randomthoughtslvl1

[randomthoughtslvl1]

No poems

Just me

Hi

Anywho that’s enough socializing for me

#random #i dont know #deep thoughts #deep thinking #please help

[randomthoughtslvl1]

I grew up in the trees

Climbing just to catch a glimpse of the clouds

Just to be pulled back down

Thrown inside

And yelled at for my mind being left where I wish I could of stayed

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #please help #family issues #child trauma

[randomthoughtslvl1]

You know

It actually hurts when you don’t want to go to school

But also hate being at home

Was my innocence

Too much for my education

Or my childhood?

I may live in a house

A roof over my head

Walls covering the flaws

But it was never a home

I had parents

I had siblings

But I never

Had a family

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #deep thinking #deppresing thoughts #please help #toxic parents #toxic family

[randomthoughtslvl1]

Sometimes I wonder

How many nights shall I succumb to

Before I’m swallowed by the light?

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #deep thinking #deppresing thoughts #please help #you will be okay #do not fear asking for help when it’s been wanting to hear your voice for millennia

[randomthoughtslvl1]

I mourned the loss of you

I waited and watched

As days passed and wrought

And then

Only then

Did I realize I did not enjoy mourning

I mourned to enjoy the idea

That maybe just maybe

That if roles were reversed

You would be mourning back

And only then

When I saw you

When I saw ME

Did I realize

Maybe

Just maybe

Loving myself would have been enough.

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #deep thinking #deppresing thoughts #please help #self help #self love #do not fear asking for help when it’s been wanting to hear your voice for millennia

[randomthoughtslvl1]

I feared

I cried

I lied

All to end up like this

And you know what

I’m fine with it

You see

Though I had died inside

Every ounce a horrible ride

I still fought

I still tried

And maybe

That should be enough

Maybe I am kenough 😔

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #deep thinking #please help #i am kenough #he is kenough #you are kenough #we are kenough #they are kenough #deppresing thoughts

[randomthoughtslvl1]

The pain I felt shot through my heart

It would of killed me

It should of killed me

God why didn’t it kill me.

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #deep thinking #deppresing thoughts #please help #please find help

[randomthoughtslvl1]

People always talk about the day they died

I don’t really think that’s true

They speak as if they are a broken clock

I feel

As if I was always broken

A manufactured product made flawed

That was the day I died

I didn’t even get a chance to live

Before all they saw were the scars.

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #deep thinking #deppresing thoughts #please help #brokenpieces #sometimes the best thing to do is give up

[randomthoughtslvl1]

Someone is holding my soul hostage

One day I will find them

And I will forgive them

Because In the end

As I look in the mirror

All I see

Is a soul worth apologizing for

Not one worth fighting for

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #deep thinking #deppresing thoughts #please help #if you relate to this I’m so sorry

[randomthoughtslvl1]

I can’t quit

I can’t be quiet

I can’t speak the truth

For their is no truth left to give

I talk too much

I type wordy sentences

My eyes are common brown

I am yet another immigrants child

I do not belong here

Not do I belong anywhere else

I am a lost child

Born in one country yet belonging to neither

My soul is not split

For they have no place to call home

I tried really I did

I tried

I tried

I tried

But it will NEVER be enough for you

And even more frightening

It will never be enough for me

#deep thoughts #i dont know #random #deep thinking #deppresing thoughts #please help #immigrant children #lost soul #i tried

[randomthoughtslvl1]

Daggers dig into my skin

Ivory tusks stab into my heart

Tears drown my screams

As I look up onto the broken shards of my families hopes and dreams

My father

Studied night and day

To bring us here

My mother

Was top of her class

To give us this life

My brothers

Follow closely behind

And I

Am here

Because not even my best

Was good enough for them

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #deep thinking #deppresing thoughts #please help #daddy issues #mommy issues #family issues #brother issues

[randomthoughtslvl1]

What if

What if you weren’t just a mistake

What if you were just a child

What if you weren’t ungrateful

What if you were just trying

What if all this time

You were trying your best and searching for reasons to be alive every day

And just got tired

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #deep thinking #deppresing thoughts #please help

[randomthoughtslvl1]

Fuck the dark

Fuck the ocean

Fuck the damn caves

You want to know what’s really scary?

Waking up

THAT is scary

Being in a daydream with characters who care

And waking up to see people who don’t

Seeing a world with lovely leaders

Then living in one with corrupt tyrants

Being loved

Then being hated

THAT is scary

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #deep thinking #deppresing thoughts #please help #maladaptive daydreaming #daydreaming again #immersive daydreaming #just daydreaming #always daydreaming

[randomthoughtslvl1]

My writing has spun into rants

My heart spun into a machine

My poems with rhymes

Carefully spun into intricate shapes

Descended into cries

As my exhaustion reaches my heart

The words I once seeked joy in

Turned into something I seek explanation in

The book of my pain

Summarized into a sentence

But a sentence can’t explain me

It cannot help me

It cannot help you

Even if it tries to

#deep thoughts #random #i dont know #deep thinking #deppresing thoughts #please help

[randomthoughtslvl1]

If anything I said is relatable to you please seek help

Anyways who wants to go to the darkest corner of the room with me and cry?

#deep thoughts #i dont know #random #deppresing thoughts #please help

[randomthoughtslvl1]

I did not grow excited for my future

I grew surprised I made it through another year

I didn’t grow playing catch with my dad

Or helping my mom with dishes

I grew watching my little brothers having that parents I never had

I grew being more like a therapist then a daughter

I grew being more of a object then a human

So I’m SORRY if I stop talking randomly

I’m SORRY if I don’t respond or join you to play a game

I’ve always been sorry

But nobody’s really been sorry for me

#deep thoughts #random #deep thinking #i dont know #deppresing thoughts #please help #i need therapy

[randomthoughtslvl1]

“Why do you give up so easily?”

“Why do you think these things?”

“Why are you like this?”

Why?

Maybe we don’t know why

Maybe we just do

Maybe they’re is no cure

Maybe it’s worse then the flu

Maybe I have no idea

Maybe I’m trying

Or maybe I’m so fucking tired all the time it feels like I’m dying

What if that’s just the case

What if deep down

I am

And all your doing is adding sticks to the flame

And those sticks

Might even have a name

#deep thoughts #random #deep thinking #i dont know #deppresing thoughts #please help