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formulinos · 2 years

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Hyperfixation Corner | On the Grid: 2022 French Grand Prix

Yes, the rumours are true. I went to a Formula 1 race for the first time and nothing like the (possibly) last French Grand Prix, at Circuit Paul Ricard, to pop my cherry. Naturally, I had to write a whole ass essay for this Experiénce™ to give you guys a bit of insight about my first time, so if you want to partake in my three day vacation at the south of France, featuring a bit of sightseeing and a lot of car-watching, join me after the cut!

prologue: how did i land at paul ricard

friday: free practicing my tourist skills

saturday: fan forum of hell

sunday: scenes at the race

epilogue: a few final thots

prologue: how did i land at paul ricard

First of all, to put things into context, I wanted to tell you a bit about the chain of events that led me to the GP. I left my home country (BRASIL PENTACAMPEÃO 🇧🇷 🇧🇷 🇧🇷 🇧🇷 🇧🇷) last year to study in Paris, where I will be until 2023. It's been definitely one of the times of my life and I try to stay positive and look at the opportunities I get to have here. In all these years I have been a F1 fan, I have never been able to afford tickets to Interlagos, and I'm not kidding. It's not that my family is broke, but we're also completely unable to afford three tickets, accomodation, plane tickets and other expenses in a way that will see us last the weekend alive. And if I look at it from a solo perspective, I never had the company to go with me besides my family and, to be fair, I'd love to go with them since they never went either, they taught me everything I know about the sport and they dream of attending one day.

note: luckily I have two homegirls now who would love to go to a GP with me, so maybe in 2023 I'll tag along with them! still hope to drag mom and aunt with me tho :)

Anyway, the point is that being in Europe, I have the money to spare from the savings we had for me to come here + the internship I've been doing for the past months. Plus, I'm alone here and will be for a good while, so I only account for myself and I'm not sucking money out of my family's finances. Another advantage is that travelling between countries here manages to be easier than travelling inside Brazil, so it doesn't really matter what was the destination as long as I could manage to land some tickets.... so of course I bought tickets for Monza in the first available opportunity.

I had looked up tickets for both France and Monaco before, but both of those started selling before I got the internship and were in theory sold out, while Monza started selling after I had the internship. Actually, scratch that, France had an offer going on for a one-day ticket + train from Paris to the circuit combo that sounded absurd from the point of view of someone who suffers from fibromyalgia and expensive from the point of view of a foreign student, so I tapped out of that one. However, imagine my surprise when I received an email from the organisers, offering me a lifeline in the form of a lanky french driver that looks like that one character from that one cartoon movie I forgot. The one where they go down the drain. You know the one.

Esteban Ocon, I wish I could kiss you. In fact, I probably could have if I had stayed later on Saturday, but more on that later. Point is I never pulled my wallet so fast and typed the wacky numbers in my card online since that one time I really wanted to get the Rose Gold Princess Peach skin on Mario Kart Online - and I didn't get it. But I did get the tickets, paid in 3x because no way I could do it all in one go. It was the end of the month after all.

Anyway, from that point onwards, I started planning the logistics. I had gotten tickets for Saturday and Sunday only, since I can't get full vacations at the moment as an intern, I would only be allowed 2 days off for each month I work. I booked those so that I could arrive on Friday at wherever I would stay, get my stuff ready for the GP, and go back home on Monday without much of a hurry to work.

Once that was established, I needed to know where I would stay, and there were a few options of cities to stay with buses/trains to the circuit, like Marseille, Toulon and La Ciotat, but I landed in Aix-En-Provence. Lovely place, I chose it there because I had been there before last November and so I already knew how the town worked and how to get there. Therefore, I booked myself both train tickets to Aix and the Express GP bus tickets that took me from the bus station to the circuit and vice-versa. From this, I booked myself an AirBnb just 5 minutes away from the station so that I didn't have to walk much longer after getting back late at night if it was the case and voilà! All good to go, it was time to race.

friday: free practicing my tourist skills

There is something I didn't tell you about the Provence, but that you might have heard about. They have big fuckoff lavender fields you have only dreamt of. It's some White Girl Pinterest Aesthetic Moodboard shit. Since I discovered the benefits of essential oil aromatherapy in 2020, I became a certified lavender lover, and even got a few friends hooked on it as well, so visiting the fields became something to check off my list in France.

As the slogan for the Grand Prix said, it was Le Summer Race after all, specifically at the time where the lavenders bloom - they usually are the pretty lilac flowers we know between June and August, when they get harvested. After that the fields get all cut up and the process of growth starts again. While Aix-En-Provence isn't the hot spot for them, since the big fields are in like, Luberon and Valensole Plateau, they have a lot of lavender products available in their shops and, as I discovered online, a small field in a Maison de Lavande called Terre Ugo. Since I couldn't possibly take a day tour to Luberon as I had to get ready for the GP, I decided to reschedule my tickets for 6 am (ha) so that I could visit the Maison in the morning before shopping for groceries and checking in the Airbeebee. Great plan.

I took my ass to the Gare de Lyon, a railway station in Paris where I'd take a 3-hour high speed train to Aix-En-Provence. Left the house in black pitch darkness at 5:00 am after zero sleep (I had a rough week) but I enjoyed the way. I really think Paris is at it's best when there are no Parisians out. We're safe <3

A bit of Gare de Lyon and the time I left. So extra lmao.

The trip went super well, I managed to get an hour of sleep without getting my contact lenses stuck in my eyes, so I call it a W. The way was super pretty as well as I got to see the morning rise and some cute sunflower fields.

The Aix-En-Provence train station is actually roughly 13 km away from downtown, so I took a bus to get to Aix properly. By that point it was already over 28 ºC, but I'm from Rio so of course I spent 30 minutes waiting for another bus, this time the one that would take me to the lavenders and boy..... was I satisfied.

The place smelled SO FUCKING GOOD. Aromatherapists were right, I just took some breath in and I felt the anxiety coming out. The place was pretty nicely set up, as you took a stroll there were plaques explaining the importance of the bugs that you would see around and a bit of the history of lavender, and they kept some chairs and pillows around in case you want to sit down and maybe even have a picnic! Since I had a bit of time to spare, I got myself under a tent and just took the beauty in. A friend of mine said that they weren't in full bloom and it was probably because of the extra heat in summer this year that didn't allow them to grow properly, so I think Seb is right in being annoying about climate change.

Right after that, I got back downtown to eat literally any-fucking-where that had an AC on (something rare here in France). Ate a salad because it was too hot to even consider something else, had a very nice, very cold Coca-Cola and then forced myself to have milkshake for dessert just so I could kill another half hour. Once that was done, I went to a supermarket to buy myself some water and food for the GP the next days since I wasn't feeling like spending my time in long queues for those items. Also took a chance and bought a sharpie just in case I managed to get some autographs. More on that later, also.

Cool. Checked in the Airbnb and I'm still not sure whether it was a good place or not. It was super well located and the sofa-bed was comfy, the kitchen was brand new, but the bathroom smelled of mold, the elevator wasn't working and there was no wi-fi, which would have been acceptable if the 4G worked there. But a highlight goes to the nearly broken toilet with THIS lid:

Of course, my first visit to the supermarket was a flop because I actually bought surprisingly little food, and it was only after a nice conversation with @baku2017 that I realised I had to get myself some proper sandwiches, so I bolted to the closest supermarket before it closed to get that and some more water. In my defence, I was completely full after eating and it was super hot, so I couldn't even consider what would hungry me be like. Food obtained, it was time to sleep and get ready for an early rise.

saturday: fan forum of hell

Not sleeping the day before ended up being great for me because I slept like a lamb drunk on beer from Friday to Saturday and I legit felt like an anime princess when I woke up. My process for both Saturday and Sunday were the same: I had the bags practically setup (only missing the water that was on the refrigerator and the fruits and sandwiches I got wrapped in the morning) and my clothes for the day were also set aside, so I'd literally just wake up, get the food done, have breakfast, shower, put clothes on, put the packages inside the bag and head to the bus station that was just 5 min away from my place. Well, I did wake up an extra half an hour early on Saturday to get my makeup ready 🤡 🤡 🤡

i really thought Mick would sweep me away from my feet right then and there smh

Now, I have to be honest with you: I don't do traffic. I just can't, not ever since I peed my pants on the way to the beach because we were 4 hours completely stopped. It's not like there were bushes anywhere close, if I went out to pee everyone would have seen, so it got to a point where it hurt so bad my body overwrote my power of will and I pissed myself inside my godfather's car. I am firmly determined to never go through that again so I had to make sure I would get on the first bus available of the day to go to the circuit, which meant being at the station 6:30am to leave 7am.

French organisation said there would be one depart every 5 minutes from 7 to 10. In reality, what they meant was one every half an hour from 7 to 9:30 am, except on Sunday, which is when you really need the buses. In this case, it would be one every half an hour from 7:30 to 9 am. Didn't matter much to me since I was there from the get go for the first bus, but I imagine how pissed some people must have been. Bus tickets were 25 euros per day (round trip), which is cheaper than a taxi or uber there and much more guaranteed not to be in traffic, so I felt confident in my bladder to make it dry to the GP. Besides that, the seats were super comfy and there were plug outlets for phone charging and AC, which in Saturday's weather (hottest day of the weekend) was very appreciated.

bus stop, bus and the view to the gp. not a bad way to spend early morning!

After a little over an hour and no peeing, I got to the Circuit! The gate where the bus stopped at was at the same side of both my tribune and the Fan Zone, which made my walking much better. Here's a very blurry picture of the path I drew to my friends from the shitty map that was in the ticket pdf (red zone behind the main straight was the fan zone and the grey area is the bus stop). Overall, I think it took me like 15 minutes to go from one point to the other. Oh, and my tribune was in the orange zone (Virage du Pont ftw!)

As I walked to the Fan Zone, I saw a lot of stands selling team merch and food/beverages. Some of the food choices were very bold, like a whole stand of fried stuff is really for those who trust their digestive system and that don't suffer from reflux. I shuddered. But the real interesting stuff, I thought, was Village Sud, that tried to emulate the charm of the cute streets of the Provence. Tried.

clown of the year award goes to the guy who came up with the idea to add an army enlistment booth to the village.

these were some papier maché heads that are a tradition in the carnivals of the south of france. they did some of the drivers which were creepy but the intention was nice. i still don't know if the first head is supposed to be charles or lando.

My goal for the day was to try and get a few autographs for both me and my friends in the Fan Forum. I personally wanted Seb, Fernando, Mick, Charles and Carlos, while the laid ease wanted Zhou, Yuki, Lance and Daniel. So, I knew it was key to get there as early as possible so I could stay the closest to the rail and hope for the best. Of course it wasn't enough as some lunatics were there since 7 am, but I was still close enough to try. At the very least, close enough to look at them.

The original schedule had two Fan Forums, one in the morning (9h30 to 10h30) and one after quali (19h to 20h). So, naturally, they did two in the morning (10h10 and 11h40) and another after quali (19h to 19h30). This probably had to do with the fact that Haas and Ferrari, which were slotted for post-quali appearances ended up actually being the first teams to show up. So, our lineup for the morning was: Haas, Ferrari, Mercedes, Red Bull, W*lliams, McLaren and Alpine. A girl grabbed my hat to try to get some autographs, but it was practically impossible with all the front row competition, so I honestly just considered it fun to be there, listen to the drivers and feel the ambiance (great mood all around in spite of the heat!). Here are some screenshots of the videos I made:

sir lewis (george came right after, they did their interviews separated somehow), mick (kmag was there, just a bad angle), SCUDERIA FERRARI, red bull, alpine and mclaren

My personal highlights are:

- Haas: Mick hearing the french crowd scream "PARLEZ FRANÇAIS" and then doing a good chunk of his interview in french just for us. Crowd went wild, panties went wet - Ferrari: EVERYTHING. Crowd went crazy everytime Charles talked and cheered him like insane, people started cheering Carlos up when he said he felt Saturday wouldn't be as nice for him because of the penalty and that he'd have to try a bit more on Sunday - Lewis: I honestly fell in love with the guy. I don't know what he has but it's something. Super fit and the way he talks is just like, I know he says that to everyone but he makes you believe you are indeed the best crowd he has ever seen. Lovely smile and he always makes a point of talking not just about himself but to include either the team or the fans. Guy trains his ego in the gym every morning to keep it in check probably. Still haven't forgiven him for 2008 but I'm glad I called the truce in 2020. - Red Bull: THE MESS HAHAHAH. Checo looked out of it IMO, like he waved and thanked the guys who were there for him but a bit dismissively. I can say many things about Super Max and I will if you ask me, but he looked more engaged in the conversation and tried to give nice answers, so he gets a few points for that. Funniest thing was that after they were over, they didn't come down the center to do autographs for people, which was such a dick move because the Team Checo guys were RIGHT THERE and from my side there were three guys waving Max's helmet replica and merch for him to sign. Crowd began booing (which wasn't hard because actually apparently people really don't like Max there? I thought people would love him more considering he is the reining champion) so Ariana Bravo had to say "hey we don't do this here!" which led to more booing because how dare you tell the French what to do. I didn't get too mad because I think if I was Max and I knew only three people liked me I would leave too. - Alpine: Felt really, really good to see Ocon being so well received. Gasly is still the apple of the French's eyes but Ocon was cheered as a hero, which makes sense when you consider he is now a Grand Prix winner with THE French team, but when you see the media's portrayal of him as a bit of a black sheep in contrast with Gasly being the ignored Crown Prince, it just felt great to see him being hit with the love. Alonso was in a great mood too and did his whole interview in French, which drove people wild. If Ocon is a hero there, then Alonso is the greatest of them all, as 2-times champion with Renault. People will never forget that and I'm sure Fernando just LOVES it, as he should and he deserves! Also I confess that it was here the only time I was like "wow, he really is short" because even when you consider that anyone looks short close to Ocon, Fernando seems smaller than in his pics. - McLaren: Lando has a weird sense of humour that led him to say he hoped to specifically beat Alpine in this race and people *almost* booed before they started laughing and everyone realised it was a joke hahaha. Daniel honestly has some sort of attention span issue because he tried to answer his questions but he would just go like "hey I can say anything in French and make the crowd go wild watch this". At some point he just Pierre......... GASLY! two times in a row. I just wanted to hear him say some actual words lmao - W*lliams: when they left.

Fan Forum I done, I headed back to the Tribune Esteban Ocon, located at the Virage du Pont, aka turn 15, last of the circuit. It's there where cars enter the pit lane and speed down before starting a fast lap in quali, amongst others. While it's not usual to see overtakes there, you can see them get ready to attack and activate DRS. Overall, while you can't see the entire circuit, you can see the cars, which is not bad at all for the first time. You can also see a bit of the pit lane and the motorhomes!

some of the pictures might have chromatic aberration because of the zoom lenses I was using attached to my phone. don't mind me! not in the motorhome picture, but I could also see Mercedes' motorhome to the right of Red Bull's

Important to note: If you ask me anything about what the racing was like, objectively, I have no clue. FP3 came and went and it was just a vibe seeing the cars go in and out and do their cheeky laps. Honestly couldn't tell if Red Bull had good pace or if Aston Martin were going to flop again, I was just like. "Car go Brr"

see what I told you about the pit lane? so cool! (FP3)

I think FP3 might have been my favourite session out of the three. While I usually just vibe with it when I'm at home, in there it felt like qualifying but without the stakes, which was much more enjoyable. People were cheering whenever their favourite driver passed in front of them and even more when they improved their lap times. It was completely insane to cheer for the fastest lap in a practice section yet that was exactly what was happening. It was like the driving equivalent of the guy skating while drinking juice and singing along to Dreams tiktok

W Series.... I don't want to talk about it much, but well. The cars are really freaking slow, to the point where they really stand out from the F1 and F2 races that are held on the same weekend. Fair, I suppose, as they are supposedly F3 cars, but I also don't watch F3 for the same reason. I feel that since most of the W Series drivers have a lot of experience they could do with better cars, which sucks because they end up looking amateur, even more when they have race incidents (in fact, there were two safety cars in a 30 min race). There is still a lot to be made to properly encourage race growth, and a few suggestion I have are: age limit to maximise chances of the girls going ahead to F3/F2 posts and the champion prize should be enough to fund them into an F3 team as well; they should also consider having the same champion rule as F2 that the winner doesn't get to remain in it for the next season - kinda sucks for Chadwick since she didn't manage to get a seat in another Formula series but it's probably the third championship for her in a road, so it's time to go, really; Maybe an investment that could be made is a team with woman drivers in both F3 and F2. Might never win it but it could be nice to showcase young talents. That being said I don't grieve any of the W Series drivers or organisers and if anything they are all doing what people kept them from doing for years. Good for them!!!

Quali came and it was ELECTRIFYING. I usually dread qualis because I just don't have it in me not to be anxious ever and the time constraint and high stakes just get me, but I was in the mood! I was sincerely happy! Again, don't ask me what actually happened during it, I had no clue Carlos had given Charles a tow because I was just like "GO CHAAAAAARLEEEEES GOOOOOOOOO" screaming like a mad woman. I was just thankful we got the pole and it was so, so FUCKING COOL how you could feel the whole place shaking because France is rooting for le Monegasque.

sorry for the shaky gifs but here is Charles on a mega fast run in Q3!

Overall, it was a trip. Gasly's shit quali was def a mood killer and the whole crowd was super sad, but they kept sending good vibes to make sure Pierre knew he was supported! Same thing for Ocon in Q2. People were also in suspense when Mick was fighting Race Control over the track limits, fair imo as Race Control this year has been even worse than last year and that's saying something. Crowd also went wild for Alonso in Q3 as he was Renault's rep. Lots of love for Sir Lulu as well! I, personally, made sure I was as annoying as possible whenever Seb was out hahahahaha. Once quali was done, I quickly hurried back to the Fan Zone in an attempt to get #RailedForSeb. And man... I'll need to talk about the following events in therapy.

When I left there hadn't even been the post-quali interviews yet, Charles had barely re-entered the pit lane. And while in the morning I didn't exactly bolt to the Fan Zone, this time I really almost ran. AND YET THERE WERE ALREADY TWO LINES OF PEOPLE THERE AGAIN. I sincerely think that some of them didn't even watch FP3 or quali so that they could stay in the rail and maximise their chances. I suppose (and hope) that it wasn't their first Grand Prix so they wouldn't miss it too much.

Team Vettel stayed strong!

I decided to stay in their entrance to the stage since there was a bigger chance of him autographing stuff there than in the center, where he would only be once. Quali ended around 17h30 if i'm not mistaken, so it would be roughly an hour and a half that I would have to stand up with a heavy backpack on my shoulders in the scorching heat. Easy. Feasible. I didn't know, however, that in less than 10 minutes a little kid would show up and be an Omen of how much of a mess the rest of the day would be. In fact, I'll call the kid Damien just to make it easier to illustrate.

accurate photo of Little Damien

Damien was right at my side with his folks a little behind him, and he only had a notebook and a dream: to get all of the drivers' autographs. He hadn't been there in the morning so he hoped the evening would be a hit. There was only an issue: he wasn't right behind the rail and the spot he had chosen was occupied by a couple of older fans.

Now, Damien had a few possibilities to choose from: he could have moved somewhere else he could sneak in better. In fact, his mom said that his greatest advantage was that he was a tiny little kid, so he could easily slowly make his way to the rail without taking a lot of space from people. But he didn't want that. He could have also asked nicely to the people in front of him if they could hold his notebook and get autographs for him, but he wanted full control as well. So, instead of being ok with the place he was at and trying to position himself as well as possible, Damien decided to bitch and moan as audibly as everyone in a 10 m radius could hear for a WHOLE HOUR AND A HALF.

First, he spend half an hour just screaming "THERE IS NO SPACE!!! THERE IS NO SPACE!!!!". Then, he turned to his mom a few couple of times and said, I swear to God, "there are these two old people in front of me and they are there just to watch! I want my autographs!". I was GOOPED at the audacity of this three year old to be that bitchy when the guys were right behind him and could perfectly understand French, what the fuck! Like, what makes you so entitled to think you are more worthy of an experience than all the other fans that are there for the same reason as you are? Is there an hierarchy of fans I haven't heard of?

the couple pretending they weren't understanding what the kid was saying

At that point, it was only getting hotter and hotter. And as people were coming in, they started to push each other closer and closer to the rail, which meant that I was now just one row behind it instead of the original two. Space was getting smaller and smaller, there wasn't much room to drink water and people were starting to be in a bit of a mood with anticipation and such. I started feeling bad because I looked back and I realised I couldn't actually leave anymore, there was no way to get out without being stepped over by people. So I started feeling nervous. Luckily, some staff came with bottles of water to people, which calmed a bit the nerves, but available space kept getting smaller and smaller.

It was during the water moment that Damien managed to get a bit closer as well, but still behind the aged couple. A guy who was there to take some pictures for his daughter had no choice but to let Damien in, and said so himself. Damien kept being foolish and running his mouth, so we all kind of decided, collectively, not to let him pass any further and block him hahahahaha. Maybe if his parents did a good job of keeping him quiet we would have been nicer but kid was a dick and suffered, so far, no consequence of it.

The hosts came in and announced that the first team would be Alpha Tauri, which led everyone to bolt forwards to get to Gasly when he would come in. I was being crushed from all sides and hanging on to my sticker album for my dear life, so I genuinely considered crying out for help. However, I look around and security is placed obviously for the drivers, not for the fans, and there are no firemen/paramedics in sight. That means that not only I had truly no way out, but also if I fainted or anything happened, no one would know until the whole thing was over and I dropped dead after people loosened up. I went survival mode and focused all my strengths in just making it to the end of the interviews, I was legit close to tears.

Now, remember the couple in front of Damien? I had asked them earlier before Damien came in if they would mind handing my album for Seb to sign or if I put my arm between them, literally anything. The lady told me they had stuff for him to sign too (so they weren't there just for the banter as Damien thought), so I thanked them and said "no worries"). As people started pushing, I also apologised to the people around me and said it was out of my control. BECAUSE I WAS POLITE, the lady actually changed her mind and offered to take my sticker album while her husband would hold the book they had - it was a compilation of Paul-Henri and Bernard Cahier photos of champions, and there was one with Seb in it. Lovely book btw. Too bad what happened next changed the course of humanity and trauma bonded all of us there.

Gasly came in and all hell broke loose. I got pushed forwards to the point my feet didn't touch the ground anymore, while tons of arms showed up over me holding caps, posters and French flags. My hat was about to fall off, but someone decided to use my head as a support point to lean forwards, so I didn't lose it. I just sort of looked at the little of sky I could see on top of me and raised my hands up in the hopes someone would rescue me - which didn't happen.

exclusive image of me hanging on to my dear life

Pierre signs tons of autographs for the French who are, at this point, equally shouting "GASLY" with whatever lungs they have available after their years of chain smoking and fighting each other over the lack of space. Yuki shows up too and more screaming is had until they get to the stage. A little bit of schadenfreude powers me as little Damien starts crying and somehow escapes because he failed to get autographs and it was clear this wasn't gonna happen to him in this GP. Served him right.

Yuki shows up too and I manage to get a little bit of air while they do their interviews. I actually saw that people shared the "only thing that Yuki hasn't tried yet is a French girl" anedocte that Gasly said, but they missed out on the most important part that was the entire audience just being like "CHILL PIERRE, CHILL" and laughing out of nervousness. I could feel Tsunoda getting red and I was only able to see his back!

Alpha Tauri come out and the moment of truth arrives as Aston Martin joins us. AGAIN, everyone lunges because of Seb and this time, so do I, fuck it. I had saved my last 1% of strength for this moment and started yelling for him to look over. Britta and Lance's PR person walk in the front handing signed photocards, so I start yelling for her instead while Seb's further back. I swear to God, she actually came in my direction, looked at me in the eye, I said "hi Britta!" and she smiled back..... and she handed the photocards to people right beside me. I yelled for her to come back but it was too late. My jaw dropped for like... a whole minute. What was the reason, Britta?????? I do recognise it was hilarious and a great story to tell though.

Seb told people in front of him to calm down as he would try to sign as many autographs as possible, and he did. In fact, besides Red Bull's ordeal, all of them spent quite a good time making an effort at reaching out to as many fans as they could get, and they were genuinely nice while at it. I mean, Alpha Tauri, Aston Martin and Alfa Romeo all had lowkey disastrous qualifying sessions, Gasly the worst I think, and they still smiled and tried to engage as much as they could. While they're all more or less PR trained, they're not actors and you can feel who is more or less distant, which makes the whole thing even more astonishing because practically none of them really were, even the more reserved ones. You could feel the effort.

But unfortunately, it doesn't matter exactly where you're placed as it is a bit of a Russian Roulette and Seb never managed to sign my sticker album. He stayed before and after. Again, to be fair, he spent a lot of time there and there were tons of Seb fans around with helmet replicas and AM merch and even Ferrari/Red Bull fans that were there for The Legacy, but he genuinely had to go. He even kind of shrugged in an apologetic way before leaving. A guy that was in front of me handed me a photocard and said "hey, you couldn't do better than this!" all happy because he thought he had snagged me a Seb card, but when I told him it was Lance's, he said "oh, merde!". For me it was great though, as my Lance stan friend was super happy when I sent her the pic.

I stuck around until the end of the Alfa Romeo interviews as I had no choice and I also managed to see Zhou Guanyu sign the Seb page of my sticker album HAHAHA. He actually looked super pleased as well, it was so endearing. Also managed to see Bottas and yeah.... I would. I totally would, why lie for the tl. Overall, I managed to get two signatures in my Seb page, which I think are Yuki and Zhou's. The whole concept of Oppa Seb is so funny and the guys were so nice I can't even be mad!

I could have stayed a little longer to watch the after concert (that apparently was on the track and super cool!) and also see Esteban pass in front of our tribune, but I chose to go home instead because I legit needed a breather. Took a shower, some Tylenol and went to sleep.

sunday: scenes at the race

Rinse and repeat, woke up early, showered, got dressed, food, go. I had to snuck in the bus because people decided to queue while I was sat and there were people at the queue who were there for way less longer than I was. Didn't give a single shit, I am used to it in Brazil anyway.

Got there around 8h50, decided I actually wanted to eat a bit more of substantial food when I saw there was little queue on the pasta stand and that they were actually wrapping the food to go, so I bought myself a pseudo carbonara for lunch. I was super excited as I would actually have the opportunity to watch Formula 2 for the day and I knew Drugo had snagged a podium after Pourchaire's penalty the day before. I didn't know, however, that French support truly extended to the junior drivers and Pourchaire was received as a fucking hero (Novalak received a lot of love too).

While everyone cheered for Pourchaire, I took the role of being Drugo's sole cheerleader on the tribune, literally shouting VAI DRUGO every single lap. My throat is suffering from it to this day. Again, you couldn't tell me whether the race was good or bad, but I was THRILLED. I think Drugo had a bad race start and then picked up at the end? P4 seemed fair considering it all. Plus, Logan Sargeant's DNF made me happy, ngl. But overall, the star truly was Pourchaire, who landed a podium and was received as a champion. Iwasa, having led French-based DAMS to victory, was also given a standing ovation.

French flags for Theo!

After the F2 race, I ate my fauxbonara while Porsche Supercup was on and drank lots and lots of water. There were still animations with some random cheerleaders on the stands and some flag waving, but the real stars were the track marshals that hyped the crowd before the drivers' parade. They made us clap, they sang and danced like a bunch of fools, they made some waves, anything to keep us hyped before the drivers got to our turn, and it did work! Here are a few gifs from the video I took (I actually shot all the drivers but footage is shaky so I'll only share the ones that you could see a bit better).

I was surprised to see the Paddock Club ticket holders on a few trucks after the drivers btw. I kind of understand the glamour of taking part in the Parade, but it feels like it would be much more interesting to watch the Parade than to be in it. But then again, they probably saw the drivers way more close than I did the entire weekend, so yeah, it is what it is.

I set my phone aside during the race so there are no pictures of it, sorry :/ I had made an effort to register as much as I could during the entire weekend and I really wanted to be able to take in everything of the main event itself. I have to say, it was one of the most unforgettable moments of my life to experience the thrill of the formation lap and race start. The anticipation, the fear, the hope, it's like, everything all at once because the cars are so... concrete, you know? Maybe the best part about attending a race is truly the breaking of the fourth wall that allows you to realise these guys are actually there and it's not just an abstract creation of your imagination. There is a completely rupture of the distancing you have when you watch it from home which is a complete mindfuck and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Unfortunately, the race graphics just don't work live and are completely unreadable unless you have binoculars, so I didn't know what was the exact time interval between the cars, which is a shame because you can clearly see the gap getting smaller or bigger, so I would have loved to be able to correlate distance and timing. However, it was fucking lunatic to see the first few laps with Charles holding on Max from the perspective of the last turn. Sometimes, it looked like Max could legit lung while turning, sometimes it looked like Charles was under control, and once the gap looked big enough and they said Max was out of DRS range the whole crowd came down cheering. Everyone wanted Charles to win...

Which made the more heartbreaking when he crashed. We just saw the yellow flag signs getting lit up and then the safety car sign coming out before we knew it was Charles. I nearly cried but my tears dried out because of the shock of his radio message that was broadcast for all of us to hear. When his heavy, quick breathing played, everyone was quiet because we were all scared he was hurt. I even thought he had broken something. Instead, his scream echoed through the entire circuit and everyone just sighed with a mix of relief for his physical integrity and sadness for his own heartbreak. It was truly awful and personally, I didn't even have the time to recover from it before the shitty Carlos pit release.

To make matters worse, since Charles crashed close to my tribune, both him and his car passed right in front of us. You know what truly fucking sucked? You could tell he was devastated, his shoulders were completely down and he still made sure to wave us all, in something I feel was a mix of appreciation for the support as everyone was cheering anyway (I personally made sure to scream "thank you for everything" and "I love you") and apologies for having made a mistake. I did whip my phone out of the bag to take a picture of La Rossonera, and the saddest part is that it looked not that bad at all.

Now, I had to move on and focus on the rest of the race, since there were still a Ferrari on track and tons of other drivers I had always dreamt of seeing. Carlos' track progression was my focus, and I repeat myself but I had the time of my life seeing him catch up to the cars in front of him race lap after lap until he showed up ahead. His overtake of Checo was right in front of me since I could see that part of the main straight, so I jumped and screamed like a maniac, only stopping when Checo tried to strike back and failed. Imagine my fucking surprise when he goes in the pit. The amount of cursing I did while the guys in front of me were like "typical Ferrari".... this is so HUMILIATIIIING.

I was also rooting for something that didn't happen (Max DNF) but overall, even with the results I was more than satisfied with the race weekend I had. If we had a better ending, I might have considered rewatching it on F1TV, but honestly I don't care enough to put myself through that ordeal again hahah, I'll take the L and keep the good memories. Since I had a crippling headache from the heat - Sunday was less warm but worse because the air was more dense - I left the track early and got home with time to spare, enough to get my things packed, call my folks and tell them about my weekend and to have some celebratory Mickey Ds.

epilogue: a few final thots

While on the bus heading back home, I had a bit of time to think about what the weekend represented to me. The first major point is that it completely changed my outlook on the drivers themselves. I have never like, dehumanised them and I try to keep my idolatry in check so that I'm able to call them out if necessary, but I did idolise my faves and loathed the ones I dislike. Seeing them interact with the fan base live was a 180º flip because like... they're just people. Some of them are smaller than you would think, some of them are taller than you think, but they truly just want to drive the cars, you know? But then you're standing there besides a random person who literally just went there to see them, literally just one of them, you hear the cries and it's scary, it truly is, to consider the psychological weight of the burden that they carry.

Because it's like, on one side they have to be concerned with living up to the expectations of the sport, the team, the championship and of their own talent, which is already the standard agony that every athlete goes through in their entire career and that feeds their fears and regrets after retirement. But on the other side, they need to go out and be paraded like shiny objects to a bunch of people who are shouting their names and staring at them almost like Cujo, drooling and wide eyed, but it's out of love. How do you even manage to be normal after going through all of this at least once, let alone repeated times during the years? You have to change, but at the same time you can't change who you really are, which is just a person. You are elevated to the status quo, the highest of pedestals, but you are still just a random person. You're not a hack per se, you deserve to be there as a fruit of your path and your life's work, but fundamentally the pedestal shouldn't exist. It's so much to consider and yet they all go out there, perform at the highest level they can psychologically and still find the time to try to please their worshippers. Unhinged.

The other point I'd make is that it was truly a blessing to be able to go to the race. I know I was probably there at Charles' 2018 Germany moment but still my heart grew from Saturday to Sunday because it was just a lifelong dream becoming reality. Once you go there, you need to face with maturity the fact you can't control the sport and that's the fun of it. Whatever you spent, whatever you did, it doesn't matter because it's all in control of the people on the track and the pit lane. If it's not the championship decision, you can be frustrated but ultimately you don't get to be upset over something you knew was a possibility. And the fact is, if you do, you have to consider to distance yourself from the sport a bit.

I'm saying this because from first hand, Ferrari is frustrating year in year out. It has always been like this and not even the Golden Michael Years were peaceful. I have already spoken here my thoughts on the supreme bottling that has been made and in theory, as a fan, I had every right to curse Charles and Ferrari for the disasterclass of Sunday. But you know what, Ferrari doesn't have the right to ruin my love of them and of Formula 1, not even in the most important moment of my life as a fan so far. The team can grieve the result as they should, because we're further and further away from the lead and the strategy errors have led us to rely too much on driver performance which makes individual mistakes even more serious. Charles can grieve the result because he truly screwed up an easy win and he can even resent the team for not backing him up when he needed to. But these are burdens that it's their job to carry, I'm a fan pro bono and I can't let a result that is always a possibility put a damp in a big, happy moment for me, the same way I can't let it get through my head and ruin my entire week from home. And that's equally valid for any driver and any team, we all have to know our places, rights and duties in our parasocial relationships. I have been keeping up with my part of the deal, which is to slag them off when necessary but still offer support no matter what. I'll never stop being a Ferrari fan even when everything disappoints me because my love for them is larger than life, so why will I let current Ferrari ruin everything that me and the red car have had together over the years and will have in the future? Nah hah, fuck off, I will remain steady and look at the glass half full. This weekend was bitching and I wouldn't change a thing.

Well, I would. But I accept that I can't change it and I'm happy with what I had.

If you managed to read this all the way, I hope you enjoyed reliving with me the French Grand Prix. Next time we see each other, hopefully it's for the proper HC I've been writing. Slow and steady wins the race! As always, thank you for reading and screw you guys, I'm going home.

PS: Seriously, F1 administration, I know you guys are reading this. Find a way of keeping the Fan Forums because the interviews are nice, but bring back the autograph sessions. Someone is going to be trampled over one day. Cheers!

#hyperfixation corner #2022 french gp

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