#Dr Andy Woods | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cevansbrat0007 · 1 year

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The Green Light

Summary: Full Story! Andy is over the moon when you finally get the green light to be intimate again after the birth of your babies. But how do you explain to him that you're not quite comfortable with your post-pregnancy body just yet? Check out the sequel: The Green Light Afterglow.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Light Smut, Daddy Kink, Insecure Reader, Discussions of Post-Pregnancy Body, Discussions of Intimacy, Slight Lactation Kink Reference, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: I know this took a while. Thank you all for your patience and I sincerely hope it's okay. Prompt courtesy of an anonymous reader. Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. Warnings subject to change. All mistakes are my own. Please let me know your thoughts!

___

“Well, I’ve gotta tell you, my dear, by all appearances you’ve healed just fine.” You let out a sigh as Dr. Wilson, your OBGYN, removes the speculum. God, how you hated that thing. “You can go ahead and sit up.” You watch as he removes his gloves to make some notes on his mobile workstation. “Everything looks good. How have you been feeling lately? Raising four kids is no easy feat, especially when half of them are newborns.”

“Andy and I try to split the shifts as best we can. If he’s helping with the twins then I’ve got the older girls, and vice versa.”

“That’s good. One thing I’ve always liked about the two of you is that you believe in teamwork. You’d be surprised at how many couples don’t.” He makes a few more notes. “And how many hours of sleep would you say you get a night? Ballpark it for me if you can.”

“Um…” You have to think about that one. “Maybe five. Yeah, I would say about five hours a night. And I can occasionally squeeze in a quick nap during the day when the twins are sleeping. It doesn’t happen all of the time, but it’s better than nothing.”

The older man nods his head. “And how are Bianca and Katrina adjusting to the new additions? And by the way, don’t forget that you promised to show me pictures, because I certainly haven’t.” Dr. Wilson looks up from his computer and offers you a warm smile.

“I haven’t forgotten, don’t worry.” You tell him with a chuckle. “And they’re okay. Bianca loves to hold them all the time. And Katrina is enjoying being a big sister – she’s very helpful. She wants to play with them so bad, but she doesn’t quite get that they’re still a little too young.”

“I see. And is she still threatening to put A.J. outside?” The corners of his eyes crinkle as he struggles not to laugh just like he had when you’d first relayed your three-year-old’s initial reaction to your pregnancy reveal.

“Oh, God. She’s only made that threat twice I think since we’ve brought them home. Once when he wouldn’t stop crying. And then again when she wanted to cuddle with me while I was in the middle of a feeding. Other than that, she’s been fine. He’s growing on her.”

“Glad to hear it.” He mutters. “That’s usually how it goes. Give it a few years, and I bet they’ll be the best of friends.”

God, you sure hoped so. Just last night you had a dream about finding your little boy out in the woods. Except he’d somehow grown a beard, making him look like a baby mountain man. And, of course, he had been clutching that damn blankie too!

“Well, you’ll be happy to know that I’m officially giving you the all-clear to resume any and all physical activity. If you have any concerns after we’re done here, you know I’m only a phone call away.”

Thank goodness! You couldn’t wait to start working out again. You were tired of rocking stretchy pants and maternity clothes.

Your phone buzzes in your purse as Dr. Wilson finishes up whatever else he’s typing. It goes on for a while before it finally stops, only to resume buzzing seconds later.

If you were a betting woman, and you were, you’d put your money on the person behind all the constant buzzing being none other than your husband, Andrew. You knew he’d been waiting for this day. Your man had been extra giddy this morning. So much in fact that you could’ve sworn he’d clicked his heels on his way out the door.

___

Twenty Minutes Later…

You wait to check your phone until after your appointment is over and you're safely back in your car. According to your phone, you have two missed calls from Andy Bear, along with three new texts.

Andy Bear: Hey, baby girl. How’d the appointment go? Did we get the all clear?

Andy Bear: Can you answer your phone, please? I want to hear your sweet voice when you tell me the good news.

Andy Bear: C'mon! You’ve got me dancing on pins and needles right now. Call me.

You shake your head and then dial your man. He answers on the second ring.

“There you are, sweetness! I was starting to get worried there for a moment.” The genuine concern in his voice has you playfully rolling your eyes.

“Relax, Andy. Sometimes these appointments can take a while. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong, Dr. Wilson is just being thorough.” You check your appearance in the rearview mirror, noting that the bags under your eyes seem to look better than they have in days. “That’s part of the reason he’s been my OBGYN for so long, because he’s good at what he does.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. He’s great.” You know he's not being dismissive on purpose, it’s just that he’s chomping at the bit to hear one key piece of information. “How’s your little body? Did we get the green light?”

Ahh, and there it was. Sometimes Andrew Barber was like a dog with a fucking bone. And only your husband would refer to your body as being “little” when you were still walking around sporting maternity wear.

“I’ve been cleared for all physical activity. Which means I can finally start working out again and –”

“Fuck, yeah we did!” He cheers into the receiver, loud enough to make you wince. “Alright, baby girl, that settles it. BiBi and KitCat are going to my sister’s for a sleepover and the twins will stay at grandma’s. Meanwhile, I’m gonna leave the office early to pick us up some dinner. How about we celebrate with some surf and turf?”

“Oh my god, Andrew! We are not leaving our two newborns at your mother’s house for the night. That’s too much!”

“What if she already said yes?” You have no doubt that your unrepentant husband is smiling hard enough to crack a tooth right about now.

“You didn’t.” Your head drops to the steering wheel with a light thunk.

“Oh, I did.” The sound of an eager chuckle spills across the other line. “Ma and Bill are happy to keep Rory and Junior. She said you left them with enough formula and diapers to get ‘em through and that she, and I quote, would be positively heartbroken if you deprived her of time with her precious new grandchildren.”

“Andy…I don’t know…” As tempting as the thought of a night of uninterrupted slumber was, you were on the fence about being away from your precious babies for that long.

RoRo needed to be rocked to sleep, while A.J. needed you to pat his little tush and bounce him just so. And they both needed approximately 1,375 kisses every five minutes, otherwise they got fussy.

“You must really want a good night’s sleep, huh, Big Man?”

“Baby, when I get my hands on you, I promise that sleeping will be the last thing on both of our minds. Now, I’ve gotta run. But I’ll see you home around 4:00pm.”

“Andy…”

How did you tell your husband that you weren’t really feeling your post-pregnancy body right now? You’d even taken to changing in the bathroom lately. Thankfully he hadn’t seemed to notice that increasingly bad habit of yours…

At least not yet. But it was only a matter of time.

“Hush, sweetness. You just let Daddy take care of everything, okay? I’ve been dreaming of this day for almost two months now, and I plan to take my time loving all over every inch of your delectable body. And what’s more, you’re going to let me.” You can practically feel your nipples pebbling beneath the fabric of your shirt.

God, how did he always manage to sound so sexy when he was telling you what to do? Handsome ass buttface!

“I’ve gotta head into this meeting, but in the meantime, get some rest. You’re gonna need it.”

“Yeah, okay, sure.” You respond with a resigned sigh. “I…I guess I’ll see you when you get home then.”

“Damn right. Can’t wait to lose myself between those luscious thighs.” Andy rasps, with a slightly roughened edge to his tone. “It’s been way too long since I’ve had a taste…”

Oh good God…and it had been way too long since you had to deal with beard burn. At this point, you’d almost forgotten about what it felt like.

“Bye, Andy Bear.”

"Goodbye, little love.”

The call ends, leaving you alone with your thoughts. Putting the car in drive, you pull out of the parking lot and start thinking of every argument you could possibly make to talk your sweet, although slightly ogreish, husband out of sexy times and into sleepy times. But there was also something that told you that might not work.

Which meant it was time to come up with a Plan B. And while you were at it, probably a Plan C too.

___

Later That Afternoon...

“This makes me look like an apple with legs.”

You stare at your reflection in the bathroom mirror trying your best not to give in to the overwhelming feeling of defeat. At this point, you’d tried on multiple sets of lingerie – all different styles, cuts, and colors.

And this one had been the only thing that seemed to look halfway decent.

Well, the good news was that your ass was still there. But the bad news? So was your stomach.

“Swear to God…I’m gonna find an ocean and throw myself in it.” You mutter as you stare at your reflection. You let out a resigned sigh as you do a little spin. “Knowing my ass can’t swim.” You gently smoosh your hand against your tummy in an attempt to flatten it.

To be fair, you’d only given birth two months ago and the lingerie you’d purchased was kind of slimming so…

Maybe you were being too hard on yourself. Or, maybe it was still worth trying to convince your husband to settle for an evening filled with dinner and cuddles. You really weren’t in the mood to take your clothes off in front of him at the moment.

Hell, who were you kidding? You could walk around wearing nothing but fishnets and tinfoil and the man would still find a reason to be into you.

Sometimes your loving husband was a man of the hopeless variety.

Plus, while Andrew Barber wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to do, he would definitely do everything in his power to persuade you. And he could be very persuasive when he put his mind to it.

Yeah. You were probably fucked.

You take a deep breath and run your fingers through your thick hair, loosening and fluffing your curls. Although Andy would be home any minute, there was still time to throw on sweats and a t-shirt or something.

“Fuck!” You hiss as your eyes well and your bottom lip begins to tremble. The other problem was that, while you were convinced that you needed more time, you also wanted to make your husband happy. But how could you when you could barely stomach the idea of taking off your clothes in front of him.

Just last week, some asshole at your favorite smoothie bar had the nerve to ask how far along you were – his intrusive gaze lingering on your post-baby body. His audacity had caught you so off guard that you were pretty sure that you’d given some unintelligible answer before snatching your drink and running towards the nearest exit.

That one little interaction had practically eviscerated what little bit of self-confidence you had left. And while you hadn’t made specific mention of it to Andy, you might end up doing so – if only to plead your case.

Which was that you were simply too large right now to be sexy, let alone feel attractive. Your skin was too loose, your stretch marks too prominent. And not only that, you were pretty sure that the only reason Andy wanted you right now was because he hadn’t gotten any in a couple of months.

Once his itch had been sufficiently scratched, the haze would clear and then your husband would see your body for what it was. He would understand your need to undress behind closed doors, without an audience. And then he would give you however much time you needed to get yourself back into some semblance of shape.

A lone tear slips down your cheek, which only serves to piss you off more. And although you’re quick to dash it away, another one is soon to follow. The last thing you needed for Andrew to notice you’d been crying. There was no need for both of you to feel bad about the state of things, you know?

With one last shake of your head you decide to throw on your robe and head downstairs to greet your man.

“Let’s get this shit over with.”

___

Ten Minutes Later…

“Baby?” Your husband calls out as he enters the house from the garage. “Baby, I’m home! Where are you?”

“Kitchen!” You go back to busying yourself folding your brand new set of dish towels you’d purchased from Bed, Bath, & Beyond. That store was one of your happy places, second only to Target and Disney World. It also helped that there was one located almost directly across the street from the mall you’d stopped at as well.

Your pulse quickens as you hear him approach, his rapidly falling footsteps coming closer by the second.

“Ah, I found you.” Andy rounds the corner, grinning from ear to ear. “Hi, my gorgeous girl.” His smile somehow grows impossibly wider. “I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“Well, here I am.” You cast him a demure glance over your shoulder. “Although, I’m afraid I’m probably not much to look at.” Noticing his hands are surprisingly empty, you attempt to change the subject. “I thought you were gonna stop and grab dinner on the way?”

“I was.” He cocks his hip against the kitchen counter as loosens his tie. “But since you didn’t seem all that keen on the idea of surf and turf this morning I figured I’d hold off. Maybe see how we were feeling later this evening.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? Is that all my baby has to say about that?” Andy tosses his tie onto the counter before unfastening the top three buttons of his light blue dress shirt. “Just oh?”

“Uh, yeah. How was your day?” You were quickly running out of towels to unfold and refold. If you kept it up you were going to start looking like a lunatic.

“Too long for a man who’s been missing his wife the way I have.” His sensual purr is enough to make you weak in the knees. “It was fucking excruciating, Baby Girl.”

Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye – fuck! Your dumbass just made fucking eye contact!

Your throat suddenly goes dry as the weight of his intense gaze threatens to overwhelm you. Andrew Barber always seemed to have this way about him. Only he had the power to unravel you in this manner.

It was truly a skill that was his alone. But on days like today, it was also a major nuisance.

“Come here.” The gentleness of his tone softens the command.

“Umm…” Instead of doing as you’re told you decide to shove those stupid towels you’ve been preoccupied with into a drawer. Which also happens to be the wrong drawer. Kitchen linens didn’t belong with the cutting boards. Anybody with some sense could see that!

“Sweetheart…” Andy’s voice drops another octave. “Stop fussing with those and come here already. I’d really like to hold my wife.” His earnest plea has your eyes welling with tears.

“Yeah. Okay.” You sniffle out, before dropping the towel and making a headlong dash into his waiting embrace. He wraps his brawny arms around you then, tucking his chin into your thick mane of glossy curls.

The two of you stand there without moving. Holding each other close as your hearts beat in time with one another. Andy’s hand comes to rest on your lower back, his palm slowly rubbing in small, soothing circles.

“What’s wrong, princess?” He hugs even tighter as you gently nuzzle your face against his chest, effectively wiping off what little bit of makeup you’d managed to apply earlier. “Tell me, please.”

Aww. Your sweet Ogre had even said “please”.

“Nothing.” Which was also code for everything.

Andy steps back to tenderly grip your chin, his thumb lightly smoothing across your bottom lip. “You know Daddy doesn’t like it when you lie.” And then he leans in to brush his mouth over your own. “Especially when you’re upset.”

“I know.” The words come out barely above a whisper. “And I’m fine. I just, um…” You go to pull away, surprised when he actually lets you. “I went and did a little shopping today. You know…cuz’ we got the green light. But – well, not the robe. Th–that isn’t new. But once I got it home and really looked at it, I um…” You throw up your hands as everything comes tumbling out in one jumbled mess.

“It just doesn’t fit right, okay? It probably didn’t even fit properly at the boutique when I tried it on and I just didn’t notice. Because the lighting was different and the mirrors are maybe a little more forgiving. Kind of like the ones you find in a funhouse. Except all of them were super flattering. Not like the one we’ve got in our bathroom here at home. Which…I mean that’s probably how they get ya, right?”

Your husband lifts a quizzical brow as you continue to ramble and slowly back away. You knew there was quite literally no possible chance you could manage to outrun your handsome attorney. But that didn’t mean you weren’t above giving it the old college try.

“So, I’m just gonna go upstairs and peel this ugly thing off. That way neither one of us has to even bother looking at it.” You finish rather lamely.

“And why exactly do you think I wouldn’t want to look at you? How about you explain that one to me, please?” Andy growls, jamming his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

“Because I don’t like the way I look right now and I’m pretty sure that if I show you, then you won’t either.”

Andy stares you down, the muscle ticking in his jaw. But you were beyond caring at this point. Right now was about acknowledging the truth regarding your body and the level of comfort you had with it.

“That’s bullshit, baby.” He rakes an impatient hand through his hair, moussing the auburn strands. “You know I love the way you look. I fucking adore you.”

“And that last part may very well be true, Big Man.” You concede, toying with the material of your robe. “But I, um...” A lump forms in your throat, but you force yourself to press on. “I do believe you love the way I look when I’m pregnant, yes. So do I…mostly. And you also love the way I look when I’m not pregnant. As in, after I’ve lost a healthy chunk of the baby weight.”

“What in the–? I mean, Jesus fucking Christ!” Your husband cuts himself off mid-sentence as he rocks back on his heels – as if stunned by your admission.

“I’m saying this wrong.” Good lord, you needed to get a better handle on the direction of this conversation. “Fuck! I know I am. But I don’t feel very good about myself right now. I don’t want to take off my clothes. I don’t want you to see me in this lingerie. Because I am almost entirely convinced that once you do – once you see all that I’m currently working with – you will change your mind about wanting to sleep with me.”

“You don’t mean that.” Andy scoffs under his breath, which you ignore.

“And if I see that…if I see that switch flip behind your eyes when it finally clicks just how unattractive I truly am…I don’t think I could handle that.”

As hard as this was, it was important for you to make him understand. And once you were finished, perhaps you could cook the two of you something for dinner. After that you would simply settle in and enjoy an easy, child-free night.

“Meaning?” Andy grunts.

“Meaning, I’m not taking off this robe tonight.” You blow out a weary breath as your hands go rest on your hips. “In fact, I don’t even know why –”

“Are you finished yet, sweetheart?” Your husband finally interrupts, apparently having had enough of your tirade. “Or do you have more? Because I’ve gotta tell you, as nice as it is that you think you’ve decided all this shit for us, your Daddy has quite a bit to say. So, are you fucking finished?”

“Y–yes.” That strange lump in your throat is back. “But I –”

“Stop. If you’re going to be done, then be done.” Andy interrupts again, scrubbing a tired hand over his face. “Baby Girl…I know what you’re doing. Even if you don’t, even if you can’t see it. I do. And I’m going to put a stop to it right now.”

“I’m just telling us both the truth!” You cry before you can catch yourself.

“No. You’re feeding us both lies. And I won’t stand for that shit. Not for another goddamned moment. I–I just won’t.”

The passion in his voice is enough to temporarily silence any forthcoming protests.

“And what’s more,” Andy forges on, “you’re not giving me even a shred of credit here. Which, and I’ve gotta be real honest with you here, kinda pisses me the fuck off.” Now it’s his turn to sigh, although this one is filled with exasperation.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, looking down at your toes.

“Look. At. Me.” The authority in his tone has your head snapping up immediately.

“Have I ever, and I do mean ever, in all the years we’ve been together, given you any indication that you are anything but beautiful to me?” He takes a step towards you, even as you take one back. “I quite literally worship the ground you walk on, sweetness. Which means that I occasionally notice things, even when you think I don’t.”

Your husband takes another step towards you, and then another. He’s getting closer, purposely crowding you with his big body – essentially trapping you like the predator that he was.

“There has never been a time, not once, when I have been less than hopelessly attracted to you. I want you all of the goddamned time. And, you know, maybe I should seek professional help for this shit, but I don’t want to. I don’t need to. Because I love my wife. I adore every single inch of you.”

You jump when your back collides with the refrigerator, the cool surface of the stainless steel appliance piercing your skin through the thin fabric of your robe.

“So what is it, Baby Girl? What is that you’ve got under there that’s got you so convinced I’m going to be disgusted by what I see.” Andy levels you with a pointed look as his hands go to gently grip your biceps, caging you in. “What is it you’re trying to hide from me?”

You close your eyes when it becomes too hard to look at the man you loved more than anything - the man who was surely about to become your undoing.

“While I appreciate your so-called brand of honesty, sometimes it hurts me when you talk about yourself like this. When you doubt yourself in this way. When you doubt me. Doubt us.” Andy briefly rests his forehead against yours before continuing.

“How am I supposed to help you battle these insecurities if you won’t even let me in the ring, sweetness? Sometimes you make it damn near impossible to – fuck!” He hisses, breaking the almost tender embrace before reminding himself to pause. “Okay.”

“I–I’m sorry, Andrew.” This time you don’t bother trying to fight back the tears when they come. Instead you decide to let them fall, realizing that it might finally be okay to let your husband catch you.

Before you broke completely and shattered into a hundred-million little pieces.

“Why on earth are you apologizing to me right now?” He cups your face with his hands as he brushes your tears away. “I’m not shaming you. I’m just…” He takes another calming breath. “I’m just talking to you. I thought we were expressing how we felt about things, weren’t we?”

“Yeah.” You give him a quick nod as more tears make their way down your cheeks.

“Okay.” He presses a sweet kiss to your nose. “Then will you trust me to show you something?” Again you nod before allowing him to lace his fingers through yours and pull you in the direction of the hall.

“Wh–where are we going?”

“Hush.”

He leads you down the hallway in silence, not stopping until you’re both standing in front of the full-length mirror located in the foyer. And then he reaches around to undo the knot on your robe, sliding it off your shoulders and letting it pool on the floor at your feet.

“Well, would you look at you? Is this pretty little thing what you bought for me today?”

“Mmhm.” You breathe, resting your head against his broad chest while your man looks his fill. Andy smooths his hands up and down your sides, lovingly kneading your ample curves. “It was the only thing that I felt, um…like it might be okay.”

“You’re fucking gorgeous, Baby Girl.” Andy playfully nips at your ear. “You still trust me? Okay, good. Then let’s take this off, too.” He reaches for the skirt of your lingerie.

“But why?” You whine, attempting to wiggle out of his hold. Unfortunately for you, your Big Man refuses to let you go. “Wait!”

“I think I’ve waited long enough.” Even though he’s pushing you, you can tell he’s also trying to keep a lid on his patience. “We both have. You got to make your case back there in the kitchen, young lady. Which means it’s now time for your Daddy to make his, don’t you think?”

While you weren’t quite sure where this was going, you also weren’t sure if you were ready to use your safe word yet. If that particular rule even applied right now.

“I – alright.” You concede before lifting your arms so that he can help remove the flimsy garment, leaving you naked and bare to his gaze. Goosebumps rise on your vulnerable flesh as you shiver, but it’s not from the cold.

Safe to say, catching a chill was the last thing on your mind. You just wanted to get this shit over with, whatever it was, and then move the fuck on already.

“Be a good girl and open your eyes for me, little love.” Andy purrs, lightly running his fingers through your curls. “I want to show you what I see every time I look at you.”

It takes you a moment, but eventually you’re able to do as you’re told. But instead of focusing on your own reflection, you choose to look at your husband – taking comfort in the warmth radiating from him.

You wanted to trust him. You really did.

“Thank you. Now, I want you to do your best to hear me.” Andy begins as his hands come up to rest themselves on your shoulders. “You are gorgeous no matter what size you are. And I am consistently awed by the fact that you, my darling wife, just gave birth to two healthy babies a little over eight weeks ago. My babies.” You receive a tender kiss to the back of your neck.

Your lower lip begins to tremble of its own accord. But this time you don’t look away, instead you follow the path of his fingers as they trail their way down your body.

“It’s because of you, and your magnificent little body, that I’m lucky enough to have four pieces of heaven running around this house, making noise and causing chaos. Giving me both a reason to live again along with a few new gray hairs at the same time.”

You watch as he lifts your breasts, hefting the erotic weight of them in his palms. He gently massages them, completely unfazed by the light dribble of milk leaking from your left nipple. Instead you’re treated to another roguish grin as his tongue darts out to greedily lap up the stray drops from his knuckles.

“Fucking delicious. But stop trying to distract me, baby.” He rasps, his tone just shy of teasing. “We both know you’re not quite ready for me to feast just yet.” And then he winks at you, which suddenly has your legs feeling like jelly.

Although you flinch when his focus shifts to your belly, the pads of his fingers tracing along one of your more prominent stretch marks. He keeps his touch light - bordering on reverent - as he marvels at the angry stripes painted across your skin.

The ones formed out of a natural bond built between a mother and her children.

“I love this part of you. This part right here where you – aw, no. Please don’t look away from me, honey.” Andy moves to kiss away a fresh wave of tears. “Let me see those eyes.”

“I…I...” Your mouth clamps shut as you stifle a hiccup. You grant yourself a couple of seconds before opening your eyes again. This time when you do, you gently place your hands on top of his. “I’m sorry. I know, you love this part of me because of the kids. And I get it, I do. But…” You shake your head and give up.

Because something tells you that perhaps you’d be better off just listening for right now.

“Yes, I absolutely love this part of you because of our rugrats, but that’s not the only reason. It’s because, as much as I adore your tight little pussy and that spankable ass of yours, your belly has always been it for me.”

“What?” Now that has your full attention.

“I’m not kidding.” He asserts. “I don’t think I’ve ever shared this with you, probably because I thought I’d run the risk of sounding dumb. But your belly has always been my favorite feature because it’s…it’s my anchor.”

Your husband’s heartfelt admission actually has the nerve to throw you for a bit of a loop.

“I’m serious.” Andy continues, leaning down to press a hard kiss to your cheek. “There’s something about whenever the world feels like it’s falling apart all around me and then I reach for you, because that’s what I do. And you’re always there for me, my love. Always.” He gives you a light squeeze. “And without fail, you just let me hold you like this, wherever we are. And I just…I feel better.”

“Swear to God, I’m a grown-ass man, but this part of you brings me so much comfort. I understand the fact that you struggle with accepting your body the way it is right now, especially after welcoming the twins. But please believe me when I tell you that where you only seem to see your flaws, I see strength. I see incomparable beauty.”

Andy takes that moment to fully envelope you, wrapping his arms tightly around your middle and burying his face in your hair. You allow yourself to stand there for a little while, drinking in the sight of your devoted husband holding your nude body.

You’ve never felt more loved. More cherished than you did right now.

“Andy Bear…” You whisper, your voice filled with emotion. “I…I don’t quite see what you see. Not yet. But I do think I feel it now. More than I did anyway.”

You let out a surprised yip when he spins you around. His intoxicating blue eyes bore into your own as his hands move to tease the globes of your ass.

“You should know that I wasn’t finished yet, princess. I just spent the last several minutes composing a sonnet dedicated to that greedy pussy of yours. Then there’s those luscious thighs, and that ass. I also never really had a thing for feet until I met you, but I’m particularly fond of those too. I’m prepared to wax poetic about it all because I want you to see what I see.”

A laugh bubbles up in your chest. And when you decide to let it loose, it’s quite literally the most wonderful feeling in the world. You feel lighter than you have in days.

It’s enough to make you start crying all over again.

“I love you, Andrew Barber.” You murmur, rising on your tiptoes to take his lips in a brief kiss. “And I know you had what I’m sure was one hell of a speech planned, and while I really hate to cut it short, I’m thinking I might wanna take you to bed now.”

“Oh?” His tone is rife with cautious optimism. “Is that right?”

“Yeah.” Giving in to impulse, you proceed to tickle his ears. He makes a show of batting your hands away as he playfully dodges your advances – much to your delight. Although he eventually puts an end to things by picking you up and holding you close.

“But can we maybe take it slow?” You ask as you snuggle into his chest, basking in the safety and security of his familiar scent.

“Of course.” Andy murmurs as he spins on his heel and heads towards the direction of the stairs. “We have all night, my precious girl.”

That was the moment you knew without a doubt. The moment you finally believed that everything he’d said, every word he’d spoken to you, had been nothing but the truth.

And later that night, when you collapsed on the bed feeling completely sated with one another, you thanked your lucky stars that fate had led you into the arms of the one and only Andrew Barber.

END

For more about Andy and Reader's first time making love after welcoming their twins, be sure to check out the sequel, The Green Light: Afterglow.

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 7 months

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Don't Speak 21

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, obsession, stalking, manipulation, reclusive behaviour, disordered eating, dissociation, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Reader is a reclusive loner who ventures down to the library on a simple mission. Her task is complicated by the man she meets there. (f!short!reader)

Character: librarian!Andy Barber

Note: Sickness be gone!

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you all. Take care. 💖

Dr. Kemp gave me this journal. I met him today. He’s a therapist. Or a psychologist? He’s a doctor and he’s going to help me.

I hope.

He told me to put my moods in here, to write about how I feel, and to set a small goal every day.

How I feel today: scared.

This morning was scary. We went to the doctor’s office and I didn’t know where we were going. I met Dr. Kemp and was less scared. Then we went to the mall and that was scary too. I tried on a short dress and that was scarier. Now we’re back at the house and I’m still afraid.

What if this doesn’t work either? What if I’m stuck this way forever? What if Dr. Kemp can’t help me?

A knock comes at the door and you tuck your new pen into the journal, closing it as you set it on top of your tablet. You put both on the nightstand as you call for Andy to enter. He inches open the door and pokes his head around.

“Hey,” he says, “I was just thinking, it’s been a long day. We can order in for the night?”

You shrug. You’re not very hungry. The large breakfast keeps your appetite at bay. Your anxiety helps as well.

“Um, that’s okay. I’m not very hungry.”

He sighs, his hand on the door. His fingers tap on the wood as he grips his hip, “you really shouldn’t skip meals. It’s not good for you.”

“I ate a lot this morning–”

“That was hours ago. You need to eat,” he insists, “I missed a week of work, honey, I can’t miss any more. I need you to start trying. Didn’t Dr. Kemp talk to you about this?”

You wince. He’s upset. You didn’t mean to make him angry.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, “I’ll, uh… take out sounds good.”

He lets the door fall all the way open. He crosses to the foot of the bed and touches the top of one of the shopping bags. You chew your cheek as you watch him.

“Are you gonna put all this away?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’ll do that now,” you get up.

He bought all those clothes, he took you to the doctor, on top of everything else. The least you can do is choke down a meal he’s also paying for. You go to the closet and open it up. You have two sweaters and a pair of jeans hung there. The rest of the hangers are empty.

“Chicken or beef?” He asks as he backs up.

“Hmm?” You look back at him with a handful of hangers.

“For dinner?”

“Oh, chicken,” you answer as you come back to the bed, “I’ll come down after I finish with all this.”

“Sure… uh, I could help,” he offers.

“No, I can do it,” you say, “that’ll be my small task today. Put this away and tidy up the room.”

He nods, both hands on his hips, “sounds like a good plan.”

You try to smile but your cheeks only twitch. You focus on taking out the clothes from the bag and looping them over the plastic hangers. He lingers and slowly slides out his phone. He turns on his heel and leaves you, thumbing at the screen with a hum.

You’re tired of letting everyone down. Amber, Andy, yourself. You’re not going to let Dr. Kemp down. You’re really going to try. You look over at the journal and take a deep breath.

They’re just pages, but you finally have someone to talk to. Someone you can tell everything. The paper can’t answer you but it can listen without judgment. And in the end, you can always crumple it all up and forget the words.

You get everything hung, folded, and some put aside for the wash. There’s a weight of dread in your feet. You don’t want to go downstairs, you’d rather stay up here and lay down. It’s been a long day and you’re exhausted.

You find Andy in the living room. You bring your tablet to quell your restless hands. You sit on the far end of the couch as he watches a ball game. You peel back the cover and take out the pen.

“Not a baseball fan?” He asks.

You pop your head up and look over at him. You shrug. You look at the screen as the umpire calls a strike.

“Don’t watch sports,” you answer.

“Ah, didn’t want to assume,” he leans forward, elbows on his arms as he presses his hands together, “we can watch something you like. I can catch the highlights tomorrow.”

“No, it’s okay,” you swipe the nib across the screen, “I like listening to this.”

You tuck your legs up and hunch over the tablet. You sense him watching you before he slowly leans back against the couch. You draw without thinking, a twisted elm tree with crows in the branches.

The commentators offer a steady soundtrack for your work. The crowd jeers then roars, swaying with the momentum of the game. You pick the perfect shadow of brow to add streaks to the trunk of the tree. You feel the couch shift but don’t look up. It isn’t until Andy’s right beside you that you tear your attention from your work.

He’s close. Very close. You sweat as heat radiates off of him. He stretches his arm behind you as he leans in to look at your drawing.

“Just a sketch,” you lower the pen.

“Pretty,” he says, “I’m not very artsy. Writing’s chicken scratch.”

You nod, “art is art. As long as you’re creating.”

“Pretty good way of looking at it,” he leans in closer, placing his hand on the corner of the tablet, “do you ever draw people?”

“Sometimes,” you answer, wilting at his proximity. He seems even bigger as he crowds you. You look up at the TV and drag the cover over the tablet, “why are they cheering?”

He lifts his head and exhales heavily. He retracts his arm from behind you and points with his other hand.

“Hitter just got a double and another player got home,” he says, “tied it up. If they can get another run, they’ll win. If not… well, another inning.”

“Oh,” you blink. You really don’t know much about baseball.

“We could go to a game, maybe, if you’re interested,” he offers, “they have great pretzels.”

“Maybe,” you keep your eyes on the TV, even as his head turns and he narrows in on you.

The heat between you becomes stolid. You have no space to turn over and you’re too afraid to stand up and go. You don’t want to upset him. He probably doesn’t realise how close he is. Plus, your personal bubble tends to be bigger than most.

The doorbell rings, breaking the tension, and drops his head as he grips his thighs. He stands with effort and you put aside your tablet. You listen as he answers the door and the crinkle of a paper bag underlines his exchange with the delivery driver.

He shuts the door and the smell of the take-out wafts in, stoking your hunger. You get up and meet him at the doorway, following him to the dining room. As he puts the bag down on the table, you wring your hands.

“Should I get plates?”

“Sure, sweetie,” he says as he rips past the staple in the fold of the bag, “that’d be great.”

🕊️

You can’t help but be relieved when Andy goes back to work. The house is still cold and lonely to you, but you’re happy to be alone. You set yourself a goal for each day; in the very least, you’ll make dinner, and when you feel up to it, you’ll do one other thing.

Monday, you spend most of the day painting. You make a decent amount of progress by the time Andy returns. You reheat leftovers for the night and make sure to tidy the kitchen.

Tuesday, you do the laundry. It feels like a great accomplishment as you sit and fold everything before Andy gets back. You leave his clothes on his bed. He’s pleased by your efforts and you are too.

Wednesday, you paint some more and vacuum the first floor. Thursday, you clean the bathroom, and Friday sees you so exhausted that you only do a quick sweep before starting supper. Each day, you record in your journal. Not just your tasks but your feelings; the pendulum between helpless and sad and proud swings back and forth throughout the week.

Saturday comes and you stay in bed late. You’re tempted to stay there and sleep all day until a knock sounds from the other side. You knew he wouldn’t let you.

“Dove,” he calls through, “you have an appointment at noon.”

“What?” you sit up and rush across the room. You crack the door open and peek out, “I didn’t know…”

“I mentioned it, didn’t I?” He asks.

He may have. Sometimes you forget things. You fight a frown and dip your chin.

“I’ll get ready, I’m sorry.”

“No problem. I’ll have breakfast waiting,” he looks through at you, his eyes searching, trying to see through the gloom. “Why don’t you wear some of your new clothes?”

“Oh, uh, sure,” you murmur, “thanks.”

You shut the door and watch the shadow underneath. He doesn’t go right away but when he does, you flip on the lights. You go to the closet and ponder the selection. It’s a bit overwhelming. The skirts and dresses.

You take out a pleated plaid skirt and a pumpkin coloured turtleneck. Andy didn’t particularly like it but he let you grab it anyway. You put it on with a pair of ribbed black tights. At least you’re covered up, even if it’s all a bit snug.

You go into the bathroom and get freshened up; brush your teeth, wash your face, put some moisturizer on. You’d started using more of the bottles piled into the basket. You feel bad just letting them go to waste.

You go downstairs, the smell of toast greeting you as you enter the kitchen. Andy looks over his shoulders and still the knife as he butters a slice. He turns to you fully and grins, “wow, you look… nice.”

“Oh, thanks, I…” you pull at the fabric across your stomach, “maybe I need a bigger size.”

“No, no, really,” he finishes scraping the butter across the hard bread, “you look really nice.” He grabs a plate and brings it to you as you stand by the island, “those tights look warm.”

“Um, yeah,” you look down, twisting one leg behind the other, “not really.”

He nods and clicks his tongue, “anyway, breakfast,” he hands you the plate, “enjoy.”

“Thanks,” you say as you take it, “er… are we going to see Dr. Kemp?”

“Uh huh,” he goes back to the counter and takes out another slice from the toaster, “you… you like him?”

“Sure,” you cradle the plate, slowly drifting to the door, “he’s nice.”

“Well, you know, you can always let me know if you don’t.”

“What?”

“Just… if he makes you uncomfortable or anything,” he shrugs, “you know I’m always here for you, dove.”

You don’t say anything else. You go into the dining room and set down your plate. You’re almost excited to go see Dr. Kemp. Strangely so. You can’t wait to tell him everything you did this week and talk about your new pens for your journal. It feels like you’ve actually made progress, for once in your life.

🕊️

You sit in the same chair as last time. Dr. Kemp stands by the window. His cool demeanour is a counterweight to your tense anxiety. You chew your fingertips as he turns and pace towards the wall. He stops and flicks on the electric kettle set on the polished console table.

“You like tea?” He asks.

“Um, yeah,” you clutch your hand into a fist and lay it on the armrest.

“Green? Black? I have Earl Gray,” he offers.

“Green is fine,” you wiggle your foot, the action drawing his gaze. His piercing blue eyes crawl up your legs and he considers you with calm calculation.

“New clothes?” He prompts.

“Y-yes,” you open your hand as you bend your arm, rubbing your neck.

“Hmm, cute. I liked that sweater you wore last time.”

“Oh, it was old,” you scratch along your hairline.

“It’s whatever you're comfortable in,” he says, “skirt’s nice but… I don’t know. Not quite you.”

You don’t comment. He’s not wrong. It’s too short and the pattern is cute but you find the fabric stiff. You bring your hand forward and tap your chin.

“So, did you have a good week?” He asks.

“I think… I did a lot. Exactly what you said,” you push your shoulders up, clasping your hands in your lap. He watches you intensely, not looking away as he listens. “I used the journal and uh, I made myself set goals. Erm, oh, I made dinner every night and I cleaned–”

“That’s great,” he turns and takes two mugs from the stacked tower of porcelain. He drops in the tea bags before he backs up. He crosses his arms, pacing around as he rubs his chin, “but what about things for you? Not cleaning or cooking. Those are chores. You should be doing things just for you.”

He leans on the side of the sofa. You squeeze your hands tight and teeter on the edge of the chair. Your chest sinks.

“Well, I… I guess I didn’t… I thought…”

“It’s okay, there’s no wrong answer here. But this week, I want you to focus on you. Do things for you. Treat yourself kindly,” he drops his arms and hooks his thumbs in the tops of his pockets, “you could do a face mask, have a bubble bath, or even just read a book you enjoy.”

“Oh, okay.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being nice to yourself. Self-love is important. If you don’t find worth in yourself, other people won’t either.”

“I’ll try,” you agree.

“That’s all you need to do,” he smiles as the kettle clicks off and he pivots on his heel. He pours the steaming water in the mugs and continues, “today, I think we should talk about your sister.”

“What?” You gulp.

“You mentioned her before. She seems to be a big part of your life,” he sets the kettle down, “I’d like to know more about her.”

You tuck your lip in and frown. You don’t know if you can talk about Amber. You’re still so confused about her. But what is all this for. To understand how you feel. And like he says, it’s all confidential.

“Amber… her name is Amber,” you eke out, “er…I don’t know where to start…”

“Take your time,” he coaxes, “we can take it slow.”

#andy barber #dark andy barber #dark!andy barber #andy barber x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #au #library au #don't speak #defending jacob

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xsapphirescrollsx · 1 year

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Bitch! Please write Demon Dr. Barber x plus size BLACK reader & Make it Nasty!!

Demon Dr Barbar x Plus Size Black Reader

@titty-teetee Deffo rusty, lol but I tried! I hope you like it <3

Andrew Barber, Andy for short and Doctor Barber to his patients, tossed the razor sharp edged blade to the wood floor of your bedroom. He watched your hip writhe under his grip as the rest of your underwear fell away. On his knees, his fingers delicately unfolding you, spreading you open as a bible to a theologian. Andy’s eyes burned with hate but his heart, if you could call that black void a caring center, filled with obsession.

He licked long, tasting what was now his, the bushy hair of his chin tickled your skin in the wake his tongue and you shuddered. His long fingers glided over the curvy lines of your hips, he pushed his face in harder to your core and pulled you closer as he sunk his tongue all the way in. An unexpected shriek from your throat hardened his dick. The tortured squirming, the hurting and yearning panted whimpering he caused you to express exploded pride in his chest.

Andy felt his eyes cloud, he wasn’t afraid but he knew you might be as he rose from between your thick legs. It was time, he decided. He was was glad of the dim light shade, but as the darkness swirled inside him it pulled away the golden hue illuminating the room. He watched you now, laying there your skin glowing under what might be described as moonlight. You opened your eyes looked toward him as Andy slowly descended over your body.

His legs between yours, spreading you further open, he felt the jump in your heartbeat as your eyes met his now completely blackened orbs. He smiled down at you while grabbing your wrists in anticipation that you might try and fight back.

“It’s time to pay your due,” his deep voice whispered.

He watched you blink once, twice, and struggle to understand what you were seeing. And like he knew you would you did try move from him. Andy held you there, his hips pushed forward. This was his favorite moment, your eyes widen as he invaded your will, your body.

Wicked. If demons could love this was it. Pouncing on the woman, you, that he wanted to possess body and soul Andy began to ensure that you took every inch of him. And when your mouth fell open in a silent scream he put his mouth over yours. His devilish forked tongue, surprisingly warm and wet slid in. He jerked your hands over your head, picked up his thrusting pace and kept taking your breath away with every rub of his tongue over yours. Consuming you and feeling you give over your will to only him Andy promised himself this one would be different.

This human woman would live. Even as ghostly wisps of black shadow descended over and with every breath you strived for started to feel as if your lifeforce was draining. Andy held back and waited.

Your pained moans turned to yearning whispers after every kiss. You cinched around him the shorter his strokes became. Faster, more driven thrusts had your body shaking until you reached the pleasurable end. But Andy kept going. Once again devoting himself to holding back his instinct to send you into a delicious anguishing experience for his pleasure. He allowed another desire to take root, one that usurped the will of his human mother. The one his angel father used to conquer a mortal womb.

Andy let go, pouring sinfulness into you and the room went black.

#Andy Barber #dark!Andy Barber #Black Reader #x black reader #x black!fem!reader #x black!reader #black!reader x dark!#black reader x dark!

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the-hottest-band-tournament · 1 month

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Band lineups

This will include all the band and what lineups have been submitted. It will be updated as more submissions come in. (Not complete at all)

Guns’N Roses: Axl Rose, Slash, Izzy Stradlin, Duff McKagan and Steven Adler

Mötley Crüe: Vince Neil, Mick Mars, Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee

Queen: Freddie Mercury, Brian May, John Deacon and Roger Taylor

Hanoi Rocks: Michael Monroe, Andy McCoy, Nasty Suicide, Razzle and Sami Yafta

Iron Maiden: Bruce Dickinson, Dave Murray, Adrian Smith, Steve Harris and Nicko McBrain

Poison: Bret Michaels, C.C. Deville, Bobby Dall and Rikki Rockett

Rush: Geddy Lee, Alex Lifeson and Neil Peart

Anthrax: Frank Bello, Joey Belladonna, Scott Ian, Charlie Benante and Dan Spitz

Possessed: Jeff Becerra, Mike Torrao, Larry LaLonde and Mike Sus

Bon Jovi: Jon Bon Jovi, David Bryan, Tico Torres, Alec John Such and Richie Sambora

Skid Row: Sebastian Bach, Dave Sabo, Scotti Hill, Rachel Bolan and Rob Affuso

Talking Heads: David Byrne, Chris Frantz, Tina Weymouth and Jerry Harrison

Warrant: Jani Lane, Joey Allen, Erik Turner, Steven Sweet and Jerry Dixon

The Cure: Robert Smith, Simon Gallup, Lol Tolhurst, Roger O'Donnell, Porl Thompson and Boris Williams

The Bangles: Susanna Hoffs, Vicki Peterson, Debbi Peterson and Michael Steele

Def Leppard: Rick Savage, Phil Collen, Steve Clark, Rick Allen and Joe Elliott

The Traveling Wilburys: Nelson Wilbury (George Harrison), Otis Wilbury (Jeff Lynne), Charlie T. Wilbury Jr (Tom Petty), Lefty Wilbury (Roy Orbison), Lucky Wilbury (Bob Dylan)

U2: Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jr.

Dokken: Don Dokken, Mick Brown, Jeff Pilsen and George Lynch

Blondie: Clem Burke, Jimmy Destri, Nigel Harrison, Deborah Harry, Frank Infante and Chris Stein

Duran Duran: Simon Le Bon, Nick Rhodes, John Taylor, Andy Taylor and Roger Taylor

Quiet Riot: Kevin DuBrow, Carlos Cavazo , Rudy Sarzo and Frankie Banali

Aerosmith: Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, Brad Whitford, Tom Hamilton and Joey Kramer

Dio: Ronnie James Dio, Vinny Appice, Jimmy Bain and Vivian Campbell

Metallica: James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett, Cliff Burton and Lars Ulrich

Winger: Kip Winger, Reb Beach, Paul Taylor and Rod Morgenstein

The Human League: Ian Burden, Philip Oakley, Susan Ann Sulley, Joanne Catherall, Jo Callis, Jim Russell and Philip Adrian Wright

The Clash: Joe Strummer, Mick Jones, Paul Simonon and Topper Headon

Cinderella: Tom Keiffer, Eric Brittingham, Jeff LeBar and Jim Drinec

Nirvana: Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic and Chad Channing

The Smiths: Morrissey, Johnny Marr, Andy Rourke and Mike Joyce

The Police: Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland

They Might Be Giants: John Linnell and John Flansburgh

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band: Bruce Springsteen, Clarence Clemons, Garry Tallent, Roy Bittan, Danny Federici, Max Weinberg, Nils Lofgren and Patti Scialfa

R.E.M.: Bill Berry, Peter Buck, Mike Mills and Michael Stipe

Spın̈al Tap: David St. Hubbins (Michael McKean), Nigel Tufnel (Christopher Guest), Smalls (Harry Shearer), Viv Savage (David Kaff) and Mick Shrimpton (Ric Parnell)

Tin Machine: David Bowie, Reeves Gabrels, Tony Fox Sales and Hunt Sales

Red Hot Chili Peppers: Anthony Kiedis, Flea, Chad Smith and John Frusciante

ZZ Top: Billy Gibbons, Dusty Hill and Frank Beard

AC/DC: Brian Johnson, Angus Young, Malcolm Young, Cliff Williams, Phil Rudd

Beastie Boys: Adam "Ad-Rock" Horovitz, Adam "MCA" Yauch and Michael "Mike D" Diamond

Depeche Mode: Dave Gahan, Martin Gore, Alan Wilder and Andy Fletcher

The Pogues: Shane MacGowan, James Fearnley, Jen Finer, Terry Woods, Peter “Spider” Stacy, Andrew Ranken, Darryl Hunt and Philip Chevron

Bauhaus: Peter Murphy, Daniel Ash, Kevin Haskins and David J

Prince and the Revolution: Prince, Bobby, Brown Mark, Wendy Melvoin, Lisa Coleman and Matt "Dr." Fink

Joy Division: Ian Curtis, Bernard Summer, Peter Hook and Stephen Morris

Fleetwood Mac: Lindsey Buckingham, Stevie Nicks, Christine McVie, John McVie and Mick Fleetwood

Devo: Gerald Casale, Mark Mothersbaugh, Bob "Bob 1" Mothersbaugh, Bob "Bob 2" Casale and Alan Myers

Van Halen: David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen, Michael Anthony and Alex Van Halen

Van Halen (Hagar era): Sammy Hagar, Eddie Van Halen, Michael Anthony and Alex Van Halen

Led Zeppelin: Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones and John Bonham

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Joan Jett, Ricky Byrd, Gary Ryan and Lee Crystal

Genesis: Tony Banks, Mike Rutherford and Phil Collins

Primus: Les Claypool, Larry "Ler" LaLonde and Tim "Herb" Alexander

Ramones: Joey Ramone, Johnny Ramone, Dee Dee Ramone and Marky Ramone

Yes: Jon Anderson, Trevor Rabin, Chris Squire, Tony Kaye andAlan White

Siouxsie and the Banshees: Siouxsie Soux, Steven Severin, Budgie and John McGeoch

Kraftwerk: Ralf Hütter, Florian Schneider and Karl Bartos

The Alan Parsons Project: Alan Parsons and Eric Woolfson

Hall and Oates: Daryl Hall and John Oates

Echo and the Bunnymen:Ian McCulloch, Will Sergeant, Les Pattinson and Pete De Freitas

Tears for Fears: Curt Smith, Roland Ozabal, Ian Stanley and Manny Elias

The Psychedelic Furs: Richard butler, Tim butler, John Ashton and Vince Ely

Misfits:Glenn Danzig, Doyle Wolfgang von Frankenstein, Jerry Only and Arthur Googy

Living Colour: Corey Glover, Vernon Reid, Muzz Skillings and Will Calhoun

XTC:Andy Partridge, Colin Moulding and Dave Gregory

Adam and the Ants: Adam Ant, Marco Pirroni, Merrick, Terry Lee Miall and Gary Tibbs

Run-DMC: Joseph "Run" Simmons, Darryl "D.M.C." McDaniels and Jam Master Jay

King Crimson: Adrian Belew, Robert Fripp, Tony Levin and Bill Bruford

Public Enemy: Chuck D, Flavor Flav, Terminator X, The Bomb Squad and Professor Griff

KISS: Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Eric Carr and Bruce Kulick

N.W.A.: Eazy-E, Ice Cube, MC Rend, Dr. Dre , DJ Yella and Arabian Prince

Whitesnake: David Coverdale, John Sykes, Neil Murray, Aynsley Dunbar and Don Airey

Black Sabbath: Ronnie James Dio, Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler and Bill Ward

Deep Purple: Ian Gillan, Ritchie Blackmore, John Lord, Roger Glover and Ian Paice

L.A. Guns: Phil Lewis, Tracii Guns, Mick Cripps, Kelly Nickels, Nickey Alexander and Steve Riley

W.A.S.P.: Blackie Lawless, Chris Holmes, Randy Piper and Tony Richards

The B-52’s: Kate Pierson, Cindy Wilson, Fred Schneider, Ricky Wilson and Keith Strickland

Vixen: Jan Kuehnemund, Janet Gardner, Share Ross and Roxy Petrucci

The Go Go’s: Belinda Carlisle, Jane Weidlin, Charlotte Caffey, Gina Schock and Kathy Valentine

The Residents: Hardy Fox, All other members have remained anonymous by choice, instead performing with masks on. There are four active Residents in live shows, though it is unknown how many have joined or left the group or been active at any given time.

Pretenders: Chrissie Hynde, Robbie McIntosh, Malcolm Foster and Martin Chamber

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers: Tom Petty, Mike Campbell, Benmont Tench, Howie Epstein and Stan Lynch

Asia: John Wetton, Geoff Downes, Steve Howe and Carl Palmer

Jethro Tull: Ian Anderson, Martin Barre, Doane Perry, Peter-John Vettese and Dave Pegg

Green Day: Billie Joe Armstrong, Mike Dirnt and John Kiffmeyer

Journey: Steve Perry, Neal Schon, Gregg Rolie, Ross Valory and Steve Smith

Wham!: George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley

Pet Shop Boys: Chris Lowe and Neil Tennant

The Who: Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, John Entwistle and Kenney Jones

Scorpions: Klaus Meine, Rudolf Schenker, Matthias Jabs, Francis Buchholz and Herman Rarebell

Heart: Ann Wilson, Nancy Wilson, Howard Leese, Mark Andes and Denny Carmassi

Ratt: Stephen Pearce, Robbin Crosby, Warren DeMartini, Bobby Blotzer and Juan Croucier

The Beach Boys: Mike Love, Al Jardine, Carl Wilson, Bruce Johnston and Brian Wilson

Queensrÿche: Geoff Tate, Michael Wilton, Chris DeGarmo, Eddie Jackson and Scott Rockenfield

The Cars:

Foreigner:

Marillion:

GWAR:

Max Webster:

Twisted Sister:

Stray Cats:

Megadeth:

The Stone Roses:

Slayer:

Operation Ivy:

Bam Bam:

Cybotron:

#80s bands #hottest 80s band tourney

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cozza-frenzy · 28 days

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The Alters Of The Magbox

Last updated March 31st 2024 - Total Headcount is 11 This post is mainly just for reference, but feel free to take a look if you've not met all of us yet, or are just curious.

Terry [Last Name Redacted] Pronouns: They/Them (Neos: Toon/Toons/Toonself, Fin/Fins/Finself) Species: Beyonder System Roles: Host, Conflict Resolution Likes: Seafood, fresh fruit, shirts that look like bowling alley carpet, electronic music Dislikes: Liver, cold and damp weather, getting "front stuck" Theme Song: Battle Scars - Paradise Fears Tag: #Shit Terry Says "I'll carry you home, no you're not alone, keep marching on, this is worth fighting for"

Chaos Loony Whackadoo Danger Crimefighter Gadget Stortion Pronouns: It/Its (Neos: Twist/Twists/Twistself, Spin/Spins/Spinself) Species: Cartoon Likes: Strawberries, rave music, dad jokes, causing problems on purpose, its partner (Len of The Panopticon) Dislikes: Silence, green vegetables, causing problems by accident Theme Song: Louder Than Words - Pink Floyd System Roles: Gatekeeper, Caregiver, Protector Tag: #Spiral Posting "It's louder than words, the sum of our parts The beat of our hearts is louder than words"

Taffy Brewer Pronouns: They/Them (Neos: Star/Stars/Starself, Crown/Crowns/Crownself) Species: Object Head Likes: Vegetarian curry, walking outside, plants and animals Dislikes: Meat, heavy rain, crowds and loud noises Theme Song: Down To Earth - Peter Gabriel System Roles: Self-Care, Caretaker, System Management Tag: #To The Stars "We're coming down to the ground To hear the birds sing in the trees And the land will be looked after We send the seeds out in the breeze"

(Art by our Partner System, @rinjak3 !) Martin Blackwood Pronouns: He/Him, They/Them Species: Beastkin Likes: Comfort food, tea and biscuits, pop music, drag shows, their partners (Jon and Jonny D'ville of The Panopticon) Dislikes: Body shaming, the smell of cigarettes, foggy days Theme Song: North - Sleeping At Last System Roles: Caregiver, Grief Holder, Emotional Regulator Tag: #Tea And Sympathy "Let the years we're here be kind, be kind Let our hearts, like doors, open wide, open wide Settle our bones like wood over time, over time Give us bread, give us salt, give us wine"

Vivien Blackwood Pronouns: They/Them (Neos: Paint/Paints/Paintself) Species: Cartoon Likes: Mint chocolate, authentic ramen, video games, animated movies & shows, making and appreciating art Dislikes: Physical contact without consent, being cold Theme Song: Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall - Coldplay System Roles: Creative Work, Caretaker Tag: #Beyond The Shadows

"So you can hurt, hurt me bad Still I'll raise the flag"

Andy Stortion Pronouns: Any/All (Undecided) Species: Beastkin Likes: Ice cream, french fries with ketchup, stickers, colored pencils, board games, asking questions Dislikes: Raised voices, being ignored, people in mascot suits Theme Song: Ready Now - Dodie System Roles: Trauma Holder Tag: (None yet - Andy is underage in-system, and doesn't post without supervision) "You said "I will listen, tell it all When you're finished we'll talk more" But I didn't know how, so we took it in turns To my surprise we found my words"

Dr. Roy Boss Pronouns: He/Him, It/Its (Neos: Dark/Darks/Darkself) Species: Cartoon Likes: Dark chocolate, BBQ Ribs, thunderstorms, heavy music, mad science Dislikes: Authority figures, bright lights, unfairness and injustice Theme Song: Get Up - Korn feat. Skrillex System Roles: Anger Holder, RSD Holder, Medical Advocate, In-System Medical Care Tag: #Boom Baby Boom

"I am clearly broken And no one knows what to do Pieces of the puzzle don't fit So I pound them into you"

Dagwood Hero Sandwich Pronouns: He/Him, It/Its Species: Cartoon Likes: Ice-cream sundaes, veggie dogs, making people laugh, story books Dislikes: Jokes that "punch down", violent media, swearing (for himself - he doesn't mind if others do) Theme Song: All You Need Is Love - The Beatles System Role(s): Mood Booster, Memory Keeper, System Management Tag: #Bring Me Sunshine "Nothing you can make that can't be made No one you can save that can't be saved Nothing you can do, but you can learn how to be you in time It's easy"

Jenova Destati Pronouns: She/Her, It/Its, (Neos: Fen/Fens/Fenself) Species: Divine Beast Likes: Salads, berries, being outside, peace and quiet Dislikes: Crowds, loud music Theme Song: Sweet Time - Porter Robinson System Role(s): Pain Management, Stress Management Tag: (None Yet) "To live, we're dying Why wouldn't we see our world as dark? But I won't spend time Resenting the way things are"

"Thirteen" (Real name & face withheld) Pronouns: He/Him, She/Her Species: Not Disclosed Likes: Social events, fine dining, "Dad Rock", her partner (Archivist Grian of The Panopticon), being shameless Dislikes: Alcohol, rainy days, gambling Theme Song: The Dying Light - Sam Fender System Role(s): Inner World Architect, Trauma Holder, Life Protector Tag: #Unlucky For Some "But I'm damned if I give up tonight I must repel the dying light"

"Roses" (Real name & face withheld) Pronouns: Any/All (Genderfluid) Species: Not Disclosed Likes: Karaoke, social events, cooking, sweet potatoes Dislikes: Alcohol, loud and grating noises, being outside after sunset Theme Song: Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John System Role(s): Social Advocate, Trauma Holder, Misophonia Holder Tag: #Restless Nights

"You know you can't hold me forever I didn't sign up with you I'm not a present for your friends to open This boy's too young to be singing the blues"

#Adventures in OSDD #The Magbox Idiot Box #Dissociative Identity Disorder #OSDD-1b System #Actually Dissociative #Endos DNI #Endos fuck off #Endo Supporters DNI

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sunnydalestudies · 1 year

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Wrestling with Whedon

Welcome, Scooby Gang!

When we discuss Buffy the Vampire Slayer, it’s impossible to ignore its creator, Joss Whedon. Once considered a nerd god, his fall from grace has stunned fans, leaving them just as heartbroken as those of the Harry Potter franchise. But let’s start from the beginning: who is Joss Whedon? Many consider Whedon the auteur of BtVS, a term used to denote “a film director who influences their films so much that they rank as their author” (OED); think here of Alfred Hitchcock. Although all of Whedon’s projects, including BtVS, were brought to life by an army of creatives, Whedon is still credited as the creator and sometimes writer and director, rendering his name and contributions inseparable from these projects.

Joss Whedon might be one of the worst nepotism babies of television writing, with his grandfather being a writer on shows such as The Andy Griffith Show and The Golden Girls being among his father’s projects. Growing up in New York City, Whedon lived a life of luxury, attending Winchester College, a British boarding school, and graduating from Wesleyan University in Connecticut. Although this all sounds like a peaceful and privileged life, Whedon has also come out to say that his parents “ran the home as though they were in the thick of” “a writers’-room battle” and that if he or his brothers “weren’t funny or entertaining or agreeing with them, they would cut [them] down or turn to stone” (Vulture). Because of his childhood experiences, Whedon says that “he suffers from complex post-traumatic-stress disorder” (Vulture); yet, despite not wanting to discredit his trauma, I don’t believe that this excuses him for how he went on to treat others in his life.

In the 1990s and 2000s, Whedon’s career steadily grew and his cult following of fans with it. With projects such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992, 1997-2003), Angel (1999-2004), Toy Story (1995), Alien Resurrection (1997), Firefly (2002), Serenity (2005), Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog (2008), and Dollhouse (2009-10), Joss Whedon became a god and a king among nerds and the comic-book artist Scott R. Kurtz even designed a highly successful shirt in 2005 that read “Joss Whedon is my Master Now.” Even within the workplace, “a sort of cult of personality formed around Whedon” where “the standard reaction to Joss was worship” (Vulture). During this time, many of Whedon’s projects did not succeed to the extent that many believed they should have, beginning with the “painful” interpretation of his vision for the original BtVS movie, as Kai Cole, his ex-wife, put it (The Wrap), and continuing through to the mishandling and cancellation of Firefly. As a Vice article puts it:

“The culture of liking Joss Whedon was at this point already about defending him from various enemies—networks who canceled his shows, actors who he claimed said his lines incorrectly, or improvised too much. [...] His success was a symbol of success for liberal nerds everywhere, a sign that comic books and genre fiction could be taken seriously by the world at large. If you were wrapped up in that fandom, any criticism of Whedon became an attack on everything that nerds love, and it’s a dynamic that doesn’t exist only in the past tense.” (Vice)

This passionate and often obsessive fanbase aided Whedon’s breakthrough into mainstream culture in the early 2010s, when, within a single year, Whedon released three very different yet successful projects: The Cabin in the Woods (2012), a horror movie satire, Much Ado About Nothing (2012) a black and white DIY production of a Shakespeare classic, and The Avengers (2012), the renowned Marvel superheroes film. This year marked the height of Whedon’s career, with his following projects slowly marking his downfall.

In 2015, with the release of The Avengers: Age of Ultron, Whedon encountered his first backlash and the first indications of flaws in his feminism. Viewers labelled the film as sexist because of a scene where Black Widow claims to be monstrous since she cannot bear children. Two years later, in 2017, Whedon’s scrapped 2006 Wonder Woman script leaked, and those who read it once again saw his portrayal of female superheroes as sexist, this time regarding his script as a nerd’s wet dream. Later that same year, Kai Cole, Whedon’s ex-wife, released a public statement about her relationship with Whedon and revealed his numerous affairs and over a decade of lying. In this article, Cole explains that they met in 1991 and were married for over twenty years before separating. In this time, spanning the most successful years of Whedon’s career, Kai Cole says: “I loved him. And in return, he lied to me. A lot” (The Wrap). Cole believes that “he used his relationship with [her] as a shield [...] so no one would question his relationships with other women or scrutinize his writing as anything other than feminist” (The Wrap). Whedon even did the opposite and used his feminist reputation as a defence in his marriage when Cole was at times “uncomfortable with the attention Joss paid other women” (The Wrap). She elaborates that “he always had a lot of female friends, but he told me it was because his mother raised him as a feminist, so he just liked women better. He said he admired and respected females, he didn’t lust after them. I believed him and trusted him” (The Wrap). Sadly, Whedon’s later projects—and even earlier projects, although viewers did not notice it—revealed that he did not solely admire and respect strong female characters but sexualized them for his own satisfaction.

Whedon’s reputation as a feminist was so strong that he had even previously received awards for his feminist efforts, notably when “Equality Now gave him an award in 2006—presented by Meryl Streep—for his efforts as a male feminist” (Vice). Cole wanted to correct this vision of Whedon, who, as she says, “never conceded the hypocrisy of being out in the world preaching feminist ideals, while at the same time, taking away [her] right to make choices for [her] life and [her] body based on the truth” (The Wrap). In the end, Cole only desired to warn against the previously normalized worship of her ex-husband and explained, “I want to let women know that he is not who he pretends to be. I want the people who worship him to know he is human, and the organizations giving him awards for his feminist work, to think twice in the future about honouring a man who does not practice what he preaches” (The Wrap). Cole’s statement was the fandom’s wake-up call, but many continued worshiping Whedon, simply acknowledging that he was human and made mistakes. At this point, all we knew was that he cheated on his wife—it was sad, but it was not anything out of the ordinary for celebrities and the average person alike.

Over the years, more women have come forward to share their experiences with romantic or sexual relationships with Joss Whedon. In Cole’s article, she says that Whedon had his first affair on the set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and years later, after coming clean about this, he told her, “I was surrounded by beautiful, needy, aggressive young women. It felt like I had a disease, like something from a Greek myth. Suddenly I am a powerful producer and the world is laid out at my feet and I can’t touch it” (The Wrap). Whedon has used this feeling of helplessness as an excuse for his mistreatment of the women of BtVS numerous times, explaining elsewhere that “he had felt he ‘had’ to sleep with them, that he was ‘powerless’ to resist” (Vulture). If this reminds you of rapists blaming their actions on their victims’ clothing, professions, or behaviours, saying they couldn’t control themselves, you’re not the only one. Even as a younger man at university, “he admired strong women like his mother, yet he’d discovered he was capable of hurting them, ‘usually by sleeping with them and ghosting or whatever’” (Vulture). In the accounts from women who dated Whedon after his marriage ended, “he was not the hero they had read about in the press, the one who wanted to see women in control; he was more like the cold-blooded men he depicted in his work” (Vulture), and the Whedon at Wesleyan sounds a lot like Parker Abrams from early season four, or even Angel right after he lost his soul. Since his marriage ended, Whedon has sought treatment for a love and sex addiction, a path also taken by celebrities such as “James Franco, Kevin Spacey, and Harvey Weinstein” (Vulture). If Vulture’s article was more recent, I am sure Kanye West would also be on that list. Additionally, celebrities such as Russell Brand, David Duchovny, Tiger Woods, and Rob Lowe have also sought treatment for the same addiction, with many of these celebrities only doing so in response to a cheating scandal. Whether Whedon has healed and grown in this regard is unbeknownst to us, but many before him paved this path to redemption in the media’s eyes.

The same year as Cole’s statement, Justice League (2017) came to theatres, which Whedon later labelled as “one of the biggest regrets of his life” and would contribute considerably to his downfall (Vulture). The original director of the film was Zach Snyder, who had his own group of devoted and worshiping fans, but he had to drop the project to be with his family after his daughter committed suicide, so Whedon took over the post-production duties. Whedon did more than oversee the final touches, though, and instead made drastic changes to the film. After viewers were disappointed by Whedon’s version, they demanded to see Snyder’s, which the studio released in 2021; yet, before its release in 2020, the cast began speaking out about their experiences with Whedon. What precipitated the avalanche of testimonies regarding Whedon’s workplace behaviour was a July 2020 tweet by Ray Fisher saying that “Joss Whedon’s on-set treatment of the cast and crew of Justice League was gross, abusive, unprofessional, and completely unacceptable.” Following Fisher’s statement, allegations of racist treatment of the actor and character surfaced, and other actors came forward with their experiences. Suddenly, the fans who worshiped Snyder were attacking Whedon online, and those who previously worshipped Whedon weren’t sure what to do. Allegations of Whedon abusing his power continued to emerge over the next few months, but what put the nail in the coffin holding Whedon’s reputation happened in 2021 when Charisma Carpenter went to Twitter to rehash her experiences with Whedon on the set of Angel. This was not the first time she had discussed his “casually cruel” behaviour or her wrongful dismissal; in fact, “the actress has been talking about it with fans and reporters for more than a decade” (Vulture), but it was nonetheless the final straw. By the time the first half-season of The Nevers (2021) premiered on HBO, promising Whedon’s return to television, Joss Whedon had already stepped down as the showrunner, and the marketing did not acknowledge his involvement. In the year and a half since its airing, HBO has cancelled the show and removed the already aired episodes from their library—HBO, at the very least, is treating Whedon to the full cancellation treatment, and we will see who follows suit.

But what does this all mean to the fandom and scholars? In truth, no one is sure, but they have been asking just that for the past two years. Since so many people around the world love BtVS so much and yet are so deeply disappointed in what has come to light about Whedon, many people have decided to divorce the art from the artist, completely ignoring Whedon’s role in its production, or they have erased BtVS from their lives. These are both flawed responses. The first response, where people have separated the art from the artist, neglects the richness of potential scholarship or understanding that becomes available by analyzing BtVS alongside what we now know about Whedon. As one article explains, “the belief that [Buffy’s] story was something other than a projection of his psyche is ultimately just another fantasy. Whedon did understand pain — his own. Some of that pain, as he once put it to me, ‘spilled over’ into the people around him. And some of it was channeled into his art” (Vulture). There is new and rich nuance to BtVS that fans and scholars alike should not ignore. The second response ignores the contributions of everyone else who worked on the show; it feels inappropriate to disregard the effort of these writers, producers, directors, makeup artists, costume designers, set designers, actors, and the list goes on, especially if they continued to contribute to a project they saw the merits in despite the work environment being less than ideal or even toxic and abusive. If they endured Whedon’s cruelty during BtVS’ production, then we should acknowledge and be thankful for their work rather than dismiss it because of their boss’ wrongdoings.

After all, BtVS now belongs to the fans and scholars who have made it what it is, and although people throw this sentiment around, it is grounded in literary theory, that being Roland Barthes’ ‘Death of the Author’ essay from 1967. In this essay, Barthes puts forth that we, as fans and scholars, should not study a work in tandem with its author and that an author does not exist in the way we think of it. It’s a complicated essay, so let’s pick out some pieces that help us understand BtVS and Whedon. Barthes makes two foundational statements about authorship: “writing is the destruction of every voice, every origin. […] this gap appears, the voice loses its origin, the author enters into his own death, writing begins,” and “the text is a fabric of quotations, resulting from a thousand sources of culture. […] the writer can only imitate an ever anterior, never original gesture.” According to Barthes, the author does not create anything new but instead translates, borrows, and recontextualizes what already exists; further, he is not doing so with his own voice, but he is merely the medium through which these previous sources move—the author dies as the work is born. Relating this to BtVS, we must remind ourselves of what the writers claimed to be their inspirations, but also what we see within the series since the show as a whole may appear new despite everything within it has previously existed and carries meaning with it. All those pop culture references that the show makes seem inconsequential but may be much more significant than we previously understood since the significance behind these references impacts the meaning of BtVS.

BtVS’ authorship is further complicated when we consider Barthes’ assertions that “to assign an Author to a text is to impose a brake on it, to furnish it with a final signified, to close writing. […] once the Author is found, the text is ‘explained.’” Although I just explained how I believe that we should acknowledge Whedon’s influence on BtVS, I want to emphasize that we will never truly understand the collective authorship of BtVS since so many talented writers were in the writing room, many individuals worked on the project, and even the viewers were able to impact the show’s development. Finally, Barthes makes the point that art belongs to the fans, saying that “the unity of a text is not in its origin but in its destination,” and I understand this to mean that the meaning of art is not decided by the author or writer but by the reader or watcher, and gives them what they need from it. Each BtVS viewer came to the show from a different place, and yet so many people found something special in it which spoke to them, and the writers may claim to have meant these things or not, but the meaning, or “unity of a text,” is not dictated by the writers, but by the fans, the “destination.”

Joss Whedon may have written the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer script thirty years ago, and the show may have concluded twenty years ago, but BtVS never truly belonged to Whedon. BtVS has always belonged to the viewers, fans, and scholars, so although Whedon’s actions have added complications to the series and how people now enjoy it, they should not stop anyone’s enjoyment of it.

That’s that for this Sunnydale study session!

Liz

TL;DR: Whedon sucks and I recommend you read these articles:

https://www.vulture.com/article/joss-whedon-allegations.html

https://www.thewrap.com/joss-whedon-feminist-hypocrite-infidelity-affairs-ex-wife-kai-cole-says/

https://www.vice.com/en/article/v7d34y/when-joss-whedon-was-our-master

#buffy the vampire slayer #buffy summers #btvs #buffy #buffystudies #joss whedon #whedonverse

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filmfirecr4cker · 7 months

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twin peaks notes!!!

okay so these are all my notes and thoughts on the pilot and the first episode :3 enjoy.

pilot:

“it (the story) encompasses the all. it is beyond the fire, though few would know that meaning”

“laura is the one”

god josie is actually so beautiful

sarah's paranoid has everyone caught off guard. i wonder if she knows something we dont

i love the choice they made having pete’s pov of finding laura be shot handheld. it makes it so much more off-putting and found-footagey

I LOVE LUCY SHES SO CUTE

sheriff harry truman you are so beautiful to me <3

poor andy :(

the shot of the palmer’s stairwell is so off-putting i love it

AUDREYYYYY god shes so cunty

the way leland holds onto harry’s jacket was such a good character choice

goddd shelly is so gorgeous

all the ladies are so beautiful lets be real

shelly and bobby are linking

bobby and laura were dating

laura was 17 when she died

i like the detail of aurdey changing from her oxfords to red heels when she gets to school

james’s goofy ass haircut.. like girl whatever

the last time mrs. palmer saw laura was 9pm

she had just come from bobby’s

laura’s phone rang sometime that night

the wide shot of the pulaski girl walking across the bridge is so fucking good

james said “laura was the one” which is probably referencing the fact that she was the one for him but its also an echo of the log lady said in the intro as well sooo

AHHHHHHHHHH SPECIAL AGENT DALE COOPER FBI MY POOKIE BUTTTTTTTT

oh my god i love him so so much actually

i like how harry and coop meet at the end of the hallway and walk towards the camera and then the camera starts moving with them

coop is actually so funny i love him. him and his trees

you can tell harry fell for him right when he asked about the firs BWHAHAHA

while they were in the elevator, there was a man with one arm

ronette repeated “dont go there”

laura was dr jacoby’s patient

laura’s parents didn’t know she was seeing him.. i wonder why?

i dont know if this was intentional or not but while dr. jacoby was talking to coop and harry, he was touching the hula girl on his tie under her skirt. idk i just noticed it and it weirded me out. fucking freak

laura had a letter "r" under her nail on her ring finger. it seems like the killer is leaving a clue maybe??

apparently this is something coop has seen before

snake and donna are dating

laura’s last diary entry was “asparagus for dinner again. i hate asparagus. does this mean ill never grow up? nervous about meeting j tonight.”

i love how lynch creates the atmosphere of twin peaks. it feels wet and cold

“tell harry i didn’t cry.” oh andyyyyyy he’s so sweet. poor thing

the video tape of donna and laura is so cute

coop is so good at his job. thats my man

“you didn’t love her anyway” YEAH GET HIS ASS GET HIM

audrey loves to cause problems on purpose and i support her

snake and that gayass pose he does up against the wall

laura was cheating on bobby with james

donna definitely had feelings for laura and she fell into the trap of being in love with her best friend then hooking up with the boy she was with to feel close to her “i wanna kiss his lips bc they taste like you” kind of vibe yk?

love all the shots of the woods

did ronette escape or was she let go?

the found laura’s half heart necklace and a note that says “fire walk with me” written in blood

james has the other half

in the deposit box they found a flesh world magazine with ronette’s picture circled inside it and about $10,000 cash

and there’s a pic of leo’s truck in the mag as well

leo is shelly’s abusive ugly fucking husband. i hope he dies

shelly is cheating on him with bobby

the actor that plays leo is so bad LMAOOO

the snowshoe rabbit :((((

coop is so fascinated by the flora and fauna of twin peaks and i love how he tells harry all about it (asking him questions and stuff). its so sweet

andrew packard was josie’s late husband who died in a boating accident a little over a year prior and he was katherine's brother. josie ended up inheriting everything that katherine would have so i guess that explains why she has a stick up her ass...

log lady is here!!! love her

harry and coop are literally “me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic” LMAOOOO

i love harry sm. he's always looking out for everyone; hes such a good sheriff <3

teresa banks was the case that coop had mentioned earlier that made him think that laura’s death was connected somehow

donna’s sister harriet is so cute. her being a poet and everything

bobby is so annoying smhhhh

“oh we’ll find her. dont you worry about that.” now why would you say it like that TO HER DAD YOU FREAK oh my god boys are so fucking stupid and creepy

i wonder why snake and bobby are called “mutt” and “jeff” by joey and scotty????

ed and norma are having an affair and it seems like they’ve had feelings for each other for a while

norma’s husband is in jail for manslaughter (yikes bitch)

oh coop is whittling i love him :((

HIS LITTLE THUMBS UP GOD

he’s by best friend guys like actually

“you think they spotted us?” “gimme a donut.” LMAOOOOO LIKE???

laura was wrapped up in some fucked up stuff apparently

“i knew her more that she thought i did.” ughhhhhhhhh kms

bobby killed somebody!!

OOOOO THEY KISSED DONNA AND JAMES KISSED!! god it kinda was gross like they were literally eating each other’s faces BWHAHHA

they buried their half of the necklace

bobby is such a punk bitch

OH MY GOD WHY DOES HE HAVE THOSE FUCKING CRAZY EYES DAMN

james looks like a cornered dog

awww doc hayward and donna’s relationship is so sweet smhhh

lucy is such an angel with her little donut buffet

EWWWWWWW WHY ARE THEY (snake and bobby) BARKING FUCKING TWEAKERS GODDAMN?!??!??!

josie and harry are so so cuteeeeeeee i love them

harry literally pulled the baddest bitches in the entire show

katherine is plotting evilly in her armchair WITH MR HORNE

god i love how foreboding the shot of the palmers stairwell is

someone found the necklace donna and james buried and it looks like mrs. palmer had a vision about that or something??

lots of cheaters in this town LMAOOO

"it's beyond the fire" and "fire walk with me" what is the fire???

episode 1:

“behind all things are reasons. reasons can even explain the absurd.”

HIS ASS IS UPSIDE DOWN LMAOOO

his fucking sock garters COME ON

“diane, it struck me again earlier this morning. there are two things that continue to trouble me and im speaking now not only as an agent of the bureau but also as a human being. what really went on between marilyn monroe and the kennedys? and who really pulled the trigger on jfk?” LIKE BITCH!!! I HATE HIM (affectionately)

coop is so real for being transfixed with audrey bc me too

laura tutored audrey’s brother johnny

johnny is said to have “emotional problems” bc he’s 27 and in the third grade. im assuming its some mental disability

audrey said that “emotional problems” run in the family

audrey you are so strange girl. love you tho

i love how everybody in the station has donuts in their mouths LMAOOOO

i also love how coop says "three for three" after he sees andy, lucy, and harry all eating donuts

laura’s cause of death was blood loss

leo has a big old blood stain on one of his shirts :0

EW YOU FREAK LET GO OF HER GOD

his nasty ass ponytail fucking barf

laura was doing cocaine

james has been the only one who seems to have been the most honest whilst being interrogated (yk excluding the part about the locket)

laura, bobby, and snake have been in cahoots with leo. im guessing it has to do with drugs

laura’s video played again and it stopped on a frame of her face and her voice whispered “help me”

big ed is james’s uncle

harry knows about ed and norma

someone drugged ed at the roadhouse

coop has some of his FBI guys coming down to examine laura’s body

ed gave a little gesture to hawk when he returned james back to him, which hawk mirrored back to him. they seem to be touching the side of their eyes/temples? and wiping down, like a tear maybe??? what’s up with that?

james’s mom is out of town

HEHEHHEHE HARRY CALLING THEM SHERLOCK AND WATSON

pete and josie have a sweet relationship too :((

pete kind of reminds me of my dad a little bit

laura helped josie with her english

she aid that the last time she saw laura, she was upset about something but they didn’t talk about it. laura then told josie “i think i now understand how you feel about your husbands death.” whatever that means

katherine is such a cunt i hate her so much

of course cooper would know what shenanigans means

katherine is cheating on pete with benjamin horne. gross.

she and mr. horne are trying to bankrupt the mill. he also suggests that they burn it down

EWWWWW OH MY GOD HES KISSING/SUCKING HER TOESSSSS NOOOOOOOOO

so donna went over to the palmer’s house, and sarah suddenly hallucinated and thought donna was laura. then she saw a creepy guy crouching and looking up at her from a bed? and promptly started freaking out

rosette worked at the horne’s department store as a salesgirl at the perfume counter and joked it was “the sweet job she ever had”

the one armed man is back!!!

“laura died two days ago. i lost you years ago.” mr. horne said this to audrey and it gives us some insight into their relationship (i hope they elaborate on this more in the future)

okay so it looks like bobby comes from a religious and military home

his father is def the dominant head of the family. he has a strong presence and his wife seems to be more meek compared to him. very “good christian wife” core. thats not a dig at her, she seems sweet enough, but when general briggs slaps bobby for putting a cigarette in his mouth at dinner, she does nothing about it

laura helped norma with the “meals on wheels program” that laura helped organize. she really does seem like such a golden child

the log apparently saw something the night laura died

god, the way shelly’s face dropped when leo asked about his shirt gave me chills

laura recorded tapes for dr. jacoby

“i just know im gonna get lost in those woods again tonight. i just know it.” (laura on one of her tapes)

she also mentioned a “mystery man”. i wonder if its the creepy guy sarah hallucinated or something

ohhhhh so it was dr. jacoby who found the other half of the necklace

#thats all for today!!#very excited to continue my viewing #twin peaks #laura palmer #special agent dale cooper #sheriff harry truman

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