spydersbite

[spydersbite]

heartheblackdamncanary​:

(✉ → spider-babe): you just liked the sight of me on my back for once. (✉ → spider-babe): I don’t /beg/ anyone, Drew.

(✉ → madripoor chicken): I’ve seen it more than once. (✉ → madripoor chicken): Would’ve seen it more, too, but I decided to bask in the moment instead. You’re shaming me for being appreciative. (✉ → madripoor chicken): Could’ve fooled me.

#dinah: hospital #char: dinah lance #texts

[spydersbite]

twentyninetynines​:

(✉️ ➡️ déjala): the best friend you have who’s awake? how many people did you text before me? (✉️ ➡️ déjala): [unsent] how do you know about my flattery kink? you’re not supposed to learn about that until 2097 at the /earliest/ (✉️ ➡️ déjala): no. (✉️ ➡️ déjala): for reasons you can’t yet disclose? (✉️ ➡️ déjala): god this is spy shit, isn’t it? you need a mankini for spy shit.  […] (✉️ ➡️ déjala): ugh never mind (✉️ ➡️ déjala): buy your own mankini

(✉ → miggy): If I tell you, will you get that little pout on? (✉ → miggy): I’ll say it was no more than three and leave it at that! (✉ → miggy): Damn, I really thought that would do it. (✉ → miggy): It’s absolutely not spy shit! Sometimes a girl just needs secrets, damn. (✉ → miggy): What kind of mission would I need a mankini for? Use that big brain of yours, Mig. [...] (✉ → miggy): Boo, you whore. (✉ → miggy): That’s from Mean Girls, by the way. Because I’m cultured. (✉ → miggy): I don’t know anything about your sex life. Though the frequent nudity gives me some 

#miguel: mankini #char: miguel o'hara #texts

[spydersbite]

I’m not waiting, but I’m willing if you call me up

@spydersbite

#;; that's his superpower || clint barton #;; born broken || self #edit

[spydersbite]

x

#;; born broken || self #edit #flashing gif tw

[spydersbite]

david castañeda & inbar lavi

#(( one word: yum )) #(( those coLOURS DAMN )) #;; a reason to stay || miguel o'hara #;; born broken || self #edit

[spydersbite]

shakeandquake‌:

(✉️ ➡️ totally not spider-woman ): does it have an expiration date?  (✉️ ➡️ totally not spider-woman ): weak. i would hold both for a long time (✉️ ➡️ totally not spider-woman ): greasy? what does this guy not shower? put too much gel in his hair? who is this guy (✉️ ➡️ totally not spider-woman ): jess i’m scared what if it IS sexts? i don’t want to read her porn thoughts (✉️ ➡️ totally not spider-woman ): but i could figure out who this guy is if i did it  (✉️ ➡️ totally not spider-woman ): *gasp* they were roommates! i would love to be introduced. i believe you know her! i’m just mad you didn’t tell me before (✉️ ➡️ totally not spider-woman ): i don’t want to die tho! i can’t just outright ask, that would be bad (✉️ ➡️ totally not spider-woman ): listen i used to live in one (✉️ ➡️ totally not spider-woman ): frankly, my van is more homey than my apartment  (✉️ ➡️ totally not spider-woman ): it’s warm if you have the right kind of blankets!  (✉️ ➡️ totally not spider-woman ): that’s terrible, you’re terrible 

(✉ → daisy dukes): his dcik? nah ive heard its giong well eevn as an old mna (✉ → daisy dukes): grsos. i prefre captains (✉ → daisy dukes): i dnot’ KNOW she won’t tell me. she gtes this look on her fcae and it’s even MORE gross (✉ → daisy dukes): give it tot me. i wnat to read (✉ → daisy dukes): in a nto gay way. curiosity only (✉ → daisy dukes): i knwo her v well. she redas bedtime stories (✉ → daisy dukes): about spACE (✉ → daisy dukes): die, daisy. dien for th ecause (✉ → daisy dukes): see. (✉ → daisy dukes): yuor van beats otu my place too then (✉ → daisy dukes): so now yuor’e inviting me to mkae a blanket fort? (✉ → daisy dukes): non (✉ → daisy dukes): that’s no in mnay langues bc i’m the best

#daisy: drunk #char: daisy johnson #texts

[spydersbite]

supersoldierwithoutashield‌:

(✉ → Jessica Drew): Uh huh.  (✉ → Jessica Drew): Haven’t heard from Fury recently, so I guess I’ll just have to take your word on that.  (✉ → Jessica Drew): Just kidding. You have a reputation for being a very good agent.  (✉ → Jessica Drew): How long do you think we can wait in this situation? (✉ → Jessica Drew): Hypothetically speaking, of course.  (✉ → Jessica Drew): That wasn’t planned, it just sort of… happened. That kind of thing happens to me a lot.  (✉ → Jessica Drew):  I wouldn’t have minded. You can’t help where you came from, and you would’ve known what we were up against.  (✉ → Jessica Drew)[UNSENT]: Not as much as you might think. (✉ → Jessica Drew): Suppose I do. Interested? (✉ → Jessica Drew): Hypothetically speaking, still.  (✉ → Jessica Drew): It’s okay.  (✉ → Jessica Drew): Things are wonderful complicated. But Iron Man isn’t my enemy here, and I’ve never thought of him that way. 

(✉ → captain oshIT): That is the single most disapproving text message I’ve ever read in my life, and that’s coming from /me/. (✉ → captain oshIT): It’s almost impressive. (✉ → captain oshIT): Is that the reputation you’re going with? (✉ → captain oshIT): Better ‘good agent’ than ‘Hawkeye’s ex,’ I guess. (✉ → captain oshIT): I think, hypothetically, people are getting a little testy. I’ve heard there will be movements very soon that might open up a gulf for change. (✉ → captain oshIT): It happened, it was cool, no need to be humble about it. (✉ → captain oshIT): You know, starting out in SHIELD would’ve been a lot easier if I had people react like that. (✉ → captain oshIT): I’m not disinterested. (✉ → captain oshIT): Hypothetically. Because I’m cool, too. (✉ → captain oshIT): You’re reacting a lot better than he did. I mentioned you, he choked on his drink. (✉ → captain oshIT): UNSENT Probably not the only thing he wants to choke on, but ... okay, not for the forties. (✉ → captain oshIT): You’re very loyal, you know that? (✉ → captain oshIT): It’s creeping me out.

#steve: tired #char: steve rogers #texts

[spydersbite]

(✉ → madripoor chicken): You really pulled off the invalid look, though. You were giving all the nurses chest pain. (✉ → madripoor chicken): Hold on, /that’s/ the story you’re going with? (✉ → madripoor chicken): You’re the one that begged me to throw you off the roof! (✉ → madripoor chicken): You don’t get to dare me to do things then be pissed when I do them. That’s against the team up code.

[text] Are we going to end up in the hospital again? || @spydersbite

(✉ → spider-babe): okay, to be fair… not /all/ of us have healing powers and that concussion was so bad I couldn’t keep food down for a week. (✉ → spider-babe): i wasn’t expecting you to get so surprised that you threw me off a roof, JD! (✉ → spider-babe): and besides, i just got back in the country so I need a little team-up fun! 

#(( yes the text name is back )) #dinah: hospital #char: dinah lance #texts

[spydersbite]

(✉ → ric’s beau): Door accessory. I love your brain, you funky little man. (✉ → ric’s beau): I could totally turn this into a hammer. (✉ → ric’s beau): See? Great minds think alike! (✉ → ric’s beau): I’m beginning to think it might have been someone very rich, or a poor guy with a singular interest in dropping his cash on doorknobs. (✉ → ric’s beau): It’s gold. Genuine gold.

[ @spydersbite ] i found a door knob in my purse this morning, i hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today.

[ OUTGOING → DOESN’T WANT ME DEAD ] perhaps you needed it more than they did and whoever is missing their door accessory can figure out what to do without one

[ OUTGOING → DOESN’T WANT ME DEAD ]  it is yours now to do whatever you want with

[ OUTGOING → DOESN’T WANT ME DEAD ]  might even make a good weapon if there’s nothing else around

[ OUTGOING → DOESN’T WANT ME DEAD ]  do you really have no idea who it belonged to?

#shatterstar: doorknob #char: shatterstar #texts

[spydersbite]

(✉ → cooler hawkeye): Katherine. (✉ → cooler hawkeye): Is your name Katherine? I can never tell if people actually have full names or not. (✉ → cooler hawkeye): It’s Moth Man’s buddy this time. (✉ → cooler hawkeye): Worm Boy. (✉ → cooler hawkeye): He packs a bigger punch than his name does, but of course. My nose has healed up beautifully. (✉ → cooler hawkeye): By which I mean you need to break it for me again so I can set it right this time.

[text] It’s all fun and games till someone says you’re so pretty they could punch you and they, you know, punch you [ @spydersbite ]

( 📩 → Spider-Not-Man ): Jessica. ( 📩 → Spider-Not-Man ): Men are collectively unfailingly categorically terrible ( 📩 → Spider-Not-Man ): Who are we beating up and how many fancy trick arrows do they deserve ( 📩 → Spider-Not-Man ): Also oh my god are you ok? 

#(( won't let me cut :// )) #kate: terrible #char: kate bishop #texts

[spydersbite]

deathfxrhire‌:

[ ✉ → DREW ] Have you considered that you might need to make some friends?  (narrator vc: he’s one to talk) [ ✉ → DREW ] Didn’t think you could get the warm fuzzies, Drew.   […] [ ✉ → DREW ] Fortunately we didn’t get to find out how it’d go. [ ✉ → DREW ] They?  No.  I’m betting Ross is in the same boat as everyone else, I’m sure that man has some nasty skeletons in his closet.  Haven’t heard anything on my end.  But I know they’ll be on my ass if they find out I was fine and didn’t do anything after the fact. [ ✉ → DREW ] Besides.  Magical dancing witch?  Sounds like an entertaining time. [ ✉ → DREW ] Precisely. […] [ ✉ → DREW ] Nothing would give me warmer fuzzies.

(✉ → hot, wants to kill me): I have friends. I have lots of friends. I have a super hot space messiah roommate. I have a friend that creates earthquakes. Tony Stark hit on me at a party, once. I know a dude with a bow. (✉ → hot, wants to kill me): It usually happens right before I get shot. Or shoot someone else. Hoping for the latter. [...] (✉ → hot, wants to kill me): You’ll have plausible deniability. They can’t tell you that you /aren’t/ crazy, from personal experience. (✉ → hot, wants to kill me): I hate magic. (✉ → hot, wants to kill me): It gives me the heebie jeebies.  (✉ → hot, wants to kill me): My first supervillain was a sexy witch from Arthurian times. Not eager to go back. (✉ → hot, wants to kill me): But I do have a friend who could prove useful. (✉ → hot, wants to kill me): See? I have friends! [...] (✉ → hot, wants to kill me): You just need to admit you’re hot for me, Slade. This could all go smoother.

#slade: pieces #char: slade wilson #texts #(( NARRATOR VC ))

[spydersbite]

captainmarvelofthestars‌:

(✉ → Best Girl): Oh, but it’s so much better if I tell it in person!  (✉ → Best Girl): Honestly, that’s 100% true. You really oughta share this mutation with the world, or at least with your very best friend.  (✉ → Best Girl): Mothy has spirit? I thought we called it ‘mental instability.’ (✉ → Best Girl): I mean, /you/ said Space Messiah, not me! (✉ → Best Girl): I never bluff.  (✉ → Best Girl): You emote for me, babycakes. And it’s adorable. 

(✉ → kirk to my spock): Then stop texting me from the other room and tell me a bedtime story, goddamn. (✉ → kirk to my spock): You would use the mutation for evil. You’re already cycling between hairstyles faster than I can keep track. (✉ → kirk to my spock): Hey, don’t psychoanalyse the Moth Man! It’ll just damage my faith in humanity beyond repair. (✉ → kirk to my spock): No, /you/ said Space Messiah. I remember it after the fifth tequila. (✉ → kirk to my spock): You bluff to me. It’s because I’m special. (✉ → kirk to my spock): Nope! That’s me acting. Emoting is a separate thing altogether.

#carol: balls #char: carol danvers #texts

[spydersbite]

ofalexdanvers‌:

(✉ → pain in the ass): well it’s good to know you’re only vaguley worried (✉ → pain in the ass): where did you hear that? (✉ → pain in the ass): you shouldn’t believe everything you hear Drew

(✉ → deo director): If I’m ever more than vaguely, you will know I’ve been replaced by shapeshifting aliens. (✉ → deo director): I’ve got ears in every wall, Danvers. (✉ → deo director): I’m believing it. I’m believing it so hard. You just need to confirm it so I can get a new badge.

#alex: mad #char: alex danvers #texts

[spydersbite]

ofmockeryandbirds‌:

(✉ → JD): why would Fury ask me to destroy a book? (✉ → JD): It was one of SHIELD’s aircraft carriers (✉ → JD): I had my reasons

(✉ → boberto): There was that book the one time. (✉ → boberto): Remember the book that tried to kill everyone? I noped out the second it arrived. (✉ → boberto): I knew that. I was just playing dumb. (✉ → boberto): Tell me your reasons. Please.

#bobbi: angry #char: bobbi morse #texts

[spydersbite]

hawknotguy‌:

( 📩 → Spider-Not-Man ): Wait you mean people aren’t just bluffing it all the time??? ( 📩 → Spider-Not-Man ): Sounds fake but ok ( 📩 → Spider-Not-Man ): VODKA ON A BONFIRE ( 📩 → Spider-Not-Man ): Yes let’s blow up the futzing city they probably deserve it [ … ] ( 📩 → Spider-Not-Man ): I don’t want to answer that on the grounds that you should know the answer

(✉ → cooler hawkeye): People are always bluffing about everything. There’s just sometimes an element of truth in there at the same time. (✉ → cooler hawkeye): Everything is also fake. (✉ → cooler hawkeye): I’m being very cryptic today. (✉ → cooler hawkeye): Woah okay hold on. (✉ → cooler hawkeye): If we’re blowing up a city, I need a better dress. Buy me a nice dress. [...] (✉ → cooler hawkeye): I didn’t give birth to you, why should I know the answer?

#kate: busy #char: kate bishop #texts

[spydersbite]

the-hellblxzer‌:

[jess] i /always/ got shit. story of me life [jess] but i was exclaimin this time, not offerin […] [jess] uh yeah. /significantly/ [jess] great. i’ll text you the […] [jess] easier said than done. not sure where i even am […] [jess] still textin ain’t i? can’t text from beyond the grave [jess] well ok, sometimes lost souls can mess with phones and [jess] nevermind. i ain’t dead, let’s just leave it at that yeah? [….] [jess] glad to know you care, jess [jess] yeah, yeah. it’s on now.

(✉ → constantinople): Your shit is usually cooler shit than my shit. (✉ → constantinople): My shit is Moth Man level shit. (✉ → constantinople): Well now you’re offering, because I’m asking. [...] (✉ → constantinople): Oh dear, have you been killed? (✉ → constantinople): I’m not scraping John pieces off the walls if you have. [...] (✉ → constantinople): The X-Men text from beyond the grave. That’s what Ric told me, and Ric knows everything. (✉ → constantinople): Never tell Ric I said that, by the way. (✉ → constantinople): See! You’re proving my point. [...] (✉ → constantinople): Ew, you’re in /Jersey/?

#john: busy #char: john constantine #texts

[spydersbite]

shattcrs‌:

[ OUTGOING → WANTS ME DEAD? ]  so it sounds like this man made of moths is your biggest fan instead?

[ OUTGOING → WANTS ME DEAD? ]  perhaps you need a restraining order against him!

[ OUTGOING → WANTS ME DEAD? ]  i have never played monopoly, maybe i’ll have to give it a try. is this a game meant to make others angry while you play?

[ OUTGOING → WANTS ME DEAD? ]  sometimes it can be difficult to trust someone’s true intentions until you get to know them.

[ OUTGOING → WANTS ME DEAD? ]  i’m sorry if my honesty was unsettling. i don’t like lying especially to new friends. 😃 it explains my ‘bizarre behavior’ as some call it.

[ OUTGOING → WANTS ME DEAD? ]  if you’d like i could stab those scientists for you. nobody should go through that.

[ OUTGOING → WANTS ME DEAD? ]  i would love nothing more than to be ric defending partners. we’ll need to make these the coolest shirts. they have to be green, ric loves green.

(✉ → ric’s beau): ... Okay, I can go with that. Moth Man is the world’s greatest Spider-Woman fan, you’re right. (✉ → ric’s beau): Shit. Spoiler alert ig: I’m Spider-Woman too. That’s on the lowdown. (✉ → ric’s beau): I don’t think they give out restraining orders to vigilantes. (✉ → ric’s beau): I’m not entirely sure it’s /meant/ to, but it is an ultimately unavoidable side effect. (✉ → ric’s beau): Is that what we’re doing? Getting to know each other? (✉ → ric’s beau): What’s bizarre is that you’re nice. Most people, in my experience, aren’t nice. (✉ → ric’s beau): We could find them and stab them together, if you wanted a day out? I could bring a picnic! (✉ → ric’s beau): I’ve got some dirt to smear across them too. He loves the dirt.

#shatterstar: busy #char: shatterstar #texts