stank-tony

[stank-tony]

hey what was in the water with the stucky fandom for real they did some off the fucking chainnnn things on ao3 and for what.

#truly ca:tws era stucky #and post-xmen fc fics #went SO FUCKING HARD #like #truly art #better than a lot of published fiction ive been coerced into reading

[stank-tony]

i think we as a society went through a period where people watched every marvel movie because they’re marvel movies. So, which of these movies was the last one you watched before only watching Marvel movies you’re genuinely interested in seeing?

(some titles are shortened/condensed to fit into the character limit)

#i watched every one up to antman #and i like paul rudd #but i was just so fucking bored of marvel picking another white dude #and then not watching it had no impact on any other move #haven't seen a single marvel movie since endgame #havent watched a single disney+ #probably won't

[stank-tony]

hey what was in the water with the stucky fandom for real they did some off the fucking chainnnn things on ao3 and for what.

#this is true #there is a not unsizable chunk of stucky fic that is better than several well-reviewed books i've read recently lol

[stank-tony]

watched guardians 3 this weekend, it was ok. i still hate crisp ratt but he wasn’t really the focus of the movie. about 25% of the movie could have been completely cut, and it would have made it better. 

#drax x mantis brotp #james gunn's entire role could have been cut #hated seeing nathan fillion knowing hes a bag of dicks #cosmo was cute #mantis with her three giant mouth monsters is goals #the whole rocket kissing (???) his mom/girlfriend otter creature was horrifying.

[stank-tony]

kill yourself

the upside would be that i can bully tony personally in hell

#anti tony stark #anti tony stans

[stank-tony]

do you ever see an opinion that’s so terrible that you actually feel bad for that person’s brain

#you know what opinions im talking about

[stank-tony]

tonka stank: tHe MoSt FemAlE CoDed sUperHerOoooo 

thor is for the lesbians, cap is for the bis, iron m*n is for the heteros

#the most female coded superhero? are you sure? lmfao #the erasure of actual women is extrAORDINARY

[stank-tony]

i just wanted to say, its been a minute, but i still fucking hate tony & am happy to see that marvel got so far up its own ass its basically imploding now. love that for all of us. u_u

#cackles maniacally

[stank-tony]

#he's valid

[stank-tony]

well taika liked johnny depp’s instagram post celebrating his repulsive legal victory over AH so i guess he’s fucking cancelled

#god damn it

[stank-tony]

He is right and he should say it.

[stank-tony]

Taika Waititi, perfectly at ease: "Yeah so on top of everything else, what we're also gonna do is throw in a scene or two between Thor and Starlord that are a little fruity, not just for fun but also to really remind people that absolutely EVERY character in this movie is queer, you know?"

Chris Pratt visibly fighting back tears: "Uh huh, uh huh."

#chris pratt self diagnosed with homophobia

[stank-tony]

Fully aware this is a grossly inaccurate oversimplification of complex psychological and sociological trends, I am nevertheless opting to embrace misinformation by believing, regardless of all evidence to the contrary, that Elon Musk dickriding can be blamed on MCU Iron Man

[stank-tony]

in order to combat the homophobia "allegations" I think chris pratt should come out as bi and fabricate an entire fake narrative about him and chris hemsworth being lovers (chris hemsworth starts going by hemmy so that they aren't a chris4chris couple). pratt says that they wanted to tongue kiss on the set of the new thor movie but big marvel silenced them, and #ShowtheKiss starts trending on twitter in support of their brave statement. the two of them get so caught up in this lie that it persists for several years, culminating in them getting married as a publicity stunt before chris pratt ultimately breaks down and comes out as homophobic, divorcing chris hemsworth and posting several angry twitter threads insulting him. instead of coming clean though, chris hemsworth doubles down on the lie and releases a very emotional notes app tweet about how chris pratt shattered his heart during this stressful and complicated divorce. he says that he can no longer go by "chris" or "hemmy" because both of those names remind him too much of his lost love, so he starts going by "sworth" exclusively to cope. of course, the internet collectively loses their shit over the situation and chris pratt's name is permanently ruined as a result, since he has now been labelled the man that made it so sworth can never love again.

#until pratt comes out as homophobic im dyin

[stank-tony]

[stank-tony]

Steve taking one for the team and marrying Howard Stark so that Tony is never born 

[stank-tony]

mcu avengers ranked (why)

t’challa (obviously)

carol danvers (lesbian icon in flannel on a motorcycle)

natasha romanoff (beat up happy hogan for being a sexist pig)

sam wilson (let wanted fugitives into his house bc they’re hot, i get it)

rhodey (kicked drunk tony’s ass at that house party)

steve rogers (kicked tony’s ass in siberia)

thor (brags about how smart his gf is while drunk, a vibe)

scott lang (hates tony stark as much as me)

bruce banner (loses points for helping tony create ultron, gets points for being a good bro to thor)

wanda maximoff (loses points for being whitewashed, gets points for being unhinged)

bucky barnes (he said maybe 15 words across 5 movies, gets points for that thing where he picked up the raccoon and swung him around)

peter parker (tony stark bootlicker)

stephen strange (walking racist trope, gets points for orchestrating tony’s death)

peter quill (i hate chris pratt)

vision (created by war criminal)

clint barton (should have died instead of natasha, spent years straight up murdering people, who gives a fuck if he has a kid as if that makes him inherently more worthy of living than natasha who spent those same years working to keep the survivors on earth safe what the fuck)

tony stark (war criminal)

#anti tony stark #anti vision #anti peter quill #anti stephen strange #anti peter parker #bucky barnes neutral #bruce banner neutral #wanda maximoff neutral #pro scott lang #pro thor #pro steeb #pro rhodey #pro sam wilson #pro natasha romanoff #pro carol danvers #pro tchalla #anti clint barton