forcing himself to be friendly.

When the tall, intense customer was in his room, Bastiaan asked him, "What did you have in mind for this evening?"

That seemed to startle the man. "I don't know," he said. His voice was deep, and somewhat flat, in contrast to his evident startlement. "What do you usually do?"

Bastiaan frowned. "Did you really book my entire night without having an idea what you wanted?"

"I want you," the man said immediately.

Bastiaan rolled his eyes. "Good, at least you got that much," he said. "Do you have any preferences?" he asked. "Something you've been wanting to try? Any particular reason I caught your eye?"

The man shook his head. "You," he said. He frowned, hopefully having heard himself and realized what an inadequate answer that was. He said, "I saw you in the market, arguing with someone. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I asked who you were, and found out you work here."

Bastiaan frowned again. "You do know this is a brothel, right?"

"It would be difficult not to," the man said, which Bastiaan supposed was fair. Bastiaan's outfit was more-or-less appropriate to wear on the street, but most of the other workers' weren't, and they had passed plenty of Bastiaan's scantily-clad colleagues on the way to his room.

"Just making sure," Bastiaan said. "Since you didn't mention anything about sex."

"I have no sexual experience and do not think I've ever found someone attractive before you," the man said.

"Oh," Bastiaan said. He was a virgin. A loaded, impulsive virgin, perhaps, but Bastiaan had a few different strategies for virgins. It was rare for an older man--that was, a man who didn't look like he'd just started needing to shave the week before--to admit to having no experience at all; usually they at least implied they'd been with a woman. But if this man didn't often find people attractive, that made sense enough. "Then why don't we sit down and talk a little, first," Bastiaan said, gesturing to the bed.

The man sat down on the edge of Bastiaan's bed, stiff in rather a different way than Bastiaan's customers usually were. Bastiaan sat down next to him, close enough for the outside of their thighs to press together. He asked the man, "What's your name?"

"Lennart," the man said, not looking over at him. That was fine; Bastiaan preferred not to look at people's faces when they could look back at him anyway.

"Lennart," Bastiaan said softly. "Why'd you book the whole night?"

"I had the money," Lennart said. "I seemed less likely to regret spending the money than not having enough time with you."

That was sweet, actually, even if Lennart seemed to mean it in a purely logical way. Bastiaan put his hand on Lennart's knee. Lennart was so tense Bastiaan might have worried for his health, if he hadn't already told Bastiaan he was a virgin with no experience even finding people attractive. Still speaking softly, Bastiaan asked, "When did you realize you were attracted to me?"

"I...suppose it must have been between finding out you worked at a brothel and realizing I could afford to pay for an entire night," Lennart said. "I wasn't really conscious of it until I was handing over the money."

Bastiaan smiled. "Really?" he asked.

"I told you I have no experience in these matters," Lennart said stiffly.

"I'm not making fun of you," Bastiaan said, gently squeezing Lennart's knee. Bastiaan wasn't always good at reading people, even after working in a brothel for several years, but he found Lennart's defensiveness obvious enough. "It's just a lot of money to spend without knowing why."

Lennart relaxed minutely. Bastiaan doubted he would have noticed if he wasn't touching Lennart in multiple places. Lennart said, "Yes."

"You'd already paid when I woke up today," Bastiaan said. "Surely you thought about what you might want from me in the hours between then and now."

"Vaguely," Lennart said. "I'm certain you have a better idea of what's possible than I."

Bastiaan laughed. "Yes," he said, "but without knowing what you're interested in, I have to start with the most general possible suggestions."

Lennart shrugged. "We have all night," he said.

"We do," Bastiaan agreed, smiling. "Is it fair to assume you'd like to see me naked?" he asked.

Lennart's hands twitched where they lay in his lap. "Yes," he said. "Please."

"Do you want to undress me?" Bastiaan asked.

After a pause, Lennart said, "I'm unsure I could figure that out at the moment."

Bastiaan laughed. "Fair enough," he said, and stood up. He wasn't very good at strip teases, either, but most of his customers insisted the way he didn't try to force it worked better for them. Lennart seemed to enjoy it, if how wide his eyes got and how tightly he clenched his hands together in his lap were any indication.

While Bastiaan set aside his clothing, he noticed Lennart's hand make an aborted movement toward him. "You can touch me," Bastiaan said. "You paid enough for it."

"I don't want to interrupt," Lennart said, although he did reach over and run his fingers delicately over Bastiaan's ass.

Something Bastiaan had learned in the years he had been working at a brothel was that certain kinds of customers were more interested in attempting to get Bastiaan off than they were in getting themselves off. Something Bastiaan had learned about himself in those years was that when those customers were earnest, and not trying to show off how good they were at sex, it was hotter to him than basically anything else. He could already tell Lennart was going to make a strong attempt at showing Bastiaan a good time, even though he admitted he had no idea what he was doing, and Bastiaan suspected he was going to enjoy it very much no matter how little skill Lennart displayed.

Bastiaan tossed his last article of clothing vaguely in the direction of his wardrobe and trunk, not watching to see if it landed where he aimed, before he climbed onto Lennart's lap, straddling him. Lennart was a bit taller than Bastiaan, but his place in Lennart's lap still put Bastiaan's head above Lennart's. Lennart tentatively brought his hands up to Bastiaan's chest. First, he only rested his hands on Bastiaan's pecs, then he got up the courage to squeeze.

"Would you like to kiss me?" Bastiaan asked, not having to fake the breathy quality of his voice.

"I believe I would," Lennart said. He moved his hands up to Bastiaan's shoulders and pulled him down into kissing range.

Unsurprisingly, Lennart was not a great kisser. He took direction well, though. When Bastiaan told him to use less teeth, or not press so hard, he listened and adjusted his approach. His kissing improved rapidly. He was an excellently enjoyable blend of very attracted to Bastiaan and eager to please Bastiaan.

After long enough making out that they were both hard, Bastiaan pulled back and said, "I think we ought to take your clothes off as well."

"Ah," Lennart said. "Yes." He brought his hands up to his high collar and started undoing the fastenings.

Bastiaan had never noticed in himself a marked preference for men or women. He tended to find himself inclined more toward the gender of whoever he was with at the moment. As Lennart pulled off his tunic, Bastiaan found himself experiencing one of those shifts again, thinking how attractive men were to him, and what a wonderful example of manhood Lennart was. Unlike Bastiaan, Lennart was tall and lean. He had only a smattering of hair on his chest. His shoulders were broad, though, and his torso tapered down to a narrower waist and hips than Bastiaan's.

Lennart stood to push down his trousers without any apparent hesitation or shyness, which would have been understandable from a virgin. His cock was already quite hard. Like the rest of him, his cock was longer and thinner than Bastiaan's. Bastiaan wondered if Lennart had given any thought to anal sex. Most of Bastiaan's customers wanted him to top, but he had been fucked in the ass enough to know what he liked, and he thought Lennart's cock would be quite pleasant inside him.

Not that he wouldn't enjoy topping for Lennart, if that was what Lennart wanted. Bastiaan always enjoyed customers who were actually attracted to him, not only settling for him because he was the nearest to what they wanted. He got a lot of his business from people who just didn't have many options for male whores, but it wasn't as fun for him.

Bastiaan kicked Lennart's clothes out of the way and stepped in close to him. He put his hands on Lennart's hips. He stopped short of standing close enough for Lennart's cock to brush against him, but only just. "That's better," he said.

Lennart bent down and kissed him again.

Bastiaan pushed him onto the bed and climbed back into his lap. In this position, with both of them naked, it would have required effort to keep their dicks from coming into contact with each other, and Bastiaan didn't bother. Lennart groaned into his mouth, then brought his hands up to clutch at Bastiaan's hips, pulling him more snugly against his body.

Lennart, Bastiaan could tell, would easily be able to come like this. Bastiaan would probably be able to as well. He ran his hands along Lennart's toned arms and considered what his stamina was probably like. Lennart was a virgin, which meant he'd probably finish quickly but be able to get back to it quickly as well. He was athletic, which usually meant good bodily control, and almost certainly meant he wouldn't be easily worn out by a single round. And he was fixated enough on Bastiaan to immediately pay for an entire night up front, so he would presumably want to keep going.

Bastiaan wrapped his legs around Lennart, locking his ankles together behind him so he had the leverage to grind their dicks together. Lennart moaned into his mouth again. Bastiaan rolled his hips, deliberate and slow. Lennart twitched beneath him. Bastiaan did it again, and again, barely picking up speed. Lennart dug his fingers into Bastiaan's hips, but he didn't have the leverage to fight Bastiaan's pace. He could have, if he'd thought to shift his hands to Bastiaan's ass, but he didn't. Bastiaan kissed him and ground their cocks together until Lennart's was leaking and his breathing was hard and fast. Bastiaan pulled back from the kiss just enough to murmur against Lennart's lips, "Are you going to come for me?" Lennart groaned, and only a moment later he did.

He came hard enough to get semen on their chests, even though there was little room between their bodies. And he kept coming, longer than Bastiaan anticipated, as though he'd never done so before. It was hot and slick and, to be frank, probably would have been kind of disgusting if Bastiaan hadn't spent years fucking people for money. Bastiaan leaned back, grabbed one of Lennart's hands, and pulled it into the sticky mess between them. He only had to wrap Lennart's fingers around his cock before Lennart realized what he was doing.

Lennart made a desperate noise and lurched forward to kiss Bastiaan again, even as he tightened his grip on Bastiaan's cock. Considering it was covered in his come, Lennart's firm grip slid up Bastiaan's cock in an extremely pleasant way. Bastiaan twitched, which seemed to please Lennart. Yes, he was definitely the kind of customer who enjoyed getting Bastiaan off.

It didn't take long, with such enthusiasm, for Bastiaan to come and add his own more modest contribution to the mess between their bodies.

After a moment, Lennart pulled away from Bastiaan's mouth to catch his breath. After a few more moments, he said, "I hope that doesn't mean my time is up."

"You paid for the whole night," Bastiaan said. "If you don't want to be done, you don't have to be done." He traced a finger down Lennart's neck. "I assumed you'd want to try a few more things, at least."

"Yes," Lennart agreed, somewhat hoarsely. His cock was already showing signs of life again, twitching against Bastiaan's balls.

"Do you have any ideas now?" Bastiaan asked. He traced his fingers along the sweaty hair at the nape of Lennart's neck. "Or could I offer a selfish suggestion?"

"Be as selfish as you want," Lennart said.

Again, sweet, but ignorant enough Bastiaan would ignore it. Still, it meant Bastiaan skipped over a few suggestions he'd usually offer a virgin first, and said, "I'd really like it if you fucked me in the ass."

Lennart's eyes widened. "Oh," he said.

"You don't have to," Bastiaan said. "But if I didn't at least ask, I'd be kicking myself for weeks."

"Really?" Lennart asked.

Bastiaan smiled at him. "One of the things about having sex for money is, you learn what you like," he said. "And your dick looks like a size and shape I would very much like inside me."

"Oh," Lennart said again. It came out hoarse and broken again. He cleared his throat before going on, "Show me what to do."

Again, Lennart proved a capable student, good at taking direction and desperate to please Bastiaan. He fingered Bastiaan slick and open like it was the greatest gift he'd ever been given, the most important task he'd ever undertake, and barely seemed aware his own cock was once again fully erect and steadily leaking.

If Bastiaan was being truly selfish, he would have asked Lennart to take him from behind, which he tended to enjoy more. But as much as Lennart liked pleasing Bastiaan, they didn't know each other, and Lennart had to take Bastiaan's word for it about what he enjoyed. Riding Lennart, so he could watch Bastiaan enjoy himself and see the only person he'd ever been attracted to bounce on his dick, would undoubtedly be a better experience. If he came back, Bastiaan told himself, he'd ask Lennart to take him from behind.

"Oh, god," Lennart groaned as Bastiaan eased down onto his cock.

It might have been good, actually, that so few of Bastiaan's customers wanted to do this, because Bastiaan really enjoyed it too much to be much use. Luckily, he was by now quite certain Lennart would enjoy the way Bastiaan lost his head. The initial intrusion was always the worst part, in that it pushed every other thought right out of Bastiaan's head, to be replaced with the extremely base thoughts of so good and too much and a little more chasing each other around on a loop. It took real effort not to immediately push himself back up and start riding Lennart as hard as he could. Instead, Bastiaan forced himself to focus on Lennart's face. It took a moment for his eyes to align properly.

Lennart was completely dumbstruck. Bastiaan had seen priests in the middle of visions look less enraptured. Lennart's grip on Bastiaan's hips was tight, his thumbs digging in beneath Bastiaan's hip bones. Still, Lennart gathered the wherewithal to speak before Bastiaan did, and asked, "How is it?"

Bastiaan moaned, "So good, god, you have no idea." Bastiaan typically had trouble obliging people who wanted their whores to be slutty and empty-headed. Like this, however, it was all too easy to start babbling about how good it felt. "Oh, fuck, oh god," he went on when he started moving. "Oh, that's good, that's so good, god!"

"Good," Lennart said breathlessly. He groaned. "This is very nice."

Bastiaan tried to laugh, but he didn't have enough breath to do so. Lennart had started thrusting up into Bastiaan to meet him, driving his cock deeper inside him, and it was just this side of too much. Bastiaan leaned back to brace himself on Lennart's thighs, so Lennart's cock would do more than simply brush his prostate, and felt his cock dribble a bit of pre-come when he got the angle right.

"You are so beautiful," Lennart breathed, which was not a compliment Bastiaan often received. It felt more embarrassing because he could hardly doubt Lennart meant it.

"I'm glad you think so," Bastiaan managed.

That was the end of conversation for the moment; Bastiaan was far too preoccupied to speak. At some point thereafter, one of Lennart's hands left Bastiaan's hip to wrap around his cock, and Bastiaan was quickly trapped between the urge to drive Lennart's cock as deep into him as possible and the urge to fuck into Lennart's hand as hard as possible. After an eternity that wasn't nearly long enough, Bastiaan came. His hands spasmed as he did so, digging his nails into Lennart's thighs. Lennart whimpered, then started coming inside Bastiaan while Bastiaan's body still convulsed around him.

It took a while for Bastiaan to be able to move and think again. Thankfully, Lennart didn't seem to mind the mess, or Bastiaan's dazed collapse onto the bed beside him.

Perhaps as long as half an hour later, Bastiaan roused himself enough to get out a cloth to wipe off all the sweat, semen, and lube. He'd need to change his sheet, but that was why he put away his actual blankets before the brothel opened. He looked at Lennart, who was watching him with the same intense attention as he had been all evening. He silently offered Lennart the soiled cloth.

While Lennart wiped his hands and dick clean, Bastiaan asked him, "So what do you do that you can afford to buy out my whole night but I've never seen you in town before?"

"I'm a mercenary," Lennart said. He unfolded and refolded the cloth so it was relatively clean on the outside, then handed it back to Bastiaan.

"Oh, are you?" Bastiaan asked. He tossed the cloth into the basket he kept next to the bed for that purpose. "I didn't know there were any troupes in town at the moment."

"I work alone," Lennart said.

Bastiaan had traveled with a mercenary troupe, briefly, immediately after the murder of his parents, and was still in contact with the captain of that troupe. Mercenaries might take a job here and there singly, but usually traveled in at least pairs. Bastiaan raised his eyebrows and said, "You must be either very good or very bad, then."

Lennart smiled at that. He said, "Yes," and left it there. He asked, "Have you worked here long?"

"Since I was old enough to," Bastiaan said. He started out running errands during daylight hours, not taking customers until years later.

"Do you like it?" Lennart asked.

Ordinarily when people asked Bastiaan or one of his colleagues if they liked working in the brothel, it was because they had an answer they wanted to hear. Some people wanted to hear their whores say they hated it and wouldn't do it if they had any choice, while some people wanted to hear about how freeing and enjoyable it was. Lennart asked the question like Bastiaan was any other new acquaintance he was getting to know. That was nice enough that Bastiaan told him honestly, "Well enough. Some parts more than others."

Lennart nodded. "That is true for most people, I believe." Bastiaan made an affirmative noise. "What do you usually do?" Lennart asked.

"Well, I'm obviously one of the only options available around here to people who want to hire a man," Bastiaan said. "Other than that, I do a lot of S&M."

"What's that?" Lennart asked, in the exact same politely curious manner.

God, he really didn't know anything, did he? Bastiaan was fairly certain that was the term adults who didn't spend their time in brothels would be likeliest to know. Bastiaan said, "Mostly hurting people who want to be hurt. Only about half of them are in it for sexual gratification, but it's an awkward thing to ask anyone else to do."

Lennart frowned, and asked, "Why would people want to be hurt?"

Bastiaan smiled. "Lots of reasons," he said. "Mostly because it turns them on, but a lot because it can feel nice when you're doing it on purpose. Haven't you ever poked a bruise or wiggled a loose tooth?"

"Oh," Lennart said, and thought for a minute or two. "What kind of...hurting people...do you do most often?"

"Well, a lot of people want some hair-pulling or slapping," Bastiaan said. "Spankings and beatings are pretty common, too. I'm kind of a specialist, though; since I have an affinity for healing magic, we can offer a lot of things other brothels can't."

"Such as?" Lennart asked. It was not lost on Bastiaan that his breathing had sped up again. He supposed it wasn't too surprising that a mercenary would have a strong reaction to violence.

"Things that would be too risky to do without a healer on hand," Bastiaan said. "Choking's a big one, reputable brothels don't allow choking without a healer in the room. Actual bleeding and wound play. I've stabbed and cut open a lot of people, fingered a lot of wounds. I mean, there's still some things I can't heal, but if someone's got an amputation kink they'll probably be a lot happier figuring something out with me than with someone who can't heal them."

"Is that a thing?" Lennart asked. He didn't seem alarmed, which was more than most people when Bastiaan got to talking about it.

"It's an extreme example," Bastiaan said. "But yes. Some people enjoy the pain, and some people enjoy the loss of control. Some people like the fact that their only job is to endure." Bastiaan smiled at Lennart again, because he suspected this last category might be of particular interest to Lennart. "And some people feel like they need to do something to earn the bit they really enjoy, which is when I tell them what a good job they did."

"Mm. This is common enough you do it regularly?" Lennart asked.

"Most brothels offer the safer stuff," Bastiaan said. "I'd have to ask around, but I think about half our customers want it at least sometimes. There aren't as many people who want something dangerous enough to need me--except choking, so many people want choking--but even apart from my regulars, I get some every week."

"Hmm," Lennart said.

"Why?" Bastiaan asked. "Have you thought about it?"

"Not until this conversation," Lennart said. Enough color had risen in his cheeks that Bastiaan knew he didn't find it wholly uninteresting. "I have sometimes been accused of enjoying my work overmuch," he admitted. "Which seems like it was probably hypocritical in at least some cases."

"That makes sense," Bastiaan said. "For how often people ask for it, they're usually fairly ashamed of it." He traced a hand down the center of Lennart's chest, and asked, "Is that something you'd be interested in? Do you want to let me have my way with you, and be my good boy?"

Lennart went very still. Bastiaan didn't know him well enough to tell if that was a good sign or a bad sign, so he waited. Lennart's breathing was a little fast, and his cheeks were still pink, but Bastiaan knew as well as anyone could that arousal and distress sometimes looked disconcertingly similar. Even with his regulars, Bastiaan wasn't always sure. Finally, Lennart said, "I would like to try, at least."

Part of Bastiaan itched to suggest Lennart hurt him, which was not something he had ever actively desired before. He'd done it, of course, and he'd often enjoyed it, but letting a customer take control without supervision was not something they offered without a hell of a down payment, or a long-lasting enough relationship to actually trust said customer. Lord Avis, for instance, was allowed to restrain and beat any of them who did that sort of work, but Brunhild had been essentially his mistress for nearly fifteen years, and Madam Louisa trusted him. It would be unwise in the extreme to let Lennart, a first-time customer who had been a virgin until earlier that night and had never done any sort of S&M, take the lead. Even if Bastiaan found the idea surprisingly appealing.

Bastiaan slid his fingers further down Lennart's body, until Bastiaan reached the edges of his pubic hair and Lennart's breath hitched. Bastiaan asked, "Did you have something in mind?"

"What do you like?" Lennart asked. Bastiaan let his fingers drift further down to stroke the very base of Lennart's cock. Lennart said, "I, ah, liked the idea of you having your way with me."

"Oh?" Bastiaan asked. Of course he did; Lennart really wanted Bastiaan to enjoy himself. "Then how would you feel about taking a beating for me?"

"Good," Lennart said, his voice cracking.

"Oh, really good, hmm?" Bastiaan asked. "I think I'd like to beat you until your entire back is red and tender, how does that sound?" He hardly needed to ask, given how rapidly Lennart's cock was hardening beneath his fingers.

"Also good," Lennart said, face reddening further.

"Good," Bastiaan said. He gave Lennart's cock a teasingly light stroke. "Then when your back is on fire and another strike would break the skin, I'd stop beating you and start fucking you."

Lennart whined, which was delightful. "Please," he said, voice quiet and shaky.

Bastiaan kissed him, immediately nibbling at Lennart's lower lip. Lennart all but melted under him. God, he was sexy. Bastiaan half wished more of his customers were this attractive, and half was glad they weren't. He doubted he could be as good at his job as he was if more of his customers drove him crazy like this.

Bastiaan crawled over Lennart to get out of the bed. Lennart watched him in silence, until Bastiaan pulled open the curtain concealing his dungeon equipment against the wall. Lennart exclaimed, "Oh!"

Bastiaan secured the curtains, then went back to set up the diagonal cross. Most of Bastiaan's dungeon equipment folded flat and had to be pulled out to use, but some of it could stay against the wall during use. The heavier-duty furniture lived in the dedicated dungeon, but enough of Bastiaan's customers came specifically for his ability to break them harder than others could that Madam Louisa had arranged for him to have his own set.

He checked to make sure the cross was secure and would take Lennart's weight, then went over to the wardrobe to get his out his tool chest. It was somewhat annoying to have to do this much prep work, but not scaring off the vanilla customers while still having the flexibility to torture someone was nice. And he knew it was a point in his favor, even for those of his customers who didn't want the more extreme torments, that Bastiaan could plausibly be fucking them in nice, vanilla ways. He had one regular he knew wasn't particularly attracted to men and would have been happier with Mistress Renate, but was too nervous about the idea of someone knowing he liked being whipped to stomach seeing someone who offered nothing at all in the way of vanilla services.

"Come here," Bastiaan said. Lennart leapt to obey. His cock was fully hard again, just from watching Bastiaan set up. Oh, he was cute. "Face the wall. Wrists up here," Bastiaan pointed, "ankles down here. Do you think you can hold this position, or should I tie you up?"

"Tie me up," Lennart said, almost before Bastiaan finished asking.

Bastiaan smiled. Lennart was already leaning against the cross, or Bastiaan would have kissed him again.

The ends of the cross were padded, to make holding on less painful, but there were also metal rings set into the sides to attach things to. Bastiaan strapped Lennart's wrists to the top posts, then bent down to fasten his ankles to the bottoms. "Not too tight?" he asked.

"No," Lennart said.

"Tell me if you start feeling numb or tingly," Bastiaan said.

"Ah, yes," Lennart said.

Bastiaan patted Lennart's shoulder and said, "Good boy." Lennart's next breath was noisy.

Bastiaan wouldn't lie, he did enjoy seeing the expanse of someone's unmarked flesh laid out in front of him. It was satisfying, even when he didn't find someone especially attractive, to know they trusted Bastiaan enough to let themselves be entirely at his mercy. Bastiaan ran his hands along the pale skin of Lennart's back, petting it. "Oh," Bastiaan said, "before we start."

"Mm?"

Perhaps Bastiaan should have mentioned this sooner; Lennart already sounded a little out of it. Some people did find simply being restrained enough to put them under. "This is still supposed to be something you enjoy," Bastiaan said. "I'll stop if you tell me to. But some people like to be able to say 'stop' or 'no' without me actually stopping."

After a moment, Lennart asked, "How does that work?"

"We have a code word," Bastiaan said. He brushed Lennart's tail of hair over his shoulder, so it wouldn't get tangled in the falls of his tools. "Something people are unlikely to say by accident, even when we're pretending they don't want this."

"Ah," Lennart said. "I don't know that that's a concern for me."

No, Lennart didn't seem like the type to want that kind of game. Certainly not the first time, when Bastiaan wouldn't even offer it without being asked. "Still," Bastiaan said. "How about if you say stop or no, I check in with you, but if you say Gustav, I stop immediately. That way if something goes wrong, we'll both know it."

"That seems reasonable," Lennart said.

"Good," Bastiaan said. "So what's the word if you need to stop immediately?"

Lennart huffed, probably impatient. He said, "Gustav."

"That's right," Bastiaan said. He leaned in to press a kiss to the back of Lennart's neck, then murmured, "Good boy."

Bastiaan was not surprised to feel Lennart shiver.

He picked up his lightest flogger. He could start even lighter than that, of course, with the feathers or even his hands, but he suspected Lennart had certain expectations of something Bastiaan had called a beating. He still started slowly, trailing the leather falls across Lennart's upper back. He saw Lennart shiver again. He was interested to see if he could actually beat Lennart right up to the point of bleeding; it wasn't something everyone could actually endure, even if they liked the sound of it.

Lennart made a soft noise after the first real strike. Bastiaan waited to see if he would say something, but he didn't, so Bastiaan hit him again. He let out another grunt, which was similar to the noises he'd made when Bastiaan rode him, but different enough to give Bastiaan pause. Bastiaan asked, "Good?"

"This may sound strange," Lennart said, which made Bastiaan smile, "but do you have anything heavier? This is...sharp."

"Oh," Bastiaan said. "Sure." He stepped in close enough to kiss the back of Lennart's neck once more and said, "Good boy."

Lennart growled.

Bastiaan swapped out his lightest flogger for one of the medium ones. He struck Lennart again, not swinging as hard as he could have, counting on the heavier, thicker falls to make themselves known. Lennart gasped. Bastiaan asked, "Better?"

"Yes," Lennart said. "Thank you."

"Of course," Bastiaan said. "Thank you for letting me know." Lennart took a breath to respond, and Bastiaan hit him again. Lennart gasped.

Lennart was a lot less quiet while being flogged than he had been while Bastiaan rode him. He gasped and groaned like Bastiaan was already fucking him. Every time Bastiaan told him what a good job he was doing, how well he was taking it, how lovely he looked with Bastiaan's marks on him, he thanked Bastiaan in a choked voice.

Eventually, Lennart's skin was so red and tender that Bastiaan had to ease off on the force. The lightest strike was enough to make Lennart shout. He hadn't been that loud even when he was digging his fingers into Bastiaan's hips and coming inside him. Even Bastiaan running his fingers over Lennart's back made him shudder. Heat radiated off of Lennart's abused skin.

"Sadly," Bastiaan said, barely letting his nails make contact with Lennart's back, "I'm not sure how much more of this you could take."

Lennart made a noise Bastiaan interpreted as sad. After a moment, Lennart asked with a rough voice, "Does that mean you're going to fuck me now?"

"If you're still interested," Bastiaan said.

Even before Bastiaan finished speaking, Lennart was saying, "Yes, yes, please."

"You beg so pretty for me," Bastiaan murmured. He kissed the side of Lennart's neck. "How do you feel about staying on the cross while I fuck you?"

Lennart groaned. "Good," he said. "Please."

It was never unpleasant for Bastiaan to do this for someone, but tonight he was almost painfully hard. He dragged over the little platform he kept under the bed and slid it between the legs of the cross, so he would have enough height to reach. Then he got a good handful of lube and slicked himself up. He had to pause and take a deep breath to keep himself under control. That was not a problem he often had anymore, but Lennart had gotten under his skin from the start.

"You have been so very good for me," Bastiaan said, getting into position behind Lennart. "Such a good boy. So I'll offer you a choice." He pressed his slick fingers between Lennart's buttocks, to rub against his asshole. Lennart trembled, clutching the cross with his hands. He hadn't come while Bastiaan was beating him, but Bastiaan would bet it had been a near thing. If Lennart came back, Bastiaan would have to try and make him. Moving his fingers slowly around the puckered skin surrounding Lennart's hole, Bastiaan told him, "I could be gentle and slow, since it's your first time...or I could fuck you hard, and it will probably hurt."

Lennart whimpered. "Hard," he said, with a hoarse voice. "Please. As hard as you want."

Here he was, still saying dangerous things. Well, he had certainly proven he wasn't entirely foolish to do so; he was a genuine masochist who'd endured quite a first beating. And Bastiaan could always heal him right after, if it turned out he didn't enjoy it as much as he predicted.

Bastiaan lined up his cock, and pushed in.

Lennart's body offered shockingly little resistance. Lennart groaned as Bastiaan pushed inexorably in. "God," he croaked.

Bastiaan fucked him hard, never giving all the way in to the temptation to try and destroy Lennart, but certainly harder than he would usually fuck a virginal ass. Again, Lennart was much more vocal on the receiving end than he had been while penetrating Bastiaan. It was maddening.

Halfway through, Lennart started moaning, "Please, please," over and over again.

Bastiaan paused, to ask if he needed to stop, and Lennart cried, "No, don't stop, don't stop!" Which answered that question.

Lennart was practically sobbing by the time Bastiaan came. Bastiaan rested his face on Lennart's shoulder and reached around for his cock. He barely touched it before Lennart convulsed, shooting ropes of come onto the wall. Bastiaan kissed his shoulder, then the back of his neck. "Look at you," he murmured, "waiting to come until I let you. What a good boy."

Lennart gasped, and his cock twitched, but there was only a little dribble of fluid from it.

When Bastiaan had his body back under solid control, he pulled out of Lennart's ass. There was no blood, but Lennart did hiss a breath in through his teeth. Bastiaan said, "I'm going to untie you from the cross now. You think about how much you want me to heal you, okay? It doesn't look like I broke the skin anywhere, but you'll be pretty sore tomorrow if I don't."

"Mm," Lennart said. Bastiaan assumed he would have to repeat that later; Lennart didn't seem like he was completely back in the world yet.

Bastiaan released his ankles first. With only a little prompting, Lennart wiggled them and confirmed they felt fine. Bastiaan stood up to reach for his wrists as well. It took Lennart a little effort to unclench his hands from around the ends of the cross, and he stretched them and rotated his wrists without any prompting.

Bastiaan gently pressed himself flush to Lennart's back and kissed the back of his neck again. "Good boy," he murmured. He slipped his hands around Lennart's waist and eased him back from the cross. Lennart put his arms down, still flexing his hands and wrists, and leaned back against Bastiaan a little too heavily. Bastiaan staggered a bit, because it was unexpected, but he righted them, then led Lennart back to the bed.

"Did you think about how much healing you want?" Bastiaan asked. He'd had to lay down too, so Lennart could cling to him. That was something most of his vanilla customers didn't get, but many of the S&M crowd needed it afterwards. One reason Bastiaan didn't like doing it with vanilla customers was how intimate it felt, and he didn't really think fucking someone was necessarily that intimate, but flogging someone or fucking them until they were crying certainly was.

He attempted to ignore the voice in the back of his head saying he would have let Lennart cuddle him regardless.

After a moment, Lennart said muzzily, "Would it be possible to only heal me at the end of the night? I want to feel you a little longer."

Bastiaan smiled, and kissed Lennart's hair. "Sure," he said.

Unsurprisingly, Lennart fell asleep not long after. Bastiaan carefully slipped out of the bed to put away his dungeon things, then opened up the trunk where he kept his blankets. He rolled them out and pulled them up over Lennart, then went around to snuff the candles out. Then, when it was dark, he slipped back into the bed. Lennart stirred only enough to reattach himself to Bastiaan's side.

#bastiaan at the brothel #s2b2 extras

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qzwrites · 3 months

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I slightly de-anachronized (chronized?) this story by going through and adding the thou/you distinction in (and editing the dialogue to work better with that) (and also changing some contractions to the older forms, like "'tis" instead of "it's" because I can)

Did anyone ask for this? No. BUT when I said I had to restrain myself from doing this at the last minute before the original S2B2 issue dropped, someone in the Discord was like, "Why not? Do it!" so. Here we are.

(m/f arranged marriage story with a trans character)

#s2b2 extras #complete pieces

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qzwrites · 3 months

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Bastiaan at the Brothel pt 1

AUs of my own S2B2 stories? It's more likely than you'd think!

In which Lennart gets to speedrun the virgin-to-dedicated-kinkster pipeline.

---

Bastiaan woke to someone knocking insistently on his door. He squinted at the clock next to his bed. He hadn't even been asleep six hours. "What?" he shouted, annoyed.

"I need to speak to you," came Lennart's voice.

How had Lennart gotten into the brothel when it was the middle of the day and everyone was asleep, Bastiaan wondered, but then realized his favorite customer, as a mercenary, probably knew how to pick locks. Well, as long as he'd locked the door behind him, it was fine; he'd been a regular for long enough now no one would worry too much about him wandering around unsupervised. They'd all know he was there to see Bastiaan anyway, since he never hired anyone else.

"Just come in," Bastiaan called. It wasn't as though he locked his own door once they closed.

Lennart came into the room, shutting the door behind him. "I apologize for waking you," he said as he crossed the room. "I don't have much time."

"If someone's going to get me up before noon, I suppose I'd rather it be you," Bastiaan said, stretching.

Lennart approached the bed while Bastiaan stretched, then sat down on the edge of the mattress facing him. He barely even looked at Bastiaan's naked body peeking out from beneath the sheets, which Bastiaan supposed was another piece of evidence in favor of this being urgent. Without any more preamble, Lennart said, "I've been offered a job."

Bastiaan blinked. Lennart didn't usually tell him much about his work. Bastiaan didn't tell him that much about his, either, except when he thought it might be something Lennart would enjoy hearing. He was too groggy to have a conversation, even with Lennart. "And?"

"It's not a mercenary contract," Lennart said. "It's a...long-term, stationary job. As a combat instructor at the academy out past Halkilde."

"Oh," Bastiaan said. That was far away. Halkilde was nearly the other side of the country. "I take it you'd be travelling less," he said.

"Yes," Lennart said. "I don't know how often I would be able to come through Polnas."

"Oh," Bastiaan said again. He sat up. He felt as if he was weighted down, his body slow to respond to his commands. He recognized the feeling, as it was similar to how he felt after his family was killed. "So we'll be seeing less of each other."

"Yes," Lennart said, and Bastiaan doubted anyone in the world apart from him knew Lennart well enough to tell how sad he sounded. "Unless you come with me."

"What?" Bastiaan asked.

"I asked the Headmistress if I could bring a romantic partner," Lennart said. "She said yes."

"You--Lennart," Bastiaan said. He was painfully aware he was blushing. He'd been a whore his entire adult life and he was blushing because his favorite customer called him a romantic partner. Not even that, really; suggested he might be. But Bastiaan liked Lennart enough that the suggestion of a possibility flustered him more than any sexual advance had in years.

"I understand we have not spoken about anything like this before," Lennart said. No, Lennart had been much more considerate of the reality of their relationship than most customers who were so obviously smitten. He went on, "And it is a significant change. But I...would be foolish to turn down this position, which is well-suited to my skills, as well as considerably safer and more steady than mercenary work." He reached for one of Bastiaan's hands, and wrapped his own around it. Quietly, he said, "But I don't want to not see you."

"Lennart," Bastiaan said. He took Lennart's other hand in his free one. "I don't want to see you less, either," he admitted. They already saw less of each other than Bastiaan would have liked. He wasn't entirely sure how Lennart afforded so much time with him anyway, on a traveling mercenary's pay. Bastiaan hadn't quite dared to suggest to Madam Louisa that they offer Lennart a discount, even though that wasn't so unusual for regular customers. Lennart traveled so much that his high-priced visits were less frequent than any other customer to whom they extended a discount.

And, quite honestly, Bastiaan had been worried she would tease him. He'd spent his entire career voicing his confusion that some of his colleagues found it difficult to keep from getting attached to customers, and now Lennart was the highlight of his days.

Bastiaan glanced again at the clock. "How much time do you have?" he asked.

"The carriage east leaves at two," Lennart said. That was well before the brothel opened. Bastiaan wouldn't even always be awake by then, depending on how late he'd stayed up the night before. He supposed Lennart had little choice but to wake him, if they were to have a chance to talk at all.

"Then why don't you buy me a meal at Ada's and tell me the details?" Bastiaan suggested. Ada's wasn't far from where the carriage-house was, and her cooking was excellent.

"Yes," Lennart said.

Bastiaan got dressed, and managed to restrain himself from pulling Lennart into bed or pushing him against a wall. It was an effort, since it had been so long since Lennart's last visit, and since he had just suggested Bastiaan move across the country to be his kept man.

Until he met Lennart, Bastiaan hadn't really understood the people who left the brothel to be someone's mistress. Yes, you got more free time in exchange for less work, and often perks like clothing and lodging, but it left you so vulnerable to the whims of a single person. At least the people who married their patrons got some legal protection out of it. Yet Bastiaan found the idea less puzzling these days. In fact, Bastiaan had considered several times how pleasant being Lennart's kept man might be.

Probably because Bastiaan was in love with him.

Bastiaan wouldn't even mind not fucking anyone else, which was usually one of the stipulations of these arrangements, if he got to see Lennart every day. Not that Lennart had ever seemed to care at all that Bastiaan had sex with other people. For all that they had spent a fair bit of time together over the last not-quite-two years, what little Lennart said about himself was not especially illuminating. Even when it was informative, it tended to be confusing, simply because Lennart was so unconcerned with what society expected of people. He worked alone, which Bastiaan was pretty sure the mercenaries he knew would have considered somewhere between foolhardy and suicidal; Bastiaan didn't know why he worked alone, apart from the obvious. From what Lennart knew of noble politics and manners, he had to have spent time in a noble house. Both of his parents were dead, like Bastiaan's, but if Bastiaan had read between the lines correctly, Lennart had killed his own father after his mother died. Usually when they had enough time to talk, Lennart asked Bastiaan about himself.

Lennart was strange. Other people tended to find him off-putting. Bastiaan, on the other hand, felt like he'd before never gotten along so well so quickly with anyone. When Lennart didn't understand Bastiaan, he said so, then listened to the explanation, instead of coming up with some kind of reasoning on his own and acting as if that was the truth without bothering to check with Bastiaan.

Ada already had stew and fresh bread ready to serve, so Lennart and Bastiaan took their food to a corner table immediately. As Bastiaan ate, Lennart told him about the school. It had enclosed grounds, indoor plumbing, and meals served three times a day. He was unsure if there were any unfilled positions in the school itself, but there was a village not far outside the grounds. There was even a brothel in the village, though Lennart hadn't asked if they needed any additional help.

"However, you needn't work if you do not wish to," Lennart said. "With room and board for two included in my position, I can support us both. But I will be busy much of the time. I wouldn't want you to get bored."

Plenty of people weren't so considerate of their mistresses' desires when setting up these arrangements, Bastiaan knew. The fact that Lennart thought ahead to not only whether or not Bastiaan might be bored, but what potential occupations he could find at or around the school, was quite endearing. "Are you sure it would be all right?" Bastiaan asked. "I doubt the headmistress thought your proposed romantic partner was a whore."

"I don't see why it would matter," Lennart said. When they first met, Bastiaan would have taken such a statement for naivety, but now he understood it was best to take Lennart at face value whenever possible. Lennart didn't understand why Bastiaan's profession would affect anyone's feelings for him, or opinion of their relationship, because it was not something Lennart found at all relevant. Bastiaan loved that. He loved that Lennart was such a straight-forward man, and he loved that Lennart treated whores like he treated anyone else. "If it does," Lennart went on, "I believe I would still be able to afford to rent you a room in the village. It would be less convenient, but certainly better than having you be a two week journey away."

"You've put a lot of thought into this," Bastiaan said.

For some reason, that made Lennart blush. "Yes," he said, and busied himself with his stew.

"It'll probably take me a few weeks to get everything settled here," Bastiaan said. Lennart's head jerked back up to look at him fast enough to make him splash stew on the table. Lennart hunched into himself, embarrassed, and mopped up the spill with his napkin. Bastiaan said, "But I think I can trust you're not going to get tired of me and strand me on the other side of the country."

"Never," Lennart said, frowning up at Bastiaan. "I could never get tired of you."

"Good," Bastiaan said. "Because otherwise this would be very foolish of both of us." He reached across the table, smiling, and Lennart took his hand.

#s2b2 extras #kind of #bastiaan at the brothel #bastiaan #lennart

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qzwrites · 3 months

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If your dialog feels flat, rewrite the scene pretending the characters cannot at any cost say exactly what they mean. No one says “I’m mad” but they can say it in 100 other ways.

This is good advice but one of my favorite things (especially prominent in romances tbh) is when people DO say exactly what they mean about one thing, specifically to distract or otherwise obfuscate something they are more upset about

Like you can have characters admit things to each other! You can have people say "I'm mad" when they are using it as part of a strategy to avoid saying the other things they mean.

Which is fun from a writing standpoint because then you can have a character who is disarmingly upfront about some things, or wins an argument or whatever, while still also keeping secrets for later conflict.

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qzwrites · 3 months

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Based on that last post, I was thinking about the Theory Of Romance Novels (especially as found in Romancing the Beat) that the components of a romance story fill some lack or need in each other.

So basically the void in Jaz's life that Sasha is filling is a: job dissatisfaction which is caused by b: the fatal american need to have a pretty good time (desire for Adventure and Shenanigans)

The romance novel part is from Jaz's POV so I figured that out pretty early on, even if I don't know that I ever made it explicit in any of my notes or anything. I mean that's why I have already roughed out the scene where Sasha grandly presents Jaz zeir very own ship to captain and Jaz is like "Oh. It turns out I don't want this actually." And then when ze tries to explain that like. Being a mercenary owner-captain is not going to be nearly as exciting without him around, Sasha is like AAAAA okay this is objectively nuts it has been three months but marry me? Like, the Thematic Point of that scene is pretty clear even if I do end up changing parts of it later, I think the bones of that scene are going to stick around. I have in fact referred to it in installments set in the future lmao.

But I just now thought about what Sasha is getting from Jaz here, which is mostly: LESS KAVAGORAN. Part of Miles Vorkosigan's problem is how Very Barrayaran he is, and his struggles with reconciling those values with his objective inability to embody parts of them. He does this with increasingly unhealthy coping mechanisms until he literally fries his brain and trashes his career, and I think it's pretty important for Miles specifically that he doesn't meet the future Lady Vorkosigan until he has become Even More Disabled and unavoidably so--and in a Very Barrayaran position that is simultaneously NOT REMOTELY the career path of his father or grandfather.

But Sasha necessarily (in order to get him to be more willing to acknowledge how into Jaz he is) (Miles is transparently into Bel he's just mired in internalized homophobia THIS IS TEXT retroactive text but text!!!) is a little older and had a little more success Being An Officer, it's just that his moral compass wouldn't allow him to. Be part of a military organization. Which is kind of a problem for a Kavagoran. But Sasha also spent more (or at least paid more attention to) time on Gnilles, plus he made it through the Academy, which I refuse to believe is anything other than a hotbed of furtive bicurious exploration that everyone studiously pretends does not happen, so Sasha is not nearly as concerned about being into men or nonbinary people as Miles is when he meets Jaz.

But importantly, he still has to make the Wild Series of Decisions that leads to him inventing a fake mercenary troupe and suborning an entire ship until everything snowballs out of control and he solves a civil war, so he's still Having A Time. He feels out of place in Kavagoran society, much like Miles frequently did as a youth, except this isn't youthful growing pains, this is...him taking a moral stand and a career hit and not regretting that, which kind of DOES make him regret the fact that he's planned his whole life out around a thing he's not sure he believes in as much as he thought he did. He's Too Old-Fashioned for the modern Kavagoran military (believes too much in honor and morality, which he chalks up to Being !Vor, but is really like. Pretty specific to a Certain Type of nobility who understand the Spider-Man Principle, which is not actually the entire nobility--either on Kavagor or Barrayar!) but also Sasha is Too Modern for traditional Kavagoran society (visibly disabled, absolutely reliant on modern medical technology to live any semblance of an independent life) (i mean not anymore, most of his accessibility needs now are like. extremely old technology like "joint braces" and "cane"). He's feeling at a loss! And useless! He's too Gnillesian for Kavagor but still too Kavagoran for Gnilles, and really, it's a nice planet but he's not going to build a life there! Even if it is Part Of Him!

And while shuffling through this crisis of identity he runs across Jean, a tunnel pilot who is ready to go down with the obsolete ship, and is like, Oh no this loser is My People. Plus the cyborg/disability resonance with Jean, who has literally been obsoleted by his assistive technology becoming obsolete, and was definitely being talked about like he was human garbage (as much as Gnillesians talk like that about anyone, which is more than they would claim). Sasha does the same exact scam Miles does (why fix what isn't broken, especially since it can be Humorous Backstory for why he has become a con man) and is suddenly saddled with a need to Make Money, which he has. Never attempted.

He also picks up Dimitri, who is the foil to the OTHER part of Sasha's predicament, which is: he deserted, yes, technically in the heat of battle, yes, but also, he was given a criminal order he refused to carry out and couldn't think of another way to handle the situation. Unlike Sasha, Dimitri is not a noble with connections; he's just some prole who did well in the engineering corps. He deserts to save his skin and his morals, and Sasha is like, Oh no THIS loser is ALSO My People.

(Helen gets to have the cultural knee-jerk revulsion of Dimitri as a deserter, especially since she is resentful that she isn't allowed to join up even though she would literally be better than half the fucking assholes in the military. She's unable to get even a nod of recognition from the military apparatus, and Dimitri THREW IT AWAY. She is a lot more sympathetic when she learns more about the criminal order, and conflicted about the dissonance, even though it's personal in a different way for her than for Sasha. She also gets concrete confirmation that he's Not Like Other Kavagoran Men, since around a bunch of galactics and hitting it off with Jaz, Dimitri is very chill about things like women with jobs, women soldiers, queer people, etc. He's...less immediately cool about Sasha's disabilities but he's trying? It's condescending and unhelpful, but still better than most Kavagorans' reaction. At which point she's like...okay Dimitri say more about the fact that you have a thing for me.)

But while Sasha is more okay with his queerness and his weird half/nothing cultural identity, and he's gotten better at working within his physical limitations, he's still, like, closeted about his disabilities. As much as he can be when it's visible that he's Not Right--he doesn't use his cane, he dresses to hide his leg brace or any other braces he needs, he tries not to call attention to his height, he does still also get his clothes tailored to "correct" his asymmetries, etc. He's constantly downplaying his needs and differences, mostly because of Kavagoran attitudes, but also like tbh most galactics who aren't Gnillesian are also still pretty ableist. He (feels he) gets more respect and better results when he Puts On A Brave Face and tries to look as "normal" as possible.

It really helps that Jaz is immediately thirsty for him TBH. Like, Jaz is Objectively Attractive, and also specifically attractive to Sasha, and ze is down so bad. Ze is practically vibrating with how hard ze's holding back asking to suck him off. (And, when they do get together, continues to be Very Enthusiastic while also actively attempting to accomodate him before he asks. Like, ze double checks how much force ze can use in normal things like "flipping them over on the bed". Ze asks what positions are easier for him before he hurts himself pretending he can do something. Ze asks about his comfort levels with his assistive devices and other parts of his body being touched, and doesn't push him [until ze knows him much better and is more capable of judging when he's being conservative out of shame].)

And it helps that Jaz has a non-normative body. Like, ze's totally normal to zemself, and to Sasha, and to Helen and Sasha's family (...not the Baron. is the Baron dead yet? I think so. Someone should definitely make a tasteless joke about this killing him.) but is Not Normal to Kavagor, and frankly to most galactics. Like, ambis are definitely the most well-represented third gender, people know about them, but there are few enough of them that leave Gnilles that most people don't know one personally and have never met one. Even on Gnilles, they're a minority. A large, visible minority that most Gnillesians would proclaim their pride in, but...mathematically, we know that's not true, don't we? Ambis are not half of the population of Gnilles, as they would be if everyone let chance decide the sex of their baby. They're not even an even third of the population, as they would be in a true gender ternary. They're like a quarter of the population, and most ambis are born to families that are either not fiddling with their embryos or already have ambis in their immediate family. Jaz is marked out as different in most places, despite having grown up thinking of zemself as totally normal.

And by the time Sasha meets zem, ze's been out in the galaxy for nearly ten years, Being A Minority and having to baby people through seeing zem naked. Yet, far from attempting to hide it, or blend in, ze is almost aggressively nonchalant about it. Like, ze is so Not Making A Big Deal About This that it almost shames people around zem into being cool. Ze's totally even and chill about people saying wildly offensive shit, just like "Interesting, can you expand on that?" like people aren't being weird. Ze is matter of fact about correcting misconceptions. Ze doesn't often get worked up (in public) about people being dumbasses, but ze is also not altering zeir behavior about it; ze is going to keep being openly zemself regardless of how other people feel about it. If you cannot deal with someone in the locker room wearing a sports bra and a jockstrap, that's your fucking problem, not zeirs.

And that strategy, of Pointedly Normalizing Zemself, works fine for zem. It also makes it clear when people are being unreasonable that they are the ones being unreasonable, not Jaz. Sasha will adopt more of that attitude moving forward, starting with being pan and having an ambi spouse who is very much not his wife, and moving on into using his cane in public or wearing clothes that don't conceal his braces. Why would he not use his cane? His leg's acting up and not using it will only make things worse. Why are you looking at him like that? If you don't have anything to say, at least get out of the way, he needs slightly more room to maneuver than people without mobility aids.

Jaz has also had to grapple with the contradiction of Gnillesian technology enabling passive eugenics. Like I said, ambis are not the proportion of the population they are genetically designed to be. Few people actively say they wouldn't have a baby runt, but few people choose one, if they're not already an Ambi Family. Most Gnillesians "just happen" to want girls or boys. Like most Gnillesians "just happen" to want hearing babies, and babies without developmental disabilities. There are ways the Gnillesian medical profession (with guidance and, let's face it, pressure, from the disability communities) try to limit this, but there is a fair argument to be made that screening for embryos with conditions that would endanger the viability of the infant or the health of a mother (even though few babies are carried to term in an embedded womb) is necessary. There are things they won't tell parents about unless asked, and there are things that basically never had tests developed (because people were like THE ONLY POSSIBLE USE FOR THIS IS EUGENICIST), but it's really hard to correct a societal problem on an individual level. Every individual (or couple or polycule or whatever) parent has fair and valid reasons to feel they could not care for certain kinds of babies.

There are still fewer runts born than there should be. There are still fewer little people born than there should be. There are still fewer deaf babies born than there should be.

Jaz is not unreservedly for all Gnillesian advances and norms, because some of them are bad. Ze is part of communities (ambi and queer) that are critical of some aspects of Gnillesian culture, for reasons that aren't as in your face as similar issues on Kavagor and other "less developed" planets.

Importantly, ze is also willing to fight back against those societal issues, even when they seem insurmountable. Less so for zeir own sake, but ze is super willing to fight people about being ableist or sexist, and Sasha feels more equipped to fight people for being binarist and cissexist on Jaz's behalf. They have each other's backs, and Jaz provides the support and security on top of the inspiration for Sasha to draw a line in the sand and say, no, I'm not budging on this. You move.

Lmao I think to some extent Sasha makes Jaz feel adventurous and exciting, while Jaz makes Sasha feel safe. Sasha's going to get into messes, into which Jaz will eagerly follow him, and together, they can clean them up.

Jaz would also be extremely amused by the idea that ze's providing the safety and security in their relationship. Yeah ze's so stable lmao (but Sasha has always had external stability--he has a rich and powerful family, or he wouldn't have survived to be an adult who doesn't feel comfortable being unreservedly himself; Jaz has always been unreservedly zemself, which is part of why ze was restless even while doing the objectively high-risk mercenary work.)

#kavagor #this too is prewriting #or navel gazing #or both tbh

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