seungkizu

[seungkizu]

Love you so much it hurts

Heeseung x Fem!Reader; a Hanahaki au

Hanahaki

-a fictional disease where a victim coughs up their love's favorite flowers after suffering one sided love.

 Warnings: Blood, Vomiting

Summary: 

Being in love has always had consequences, you didn't think that falling for Heeseung would have any since he was the sweetest–always bought you flowers, pulled the chair out for you when you two went out, never let you touch any door handle as he would always be ahead of you, kissing you always, and expressing his endless love. But why were you coughing up daisies?

You regretted many things in life, but being Heeseung's girlfriend? Never. You two were always so close, so sweet to each other. He had asked you out for the first time with the help of his friend, Jay, when you two were still in highschool. You had gone through the ups and downs of college together. 

He was the man you thought you'd walk the aisle for. The man you would speak your vows to. The man who would be with you forever. But no. It was never meant to be.

One morning, you woke up on the bed by yourself. He'd already gone to work, you sighed. You wouldn't have woken up this early had it not been for the piercing pain in your chest. This had been occurring for the past few weeks, but now it seems as if it had gotten so much worse. 

You felt the urge to vomit. You ran to the bathroom as quick as you could and started to dry cough on the sink. Then you saw it. Blood? What? You saw something come out of your mouth covered in blood. You picked it up from the sink and washed it. It was a small white petal. 

How? You knew what it meant. Your mom had died this way. Your father drifted apart from her and cheated on her with someone else. Leaving your mom all alone. There was nothing you could do to save her. After being handed the divorce papers, all she did was stay home, lie in bed, and cry herself to sleep. Then, one day, she coughed up small chrysanthemum petals and passed out in your arms.

You took her to the ER and there you realized. It was too late. She was dead upon arrival. And your father had the audacity to ask how you were doing after basically flaunting his affair in his now-ex-wife's funeral. There you stood at the funeral. Watching as your mom was lowered deeper and deeper underground.

That was until you felt a hand caress your back in a comforting manner. It was like your mom's touch. There he was, Heeseung. The Heeseung that helped you stand back up after you fell into the abyss of grief-depression. The Heeseung that always made sure you were okay. The Heeseung that always made sure you never felt left out. The Heeseung that asked you out on that fateful day that marked the beginning of what you thought was your forever. 

But it wasn't. Your chest was painful. Not because of the thorns that pierced through your body, but because of the realization that for him, you really weren't enough. He clearly loved you. He admitted it many times while drunk. Does that mean he fell out of love?

It hurt. It hurt so bad.

Later that night, he came home. You tried to clean the bathroom as well as you could and threw away any possible evidence of what happened earlier that day. He hugged you, kissed you on the forehead, and whispered his promise of love to you.

But you knew the truth. Yet, you did your best to show your most genuine smile, but that smile cracked, and tears formed in your eyes. His face fell into confusion. Looking at you as if he was trying to solve a puzzle he couldn't grasp.

You took hold of his hands on your waist and took it off. “How long?” You asked.

“How long? What do you mean ‘how long’?” He asked, with the same amount of confusion he had earlier. Maybe even more.

“Do you not love me anymore?” You asked. Tears flowing down your face as your knees fell under your weight. You couldn't hold yourself up anymore. That's when he realized what you were talking about

“____, I'm sorry” He repeated apologies over and over again as he tried to comfort you. Reminding you of that exact same comfort he gave to the first day you met each other. Except this time, you weren't strangers.

“Heeseung, I love you so much. I'm sorry”

“It wasn't you, it was me. I never intended to hurt you that way” He whispered, tears flowing down the face you once loved. 

“Heeseung, I'm sorry, I don't think this will work anymore. I’m letting you go, Heeseung.” You said through choked sobs as you stood up and took the bag you packed on the couch. You left, never looking back to the love you'd have to call a memory from now.

Back in the apartment, Heeseung cried. He lost you. He didn't know how it happened, but he started to lose the spark he lit up between you two, and he knew he couldn't stop the truth from coming out. So he ran. He ran away from the truth. He forced himself to love you again to protect you from getting hurt. But, it hurt you even more.

He truly lost you. The person who made him and broke him.

_

3 years later

–

Amidst the cold of winter, Heeseung rubbed his gloves together, hoping to warm up a little more. The clanking of bells could be heard as Heeseung walked into his cafe. He ordered his favorite coffee and started to head out. But he bumped into a girl who seemed to have paid no mind to where she was going.

“Oh! I'm so sorry!”

His heart stopped beating as he recognized the familiar face and that familiar voice. It was the face he once kissed every morning, the one he'd whisper his forever to, and the face of the person he once loved.

“_____?” His voice came out choked.

“Yes? Do I know you?” The girl asked him.

“Uh-”

“_____! I think Layla would want a pup cup!” A voice came from a distance.

“A pup cup? But it's freezing outside!” The girl turned around, and Heeseung saw it. A man holding a fluffy cream colored dog on a leash.

“Uh, sorry mister. But I have to go. See you later and Take Care!” She waved at him before running to who Heeseung assumed to be her boyfriend.

And He was proven right as the man kissed her cheek as they went back into the cafe with their dog.

‘I hope he treats you much better than I did. I never deserved you _____, I’m sorry’ Heeseung whispered as he felt his tears gather in his eyes. 

‘I love you so much it hurts. But I never deserved you. I'm glad you found someone who'd treat you the way you deserve. I'm sorry it wasn't me. I hope in our next life, I'd be a better person for you’ He wanted to chase you so badly. But, he didn't.

Instead, he turned around and ran away again. It was what he was best at. But this time, it was for the better. He coughed up blood again. As he always did, the past 2 years.

The END.

[seungkizu]

Love you so much it hurts

Heeseung x Fem!Reader; a Hanahaki au

Hanahaki

-a fictional disease where a victim coughs up their love's favorite flowers after suffering one sided love.

 Warnings: Blood, Vomiting

Summary: 

Being in love has always had consequences, you didn't think that falling for Heeseung would have any since he was the sweetest–always bought you flowers, pulled the chair out for you when you two went out, never let you touch any door handle as he would always be ahead of you, kissing you always, and expressing his endless love. But why were you coughing up daisies?

You regretted many things in life, but being Heeseung's girlfriend? Never. You two were always so close, so sweet to each other. He had asked you out for the first time with the help of his friend, Jay, when you two were still in highschool. You had gone through the ups and downs of college together. 

He was the man you thought you'd walk the aisle for. The man you would speak your vows to. The man who would be with you forever. But no. It was never meant to be.

One morning, you woke up on the bed by yourself. He'd already gone to work, you sighed. You wouldn't have woken up this early had it not been for the piercing pain in your chest. This had been occurring for the past few weeks, but now it seems as if it had gotten so much worse. 

You felt the urge to vomit. You ran to the bathroom as quick as you could and started to dry cough on the sink. Then you saw it. Blood? What? You saw something come out of your mouth covered in blood. You picked it up from the sink and washed it. It was a small white petal. 

How? You knew what it meant. Your mom had died this way. Your father drifted apart from her and cheated on her with someone else. Leaving your mom all alone. There was nothing you could do to save her. After being handed the divorce papers, all she did was stay home, lie in bed, and cry herself to sleep. Then, one day, she coughed up small chrysanthemum petals and passed out in your arms.

You took her to the ER and there you realized. It was too late. She was dead upon arrival. And your father had the audacity to ask how you were doing after basically flaunting his affair in his now-ex-wife's funeral. There you stood at the funeral. Watching as your mom was lowered deeper and deeper underground.

That was until you felt a hand caress your back in a comforting manner. It was like your mom's touch. There he was, Heeseung. The Heeseung that helped you stand back up after you fell into the abyss of grief-depression. The Heeseung that always made sure you were okay. The Heeseung that always made sure you never felt left out. The Heeseung that asked you out on that fateful day that marked the beginning of what you thought was your forever. 

But it wasn't. Your chest was painful. Not because of the thorns that pierced through your body, but because of the realization that for him, you really weren't enough. He clearly loved you. He admitted it many times while drunk. Does that mean he fell out of love?

It hurt. It hurt so bad.

Later that night, he came home. You tried to clean the bathroom as well as you could and threw away any possible evidence of what happened earlier that day. He hugged you, kissed you on the forehead, and whispered his promise of love to you.

But you knew the truth. Yet, you did your best to show your most genuine smile, but that smile cracked, and tears formed in your eyes. His face fell into confusion. Looking at you as if he was trying to solve a puzzle he couldn't grasp.

You took hold of his hands on your waist and took it off. “How long?” You asked.

“How long? What do you mean ‘how long’?” He asked, with the same amount of confusion he had earlier. Maybe even more.

“Do you not love me anymore?” You asked. Tears flowing down your face as your knees fell under your weight. You couldn't hold yourself up anymore. That's when he realized what you were talking about

“____, I'm sorry” He repeated apologies over and over again as he tried to comfort you. Reminding you of that exact same comfort he gave to the first day you met each other. Except this time, you weren't strangers.

“Heeseung, I love you so much. I'm sorry”

“It wasn't you, it was me. I never intended to hurt you that way” He whispered, tears flowing down the face you once loved. 

“Heeseung, I'm sorry, I don't think this will work anymore. I’m letting you go, Heeseung.” You said through choked sobs as you stood up and took the bag you packed on the couch. You left, never looking back to the love you'd have to call a memory from now.

Back in the apartment, Heeseung cried. He lost you. He didn't know how it happened, but he started to lose the spark he lit up between you two, and he knew he couldn't stop the truth from coming out. So he ran. He ran away from the truth. He forced himself to love you again to protect you from getting hurt. But, it hurt you even more.

He truly lost you. The person who made him and broke him.

_

3 years later

–

Amidst the cold of winter, Heeseung rubbed his gloves together, hoping to warm up a little more. The clanking of bells could be heard as Heeseung walked into his cafe. He ordered his favorite coffee and started to head out. But he bumped into a girl who seemed to have paid no mind to where she was going.

“Oh! I'm so sorry!”

His heart stopped beating as he recognized the familiar face and that familiar voice. It was the face he once kissed every morning, the one he'd whisper his forever to, and the face of the person he once loved.

“_____?” His voice came out choked.

“Yes? Do I know you?” The girl asked him.

“Uh-”

“_____! I think Layla would want a pup cup!” A voice came from a distance.

“A pup cup? But it's freezing outside!” The girl turned around, and Heeseung saw it. A man holding a fluffy cream colored dog on a leash.

“Uh, sorry mister. But I have to go. See you later and Take Care!” She waved at him before running to who Heeseung assumed to be her boyfriend.

And He was proven right as the man kissed her cheek as they went back into the cafe with their dog.

‘I hope he treats you much better than I did. I never deserved you _____, I’m sorry’ Heeseung whispered as he felt his tears gather in his eyes. 

‘I love you so much it hurts. But I never deserved you. I'm glad you found someone who'd treat you the way you deserve. I'm sorry it wasn't me. I hope in our next life, I'd be a better person for you’ He wanted to chase you so badly. But, he didn't.

Instead, he turned around and ran away again. It was what he was best at. But this time, it was for the better. He coughed up blood again. As he always did, the past 2 years.

The END.

[seungkizu]

Love you so much it hurts

Heeseung x Fem!Reader; a Hanahaki au

Hanahaki

-a fictional disease where a victim coughs up their love's favorite flowers after suffering one sided love.

 Warnings: Blood, Vomiting

Summary: 

Being in love has always had consequences, you didn't think that falling for Heeseung would have any since he was the sweetest–always bought you flowers, pulled the chair out for you when you two went out, never let you touch any door handle as he would always be ahead of you, kissing you always, and expressing his endless love. But why were you coughing up daisies?

You regretted many things in life, but being Heeseung's girlfriend? Never. You two were always so close, so sweet to each other. He had asked you out for the first time with the help of his friend, Jay, when you two were still in highschool. You had gone through the ups and downs of college together. 

He was the man you thought you'd walk the aisle for. The man you would speak your vows to. The man who would be with you forever. But no. It was never meant to be.

One morning, you woke up on the bed by yourself. He'd already gone to work, you sighed. You wouldn't have woken up this early had it not been for the piercing pain in your chest. This had been occurring for the past few weeks, but now it seems as if it had gotten so much worse. 

You felt the urge to vomit. You ran to the bathroom as quick as you could and started to dry cough on the sink. Then you saw it. Blood? What? You saw something come out of your mouth covered in blood. You picked it up from the sink and washed it. It was a small white petal. 

How? You knew what it meant. Your mom had died this way. Your father drifted apart from her and cheated on her with someone else. Leaving your mom all alone. There was nothing you could do to save her. After being handed the divorce papers, all she did was stay home, lie in bed, and cry herself to sleep. Then, one day, she coughed up small chrysanthemum petals and passed out in your arms.

You took her to the ER and there you realized. It was too late. She was dead upon arrival. And your father had the audacity to ask how you were doing after basically flaunting his affair in his now-ex-wife's funeral. There you stood at the funeral. Watching as your mom was lowered deeper and deeper underground.

That was until you felt a hand caress your back in a comforting manner. It was like your mom's touch. There he was, Heeseung. The Heeseung that helped you stand back up after you fell into the abyss of grief-depression. The Heeseung that always made sure you were okay. The Heeseung that always made sure you never felt left out. The Heeseung that asked you out on that fateful day that marked the beginning of what you thought was your forever. 

But it wasn't. Your chest was painful. Not because of the thorns that pierced through your body, but because of the realization that for him, you really weren't enough. He clearly loved you. He admitted it many times while drunk. Does that mean he fell out of love?

It hurt. It hurt so bad.

Later that night, he came home. You tried to clean the bathroom as well as you could and threw away any possible evidence of what happened earlier that day. He hugged you, kissed you on the forehead, and whispered his promise of love to you.

But you knew the truth. Yet, you did your best to show your most genuine smile, but that smile cracked, and tears formed in your eyes. His face fell into confusion. Looking at you as if he was trying to solve a puzzle he couldn't grasp.

You took hold of his hands on your waist and took it off. “How long?” You asked.

“How long? What do you mean ‘how long’?” He asked, with the same amount of confusion he had earlier. Maybe even more.

“Do you not love me anymore?” You asked. Tears flowing down your face as your knees fell under your weight. You couldn't hold yourself up anymore. That's when he realized what you were talking about

“____, I'm sorry” He repeated apologies over and over again as he tried to comfort you. Reminding you of that exact same comfort he gave to the first day you met each other. Except this time, you weren't strangers.

“Heeseung, I love you so much. I'm sorry”

“It wasn't you, it was me. I never intended to hurt you that way” He whispered, tears flowing down the face you once loved. 

“Heeseung, I'm sorry, I don't think this will work anymore. I’m letting you go, Heeseung.” You said through choked sobs as you stood up and took the bag you packed on the couch. You left, never looking back to the love you'd have to call a memory from now.

Back in the apartment, Heeseung cried. He lost you. He didn't know how it happened, but he started to lose the spark he lit up between you two, and he knew he couldn't stop the truth from coming out. So he ran. He ran away from the truth. He forced himself to love you again to protect you from getting hurt. But, it hurt you even more.

He truly lost you. The person who made him and broke him.

_

3 years later

–

Amidst the cold of winter, Heeseung rubbed his gloves together, hoping to warm up a little more. The clanking of bells could be heard as Heeseung walked into his cafe. He ordered his favorite coffee and started to head out. But he bumped into a girl who seemed to have paid no mind to where she was going.

“Oh! I'm so sorry!”

His heart stopped beating as he recognized the familiar face and that familiar voice. It was the face he once kissed every morning, the one he'd whisper his forever to, and the face of the person he once loved.

“_____?” His voice came out choked.

“Yes? Do I know you?” The girl asked him.

“Uh-”

“_____! I think Layla would want a pup cup!” A voice came from a distance.

“A pup cup? But it's freezing outside!” The girl turned around, and Heeseung saw it. A man holding a fluffy cream colored dog on a leash.

“Uh, sorry mister. But I have to go. See you later and Take Care!” She waved at him before running to who Heeseung assumed to be her boyfriend.

And He was proven right as the man kissed her cheek as they went back into the cafe with their dog.

‘I hope he treats you much better than I did. I never deserved you _____, I’m sorry’ Heeseung whispered as he felt his tears gather in his eyes. 

‘I love you so much it hurts. But I never deserved you. I'm glad you found someone who'd treat you the way you deserve. I'm sorry it wasn't me. I hope in our next life, I'd be a better person for you’ He wanted to chase you so badly. But, he didn't.

Instead, he turned around and ran away again. It was what he was best at. But this time, it was for the better. He coughed up blood again. As he always did, the past 2 years.

The END.

#heeseung #enhypen #enhypen angst #heeseung angst #jake #jake sim #lee heeseung #heeseung lee #angst #heeseung x reader