starlight788

[starlight788]

[starlight788]

I hate the trope of "I refuse to hit women!! [Gets decked]" cause it's boring but I do like the trope of someone in an RPG going "hey I don't wanna hit a kid that's kinda fucked up" and the kid just obliterates them

[starlight788]

testing out my new set of lockpicks in the petco spider aisle

[starlight788]

[starlight788]

stone. rock even

#ROCK AND STONE! #TO THE BONE

[starlight788]

watch and learn, dumbshits *teleports thirty meters below my current position and suffocates on dirt and clay within seconds*

[starlight788]

[starlight788]

[starlight788]

thanks @bmoharrisbankofficial but unfortunately i can’t focus on the very important message here because i’m too busy being confused by the fact that apparently if you send an ask with only one letter tumblr will bold that letter in the “asked you” notification text?? why the fuck would that be the case

[starlight788]

[starlight788]

I hate when I’m beating My Meat and it heals on low health.

#shitpost

[starlight788]

Iron man is a bug

Bug is a term for something with an exoskeleton. Therefore car is a bug

#shitpost

[starlight788]

Glass half full: optimist

Glass half empty: pessimist

Glass at half of its maximum capacity: ??

#shitpost

[starlight788]

Explain your reasoning plzzz

#in the long run 1k a day is more money #<- investment bro

[starlight788]

nobody:

half full water bottle left behind on the floor of a public bus: *rolls around*

[starlight788]

Soldier just walked into the recreation room, said, “There are no more genders,” and then fell face down on the floor in front of everyone.

#he defeated them all

[starlight788]

On the main stairwell at my school there are some bench like counter tops on the transition platform where the stairs flip around. These benches have an air heating element in them so I get nice warm air when I sit here

#shitpost