#not actually writing

[qzwrites]

things that would be hard to justify if this was still vorkosigan saga fanfic that i get to amuse myself with:

helen definitely actually fucked all of her sex ed teachers on gnilles, while sasha only fucked the woman. when sasha finds out he's like YOU'RE LITERALLY NOT EVEN ATTRACTED TO WOMEN THOUGH? and helen is like. well it would be a waste not to make sure

sasha has been out-gayed by his straight sister. devastating

after helen and sasha gave up on fooling around with each other (years earlier, mere seconds into the attempt to kiss) helen was like. well. okay yakov do you want to make out and yakov was like DO I

arguably they lost their virginity together but they were also like 12 and both agree that educational fooling around with sort-of-your-cousin does not actually count (this is one of very few things helen agrees with yakov on in general)

helen's father does NOT die while sasha is pulling his little mercenary con, as he is safely back on kavagor, fretting himself into the ground about how helen is doing on her First Bodyguard Mission

after jaz pulls maksim into the closer social circle and maksim and yakov spend more time together they do actually have sex, mostly because despite all his shit-talking yakov trusts maksim will not actually be shitty about yakov being straight

except yakov is not straight, he's bi, but also kavagor is a binarist society and yakov is not attracted to men. he does still have sex with maksim at least one more time because there are so few people a kavagoran man can ask to fuck them in the ass, platonically

lady sveta, yakov's mother, officially hands off the duty of finding a bride for yakov to maksim

no one ever explicitly tells lady sveta that her son finds bottoming in anal sex such an essential part of his long-term sexual satisfaction that it's a deal-breaker to not do it, but maksim and yakov are uncomfortably sure she knows that's the connecting line between all of maksim's matches for yakov

maksim's longest-term relationship ends up being his relatively-frequent guest appearances in sasha and jaz's bed

delara jokes that maksim is trying to get the entire generation of petrov kids, and maksim is like....sasha and yakov are both only children? so did i not already do that?

she's like no, i meant our other son. you know, the emperor we fostered? although i guess i should also include helen in that case?

and maksim is like WELL I WOULD RATHER SHOOT MY SHOT WITH THE LITERAL EMPEROR THAN WITH HELEN THANKS

this is also how he finds out delara petrov knows he had sex with his cousin yakov. like sure, it's not hard to notice when he stays the night in sasha and jaz's room, but who tf is telling people about him and yakov? not him! not yakov!!!

i think the absolute funniest time for yakov's entire sexuality crisis, search for a wife, and marriage to a friend the entire world has always known as a man would be "while nikolai is off at Clone Rehab" so nikolai comes back and is like what the FUCK happened here

so much of his intel was wrong. like. so much of it.

yakov definitely forgot nikolai even existed while he was at clone rehab. you can't just give him a brand-new cousin after twenty-seven years and expect him to remember that!!!

delara takes maksim aside and is like okay you're a grown-up and he's technically a grown-up but i do want you to think really hard about whether or not you need to fuck my youngest son

maksim is like I AM NOT ACTUALLY ON THIS QUEST YOU MADE UP AUNT DELARA

the fact that he has also had sex with the emperor by this point is IMMATERIAL, he's not doing it on purpose, he's not having sex with helen, and he's not having sex with nikolai, STOP LAUGHING

at some point helen is like, it feels like it would have been funnier to fuck you before nikolai showed up. now it would feel like pandering

maksim is like i don't know why it's MY family that has a reputation for being impossible assholes, petrovs are the WORST

yakov's wife is Not Afraid of emil petrov. in fact emil petrov was daniil's woobie. or poor little meow meow maybe? because emil petrov is arguably a war criminal. he was also an infamously sad wet beast in his 20s. daniil is like you are so inspiring. emil is like??? you didn't even join the military though? and daniil is like no but every time i got dumped i thought of how you carried on after your first wife and then your awful boyfriend and i was like. okay daniil you can do this

daniil got most of a pharmacology degree and because of being closeted before marrying yakov was home-brewing hormones on technically illegitimate lab time obtained by means of favoring the nobility

when yakov is like but how did you get the blood work done without a doctor's order, daniil is like. hey remind me what kind of crimes you're duty-bound to report to a superior officer again and yakov is like WELL LET'S JUST SHELVE THAT CONVERSATION UNTIL WE'RE MARRIED AND I DON'T HAVE TO TESTIFY AGAINST YOU

jaz immediately approves of daniil and daniil gets "gendering jaz" privileges, which literally no one else on the planet has

because daniil only uses it to be like "girls' night!" or "excuse me, we need to have a man-to-man conversation" when they are both in gowns

ani the second half of this list appears to be about your OCs and not about the vorkosigan shit you stole at all?

yes. because i'm having fun. thank you.

#kavagor #not actually writing #i mean it is still all from me extrapolating what queer society would be like on barrayar #i think a noble doing the work for but not technically receiving a pharmacology degree is very appropriate #and i think that noble using their knowledge to homebrew hormones so their parents don't find out about it is plausible #and i DEFINITELY think vor parents are allowed access to way too much of their children's medical information until they get married

[spritehouse]

i want to yell about this fic concept i have but it's for the cm gift exchange and i'm gonna implode

#my concepts were made for sharing #not actually writing #who do you think i am? #a writer?? #lex lore

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

since my mother a) takes a lot of different medications, and b) has memory problems, we have a running joke that it isn't enough to think about taking tablets, you have to actually take them

imagine how productive I would be if I could apply the same philosophy to my writing

#IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO THINK ABOUT WRITING #YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY WRITE #pinterest boards playlists and re-reading the notes doc all count as thinking about writing #not actually writing

[elinorjo]

how am i supposed to write on this machine that also shows me items that I could buy

#writing #not actually writing

[eversea143]

Writing prompt’s gonna need a new logo because DAMN I can’t see nothin’ with this new dark mode.

#writing prompt #not actually writing #logo #dark mode

[evidently-endless]

i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.

#i love reading your examples! however next person to be like um actually this exists?? it’s on sight #i know it exists. i think it’s fun. that’s why i think more people should do it. #sometimes i think the confessional style loses impact because everything has to be excavated from the depths of the soul #and somehow. confessional writing seems to be going with the most disaffected bland sound possible. odd. #i love deeply personal songs! i love when songs sound like they mean something to the artist! #something something wider issue of mining trauma and being performatively vulnerable for quote unquote content #idk i don’t have the actual knowledge to write about this well there’s just something not landing for me recently #mine

[werewolf-transgenderism]

keep seeing undergrads on social media saying “oh if a prof has a strict no-AI academic integrity policy that’s a red flag for me because that means they don’t know how to design assignments” like sorry girl but that just sounds like you’ve got a case of sour grapes about not being allowed to cheat with the plagiarism machine that doesn’t know how to evaluate sources and kills the environment! I have a strict no-AI policy because if you use AI to write your essays for a writing course it’s literally plagiarism because you didn’t write it and you’re not learning any of the things the course teaches if you just plug a prompt into the plagiarism generator that kills the environment, hope this helps!

#so many people on the internet like ‘why do I have to write my work myself why can’t I just plug it into the cheating machine’ #‘why is it plagiarism to not write my own work and instead use the plagiarism machine built from scraping others’ work without consent?’ #like. it is because you are not learning anything if you do not actually do the work assigned to you. hope this helps #I personally have not had AI issues because of how I structure my assignments #but it was a HUGE problem in my department last year. so we all have no-AI to write your classwork policies

[cronenfag]

as far as i'm concerned all gore is necessary

#obvi just using gore to compensate for shitty writing doesn't make something good #BUT. complaining about gore in horror movies is sooo weird like that's half the reason i'm here #also good and fun gore does actually compensate for shitty writing. maybe not to you but to me #it has to be good tho #m

[acorviart]

not to sound like a boomer, but I need some people to learn how to write emails in a semi-professional (at the very least) format so you're not cold emailing a business/potential employer/any other stranger about formal matters in the exact same way you'd DM a close friend on instagram

the formality/language can loosen up in the email chain once you've established a rapport and you match the other person if they're being less formal, but please don't have the very first email you send a stranger be written in all lowercase ultra-casual sms slang with no greeting or signature and a billion emojis

#this sounds like a 'argh kids these days doing [insert exaggerated story they don't actually do in reality]' kind of thing #except that I've gotten soooo many emails like this #there's a reason that I don't have my DMs open on any socmed and it's bc they attract people getting way too casual/parasocial immediately #and forcing people to write out an email both filters out 90% of weird impulse messages and also throws them out of that casual headspace #except that I can actively tell when this fails and someone is treating emails as if they're the same thing as DMs

[madpunks]

we are so ableist about memory. people with good memory take for granted the fact that they can recall as much as they can, and use that to taunt, guilt and threaten people with memory issues. many neurotypes and mental illnesses cause memory lapses. traumatic brain injuries can cause memory lapses. brain cancer can cause memory lapses.

even if your memory is good, it's not right to guilt someone because they can't remember something. trust me, people with memory problems are desperately trying to remember: it's just that we literally can't. it is a very literal "i can't remember".

#adhd #psychosis #psychotic disorders #autism #memory problems #memory issues #did #dissociative identity disorder #dpdr #osdd #mental health #neurodivergences #schizophrenia #schizohprenic #actually autistic #actually adhd #actually schizophrenic #depression #our writing

[redactedrem]

Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

#I have more ideas in my head #but I didn't want to make the post too long #might repost later #might write a small fanfic off of this #I actually don't have life360 but my friend does and I'm basing this off of how she interacts with her mom #batfamily #batfam #headcanon #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #cardinal tim drake #stephanie brown #spoiler

[qzwrites]

i do enjoy that king lorrit is like. well this isn't really what i expected to be doing with my reign, but a: not that different from an arranged marriage and b: better than being executed!

it doesn't come up much in "bending the knee", except at the very end you get a glimpse of how nateno uhhh feels like he is doing a bad thing, but deshnadians do not understand the whole nobility thing. they are baffled by the fact that keppralans find the "bad" part of the nateno/lorrit relationship to be the gay part, and not the. coercive circumstances part. whereas keppralans are like, meh, sometimes a noble has to marry someone they don't know, don't like, or actively hate, for political reasons, that part's fine. the public blowjob was weird. the fact that y'all's king apparently desires our king carnally is extremely strange though? and the deshnadians are like NO THAT'S THE NORMALEST PART OF THIS

yes, nateno is doing some purposeful compartmentalization re: what is moral and ethical on a personal level vs. what is moral and ethical as leader, haha, why do you ask!

also i think, a society that is less stratified and more meritocratic is probably going to have some different ideas about what is reasonable to take on in your personal life for "the greater good" versus a more feudal society that requires infrastructure to function effectively, so this is a pretty reasonable cultural difference (and such a juicy one to dig into in a series of romances, lmao)

#not actually writing #kepprala

[cauchys-special-boy]

applying for jobs seems to mostly consist of lying and submitting to indignities, which is whatever. but it is very difficult for me to override my innate instinct that anyone demanding i write a cover letter has insulted me so greatly that the only way to retain my honor is violence

#once i get that down #ill work on actually being able to write one

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[yeehawpim]

#original comic #webcomic #we go together #artists on tumblr #greek legend #damon & pythias #slightly different this time in that Dionysius I of Syracuse was an Actual person 😂 #but i heard about this in breadsword's video essay on the legend of sinbad and it was so good I had to write smth with it #also i thought the plot of the legend of sinbad was the smartest shit when I was a kid lol #indie comics

[so-you-read-the-usernames]

Female characters who are the sole voice of reason <<<<<<< Female characters who think of themselves as the sole voice of reason but who are actually just as insane as those around them

#meryl stryfe #trigun meryl #trigun #trigun (1998) #I haven’t actually seen tristamp #but based on the gif sets and clips I’ve seen I think it’s still accurate #weiss schnee #yeah I’m a rwby fan so what #there are probably more examples but modern media is sooo bad at writing female characters that I can’t think of any #also old time media #all media is bad at writing female characters #anywho if anyone reblogs this can they put their fav insane lady blorbo in the tags