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flanaganfilm · 11 months

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You have spoken about dealing with addiction in the past (congratulations on your sobriety, btw), and Hill House, Midnight Mass, Doctor Sleep, etc, all feature characters struggling with addiction. Do you find a sort of catharsis in writing those characters and their storylines, and do you find that having gone through that affects how you write those characters and their stories? p.s. if the question is too personal, I apologize. You are, of course, free to ignore it.

Happy to talk about it. I was writing about addiction long before I admitted having a problem. Looking all the way back to my student films, many years before Absentia, I can see myself starting to pick it apart. The fact is I was a really shitty drunk. I was absolutely a problem drinker. It was always that way, going back to school - I was never able to handle it, and there were times throughout my life starting very young when that thought would occur to me, and I'd get scared, and then I'd convince myself I was being dramatic and that I had no problem whatsoever.

The truth is that I didn't have an OFF switch, I was inclined to hide my drinking, and the older I got the more self-destructive I became when I was under the influence.

But I was also very committed to the belief that I could handle it, and that I didn't have an actual problem, so for years I'd coast by, telling myself whatever issues I may have had weren't so serious. "Nine times out of ten, I'm just fine - I'm the life of the party," I'd think. I wasn't, though, and soon enough it was 50/50 whether I'd have to make apologetic phone calls on a given hungover morning. And those stretches where'd I'd really let go and drink hard, the person who emerged was less and less like me. It got to the point I didn't recognize him at all - there was this stranger who lived inside, and if he got out, he was could destroy everything I held dear, and he didn't give two shits about it. Looking back at the last decade of my work with the perspective I have now, I can see an escalating subconscious urgency in the way I was talking about alcoholism and addiction. My 2003 student feature Ghosts of Hamilton Street features a wanna-be writer with a horribly self-destructive alcohol problem. The people in his life begin to physically disappear, and the world around him resets as though they never existed at all, so he's the only who notices. I was 25 years old when I made that movie, and looking at it now, the addiction issues are a huge blinking red light all over the movie. At the time, I thought it was just interesting context for the character.

I wrote the opening scene of Midnight Mass (which features Riley Flynn waking up from a blackout drunk driving session to find that he's killed someone) all the way back in 2010, eight years before I finally sobered up. That was always something I was absolutely terrified of - not that I'd die because of my drinking, but that I'd kill someone else and live with the consequences. That was probably my biggest fear for most of my life, if I'm honest. And there were mornings I'd wake up at home and wonder how the hell I'd driven myself there the night before. I remember those mornings with a stomach-turning degree of terror and shame.

It was always somewhat cathartic to write about characters with addiction issues. There's a long stretch between Absentia and Hill House where it appears that I'm not dealing with those themes in my work (though I'd argue there's a subtle addiction meditation at play in Before I Wake that I've only recently noticed), but I was also secretly working on Midnight Mass that entire time, and just pouring all of my thoughts and anxieties about alcoholism into that story. So while Oculus, Hush, Ouija: OOE, and Gerald's Game don't seem to dwell much on addiction, that's really because I was spending my nights pouring all of that into the pages of Midnight Mass, which existed alternately as a novel, a screenplay, and then a series during those years.

Working on Doctor Sleep is what brought it all to the surface for me. Stephen King's novel deals thoroughly with the theme of recovery (The Shining is about destruction of addiction, and Doctor Sleep is about the journey and reality of recovery), and a lot of people in my cast were sober. It was while we were shooting that film that I realized I needed to make a seismic change in my life.

My wife will say that reading the scene in Doctor Sleep where Dan sits at the Gold Room bar in the Overlook was when she knew I was reaching a critical moment. That scene isn't in King's book, and my first draft of that conversation between Dan and Jack was almost fifteen pages long. It's basically a prolonged argument between the addictive and sober voices in my mind, and writing that scene shook something loose in me. I stopped drinking just a few days before we filmed that scene for that movie, and I haven't had a drop since.

But for catharsis, Midnight Mass truly is the most personal piece of work I've ever made. Riley is a very thinly disguised avatar of myself. I look at that series and I see several distinct versions of myself in conversation with each other over more than a decade. I'm glad it took so long to get that show made, because if I'd made it in 2016 like I wanted to, I wouldn't have done a good job - there is no way I could have told that story until I was finally sober. If you listen closely to the AA meeting scenes between Riley and Father Paul throughout the series, you're basically looking directly into my conflicted brain over many, many years.

This year is my fifth year sober, and I spend my days happy, busy, and so grateful that I was able to make those changes before my drinking destroyed my career, my marriage, and my life. I was lucky. I am lucky. But since I finished Midnight Mass, I haven't felt that pull when I'm writing. I haven't felt those themes elbowing their way into my work. That part of me is still in here (it always will be), but I feel like I was somehow able, over many years, to coax it to sleep. I'm sure I'll return to those themes over the years, as I hope to learn more about myself and have more to say... but for now, those voices are peaceful and quiet. I have projects on the horizon that will touch on some of those things (if I'm able to make The Dark Tower, there's some wonderful elements with Eddie's addiction issues that I look forward to exploring) but it feels different.

One of the things I hold onto when I look back at that time is the hope that the work can be helpful to someone else who may struggle in a similar way. And talking to fans, I've heard here and there that it has, and that means the world to me. I think storytellers can't help but use their stories as a mirror, it's one of the ways we take ourselves apart, look at the pieces, and put them back. It's one of the only ways we can see ourselves clearly.

Sometimes we don't even realize we're doing it. It's only looking back that we can see ourselves, and our work, with any real clarity.

#midnight mass #alcoholism #sobriety

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thedeliverygod · 5 months

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The Final Chapter of Noragami

I'll start off by saying no matter what, this is my favorite manga/anime series. It'll always be near and dear to my heart. And thank you again to @fast-moon who has put so much time in effort into this series so that we would be able to read it in English ASAP.

But here are my honest thoughts, below the cut

There are far too many open ends. As a writer and a fan, I get that it's good to leave things pretty open ended and give fans a chance to explore possibilities. But there was too much here.

Something that struck me during my read of the translation (as I read the raws about an hour beforehand) was the absence of Nana. Arahabaki and Shiho are at the hanami, why not her? Especially since she's got a bond with Bishamon as well.

Is Nora just a free agent, doing whatever she wants? We see that Yukine still has his Hagusa name, so clearly she would still have Mizuchi. And we know Yato can't re-name her. Does she spend time with Yato and Yukine at Kofuku's house? Is she Yato's secret agent in watching over Hiyori? lol

Kazuma is the only one (aside from Nana) who survived the God's Greatest Secret without being named with the koto no ha. How is he dealing with it? Is he also having nightmares like Yukine?

Yato being 'saved' by going viral is a bit dumb especially because the posts are like "wow this guy is doing like a 10 year old meme lame" etc so it didn't seem like it should have blown up much anyway? and he also says no one actually remembers 'him'/uses his name just Teke-Teke so how does that... actually help Yato? Granted he didn't die and he has a smartphone now but I feel like he would... actually have to really be acknowledged to get money and have a shrine other than Hiyori's shrine (which btw what happened to THE DAMN SHRINE??? its on the cover but the chapter??? absent)

"I'll give you all of me" and dramatic crying/kiss but then Yato just seems so... detached. granted I KNOW it's because of the near shore/far shore and he doesn't want to endanger her again and just looks over her and it's a trope that's been in a million fanfics including mine but it just feels so off and bluh to NOT GET ANY RESOLUTION OTHER THAN HIYORI JUST RECOGNIZING HIM and then a line in the journal about how he tried to play it off.

I can't even think of everything tbh there's just a lot I want answered that wasn't...

I would say the best part of this chapter was the stuff about Fujisaki. It finally answered that he was 'born' with Father present inside of him and they kind of switched back and forth. Although again that leaves the question of how much was Fujisaki and how much was Father in terms of hitting on Hiyori/how much did Fujisaki know about Father's antics. I also love that Yato still hates him anyway even without Father LOL

lastly father was this giant cataclysmic force in Yato's life for literally over a thousand years and he's finally free. and we really get no reaction in regards to that. And that is especially disappointing when it's a major theme of the manga as a whole, you know?

idk that's my piece for now. I'm sure I'll have more to say in the coming days/weeks/months/etc but I hope and pray there's maybe any sort of small addition to the tankobon release.

it did mention "please look forward to adachitoka's next work" but I think that was just like a publishing nicety. I think noragami's ending was rushed due to their ongoing health problem and/or pressure from the publishers and I honestly don't see them coming out with a new series any time soon.

#noragami #noragami spoilers #noragami final chapter spoilers

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zyhkoo · 1 month

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eye candy ♡ willy wonka 2023

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✦✦ 𓏏𓏏 part 2: ms. y/n rosewell, a famous botanist has come back from town after a year. she had returned with special flowers from her trip and famous willy wonka has caught her attention. will they get along? ♡ part 1

a/n: i got lazy for this, so the writing style will be a little different!

The next morning, a jar of chocolate arrived on your porch. It seemed a bit nicer than the chocolate he had given you before, with a more classy appearance and a somewhat larger size. It's Valentine's day, but unfortunately you were closed.

Today was the weekend, and you do not work on weekends. You'd usually sleep in or go grocery shopping on weekends, although they may get boring at times. During working hours, when you had nothing to do, you would normally read or sketch to pass the time.

Your favorite activity, however, was listening to the radio; you enjoyed the music and the issues spoken by others. Unfortunately, your radio had broken down while you were gone. So that's a bummer.

You thought for a moment, why not try something new? You never considered walking around town, it could be fun.

You stood up and dressed more formally. When you were about to leave, you opened the jar of candy and popped one in your mouth. It really tasted good, you loved the bitterness especially.

You locked your shop, dusted your clothes and begun to walk around the town. There were a few changes here and there, but was still the town you remembered. You remembered playing with your sister, while your father would bring home a toy or two every week.

You weren't poor, but you didn't had a lot. You wished you switched places instead of them, because you knew that nothing lasts forever. You wanted to move on, but you couldn't help but think about them.

You walked in the gallery gourmet. You noticed that Slugworth, Ficklegruber and that other guy's shop had disappeared. Could they really have gone? You walked deeper into the place, new candy and chocolate shops were built and in the middle was Willy's store.

Something was telling you that you should go inside. But I don't even like sweets that much. You thought. Never mind, I shouldn't be saying anything. I literally traded over my most expensive flower for chocolate!

Maybe a peek?

You walked forward, it was quite the busy place for sure. You stopped on the front glass, taking a peek inside the store. It looked so beautiful. It looked like the placed you explored in when you were traveling, so wonderful. You made up your mind and decided to enter the store yourself.

Behind you, someone greeted "Welcome to Wonka's Miss! May I help.. Ms. Rosewell?" you recognized the voice behind you and you turned around "Hello, Mr. Wonka." you couldn't help but smile to him.

He smiled back "What brings you here Ms. Rosewell? Are you interested to buy some chocolate?" you shook your head "No, no, no. I just came to look around, this is very beautiful." you complimented him.

"Well, I'm glad you like it! Why won't we find somewhere to sit?"

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He led you in a private room, he took a chair and then offered you to sit down. "Tea?" he offered "Sure." you replied. "I was hoping to see you again, I am quite interested about you from all the stories I heard." you softly smiled "Hm, I guess the town has heard about my deeds from afar.. I'm quite embarrassed."

"How so?" he asked, "I like attention, just not too much." you said, Willy understood "I see, but you deserve praise! You've been to a land full of danger just to retrieve beautiful flowers." you laughed "Well, aren't we the same though? Willy Wonka would climb mountains and swim oceans to make the perfect chocolate."

"You got that right," he proudly beamed. "But have you noticed that I am also a great magician? Watch this." His eyes were filled with a strange mix of mischief and affection. You tilted your head and, in a blink of an eye, he took out a rose with an unusual pattern.

Wait a minute.

"Hey, isn't that mine..??" you reached to his hand, then suddenly it turned to coins. "2 sovereigns right?" you stared speechless but accepted the coins "Silly.. don't steal from me again." Willy's eyes widened "Willy Wonka never steals! In fact, what I just did there is called: buy now, pay later."

"Well, thank you for paying me back Mr. Wonka."

"It's my pleasure."

You hadn't felt this warm in a long time. You couldn't recall laughing with anyone like this before; it seemed unfamiliar. "You put your pride and love into this store, didn't you?" You said, continuing the conversation, "Truly, what could be better than a candy land? Or.. edible change?"

"You can make anything edible at this point."

Willy grinned. "What matters to me the most is that if people are happy. I'm happy, what about you?" you choked on your tea a bit "Me?" you asked.

What did make you happy? Flowers? Traveling? The radio? You thought for a while "I feel happy right now, talking to you like this." you answered his question, "But, don't get the wrong idea.." Willy answered, "Why would I? Thats not bad at all, I enjoy talking with you too."

A blush crept up your face "You mean it?" you asked "Of course, I've never met someone similar to me." you smiled "Maybe so." you never knew talking with a person you just met would make you happy.

"Do you have any hobbies?"

Strangers never asked personal things about you, it was usually how skilled you were.

"Bouquet design, drawing and I suppose singing.."

Almost everyone asked you the same question. How do you create bouquets? Where do you get your flowers from? How can I get money with flowers? And honestly, you thought that people only saw you as a botanist.

"Singing! I love to sing too." Willy said, "Maybe you should give me a performance, imagine this: (name)'s spectacular singing show!"

You would ignore any signs of friendship and love, because you were scared of losing it. But maybe you should give this a chance.

"You're such a dreamer.." you rolled your eyes "Thats my specialty." Willy smiled.

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Yesterday was nice, the two of you spent your time getting to know about each other. It felt really good finding someone to talk with topics you actually enjoyed. And because he made you happy, you felt like you owed him something.

"Welcome to Timmy's Tailors! Can I help you madam?" you entered a tailor shop, you thought that a coat would be good gift. "I want a coat, he's this tall and hm.. maybe red? Im not sure what his size is, I just want it to be a surprise." you explained.

The tailor nodded "Who is it for? Your brother? Your father? A lover?" you shook your head "Just a gift for a friend, do you mind if I picked a size?"

You ended up picking a coat with a (pattern) felt, it perfectly fits you as well. You were a tall woman, just 3 inches away from Willy. If it didn't fit him you could always come back to the tailor and fix it, it was no problem. This was the first gift you gave that wasn't a flower, you realized he was one of your firsts.

A first friend and a first gift.

That warm feeling came into your senses again, you were changing. What is up with you and that chocolate maker? You felt stupid, you've only seen him twice and it felt like you've known him forever. You snapped out of your thoughts, think! You just met this guy for 2 days, you shouldn't get too attached.

You arrived back to your shop, you went upstairs and placed the paper bag on the table. For a moment, your stomach growled. You couldn't cook, at all. In fact you were a very terrible cook, that was one thing you didn't have common with Wonka. So you would usually get pre-heated food or take out.

Unfortunately, you were out of food so you were planning to eat out for dinner and forgot, but hold that first thought.. why did you even go home in the first place?? Aren't you supposed to give this to him??

You covered your face and groaned in frustration, okay so new plan:

You go out and eat for dinner.

Give the coat some other day.

But maybe give the coat after you eat?? No, it would be embarrassing for some reason. Well if you do give the coat, what on earth are you going to say? Thank you for talking to me, heres a coat! Absolutely not, you need to think this through. You went out your store again and double checked to see if you forgot anything.

Okay, everything looks good.

You walked out, locked the door and started to walk to the restaurant. You decided to treat yourself to your favorite place, you missed eating food from this town. Sure, you've eaten one of the finest dishes before when traveling but nothing hits hard like the ones at home.

The restaurant you were looking for was a bit far from your house so you needed to ride a cable car for fifteen minutes to arrive. But you didn't mind, all you wanted was to eat.

You entered the restaurant, the waiters smiled and welcomed you. Thankfully there was one table available. You placed your bag in your left side and took the menu, no way everything got cheaper!

You double checked the menu to see if you were actually not getting crazy. It is definitely real. You couldn't wait so you immediately called the waitress.

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That was so amazing. You felt like you unlocked a core memory in your mind, you felt so happy. It was evening, there were barely people in the streets in this hour. You walked the streets while humming a tune, you could hear your boots syncing with your tunes.

One things for sure, you loved the night. While you traveled, you would often stare into the stars above. They all had their own place fit just for them. You looked up to the sky, you couldn't see any stars tonight. Instead, it looked rather cloudy.

Drip, drip, drip.

Suddenly it started to rain heavily, at this point you didn't even try and look for shelter. It could be worse. No wonder no one was walking in the streets, they probably noticed that rain was going to pour.

You exhaled, the unexpected keeps happening to you. You could hear footsteps approaching behind you, but you didn't look. You could tell this person stopped for a moment, thats when you decided to turn around. Your breath hitched.

"Rosewell?"

You both looked at each other for a brief moment "Hello again." you said.

Willy approached you, tilting his umbrella for a bit so the both of you could share. He smiled "Now what are you doing getting drenched by the rain?" you huffed "Well, in my defense I didn't expect it to rain." you told him. A hint of mischief was written on his face "Really now?"

You sighed "I was spacing out as well, anyways what brings you here?" you asked casually as if you're not drenched in rain "I live near here. Hold on to this, you're soaked." he gave the umbrella handle to you then he let you hit coat and hat.

"Thank you Willy." he was caught off guard for a moment. "You're welcome (name)." he replied.

"Why wont I escort you home?" he suggested "..You see I live quite far from this place. I only came here to watch at my favorite restaurant." Willy laughed, "Is that so?" you frowned "Don't embarrass me please."

"I'm sorry, alright enough talking. Would you like to come over to my place?" he asked.

You nodded "Yes please, I'm going to freeze."

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His home was nice, it writes 'Willy Wonka' everywhere. "Why don't you go take a shower? I'll gladly lend you my clothes." he offered "Will they even fit?" you asked "Oh, I'm sure they would." he reassured you "Shower is upstairs!" he said.

After a long hot shower, you dried yourself up and wore his clothes. He was right it did fit, you sighed in relief because that meant the coat probably fit him. The clothes you wore were very comfortable, probably something he'd only wear when he was at home.

You wouldn't mind wearing masculine or feminine clothes. Either would fit you well anyway, so it doesn't matter. You walked downstairs, you couldn't see Willy anywhere. You figured he was in a different room, so you just looked around his living room.

He walked in the room, holding two glasses of hot chocolate. He placed the glasses on the table and walked towards you "They fit you perfectly!!" he said, he sounded really excited just the sight of you wearing his clothes. "It looks real good on you too." he added.

You smiled at him "You think so?" you said "Well I most certainly do! You look real nice." he reassured, his hands holding your arms "Oh, sorry. I just felt excited to see it fit you perfectly." you sighed "Its fine, can I sit?" you said.

"Oh, right. I got hot chocolate." he said "Nothing is better than Wonka's late night lax hot cocoa." you carefully took the cup out of his hand, the heat stung your fingers a little.

You drank the hot chocolate, Willy watched and waited for reaction. You looked at him "Is something wrong?" you asked "Not at all," he answered "I just wanted to know if you like it." he said.

You hummed "Well, I love it." you said "Glad, I changed it a little for your own liking." he said. Though his tone was calm, his face was full of excitement and you couldn't help but chuckle. "What's with the face?" you asked "I just feel happy. I've never invited anyone in my house before." he said. "Well it's quite lovely." you said.

It was still raining outside, thunder had already to clap. It would be a real hassle to go back home, hopefully your flowers won't get ruined by the rain though, oh no.

"Mind if I stay for the night?" you asked "Of course you can, you don't even need to ask." Willy said "You can sleep in my bed." you squinted "Well, where will you sleep?" you asked, Willy shrugged "Oh, don't you worry. I'll sleep on the desk."

"No, I can sleep in the couch. I'll feel bad." you told me "Its fine (name). It's really no problem for me." you sighed "You're too nice, are you plotting something?" you asked, Willy shook his head "Of course not! Why would I?" you chuckled "I was just kidding."

The two of you talked the whole night, eventually the clock strikes 12 and you were getting sleepy. "I feel sleepy, I think we should head to bed." you suggested "Sounds great." he said standing up "Are you really going to sleep on your table?"

He extended his hand to you "Well I don't see a problem with that. As long as my first guest is comfortable it's fine." you reached out his hand and pulled you up.

His bedroom felt like healing your inner child, it was beautiful. "I love.. your bedroom." you said, amazed by everything around it. From the glowing stars on the ceilings, and the numerous amount of small lights everywhere. "Thank you! I designed it myself." he said.

"I'd definitely enjoy this if I was a kid." you said "My old bedroom was somewhat similar to this." he said "I took inspiration from that." Willy smiled "You can lay down if you want, i'll just be here. See?" Willy extended out a chair, in front of him was a small cute factory. It was reminiscent to the luggage he carried.

You got into the covers getting comfortable "Thank you Willy, I owe you a lot." you smiled, he looked at you "Its no problem. Anything for a friend." he reassured "You're not going to sleep?" you asked him, you still felt guilty for hogging his bed. "Nope, i'll work on this first. Now go to sleep."

Something about his soft voice would always make you feel warm on the inside.

"Good night, please don't stay up too late, Willy."

"You too, (name)."

You woke up, your eyes still felt heavy and your body was still tired. You recalled everything that happened last night, the rain, the hot chocolate and the clothes you wore. You looked at the clock hanging in the wall, it was 7:13 in the morning. You said to yourself. "Well, I slept real late. And it's still early, so I'll just sleep in."

Then, the door opened "Wake up sleepyhead, time to wake up!"

"..." you stayed silent.

You could sense him sitting down on the bed "Is she awake?" he said to himself "No." you responded. Willy decided to play along with you "Is that sleep talking I hear?" he mischievously said "Do people still get hungry when they're asleep?" he asked you "What's for breakfast?" you muttered.

"Croissant, crispy bacon and some chocolate bread." he said. You told him; "Eggs.. with bacon.. and some milk." he hummed "That's quite a delicious dream. Well, when shes ready to get out of bed. Can you tell her I got her some breakfast?" Willy said with a soft voice.

You slightly covered the blanket to your head "She'll come out in a few minutes." you said, you can feel him stand up from the bed "Alright, then tell her to come to the kitchen." he said, closing the door. You immediately sat up, pushing your knees to your chest.

"What's going on with me?"

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You went downstairs and found the kitchen "Good morning, Willy." you greeted him, your voice was still raspy. Willy greeted back, "Good morning (name)! Huh, I thought you'd get up a little late." he said, cracking some eggs.

"I envy you," you told him "Really? How so?" he asked while you softly sighed "Well, you can cook and I cant. I usually just eat pre-made foods or go out in restaurants." you explained.

"I see, then how did you eat when venturing?" he asked, you thought for a while "Hmm, from what I can remember. I packed a lot of foods like berries and such, a shame to say I ate a few flower petals."

You explained further "I have the fear of fire and heat, so maybe thats one of the reasons why I don't want to cook. A restaurant can be pricey sure, but it's delicious."

Willy hummed "Well, why won't I teach you how to cook?" Willy said as he placed the cooked egg on the plate.

You stared at him "You might not want to trust me to cook." you said, averting your gaze away from him. "It'll be fine, I'll be here watching you! You won't be injured in any way, I promise." he said. That smile of his, how could you say no?

You gave in "Fine," you sighed "What would you like me to start on?" he grinned "Let me prepare these first."

After preparing a few things, he told you to come and cook some bacons. "So, I just.. place them there right?" you were holding some tongs and a plate of uncooked bacon.

"Yep, the stove hasn't turned on yet so it's fine." You carefully placed the 5 bacon strips on the stove.

Willy nodded in approval "Now, turn on the stove and use medium heat." you turned the stove "Like that right?" he hummed "Hmm, the fire is too weak." Willy turned it further "There we go, now you need to wait till it sizzles. Then flip it over till its ready." he advised.

10 minutes passed, you managed to cook decent bacons. Although the last one burnt "See, it wasn't that bad!" he smiled while you were frowning "But one of them got burnt." you reminded him.

"Well, it doesn't mean the others are bad." he reassured you "Lets eat! Can you help me with the plates?" he asked "Of course." you replied.

The two of you settled down the table "It's been a while since I cooked some heavy breakfast." Willy said "Oh, me too. I usually eat cereal and start my day." you told him "I'd say the same, I eat a lot of sweets." he said "I can see that." you chuckled. "I feel quite ashamed for you to let me in your house like this. Let alone borrow your stuff."

He tilted his head "Why so? You're a friend of mine, they're meant to help each other." he reassured you, you looked at him with a soft gaze "If thats what you think." you told him "If I were in your shoes, I'd probably escort them home. I wouldn't trust a stranger whom i've meet for a few days." you added.

"Well I trust you." you huffed "Oh don't say such nonsense." you said, looking away from him "Well, didn't you trust me the moment I gave you shade with my umbrella?" he said. You stayed silent "...Eat the bacon." you turned away from him. He tilted his head, afraid he said something for you to act like that.

"Sorry, did I say something?" now you felt bad "No, nothing. Thank you for taking me in, Willy." you reassured him. His smile returned, "Of course." he said.

After breakfast, the two of you talked again. Your clothes weren't dry just yet, so Willy allowed you to have his clothes. You were about to leave his house, but you wanted to bid your goodbyes first. "Willy?" you called out his name, you looked around and saw him sleeping in the couch.

He must've had stayed up all night, you spotted a blanket on the side of the couch and wrapped it around him.

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hi everyone! ive decided to stick with (name) instead of y/n because to me it feels more normal. but anyways, yay!! another chapter, sorry if their relationship is quite rushed here.. im trying to write slowburn haha but i couldn't help it

happy reading!

#౨ৎ blythe’s fics #willy wonka x reader #willy wonka #wonka 2023 #wonka x reader #wonka movie #timothee chalamet #timothee #chalamet x reader #timothee x reader #wonka fanfic #willy wonka 2023 #wonka fanfiction

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alienpossession · 1 year

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"Ahahaha, yeah sir, just trying to keep up with the role, you know? As you said it yourself, cannot let other people know that I'm not myself any longer so I just play pretend being this straight Korean prick. Would've let you do anything you want to me if I know it was you from the get go, please, get in, you'll have so much more fun by being inside of me rather than going around as the little twink,"

After a while, I usually like to check out and test my various vessels which are spread across the globe. Aside from trying to know how well they integrate to human society, I find it amusing to toy around with their feelings and how easy their personality switched between their human persona and my dutiful vessels. It's also a way for me to test my power, like how well I could hide myself to be undetected by their senses which would indicate how well I could hide from other beings that might come to Earth and spoiled my fun. I find it handy to use Vince as my base body since he's loaded and despite claiming to be a very busy businessman when I first met him back then, most of his works are done by other people.

It left a lot of flexibility in his schedule so I simply head to the airport and his private jet ready to drop me anywhere I wished in a moment's notice. After I landed, I usually just dropped Vince's body in the hotel while I did my test, wearing temporary skins that my vessels wouldn't recognize as other vessels of mine and could keep me incognito. Here's what happened in the past few weeks

---

I just smirked as I quickly kneeled and get my tongue out ready to give that sweaty abs some licking it deserves. He's this close to bashed me to death, just like the real homophobic Seulgi would. I turned my incognito mode off and he directly stopped his fist a couple centimetres away from this cute university student's face I slid into earlier. Now, his fist turned into a lustful grab of my hair as he used it to rub me up and down his abs as if I'm some kind of washcloth. His lustful moan is as seductive as I remembered when I took him over in that Hongdae nightclub, and I couldn't help myself but squirted some loads into this university senior's pants while transferred myself to Seulgi through his navel

---

"Oh that was hilarious. I totally didn't see that coming. I really thought you are just one hell of an annoying new client I should endure jist because they could afford me. Totally sorry for being so hard and rude to you Sir,"

I simply smiled. Francis is a personal trainer, a succesful one at that, but I know he's not good with people that are not at least a decently-built individual yet. I slid into this fat fuck when he left Subway and I quickly devised the plot to tick Francis off. I bought some gym clothes to be in character, signed up to the gym where he worked at, asked....no....demanded to have him as my personal trainer and said all the things I know he hated. He's this close to lash out on me, I could tell, but just like the real Francis, he kept himself together. I also didn't find any flaws on the way he behaved like Francis so after about an hour, I turned my incognito mode off and he quickly realized it

"Well Sir, please just left that fat retard quickly and get into me Sir. That look doesn't fit you and I know he only drained you and made you out of breath. Please, it's been a while too since you get inside me,"

---

"Why would you do that, Sir? We are totally fool-proof, you don't have to test us. Is this random test or did you hear anything about us raising other people's suspicion? Now I feel bad for not welcoming you properly, you really played that role a bit too well to, I was this close to slap your face and called you names,"

"No no, you two are doing fine. This is just random test as I'm visiting Egypt anyway. And as for her, I just know you would hate her. Argumentative and loud gym girl that dared to talk back to you? Yeah, that's your trigger, just need to up the ante by disrespecting your mom and boy, I noticed that balled fist yo, I quickly shut off my incognito mode hahah!"

"We felt bad that you have to meet us this way. Maybe you want to slide into Farhan? You've went inside me during Mr. Olympia a couple months ago anyway, Farhan has been longing for you,"

"Well, I'm gonna do it from this chick's body so maybe let's search for somewhere private,"

---

"Master, sorry for being a bit direct but this is not an effective usage of your time. You have so many vessels, why fool around with the ruse?"

"Because I like to do it. And I can do it. Why are you the one questioning me now?"

"Sorry Master. It's just---"

"What?"

"Strip, and where's a bathroom? I need to fuck you with a mirror in sight so he can see that he's just a bottom bitch that lost thr ability to even control his own body and he's not going to influence you anymore even when I'm not inside you all the time. I will make him trapped so deep within his own mind, he wouldn't be able to leak through and influenced you any longer,"

---

"Certainly sir, everything I own belongs to you, including the bitch I'm going to visit. She's all yours. Heck, even if you want to fuck a white twink with my body, so be it, you do what you want with me and my schedule. I'm just so honored that you even bothered to come all the way down to South Africa for me,"

---

"What? Huh....I guess you played Romain a bit too well. Calm down a bit. Get hard. Fuck around more. Stop being so business-minded all the time. It gets annoying to see more of that guy surfaced you know. He's one tough cookie back when I eventually subdued him, turned out he remained tough up until now huh? Giving you a hard time to be loose and free while fooling all the people worked for him. Strip,"

"Oh wow, really? Fuck, I really am going to smash this whole thing with you inside of me during the competition. What a chance encounter this is. I really thought you were just an annoying fan and I only wasted my time here interacting with a fans, but turns out it pays off acting all nice and pretending like I'm this sweet All-American boy when you revealed yourself. Please, you can just jump right in sir, it's been a while since my navel welcomed you,"

#check up #alien possession #male possession #alien expansion #alien transference

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archivalofsins · 4 months

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hey so im not trippin right? chronologically, the events in meme take place after the events in double, at least from what i can gather. if thats the case then what the hell happened for mikoto to go from 'giant eyebags and grey hairs at age 20 whatever' to perfectly fine? its probably just that the artstyle wasnt fully finished baking but idk it could be something too.

Oh boy howdy anon you're going to love this. You're right the events on the train do happen before MeMe. However, that's at the start we actually see the events of MeMe play out in the middle of Double. Plus we see the events of Double play out in MeMe as well.

We're just viewing it from a different side like Deco said when Double released.

Also John totally appears in MeMe. So, let's get into this.

So first yeah, the murder repeats in Double. Like we see, the murders occur again during each of the prisoner's trial two songs. I believe the murder is re-illustrated in Double during these scenes.

As you'll be able to see during these scenes the blood splatters inside the train, but the broken doll pieces are outside of it. Mirroring how the murders actually occurred outside in MeMe.

As you can see in MeMe the train that Double takes place within is actually passing through when the murder is committed. We're also shown in MeMe that all of Mikoto's attacks just canonically happen outside the train.

Hence the theme being a dialogue between the front and back. MeMe is the front Double is the back. We also see Mikoto with bags in MeMe but they're less pronounced this is seemingly done purposely to make it more difficult to distinguish between the two of them.

He can be seen with bags under his eyes when they're looking at each other in the mirror, and when he's waking up in the tub. The scene of them looking in the mirror basically mirrored at the beginning of Double.

It's also shown that Mikoto doesn't have bags beneath his eyes when being brought to Milgram. Yet, as soon as it's implied that Mikoto (John) has been fronting the most suddenly guess what's back.

Yep, the bags under his eyes. This is why the line,

"Take a good look at me."

Is repeated through MeMe and why Mikoto's first voice drama emphasizes looking him in the eye as much as it does. Also, why when he does draw a blank and is shown disposing of evidence his eyes are conveniently omitted.

Yet even then before that scene when he does get up lines can be seen drawn under his eyes.

And they can definitely be seen here as well,

And here too!

Mikoto the one Milgram has recognized as a prisoner is the only one not to have bags under his eyes throughout their music videos. Something Milgram does nothing to hide.

In fact it's like the staff has been doing their best to highlight this.

Like if it was just a matter of art style that wouldn't explain how he went from no eyebags to eyebags at the beginning of double and from the beginning of Milgram to now. Or why he went back and forth between them in MeMe.

At that point this is something being done out of intent. Intent that is confirmed in Double when Mikoto (John) goes-

"Aghhh- I'VE GOT YOU, LEAVE IT TO ME!"

After Mikoto's facial expression changes from happy well rested no bags ultimately ending on this expression-

I lovingly call, "Shut the hell up I heard you the first time okay I'll do something about it."

But yeah Mikoto consistently switches between alert, attentive well rested and please, please god let it end i don't remember what a bed looks like let alone feels like please I can't take it anymore. Instead of illustrating this through eye bags in Double it's illustrated through body language more so but the focus on the eyes is still there.

Even with the eye bags. In the first shot Mikoto's eyes are downcast while in the second he's alert and looking at something ahead of him. Similar to how he is in MeMe

So, yeah chances are it could be nothing. Or the one we see with bags under their eyes and seemingly tired throughout both songs is Mikoto (John). Whereas, the one who is energetic and doesn't have as prominent or any bags under his eyes is just Mikoto.

Overall it's an interesting tidbit about Double and MeMe. Simply because it's so easy to miss. I personally think it's there to differentiate between the two but it could be nothing. This retroactively makes this scene funny because there's no bags to be seen so it's more than likely just Mikoto.

And this one because also no bags

Which again by this logic means that is just simply Mikoto. Also calls into question why we never see the face of the Mikoto hunting the other down in Double just their back. Along with all the times they deliberately decide not to show his face. Like he didn't even commit murder in the clothes he's on the train in.

Because the anniversary art is literally all of the prisoners after their crimes. So like it's kind of funny he's been getting away with this so easily.

#milgram #mikoto kayano #gunsli rambles

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pigtailedgirl · 2 months

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Now I'm curious how you got into due south originally, if you feel like explaining :)

Sure! It's nothing too exciting I guess, but my Dueser origins begin as a wee girl. I know my family must have vaguely watched it because I remember the image of All The Queen's Horses mountie chase pre-dates my series watch beginnings. I know my grandma later confessed as I had it on tv one summer that she watched it. Cause cute Benton Fraser lol.

But real seeing and watch began with a random catch of Free Willie one morning on the Showcase Network. Thank you kindly Showcase.

Yeah, I caught it one morning and stayed to watch because I think I vaguely recognized it, and just fell in love with it's charm and wit and Fraser and Ray. It was the first episode so great timing too. And they had it schedule set to air one episode in the morning, the same at night, five days a week. Perfect for catching up.

Promos were hilarious too. I should see if any are online.

Oh, and it was original edit, so it had extra scenes like the different Victoria's Secret ones.

So I caught up on the series quick. Also, what I think really cemented my season 1 and 2 love was they played that set for months at least before switching to the 3/4 season. That highlighted the difference in tone to my POV too I think, and it's why I kinda view them apart still.

But I really got to experience show first this way.

I think I found fandom when starting Livejournal same time the show hit resurgence there. And I happily caught the tail end of Yahoo Groups so got to back read fan stuff there. Missed most of Ray Wars. Yay. There was the 2000's snippets, but everyone was so fun at content creation and love, that was the best take-aways. It made for a great time. I participated in a watch-along! A big highlight of fannishness for me! That's when I saw The Pilot. Or my fav was squeeing about Pizza and Promises.

Just, some of the many wonderful fans like Nina_DS and movies_michelle and duenorthlaurie for episode discussion, and Sdwolfpup, Belmanoir, Aingeal8C as content creators, or Scotchsour, and Lozenger8 who made some banging icons....Truly, there were so many wonderful people, I couldn't even name them all. Due South provided so many wonderful glimpses of other fans to share with. LJ friends were so lovely.

I fell out in LJ world strangely cause I felt kinda outside the fandom wave as it crested I think, not shipping F/K or really loving those seasons as much. And just personally felt not into fannishness as whole after awhile. It's a me thing across everything, not just Due South. I took an internet break for a long time. I still watched the series on tv, with Showcase and TV Tropolis and DejaView lol, and by then DVD often. Along with new TV of course, although not much cause Tumblr me is not too different from old LJ me. Still kept an eye of forums, sometimes, or such, cause I love discussion as you can see by my screeds versus tech/creative skills, but not actively or with comment.

I return cause, I don't know, seeing people express love for the series again is hitting a happy place of nostaglia I think. I had a rough bout with real-life and comfort fannish stuff is reminding life was full of small good moments. The joy of the endearing nature of the show and the spirit of love for it in the fandom is proof of stuff enduring. Joy that it's still on rebranded Showcase here on the weekends lol, even if you never know which season.

And a new vidder made a wonderful F/V fanvid that, timing again as I hit Tumblr, I stumbled into, and just had me crying when I watched at the beauty and love I remembered in the pair. It spoke to my love of them so hard I think it jolted me into thinking hell yea that love deserves happy expression, I can do it too maybe. Sadly they took it down, but yeah, that was the spark, and that's me fannish story.

#due south #f/v #i guess #very long about lol #would love to hear others if willing

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ihatekoalassuck · 6 months

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Ive been thinking about the digital circus cast but with tma entities all day, so here they are:

Pomni- Spiral Victim, she is trapped in this strange place that looks like an old video game and is full of sanity destroying horrors, and she cant remember who she is and why shes here, of course its Spiral. Also i maybe a bit biased but I always associated clowns and circuses with the Spiral instead of the Stranger.

Jax- Hear me out, Lonely Victim. Ofc he spends a lot of time around the other characters but he's not actually treating them like people, more like play things. He never really opens up or acts genuinely to anyone, he just bullies them, and I think separating yourself from the only people around can be very isolating. : )

Ragatha- Buried Victim, this one was pretty hard to figure out because it isn't that obvious, at first I was thinking flesh but I think the Buried fits much better because she seems to be under a lot of pressure carrying the emotional weight of everyone. Shes always trying to help everyone and probably fears messing up even a little bit (Maybe like not fake laughing convincingly enough), because if she does everything will fall apart. I'm thinking Luisa (the strong girl from Encanto) except Ragathas not physically strong and giving into the pressure would have much worse consequences.

Gangle- Stranger Victim, I mean shes literally a comedy mask. Shes constantly going through major mood swings with the comedy mask and all. Thing is we don't really know how much her personality shifts between her masks, but changing suddenly at any time to something you might not even recognize as yourself feels very Stranger to me. There's this thing in my head thats the Stranger but your the Stranger that Johny never used, but I feel like if he did it would be similar to Gangle.

Zooble- Flesh Victim. What do you want from me, they literally, physically switches out their body parts and sometimes falls apart. It's like that one episode where the workout people attach extra arms and mouths and stuff but pg. Also same dude.

Kinger- Spiral Victim, hes insane in cannon. What do you want from me.

Bubble- Slaughter Avatar. Behind his goofy smile and beady eyes is only a barley contained murderous instinct. Do not trust him.

Caine- I don't know. He isn't actively trying to cause fear and he doesn't seem to be scared himself. I lean heavily towards the Web because he controls everything in the circus but he isn't manipulating anyone and they have a choice in whether or not they play (Kinda). Maybe Beholding because he watches everyone? The stranger is also a choice because he acts almost like a human, like an AI pretending to be a person, and that is exactly what he is. We'll probably just have to wait and see.

#tma podcast #tma #the magnus archives #DIG #the amazing digital circus #tadc #tma entities #tma spoilers #tadc pomni #tadc jax #tadc gangle #tadc zooble #tadc kinger #tadc bubble #tadc caine #magnus archives

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mirai-e-jump · 10 months

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Weekly The Television, No. 47 (2002) "Super New Heroes, 7 Consecutive Shots" ft. Various Toku Alumni Short Interviews (translations below)

Publication: November 11, 2002 _

"Passion hidden within his cool gaze" Tetsuji Tamayama (GaoSilver)

"Whether it's TV dramas, movies, or photo books, Tetsuji Tamayama has become very popular. He is currently starring in "Bara no Jujika," playing the role of Kyosuke, a CM director who becomes popular after switching positions with his nephew, Togo. It's a difficult role for him, as he becomes troubled by his secret love for Sumiko, who is Togo's wife."

Tamayama: I'd like to express the depravity of humans when their position and situations change dramatically. I hope I can play out the relationship between Kyosuke and Togo in a way that men can sympathize with.

"In the film "Koi ni Utaeba," he plays the role of Satoru, the ex-boyfriend of Yumi, played by popular actress Yuka."

Tamayama: Everyone, including Takenaka Naoto-san, play such bizarre characters (laughs). I think I might be the only one playing a serious role. However, I wouldn't mind if I could act strangely too.

"Despite your smart appearance, your true colors are often showing."

Tamayama: I don't know if I'm impatient, or just not good at things. Like for example, traveling a long distance just to eat a meal. I'd rather go to a normal restaurant where everything is ready in 15 minutes, than to an Izakaya where the food comes out slowly. I don't want to spend time in places that I think are a wastes of time.

"He's also passionate about acting"

Tamayama: I want to be recognized as an actor. I'd like to challenge myself with a period drama if the opportunity ever arises. Like in Gaoranger, I'd like to experience that kind of world without any prior experience, like the Edo period or the Warring States period.

"A hot and reliable brotherly figure." Noboru Kaneko (GaoRed)

Kaneko: I try to add alot of variety to my performance, as to make sure I don't get bored.

"Noboru Kaneko-san said, describing the joys of acting in a lively manner. Since staring in Gaoranger, he has appeared in multiple dramas and variety shows. He's currently playing a detective in "You're Under Arrest."

Kaneko: I'm alittle worried if I have "the right look." At first, I wanted to portray my character as more of an obnoxious detective, but he's already become such a nice guy (laughs).

"With 7 years of experience as a tennis instructor, he's both athletic and versatile."

Kaneko: People always tell me that I "look like I work out," but I only do push ups at home, and only when I remember to. I'm not a member of any gym, but I sometimes go to my local ward's gym for 400 yen at a time (laughs).

"Fitness seems to be second nature to you."

Kaneko: When I play sports, the first thing I do is image training. I'll picture jumping over the vaulting box or hitting a ball successfully. Image training has also helped me with my acting.

"One of his strengths, is that he can apply his sense of sports into what he plays."

Kaneko: I want to be an actor with a unique style. I don't care if I don't play the leading role, I just want to be the one who will be the most "memorable" after the show ends.

"He's cute enough to want to keep to yourself" Taiyo Sugiura (Ultraman Cosmos)

"Taiyo Sugiura says his role as Musashi in Ultraman Cosmos was his starting point. Recently, he's been appearing on variety shows, including "Midnight Sentai Garinpero" where he serves as one of its MC's. He is active in a variety of works, and is scheduled to make his CD debut next month with his younger brother as a sibling unit."

Sugiura: At first, I didn't think variety was for me, but once you try it, it's alot of fun. I was so happy when I got together with Downtown for the first time on their show "Downtown DX" (laugh). Garinpero is a live show, so I think how it works is that the first person to speak up wins. When speaking live, I use Kansai dialect, because it's easier for me to speak normally than standard Japanese. After this program, I'd like to one day star in a drama with my co-hosts Toshiki Kashu-kun (Agito) and Shioya Shun-kun (HurricaneRed). And then there's the "Winter Special Event: Hot Springs Tour with Everyone" program. Maybe…it'd be alright to just enjoy by myself!?

"Next year, he'll try his hand with theater for the first time."

Sugiura: I came into this world aspiring to become an actor, so I think doing various works will lead me to becoming a successful one. In the future, I'd like to act in movies and play a variety of roles, including cool ones.

"A refreshingly beautiful man with pure eyes." Toshiki Kashu (Kamen Rider Agito)

"Toshiki Kashu-san is set to be an MC for the variety program "Midnight Sentai Garinpero." We can expect to see a different side of him compared to the heroic role he played in "Kamen Rider Agito," which was his breakthrough role."

Kashu: I can learn a lot of things that I have never experienced before, such as presenting in a studio and reporting on location. I used to stay away from anything that I didn't have any interest in. But things have started to change since I became an actor. It's a way of expanding my own world, so I'm looking forward to this program.

"As an actor, he says he is, "not the most distinctive."

Kashu: On the contrary, I've come to think it's probably better that way. I don't want to simply be, "Toshiki Kashyu playing any role," I want to be an actor who can be absorbed into the role. So for now, as I gain experience through various works, and depend on my own talents, one day I'd like to develop my own style. I want to become an actor who can wear any color, carrying around paints of various colors, while always remaining pure white.

"And with that, he showes his determination."

"An "active rider" with a beautiful figure that is a sight to behold!" Takamasa Suga (Kamen Rider Ryuki)

Suga: After being accepted for the role, I told my father, whose response was, "I won't be able to see your face when you become Ryuki!," it was an incredible misunderstanding (laughs).

"Takamasa Suga-kun said. Currently starring in Kamen Rider Ryuki, he looks back on the days when he passed the audition with a nostalgic feeling."

Suga: From the start of filming up until now, things have gone by quick. In the beginning, I would go to the production site, then go home, sleep, and repeat that process every day. I wouldn't even pay attention to what was going on in the world, so I sometimes felt like a recluse. Some have said that the production site of Ryuki is like an all boys school. So from now on, I'm saying, "Let's do training camps and drink for days!" (laughs).

"If we were to compare his co-star, Satoshi Matsuda-kun, to an animal, he says, "A fox! That guy, he's very sharp and smart in almost every way." Suga-kun is also a good looking young man who speaks politely, but what type of woman does he like?

Suga: I'm…actually a really sloppy guy. I get my meals from convenience stores, and my room is always a mess. That's why I'd like to find a firm but caring woman.

"He's also a Kabuki enthusiast."

Suga: I've always loved it, and recently, I've been taking out books to study it more. It's precisely because Kabuki is so difficult that I'm fascinated by it. I hope I can reflect the feeling of Kabuki into my acting.

"A handsome face and smooth voice." Matsuda Satoshi (Kamen Rider Knight)

Matsuda: I'm actually 100 times more cheerful than Ren. When I'm on set, I act like an idiot and am always saying nonsense.

"Satoshi Matsuda-kun said while laughing, he plays the cool Akiyama Ren in Kamen Rider Ryuki. Both his co-stars and he himself admits that he's a lively mood maker. Comparing himself to his co-star Takamasa Suga-kun, he said, "I think we're like cat and dog." He explains, "Sugacchi, who is a very sweet person that is often spoiled, is a dog. I'm a cat because I tend to do things at my own pace."

Matsuda: I like black bass fishing, and on good days, I'll swing about 1,000 casts. During the middle of Winter, I once fished with snow building up on my head. While I'm fishing, I usually call a friend when I have a random though. "What are you up to? Ah, sorry, you see I'm catching fish right now and…" and that's when they'll hang up (laughs).

"At what moment did you feel glad that you became an actor?"

Matsuda: During the filming of the scene where I die in the TV Special, me, Sugacchi, and the rest of the staff were so overwhelmed, that we all started crying. In that moment, I experienced a feeling of unity and joy that I don't think I could experience anywhere else. In the future, I hope to develop a masculine style and atmosphere like that of Takakura Ken-san (famous Showa era actor).

"A gentle, healing "man" full of kindness" Masashi Goda (OhBlue)

With a gentle smile, the charming Masashi Goda-san is currently starring in the drama "Bara no Jujika," passionately playing the role of Junya, a young man who is in love with Aki, a single mother.

Goda: Junya is ready to say to Aki, "I'll take care of you, along with your child," but he really struggles to say it, doesn't he? Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong if the person you love already has children.

"Goda-sans true colors, which seem to overlap with Junya's, is an image that would warmly embrace any woman. When on the set, he's always there to play with the child actors."

Goda: However, if I spoil them too much, they'll say the names of card games and other things I don't know of (laughs). In the past, when I was on location for Ohranger, there was usually a large gathering of children, and as a hero, I couldn't be seen as a bad guy (laughs). I love children, so I'm comfortable playing this role.

"Behind his soft gaze, he reveals his passion for acting."

Goda: Actually, it's not so much "I'd like to play this kind of role," it's more about how much I can expand the role I'm asked to play. That's what I'm more interested in.

"With that, we felt the charm of an adult man in the expression on his face, as he spoke of his sincere thoughts.

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anxiously-going · 16 days

Text

Today was my birthday. And for the first time in a long time, I bought myself a few things simply because it was my birthday.

When I was 12 or so I asked if I could have a few friends spend the night because it was going to be my birthday. I didn't want a whole party or anything, wasn't expecting to do an entire dinner or something. Just hanging out with a couple friends. I was told that as we get older, birthdays aren't really celebrated anymore, outside of big ones like 16 and 18, and for some 21 or 25.

For my 16th I was thrown a surprise party, after asking simply to go to dinner with just one friend, after all, birthdays weren't really celebrated. I dissociated my entire way through the party. The only thing I remember clearly was reminding myself not to let anyone know how disappointed i was that the plans I had asked for had changed. We didn't end up going to the diner I wanted to visit for several years after this.

My 18th was combined with my graduation party, which was fine because graduation parties were common and birthdays aren't really celebrated when we get older.

I was raised religious so my 21st was just a normal dinner out.

My 25th I was surprised yet again. We were just going to dinner because while I didn't think birthdays really were celebrated as we got older, we did have to do something. I was told we'd be doing an escape room. I had what I know recognize as a switching headache, and I was too dissociated to enjoy anything or even be helpful in the game that I wasn't prepared to play.

A few years ago overheard my parents talking about how my childhood home burned down on my birthday. I was never given this information directly.

I always feel shame or guilt on my birthday. I want it to be a good day, but I'm too embarrassed to do anything because birthdays aren't really a thing adults do. I don't want anyone to know because it's not supposed to be a big deal. And I feel embarrassed when they find out and are confused when I don't make a big deal about it, but also I want the positive interaction and attention that comes with it. I see other people excited for their own birthdays and I want to experience that excitement and that joy and I just can't. I'm too embarrassed for wanting anything positive on my birthday to begin with.

Last year I cried because the barista as Dutch bros. wrote "Happy birthday" with a little heart on the lid of my free birthday coffee. I cried because I had been trying to convince myself that it didn't hurt every years to pretend like my birthday meant nothing, when it did. And I was so deeply touched by this stranger's small act of kindness that it was overwhelming.

I've bought things in the past around my birthday under the guise of "birthday gift to me", but really it wasn't that at all. It was just an excuse that I knew was socially acceptable for making expensive purchases.

This year I bought thing on my birthday for the express purpose of it being on my birthday. And that's such a small thing but I think it is a step in the right direction.

Little me still doesn't feel safe at the idea of doing birthday things or asking for birthday things. But adult me can at least see it as a neutral thing. It is normal for people to celebrate their birthdays even if it is in just little ways and I'm starting to see that now.

#screaming into the void #messy thoughts #dont mind me

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regallibellbright · 3 months

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I MIGHT have found what you were talking about regarding Kiel. It wasn't a full-blown confession, but I JUST encountered something he'd never said before wherein he heavily implied and/or started to confess. HOWEVER, it was something along the lines of "I know you already have a lover, but I also… Oops, shouldn't say that!" The line was partially voiced (and not with generic voice clips) even! I was so shocked I talked to him again hoping he'd repeat it, but he instead switched to a generic dialogue about magic. And I sadly don't know if that one line was it or if he might have continued on another day, because this triggered on literally the last day of Dylas' marriage event for me, so I immediately married the next day. I doubt Kiel would confess even if he could when you're fully married to someone else.

Do you remember if you were dating someone else when Kiel confessed?

… Holy shit. Yeah, that sounds REALLY familiar and I was dating at least Dylas and Arthur (and I think also Leon?) when that happened. Kiel confessing was ultimately why I went “yeah, okay, I’ll date all the boys, I want to do Arc Three before I get married if I can anyway,” which is why it left such a firm impression on me as A Thing That Happened. (I also am pretty sure Doug had dialogue at least indicating a crush before I did anything - I semi-think I remember he confessed first as well, but it’s nowhere near as clear to me as Kiel’s since he was the last boy to be added what with the “can’t pass a certain point until Arc Two’s done,” so I’m not sure.)

I had also gotten Kiel’s mini-event(s?) before that point (the ones that don’t span multiple days) - those, at least, have some firm evidence of existing in that Houcha’s Youtube compilations of the different love interests’ events all include at least one mini event. More of them than not have two… but not Kiel or Doug, and I could swear I saw two for both of them. (I think Doug had one taking place in the store in addition to the one on the stairs? I can’t remember a second for Kiel in detail but I feel like there was one. I definitely got the color compatibility quiz, though, and it HAS been a decade. But if I checked Youtube more thoroughly at some time that’s not 4 AM I wouldn’t be shocked if I do find second mini-events for the others.)

Seriously, up until last year I assumed this was a totally normal part of gameplay that just didn’t happen to be on any of the Youtube compilations, and I’d ultimately restarted the game at least once pre-Special hoping to see what Arthur’s would be (since his whole complex about love made me figure a reverse confession would play our VERY differently than the usual.) I figured those mini-events were probably prerequisites (and that’d explain the rarity, since they’re not required for marriage, not formal Events and therefore not really talked about, but are still subject to the wonky event RNG, and by the time you activate them both and presumably get a love interest at high enough LP they’d want to confess to you, you’d probably confessed already. Pretty sure Kiel’s LP was at least a 9 or 10.) And then I never got this after my first playthrough despite getting mini-events, even if I didn’t get quite as far in on them, so when I brought it up and the universal reaction was “… do you not mean reverse proposals?” and bafflement at my belief this was a thing, I wondered if it wasn’t a glitch.

But I’d also wondered, once I realized just how rare this clearly had to be, if maybe they only happen once you’re dating at least one other person. I figured “more than one” seemed more likely, at that, since it’d be another thing that would seriously reduce the number of players who’d ever experience this and therefore make it more plausible no one else seemed to recognize it. (And if it already requires you to date one person, the devs probably assumed you’d be more receptive to the idea of dating another if they’re at least the third, rather than the second.) Maybe it really is necessary. At least for Kiel, and I’m way more certain it happened with him than Doug. Definitely something to test for now that I’m replaying.

Thank you for this information! Seriously I had all but convinced myself I’d imagined everything. (And if the line’s voiced, I should definitely try and record things going forward like I was originally playing.)

#rune factory #rune factory 4 #rf4 reverse confessions #I know the game script’s been dumped somewhere and at some point I should check it out #since that would be the easiest way to tell if these really do EXIST #but I haven’t gotten around to it in part because I convinced myself ‘okay so this was a glitch I guess’#‘and the more interesting thing will be replicating it because I KNOW THIS HAPPENED ONCE’#but. wow. signs I maybe WASN’T misremembering all along.

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suratan-zir · 1 year

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15 questions for 15 mutuals

I was tagged by @vimpse. Thank you! <3

1. are you named after anyone?

Yes, after my great-grandmother, who died when I was a baby. When I turned 16, I also took my great-grandmothers last name, simply because I didn't want to carry my father's last name, and she had the most beautiful last name from my entire family.

2. when was the last time you cried?

Three days ago.

3. do you have kids?

No. I follow the philosophy of antinatalism. While I would love to have children, I believe it would be cruel, especially with my genetics. If I had a choice, I wouldn't want to be born, what if my child grows up and feels the same as I do now?

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

Probably.

5. what sports do you play/have you played?

Never played any sports in my life. I have some breathing problems so physical activity is harder for me than for a healthy person, although I do fitness consistently (lifting and calisthenics) for the first time in my very unfit life. Funny enough, I have the war to thank for that. This winter, when we had blackouts, I was looking for something to do in the evenings, when it's dark, cold and dreary. I tried to do yoga for relaxation, but soon discovered just how weak I was. So I started to include more and more strength building exercises, HIIT workouts, until finally switching to lifting weights. It's amazing how much easier it is not to quit if your goal isn't to lose weight / get bigger butt or flatter stomach, but to get stronger and have fun. Modern society (yes, we're getting into the "society" talk) is trying to convince you, especially if you're a woman, that you should do fitness for looks. I'm sick of seeing all the female-oriented videos on youtube captioned like "get tOnEd muscles for the summer" or "burn belly fat in SEVEN DAYS" (it's impossible btw). Because god forbid you want to actually grow your muscles, not get them "toned", whatever that means. God forbid you want to become stronger or more flexible, not skinnier with a bigger butt. I've never been able to stick to a routine because I hate boring repetitive cardio, and it can be very disheartening to see no change on the scale when your only goal is to lose weight. So I thought I was just not a fitness kind of person. But when you feel your body getting stronger, when you realize that your progress depends only on your efforts, it becomes so exciting and fun.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people?

Voice and smell. I'm autistic, so I almost never look in the face, but even when I do I usually don't register person's appearance very well. For example, I pass by my neighbors every day, but I have no idea what they look like, so I will never recognize them if we ran into each other somewhere else.

7. scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies, preferably with happy endings.

8. any special talents?

I'm very good at remembering song lyrics. And I can immediately think of a song for any situation, any prompt.

9. where were you born?

The most depressing town in Donetsk oblast, Ukraine.

10. what are your hobbies?

Maybe these are not really hobbies but - rats and video games. Also, walking around taking pictures of trees, sky and turtles. lol

11. do you have any pets?

I have two cats, a dog and six rats.

12. how tall are you?

173 cm (5.6)

13. fave subject in school?

Ukrainian and Biology

14. dream job?

None. Well, I would love to have a greenhouse and a small business of growing and selling houseplants.

15. eye colour?

Greyish-bluish-greenish something. Always green when I cry, for some reason.

Seems like everyone I know has already done this? :( Let's see...

@eulaliasims, @userdata, @ho3sferatu

#tagged #tag game #text post #nonsims

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lunarsilkscreen · 7 months

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Two More Zelda Theories (Z1 Timelines)

The first Zelda Game was also the first to introduce "Master Quest". The master quest is like a randomizer before randomizers were a thing. With the intention of making the game more challenging, but still feeling fresh and retain the qualities the designers and devs imposed on the original game.

But there's one way to access the Master Quest without beating the game. (Which is the requirement to unlock it.)

The original Manual says that "The Hero" doesn't exist until you make them. And the original character delete mode sounded more like "unaliving" the main character that you had created.

Which already gives us two endings created by the Devs. Either you beat Ganon, or don't. OR, worse than giving up, you unregister your character. The player (or to Link, God) chooses which ending through these methods.

And then there's the Third; the master quest. Which you unlock either by completing the game, or creating an entirely new character named "Zelda".

This implies that the Master Quest, at least the original one, was taken on by Zelda herself. Which isn't that far off from the actual story written about the game.

Zelda splits the Triforce of Wisdom into pieces, and hides them. And then Link, goes to collect them. This means that Zelda had to go hide them in the first place, and did.

And did so in a different order than Link found them. (possibly even changing how Link has to tackle the dungeons in the process, making them easier to do.)

I've talked on a few other Theories, such as Zelda disguising herself as Link to take on Z2, and Zelda herself being the child referenced in Z64s future timeline who originally played the song of storms for the windmill man. And therefore completed the well sections, releasing Bongo Bongo, but unlike in Link's timeline, didn't kill "Death Hand" who grew up to be Bongo Bongo.

Did I forget to write about that here? Well, since there's no such thing as time loops in Zelda (outside closed ones like Majora's Mask that happen simultaneously and also not at all)

No, the banker doesn't remember Link, he just stamped the amount of rupees he has stored with that bank on his hand. Probably something he does for all the kids there since like ... A hundred rupees is the equivalent of 1 USD. (or rather 1 rupee is equivalent 1 penny or 1 yen) and seriously, if they tried to take him for more than a hundred bucks, he'd notice..because adult wallets only hold like 2 dollars.

In the future timeline, there is no Link. In Z64 there are two possibilities. The first is in Links dream at the beginning of the game, where he sees himself die by Ganon's hand. The Second, when the event actually comes to pass, Ganon just rides past him. He doesn't even recognize him.

These two possibilities give rise to the Future timeline where Zelda is from. And Why Zelda is upset both that Link came to future (and missed out on his childhood) but had to be sent back. To Zelda, this meant one of two things; sending him back to his own death, or to a time where he actually belonged.

Because she *watched* him die.

That means the fairy child in future timeline, was Zelda dressed as Link (or even Shiek) and took on the "Master Quest" herself. The limitations of recreating all the cutscenes means the dev team decided not to.

Or What if, The future Zelda swapped places with Link? (Or even Linkle? If you wanna take it a step further.) And that's why She watched him die. Because Ganon didn't recognize *her*.

I'm not going to go into the implications of Majora's Mask and being about the "Death of Link". Because I think it's about something else entirely. (Overcoming a "failed" timeline.)

The famous final cutscene of Z64 is Link returning to the past to meet with Zelda for a second time.

What if; that's when they switched places.

Because Zelda was killed after her escape.

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bxbu-chuu · 1 year

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Kendall loves to play videogames.

He honestly doesn't know how they became such an important part of his very strict routine but he knew how it all had started. It was a couple of years ago, while hanging out with Stewy, they were at his apartment just sitting around and talking, something they didn't get to do that often- at least since they graduated college. He probably was feeling shitty about something he now can't even remember and ended up calling Stewy, knowing he never would say no to him.

After about half an hour of comfortable silence while a movie played on the ridiculously sized flat screen, more as background noise that anything, Stew pulled out something from his bag and Kendall took a few seconds to recognize the blue and red controllers.

"Is that- what? Is that a fucking switch? My daughter plays with one of those dude. Are you fucking playing animal crossing or- or what?"

Stewy basically ignored him, barely acknowledging his words by sighing while he turned on the console. Kendall scooched closer on the sofa, curiously looking at the console to see a home screen with various games displayed, Stewy chose a game named The Legend of Zelda.

That name didn't mean anything to him, he had only recognized the console because he bought one for each of his kids when it came out. Even if he considered himself somewhat knowledgeable in current trends and slang- out of what he could admit was a desperate attempt to appear cool to others- the videogame world was something no amount of late night googling could make him understand. He wasn't that old, but videogames had always felt like something from outside his world, they felt like something that wasn't meant for him.

"What even is a fucking Zelda dude? How do you have time for this shit? Don't you have things to do?" He insisted, parcially out of curiosity, but mostly wanting Stewy to stop ignoring him.

"It's not like I spend all day sitting around playing this, Ken. We all have some free time, you included." Kendall's eyes were fixated on the screen, watching the character run around a Nordic looking field, but he could tell Stewy wasn't looking at him as he spoke. "You are like- obssesed with you own missery man. You're like a badly written, one-dimensional movie character." Stewy laughed at his own joke and Kendall wasn't paying attention to the game anymore, but he also didn't look at Stewy, or reply to him either. The previous comforting silence between the men had turned tense, and it lingered for what felt like a couple minutes to Kendall but realistically speaking was just a few seconds. "I'm not saying you're boring, but you so spend all your free time thinking about how shitty your life is or doing drugs to stop thinking about it. There's more out there, get a hobby "

Stwey's tone had stayed relaxed and playful, not really thinking of the conversation as anything more than a slightly more intense that usual banter, but what he said stuck with Kendall for the next couple of weeks. At first it manifested in petty resentment, Kendall didn't call or text Stewy at all for the next few days, not replying to his friend's texts checking up on him about that very serious, life altering problem he can no longer remember. He had specifically said he wasn't calling Kendall boring, but to be completely honest that's what it felt like to him, which in retrospective is probably why Stewy had specified in the first place.

After a few days, instead of slowly wearing off like this sort of thing usually did, the anger turned into self -pity and Kendall spent the next week mopping around his office and asking every poor soul that happened to pass by the glass door if they thought he was boring or not, which admittedly wasn't his proudest moment. After many "uhms" and awkward silences he decided enough was enough and started researching consoles on his work computer.

He didn't want to get a switch, even if it would be a nice way to bond with his kids. If he was trying to find his own personal interests maybe copying exactly what his only friend did wasn't the best way to go- he already tried that in highschool. After some googling and a rather enlightening subreddit deep dive he decided on an Xbox and made the purchase.

It took some trial and error at first, he tried playing FIFA despite never having an interest in soccer and unsurprisingly it wasn't very successful, he tried some shooter games and quickly decided maybe online gaming wasn't his thing, he even tried playing Minecraft because Iverson was obssesed with it but he kept getting lost and couldn't find a way back to the houses he built.

He was close to letting it go, forgetting about it completely and telling Stewy he could shove his unsolicited advice up his ass. The console had been abandoned next to the TV, untouched for a couple days. Kendall alternated between looking at it with disappointment and scrolling through the news he was reading on his laptop when he saw a little ad pop up on his screen after clicking on an article. After his research he got a lot of ads for different games and consoles but none of them really caught his eye, except this one. A cartooney city landscape that looked scarily similar to the view outside his window and a bright text that said "City Skylines, build your own city". It sounded stupid. Actually no, it was stupid. Why would anyone want to spend their time creating fake cartoon cities on a computer? He sat back on his chair and thought about the joy of looking around at the gigantic buildings around him and feeling unimportant, about the satisfaction of perfect squares forming one big city. He clicked the ad.

The first night he downloaded the game he stayed awake until 2 AM, building and perfecting a city he had named "Kentown". When he looked at the clock on the bottom of the screen and he realised what time it was he couldn't help but be a little surprised, he had been sitting there for hours, he hadn't felt so relaxed in ages.

When he found out he enjoyed slowpaced, single player games he quickly started to discover other games he enjoyed, platforms, farming and city-building were his favorite and he slowly started to add new consoles to his collection, besides his now beloved PC.

He always followed his routine strictly, it's what's always kept him grounded since he was a little boy, despite always feeling like he was watching his own life from outside like an spectator, not really able to control it in any way. Soon he found a spot for videogames in it, right after his shower and before bed and sometimes on Sunday mornings if he didn't have the kids. He's not really sure if it's sad to admit it or if he would ever actually say it out loud, but it gave him something to look forward to at the end of the day.

And just like that. it became one of the most constant things he had, even when everything around him was changing and breaking and coming back together again and again and again. When he lost his job after the no-confidence vote, when he lost his family after the bear hug, when he lost himself and he lost Stewy after the accident, when he was trying to slowly piece himself back together again, when he set everything on fire once again on that press conference. He knew he could go back home and forget about himself, get lost in a world that wasn't as difficult as the one he was living in.

So now that it's his 40th birthday and Naomi is softly caressing his head with her fingers, he's not surprised when finds himself asking her if she can bring him his switch and stay with him while he plays. She nods and gives him a smile before carefully putting a pillow under his head to replace her thigh and walking into the bedroom to find the console. He sighs, he feels sad and numb but he also can still appreciate the kindness and gentleness she's been showing him all night, even after complaining about her birthday gift, Kendall doesn't think he deserves her.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he reaches under the blanket to get it, there's very few people he has notifications on for, so it must be important in one way or another. The thoughts about not deserving Naomi intensify when he instinctively looks up to make sure she's still out of sight when he reads Stewy's name on the screen. Kendall's pretty surprised to see that he texted him, after some deliberation he had decided not to invite him to the party, fueled by fear of getting rejected and not being able to cope with it. He opens the text.

"Happy Birthday. Come get your gift when you have the guts to talk to me"

Attached was a picture of what Kendall easily recognized as Stewy's living room table, he had done enough lines off it to know it by tact alone. There were two controllers on it, one plain and black -the one he had always seen Stewy use- and the other a familiar shade of green with a letter K on it, he smiled a little.

"That's some corny shit dude"

"I guess I'm feeling sentimental, birthdays have that effect on me sometimes"

Kendall typed a couple of replies, from "Thanks" to "I miss you" to a long paragraph apologizing for everything that had happened between them, but in the end he just tucked the phone back in his pocket and waited for Naomi to come back.

He had meant to go visit Stewy earlier, he really did, but as usual his own life had different plans than him and now he's standing at Stewy's apartment door, still wearing his white shirt and his sand stained pants, completely jetlagged and exhausted from the flight back from Italy.

Kendall's met with a familiar poker face and a delightfulyl messy head of brown curls when Stewy opens the door, wearing his pajamas.

"You wanna show me who that Zelda chick is now or what?"

#kendall roy #autistic kendall #autistic kendall roy #video games #kendall x stewy #stewy hosseini #naomi pierce #character study #kenstew #kenstewy #succession kendall #hbo succession #succession

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