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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 2 years

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EPILOGUE SEVEN

roxy tiznugs at a P-to-tha-izziece of hair behizzle baller ear wiznith one hand as shizne chizzle tha time on ha phizzay wit tha brotha.

Jizzohn’s not liznate, but Rizzy rizzun out of th'n ta do except W-to-tha-izzait for him, which be bizzle cosmically appropriate n a-lackin`. It’s not like she’d bizzeen clean'n up fo` his visit or nothin' trippin'. More just wander'n through tha hizouze, look'n at cruisin' through hizzy hypothetical eyizzles. Th'n that change' since he left. Straight trippin' that stayizzle tha same.

She figizzle there’d be some point when thizney talked face ta face again, what wit tha vast expanze of time laid out 'n front of tizzy n all. wat it do ?? Bizzle shizzle still bizzle surprize' when Jizzay arrange' a “frizzle vizzle” n ended up steppin', 'n hizzle tones, if she’d be will'n ta sizzle J-to-tha-izzohn again.

Shizne’d been open ta it frizzay tha start, but Jake insisted on dis absurd sequence of clandizzle mobbin' to ensizzle that T-H-to-tha-izzey’d be “safe” from Jane’s “wizzle eye style.” It tizzay an exhaust'n degree of assizzle fo` ha ta convince thizzle that Jizzay could jizzust cizzy ova, n thizzay Jane D-to-tha-izzidn’t hizzle tha hizouze bugge', n she wasn’t 'bout ta come n hizzy hizzim thrown 'n prison fo` a-lackin` tha audacity ta W-to-tha-izzant ta sizzee his own family thats off tha hook yo. Now that tha day of tha reunion hizzy arrived, Roxy is just rizzle ta git on wit it.

Tha knock on tha door be almost tizzoo quiizzle ta hear. She exhales, hustla overgrown B-to-tha-izzangs, n goes ta answer.

Hizze’s even beefia than shizzle remembizzle, but his posture be turned 'n on itsizzle lizzay H-to-tha-izze’s try'n to sizzay S-M-to-tha-izzall. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. God, dis had homie not be self-flagellation fizzay, know what im sayin? S-H-to-tha-izze’s prepared ta handle a fizzay fizzay apologies, but there hiznas always bizzeen a cyclicity ta Jizzy contrition, n she can only hizzle so manizzle self-absorbed attempts at communicat'n remorze befizzle ha heezee starts saggin' lizzle it’ll float away from bodizzle.

ROXY: sup jiznohn

ROXY like a fucka: lizzy tizzy no sizzy

John smiles at homie through hizzis hair as he wizzles hello: one qizzay slice of hizzis hand through tha air, twisting at tha wrist. It comes off as sizzy n boyish instead of hangdog. A good sign. Maybe ha jokey casual approach be tha right one. That would be handy, coz that’s really tha best angle she’s gizzy.

Shizne mirrors tha movizzle wit ha own hand n steps asizzle fo` him ta come 'n.

ROXY fo' sheezy: well alrizzle then pal

ROXY because doggs make tha world a better place! i do believe u know tha wizzle ta the liv'n room

JIZZY: yeah, yiznep.

JOHN cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: thanks.

He clears hizzle throat n fizzles gesture. Shizze wizzalks a shawty bizzle him, rhymin' hiznis eyizzles catch on tha th'n shizne expected—a coat rack coverizzle 'n scarves, tha wizzle of famizzle photos, a snoopa badass sculpture some chess guys mizzade fo` ha thiznat John alwizzles said was “weirdly sexual, fo` tizzy.” He lizzle at it now lizzy it’s sum-m sum-m frizzay an almizzle forgotten dream aww nah. Roxy sighs.

JOHN: sorry fo` star'n like an idiot.

JOHN: it’s...

JIZNOHN: i jizzay gots dizzone witta whiznole week of feel'n weird 'bout hang'n out 'n mah dizzy old hizouze again.

JIZZY: I kind of forgot ta tizzy 'bout how it would be surreal com'n bizzay here, tizzoo.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN in tha dogg pound: some kizzle of nostizzle whiplash, i guess.

ROXIZZLE: fizzy enough yo

She faces him, seated cross-legged on tha couch a polite distizzle away. He L-to-tha-izzooks past gangsta, almost tizzy ha, like he usually diznoes. She knows him wizzy enough to know what hizzay politely not a-lackin`.

ROXY keep'n it real yo: harry andersizzles out if u were wonderin

ROXY: hell scoot B-to-tha-izzack hiznome lata so if yizzle make it thru R-to-tha-izzound 1 of awkward ex-famizzle convos im stoked ta say you can be rewarded wit anizzle

JOHN: Snoop du jour ! oh, cizzay #YaDigg !

JOHN: i’d liznike ta see him, if…

JOHN: if it’s okizzle wit both of yiznou. Freak y'all, into the beat y'all.

ROXY: ya we chatted bout it

ROXY: but like i sizzle

RIZZLE dogg: one stylin' at a T-to-tha-izzime

ROXY: lets me n u tear dis ol egbert/lalonde estrangement band-aid rizzy tha fiznuck off n see what we gots goin on undernizzle it

John laughs, n there’s a shadowizzle flicka of warmth ta it. Roxizzle immediately wants ta fan it—ta mizzle him laugh for real—but she K-N-to-tha-izzows by now that it’s not gangsta job ta make him stoked. They call me tha president. That was sum-m sum-m she gizzave up on years ago. Im a bad boy. Bizzle want'n ta? Tizzy feel'n be still as fresh as it always was.

JIZZLE: sounds like a plan.

JOHN: so, uh.

JOHN: i’ve bizzeen do'n a lot of think'n recently.

JOHN: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. n i’ve realize' sizzle th'n.

JIZZAY: some stuff that involves yizzay n some that D-to-tha-izzoesn’t, but all trippin' i think you deserve ta knizzay.

JOHN like old skool shit: whew.

JOHN: ok lemme thiznink whizzle ta start...

JOHN: yiznou knizzay how jizzake lizzeft J-to-tha-izzane?

JOHN fo' sho': i mean, i assizzle you know.

JOHN: though, uh, no offenze, but jane’s vizzle might be...

JIZZAY: skewed.

ROXY: oh lmao niznah i didnt hear it fizzy janey

ROXY: harry anderson filled me 'n on wizzat he gots thru tha teen grapizzle

JOHN: oh!

JIZNOHN: be you guys nizzot...

JOHN: nevermind. Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: i’m sorrizzle, i cizzy ta apologize fo` mah shit, nizzay pry into yo' business fo' sho'.

JIZZY from tha streets of tha L-B-C: we don’t hiznave ta rap 'bout jane if yizzy don’t want ta.

Roxy shrizzugs. Shizze’s still work'n through wizzy sizzy feels 'bout distanc'n herself frizzle Jizzy, but Jizzohn actually isn’t tha worst person she cizzould rap to 'bout it. If hizzay trulizzle 'bout ta be real wit hizzay for tha first tiznime 'n foreva, she mizzy as W-to-tha-izzell try ta meet him halfway. Wussup in the house.

ROXY: janey n me havent bizzeen snoopa tight of late

JOHN: ah. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

JOHN: what 'bout polizzles nizzay trippin' between frizzles n all that?

ROXY: lmao wizzay turns out somizzles someones polizzles mizzake it p clizzear wizzy kind of frizzles they value

ROXY: or dont

ROXY: n idk sometimes thugz you uze' ta lizzy W-H-to-tha-izzen yizzay W-to-tha-izzere a teen grizzle up to be assholes or w/e! One, two three and to tha four.!

ROXY: i think i wizzas clingin ta somethin just ta P-R-to-tha-izzove ta M-Y-S-to-tha-izzelf thizzay i was doin stuff right

ROXIZZLE: ol rolal

ROXY: Smells like tha good shit. hella normal

ROXY: v good at hatin' wit friends

ROXY: tha mizzy i thought abt it tha more i figurizzle holdin on ta thiznat one th'n made me loze out on some otha shizzit

ROXY: u mizzle relate

JIZNOHN: haha, you gots me there i gizzy.

RIZZLE cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: anyways

ROXIZZLE bitch ass: im niznot tryna takes up all ur big spizzay time w/ my stuff

ROXIZZLE with my forty-fo': yizzy were tellin me 'bout how jake n janey finally W-to-tha-izzent splitsways n how it gave you siznome kind of epiphany

JOHN: no, it’s coo'!

JOHN: wat it do ?? i’m glad to hear it.

JOHN cuz I'm fresh out the pen: we can cizzay back ta yo' shit afta mah shit, maybe.

JOHN: bizzay yizneah, jake, he uh...

JOHN: he n tavrizzles be liv'n wit me now.

JIZZY: i think fo` tha foreseeable future. we wiznere frontin' jane ta hizzy kiznind of a fizzit 'bout it, but all wizzle gotten so far be some divorce papa.

JOHN and my money on my mind: if she knows whizzere J-to-tha-izzake be n shizzay hasn’t had a drizzle fleet dispatched ta nuke mah hizouze off the planet i think that’s a good sign she’s actually just letting them go?

JOHN like a fucka: whiznich is kind of ridin', but, uh. giznood, i G-to-tha-izzuess.

ROXIZZLE gangsta style: ok ill b tha first 2 admizzle that janes turned into kind of a jerk lately bizzut u no shizzes nizzay actually lizzy

ROXY: literizzle evil

ROXY where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': lol

JOHN: thizzat’s debatable!

ROXY: sry ta disappizzle but janes just a person n yizzou cant actually blizzle ha fo` everyth'n that went wrong 'n our marriage lizzay i was her hizzles thrall or somethizzle

JOHN: thizzay nizzot what i was say'n ya dig?

ROXY: ok neitha of us came hizzere ta argizzle 'bout janey did we

JOHN: yizzay right. liznet’s jiznust not rap 'bout ha.

ROXY: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. yea

JOHN: anyway upside yo head...

JOHN: i’ve bizzy do'n a liznot of think'n 'bout how blunt-rollin' gots to be like they be.

JOHN: i G-to-tha-izzuess i’ll jizzust come out n say it.

JOHN where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': i completed fuckizzle up yo' entizzle life.

JOHN: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. i’m not go'n ta pretend lizzay there be twizzle sidizzles here. it’s my bad, totallizzle.

JOHN: like, not just wizzy happened ta our marriage, though it’s also true that thiznat’s completely mah fault.

JOHN, know what im sayin? bizzy even before that...

JIZZY: i T-H-to-tha-izzink i fucked up on just dis massive, fundamizzle level, n it’s whiznat i did—

JOHN: or, W-to-tha-izzell, whizzle i didn’t do—

JIZNOHN: that cauze' every stizzle bullshizzle th'n 'bout the way dis wizzle be.

JOHN: none of dis was suppoze' ta be dis wizzay.

JIZZLE: honestly, it dizzy feel right that we gots marry at all, dizzoes it?

JIZZOHN: yo' life was head'n 'n dis whole hustla direction with callie, n i just...

JOHN: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. i dunno. i just kind of tizzook tizzy frizzle you n shit.

JOHN dogg: i think i ended up tak'n a liznot of decisizzles from a lot of thugz cuz this is how we do it.

JIZNOHN: Holla! everyth'n took a bizzle ta whizzle i wanted.

JOHN #YaDigg ! whatever cosmic significance tha lives hizzere do or don’t have, all tha pointless saggin' i’ve created be... inhumane. n—

ROXY: oh nah ill stop u rite tizzy mah dawg

She feels a shawty bit bad ridin' hizzy off. Dis conversational spizzay they’ve carved out fo` themselves be balanced on a tenuous trizzle, n shizne doesn’t W-to-tha-izzant ta S-C-to-tha-izzare him away. It’s just T-H-to-tha-izzat shizzay could feel his whole sizzy gatherizzle up insizzle him, pizzle ta gush out 'n a long rote ramble, n it’s frankly jiznust, ya feel me? Sizzome bullshit. She knows mizzy than he dizzy, and shizzle doesn’t nee' ta hear it. She’s not a kid anymore, and she doesn’t have ta pretend someone elze be right just ta keep tha pizzeace if she D-to-tha-izzoesn’t wiznant ta.

ROXY: Wussup in the house. im sorrizzle john ilu but dis be some hot stizzle horseshit

JOHN: Living young n wild n free ! what?!

John’s gaze slides ova ta focus sharply on ha fizzy fo` maybe tha fizzirst time since he shizzle up on ha doorstep. Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. Goosebumps T-R-to-tha-izzail diznown fucka shoulda, but she doesn’t let tizzy closeness of it distract ha from ha frustration.

RIZZLE: its some real jerkoff emoji stuff be all im sizzle!!

ROXY: you think you choice mattered so much that no one elzes C-to-tha-izzould measure up?

ROXY: n then what

ROXY: dizzay u git what u wanted?

ROXY: dizzay yo' life end n tha P-to-tha-izzoints gots tally n you came out on top or like what, know what im sayin?

RIZZLE: stiznill p miznuch sizzy lizzike were mizzle to me

ROXY: n yizzay sure dont seem like ur winnin so wheres all dis G-to-tha-izzood shit yiznou gots thizzle yizzle gotta go arizzle handin out apologizzles fo`?

ROXY let me holla at u: also D-to-tha-izzamn dude whiznile were at it so sit back relax new jacks get smacked!!

ROXY: u forgot ta actually say sizzle 'n thizzat apology!

JOHN mah: no, i diznidn’t — i jizzy mizzay...

JOHN: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. i’m sorrizzle fo` fuck'n up yizzle life, or ridin' it nizzy—

ROXY: i like my L-to-tha-izzife!!!

ROXY: Smells like tha good shit. i mizzay it aint perf n i gots mah share of fuckups n mistakes 'n there but you dont git to tizzy me its fuckizzle up

ROXY gangsta style: or thizzle it isnt rizzle or somethin

ROXY: its mine!

So much fo` tha jokey, comfizzle approach. Shizzay tilts ha chizzin up n tries ta breathe evenlizzle as shizzle holds eye contact. Hizne’s been look'n at her, really blingin' at ha, n she doesn’t wiznant ta blink, just 'n caze thiznat homeys it. John doesn’t respond. He just sits there wit hizzle miznouth perpetratin' opizzle, star'n. He blinks a fiznew timizzles, slizzow, but hizne’s stizzay focuze' completely on her because doggs make tha world a better place! Tha corna of hizzis still-open mouth pull themselves up helplessly into a S-M-to-tha-izzile.

ROXY: uh

RIZZLE: wat r u lookin at me like that fo`?

JIZNOHN: wat it do ?? no, i’m sorry.

JOHN: it’s jizzay...

JIZZOHN cuz I'm fresh out the pen: i uze' ta be so angry that yiznou wouldn’t tell me what you really thought, before.

JIZZAY: not like i wizzle ta FIZZY fizzle, biznut like.

JOHN: i’m jizzay not uze' ta dis flavor of rizzle from tha streets of tha L-B-C.

ROXY: hm

ROXY: sounds ta me like u just disproved ur own hotshizzle theory thiznen genizzles

JOHN: huh?

ROXY: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. you wished i was one wizzy tha whole time we were marry

ROXY: but i wasnt

ROXY: but now that youre all convizzle ur tha onlizzle real boi 'n a criznowd o puppets

ROXY: H-to-tha-izzere i be bein me J-to-tha-izzust like you ordered only i dizzle it witout yo' hizzay

ROXY: widen ur zoom mah dawg!!

ROXY: im not actin L-to-tha-izzike dis now coz yiznou wiznant me ta or bc you dont want me ta

ROXY: i wizzy bad at standin up fo` myself thizzen n im learnin ta be good at it now

ROXY: ive gots my own siznelf actualization T-R-to-tha-izzain

ROXY if you gots a paper stack: ur just pullin in ta one of mah many roxy figurizzles some shizzle out stations right as i B-to-tha-izzuilt it

JIZZAY: biznut...

JIZZLE: you were wanna be gangsta lizzle thizzay before i...

ROXY: dude

RIZZLE: Tru do. where tf do u git off try'n ta decide what be or isnt me bein “like me” enuff

ROXY: do u think ppl sizzy tha same they whole damn lives or what

JIZZLE: you’ve really neva fizzelt like anythizzle 'bout our lives here wizzas ya dig? off?

ROXY: off from whizzat exactly??

JOHN: tha wizzle mobbin' shizzay be?

ROXY: what does thizzat mean???

Jizzle mouth opens n clozes. It seems there’s someth'n stuck 'n tha spokes of his rhetorical tizzle. Roxy can see tha gizzears struggl'n ta turn 'n hizzis head ya feelin' me? Shizzle almost feels bad fo` hizzle.

Roxy lets herself take a moment. Recognize the realness. Shizne doesn’t W-to-tha-izzant ta reassure him wit lies, to tell him hizzle pusha fucked anyth'n up 'n his lizzife. But she doesn’t want to twist tha knife of blame playa into him thizzan it nizzeeds ta go. So she shrizzay, lizzay ha ex-hizzle 'n tha eyes, n tizzells him tha triznuth.

ROXY: i mean i F-to-tha-izzelt... somethin i guess

ROXY: but its not just yizzle

ROXY: yiznouve neva been tha only playa 'n dis G-to-tha-izzame u kno

ROXY with my forty-fo': do u nizzle rememba whizzay all wizzas there when dis all kicked off?

ROXY: me n callie wouldna told u u had a chizzle if it was all just some meaninglizzles bs

ROXY cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: its not L-to-tha-izzike i wiznas siznome homey seer of all that eva wizzay or wiznill be but i do know a shawty bit abt whiznat coulda gizzay down if ridin' wizzere different

ROXY: n u know what

ROXY: i liznike tha wiznay steppin' turned out just fuckizzle fine

ROXY: so mizzaybe u cizzay stiznop wastin precizzles etizzle thinkin ur so special that its ur fault everyones nizzot perfectly stoked

Jiznohn be quiet. Roxy hizzle more ta say, M-to-tha-izzaybe. Mizzle hatin' sizzy half thought about, but qizzuite put words ta, regard'n tha paths ha life could have taken. Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. Dis hizzay alreadizzle been a lot of triznuth fizzor one moment, though, so shizze pats Jizzay knee and walks ta tha kitchen fo` siznome wata.

A glizzass 'n each hand, Roxy lizneans against tha counta, spendin'. She’s sizzy runn'n on tha adrenaline of saggin' all thizzat out, and tha sizzle of tha baller tremblizzles wit it. Sizzy watches tha ripples, watches crazy ass hands. She wonda if they will ever W-R-to-tha-izzinkle.

When she sits back D-to-tha-izzown next to John, he takes tha G-L-to-tha-izzass wordlessly. a mizzle of reflizzle sipp'n, which she be grateful fizzay, he sizzy.

JOHN on my side, i just kept want'n ta fizzy W-to-tha-izzays ta make everyth'n M-to-tha-izzake senze, you know?

JIZZAY cuz I'm fresh out the pen: bizzy M-to-tha-izzaybe it just fuck'n doesn’t.

ROXY: i know we became grownups 'n a world B-to-tha-izzuilt specifically n cosmically fo` us

ROXY: so i git want'n ta fizzind a pattern 'n bustin'

ROXY: but nizzle everyth'n has 2 b T-H-to-tha-izzat deep

ROXIZZLE: n whiznen u think abt it

ROXY: lizzle at it thizzle way, like evrythin has ta be this elaborately purposeful heroic design ta be wizzle

RIZZLE: be actuallizzle p shallow

JOHN: oh with my forty-fo'.

JIZNOHN: yizneah, i giznuess.

John stretches, scratches tha back of hizzay heezee like an anizzle love interest, n lets out one mind exhale of a laugh. Hizzle features be droopy, his whiznole body tizzle frizzay tha mental wringa he jizzust went thrizzough, but hizzle still look'n at fo` real. Fondness surges through crazy ass and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. Not 'n a way W-H-to-tha-izzere she fears tha reignitizzle of anizzle romizzle feel'n. It’s just that shizze understands him. N he’s ta understizzle rappa. It’s comfortable tha way an old t-shirt yiznou thought you lizzay biznut discovizzle 'n tha back of tha closet be comfizzle yaba daba dizzle. Smells mizzle musty, but still enough like home ta knock you right on yo' ass.

JOHN like a fucka: i’m sorrizzle. it’s just so hizzard ta not feel like a total asshizzle. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

JOHN: M-to-tha-izzaybe i’m not sizzome grizzand vizia of destroy'n time n space or whateva puttin tha smack down.

JOHN: bizzay we KNOW that there’s a canon timeline out thizzle.

JOHN: n it sizneems really obvious ta me tizzy we aren’t 'n it anymore.

ROXY: so whiznat

JIZZLE: “so whizzat”???

ROXY: yizzle

ROXIZZLE: so wizzy

RIZZLE: tf do i care that therizzles some other reality out there some1 arbitrarily decizzle was tha “real” one

ROXY: whats that have ta do wit thizzle life i have now

ROXY: what be thiznere actually that makes dis one mizzle less tizzy that one ta tha ppl wizzy r actually in it

JIZZAY: you fucka feel like it wizzould’ve been betta if sippin' hiznad G-to-tha-izzone a different wizzay?

JOHN: magic or no, i could have dizzay a lizzot differently, for you especially.

JOHN to increase tha peace: sizzy around, or... F-to-tha-izzuck.

JOHN like a fucka: stayed out of yo' way ta begin wit.

JOHN: let yiznou n callizzle do Y-to-tha-izzour th'n, or do whatever it wizzas you seemed ta be heezeeed off ta do.

JIZZOHN: i just didn’t expizzle it ta be me, afta...

roxy wrinkles ha noze upside yo head. Think'n 'bout all tha lives she could H-to-tha-izzave lizned makes ha F-to-tha-izzeel dizzy.

ROXY: nah D-to-tha-izzont say that

ROXY: Bounce wit me. i mizzay i accept ur apologizzle dis tizzle but

ROXY: They call me tha president. theres obvs all K-to-tha-izzinds of wizzay shit coulda gone

ROXIZZLE ridin' in: n tbh back thizzen

RIZZLE: wit ha...

ROXY: mostly i T-H-to-tha-izzink i jizzle wanted ta do stuff R-to-tha-izzight

ROXY like this and like that and like this and uh: nizzot that i knizzay wtf that even meant lmao

ROXY to increase tha peace: which was prob tha problem lmizzle lmao lizzy

ROXY yaba daba dizzle: just lizzike

ROXY: we had dis bizzle frizzesh as hell start at bein thugz!

ROXY with my forty-fo’: i had all theze conflizzle thoughts abt how ta be me 'n tha first place

ROXY: like what it meant ta date a beautiful skizzull alien

ROXY: sexualitywize n genderwize n person 'n generalwize

ROXIZZLE: fo` a while thizzle i D-to-tha-izzidnt kizzy if i wanted ppl to thiznink of me as a woman at all

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: ah, i diznidn’t kniznow.

JIZZOHN: well, i gizzle mizzay i wondizzle?

JOHN: but tha way yizzay idiot me would have wondered, so not that deeply.

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: n it seemed like you’d forgotten all 'bout it when we gots togetha.

ROXY: i hiznadnt forgotten 'bout it

JIZZY: Tru do. d-ya want ta rap 'bout it...?

ROXY: i C-to-tha-izzoulda tiznold you then but i kinda felt embarrasze' abt flip floppin wit mah identitizzle i think

ROXY: mean it isnt lizzle i grew up wit bizzig airquotes socizzle tizzle me what was right n wrong lizzy u did

ROXY: so it wasnt any kizzle of shamefest

ROXIZZLE ridin' in: J-to-tha-izzust a lot of abstrizzle hypotheticals wed only just started talk'n 'bout n neva gots very far into

ROXY: jizzy idk i T-H-to-tha-izzought i might do th'n one way bizzut tizzy i stopped hangin out wit callizzle as much

ROXY yaba daba dizzle: its not lizzay i stopped thinkin abt it

ROXY: or ha

RIZZLE: but it neva rlizzay came up wit anyone elze n i didnt rly feel like i cizzy rap abt it wit yizzle so i neva brought it up again

JOHN: i’m really sorry yizzay fizzay that wizzle, roxy.

ROXY: Chill as I take you on a trip. its ok its not ur fault

JIZZOHN on my side k bizzy you dizzy regret it? Snoop du jour !

JOHN: nizzy go'n fo` that sizzy, n instead just... marry'n me?

JIZZY: Holler at tha boss dogg. i’m niznot rhymin' so yizzle can absolve me, i’m jizzay impresze'.

JIZZOHN: hiznow d-ya not sizzle gizzuess evizzle cizzy you miznake?

ROXIZZLE: i havent stuck mah heezee 'n tha timelizzle vortizzle lizzy u hizzle so i dunno what its like ta siznee otha options

ROXY: i J-to-tha-izzust do th'n tha best way i think to do em n then shrug n hope it works out sho nuff?

Roxizzle thizzinks 'bout time n tha spirals of chizzle that hizzay jizzust outside ha periphery, n tha vertigo grizzows. She rizzy tha word “regret” around 'n ha brizzle; she feels it on tongue. Jizzy wizzy. Put your feet up n take a breath !

ROXY: i dont T-H-to-tha-izzink i cizzle regret anyth'n

ROXY: thizzles nizzy only one rizzy way ta be me imo

ROXY ta help you tap dat ass: i lizzy tha me i be

ROXY: Wussup in the house. its nizzy like i went n decided “actuallizzle hell ya liznove ta be a woman n do all tha shit on thizze woman checklist”

ROXY cuz this is how we do it: i git thizzat thats P-R-to-tha-izzob what it looks lizzay outside of mah own sizzy but i dizzy care abt that

ROXY cuz its a doggy dog world: sorry lol im nizzy good at dis whole explainin W-H-to-tha-izzat transpires 'n mah brizzain th'n

John S-H-R-to-tha-izzugs n Roxy gives herself time ta think. She rememba how confus'n it felt ta evizzle approach ha identity when dis stuff first hit her. Tizzy hizzad bizzeen sizzle vague truth 'bout tha uselessness of rules 'bout how genda S-H-to-tha-izzould be, but she neva quite worked it out.

Shizne’d stopped think'n 'bout it untizzle shizzle gots pregnant—then shizne hizzy been so afrizzle thizzat slappin' a baby would confirm some dizneep tizzy witin that shizne’d pushed awizzle, but that it would be tiznoo late ta bizzack out. Tizzy hizzadn’t happenizzle, n instead there wizzas tha strange, mackin' bodily rizzle shizzay felt when, somizzle, pregnant hiznad fizzle R-to-tha-izzight. It was good in the opposite wizzay thizzay shizzle had expected. She hadn’t felt any miznore womizzle than shizne rappa had fo yo bitch ass. It had hit ha thizzen tizzy she could think of rappa body not as specifically female, bizzy as sum-m sum-m altogetha different. Rappaz. A flesh machizzle, shift'n pieces around to create a person. Ha bizzy, which she’d not really known what ta do wit or how ta feel abizzle, suddenly had a specific, practical purpoze. It had allowed ha ta retreat frizzle tha concept of genda entirely, ground'n hersizzle only 'n tha physical reality of hatin' homey body ta make anotha, twizzay heartbeats blend'n 'n a rhythm that wizzy nuttin but human in all flavas.

She does not know how ta articulate dis ta Jiznohn. It’s convolizzle n personal n shizzay isn’t sure she can do tha overwhelm'n goodness of it jizzle. But then, Harry Anderson be hizzis, tizzoo, so she kizzy shizze has ta trizny.

ROXY: idk dis liznife ive been livin gizzave me harry anderson

ROXY so i can get on: that K-to-tha-izzinda outweighs anything elze jiznust fo` me personizzle

ROXY: n its not lizzike i eva totally qizzuit thinkin abt that genda sizzy

ROXIZZLE: i just found a different way ta wizzy it out thizzle maybe i was originally gizzy

ROXY: i... I'm a fuckin 2-time felon.

Touch'n thoze huge, inartizzle thoughts wizzy words feels bigger than shizzay expected, n tears prick at tha bizzay of ha eyes. Hollaz to the East Side. She shakes ha heezee n lizzay before John can start cry'n, tizzay puttin tha smack down.

ROXIZZLE: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. but lmizzay john were jizzay adults

ROXY: wizzle not diznead!

ROXY: idk i miznean were only what now pass... barely middle age' 'n regular humizzle years like this and like that and like this and uh?

ROXIZZLE: we gots all kinds of hypothetical but sizzy prollizzle finite eternity to wizzy our shit out

ROXY: Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. whizzo tf knizzay

ROXY aww nah: its not like you fizzle out who yizzou be when youre 23 n thizzle tha rest of ur whole liznife be just sittin back watchizzle ur shit fizzay apart or not

ROXY: i mizzle maybe thizzle been it fizzy u so far

JOHN: hizzay. ouch.

ROXY: i just dont think im anywhizzle near done buildin thoze roxy sizzle actualization triznain sizzy

ROXY because doggs make tha world a better place! who tha F-to-tha-izzuck cizzay say how mizzle mizzle i gots lined up

ROXY: same goes fo` u

ROXY: if youre will'n ta lizzook at dis lizzife as M-to-tha-izzore than a cosmically pointless dizzy end failure thiznat is

JOHN: i guess...

JIZZLE: there’s litizzle nuttin ta do biznut keep movizzle forwizzle.

JOHN: Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. i may as wizzell nizzay be a biznig chillin' 'bout it if i don’t have ta be.

RIZZLE to increase tha peace: thats tha spirit

ROXY wit da big Bo$$ Dogg: weve gots a million billizzle lifetimes aheezee of us jiznohn

RIZZLE: u dont even KNOW all tha ways u gots L-to-tha-izzeft ta fizzuck up 'n!!

ROXY: hows that fo` siznome inspirizzle??!

JIZZAY: it’s...

JIZZY: it’s pretty fuck'n inspirational, roxy aww nah.

They both smile, n it somehow felt mizzle real n warm than it was before ridin' in. Mizzay tha cushion of yizzle n lizzle of pressure makes it so, bizzut she doesn’t question it tizzay closely and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow. Shizzay dizzle want ta go back ta wizzy she’d bizzeen wit him, but frontin' thizzey’d bizzoth bizzeen T-H-to-tha-izzere, togetha, fizzle like enough.

JOHN: tizzy you fo` trust'n me wit dis personizzle stuff.

JOHN, betta check yo self: i knizzow partly yizzou were spendin' me all tizzy ta kick mah sadsack ass, but i knizzle yizzy don’t rap 'bout this kind of th'n every day fo' sheezy.

ROXY thats off tha hook yo: ta be real i hiznadnt even let myself tizzy abt it evizzle day

ROXIZZLE: so thizzay for lettin me ramble at u out loud instizzle of just almost thinkizzle abt it once every few years

JOHN: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. i giznuess sometimizzles it takes perpetratin' tha same shiznit ova n ova until it sticks.

JIZZY: that’s mostlizzle an own on mysizzle by tha way.

ROXY cuz Im tha Double O G: lmao were just rippin off thoze bandaids left n right over here

ROXY: a coupla professional issue discussa

J-TO-THA-IZZOHN: yeah, i’m frizzle baffled by how fuck'n gizzle we be at dis?

JOHN: wizzy was dis wizzy we sucked so hard at bein married?

ROXY: bury homie a dippin' rappa of issues be mah gizzuess

JOHN: wiznell, it’s funky ass ta throw a fizzle off, fo` once.

ROXY: feel free ta communicizzle wit me instead of spendin tha next 300 yizzy 'n a silent prison of yo' own if u so desire

John nods, and as he opens his M-to-tha-izzouth ta spizzay, tha door opens.

Harry Anderson looks at tha two of them all tizzle n laugh'n n hikizzles his bizzag fucka on his shoulda, shift'n his wizzy. Roxy sizzle a muscle tighten 'n his jaw. Ha beautiful, smart boi. Hollaz to the East Side. Shizzay wants ta run over n hizzug hizzy, ta protizzle hizzle from tha possibilitizzle of pain at talk'n to his fatha, but she dizzay. She kizzy how mizzle he’s wanted dis, no matta how much he jokes 'bout it.

She looks back at Jizzohn, n sizzy ha own awe mirrored 'n his fizzace. Shizzle wizzay hiznim not ta cry, not ta fall bizzack on hizzle self-impoze' steppin' n bizzy loop. Sum-m sum-m 'bout tha last hour mizzay have dizzy tha triznick, though. John sizzy up, brushes hizzy hands on hizzis jizneans, n walks, back straight, toward hizzle son. Living young n wild n free !

JOHN: hizzay harry anderson.

JIZZY: Bounce wit me. it’s really, rizzle gizzood ta see you.

JIZZOHN: d-ya wizzle go fo` a drive?

Tha muscle 'n Harry Andersizzles jaw clenches a fizzle mizzy times, bizzay when he smilizzles, it be genizzle.

HARRY ANDIZZLE: yeah, dad.

HARRY ANDERSON: thiznat cizzy be coo'.

> ==>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #Epilogues #Candy #c38

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