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creacherkeeper · 5 years

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Familiar Weight

If Aziraphale didn't want a relationship with him, well that was fine, really it was, Crowley could deal with that. He would mope, it's what he did. But he'd get over it, as he had in the past, and they'd continue on with their friendship as they always had.

He just ... needed some time. Because it was fine, but it also hurt, and he needed to sit with that alone.

'Alone' being the key word. Which can't exactly be accomplished by Aziraphale turning up at his doorstep with a fluffy blanket and ice cream and a horribly out-of-date VHS copy of The Princess Bride.

some angst, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, & friendship

~4000 words

read on AO3

Moping wasn’t technically one of the seven sins, but Crowley could do it better than anyone. He didn’t need demonic intervention to get that sense of deep existential angst one feels when one is heartbroken. If he could’ve gotten a commendation for “best at feeling absolutely anguished and doing nothing productive about it”, he would’ve applied ages ago. Or … at least before all this. Before the Apocalypse that wasn’t.

He didn’t think he’d be getting any sort of commendations now. He was no longer on Downstairs’ “worst in the best way” list. Just the worst. Bottom of the barrel.

He rolled over in bed, using a minor miracle to fill up his glass on the nightstand with water, specifically so he could not drink it. Just so the water felt ignored. His body was physical, no matter his state of immortality, and lying in bed for days on end had left him with aches and pains. His wings were out so they could become messed and ruffled and tangled in the sheets. He was doing a very good job of this moping business, he thought. It was a shame no one was around to witness it. If a tree falls in the forest, and all that.

Of course, just to add to the irony of the thought, that’s when he heard a knock on the door. He was used to missionaries coming knocking—he encouraged it, actually. He loved inviting them in and leading the conversation in circles until they left feeling confused and dismayed.

He wasn’t up for it today, though. He didn’t want the satisfying thrill of the minor inconveniences he could cause. He didn’t want any sort of thrill at all. He rather did just want to be glum, with an upset feeling in the pit of his stomach.

His fingers waved, and the raving bark of large dogs sounded by the entrance—snarling and snapping of foaming jowls.

Even from his bedroom, he could hear the sigh.

“You don’t have dogs, Crowley. I’d like to come in now.”

Crowley sat up, heart beating an uncomfortable thud. Aziraphale was at once the last person on the Earth he wanted to talk to right now (minus all the other celestial creatures who might be out and about) and the only person he desperately craved to see. Once they’d gotten past the initial high of saving the world and saving each other, things had gotten … awkward. Strained. At least on Crowley’s end, they had. Aziraphale didn’t seem to have gotten the memo.

“Go away, angel,” Crowley grumbled, knowing his muffled voice would carry perfectly well to the angel’s ears. “I’m sick.”

Aziraphale scoffed. “You are not.”

“I am,” he protested. “Horrible demon flu. Coughing up frogs and all that.”

The door unlocked, and in the few seconds before it was opened, Crowley had half a mind to lock him back out. It was a battle of wills at that point, and Crowley didn’t have it in him to put up much of a fight.

“I’m coming in,” Aziraphale said, unnecessarily.

Crowley sighed to himself, as dramatic as he could, and pulled his blanket back around his shoulders. He shuffled into the open doorway, facing Aziraphale as he shut the front door and turned.

“Oh,” Aziraphale said. “Your wings look terrible. Maybe you really are sick.”

“What do you want?” Crowley croaked.

Aziraphale flashed him a strained smile. “Well, you hadn’t returned my calls. Bit worried Downstairs had gotten you after all. But it seems, uh …” He gave a little wave at the mussed wings and the blanket. “You’ve been keeping yourself occupied.”

Crowley swallowed, not deigning to comment.

“That’s quite alright, though,” Aziraphale continued. “I’ve brought supplies for just the occasion.”

And he tapped on the briefcase he’d held by his side, and crossed into the living room.

“Supplies?” Crowley muttered. His head tipped back and forth while he wondered if it was worth it. His chest already felt lighter, even as his stomach turned to knots, and frankly, he’d rather go back to the achy, empty feeling of a few minutes ago. He was quite good at that feeling. He’d taken 6,000 years to master it. “Ugh, blast him,” he finally growled, and followed.

Aziraphale was standing and waiting for him, hands crossed, smiling pleasantly when the demon joined him. The briefcase was sat on the coffee table, unopened.

Crowley eyed it with suspicion. “Scotch?” he asked.

“Not quite.” He leaned down to click the latches open, clearly taking his time. “You know, for a demon, you’re quite bad at indulging yourself.”

“Bad at a lot of things,” Crowley shot back, and Aziraphale’s eyes glanced to his for only a second.

“But, no matter,” he continued, as if the comment hadn’t been made, “for I’ve brought just the things.”

Crowley didn’t want to be curious. He didn’t even want Aziraphale to be here. He didn’t want anything except a restless sleep and perhaps some sporadically noisy neighbors. Just to really make the experience worthwhile.

But, he was. Heaven be damned, he was.

He crossed over to examine the objects Aziraphale was pulling out of the briefcase. A thick, knit blanket. Some mugs. A pack of cocoa. A few cartons of ice cream—cookie dough flavor—still frozen. Some very fuzzy socks. And a copy of The Princess Bride, on VHS of all things.

“It’s a miracle that all fit in there,” Crowley muttered, and Aziraphale shot him a smile.

“What, are you going to tattle on me?”

The “maybe I will” was on the tip of his tongue, but in his mind’s eye he could feel the hot sting of hellfire, and Gabriel’s grimace of a smile, and he let the comment die.

Aziraphale shook out the blanket, lying it on the leather couch.

“Where are your spoons?” he asked, moving into the open kitchen, and then proceeded to open the exact right drawer.

“Aziraphale—”

“Ah,” he said, grinning. “I found them.”

He returned with two spoons, and set them down next to the ice cream as he picked up the VHS.

The TV, Crowley thought with a tinge of bittersweet victory, had no port for it.

“Hm. This won’t do,” the angel muttered to himself. He held up the VHS, one hand to his lips as he thought, and then just … pushed it into the TV screen. Crowley opened his mouth to protest, but the TV clicked on obediently, and the advertisements began to play. His mouth clamped shut.

Aziraphale moved back over to him, where Crowley was standing dumbly by the coffee table.

“Well? Sit.”

He waved to the couch. Crowley did nothing but stare.

“I didn’t bring any, um … ‘Snuggies’. Those were one of yours, weren’t they? I thought that might be pushing it.”

Crowley could feel his days without drinking in the dryness of his tongue. He struggled to swallow, closing his eyes for a moment. He wished he had his glasses, but didn’t feel like using the energy to call up a pair.

“Aziraphale …” he finally managed. Aziraphale stared at him patiently. “What are you doing?”

It looked like it took an effort for the smile to cross Aziraphale’s face. Perhaps the angel had finally gotten the memo on the ‘strained and awkward’ thing.

“Well,” he started, “usually when you disappear like this, it’s because you’re moping over something. But you’re rather terrible at it, dear boy, and I thought this time I would intervene.”

Crowley’s jaw worked as he thought of an answer. He wanted to scream, to give into the deadly sin of wrath and yell, yes! yes, you stupid angel, of course I’m moping—it’s because of you! but he didn’t. That would lead to a productive conversation, which was far beyond Crowley’s capabilities at the moment. So he twitched his lips and replied, “I like to think I’m good at it.”

“Mm. Quite,” Aziraphale responded, squinting his eyes in a faux smile. “Well, are you going to stand there all day?”

Somewhat petulant, Crowley plopped back onto the couch, wings draping over the back, and snatched up the blanket Aziraphale had brought. It was … heavenly soft, if you’ll pardon the phrase, and his fingers stilled in appreciation of it.

Aziraphale hummed in contentment and sat down next to him, leaning forward to grab one ice cream carton and the spoons.

“Not hungry,” Crowley muttered.

“That isn’t the point,” Aziraphale informed him, “drowning your sorrows in—well—ungodly amounts of sugar is the point. And if you share the carton instead of having your own, you can pretend you haven’t eaten as much as you have. Little trick I’ve picked up on.”

The carton was shoved into his hands, and the chill of it raised bumps on his arms. The spoon was offered next, and Crowley glumly took it and began to eat.

It … wasn’t bad. He didn’t usually go for food, and tended to like savory over sweet when he did. But the texture of the cookie dough chunks was pleasant, and the ice cream was cold and smooth.

“Now, this movie,” Aziraphale started, hands rising to gesture, “was originally a book, you see. Penned by William Goldman and published in 1973. It found its own success, but the film, well it really was a hit. It’s now considered to be a ‘cult classic’ and has quite the following. It’s the perfect film for a gloomy-hearted day.”

Crowley shoved another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth in lieu of responding, glad that it was good at least for that purpose.

The movie started to play, and the lights in the flat seemed to, almost by themselves, dim to the perfect degree. It was with a bitter taste on his tongue that Crowley noted the almost cavalier way the angel was using his miracles. They may have scared off Heaven and Hell for the moment, but Aziraphale wasn’t even trying to be cautious.

Cough cough. Baseball noises. The movie was drowned out by the sudden wash of Crowley’s thoughts. Why was Aziraphale even here, sitting not six inches from him, acting like nothing was wrong? Was he really that obtuse? He’d hoped the angel would get the hint and leave him alone, at least for a while, at least until Crowley could carefully shove down all his feelings and get on with the whole friendship thing, as he’d done in the past. He only needed to mope for … oh, maybe a good month or so. They’d gone much longer without seeing each other. It’s not like this hadn’t happened before.

He was startled from his thoughts as Aziraphale reached over and took the carton, taking a few spoonfulls himself before putting it back in Crowley’s frozen hands.

Crowley stared at Aziraphale’s mouth as he sucked the last of the ice cream from the curved metal surface.

“That day she was amazed to discover that when he was saying ‘As you wish’, what he meant was, ‘I love you.’ And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.”

The ice cream carton clunked onto the table, and Crowley let the blanket slip from him as he stood.

“I’m going back to bed.”

Aziraphale huffed behind him. “Oh, don’t be so difficult, Crowley.”

The demon spun with vengeance, wings puffing and feathers standing on end. “Me? I’m the one being difficult? You’re the one who’s broken into my house and forced all this on me.”

Aziraphale’s lips pulled taught. “Yes. Perhaps that was unfair.”

“I mean- Why are you even here, really? What is all this?”

His hand waved half-heartedly at the briefcase and its supplies. “I just wanted to help you feel better.”

“Well, it’s not.”

His hand dropped. His mouth opened and closed as he looked away. “Well,” he said, voice quiet. “Is it too much, then, that I just wanted to see you?”

Crowley’s wings dropped. The fight left his body, and he looked away. “A bit.”

“Look, I know I- that I had a hand in—” His hand rose to motion towards Crowley. “-all this. I just … Well, forgive me, but I didn’t want to stay away.”

Crowley sighed, rubbing at his eyes. “I just need some time.”

“Well, this time, I don’t want to give it to you.”

Frustration bubbled up in Crowley’s chest. “You can’t just pick and choose. You can’t—” His teeth ground shut.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said, and the way his voice broke on the name forced the demon to look back. “I understand you’ve had a hard week, and some of that was because of me. But I’ve had quite the go of it too, and right now all I want is to be with my best friend.”

Crowley bit his tongue. Because that was the problem, wasn’t it? Or at least part of it. Best friend. It had taken him almost 6,000 years to admit it, but that wasn’t what he wanted out of their relationship. Maybe actually saying that would’ve been helpful, but he felt like he couldn’t have been more clear with his intentions. And that’s how it always went. Crowley would put out the feelers, make a suggestion, an offer, and Aziraphale would shut it down. And he could live with that, he could. It hurt like anything, but he was coping. He’d respect Aziraphale’s wishes and his boundaries and anything else. He just needed time. All he wanted was a little time.

“I asked you—” Crowley started, and then had to stop, as his voice had taken on a choked quality. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I asked you to go away with me. We would’ve had all the time in the world. And you said no. You did. So I waited. I asked again. You said no. I just need a little space.”

The smile that rose to Aziraphale’s face was too watery to even be considered a smile at all. “The world was ending, Crowley. And we stopped it, the two of us. If we’d left, only She knows what would’ve happened.”

“And after, I- After it was over, I thought … Maybe now.”

“Crowley—”

“But the thing is, Aziraphale, that I shouldn’t have thought- I shouldn’t have hoped, because you always say no. And that’s—it’s fine! It is! I just … it hurts, too. Maybe that’s … maybe that’s not on your radar, one of your heavenly senses, but …” He looked down. “It just hurts. And you have to let me deal with that.”

When he looked back up, he was ashamed to find tears in Aziraphale’s eyes.

“Do you think it doesn’t hurt me, too?” Aziraphale stared at him, a little fire in his eyes. The breath stilled in Crowley’s lungs. “That I—Heaven forbid—that I get anything out of it but pain? Do you think it doesn’t kill me to say no, every time? The last thing on this world I want to do is hurt you, Crowley, and I hate myself, truly, when I do.”

Crowley’s wings shook, and he pulled them back into his shoulder blades, afraid of what they’d show. The coffee table met his backside a little too hard, and he wrung his hands together.

“My dear, do you think I don’t want to say yes?”

His yellow eyes shot up, locking onto Aziraphale’s. He knew they were yellow all through where the white was supposed to be, and he’d be embarrassed about it if he had the focus.

But he didn’t, because the only thing he was thinking about was the wetness of the angel’s eyes and the wobble of his lips.

“Then why—” His voice rasped, and he swallowed and started again, “Then why didn’t you say yes?”

Aziraphale’s breath huffed out of him, sad and wet. He looked away for a moment before patting the couch cushion beside him.

Cautiously, Crowley moved beside him. His body was taught, only growing stiffer as Aziraphale reached over and took his hand.

“I had a dream once,” he started, both of his hands wrapped around Crowley’s, thumbs working over his knuckles and fingers skirting over his palm. “You were always talking about sleeping, and dreaming, and, well, I wanted to try it. This must have been, oh, I don’t know, decades ago, now. There was a war on, and I was so tired. All I wanted to do was sleep.”

He swallowed, and Crowley watched the movement of his throat.

“And so I did. I slept, and I dreamt. And I had a dream that we were together, you and I, in- Well, you know what way. But we were caught, you see. Heaven found us.” His lips pressed together, and his eyes pinched, and Crowley wanted to shush him, and tell him it was okay, that he didn’t have to continue. It wasn’t like Crowley didn’t know where this was going. “Well, they … They killed you, Crowley, to put it bluntly. Not temporarily discorporated, or put at a desk job Downstairs, just- You know. That was it. You were gone, and it was my fault, and I’d never see you again.

“And I woke up, and at first I thought it was the most horrible dream. And then I had the even more horrible thought that perhaps it wasn’t a dream at all, but a premonition. You know I love my books of prophecy, and, well, I’m an angel after all, so I thought … what if it was true? What if, should I go down that path, that’s what would become of you?”

His fingers stilled over Crowley’s, like he’d lost himself in thought and had forgotten to keep the movement up. Crowley squeezed his fingers, and the angel shook his head.

“Because, well, this thing we had … It worked, didn’t it? Up until now. Because, angels and demons, we were meant to thwart each other, that’s what we do. And Heaven was fine with me, being here, and you, being here, as long as they thought that’s what was happening. Me, the good and obedient angel, making sure you didn’t stir up trouble. Well, it’s just natural, isn’t it? That’s the way of things. But—think of it, Crowley. What would happen if they thought … if they thought we were happy? It’s just not natural. Not to them.”

Crowley didn’t want to think what would’ve happened had they been caught sooner. His mind flashed again to Gabriel’s disdain, for the easy way they’d led him to the fire.

“Why do you care what Upstairs thinks of you?” Crowley whispered, already knowing, and not wanting to hear the answer even as he wanted to hear it all the same. “They … They don’t even like you, Aziraphale.”

Aziraphale’s breath stuttered, and a pinch of guilt rose in Crowley’s stomach at causing it. “Yes, well … I’ve come to realize that, now, but … Well, they were supposed to love me, weren’t they? We’re angels, and I thought, well, that that’s rather the point. I suppose you’ll think it’s silly, but … part of me was terrified to lose that.”

Crowley’s eyes stung, and he looked down as he willed the feeling away. He squeezed as Aziraphale’s fingers again. “It’s not silly.”

“No, it was.” The breath came from Aziraphale in a sad little laugh. “Can’t lose what was never yours.”

His eyes drew back up as Aziraphale extracted a hand, wiping at his cheek.

“Did you know that, um, when they found out, Michael and the others, they, um … Well, they hit me, and pushed me against a wall.”

All of Crowley’s hairs stood on end, and he sprung from his usual slouch. “They what?”

“No, no.” Aziraphale pulled him back down, patting his hand. “Don’t be angry, it’s fine, really, it, uh … Well, it was good, I think, in the end. It adjusted my priorities, you might say.”

Slowly, Crowley sunk back down. But he could feel the anger dance across his shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he managed.

Aziraphale nodded, blinking a few times. “What I’m trying to say is … It’s not that I didn’t want to say yes. I was … I was just scared, Crowley. And it was easier to hold you at arms’ length than to confront that.”

Crowley nodded back, staring at his knees. “I’m sorry if I pushed you.”

“No, it … I think I needed the push, the push was necessary. I just wasn’t ready.”

Crowley squinted across the room, trying not to put too much focus on him. The movie had quieted, almost imperceptible, though neither of them had moved to turn it down.

“They’re not watching us, anymore,” Crowley said, and he hated in part how light and hopeful his voice was. “We’re … well, we’re free of them, for the moment. We don’t have to hide, anymore.”

Aziraphale nodded, not looking at him.

“We could—”

“Not today,” Aziraphale said, and Crowley stopped short.

Something rumbled in his chest, some ancient and fresh frustration. “Why?” is all he could ask.

“It’s not the right time.”

Crowley huffed, but didn’t pull his hand away. “It’s been 6,000 years, Azira—”

“It’s not the time,” he said again. “I think,” he continued, “that we’ve gained a lot. But we’ve lost a lot, too. And it’s okay to be sad about that. I think we both need a little time to be sad. I know I do, at least.”

And that was when Crowley understood. It’s not that they didn’t want each other, mutually, it was just … Aziraphale was mourning. He was mourning what he thought he had.

Maybe the blanket and the ice cream and the fuzzy socks weren’t for Crowley, after all.

He let the silence sit between them for a few moments, and then the sound of the movie faded back in.

“What’s this movie about, anyway?” he asked.

Aziraphale smiled at him, grateful. “Well, it’s a love story,” he said, voice soft. “But it’s more than that, too. There are fights and adventures, and good friends, and cunning wit. And laughs. There are a lot of laughs, as well.”

“It sounds good,” Crowley said.

“Oh, it is,” Aziraphale agreed, leaning forward to pick up the remote. “I’ll show you my favorite part.”

“Hey,” Crowley protested. “You can’t just go to the good part. It’s all the things leading up that make it good.”

Aziraphale didn’t respond, but his smirk did.

Crowley frowned. “You did that on purpose.”

“Perhaps.”

His eyes rolled, though Aziraphale wasn’t looking at him, and he plucked the ice cream carton back off the table. “Wily,” he muttered, holding the carton between them, and Aziraphale hummed in contentment as he took a big bite.

Their hands left each other as Crowley pulled the blanket tighter around the two of them. His wings stretched back out of him, and he let one drop around Aziraphale’s shoulders. Not asking anything, not inviting. Just a familiar weight.

“Oh, this is a good part,” Aziraphale said, thoroughly distracted by the screen.

Crowley watched him, and smiled. He didn’t take any more ice cream, just held it for Aziraphale so he felt like they were sharing. And that’s all it was. Familiar and comfortable. And, Crowley could finally admit, that’s all it needed to be.

Tomorrow might be different. And if it was, they would come to that then, together, as it should be. But for now, they had this, they had each other. If this was what Aziraphale needed from him, not a great love, not right now, just a friend—his best friend—then that’s what Crowley would give him. Things were different now, but some things had stayed the same. And, finally, Crowley was okay with that.

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #this one was just so easy and natural to write for some reason #the words were just FLOWING #i hope you guys like it!!#my gomens #my go fic

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heckyeahsurveys · 7 years

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q’s #232

1.Who was the last person you held hands with?

idk, probs liz

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

somewhere in the middle

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

no one in particular

4. Are you easy to get along with?

idk mate??

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

idek who i like so fuck knows

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

i don’t rly have a type or anything, like there’s nothing in common w/ all the ppl i’ve been/am attracted to so???

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

nah

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

sam but it’s just cos i’ve been thinking about last night n stuff

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

nahh

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

hmm i’m not sure

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“(don’t tell mum who he is cos I cba w/ it lol) but then i did tell her lol

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

i don’t think i rly have 5 favs atm

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yeh

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

nah i don’t think so

15. What good thing happened this summer?

loads!! the best was probs pride

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

yeh probs. doubt i’ll ever see him again tho tbh lool

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

yeah there must be

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

idek who that was so fuck knows

19. Do you like bubble baths?

yES i love them

20. Do you like your neighbors?

noo they’re loud n annoying

21. What are you bad habits?

interrupting, being late, biting my nails, tapping, humming, singing, i guess smoking's a bad habit?, erm drinking past my limits lol??, having to close doors if they’re open??, doing the ‘touch wood’ thing, n there’s probs loads more lol

22. Where would you like to travel?

loads of places

23. Do you have trust issues?

i feel like i do a bit

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

going to sleep

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

just the whole thing tbf

26. What do you do when you wake up?

go back to sleep lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

sometimes darker but i’m p happy w/ it tbh

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

jenny, charley, kt, liz, mum

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

nah

30. Do you ever want to get married?

mayb, i’m not too bothered tbh

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

yeye

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

mate idk

33. Spell your name with your chin.

elklasw (lol)

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

nah i don’t

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

tv, easily, i barely watch it anyways

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

yeah most of the ppl i’ve liked lmao

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“rly good convo this” or smth like that

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

i don’t have a dream girl/guy

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

um,, new look, topshop, h&m, that’s about it tbh

40. What do you want to do after high school?

well i’ve already finished high school n i’m at sixth form, after that i want to go to uni

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

depends on the situation??

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

i’m miserable, like rly rly upset, or feeling empty

43. Do you smile at strangers?

yeah usually

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

well a trip to outer space would take time, n the bottom of the ocean is terrifying so neither tbh

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

the thought that i have to go to college

46. What are you paranoid about?

idk

47. Have you ever been high?

yep

48. Have you ever been drunk?

yeah

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

I don’t think so

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

grey

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

sure

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

hmmm,, i wish my arse was a bit better

53. Favourite makeup brand?

idk i use lots of different brands

54. Favourite store?

boots tbh

55. Favourite blog?

I don’t have 1

56. Favourite colour?

like a rly dark green, dark red, pastel pink or black

57. Favourite food?

probs cheesy chips TBH

58. Last thing you ate?

pizza

59. First thing you ate this morning?

cereal

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

nah

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope

62. Been arrested? For what?

63. Ever been in love?

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

cba. i was v intoxicated, she was my girlfriend at the time n we kissed, that’s abt it lol

65. Are you hungry right now?

no i have tummy ache

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

i don’t have tumblr friends so,,,

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

hm,,, mayb twitter

69. Are you watching tv right now?

nope

70. Names of your bestfriends?

jenny, charley, kt n liz tbh

71. Craving something? What?

death x

72. What colour are your towels?

allsorts of colours

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

two

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

yeh i have a lion called benjamin lmao

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

idk loads

75. Favourite animal?

i don’t have one tbh

76. What colour is your underwear?

pink

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate!!

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

i used to love this blueberry one from a cafe in portugal so mayb that, or ben & jerrys cookie dough omg

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

grey

80. What colour pants?

blue

81. Favourite tv show?

probs game of thrones

82. Favourite movie?

all the harry potters

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

mean girls, i haven’t seen the 2nd one

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

once again, I haven’t seen 21 jump street so,..

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

idk

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

dory tbh

87. First person you talked to today?

kt i think

88. Last person you talked to today?

mum

89. Name a person you hate?

myself

90. Name a person you love?

myself

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

i don’t think so

92. In a fight with someone?

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

mayb 3, i barely wear them tho tbh. i have some peng ones from gap but they’re wayy too big :( I just bought them cos they were on sale lmao

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

fuck knows, quite a few lol

95. Last movie you watched?

twilight

96. Favourite actress?

i don’t have 1 tbh, lee sung kyung is cute bit like i just finished wfkbj so i’m still obsessed w/ everything abt it lol

97. Favourite actor?

on a similar note,, nam joohyuk

98. Do you tan a lot?

nooo

99. Have any pets?

nope

100. How are you feeling?

idk, i’m not good but i’m not bad either

101. Do you type fast?

i guess yeh

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

yeh, i don’t believe in regretting things but like i still do lol

103. Can you spell well?

yeye

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

mhm

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

idk, i don’t think so

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

nope

108. What should you be doing?

nothing

109. Is something irritating you right now?

nah not rly

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

lol yeh

111. Do you have trust issues?

this was already a q??

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

hahahah jenny, katie, jess, charley n probs other ppl last night lool

113. What was your childhood nickname?

i was called theodore in year 8 after the chipmunk in alvin & the chipmunks??

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

i don’t live in a province/state

115. Do you play the Wii?

116. Are you listening to music right now?

yeye

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yeh but i’m a veggie so i can’t eat it lol

118. Do you like Chinese food?

yep

119. Favourite book?

idk, harry potter i guess. i don’t rly read anymore tho

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

not rly

121. Are you mean?

i can be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

nah

125. Do you believe in true love?

idk

126. Are you currently bored?

yes

127. What makes you happy?

being asleep

128. Would you change your name?

probs not

129. What your zodiac sign?

leo

130. Do you like subway?

think it’s overrated tbh

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

i don’t have a best friend of the opposite sex

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

i swear this was also already a question too

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

dunno

134. Can you count to one million?

well yeh, but why would i?

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

i can’t think of anything tbh

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed!

137. How tall are you?

like 5′2″

138. Curly or Straight hair?

is this asking what i have or what i like?? mines wavy but i wish it was straight tbh

139. Brunette or Blonde?

blonde

140. Summer or Winter?

summer

141. Night or Day?

night

142. Favourite month?

august tbh, cos it’s my bday, has always been in the summer hols n it’s p warm

143. Are you a vegetarian?

yeye

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

tea

146. Was today a good day?

was alright, spent most of it at katie’s in bed feeling hungover tbh, n spent the rest in my own bed lol

147. Mars or Snickers?

mars

148. What’s your favourite quote?

i don’t have one

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

i’m not sure

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line

“some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word”

#this was so long omg

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