#I lent my copy to an acquaintance and never got it back

[trash-writes]

hey darl, since you opened the requests i'd love to make one! a little fic where jon is just constantly bumping into this one gal in the library to the point they worked up a routine and basically come there every week, same hour, both of them really not coming to read anymore but just to meet up and talk, and jonathan working up the courage to finally ask her on a real date? i'm so sorry if this doesn't make sense, i seem to have lost the ability to form coherent sentences lmao

It’s totally fine and thank you so much for being my first request! I hope you like it and don’t mind that I didn’t do reader insert since I’m not good at those. Enjoy!

It’s well known that the Gotham City library is home to thousands of books on thousands of subjects, so it isn’t unusual for a gothamite to come across a rogue or two while browsing for a new book to read. Of course nobody ever really does anything out of fear of being attacked or pursued by said rogue, and so the library at some point became a sort of neutral ground between the civilians and the villains (cops not included).

----

It started with a book.

All Jonathan wanted to do was find something new to read since his collection at the hideout was getting boring. While it was normal for his acquaintances to be approached in one way or another by civilians, people tended to steer clear of him, and he honestly couldn’t have it any other way. Of course, all good things have to come to an end at some point or another, and for him, it consisted of a four hundred page copy of Rebecca to be dropped just inches away from hitting him.

“I’m so sorry! Oh my god, are you alright? Did I hit you?” A female voice came from the other side of the bookshelf as a hazel eye peered at him through the small gap between two books before vanishing. He could hear said person scrambling to get down from whatever they were standing on as they obviously began to rush over to his side of the bookshelf, presumably to apologize once more and retrieve the book that they had just almost dropped on him. Within moments he was staring down at the woman’s curly mop of hair while she picked up the book, still apologizing. “I’m so so so sorry! I swear, being short is a curse considering the fact that they seem to put all of the good books on the top of the shelf! Are you alright? Did I hit you? Wait I already asked that-” She cut herself off when she stood back up and looked up at Jonathan with crooked glasses, “oh, you’re Dr. Crane!”

He gave a small smile (that he quickly got rid of) when she addressed him by his title instead of his villain name, and upon noticing what book she had picked up he decided to respond instead of just walking away like how he originally intended. “Yes, I am. Might I ask who you are?” 

This seemed to make her somewhat happy considering the fact that she smiled while fixing her glasses. “I go by Kat, with a ‘k’ of course because apparently everything has to be spelled weirdly for some reason, it actually started as just a nickname from one of my friends. I don’t really know why they began calling me that seeing how my name had no ‘kat’ in it and I honestly think that they just started calling me that to see how long it would take for me to correct them, which I obviously haven’t done yet considering the fact that I actually changed my name to...Oh sorry! I’m rambling aren’t I?” The woman who he now knew went by ‘Kat’ glanced up at the clock on the wall before looking around and grabbing a book off of the shelf, thrusting it into his hands before rushing off. “Sorry, If I don’t hurry I might miss my bus! I recommend this though! Most people think that it’s just for kids but it’s still really good. Have a nice day!” 

With that, she was gone and Jonathan Crane was left with a copy of Coraline in his hands. Raising an eyebrow, he read the flap copy before shrugging and continuing his search for more books, keeping the one that she gave to him as he went to leave.

-----------------

It didn’t take long for Jonathan to finish his stack of books, and so he returned to the library the following week to get more. He would never admit to anyone that he read the book that the woman from last week (Kat, he remembered) gave him, and he would also never admit that he found it interesting. 

That promise to himself went out the window the moment he bumped into her, well, more like almost tripped over her considering the fact that she was seated on the floor while looking at the books on the very bottom of the shelf.

“I’m so sorry! Are you alri-Oh it’s you! How are you? Did you like the book? I know a lot of people say that it’s just for kids but I think it’s really good and I thought that maybe you might like it, of course everyone has different tastes when it comes to books so may-Sorry, I’m rambling again.”

To be honest, Jonathan didn’t mind the rambling, in fact, he found it a little cute, but that was something that he would never tell anybody. “No no, it’s fine. The book was good and I really liked the ide-are those….pumpkins on your glasses chain?” He asked, leaning forward a tad bit to get a closer look and he was in fact correct. Kat had little jack-o-lanterns on her glasses chain. How cute.

“Oh....well….yes. My other chain broke last week after it got caught on something on the bus. I don’t really wear this one unless it’s September or October but I couldn’t find any of my other chains and so I decided to just go ahead and use this one. Besides, who doesn’t like Halloween?” Her eyes widened once she remembered who she was talking to and she began to fiddle with the book that she had in her hands, opening and closing it nervously.

Chuckling at her nervous behavior, Jonathan held a book out to her. “Relax. I don’t intend to cause any trouble today, and yes, Halloween is nice. By the way, I recommend this to read.” 

With a smile, Kat took the book and thanked him before gesturing to a small and slightly hidden reading area. “Care to join me Dr. Crane? It’s fine if you don’t want to, I just thought that maybe since I don’t actually have anywhere to be this time that mayb-”

“I’d love to.”

-----------------

This went on for a while, the two of them meeting up at the library to exchange book recommendations and sometimes read together, and as time went on they began to read less and talk more. Over time Jonathan began to learn small things about Kat, like how she was a student at Gotham University (“You know I used to teach there.”), how she was currently getting her masters in professional writing, and her love for rats (which he only found out about when she brought a small bag that she revealed to have her pet rat in).

It didn’t take long for Jonathan to realize that he was slowly falling in love with Kat. He couldn’t ignore the way his heart sped up whenever she suggested that they go sit, or how it jumped whenever her hand brushed against his when she pointed to something that she found exciting. Eventually, he found himself talking about her to Edward, who would just get annoyed and say that he should just ask her out. 

The idea of asking Kat out was one of the few things that made him worry. What if she rejected him or only thought of him as a friend? He couldn’t possibly live with just being her friend. She was his Mistress of Fear! He needed her! It took a lot of convincing from Edward, but he eventually decided that he would ask her out the next time that they meet up.

-----------------

Sitting in his usual seat at the library, Jonathan looked at the clock on the wall every so often while he waited for Kat to show up. 

Ten minutes passed, then fifteen, and eventually thirty as he waited nervously. What if she decided that she didn’t want to associate with him anymore due to his status as a villain? It hadn’t been an issue before but maybe something happened that changed her mind? Thankfully his worries were put to rest when he noticed her walk up and sit in her usual seat next to him.

“I’m so sorry I’m late Jonathan! I had to go to the bank to straighten some things out with my account and I got caught up in a robbery because apparently everyone thinks that they can rob a bank, then my bus got stuck in a traffic jam because Poison Ivy apparently escaped today and so the GCPD were checking every vehicle to make sure that she wasn’t hiding in one, which honestly I think is kind of stupid because why would she hide in some random person's car or on the bus when she hates people so much? It’s much more logical that she would immediat-Oh I’m rambling again, aren’t I?” Kat stopped talking and reached into her bag to pull out the book that Jonathan had earlier lent her from his personal collection and held it out to him, “thank you for letting me borrow this!”

With a smile he took the book and sat it on the small table between him, “it’s no problem Kat, I was honestly surprised that you had never read this one before considering the fact that it’s so popular with fans of the horror genre. By the way, I have a quick question for you.” This was it, this was the moment where he would ask her out. There was no backing out of this now.

“Would you want to go to dinner sometime?”

“Do you want to go out for coffee?”

Jonathan looked at Kat with wide eyes, who in turn was looking at him with equally wide eyes.

“Did you just-”

“Are you-”

Kat covered her mouth and nodded eagerly before lowering her hand and grinning. “We both had the same idea, didn’t we?”

“More or less.”

#batman #dc comics #jonathan crane x reader #jonathan crane #jonathan crane x oc #scarecrow #scarecrow x oc #scarecrow x reader #batman rogues

[the-magnus-archives-archiver]

Lost and Found

Case: 0120606

Name: Andre Ramao Subject: A series of misplaced objects lost over the course of three months Date: June 6th, 2012 Recorded by: Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London

Thank you for lending me your pen. I thanked you when you handed it to me, but I don’t know if you’ll remember. I wonder, will you... forget you lent it to me and believe that it was my pen all along? Maybe instead you’ll forget that I ever had one to begin with, and think of me as an idiot who turned up to give a statement without a pen, so you had to lend me yours. My own fault for putting it down, really. Assuming I did ever have one. I’ll try to keep a slightly closer hold on this one.

I’ve been in the antiques business for a long time. It’s not what it used to be. 

[Nervous chuckle] 

I’m sorry, I know. I always did that, try to make myself feel more comfortable with jokes. There’s a follow up to that one, you know. Something along the lines of the joke being so old only an antiques dealer would be able to sell it. I love that one; I think it’s clever, but in my whole life it’s only ever gotten a laugh once. That’s why I remember buying the vase so clearly. I remember that the seller laughed. 

In the old days, I never would have considered buying wares from the likes of Mikaele Salesa. He has a good reputation for quality, but a... bad reputation for legality, as it were. I’ve had more than one acquaintance sell on a particularly valuable find they got from him, only to discover that it didn’t have proper import papers, or that it had been reported stolen years before. Charlie Miller even did some jail time over a Georgian brooch he bought off him, so as a general rule I’d have given Salesa’s stuff a wide berth, but... Well, the antiques business isn’t what it used to be. That isn’t a joke. I had to close up my shop a few years ago, you see. Actual antiques don’t sell to the mass market anymore. Oh, young people will snap up vintage clothes or have any number of cheap faux-antique replicas strewn about their living rooms, but as soon as they get a look at the price tag for the real thing? They’re out of there like a shot.

So I went the same way as a lot of my peers. Lose the premises, start selling only high-margin goods direct to specific clients who can afford them, or shift a few guaranteed sellers on the auction. It’s the only real way to stay afloat in the business nowadays, but the competition is intense, and getting the calibre of artefact you need has become a more cutthroat affair. I’m not the only one in the business to recently soften their attitude towards buying from people like Mikaele Salesa.

It was my first meeting with him, back in March, and I was nervous, so I told my joke. Just off- hand, almost a reflex. I didn’t expect any reaction, really, I... I certainly didn’t expect him to laugh. But he did, this sudden, deep, throaty laugh that seemed to come out of nowhere. He didn’t say anything afterwards, just continued discussing business. But it stayed with me. There was nothing particularly strange about the laugh, not really. Why do I remember it so clearly?

Salesa was taking me through his ‘showroom’. There was a fancy-looking sign above the door, but it didn’t do much to hide the fact that it was basically a warehouse. More of the antiques were still in their packing crates, and I couldn’t help making a note of how quick and easy it would be for him to pack everything down and disappear if he needed to. Still, I’d made a few good purchases already and was cautiously optimistic. I’d bought a pair of cavalry sabres from the Revolutionary War, absolutely excellent condition, and a British artilleryman’s tunic from World War I, a few other bits and pieces as well. I recall I felt a moment of relief that I didn’t deal in books, as I caught sight of several crates packed to the brim with heavy-looking volumes. I was looking for something big, though. Something that would make an actual dent in the mountain of debt I’d been piling up. 

I found it in that old Chinese pot. From the Jiajing period, so Salesa said, and the construction seemed to back him up. The glaze and the workmanship fitted with mid-to-late Ming dynasty, but there was something... off about the actual design. Instead of the pictures or scenes common to the ceramics of the period, the blue glaze was painted on in crisp, thin geometric lines. They repeated perfectly and seemed to get smaller and more intricate the closer I looked, but the shapes they formed never lost any of the precision, seeming to continue on however closely I looked. The effect was disorientating, and made the vase seem smaller than it actually was. It made my head hurt a bit when I looked at it for too long. It was amazing.

When he saw me staring, Salesa clapped me on the back and named a price that almost made me choke. We haggled a bit, and eventually reached a price I considered only a little bit unreasonable. I hurried my purchases home, feeling slightly soiled by my visit to the warehouse, and very much hoping it would be a good few months, if not years, before I was in such dire straits that I needed to go again. I got home, had a shower and some food and immediately started to look into finding a buyer for my latest acquisitions. I remember I was planning to make a few calls, but my headache got so bad that I had to have an early night.

The problems started soon after. It was little things at first. Like my shoes. I’m not a particularly fashion-conscious man at the best of times, so I have three pairs of shoes. Comfortable loafers for everyday use, a pair of walking boots for hiking, and some well-shined, polished, leather brogues for fancier events. Well, I had a rather upmarket auction that I needed to attend, so I went to put on my nice shoes, but they were nowhere to be found. Not the shoes, not the box I kept them in. Instead there was bag containing two shirts that I know for a fact I threw away the year before. When I asked my husband, David, about it, he told me point blank that I had never had any such shoes. Claimed I always wore my loafers when I went to auctions or parties. 

I know that compared to some of the ghost stories you must hear in this place, a pair of misplaced shoes seems perfectly trivial, but something felt so... wrong about the whole situation. In the end I did go in my loafers. I don’t remember if anyone at the auction noticed.

It was about a week later that I got the invoice from Salesa. It was a pleasant surprise, far less than I thought we’d agreed on. That feeling lasted until I looked through the itemised list and realised why the cost was so low. He hadn’t charged me for the Ming. I’ll admit that I was somewhat conflicted over whether to raise the issue, but in the end I decided that even if Mikaele Salesa did work with thieves, I was not going to be counted among them. So I phoned him to try and explain the mistake.

He seemed to be in a fine mood when he answered the phone, and asked me if I’d had a chance to try out the sabres yet, which I’m pretty sure was a joke. I told him that there was an item he’d missed off the invoice, and he said that no, everything had been double-checked and was correct. I was getting suspicious at this point, and thought he might be trying to pull a fast one of some sort with me, maybe get me to take the blame for some illicit scheme gone wrong. I told him so in no uncertain terms, and described our encounter and the vase in minute detail. He was quiet for a few seconds, and then asked me if I could send him a photo of the pot. His tone was different, and he sounded oddly wary when he made the request. I was very on edge by this point, but could come up with no good reason not to agree, so I took a few pictures with my phone and sent them through to him.

It was a long time before he spoke again, and when he did he sounded... different. Almost scared, I thought. He told me that I could keep it. No charge. I began to protest again, but he ignored it. I remember his exact words: “I do not remember having that thing, which means it belongs to you.” Then he hung up. 

This was all very strange, of course, but even then I wasn’t worried. Not like I should have been.

It was my book next. A signed copy of Catch-22, my favourite book. Vanished from its place on my bookshelf, leaving only an empty space behind. David just gave me another blank stare when I asked him about it. I admit I almost lost it at him then. Shoes were one thing, but that book meant a lot to me. I accused him of playing some stupid joke, and tried to remind him what I’d gone through to get it, flying over to America for Joseph Heller’s last book tour, queuing for hours and then that dreadful evening I thought that sudden rainstorm had ruined it all. By the end he was looking... very alarmed indeed and started to ask me how I was feeling. He wanted to know if I’d been under a lot of stress at work, if there was anything I wanted to talk about. I left.

Maybe he was right. Maybe I am crazy. It makes a lot more sense, doesn’t it? It would make it neat. Except no. No, I would need to have gone mad a long, long time before this for the idea of it being in my head to hold up. My perceptions are the only ones I can trust. Maybe. I don’t know.

This went on for months. The tie I got for my last birthday, my grandfather’s teapot, the tunic I bought from Salesa, things just kept going missing, and every time David would tell me that whatever it was didn’t exist. Or it wasn’t mine. Or I was misremembering. For a while I thought he was actually trying to gaslight me, make me think I was losing my mind, but when the tunic went missing I called Salesa again. This time he laughed when he told me that he didn’t remember selling any World War I items to me on my visit. I checked the invoice, and it was no longer listed there. Just empty, accusing paper where the words had been.

I know these things were real. I know they existed. Why won’t anyone just believe me? 

This is where I started to come undone a bit. To be honest I don’t think anyone would do much better in my situation. I hadn’t made any connection between the old Chinese pot and the disappearances. I mean, why would I? But I also hadn’t been able to sell it. Whenever I tried, something would get in the way. The other person would forget to send through a crucial email, or they’d stop responding. Once I managed to get it as far as posting it out to a buyer, but it was returned immediately with a note asking why it had been sent to her. Gradually, I began to get suspicious of the thing. Sitting there, with its cascading, maddening patterns in that vile cobalt blue. Trying to tell me that I things didn’t exist, that they hadn’t vanished when I know they have.

I took to watching it. I wasn’t getting much sleep and David was worried sick about me. I know he was talking to various doctors about getting me help. There were certainly a couple of points I was worried about him having me sectioned. None of it helps in the end.

It was about a month ago. I had placed the vase in the centre of the table, and was sat staring at it. Keeping an eye on it. Checking for... god knows what. This had been my ritual for the previous week, keeping my vigil into the small hours, but that night... that night I fell asleep in front of it. I don’t remember my dream. Running, maybe? I know I woke with a start sometime around 2 in the morning. As I tried to rub the sleep from my eyes, I heard a sound from the table in front of me. It was the dull thump of a heavy book hitting the tabletop. I looked and, sure enough, there was my copy of Catch-22, just lying there in front of that strange ceramic thing. And not just my book, there was a small pile of objects around the base. My shoes, a tie, things I don’t even remember losing. One by one they rose up out of the mouth of the vase and tumbled to the table. It didn’t matter how big they were, they all seemed to fit.

And then came the moment when everything had been disgorged. I saw all the things that I had lost, and I thought it must be over. It must be done. What else could possibly come of there? And I saw the pale shapes of long, thin fingertips begin to creep above the lip of the pot. I remember thinking that it couldn’t be a normal person living in that pot, because the fingernails were too dirty. Isn’t that an odd thing to think at a time like that?

I ran, of course. Turned around and sprinted out of the door and into the street and didn’t return until morning. Maybe I should have called the police, but I was in no state to do much of anything except shiver under a tree for hours. David was gone. I allowed myself some brief hope that maybe he’d just left me, maybe he’d escape with just a divorce. But no. One call to the housing association confirmed that, as far as they were concerned, I’d always lived alone. 

I want to smash that thing. I want to dash its maddening patterns to the ground and stomp on it until there is nothing left but powder. But it’s also disappeared, of course. I can’t find it anywhere. It’s still taking things, though. Sorry about your pen.

Archivist Notes: 

Before I dig too deeply into the background of this statement, I feel I should mention something that puts much of it in a slightly different light. Tim actually managed to find a copy of Mr. Ramao’s marriage licence. It exists, is signed, dated and official, and half of it is blank. Only Mr. Ramao’s details are on the document, and if it wasn’t for the context of this statement, it would appear he was married to nobody. But he was married.

This is not the first time Mikaele Salesa’s name has come to the attention of the Institute. Even discounting the incidental role he played in case #0112905, he appears to have something of a knack for locating objects displaying more... disconcerting phenomena. I believe some of the more bizarre things in the Artefact Storage area were purchased from him. It has been something of a—

[Urgh. Urgh.

[SOUND OF CHAIR SCRAPING]

I see you...

[THUMP... THEN SOUND OF COLLAPSING SHELVES] [NOISES OF EXCLAMATION] [DOOR OPENS]

Sasha: Alright?

Archivist: Ah... Yeah. A... spider.

Sasha: A spider?

Archivist: Yeah. I tried to kill it.... the shelf collapsed.

Sasha: I swear, cheap shelves are... Did you get it?

Archivist: Ah... I hope so. Thinks so. Nasty, bulbous looking thing.

Sasha: [Chuckles] Well, I won’t tell Martin.

Archivist: Oh, god. I don’t think I could stand another lecture on their importance to the ecosystem.

[SHUFFLING NOISES]

What?

Sasha: Look.

Archivist: Oh... uh... Got dented when the shelf collapsed, I guess.

Sasha: No, it, it goes right through. I, I thought this was an exterior wall?

Archivist: It should be.

Sasha: Hmm. I, I think it’s just plasterboard.

[LOW NOISES OF DEBRIS]

Do you see anything?

[QUIET, BUILDING SOUND OF WET WRIGGLING]

Archivist: No, I don’t think so, it...

[WORM SOUND INTENSIFIES]

Sasha, run. RU—]

#the magnus archives #magnus archives #MAG #MAG38 #MAG 38 #LostAndFound #Lost and Found #Statement #Mikaele Salesa #The Spiral #The Distortion #The Twisting Deceit

[goldlink44]

Top 10 Games of 2016

Wow, what a great year for games (and not much else…). Seriously, though, 2016 produced some of the most fun gaming experiences that I’ve ever had. There was emotional wrenching, arcadey shooters, and games that put a smile on my face throughout their duration. I didn’t think that I was going to compile a list of my top ten games, as I wasn’t sure that there were 10 games that I could expound upon. But upon reflection, I found quite a few that I remember very fondly.

That said, there were also a bunch of games that won’t make the list for various reasons. Her Story and Until Dawn came out last year, but are both very very good for what they seek to accomplish.

I don’t own Hyper Light Drifter or Thumper, but they both look amazing and I can’t wait to play them in 2017.

I bought Inside, Oxenfree, Dishonored 2, and Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End, but haven’t put much time into any of them for me to have any strong feelings that I could back up.

Rimworld is still in early access, but shows some of the most promise I’ve seen in an indie game in years.

Orwell narrowly missed the list, but it is amazing in its own right. It’s a lot like one of my other favourite games from recent years, Papers, Please! but uses social media as its interface, and makes it fun to investigate potential law breakers. You can see my full review of it here. 

And so, without further adieu, here’s my Top Ten Games of 2016!

10. Battlefield 1

I learned all about the atrocities that occurred from 1914-1918 when I travelled with my family to The Netherlands and Belgium on a cycling trip that literally took us through the Western Front. It was humbling to see how, 100 years later, the land and the people never forget the seemingly pointless orders sending millions of men to their graves. I gained an appreciation, not only for the soldiers and support personnel that occupied that area of Europe during WWI, but also for the beauty of the land that was torn asunder from the battles.

Returning home weeks before BF1’s release, I was anticipating reviews, knowing that DICE can render fantastic environments and realistic war scenery. Most people were positive on the game pre-release, so I picked up a copy, and was not disappointed. The game is gorgeous, nailing the scenery of what I had seen first-hand, and depicting other fronts of the war in stunning detail. The campaign is incredibly well handled, showcasing the human stories behind the war, never glorifying or over exaggerating the heroics of the soldiers, but insisting that there was a great loss of humanity in The Great War. It’s emotionally on-point, and much better than I ever expected.

In any other year, I most likely would have passed over Battlefield 1, but given my trip to Europe, and the care with which DICE handles the story telling, it definitely makes my list of recommended games this year.

9. Overcooked!

While I may not have played hours upon hours of this co-op cooking game, the time I have spent with it has been incredibly entertaining. Anyone who has played Space Team in the past knows the mayhem that happens while trying to coordinate yourself and three other friends into executing on multiple goals at the same time. Throw this framework into a “too many cooks in the kitchen” premise, and it becomes a fun, delicious adventure that never gets stale.

Made by the team behind the Worms games, Overcooked! has a delightful art style and charming sense of humour that reduces the chance of getting bored with it. That, and each level has different mechanics that keep players on their toes, never letting them rest on their laurels and keep learning and moving to progress.

If I had 3 other friends always at the ready, I would definitely play Overcooked! every chance I got. Alas, I have enjoyed my extended bursts with the game, and can’t wait to get back in their and make some delicious soups.

8. Stardew Valley

While some people may spend their down time trying to relax by reading a book or watching a TV show, I found myself diving into Stardew Valley to destress. In its simplest terms, Stardew is a farming simulator that lets players crawl through dungeons and interact with fellow villagers, to almost simulate a second life (not in that creepy way though…). While this may not sound like everyone’s version of fun, Stardew Valley has such a delicate craft to it that everything feels good and rewarding to do. The kicker: it was made entirely by one person.

The premise revolves around you, the player character (customized any way you want, of course), inheriting your grandfather’s farm in Stardew Valley when you’ve grown tired of the hustle and bustle of working in the city. You hop on a bus and learn the basics of farming and slowly get acquainted with everyone in town.

From there, there’s not too much else to say, as there are so many different options available that it’s nearly impossible for two players to have the same experience. It’s surprisingly relaxing to plant and harvest, fight monsters, and woo potential dates. Checking off tasks feels great, and the music provides a soothing tone to everything. While it may not be for everyone, and I haven’t spent the hundreds of hours playing it that others have, I can’t wait to dive back in on chill weekends and vicariously put my digital life in order to help me deal with my IRL problems.

7. Hitman

Another game that I wish I had spent more time playing this year was IO interactive’s episodic Hitman. I watched a LOT of people playing Hitman, most notably Giant Bomb’s various escapdes with it, but only recently purchased it myself. From what I have played, I really, really like it. So far, I’ve only gotten to two of the available six missions, but I’ve replayed them both several times, trying to master each assassination mission.

The set up isn’t very complex: you are an expert hitman, contracted out to assassinate dangerous targets. The gameplay itself though has a ridiculous comedy to it, that allows players to do nearly anything imaginable to accomplish their tasks. Beat them over the head with a golf club? Sure. Two-hand toss a fire extinguisher into their head? You got it. Sneak up behind, choke them out, and toss them off a bridge? Child’s play.

It may sound like incredibly poor taste to casually mention such gruesome methods of killing, but given the vast amount of murder simulators that inhabit the video game space, Hitman holds a special place for its use of comedy. While many games try to evoke a serious tone, or real repercussions for killing, Hitman knows exactly what it is, and accounts for the uncanny valley aspects inherent in video games. It leans into the silly ways of killing, and rewards players for their creativity. Again, it’s hard to get a handle on why this game works just by reading words, or even by watching it. The magic is only truly woven over those who play it themselves, and even as I type, I’m trying to allocate my upcoming Hitman time. If none of this has convinced you, perhaps this might. 

6. SUPERHOT

When I first heard about this game several years ago, it pretty much consisted of one mechanic: time moves when you move. I watched the demo, chuckled to myself, and hoped that the developers didn’t take their neat trick too seriously. Cut to this year, when SUPERHOT was finally released. I had almost forgotten about it, but the distinctive glass-like art style brought back memories of the cool mechanic, and again, I hoped that the game was able to improve on this simple-but-brilliant idea.

They did not disappoint.

I only played through all of SUPERHOT near the very end of 2016, but it was well worth the wait. The level design and player controls all lent to the feeling of playing like some sort of god. The narrative wrapper is also perfectly messed-up and suits this god-like feeling quite well. To fully immerse yourself in the game is to intuit where and when to shoot, throw your weapons, and move so that all of your split-second planning pays off. In total, the game took me about 3 hours, with an insanely difficult final level that outs all of your skills to the test, and succeeds on the initial promise in a way that I never imagined possible. It doesn’t overstay its welcome, and rewards those who stay with it all the way. I loved it. It’s the most innovative shooter I’ve played in years.

5. The Witness

How do I sum up my thoughts on The Witness? For starters, I haven’t finished it yet, and feel like if I were to go back to it, I’d have to start all over again. That said, my time with it felt like school, and I mean that in the best way possible.

Playing Jonathan Blow’s previous game, Braid, hurt my head, but had a touching story that kept me going. With The Witness, there’s not much of a “story” but what fuelled my need to play it was the satisfaction of playing the game. Which is ridiculous when the game is basically just made up of hundreds or thousands of line puzzles. The puzzles start out simple enough, asking players to snake their way through mazes, creating lines in certain patterns that can’t cross over each other. Progressively, the game adds more and more elements to the puzzles, slowly training the player to think in different ways. It never prompts or looks down on you, but instead has an attitude of, “You can do it, just keep going.” There is no praise other than progression, but let me tell you, solving some of the more challenging puzzles makes you feel like the smartest motherfucker on the planet.

I should also mention that I played this with my girlfriend, Rosalie, passing the controller back and forth when we conquered a section, or got stumped by a puzzle. This definitely reduced the frustration, as getting a fresh pair of eyes didn’t let us bash our heads against a wall for too long. It’s hard to describe The Witness as “fun”, but it is beautiful and engaging, and never makes it too easy. The puzzles all build off of each other in such intricate ways, that there are too many “Eureka!” moments to count, all of which feel better than the last. There was definitely a lot of frustration with it too, but when I think back on it, all I can remember is the feeling of solving a puzzle, and feeling like I could conquer the whole damn island. It’s a different kind of pleasure than I normally experience in games, and in some ways, more potent than any other I’ve felt. Overall, it’s great.

4. Destiny: Rise of Iron

This is the third year that I’ve been playing Destiny, and I must admit, I think I’m a lifer. After being disappointed with its original release in 2014 (as seen in my Top Ten of 2014 list), The Taken King expansion from 2015 changed a lot of what I didn’t like about the game, and made it incredibly addictive. Combine that with a group of friends that I can consistently play with, and Destiny was the game I would usually fire up in 2016. To date, I’ve played 444 hours of Destiny since its release. It’s a fantastic game, made better with teammates.

2016’s expansion Rise of Iron was conceived as a way to tide fans over while Destiny 2 got delayed, and unfortunately, it shows. Don’t get me wrong, I loved a lot about getting more content for Destiny, but I feel like I went through it fairly quickly, and didn’t feel the need to keep going the way I did with The Taken King.

That all said, I still loved my time with it. The raid, Wrath of the Machine, is excellent, and the new crucible mode, supremacy, is a ton of fun for my main class and weapon load out - Shotgun Titan. The story was a bit of a let down, but I still enjoyed it. While this particular expansion wasn’t my favourite, Destiny solidified itself in my heart as a game that I will always return to. The shooting feels incredible, and the thrill of raiding is unlike any other experience I’ve had in games. I can’t wait for more content, and to see what else I can do with an already solid base. Here’s hoping Destiny 2 is 2017’s GOTY!

3. Overwatch

I was very late to the party on this game, and never played the betas. I’ve never been great at online multiplayer shooters. I even thought that I had my all-time-shooter in Destiny, but when I finally got my hands on Overwatch during a free weekend in October, I pulled the trigger (nice) and have loved every second that I’ve spent with it so far. Like Destiny, Overwatch is better with friends, as you casually shoot the shit while you shoot the shit (read: opposing team). Each character is unique, and I can play a variety of different ways that I never thought I would enjoy.

There’s been a lot said and hyperbolized about Overwatch, but I honestly think it deserves it. Like a lot of Blizzard’s past games, it perfects a formula, and adds a level of polish that makes everything feel accessible. I could go on and on about specific things to love, but it won’t make sense until you get your own hands on it. It’s fun, fast, and rewarding in the best ways - literally. It only shows positive accomplishments at the end of every match. The K/D ratio isn’t displayed, as killing n00bs isn’t the point. It’s about working together and having fun. To prove my point, I usually play as Reinhardt and don’t get many kills in each game, but I always feel valuable.

For changing my perception of competitive shooters, and for providing so many ways to play, Overwatch has earned a spot in my top 3, despite only playing it for 2 months of the year.

2. Firewatch

When I first heard about Firewatch, I knew that some of the guys behind the Idle Thumbs Podcast and The Walking Dead Season 1 were working on it. As I had been working my way through the Giant Bombcast, Idle Thumbs seemed like the obvious next choice for gaming podcasts. I resolved myself to try and listen to as much of it as I could before Firewatch’s release, so that I could better understand its creators (I guess). I was also a big fan of Olly Moss’s art for movie and game posters, and after listening to hours and hours of Idle Thumbs, I was brimming with anticipation for the release of the game.

When it finally came out on February 9th, 2016, I got home from my closing shift at Starbucks around 11pm. I waited for my girlfriend to fall asleep, and dove in around midnight. From there, i played through the whole thing in one sitting, finishing around 4:30am. My drive to do this was fueled by many things: 1) I loved the atmosphere and the music 2) I was on the edge of my seat, eagerly anticipating what would come next and 3) I was afraid that if I waited to finish it, I would miss something, or the tension would be lost.

My experience with Firewatch is very personal and unique, and I understand people’s resistance to its ending, or some of the tension that is built up throughout the game. For me, it is a fantastic story, full of relatable themes and story beats that pulls on my heart strings in so many ways. By the end, I was an emotional wreck, and I couldn’t have asked for more from such a tight, beautiful experience. I’m grateful to have learned about Idle Thumbs in the process, and will always recommend this game to people who enjoy a good story.

I also ended up playing through this with my friend Alex as part of my 24 hour live stream benefitting pancreas cancer research in November. You can watch it here: Part 1 Part 2

1. DOOM

Video games are supposed to be fun, right? If I had to picture myself as a third party, observing Chris Townley playing video games in 2016, I would have to definitively say that he had the most fun playing DOOM this year. Why? Because the majority of my time with it was spent with a big dumb grin on my face, giggling to myself as I bounced around and plowed through monsters. From the opening 5 minutes of DOOM, I knew that it was going to be an experience that I would treasure forever.

Growing up, we always had Apple computers with very few games on them. It was always a treat when my dad would bring home his laptop with a copy of Doom on it that I could mess around with. I might not have spent a large part of my childhood gaming time with Doom, but it is seared into my heart as a treasured memory. For example, my ringtone for the past 3 years has been the theme for 1-1.

Hearing that a new Doom game was coming out, I dove into nostalgia, and eagerly anticipated playing it, even if I thought it would be bad. Prodded by this interest, I picked up a copy of Masters of Doom by Dave Kushner, a book about the early days of id Software. It’s an incredible book, and one that I think most gamers should read. It also pumped me up for a new Doom. Just to swim around in familiar demonic territory would be good enough for me.

When it was announced that no review outlets had gotten a copy of it before release, I was skeptical but still hopeful. I didn’t play the multiplayer beta, because I knew that wasn’t where I was going to spend my time with it. When the reviews finally started flooding in, everyone raved about the single player. Shortly after, I spent the full price of $80 CAD to play it. I don’t regret it one bit, even though the game has had dozens of sale offerings since then.

Why do I like it so much? It’s dumb and it’s fun and it knows what it is. The original premise for Doom was along the lines of, you shoot demons, and you’re badass. DOOM (2016) keeps this theme alive, along with the speed and ridiculous humour that made the first game so fun. This is especially amazing considering only one person from the original team worked on the new one. It looks gorgeous, the music is perfect, and the mechanics urge you forward, punching and shooting through demons in sprays of blood and guts.

I could go on and on about how much there is to love about DOOM, but perhaps I will sum it up this way: after 11 hours of gameplay, and nearing the final mission, my save was corrupted and I lost everything. I’m not even mad, because I know I get to play through it all over again. Maybe this hyperbole will colour your version of DOOM, but for me, it was the best game I played in 2016.