#((they mean everything to me. nothing bad should ever happen to them. i'm blocking canon out of my memory)) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

entomjinx · 1 year

Note

No worries. Tumblr has its own quirks and moods. Nothing we can do about it.

Sometimes it really is just awkward.

But yeah, we talked on/off (timezones, heh, even though you were sometimes up early/late - always hard to tell xD). And, idk, I thought I had gathered some strength after the trauma and all that crap. Fun times. So I took the gamble. In a way, why am I still messaging like this? But at the same time, idk.

One Piece is one of those mangas I will complete one day. I'm still very behind even though my ship is there since the beginning. 😂 and it's just so engaging! But at the same time I feel like I wouldn't be able to write fic for it. I guess I'm easily scared lol

Oh, I'm still stuck in gratsu. OTP and all that. I get the bunnies but writing sure has gotten super difficult. And then I catch another handful of bunnies before having finished one story and it's a lot of wips. Doesn't help that I'm feeling so bummed about my writing and that RL stuff has been bad. Gotta love a writing crisis. Which, btw, better not go your way. Just time and spoons for you.

Tumblr will always be just one step to the left of fully functioning, and that's how we like it here I suppose.

Sometimes messaging and replying though anon is easier. It a way to be slightly detached and not too invested, while still going out of your comfort zone to talk to the people you want to, especially after everything that happened in that server... At least, that's how it makes sense to me. Should you ever decide to just outright message me, I'd answer the second I saw it, but for now, if this is what you're comfy with, keep doing it!

Also sorry it keeps taking me so long to respond. College is very hectic at the moment. (also this got long oops)

One Piece is super engaging! the latest chapters are absolutely wild, especially the one this week. Holy shit. I have been more anxious writing for One Piece than I was for Fairy Tail, but the fandom is genuinly a much nicer and kinder space so far. I didn't fully realize how awful the FT fandom had treated me until I posted my first OP work... The difference is staggering. And most people I've spoken to have been much less insistant on only focusing on what's "canon." It's been wonderful so far.

That doesn't mean the FT fandom didn't leave such an impact on me that I'm not anxiously awaiting the switch up and rage to be sent my way, but I'm trying to tell myself that it's a set of irrational thoughts.

I still adore Gray/Natsu and I plan to finish some of the WIPs I have for them, as well as Phenomenon eventually, but I think most of the things I make outside of that will be kept to myself and close friends.

I have! so many plot bunnies! I finally came up with the idea to make a discord server where each channel is a plotline, and once I'd reached the limit for how many channels I could have in a category (per fandom) I have to finish something before I can make another one. It keeps me in check while also letting me keep a decently high number of ideas so that I don't get stuck with writers block.

I'm sorry stuff has been hectic in real life, and I hope things start to look up soon. Your writing has always been wonderful in my opinion, but I fully understand being bummed about it too. I can never really look at my own writing without feeling like it's missing something. Every artist is their own worst critic after all, so remember that others don't see what you think is missing, they see only the wonderful things you have created and shared.

#asks

0 notes

canimal · 5 years

Note

I wanted to write a time travel fanfic and about Evan Rosier/Hermione Granger as a main pairing but... I'm stuck. I didn't choose the most redeemable character (Rosier was killed by Moody after a magical fight) and it's complicated bc how Hermione can fall in love with someone like Evan no matter how charming and smart he is ? How did you deal with that (Hermione, Death Eater and their ideology) ? All I can see is something like Jaime/Brienne (GoT) and a very slow burn. But it still feel wrong.

(Please bear with me as this is going to be a super long response. I’ll put it underneath the cut so those who want to read it can read it and those who want to scroll past it can do so quickly.)

To be perfectly honest, if a story feels “wrong”, you shouldn’t be writing it. Trying to force something that you don’t feel comfortable writing and don't fully believe in will not only make for a story that feels forced and unnatural to the reader, but it will also become a story that you will not enjoy writing. (Never forget that this is our hobby, not our job.). Eventually, you would likely hit a wall where the story was unable to progress further and you’d be stuck. Lots of writers try to write a story with certain elements or pairings that are “trendy” and end up stuck because they forced a story. Writing should flow fairly smoothly. I’m not saying that writers should never stumble or feel blocked, but I am saying that if you’re not allowing a story to remain organic and grow naturally, you will find you quality and likely your own enthusiasm and enjoyment in writing the story suffer.

Why do you want to write a story with Evan Rosier? Is it because you find his character fascinating or you want to uncover more about him? Or is it because he’s not a character that’s written about a lot and you’re hoping to stand out in a growing sea of Death Eater stories?

I promise I’m not trying to be rude or condescending, even if it seems like it. This is an honest question. If your answer is on the first couple, awesome. Go for it.

But, if you’re hoping writing about him will get you instant recognition and a large number of followers on your story immediately, I’m sorry to tell you that that probably won’t happen. Most readers don’t want to take a chance on unknown characters. They just don’t. I’ve mentioned this many times, but when I first started writing Thorfinn Rowle as more than just a one-dimensional bad guy in the background in first, The Dark Mage’s Captive and then Parolee and His Princess, I frequently got PMs and reviews asking me who the fuck Thorfinn Rowle even was and that I might actually get more people to read my stories if I didn’t write such weird pairings. 🙄 (Let’s not forget the troll who commented “This should’ve been a Dramione” on literally every single chapter at least twice. Sigh.) So it’s both amusing and incredibly frustrating to have readers in the fandom announce that Thormione is their OTP when most of them wouldn’t have given my stories the time of day when I was writing them and they were the ONLY Thorfinn stories in existence on FFN for certain and probably everywhere else. Because so few people were interested in reading a story with Thorfinn as the main love interest when I was actually writing Parolee and His Princess, if I was only writing the story in an attempt to stand out and not because that was the story I wanted to write, then I likely would’ve gotten frustrated and quit before I ever finished.

So, if you’re serious about writing an Evan Rosier story because it’s what you want to write, I wish you the best of luck. It’s always challenging to write a character with little to no background info in canon. Challenging can also be a great deal of fun. If we never challenge ourselves as writers, we won’t ever get any better. Writers must be willing to learn and try new things if they want to get better. Practice is crucial. Too many writers (professional and otherwise) get to a place where they don’t believe they need to improve and their writing gets stagnant. It’s sad.

Now to your question about how or why Hermione might fall in love with someone with such a different and dangerous ideology... there are many different ways this can be tackled. I must stress thought that you make sure the decision you make makes sense within your story. Don’t try to force something. Let it grow naturally.

First of all, I don’t believe anyone is unredeemable. (Or irredeemable. Same meaning, right?) Perhaps it’s because of my own personal faith and religious beliefs, but I don’t believe anyone is wholly evil or wholly good. Yes, even in this hyper-partisan world we now live in, I don’t believe that anyone (even those who might disagree with me) are pure evil. This has actually gotten me a lot of grief from angry trolls and super sensitive former readers alike. I’ve been accused of being an “apologist” for all manner of depravity including, but not limited to, rape, violence, murder, racism, all the bad things ever, etc. simply because I believe that no is unredeemable... irredeemable. Ugh, whatever. You know what I mean.

Everyone has good qualities in them, even those who appear to be nothing but evil. Far fewer good qualities than most certainly, but still there. I’m also a firm believer that people, even really bad people, can have an existential change of heart and want to be a better person. Many just have to be given the opportunity to change. Of course, I don’t believe that they shouldn’t be punished for their crimes or they should be excused just because there’s something good about them. I’ll never understand why I’ve been accused of being an apologist. 🙄 Some people are truly exhausting.

For every story about a Death Eater falling for Hermione, there’s a different explanation. If you’ve ready any, you’re probably already familiar. Because I try very hard to make every story I write unique from the others I’ve already written, I’ve mixed it up. Antonin only joined for knowledge and power without realizing until too late what was really happening. Rodolphus was pressured by his wife in one and his grief and depression made him fall further in than he meant to. Sometimes the Death Eater was pressured by family to follow in their footsteps; others by their peers. There are countless reasons why people join these kinds of groups. Disillusionment, looking for a place to belong... you really could make it anything. I’ve known people who were drawn in and brainwashed by cults because they were desperate for purpose, for belonging, for a feeling like their life actually mattered. It can be super easy to get sucked into a cult and takes years to get out... if you can.

JKR wrote the Death Eaters as being simply bad for bad’s sake. They’re almost all one-dimensional. No person is actually one-dimensional. They have hopes and fears and dreams just like everyone else. Maybe they thought they believed in the sort of pro-Pureblood world that Voldemort imagined, but once they got in they were in over their head. Reality rarely meets our expectations. People grow and change. Even my own beliefs have changed as I’ve grown older. What I used to think was important no longer is and there are issues I have done a complete 180 on as I’ve grown up and begun to live in what I call “grownup reality”. (Life is much different for me than it was even when I was just in my twenties and how I see the world has changed drastically in some instances.). So if experience and time has been able to shape and change my beliefs and even my values to a minute degree, why could the same not be said for a Death Eater who discovered all was not as it seemed when they were recruited?

It’s also important to remember that no one thinks, acts, or believes like everyone in their set group one hundred percent of the time. Each individual has their own thoughts and beliefs. Maybe they joined because they hated Muggles, but then they realized they were wrong to do so. Maybe their family pressured them to join but they didn’t agree. Maybe they were afraid to die so they joined. I know a lovely man whose father died in World War II fighting for the Nazis - not because he was an admirer of Hitler and believed in everything dreadful and evil the Nazi party believed in. No, his father was conscripted into the German Army and fought because he would’ve been arrested in the best case scenario and executed in the worst. His young wife and their two small children could’ve also been in danger had he refused. It’s a terribly sad story. And hardly the only one. That’s just one example. History has countless other incidents all over the world when scared people fought and fell in line with a terrible leader because they had no other choice. Or at least it seemed like they had no other choice. Not everyone is strong and brave enough to stand up to injustice and evil when their lives are on the lines. Humans by our very nature can be quite cowardly at times.

It’s possible that a person who has done evil deeds or believed just absolutely atrocious things could want to change and be a better person. Though it wouldn’t be easy, someone like Hermione could choose to forgive them for their past. Especially if they’re truly remorseful.

Of course, it’s also unfortunately true that there are sometimes relationships that are just absolutely toxic. Love can make idiots of us all. How many women (and men to an extent though not nearly as often) see the potential in a man and want to change them into something good and perfect? It happens so often it’s a cliche. Woman falls in love with bad boy. Wants to change him. Stays with him with hopes and dreams that he’ll stop being so awful. Is disappointed over and over again. Have you ever known someone who fell in love with a truly terrible person and even though their relationship wasn’t healthy whatsoever never seemed to quit them? Kept going back for more even when everyone told them it was a terrible idea? I’m pretty sure you have. You might’ve even been in one of those relationships yourself. I know I was. No, he might not have been a murderous minion of a madman, but he certainly had his terrible qualities that I thought I could help him get past. Tale as old as time.

I could go on and on and on about reasons why Hermione might fall in love with a completely unsuitable man who might even wish her dead, but there’s no reason. It could be for a thousand reasons. And don’t forget, Hermione isn’t exactly some innocent paragon of virtue herself. She’s pretty dark even in canon. Trapping a lady in a jar? Cursing a girl’s face possibly permanently? Leading another witch into a forest knowing there are centaurs in there who are dangerous? And those are just the things that unobservant Harry noticed! Who knows what she was doing off-stage? She has her own darkness and her own demons to fight. She’s not perfect nor is she some pure angelic creature who only uses light magic for good. Nah, she’s pretty twisted at times. (On a side note - Please don’t try to write her as being all-powerful, perfect, and never do anything the least bit bad. That’s not her character at all. It bothers me to see her written as some sort of pearl-clutching virgin who has never done anything bad in her entire life. That’s NOT the Hermione I read in the books.)

You just have to find the right motivation in your own story. If you’re not forcing the story and allowing it to develop naturally, you’ll figure it out. If you’re forcing it, I’m afraid you’re going to stay stuck.

I hope this can be so some help! Sorry I’m rambled on and on and on.

10 notes · View notes

worldsentwined · 7 years

Note

Okay, so, I still haven't read the new book, but since it's an AU anyway I figure spoilers aren't so much an issue as long as I'm familiar with the characters and thus: for Kamet/Costis, either "our friends that we came here with went off together and now we’re making awkward small talk" or "my date just made a scene in public and got arrested and now i’m stranded in a city without a ride home" (that second one could be a canon-divergent AU from QoA frankly)

(So I’ve been sitting on this one for a while because I couldn’t decide which one to do - I liked the idea of “my date just made a scene in public” but couldn’t decide whose date would do that. Then I realized: Why not both?)

Kamet/Costis - my date just made a scene in public and got arrested and now I’m stranded in a city without a ride home

“Are you all right?”

The words startled Kamet out of the loop his thoughts had been in ever since they dragged Nahuseresh from the bar in handcuffs. He’d been staring at his own hands, taking note of the ink staining the callus on his his right middle finger. If he’d been left to his own devices, he would be at home right now, safely ensconced in his bedroom (the smaller of the two - he’d let Nahuseresh have the big one) with a pen in his hand and his notebook open on the desk. For all that late nights got lonely in an empty apartment, there was a certain peace to it, too.

But Nahuseresh had insisted on dragging him out drinking (”You’ll never meet someone if you stay holed up in here all the time!”) and as with all things involving Nahuseresh, Kamet hadn’t resisted very hard. There was no point in telling his roommate the truth: that he didn’t want to “meet someone” because the guy who slept in the room next to his was everything he wanted. And he’d thought, foolishly, that one night out wouldn’t kill him.

That was before “that little shit Eugenides” (Nahuseresh’s words, spit out like a mouthful of vinegar) waltzed in with his hulking boyfriend/bodyguard and stirred everything up. Kamet had seen it coming: his roommate’s increased agitation, his muttering, the way he couldn’t stop scowling at the table where the other two were sitting. But nothing he did could calm Nahuseresh down. Then the bodyguard had gone off to the bathroom, and Eugenides strolled over “to say hello”. Ten minutes, three broken chairs, and one shattered window later, Eugenides and Nahuseresh were being ushered into separate police cars. And now Eugenides’ boyfriend was inquiring after Kamet’s health.

“I…what?” Kamet hadn’t really gotten a good look at the guy before, but now he found himself staring into a pair of concerned eyes that didn’t match the persona he’d conjured up. Any friend/boyfriend/lackey of Eugenides should have been no friend to Kamet. He was pretty sure that was how it worked, anyway.

But the other guy didn’t seem to know that. “You look pretty out of it. Did you get in the way of the fight? Gen flails all over the place when he gets riled up.” He searched Kamet’s face for injury, and finding nothing, picked up one of his hands. Kamet flinched, and the other man quickly released him. “Sorry. I thought you might be hurt.”

“I’m fine,” Kamet said automatically. It usually worked when he said it to Nahuseresh, but it didn’t satisfy this guy.

“Are you sure? How much did you have to drink? Can you tell me your name?”

Kamet shook his head. “I only had half a beer, it’s fine.” And then, because the other guy was still waiting, he said, “I’m Kamet.”

“Costis,” the man said, extending his hand. As Kamet shook it, he added, “And sorry for all the questions. You looked like you were in shock.”

Shock would certainly explain the numbness, but that wasn’t why Kamet felt like he’d been kicked in the chest. It wasn’t even seeing Nahuseresh arrested. It was what his roommate had said right before they took him away.

Get the hell out of here, Kamet. I don’t want your help anyway, you’re useless. It wasn’t the first time he’d something like that, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

“Kamet. Hey, earth to Kamet.” Eugenides’ boyfriend - Costis, his name was Costis - was still talking to him. “Look, do you want to get out of here? Maybe some fresh air would help.”

There was plenty of fresh air coming through the broken window, but Kamet followed him anyway. It was better outside. He could stop trying to keep an eye on everyone around him - the bartender scowling as he swept up glass shards, the whispering girls at the end of the bar, the policemen hanging out as though waiting for something else to start - and focus on Costis. For all that he was a potential enemy, his solid presence was a comfort. He led the way down the street like someone who knew where he was going, so they’d walked two blocks before Kamet dared to question him.

“Umm. Where are you taking me?”

Costis stopped so fast that Kamet nearly ran into him. “Oh. Oh, I’m sorry! I was in such a rush to get you out of there and somewhere quiet, I didn’t even think to ask where you live. Do you know which bus you need? Or a cab might be better, at this time of night.”

“A cab?” Kamet shook his head. It was a kind thought, but impractical. “I live all the way out in Mede. If we go back to the bar, I can find where we parked and - oh.” Nahuseresh had the car keys. And the key to the apartment, because Kamet had left his behind, thinking he wouldn’t need it. “Shit.”

“What is it?” It was weird, how concerned Costis looked. They were strangers to each other. If it had been the other way around, Kamet would probably have left Costis and hoped he figured things out. At least, he thought that’s what he would do. It was what Nahuseresh would do, probably.

But since Costis had offered to help, Kamet wasn’t about to turn him down. The situation was pretty desperate. Kamet sighed. “I think I’d better go to the police station, actually. Nahuseresh has the keys. And I should wait for him, anyway.” There probably wasn’t anything he could do, but maybe his presence would be a comfort. Gods, I’m pathetic.

Costis didn’t seem too happy about that idea. “The police station? They’ll be stuck there for hours, and it’s late already. Even if you want to pay your friend’s bail, it’ll take forever. It’s probably best to catch some sleep, let them cool off, and go deal with it in the morning.”

“But I can’t just leave him!” Why didn’t Costis understand? Nahuseresh might be a little thoughtless and quick to anger, but he didn’t deserve to spend the night in jail without even a friend to support him. Even if he didn’t share Kamet’s feelings, that didn’t change how Kamet felt. “And are you really going to leave your - Gen there? I thought you’d want to help him.”

Costis waved that away. “Nah, I’ve already told him I’m not bailing him out anymore. I called his wife, she’s going to deal with it.”

Kamet’s thoughts ground to a halt. “His wife?”

“Yeah, Irene. I almost feel a little bad for the police officers, having to deal with her,” Costis said. He grimaced. “And I’m sure she’s pissed at me. I was supposed to keep Gen out of trouble, and look what happened. She won’t let me forget this anytime soon.”

The universe was still rearranging itself in Kamet’s head, so his next words weren’t well thought-out. “He really has a wife. I thought you were his—”

“You thought - Gen? And me?” Amazingly, Costis didn’t seem at all offended, he just laughed. “No, no. There was a time when I might have, but - no.” Then, as though it had just occurred to him, “Are you and Nahuseresh…?”

“What? No! No no no.” Was he that obvious? He probably was. “We’re roommates. That’s all.” Unfortunately.

“Ah. Good.”

Good?!

“I mean - sorry! I didn’t get a very good impression of him, that’s all. That stuff he said to you was pretty nasty.” Costis gave him a searching look. “Is he always like that when he drinks?”

Nahuseresh was always like himself, whether he was sober or shit-faced. But it felt disloyal to say that out loud. “He doesn’t mean it when he talks like that. He regrets it later.” Not that he ever said so.

Rather than looking reassured, Costis frowned harder. “And he was your ride home.” They’d walked back to the corner where they’d started; any minute, Costis would probably call a cab and be on his way. Kamet found himself regretting that. It was kind of nice, having someone to talk to who actually seemed interested in what he had to say. Maybe they could exchange phone numbers and meet up some time - but no, not if Costis was friends with Eugenides. Nahuseresh wouldn’t like that.

“So if you’re stuck in the city until he gets out of jail,” Costis said, “Do you have a place to stay? Because if you don’t…well…you could stay at my place. It’s not very big, but it’s close, and my roommate moved out last month so I have an extra bed…but only if you want to! I know we just met, it’s a little weird…” He trailed off, looking everywhere but at Kamet.

On the other hand, maybe it didn’t matter so much what Nahuseresh liked. Especially since he was in jail, and it was his fault, really, that Kamet was in this situation.

“That…would be great, actually,” Kamet said. “If you’re sure it’s not too much trouble.”

Costis raised his eyes to meet Kamet’s, and he smiled. “Okay. Come on, it’s this way.” He slung an arm around Kamet’s shoulder to get him out of the way as a drunk staggered past, and even when they got past the crowd in front of the bar, he didn’t let go. After a moment, Kamet put his own arm around Costis.

Maybe this night wouldn’t be the death of him after all.

#queen's thief #prompt meme #costis #kamet #do they have a ship name I don't even know #this is my first time writing for this fandom and somehow it's a modern AU #Sorry (not sorry)#minutia-r

25 notes · View notes