#I keep seeing this shit spread about by ppl who are too afraid of aging | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

autismserenity · 7 years

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aphobes and other REGs base their whole ideology on abuse/abuse apologism for it to work. that's why they re-traumatized me and gaslighted the fuck out of me when i was speaking about my abuse & conversion therapy. that's why they engaged in every single fucking technique- gaslighting, mockery, invalidation, harrassing, suicide baiting/threatening, etc- that my abusers did. they're just getting nastier & ppl are noticing that their whole movement is based on being abusive or enabling our abuse.

and i’m glad people are realizing that. it took them doing drastic measures like hacking blogs, doxxing, smear campaigns and having the backing of hundreds of terfs for a lot of people to realize their movement is inherently abusive, even if an aphobe is not being outwardly abusive themselves- if they stand for the hatred of our identities, our exclusion and aphobe ideology, they’re enabling our abuse, always, and they’re abuse apologists, always. and i’m SO GLAD you’re talking about itbtw you don’t have to publish this if you don’t want, but i’ve been dealing so bad with suicidal ideation and my trauma from tumblr REGs who thought it was funny to shit on an abuse victim- i’ve literally never been gaslighted so much in my fking life, and i have lapses in memory now bc of it and i question things, so i go to your blog to check i’m not making it up, and i’m glad you stand with us and you’re for pointing out how gross their abusive behaviour is bc it makes me feel safer

yiiiikes. i’m sorry that is happening to you!! you’re not the only one who has talked about having suicidal ideation from The Discourse.

i’ve seen a lot of “how dare people compare our discourse to emotional abuse/gaslighting, i am an emotional abuse survivor and this is nothing like that” on the exclusionist side.

and it bugs me a lot because, first of all, you can absolutely abuse someone as an abuse survivor and the only counterargument I ever see is, “gaslighting means deliberately telling someone their reality isn’t real and nobody’s doing that.” and sure: a lot of the time, it’s not intentional, people are just WRONG. but also, there is a lot of direct contradiction of ace and/or aro experiences. i’ve seen so many people flat-out say things to people like, “that’s not why you were raped.”

(Pro tip to exclusionists from someone whose special interest is communication: if someone tells you they were raped for being ace, and you don’t think that can possibly be why, instead of saying “that can’t be why,” try saying, “why do you think that was because you were ace, and not just because you were a woman who said no?”

i have seen so many stories where the answer is “because I’m a man” or “because we had been dating and not having sex for ages and this only started when i said I was asexual” or “because we weren’t dating and sex wasn’t on the table and they specifically were attacking me physically because they heard I was asexual”.)

and there are other examples too, like the smear campaigns against different inclusionists, which try to spread the idea that CSA survivors are “pedophile apologists,” and that Jewish bloggers are anti-semitic, and on and on. which is blatant and deliberate gaslighting.

and second of all, like you point out, the constant mockery, invalidation, and harassment, etc are also absolutely emotional abuse, and it’s really widespread and awful. and as an abuse survivor of various kinds, i get really fucking tired of the tendency among many abuse survivors to minimize abuse.

it’s like, so many of us who experienced gaslighting want to say that making fun of someone is not emotional abuse because it’s not bad enough, or people who were raped often want to say that sexual harassment isn’t abuse because it’s not bad enough. we want to claim that only the biggest and most blatant stuff is abuse.

maybe because we are afraid of other people telling us that what happened to us wasn’t bad enough if we don’t make a huge show of drawing the line between Egregious and just Really Fucking Damaging. plus it let us keep acting out our own anger on other people without facing how we are keeping the cycle of abuse going.

it’s very compelling, i get why people do it, but it’s not okay. and it’s basically the underlying thing that powers gatekeeping. it’s the same thing: we think, “someone who experiences THAT doesn’t have it as bad as I DO,” and then instead of looking at our commonalities, we shove them out as hard as we can. regardless of how wrong our perception is. Same thing happens to bi people and nb people, which is why you see so much of that come up in The Discourse. Everything is centered around “people were terrible to me, so only people who i think have had it this bad belong.”

#rape #suicide #emotional abuse #depressing discourse #wall of words

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kampasaur-blog · 6 years

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MY CITY IS BEING DESTROYED BY CHILDREN

So im picking up my son from monroe elementary after his bus ride home from camp. Bus arrives. I get out of the car and immediately i notice nearly all of the children, some with large bright red marks on both of their cheeks, sobbing so inconsolably that they could not breathe. Some were runnin away from the bus frantically lookin for their parents and some were already clutching their parents tightly and bawling, burying their lil tear soaked faces into their parents stomachs. they kept saying "please i dont ever wanna go back there, i dont wanna do this again, dont make me do this anymore, i was so scared, i didnt know what to do" let me tell you....these babies had the most traumatized faces ive personally ever seen on a kid and it just broke me. At this point i am very confused, concerned, and alarmed. my instincts kick in to try and help a little so i try to comfort some of em. im askin other parents what happened, but they understandably couldnt pay me attention as im sure their minds were probably as lost in all of this as mine. I keep aimlessly sayin wtf is going on and why is everybody crying like this. I start askin some of them if theyre hurt or if there was an accident but they couldnt even speak cuz they were too hysterical. Im trying to calm some of them down a bit like "hey its ok baby dont cry ur ok ur safe." still friggin looking around for adults who arent too absorbed in this mess to ask them wtf is happening. at the same time im searchin for my own kid in the crowd tellin ppl "hey, i cant find my son! is there another bus coming?!" A little girl said no this is the only one. So now im REALLY WORRIED. WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CHILD?! I run into a kid nate knows. him and a little girl are shouting, to what seems like essentially nobody in particular, about having the police called on them by the driver and that they coulda been tossed in juvi. (Honestly they should have been tossed in juvi! this particular kid brought a knife to camp and steals shit constantly from the kids at school especially my son) Grabbed his shoulder and said "calm yourself down and look at me! why?! what happened?! was there a fight? were u involved? Was nathan involved? Where is he??" The boy, (still shouting for some damn reason even tho he is right in front of me), says no nathan wasnt involved. He doesnt know where he is. (Turned out he knew where he was but lied cuz just minutes prior he threatened to beat him up and tried punching him, the little fucker, but staff grabbed his arm midswing) Then he tells me that almost the entire bus was gettin into fight after fight and there were kids punching, slapping, verbally abusing other kids, a lot of whom did nothing to warrant the abuse and continued being abused repeatedly for almost the ENTIRE 3 FUCKING HOUR RIDE, by much older kids whom they were afraid to defend themselves against. I was like "omg this is terrible. where in the hell is my son!" Some guy finally says "they are keepin some kids with staff up by the front of the bus" so i literally gotta force my way thru people who's kids were still hanging off of them in fear. now im crying, other parents are crying, some are screamin at the children who beat up their kids and the children who beat up their kids were screamin at them..... FINALLY.... I find nate. He had been slapped in the face by a 12 yr old girl but he was alright. they had made prior note of his behavioral disorder and quickly got him away from the situation while on the bus and sat him by camp staff. thank goodness. Im asking him, "are u ok?! did anyone hit u?!" before he can answer, suddenly i see an enraged mother almost attack an older girl who hit her kid in the head. The girl is shouting at the jefferson staff member who stepped in AND the mother. She yells out that she hit her in the head, at first, then 2 seconds later she says she didnt, and shouts "yea yea lady! bye bye! fuck off! shut up!!! i didnt hit her!! quit runnin ur damn mouth!! Shut your mouth!!". My. Jaw. Dropped. I saw her gramma or whoever she was doing absolutely nothing about this little shits behavior, actually trying to get the staff to stop speaking to her and leave her alone, and thats when i just plain SNAPPED. When i say snapped folks i mean i damn near deadass rowdy roddy pipered this child. It took every muscle i had to stop that train from derailing. I was pissed. Told her shes an awful disrespectful little shit and will go no where in life with that bullshit. She was like "thank u! Thanks bye! BYE!" Thats when i probably should have split. But i didnt. Conveniently forgot how to adult for a minute there. My bad! She was a repugnant little fart sniffing booger eater who felt a lil too validated from decking a much smaller kid in the head and just, just....fuck THAT... Then i word barfed. "good riddance to bad rubbish youre an awful AWFUL child and should be ashamed of yourself. Shame on you!" i looked at her gramma and shouted "good luck with your apparent lack of being able to deal with that mess of a child! Shes terrible! You have failed!" then basically i walked away tellin her shame on her for sucking. ****************************** A 16 yr old was shot n killed recently. A pastor was shot and killed recently. We got all ages of unsupervised kids vandalizing everything in site. Kids shootin off guns in parkin lots, stealin vehicles n crashin into buildings. breakin into cars 4 valuables or just breakin the windows cuz they feel like it. We got kids having knife fights n runnin round with gd knives, tellin other kids theyre gonna cut em or kill their siblings if they dont hand over cell phones money bikes hover boards u name it. Kids breakin into ppls homes. Kids stealing n vandalizing walmart 2-3 times a day. Kids stealin carts bringing em here and pushing each other around into ppls cars n then they run away. They beat on my son at school n bully him all the time stealin his things verbally abusing him. He got beat up by teenagers just playin with his toys in the backyard! Theres just hoards of em. Never supervised or disciplined. Not once have i seen the parents of any of the kids causing problems in my apt complex regardless of whether theyre 6 or 16. sumtimes theyre out there in the parkin lots screwin around til 2 am. They plain as day are simply not being parented and have no guidance. Sum of these piece of crap parents just dont wanna have the responsibility of raising their own kids period. Sum of em run away n their parents dont see em for days weeks months but never report em missing cuz they dont care. Theyre out there sleepin in abandoned sheds houses alleys parks n gotta steal their food. 12 yr olds smokin pot and having sex in ppls yards. Even when they mess up n end up at the police station n the police either cant even find their parents or they do n theyre told "i aint dealin with it find something to do with em urself" juvenile hall is FULL. There is no where to put them. And they just run away from annie whittenmeyer n nobody does anything. Im dead tired and fed up. I hate living here and im stuck. We dont feel safe anywhere. My kids cant have friends cuz u cant trust the kids nor their parents. Nate had a lil 9 yr old buddy next door and he would come to play n his mom would just leave n lock the door without saying shit to anyone not even him. He'd go home n come back like "nobody is over there" so i had no choice but to keep him with me even if i had shit to do or it was 10 pm n we wanted to go to bed. We have GOT to spread the word about this shit and try n get sum awareness. This is a crisis we are having in the qc. Im sick of the ever escalating crime here. I dont encourage ANYONE to move here. And i absolutely hate that i gotta raise my kids around this. Create a discussion about it. Get involved. if ur readin this n u kno ur kids causing mayhem but still u do nothin dont do right or make excuses then u better recognize UR JUST AS MUCH OF A PROBLEM. if u arent gonna give enuff of a shit about ur own offsprings lives 2 check n change urself then get u n ur kid the hell out of my city n away from me n mine!!

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