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lolainblue · 6 years

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Phoenix -- Chapter 11

A/N: Thank you to everyone that is still reading this series, and thank you for the comments and reblogs. There is still a lot of story left to tell and I hope you’ll continue to stick with me!

Jane's POV:

When I stumbled into the kitchen Monday morning Roger was already there, sitting at the island, head in his hands. The rich scent that filled the room told me that the coffee was already brewed but I noted that he didn't have a cup yet so I poured us both some and set out the creamer he liked before taking a seat next to him. He pulled it in front of him with a grunt, and once he had it the way he liked it he downed it probably much more quickly than was advisable for a hot liquid. If it bothered him he made no indication, just pushed his mug forward and set his head down on the counter. With a sigh, I got up and refilled his cup before topping off my own and then reclaimed my seat next to him. It was me that finally broke the silence.

“Well, you certainly made an ass out of yourself last night.” Roger groaned and nodded as he stared straight into his mug. “Uh-huh.” “I know you don't have a hangover. That pounding in your temples is shame, you know," I pointed out. “Uh-huh.” “Still using casual sex to self-medicate I see. So is your rando hookup still sleeping it off or did he leave?” Roger made a sound like a grumpy walrus. “Now who sounds like Janet? He's gone. And he wasn't a rando hookup. That was Vance. We used to work together when we lived out here before. We went out and had some drinks and fun. I didn't fuck him.” “Clearly not, since you actually know his name.” “You're a bitch when you're feeling self-righteous, you know that?” “Well, it's no worse than what you said to me last night.” Roger frowned and looked at me in confusion for a moment, then the memory flooded back on him, changing his expression to understanding and then horror. “Oh Jesus, Jane, I'm so sorry.” I shrugged. It hadn't taken any of it to heart. I had known it wasn't coming from a place of truth, just hurt and anger. Roger had a pretty deep well of that these days. “It's all right. I'd already forgiven you before you even went to bed. Jared, on the other hand, might still take issues with you calling him a whore.” “Oh no, I didn't...” Roger let his head fall back to the countertop with a groan.”I did. Fuck. Tell him I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean it. Not really. My shitty attitude towards Jared seems to be directly tied to my shitty attitude toward myself.” “You finally noticed that did you?” “Can you stop being so smug and right?” “It's annoying, isn't it?” I laughed, enjoying paying back Roger for his same attitude towards me the last week. “So what the hell happened, Roger? You were supposed to be out with Gretchen last night.” “We had a fight.” “You've had two dates. What could you two possibly have to fight about?” “She's married," he deadpanned. “She's what? That can't be right." “Married. M-a-r-r-i-e-d. Married. She says she and her husband decided to separate a few months ago but she only moved out last week. All this time I've been down there flirting and making a fool of myself and she was still...” “Well now, wait a minute," I stopped him. "The marriage sounds like it's over. It sometimes takes people a bit to transition when everything they have is mingled. Remember when Robin and Max spit up? It took a year before Max moved out and that was after she started dating again. Gretchen has already moved out. It's not the end of the world." “She kept it from me all this time though, Jane. I don't know how I feel about that. And she's just now separating from him, just getting out on her own. I'm the test boyfriend, Jane. All I can ever hope for from her is to be her rebound guy.” “You don't know that. If it's right, it's right. It doesn't matter how many people she does or doesn't date between you and her husband.” “Fuck, Jane, you are so naive....” Roger growled, getting up and refilling his mug again. “Oh great, we're back to insulting me.” “That's not what... “ Roger shook his head and rubbed the side of his face. “It's just that, after everything, you're still such a romantic at heart. You try to be pragmatic but you still believe in sunsets and happy endings. It doesn't usually work out like that.” “Which is why it's so amazing when it does. You have to fight for it, Roger. Come on." I pushed my own coffee mug forward and Roger took the hint, topping me off too before he sat back down. "If you like Gretchen as much as I think you do, you can't just walk away. Not unless she asked you to.” “No. She's amazing. She gorgeous and funny and so great to talk to. I'm crazy about her. But she hasn't been honest with me, and that really makes me uncomfortable.” “Did you listen to her side of the story? Or did you just hear her say “married” and then freak the fuck out?” Roger was silent. “Yeah, that's what I thought.” I heard my phone ringing in the other room. “Shit, that's probably Jared. I told him to call this morning since our date got spoiled last night." I listened to it continue to ring. "I'll just let it go to voicemail for now and call him back. I'm not done with you." “I'm sorry about ruining your night. Fuck, I can't even keep my fuck ups confined to my own love life, now I'm screwing yours up too. Tell Jared I'm sorry," Roger apologized. “You can tell him yourself. I'm going to invite him back over for dinner again tonight.” Roger's expression immediately changed from contrition to suspicion. “That's a lot of dates in a row, isn't it? You really jumped back on that horse didn't you?” I rolled my eyes. “I see we've switched back to lecturing me. I'm leaving tomorrow and we're both super busy. We won't get much time together after that so I thought we should cram in what we can now. We're getting to know each other again.” “I just find it strange that after all this time you're suddenly so enthusiastic about dating again. You know, now that Jared has come around.” Roger continued to look at me with narrowed eyes. “I don't know what you're implying exactly, but if you think I've been hanging around for years waiting for him, you're wrong. I've actually been thinking about getting back out there again for a while now. There's this guy in my mountaineering group....” “Doug!” Roger shouted triumphantly. “I knew it!” “Yes, Doug,” I confirmed, feeling my cheeks heating. Doug was an Orthodontist, like Mitch, with sparkling blue eyes and a smile that I couldn't help but return every time I saw him. He was wickedly funny and very well read and we'd have quite a few conversations over stunning high altitude sunrises this last year. “I still might take him up on that dinner offer he's been making for months. We'll see how this goes.” “Jared cool with that? He breaks the ice and then you go out with someone else?" “I think I was pretty clear with him that I didn't want to be exclusive, but if it actually comes to that I'll make sure to reiterate that fact.” In the next room, my phone started ringing again. “Shit, I really should get that.” I grabbed my phone off the charger, expecting to see Jared's name displayed but instead it was Jeannie, my publicist. “It's just Jeannie!” I called back to the kitchen. “Give me a minute!” I had barely managed to squeak out a hello when Jeannie burst in. “Are you dating Jared Leto?” “What?” I asked in confusion. “I have pictures in front of me, you and Roger on what looks like a double date. You're sitting next to Jared and you two look like you're together.” Fuck. I knew I had seen paparazzi that night. “It was one dinner. We're old friends,” I explained. “Old friends. Suuure.” I groaned. “No, seriously we are. I've known him since I was at USC like a decade ago. Not too long after he did that television show. Before the band thing even." I left out the part about dating his brother. “You're not holding out on me, are you? Because I could translate that into some new market interest. Hell, I could use the old friends reunited angle too... two L.A. dreamers, look how far they've come..." “No, Jeannie. Please don't," I cut her off. My agent had set me up with her two years ago when the final book for my first series had exploded and I had gone from being a barely known mystery writer to someone with a rather enthusiastic following. I had needed someone to help me navigate the shark-infested waters of publicity and promotion that that came with. Jeannie was smart and enthusiastic and very good at her job, but she was usually much more aggressive than I would have liked. “Fine, kiddo, you call the shots. But if you're going to be with him people are going to be taking pictures. You two are gorgeous together. You might as well use it to your advantage. You would probably be good for his image too, you know. All I'm saying is you should at least run it past him." Knowing that Jared was about as in love with publicity as I was I somehow doubted that he would be any more interested in selling that particular narrative. “We're just reconnecting. As friends," I lied. The truth was complicated and I had no intention of explaining it to her. "He's on tour and so am I so I doubt there's going to be a bunch of photo ops coming your way even if you wanted them to.” I could hear the disappointment in Jeannie's voice as she bid me goodbye and good luck with the tour. I was making my way back into the kitchen to explain things to Roger when my phone rang again. This time at least it was the call I had been wanting and expecting. “Hey, Jared.” “Good morning, beautiful,” he purred and my insides turned to jello. “Did you sleep well?” “Not enough. I got up early to make sure everything is done so you get my undivided attention tonight and I ended up playing armchair psychiatrist for Roger.” I didn't fail to not the grumble of discontent from Jared's end of the line. “How

did that go?” “Not bad. He said to tell you he's sorry.” I decided to leave the subject of Jeannie's call alone for the time being. “I told him he could tell you himself when you came over later.” “Don't you want to go out? I'm happy to take you anywhere you'd like for your last night in town." “No. I'll explain why when you come over. Dinner again?” “Okay, but I'll pick something up this time.” “That's good because I'm too busy to cook again tonight anyway. How's 6? Too early?” “I'd come over right now if I thought you'd let me.” I laughed. “Sorry, I still have some things to take care of. But I'll see you at 6.” By the time my doorbell rang early that evening I was as ready for this tour as I was ever going to be. My bags were lined up at the front door, ready for the car that would be picking me up at eleven o'clock the next morning. I'd gotten my hair done, cleaned out the refrigerator, put all my bills on auto-pay, checked in with my parents and Mitch, and even squeezed in a final wax and mani-pedi. I was tired but my mind was clear and my stomach rumbled in anticipation of whatever Jared might have decided on for dinner. Jared, of course, looked amazing as always, practically edible himself in a red and black button up shirt that probably could have used a little more of the “up” in that phrase as it hung loosely open, allowing me a peek at that amazing chest of his. I took the bouquet of flowers that he offered me, a gorgeous pastel arrangement of peonies and sweet peas, and threw my arms around his neck for a kiss. The butterflies that kiss sent fluttering were just as strong as they had been the night before and I smiled as I pulled away, burying my head in the flowers to hide the blush I felt returning to my cheeks. “These are so beautiful and thoughtful. Thank you,” I gushed. “I know you won't be around long enough to enjoy them properly but I wanted to do something nice for your last night in town.” “They're perfect. Thank you.” I nodded towards the bag of takeout he was carrying. “What's in there? It smells incredible!” “Pho. I hope you like it. I realized when I was deciding what to pick up we probably should talk more about our favorite foods.” I led him back to the kitchen so we could unpack the takeaway. “I love just about anything as long as it's vegetarian," I offered. "I'm a very adventurous eater.” “That doesn't surprise me. You're an adventurous person.” Roger met us in the kitchen, reaching under the sink for a vase before I could. “Hey, Jared," he said, busying himself with filling the vase. “Hi,” Jared said stiffly. “Jane said something about you being here so I brought extra if you'd like to join us.” Roger shook his head and took the flowers from me, arranging them neatly in the vase while he spoke, avoiding looking Jared in the eye. “Thanks. That's very gracious of you but I'm just going to order some pizza and stay out of you kid's hair. I just stuck around to apologize to you for my behavior last night.” “It's okay,” Jared said, only slightly more warmly. “No, it's not okay. As I pointed out to Jane earlier that anger wasn't really for you, it was for me. It wasn't fair for me to take my own self-loathing out on you. I've been a bit of an ass towards you lately. I just want you to know it doesn't really have anything to do with you and I don't really think you're an asshole, no matter what I might have said.” Jared cleared his throat. “I think whore was the most recent word you used.” “Yeah, well not that either. I'm sorry. I'll leave you two to your date now.” Jared seemed to soften. “No, don't run off. I brought plenty of food. At least sit down and have a bowl with us.” Roger hesitated, looking from the ingredients Jared was setting out on the counter to the hallway that led back to the bedrooms. “That does smell amazing. Maybe I'll just make a bowl and take it in my room.” I rolled my eyes. “Roger...” “No, if I leave then it will be less awkward when you talk about me,” he said with an uneasy laugh. “You know you're going to fill him anyway. I'd rather not sit through it, to tell the truth.” We made some small talk while we prepared our bowls, Jared watching with wide eyes while I alternated dumping in bright red chili after chili and taking test slurps of the broth until I had it as fiery as I wanted it. Roger laughed at his reaction, just pulling the sriracha out of the cupboard and placing it in front of me. I waved him off – I usually preferred the actual peppers to using the prepared sauce, assuming the broth was of good quality, and once everyone had their bowls the way they wanted we went our separate ways – Roger to his room and Jared and me out to our deck. The weather was warmer than it had been the last time we had been out there and we left the fire unlit, simply snuggling close on the rattan couch to enjoy the evening and each other's company. "So I need to tell you something," I began. "Oh?" Jared looked uneasy. "My publicist called me this morning. Apparently, someone took pictures of us at that restaurant the other night. She wanted to know if we were dating." "What did you tell her?" he asked carefully. "I told her we were old friends who were catching up. She wanted to turn it into something... which I get that's her job and all but I put a stop to it. I just wanted you to be aware." Jared nodded. "That's something we'll have to deal with down the road if we continue though, you know that right?" "I do but I wish everyone would just give me a chance to figure this out before they go practically marrying us off." He was quiet for a few minutes as we continued to eat. “So are we allowed to talk about Roger now?” he asked once I had finished my noodles. I frowned. I knew Jared deserved an explanation, but I really just wanted to enjoy my evening with him. “It's his family again. They're colossal assholes. Always turning up with some new bullshit whenever Roger's happy. This time Marsha called to make sure that now that Roger was becoming more well known that he wasn't going to talk about his family back in Indiana, and oh, by the way, would he consider changing his last name?" "Fucking assholes," Jared swore under his breath. "And to make matters worse, he found out last night that Gretchen is still married, although she's separated from her husband. He decided to go drink it off with a friend I guess.” “Jesus, he cannot cut a break can he?” I could see Jared's attitude toward Roger instantly swing back around. “No, not really.” “Well tell him he has my number if he wants to talk.” I nodded and snuggled a little deeper into Jared's arms. “And what about me?” I asked playfully. “Because I have your number too but I don't want to talk.” “Really,” Jared said as he pulled me around until we were facing each other. He kissed me lightly on the nose. “What would you like to do?” “My ride to the airport is picking me up at eleven tomorrow morning. I'm yours until then. What would you like to do?” Jared moved in for another kiss, this time not on the tip of my nose and not nearly so innocent. I wasn't sure how far I was ready to take any of this, but it had been so long since I had allowed anyone to touch me that way and I found I was starving for that sensation. “Let's go back inside.”

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