#...should i try to explain the joke even though its major spoilers and guaranteed to make it less funny | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

singingcookie · 4 years

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HELLO YES CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT ADORABLE CARRY AND HOW THEY DIDNT REALIZE HE WAS STILL HOLDING HER AT FIRST PLS AND THANMK

Ah yes. So like, fun fact: this chapter also turned out really different from its outline. Well. Everything but the last scene turned out really different. But I have fun stuff about that and pretty much everything else so...another outline comparison?

Obviously spoilers for chapter 21 of DoJ under the cut

Back to Ochako’s pov

This should start up incredibly chaotic. The sound of screams, being bumped into from people scurrying either to or from the where the flames are congregated. Ochako’s nose is burning from the smoke, and she has to cough to even take a deeper breath in.

Details are hard lol! I tried writing down notable sensory details to get me going but it still took ages to write the first page or so. Finding ways to word the images in my head and have them come across so hectic was really hard for me 😩

There’s a question of what they should do when Deku’s phone rings. It’s Todoroki. Ochako stands close to Deku’s side to try and listen but she can barely make anything out with all the commotion going on. She almost contemplates asking for speaker but, all things considered, that obviously wouldn’t fare any better. Deku mostly just seems to be agreeing and listening until he finally says that they’ll do their best and hangs up. Todoroki said that Iida had called Aizawa immediately. They were closer to the havoc and they’re helping lead the effort to get civilians to safety and any possible need for triage. Luckily a decent number of the class was already nearby so some are fending them off and other are helping with the effort to grab civilians.

So as you can see here things............deviated. A lot. I had a really hard time actually planning out how this chapter was gonna go and I pretty much wrote up this part of the outline going “okay this is probably gonna change but these are the basics. The basics I have to get across.

So as you can see, originally I thought of having izuocha like....idk too far away? Too in shock? To jump to action. Which was, honestly, very dumb on past me’s part but they were quick to say “fuck you we’re helping” like of course.

They wanted to rush over to deal with the trees and help but I was standing there like these guys are so far away how tf is this gonna work. And that’s when it was like “omg, bridal carry.”

I think I had to break from writing after deciding that though. And I was telling my little sister about it while we were in the car. And we kind of mutually came up with the scene. We played around with the scenario a little bit, and it was originally a jokey thing. But after we talked about it, and she agreed (as a Tododeku shipper) that she thought it flowed well and made sense, I decided to include it. It was so vivid though we could both imagine as a scene in the manga so a day or two later I decided I had to commission it.

I’ll be forever grateful that @jellojolteon was up for the task and did it so so wonderfully. 💖💖💖

We also were joking around about the Momo thing and after telling @savetheirhearts-midoriya about it but saying I thought it was too goofy to include, she told me I had to include it. And who was I to refuse? Lmao

Looking back on this though idk how I thought that that it was gonna be chaos but still chill enough to be able to have a phone call smh. Luckily I’m not super strict on my outline being the end all be all lmao

I definitely like the way it turned out a lot better though. Did a good job with showing the class’s self reliance. Especially considering they’re in third year now. It shows off that they have this kind of thing down pat now. Kinda like how the Big Three came off in canon.

They decide they should try to tell other civilians where to go (maybe check how long the street usually is in Kanagawa for the festival) in the midst of that, they see Toogata and Amajiki with Eri. They explain they were with Aizawa but he felt it might be best if they go to safety with the others. They didn’t want to leave Toogata and Eri alone but Amajiki will go back into the fray once he’s guaranteed they’ve made it safely. They explain where to find Aizawa and they take off.

Maybe include a conversation with Ochako saying that, all things considered, at least this attack is happening where a handful of pros and a majority of the 3rd year hero course were out tonight. Deku wonders if that’s really much of a relief. “Was it just a coincidence or…?”

Ochako blinks in surprise, about to stew on that thought a little more when there’s a scream just up ahead. A little further ahead, there’s two girls, twins from the look of it. One is on the ground, unconscious and disheveled as well as a bloodied arm.

ooooooh right, again, more differences here. I never altered the fact that I changed the setting in my outline LOL. Mostly because I knew and it seemed pointless to change something so small when I already know lol. I wanted to include Eri a little here but when I thought about it it just felt like it would slow down the pace of the scene. And it just felt too....pushy? Idk something about it just felt off. So I decided to cut it. I also changed where Aizawa came into play but I’ll get to that in a few lol.

Second and third paragraphs though are the same. I knew I wanted to highlight the fact that is was very likely targeted.

Aizawa arrives right as they do and they ask what happened. The sister explains that they were wandering around the festival looking for her boyfriend who was further down. She started to go off ahead, but some crazy girl popped out of the alley and attacked her sister. She ran off before the twin could come back over. She tried to stem the bleeding but--

Ochako says they’ll take it from here as she goes to join the girl on the side with the bleeding arm. She says that she feels bad doing this since Inko worked so hard but she tears off some of the bottom of her yukata, to wrap the wound.

Alright so, I changed where Aizawa came in mostly because I felt like, upon, writing it, he would be coming from further into the festival than they were. And they’re up toward to front, so it only made sense to have him show up late....not to mention that he might notice that the girl (Toga) was acting a little off. So I had to limit his exposure LOL

The story was pretty much the same and, real talk, I wanted an excuse to free up Ochako’s movement since a yukata is a little limiting. But I definitely wanted to feel the ache that came with messing up something that we spent so much time waiting for. I went ahead and added some details about Toga looking a little too long before this next part just to drive home that something really doesn’t feel right about this girl...

The twin watches her, seemingly entranced, an unblinking expression on her face. “You really know what you’re doing, don’t you?”

“Oh well, I’m a hero in training!” Ochako’s a little embarrassed. “It’s all in the job.”

“We should get both of you over to triage,” Deku notes, looking toward Aizawa. This seems to snatch the other girl’s attention from Ochako’s deftly moving hands. “They can help check on her properly there.” The sister suddenly jumps to her feet, suddenly remembering her boyfriend’s further ahead and alone. She has to go find him and takes off

“Ah wait!! Eraserhead, Uraraka-san, I’ll go make sure she’ll make it okay, be right back!” He takes off too.

Pretty much the same, as far as what’s conveyed, I think. Especially highlighting that something’s wrong with this twin and that Ochako’s uncomfortable. Though, here I didn’t spell out the latter as clearly as I felt it during outlining.

Main difference is who’s saying what and--again, tbh I like how the final result came out better. Toga pretty much dips as soon as Aizawa shows up. Because 1) Aizawa’s caught her in the act before (during Overhaul arc with Rock Lock) and 2) his quirk immediately takes off hers. So she knew she had to get out ASAP once she saw who it was. I also changed Deku’s “be right back” because what the point of coming back if they’re taking the passed out one to where triage is? Dumb lol

Ochako wonders if she should maybe use her Quirk on the woman to help make it quicker for them to transport her. Aizawa says he’s not sure that’s necessary. He doesn’t want to send her or Midoriya off alone because it sounds like a lot more of the League than what they’ve actually seen. And...yeah, it’s awfully weird that they haven’t really seen a lot of them. Did they really concentrate their attack closer to the entrance? But then there’s the person who attacked this woman--

Her thought is cut off when Aizawa continues, “And if I go to take her, you won’t know when to release your Quirk. It’s probably better not to”

The first part of this is confusing--likely because originally I planned on Deku coming back but once I realized that was a little futile I had to rephrase how this was worded lol. But no matter what I didn’t want anyone to think too hard about who was doing the attacking yet (I figured people would get it by then but I still wanted to keep it low profile).

The girl between them suddenly wakes up, startled, and they assure her that they’re heroes on the scene. “It seems you were attacked and passed out from the fall or possibly received a blow to the head.”

“And you guys got rid of her?”

“No, the villain seemed to take off when your sister came over to help.”

“What? But--”

“Oh, don’t worry, she’s okay! She went to go find her boyfriend but she and our friend’ll be--”

“No, that’s.” She looks between them seemingly more dazed and confused. “I don’t have a sister.”

Aizawa says that she received a blow to the head. It’s possible that she has a concussion and she’s a little confused. “No, I’m telling you I don’t have a sister!”

“I’m an only child, and I came here alone!”

This whole exchange was more or less the same. To be honest, most of this last scene is lmao. This scene (unlike the rest of the chapter outline) was super vivid when I planned it out and whenever scenes are vivid, they almost always play out exactly the same as my outline lol

That said, chapter 22 is incredibly vivid so. Prepare yourself 👀👀👀👀👀

“But she looked just like you…” Twins. A crazy girl. She happened to be unconscious and...had a blood wound. Just like her.

She pales. No way. She doesn’t want to believe it. Not even a little. But her body moves before she can think, taking off with no heed to Aizawa calling after her.

Deku-kun!!

This was, again, near exactly the same because it was such a vivid image in the planning stage that it carried over well into actual writing. For a little bit I debated whether I should actually name drop Toga but ultimately I was like “the readers are smart, I don’t have to hold their hand about it!” So I trusted yall to put two and two together lol

But yeah, that about sums it up!! The notorious scene actually only happened because of Izuocha wanting to help and me and my Tododeku shipper sister sitting in the car in the BK drive thru if I’m not mistaken lmfao

#ask #Kat #adventures in writing #Drops of Jupiter #Kelly replies #thank you for sending something and sorry for going overboard again #ily Kat!!!#vixensheart

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