#FUCK. IM SO UNWELL ABOUT ARTHUR LESTER.

[thermodynamic-comedian]

arthur and john's relationship is built on codependence and working together because there's no other choice, but it's also a lot about arthur projecting onto john. arthur considers himself a failure as a person, but now he has a chance to prove that someone evil can actively choose to be better. he believes that if john can be saved, so can he. if john can be redeemed, so can he. that's why he tries, at every possible turn, to push john to be better. that's also why, whenever john takes a few steps back in progress, it has such an intense effect on arthur. because he wants to save john.

because if he can save john, he'll finally have proven to himself that he can be saved too.

#idk this might be nothing #arthur lester as a character just. really resonates with me in a way no other protagonist ever has lol #he drags himself around like a corpse. #you've heard of characters that live in hells of their own making #but arthur lester lives in a purgatory of his own making #constantly pulling himself upwards even as the weight of his mistakes keep dragging him down #he lives because he believes he does not deserve the peace of death #nor the forgiveness of the universe #hope is all he has. hope and endurence and sheer will to make himself pay for his mistakes. #that's why he is the way he is. moving forward despite everything because what's behind is too painful to face. #...and he has miles to go before he sleeps. #FUCK. IM SO UNWELL ABOUT ARTHUR LESTER. #malevolent podcast #malevolent #malevpod #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #john doe #john malevolent