#Being disabled doesn’t mean you automatically need all the disabled recourses | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

k-frances · 6 years

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Ironic, right? A tumblr post about not listening to tumblr posts. What I’m going to talk about might get a little touchy, but I feel like it’s my job on this blog to go where other people don’t because they’re overly worried they might offend someone. So disclaimer, if this offends you, I don’t care. That sounds harsh, but let me explain. I’m going to do everything in my power to express my views in a way that is non-offensive. If my views still offend someone, I did everything I could to not offend them and I can do no more, so for that reason I won’t feel guilty or bad because someone else doesn't like something.

That’s lesson one. Tumblr has created a real environment of fear around offending people. Yes, it’s good to try your damnedest not to offend people, but guess what. It’s still going to happen.

Advice on Writing Method

There are hundreds of posts talking about how the ‘rules of writing’ are not so much rules but guidelines, so I won’t go into incredible detail with it. I’ll simply leave it at; if someone’s writing method doesn't work for you, don’t do it.

On the flip side, if someone says that, in their opinion, certain writing methods don’t work well for x,y,z reasons, don’t get offended. Just don’t. Don’t waist your energy on it. Either read what they have to say and consider, or don’t! If you know what you’re doing is working for you, then why would you need advice about it in the first place?

Advice on Things Not to Write About (because it will offend someone)

Hi. I’m a doctoral student in a clinical psychology program. So as far as sensitivity training goes, I have more than you (almost definitely). I probably have more than 90% (made up statistic lol) of this website. Here is what is important to consider:

As a writer, we will always be touching on experiences that aren’t identically our own, because otherwise we would be writing biography. Sometimes we might go so far as to write about different races, religions, or traumatic experiences that we have never experienced. It’s important that we are very careful when writing about these topics. Remember, we are doing our best not to offend someone. That means doing the research, asking (politely) if you have a recourse to ask, and reading about what that minority group has said about representation. We should try our absolute best to include those voices in our consideration of the topics we’re covering. Not only will it make minority people feel better, it will also make your writing more authentic and palatable for everyone.

However, you are likely to still offend someone. That’s right. You can do it all, and some people will be upset simply at the idea you, a Non-whatevergroup, is writing about them, and your writing doesn’t match up with ThEiR ExPeRiEnCe™. You could ask 100 people of a minority group, and 99 would love what you did and not find offence at all, and one of them would skin you alive with their words of pure outrage. And that one person would for sure have a tumblr account.

[A small lesson about sample sizes. For the most accurate information about a demographic, you need a random sample. Tumblr is not a random sample. It houses the most offendable people on the planet, and you will likely find that people in your real life of the same exact demographics are somehow not nearly so.]

So if your main source of advice is from tumblr, let me give you a few guidelines for what advice not to take:

-advice which tells you to ‘never’ touch a topic at all, and gives absolutely no reason, caveats, or clarification. If someone isn’t willing to express their opinion beyond saying (my favorite) “If you’re going to write about X, just don’t.” (when X is a broad topic or theme, not a specific trope) then their opinion is either poorly formulated in their own head and based on automatic, emotional responses, or at the very least poorly expressed to a point where it isn’t helpful critique to use.

-Their reasoning is nothing beyond ‘I don’t like it’. Even if they use fancy language, just not liking something is not reason enough to ban it from all literature. If something is truly problematic, there’s going to be a clear and easy to convey reason.

-If the person is an ass hole about it. That’s it. Simple. If someone is expecting you to listen to them and they’re spouting, you don’t have to listen to that. They’re expecting you to tread carefully around them while screaming at you.

And lastly, in the hopes of creating a better environment, here’s some advice when wanting to approach the type of ‘please don’t write about this’ post that will actually get people to take you seriously and listen:

-realize that you don’t know other peoples’ ‘groups’ on face value. Almost everyone is in a minority group. (Whaaaaa?!) Yes, its true. Even CIS White Men™ may have a learning disability or past trauma. The fact is, you don’t know. Don’t imply that no one knows what it’s like to be the sad man, when what you really mean is ‘my experience differs from yours because I am X, and here’s how’. (No I’m not saying having trauma is the same as being Black or gay. I’m saying they’re different, but not better or worse, it’s not a competition and there’s no assigned value of struggle. They’re just complexly different.)

Aside: I am so sick of struggle dick measuring contests on this site!

-Avoid ‘never’ statements unless it’s something very specific (ex: never refer to a Black character using term X). What I’m saying not to do is ‘never write about the struggles of a Jewish person if you’re not Jewish’.

-Give your reasoning! No, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you feel, but you are expecting people to listen to you and do as you say. They don’t even know you, so if you want to be taken seriously, just explain yourself a little. It will also help to clarify, stop unneeded arguments due to miscommunication, and help writers actually discern what it is that is offensive so they can apply that understanding to other scenarios that might also be offensive for the same reason.

-Realize that people are going to make mistakes and don’t skin them alive for it.

-Also, please stop saying things like ‘if you can’t see why this is offensive then I can’t help you’. First of all, that’s inflammatory. No one needs your help. You’re trying to impart your opinions on someone else, it’s much easier for them to just ignore you, so stop acting like you get the final stamp of approval on their work and they need you.

They don’t need you. We need each other. We need to communicate positively with each other if we’re going to make this medium a better, more inclusive environment. Lastly, you’re whole argument is that other people can’t understand minority experiences they’ve never lived, so why would you turn around in the second breath of your point and say ‘if you can’t understand, there’s no help for you’? That creates an environment that clearly says; if you aren't X, you don’t understand, if you don’t understand you are garbage.

That is some fucked ups cyclical shit right there.

#writing advice #gatekeeping #author #writer #we need diverse books #diversity #sensitivity

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