rainyyriver

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Tim: Do you think Alfred is pregnant? Alfred looks pregnant.

Damian: Don't be ridiculous, Drake! First of all she has been spayed, second of all she has never had sexual intercourse.

Tim: You let her roam the manor grounds on her own, how are you so sure?

Damian: because I made sure every tom in the neighborhood knows I will defend her honour with my sword!

Jason, who has only just started to come back to the manor and does not know about Alfred the cat, overhearing this:

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i just know jason gets SOOO embarrassed when he does something and it’s similar to dick or bruce. he says a phrase dick often says and dies inside or he is talking and realizes he’s using the same tone and words his dad uses. he’s doing a move in combat and remembers exactly who he learned it from. his hair looks a little too much like bruce’s one day. dick would wear this hoodie. he’s eating takeout from a restaurant dick introduced him to. he’s just like his dad and his big brother and he wants to scream because EWWWWWWWWWW

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one thing about me is I'm so fucking non-committal and that makes me want to kill myself

#mine #im a horrible person #oops

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they ran into each other

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Just saw someone get pissy because "people in Gotham would have PTSD from Red Hood killing their family members just for being criminals".

Are you fucking stupid? I'm not joking do you have a brain eating parasite lodged in your skull?

When he's written correctly he's explicitly only targeting the people at the top. The crime lords, people who lace their drugs, traffickers, rogues. He isn't just breaking the necks of random crooks. We're talking about a kid who grew up stealing to survive, whose father died doing crimes to provide for them.

To call Jason being compassionate for small scale criminals and not a trigger happy psycho "fanon" or a "headcanon" puts your literacy into question at best and makes you look like an asshole at worst, especially when you put it in the main tag and don't bother to put it in the "Anti Jason Todd" or "Jason Todd critical" or "Jason Todd salt" or even "Jason Todd bashing". See that collection of easily blockable tags so I don't have to see your utter fucking nonsense on my dash?

They also said they don't think Jason cares about crime prevention at all and was just an angsty teen rebelling. Like tell me you didn't even fucking read Under the Red Hood without telling me.

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You know what I need more of? Karababs ship art with Babs as Oracle. It's what they deserve.

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Jay has had enough of the pacifistic garbage

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love love love the idea of jason bullying his siblings into taking care of themselves.

for example.

taking the wheels off of babs wheelchair when she won’t rest. (he comes back not too long after to put them back on don’t worry)

guilt tripping dick into deal with his panic attack instead of ignoring it. (you want me to call alfred and tell him? he’ll have to walk all the way up the stairs to get to you)

changing cass’s music every time she changes it back until eventually she talks about what bothering her. (they have google nests and he’ll just say hey google play the coco melon theme)

throwing food bars at tim’s head until he finally gets annoyed and eats one. (he can actually ignore it for a lot longer than you think)

reading the side affects of her birth control in an old english accent until steph gets up and takes pain killers and gets a heat pack instead of bed rotting. (he has no idea what most of the side affects are)

teasing duke until he actually lets out the anger he’s been holding in. (he’ll just straight up roast him)

steals and hides all of damian’s sharp objects until the kid talks about why he’s been all doom and gloom. (he drives him to and from school the next day to scare of the bullies)

anyways reblogs are appreciated

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FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

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I got so confused thinking this meant Bruce Wayne and went "why is batman interacting with the Norse god Thor?"

bruce: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

thor, drinking toast: why do you say that?

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I like the idea of Nightwing being a well-known figure among the hero community, but relatively unknown to the public outside of Gotham and Blüdhaven. Like, he was the first ever sidekick and a kid of one of the Justice League's founding members. Most older heroes are his aunts and uncles, the first generation of sidekicks are his friends, and to the younger ones, he is a mentor and older brother figure. The hero community loves him. But outside of that, he is just a local hero. He sticks to the shadows, and while the people of blüdhaven love him, and the people of Gotham have at least heard of him, he is not very well known.

That is until the Justice League hosts some sort of public event with a lot of younger heroes attending, and one journalist gets an idea for a fun, lighthearted story. They go around asking different heroes and sidekicks who their favorite hero is, and 80% have the same answer: Nightwing

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Red Hood’s all about keeping his secret identity from almost everyone, right?

He’s going to all his meetings with the hood on and never lets any of his ‘business partners’ or goons or allies unrelated to the bats see his face, right???

He either gains enough trust or completely forgets to put it on as he walks in on his goons, his gang, if you will.

They all just kinda side eye this kid who just walked in and started ordering around until one of them finally speak up questioning this kids existence and whatnot. Hood whips around to yell at them for their insubordination but goes to run his hands through his hair or something and is genuinely surprised when his fingers DO go through his hair. So he just walks out of the room in a huff until he walks back in and says the exact thing. All the goons immediately burst into action and don’t question the kid who walked in and said the exact same thing moments ago…

In another instance he forgets his hood under his arm and starts addressing everyone but this time they react a bit more aggressively. This time he just sighs and puts the hood on his head. It’s an instant reaction but Doofenshmertz style, “a kid with a hood giving us orders?” To, “Red Hood giving us orders!”

Tim sees it this time and never lets him live it down, periodically calling him Perry the Platypus.

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Fic where Bruce and Jason are separately thrown 10 years into the past and wake up in their younger bodies.

9 year old Jason is perfectly fine living on the streets, thank you very much. And is trying very hard to avoid Bruce like the plague so he doesn’t end up as another “good soldier” in this life. Not like Bruce even knows he exists, so it should be easy.

30 year old Bruce, on the other hand, is hunting Jason through Gotham. Because his baby could be SICK or INJURED or COLD and he’ll be damned if Jason doesn’t have everything he could possibly need in this life. It’s a fresh slate and he’s going to do it right this time.

Unfortunately, it ends like this

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Finally read Robins!

I have a lot of thoughts, but I just want to say this panel is the funniest thing I've ever seen:

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funniest adhd thing is when you're like ugh. doing this simple task would be too hard. guess i'll do a difficult one instead

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feel like one day the batfam would just grow fed up of jason bragging that he died once and use it against him

———

Jason: You know i died on-

Bruce: My son died once, it was a very hard time for us all we spent it grieving

Jason: …

——

*Jason walking in with a stab wound*

Dick looking at the dagger clearly alarmed: What happened baby bird?!?

Jason: No big deal, nothing compared to my de-

Dick: you know my baby brother died once, he could die again, I’m going to get B to bar you from patrol since death is so traumatic for you.

Jason pausing wide eyed: WHAT?!?

———

Tim: cool shirt steph

Steph: Thanks i tye dyed it with cass

Jason: You know i died once

Tim sighing and looking out the window wistfully: It wasn’t you that died jason, it was the mAgIc iN rObIn

*steph cracking up*