#⚠️roxies rants n such⚠️

[mulletmitsuya]

so sometime last week i was gonna take a pee but when i pulled my pants down i forgot that i had my phone in my back pocket so it just fucking fell in the toilet

#my phone died #also couldn't cry either cause we were going somewhere and i had mascara on #anyway it's fixed now so yay i'm back #⚠️roxies rants n such⚠️ #noting to see here :/

[mulletmitsuya]

i've missed the last 3 episodes of tokrev and i'm probably gonna miss this one too and it makes me want to rip my skin off because i need to see the Manila timeline immediately and i'm probably gonna miss Izana and Kakucho's voice reveal it makes me sick to my fucking stomach

#i don't deserve this #yes it's for my own good so i can study better but what if this was my last straw #always coming in here to complain y'all that's my bad #anyway i hope you're all prospering and doing well because i love you fr ❤ #⚠️roxies rants n such⚠️ #nothing to see here :|

[mulletmitsuya]

got my ID done today and i hate it so bad i look like i'm taking a mugshot for serial murder that i'm being falsely accused of while simultaneously being extremely constipated.

#why do i have to prove to people that i'm alive like just look at me (i have no idea how the law works) #⚠️roxies rants n such⚠️ #nothing to see here :|

[mulletmitsuya]

living is difficult

#gonna have a sleepover at the trainstation on the traintracks #the voices are so loud😍 #i love having psychosis what is even real anymore lol😋 #i hope you're all having a wonderful day and r fighting your demons #i am taking a small break from mine so they are currently beating my ass but i'm fine #nothing to see here :| #⚠️roxies rants n such⚠️

[mulletmitsuya]

so guys it seems as if my workload is getting worse. i've been steadily doing better with my time management skills and procrastination and stuff so i'm not behind on work but like, it's hard to get used to. looks like i might only be active on the weekends :(

#and although i have high functioning depression it's getting harder to wake up in the morning #still not allowed to take meds for any of my illnesses either so i kinda have to rawdog my way through life rn #these assignement r killing me omg #but the good thing is that i'm not procrastinating as much #anyways i hope you're all doing good and taking your meds and drinking water and eating when you're hungry and just taking care of yourself #⚠️roxies rants n such⚠️ #nothing to see here :|

[mulletmitsuya]

who is saul and why must i call him

#better call saul #no fr ive heard so much about it #maybe i should just google it #important questions #roxies rants n such⚠️ #nothing to see here :|

[mulletmitsuya]

i have been so bussy, jesus christ

#when will i find rest #im too depressed for this #let me lay im bed and rot #i will be active soon i promise #*i hope #also i love you guys mwah #roxies rants n such⚠️ #nothing to see here :|

[mulletmitsuya]

once in middle school i had a crush on this dude so i wrote him a letter as his secret admirer and told him how much i loved him then put the letter on his desc. two periods later i watch him open the letter, stare DIRECTLY at me, make his way towards me and asks if i wrote the letter. i ask what he's talking about and he proceeds to take out one of my workbooks and points out that the writing is the exact same. he shows everyone the letter and they agree. then i had to lie and tell him i wrote it for a friend cause my writing was neater. no one believed me and they all gave me this face.

he then told me he didn't feel the same way. that was my villain origin story.

#everytime i think about this story i have the genuine urge to jump off my balcony #I was literally the most embarassing kid what was wrong with me #there were some racist undertones to that rejection now that I think about it🤨 #idk what i expected cause he said the n word regularly #also i was so ugly #roxies rants n such⚠️ #nothing to see here :|

[mulletmitsuya]

hello best friends

exams r coming up soon (like in a week) so i will not be as active. maybe not at all idk i'm not sure. was gonna post a groupchat today but i'm honestly too stressed to be funny rn. also severe mental health decline and all that, but i'ma keep it pushing.

stay safe, eat, sleep, take your medicine, exercise if u can, dont push yourself too hard, and just look after yourself please, i'm begging

#yeah #roxies rants n such⚠️ #ily guys

[mulletmitsuya]

i had a dream that i did a face reveal on here and lost more than half of my followers in the span of 2 hours😭

#roxies rants n such⚠️ #nothing to see here #my brain didn't need to attack me like that #wtf

[mulletmitsuya]

sometimes i think about why i didn't have that many friends in middle school and then i remember that i played badminton

#i had so much fun it was so embarassing #i wasn't even good at it #like i was in the C team #i haven't played it in years i miss it #i miss the time i could enjoy things and had interest😭 #roxies rants n such⚠️ #nothing to see here :|

[mulletmitsuya]

these exams r kicking my ass, i hope this job thing works out cause it's not looking too good rn💀

#im burnt out when it comes to school like i cant do this anymore #i have 3 left but they're really spread out so tthe constant anxiety and stress stays for another 2 weeks #this diet is not making things easier☺ #going from inhaling everything in sight to one smoothie a day is a very difficult adjustment #i constantly need to pee cause of all the water im drinking #also i now have an intense exercising regime #i hate exercising!!! i constantly feel like im gonna pass out cause im anemic #i also hate the fact that i am unable to regulate my emotions #its all a mess #bpd is shit #jesus fuck #but mitsuya❤ #sorry for being a whiny bitch ill stop now #nothing to see here :| #roxies rants n such⚠️ #also i love u guys💝 #but don't read this😐

[mulletmitsuya]

lil life update:

um so a while ago i joined a pageant. well i was forced but yk. i don't think it's good for me cause i'll be lying out of my ass most of the time, and i already have an extremely unhealthy view of myself so this will definitely make it worse! haven't been to therapy in a while, and i think it's starting to show. i'm also going on a date really soon. first one actually, kinda excited but he's more experienced than me and i can barely hold a conversation😐. i don't even wanna talk about school actually.

anyway i hope you're all doing well. i love y'all fr❤

#did u drink water #did u unclench your jaw and relax your shoulders #did u take your medicine #did you say something nice about yourself today #im very proud of you for still breathing❤ #to some people it's the bare minimum but for a lot of us its a battle everyday so just know that it's enough #hope you all have a good day/night/morning #roxies rants n such⚠️ #nothing to see here :|

[mulletmitsuya]

my eyeballs r literally killing me rn. i need to tear them out

#i have somewhere to be tmr #and i had a weeb by mkstake #weed #i'm not doing well #i thought it was a nornal gummy bear #fuckx #i hope you're all doing well and ily #nothing to see here :| #roxies rants n such⚠️

[mulletmitsuya]

went to therapy today. think i got a good score☺

#i made her laugh so many times #and she said that i don't necessarily have psychosis #maybe its stress! #i haven't checked my inbox or notifs in a while so sorry if ive missed anything ill probably get to it soon :) #hope you're all having a good day ily #roxies rants n such⚠️ #nothing to see here :|

[mulletmitsuya]

tw: mentions of death

hey guys so i'm probably not gonna be that active this week. this morning i received news that my uncle had passed away. police took like 14 hours to arrive so it actually happend last night. the guy who was with him gave some bullshit story that he had a stroke and fell in fire and set himself alight??? which is bullshit but anyway. he was drunk tho so i suppose it is a possibility. we suspect he was murderd, probably by the same person who murdered my other uncle like 6 months ago. it's kind of a scary situation but yeah. we're in a tight situation cause of the money that was spent on the previous funeral. yeah everything is shit basically. i hope you're all doing well and staying safe. love you guys, be back soon. i might not even be inactive, this was just incase.

#roxies rants n such⚠️ #nothing to see here #man #shits wack #he was really nice #this is quite devastating actually #tw: death #tw: murder