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rosesisupposes · 5 years

Note

If you're craving prompts, might I humbly request DLAMP, "we keep doing everything out of order."

…this took much longer than I planned, and is far longer than I planned. Also, much fluffier. But I hope you like it, dearest @potestessemagishomosexualitatis 💗💗

Last To Know

Pairing: (hurtling towards) DLAMP

Warnings: immigration, marriage of convenience, mild swearing? I think that’s it

Word count: 3,135

Tag list: @residentanchor @royally-anxious @bewarethegrammarpolice @jemthebookworm @arandompasserby @sparkly-rainbow-salt @astral-eclipse @thelowlysatsuma @adorably-angsty @max-is-tired @almostoveranalyzed @hawthornshadow @mariniacipher

read on ao3

There was a very reasonable explanation for all of this. It had been purely a logistical decision. Four acquaintances of Logan’s needed a place to live in his city; Logan had four vacancies in the house he owned and rented. He always kept the top floor for himself, making new tenants a risk, but he at least knew of the others through a combination of mutual friends, shared classes back in undergrad, and generally living in the same area.

They’d settled in fairly easily, right up until Roman confessed his visa was running out and he would likely have to leave the country. Patton had immediately started crying and hugging Roman and insisting they’d find a way to keep him there. Logan was unaware of when Patton had started caring so much. But even Virgil looked distressed, and Damien started wondering aloud how well they could hide him in the house so that he didn’t have to leave.

“Why can’t you apply for a new visa?” Logan asked.

“I’m no longer a student, and I’d need a more regular job for them to sponsor me for a full green card…” Roman said, facing Logan with some difficult thanks to Patton still being twined around him.

Dee’s dark eyes alit. “I know! You should marry one of us! Spouse visa! And then you can work on citizenship!”

“Isn’t that a bit extreme-” Logan started, but he was interrupted by Patton and Virgil both raising their hands as volunteers and Dee cackling in delight.

“But how to choose,” Roman said mournfully. “All my best friends in the world, how could I possibly marry only one of you!”

Virgil suddenly smirked, and Logan looked over curiously. “You know…” the dark-clad man said thoughtfully. “If you’re marrying someone for a visa, it really should be someone responsible and trustworthy. Someone who could believably support you.”

Logan had no idea what he was talking about, but suddenly all heads were turned towards him, and there was a more-than-a-little disturbing resemblance in the mischievous grins on each of his housemates’ faces.

Roman gently dropped Patton back onto the couch, and strode over to Logan wearing his “pompous prince” face (as coined by Virgil, of course). Stopping a foot away, he bowed elegantly.

“Dearest Logan, generous landlord, resident nerd, first stop for endearing space trivia and Sherlock obsessions, would you do me the great honor of giving me your hand in transactional matrimony?”

Logan blinked once. Then twice. Then attempted to speak but only achieved opening his mouth like a particularly stunned fish.

“Is that a yes?” Patton whispered to Dee in the background.

“I think it’s just gay panic,” Dee whispered back, looping an arm around the smaller man’s waist.

“…me?” Logan finally got out.

“Yes, my textually-charged academic,” Roman purred, taking Logan’s hand in his. “I need a man to support me in this foreign land of haw-yees and rednecks, you are the only one I trust to protect me.”

“Hey, we’d protect you too!” Virgil objected, sitting down on top of the couch. “But if you were in trouble, Patton would cry, I’d probably end up punching someone by accident, and Dee’s plan would either end in flames or crimes or both.”

“…isn’t this proposal also Dee’s plan?” Logan asked weakly.

“Yes, but this one is wonderful,” Roman said, kissing Logan’s hand in a way that was not distracting at all, thank you. “Plus, this way you don’t need to find a new lodger midway through the year!”

“I suppose that is a perk,” Logan admitted. “And the immigration process is so convoluted, this would likely be easier…”

“That’s the spirit! Almost!” Patton cheered. “Logan, you own a tux, right?!”

“Yes, why?”

“For the wedding, silly!”

~~~~

Logan really should have thought this through more. But the house had dived into preparations before he could properly object. Dee had made a Pinterest board and “ironically” sent Logan post after post of nerdy wedding aesthetics. Patton kept sneaking up on Logan and Roman with cake samples to try. Virgil popped his head into Logan’s room on a regular basis with out of the blue questions like “Black Parade could be a reception song, right?” and “How many volts of fairy lights could we run without fucking over the electric bill?”

And Roman just kept… being Roman. Flirting outrageously in that way that clearly meant so little to him but was starting to mean something to Logan himself. He’d taken to kissing his hand a lot and greeting him as “my darling fiancé,” and sitting next to or practically on top of him whenever the group was in the same room. Logan found himself agitated by how easily he was blushing now, all the time.

Roman had apparently opened the floodgates, because everyone was being far too affectionate now. Yes, Patton had always been a hugger, but now he kept planting kisses on Logan’s cheek, and holding hands with Dee, and sitting on Virgil or Roman’s lap and sometimes both at once. Dee flirted with, Logan was quite sure, every single person he laid his eyes on ever. But now he kept upping the ante and using fantastical phrases and wordplay tailored to the object of his attention. Logan had had no idea that being called ‘starlight’ would be quite so jarring and endearing and infuriating all in a moment. And Virgil had entirely betrayed him. They used to be the two reasonable ones, or so he thought. But no, Virgil was willingly participating with all of this madness, and had an amazing irritating habit of rubbing the nape of his neck when he was stressed so that all his muscles went involuntarily fluid and relaxed.

Logan arrived home one day to see their small backyard decked in lights, all the lawn furniture moved to the side so that the patio was clear. Patton greeted him at the gate with a hug and yet another cheek kiss as he said, “Lolo! Thank goodness you’re home, you need to get changed!”

“Whatever for?”

“Silly, it’s the 15th! The wedding!”

Logan stopped in his tracks. “I thought we weren’t going to the courthouse until next week?”

“Yes, but the semester will be over and all our friends still in undergrad won’t be able to make it. So we’re having the reception part tonight. We had this whole conversation after the movie last week, don’t you remember?”

But Logan did not. He didn’t even remember which movie it had been. Because Virgil had been slowly stroking his hairline, right at the back of his neck, and Patton had been lying across his lap so that he was across all three of Roman, Logan, and Virgil, and Roman had been giggling and leaning into his side in a way that it only made sense for him to lift his arm and drape it around him, and Dee had been telling Virgil how lovely his eyes were and… Logan had absolutely no memory of any other conversation that may or may not have happened.

But apparently that meant they had a party tonight.

Virgil convinced him to wear the tux still, and Patton blocked off the kitchen to finish the cake in secret. Dee kept making cracks about helping him change, but Roman was mysteriously absent all afternoon. Logan definitely didn’t miss him. It had only been a couple of hours! That would be silly and ridiculous and not what a highly logical person would do.

As 5pm arrived, Logan was in his well-tailored midnight-blue tuxedo. Dee, grinning in a tux with a bright yellow tie and matching gloves, arrived at his bedroom door to ‘escort the groom to the festivities.’ Somewhere on the walk down the stairs, Virgil joined them in a plain but nice-looking suit in black with a purple vest.

They walked out into the yard, filled with friends from the city and university they’d all attended. Everyone was in various forms of ‘their best’ from sundresses to cocktail dresses to gowns, from suspenders to jackets to tuxes, and some wonderful mixes of the two. Patton, glorious in a blue dress, had a microphone (where had they found a mic?) and greeted all his housemates happily and loudly.

“And now that the whole gang’s here, we can welcome the star of our hearts and the show! Roman, come on out for your first dance!”

Logan was pushed into the middle of the patio and Virgil held his shoulders facing away from the house. He could hear the door opening behind him and some “awws” and gasps from the crowd. Logan turned to look but Virgil held him, grinning. “Patience,” Virgil said teasingly.

Finally, the arms released him and Logan turned. Roman was only a couple of feet away, and he looked… stunning. He was wearing a gorgeous fluffy gown of red and gold and sequins, and matching makeup. Logan reached out a hand without thinking, and Roman took it with a smile. Music began to pour out of the speakers.

“It’s a beautiful night/We’re looking for something dumb to do/Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you”

Logan snorted. “A little on the nose, perhaps?” he murmured.

“I wanted to be precise,” Roman said back, lacing their fingers together and placing his free hand on Logan’s waist. With Roman taking the lead, they started to dance around the small dance floor of the patio. Virgil had done an amazing job with the fairy lights, rigging them to create a ceiling of sparkles that cast them all into a warm golden glow.

Roman suddenly smiled wide, and spun Logan around, letting his hand go free. Before Logan could catch himself, Dee caught his hands instead. Now Logan and Dee were waltzing around the floor in parallel to Roman, who was now dancing with Virgil. Their height difference made it a little awkward for Virgil to reach Roman’s shoulders, but then he lifted Roman by the waist to spin him through the air. The watching crowd whooped, and Roman laughed out loud, and Logan accidentally stepped on Dee’s foot because he forgot to watch where he was going. He stumbled, but was caught by something soft and blue. He looked down into huge blue eyes and a freckle-dappled smile.

“Thank you, Patton,” he said. “I’ve not quite got the hang of this dancing thing.”

“Maybe I can help!” Patton replied, pulling Logan close and guiding them into a simple waltz. “One-two-three, one-two-three,” he counted softly, and Logan followed the count, watching his feet.

He kept looking up slightly and then down again. Something about how bright Patton’s smile was, and how the lights reflected in his glasses and eyes, he just couldn’t look too long. But he did note that Dee and Roman were dancing now, some complicated dance that Logan felt himself mentally tripping just watching. But the two biggest drama queens of their house were in perfect sync, moving with fluid precision and both grinning hugely.

A tap on his shoulder pulled Logan’s attention to his side. Virgil smiled comfortingly. “Can I cut in, Lo?”

“Of course, Virge!” Pat said, stepping back. Logan was going to object to yet more dancing, he was, but Virgil had dressed up for this, and he was just self-conscious in front of crowds, so it would just be more polite to not turn him down. Virgil guided Logan’s hand to his hip, and Logan most definitely did not blush to be able to feel the shorter man’s muscles even through his formal outfit. And Patton had swirled off to dance with Ro, something much less regimented but with plenty of twirls and giggles. Dee kept the music going with “Can’t Keep My Eyes Off Of You,” and Logan and Virgil danced sedately, just swaying and turning.

“Virgil, why isn’t anyone else dancing?” Logan asked. “I thought after the first dance, the guests joined in?”

“Well, that is how it works for traditional weddings, yeah,” Virgil said in his familiar rumble. “But what about this is traditional?”

Logan chuckled at that, and let himself relax into the dance. Roman parted from Patton to change the music as Dee and Patton started to swing dance. Virgil and Logan both grinned watching them. Clearly all those old movie marathons had paid off.

Finally, Patton broke off and grabbed Virgil away from Logan. As the shortest members of the household, they were matched perfectly, and Virgil was willing to twirl and lift Patton to make the other man wriggle and laugh. Roman took the opportunity to pull Logan into his arms once more, and the crowd finally started to fill out the dance floor.

“Have I told you how good you look tonight, Logan?”

Blushing would absolutely be his cause of death. He hoped there wasn’t an afterlife, otherwise he would never live it down.

“I… thank you. Your dress is very dramatic and a little ridiculous but it’s so you.”

“They told me I couldn’t have a quinceñara,” he replied with a sniff. “So what better way to celebrate now?” They spun in relative quiet for a moment, when Roman smiled softly. “So, are you enjoying our wedding so far, Lolo?”

“You know, I rather am,” Logan admitted. “My feet are starting to get a bit tired, though.”

Roman swept Logan up off his feet and into his arms. “Is that better?”

Logan blushed hotly, muttering, “I meant I needed to sit down.”

“But is it better?” Roman wheedled. “No lying to your almost-husband, dear nerd.”

“…yes,” Logan admitted, and Roman laughed. The world was fairy-lights and glittering gowns, Logan was surrounded by his favorite people in the world, and later there would be five-tier cake and Crofter’s. It wasn’t something he’d ever expected, but he wasn’t such a stick-in-the-mud that he wouldn’t admit that it was magical.

~~~~

The flourescent lights of the courthouse were a far cry from the dreamlike lights of their reception, but today was the day and they were getting legally married. Logan was still a bit unsure about how they had reached this point, but found he cared less and less.

The whole house had come, of course, Patton linking Virgil’s and Dee’s arms around his own as he bounced in excitement. They waited through the decently-sized line until they finally reached the desk.

“Good morning, we would like a marriage license, please,” Logan said.

The clerk grinned just a bit bigger. “Congratulations! And what date would you like it made out for?”

“Today, please,” Roman said happily, linking his arm with Logan’s and squeezing. Patton make a sound of delight behind them.

The clerk nodded, and typed on the computer until they were interrupted by a question. “Do you know if it’s possible to enter a legal partnership with more than one person in this municipality?” The seemingly-idle question was in Dee’s unmistakeable drawl.

“Oh, yes, certainly! Marriage, domestic partnerships, and adoption can all be amended to have any number of partners. I think we need special permission at ten or more, but even that is still possible, just a longer process.”

Roman squeezed Logan’s arm tighter. “Lo? Is that okay?”

Logan looked back in confusion. “This is for you, Roman. Whatever you’re most comfortable with.”

Patton squealed again, and hugged them both from behind. “Form for five, please!”

Logan supposed that was all right. That would make it more believable, right? If Roman was equally committed to all his housemates, that would be more reason to let him stay in the country. And it made Patton so happy.

He felt slightly divorced from his body as he went through the motions of showing his ID, and signing the forms, but suddenly they were finished, and Roman had his arm looped around him on one side and Dee was on the other. Pat and Virge were on the outside, both snickering as the group tried to walk down the hallway without detaching with varying levels of success.

They were married. All five of them. And Roman would get to stay.

As they got home again, they all ended up sprawling across the couches. They fell into their most comfortable configuration, with Logan the only one sitting normally. Patton was taking full advantage of being the small one to sit across their laps. Dee was lying on the back of the couch up against the wall, fingers intertwined with Roman’s where he lounged diagonally with Pat’s head in his lap. Virgil was upside-down from the back of the couch, curled oddly so his head was on Logan’s thigh but Pat could still hold his hand.

Logan sighed contentedly.

“Whatcha thinkin’, Lolo?” Dee asked, a little sleepily.

“I was just reflecting on how comfortable I feel with you all. Even though we started as mere acquaintances, I do think of you all as very much like my family, now. And it’s rather nice that we’re legally a family now, for however long.”

Logan didn’t see the glances exchanged around and over him, but did hear Roman’s question. “How long would you like us to be, Logan?”

“Well, as long as it takes for your citizenship, of course.”

“What about after that, L?” Virgil asked.

“I… I don’t know. Divorce is rather a process, I suppose we could stay in this arrangement until a large enough inconvenience comes along to justify it.”

“So… you would like to stay married to us all?” Patton asked. Logan couldn’t tell what his tone meant, but there were hints of… curiosity.

Logan answered slowly. “I believe… yes. I would. I am… rather fond of you all, and always appreciate the time we spend together, for whatever reason.”

Roman smiled softly, and reached out to pat his face. “We love you too, Logan.”

Logan blinked. “Love? In which sense of the word?”

“Romantic, you dummy,” Dee muttered, practically falling asleep on the back of the couch.

“…wait, you… all? Romantic? Love?” Logan stuttered.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Yeah, man. Normally that’s what marriage means. Plus our first dances? Of the people in love?”

“Hey, don’t make fun of Lolo, he’s not that good at his own feelings,” Patton chided. “Yes, cupcake, we all love you. We thought you knew.”

“Oh,” Logan said, blushing. “I… apologize for being the last to know. I suppose it’s a good thing that I’ve fallen in love with you all, too. We keep doing everything out of order, don’t we?”

“Nah, ‘s just you,” Dee said, snuggling into the blanket Roman had just passed him, seconds from sleep.

“But we all got here in the end,” Virgil said, a comfortable rumble on Logan’s left.

Logan ran a hand through Patton’s soft hair, and smiled at Roman, who’d started it all. “Here’s to arriving, then. I look forward to being your collective husband.”

“We love you too, Lolo.”

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