#I still use he/she/they and if someone asks I’ll probably still say nonbinary unless its someone I trust this information with | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

void-galaxy-shenanigans · 2 months

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We’ve never made (& never planned to make) a pinned post of frequently asked questions (FAQs) or important info but...here we are. After an influx of new people, I think it might be time to make a proper introductory post.

Heads up that this will be long because I don’t want multiple parts. I’ll drop a read-more line after the basic info so you can choose whether to read the rest.

¡Hi! We are the Void Galaxy (that’s a D.I.D. system name). We are a traumagenic system with D.I.D. Welcome to our blog.

We’ll start with basics, go over a lil history, & then have terms, tags, side blogs, rules, & FAQs (in that order).

So here is a masterpost for all of the info that y’all may need on our page.

Note that I’ll elaborate on in rules/boundaries: We don’t mind “spamming” likes & reblogs. It’s completely okay to do so on this blog or our side blogs 💜.

~Nico

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Basics:

Profile Picture (PFP): ¡We didn’t make the art in our PFP! We got it from @nightcatssketchbook 💜

Body’s age: 24 years

Pronouns: he/they collectively, but headmates vary & we’ll attempt to remember to include pronouns with names when someone new posts.

We’re also all for being thrown a curveball (unexpected) pronoun, as long as it’s not she/her (very much doesn’t fit us) or it/its (doesn’t fit us). We may not like every one people use, but as long as it’s used in good faith, we probably won’t mind. Unless it’s a headmate who requests otherwise, or it’s Serenity (who uses they/she, making her the only headmate who still uses she/her at all; they’re open to curveball pronouns except for he/it), most pronouns are fair game. So...¿surprise us?

Gender Identity: We usually say nonbinary-ish man. Our lover offered boyflux / manflux and that’s the best specific label we have.

(We tend to explain our gender day to day very differently. Sometimes queer man, sometimes wizard/sorcerer, sometimes abstract concept, or something genderless/agender. It doesn’t stay still. The only thing we are not (even including Serenity, who is feminine-ish nonbinary)) is a girl.)

¿AGAB?: The biological sex we were accused of at birth is none of your business. We were convicted as a nonbinary-ish man as an adult and that’s what matters.

¿Number of Headmates?: We are polyfragmented and honestly I’ve lost track at this point 😭

¿When did we discover we had D.I.D.?: The journey began with undeniable evidence in early 2019. We were first medically confirmed in June of 2020.

¿Who is fronting for / writing this post?: My name is Nicolás Carriedo, but everyone calls me Nico and I usually tag myself as Nico on this blog. You can usually identify me from español being slipped in to posts, purple emoji hearts 💜, & sometimes ¿? ¡! and other tone tags (others use those sometimes).

I’m an age slider (my age varies from stress), but I’m usually 18 to the body’s age. (Sometimes I’ll be 5 or 7 or 9 or otherwise a little for a bit. (Similar to age regression, except my body in headspace slides to match and I forget everything that happened after that age, and it’s a D.I.D. experience & because I also age regress sometimes.)) As far as roles, I’m a frequent fronter right now, but I’m also a protector and trauma holder.

(Please do nOT call me Nick, I hate it and that’s not my name, & I won’t respond to it. My name is español / de España. I also have two dads and an older brother in system with me.)

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History / where & when this blog began:

This blog began as a reblogging and sneaky backdoor-into-the-internet blog back in 2011 (was not supposed to have Internet or computers, so we used school computer labs and libraries), and became a fandom and shenanigans page back in 2013. In 2019 to 2020, it also became a bit of a healing journey & mental health page as we ended up with undeniable evidence that we were plural and needed a place to vent those feelings and discoveries that our biological (bio) family, and especially our bio parents, would not find.

Now it is becoming a mix of shenanigans and reblogs, and actual advice and knowledge and theories and discoveries, and sometimes a place where we mention or discuss witchcraft and polytheism. (I don’t know when it officially became a blog that people followed for the reassurance and theories and advice, but here we are.)

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Terms:

• Plurality / Multiplicity (noun / adjective): refers to the fact that one brain & body has multiple people in it, whether they have OSDD-1 or D.I.D.

• System(s) (noun): the collective people sharing a brain & body, or identifying as a unit. This can be two people or many. A system is a single group; systems refers to multiple bodies who experience plurality. Some systems also have subsystems, groups within the same body/mind that identify as or are considered somehow separate from the main system.

• Headmates, Headmages, Mindmages, Mindmates, etc. (noun): these refer to the people in a plural system. Each individual person is a headmate, mindmate, etc., including the host(s) &/or gatekeeper(s). The term in the DSM is “alters” but that refers to ‘alternate personalities’, which treats us as facets of a whole, like some monstrous Frankenstein’s monster, that doesn’t actually exist. Headmates/mindmates is akin to calling them roommates (we live together and share a space; we can be friends or family, but can also be strangers who never meet or strictly business partners or acquaintances or etc. & don’t automatically get along, so roommates encompasses all possibilities for us). As for mindmages/headmages, my keyboard auto-corrected to this once and I stared at it and laughed, and started actually using it because I loved the idea of magic & fantasy being interwoven with our existence. The most common term you’ll see us (& some other systems) use is headmates.

• Fronting/Fronted (verb - to front): the act of controlling the body & interacting with the outside world. This can be the person writing/typing, speaking, doing chores, taking care of the body, etc.. For some systems, this is like puppeteering from a distance, and others it’s like a computer or video game console, and there are likely other ways this is represented (all systems are unique).

• Front (noun): the physical/mental place from which we front (verb). This can be a blank space for some systems, or a house, or something more complicated. Our fronting space is currently a room that has computer screens to see outside (3 screens; peripheral vision (2) + central vision), and we control the body via PS3 remote controls like a video game. Sometimes there will be multiple people stealing one remote or passing it around, and sometimes there will be multiple remotes as we share control of the body & voice. There's a city around the building and all the buildings are made of a reddish brown brick. (I have a very vivid imagination so we have a vivid headspace that I built to make the space more comfortable.)

• Co-conscious (co-con) (verb / noun (place)): when a mindmage is conscious of the outside world, near enough to the fronting space to observe what the others are doing, but not in control of the body.

• Co-front(ing) (verb): when two or more headmates front together. There might be a primary fronter with others co-front, close enough to control the body &/or speak, or there may be 2 or more headmates splitting the controls.

�� Mindscape, Headspace, Mind Palace, etc. (nouns): the physical place inside our mind where we go when we dissociate. If we dissociate a little we see the fronting space, but if we switch out or dissociate to co-con we can see different parts of it. Some people have a blank space or no visuals, and some have vivid &/or complex headspaces. Our mindscape is complex and vivid.

• Roles: these are the jobs that headmates may be assigned. They describe the tasks that person usually does. This can be a person remembering trauma the other(s) can’t handle (trauma holder), the person protecting the system or a headmate from further trauma (protector, persecutor), the person taking care of the physical body or helping the body cope through heavy emotions or flashbacks (caretaker, caregiver), or more.

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Tags:

• # ~Nico, # ~Jack, or other # ~name tags — these are fronting tags. We may forget sometimes but are trying to consistently tag whoever wrote or reblogged a post in the post &/or the tags.

• # original art, # original photography, # original character, etc. - these are photos, art pieces, & characters we designed. They may be reblogs from our other side blogs, but they are ours. Unless marked, any photography or characters we reblog don’t belong to us. However, other people’s art with be marked with # not my art or # not our art

• # Liliana, # Liliana 🐱, # Lili, # Lili 🐱, # our kitty, # my kitty - We have a calico kitty named Liliana (nickname Lili). Sometimes we talk about her or share photos 💜. These tags mark when a post is about her.

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Side Blogs:

@void-galaxy-art-stuffs - ¡art we’ve made! Some of this may contain triggering content / topics though, so scroll at your own discretion.

@void-galaxys-photos - photos we’ve taken. These are all taken on cell phones (most recently (past 3 years), Samsung Galaxy S8, Samsung Galaxy S21, & Moto One 5G Ace (Motorola)). We often take pictures of nature, especially clouds.

@note-to-self1119 - these are notes we need, directed at our younger self, but they may be helpful for others

@teaquotes48 - these are quotes I’ve found on tea bags when we drink cold/flu tea. Some of those quotes were just worth sharing 🤷‍♂️☺.

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@wpffw - this is where we share writing prompts that are quotes or scenes from stories. Two or three are from our creative writing class in high school, two or three are ideas, and we occasionally reblog prompts/quotes, but the rest are quotes & scenes from our own writing. We hoped someone else may benefit from prompts in this style, after we discovered a lot of prompts were too vague or too specific or just...not inspiring or giving us ideas and that we write easier from lines out of books and TikTok videos and songs than we do from those. The blog name stands for Writing Prompts For Fictional Writers. It's a couple years old and has around 170 prompts. Prompts are primarily around fantasy & magic and queer & trans characters, & of course plenty of trauma & comfort trope scenes/quotes, with some exceptions.

@say-it-with-me-affirmations - affirmations we have written down for y’all to look through and benefit from

Rules & Boundaries:

• We are not a medical professional, or licensed psychologist. There will be questions where all we can do is tell you to seek professional help.

• Asks (including anon) are open. If you have a question we may be able to answer, ask. The most we’ll do is say we aren’t comfortable answering your question, or reply privately to your ask. You will not be belittled, mocked, or bullied for what you don’t know, and we are comfortable answering most questions around our plurality (and some other categories). If we have the spoons you will likely get an answer. It’s also okay to use asks to say hi, or to let us know our content helped you in some way (on or off anon). ¡We also post ask games sometimes and would love it if people participated in those with us!

• That said, hateful or cruel asks will be deleted and blocked. We may also delete other asks at our discretion. We are not obligated to answer every ask, and may choose not to sometimes.

• Our ask box is not a space for donation requests. We don’t have money to help anyone, and it’s likely our followers don’t either. We may boost existing posts, but won’t start a new one from asks. We wish you the best in getting that help, but that’s not what this page is for.

• LGBT+ hate won’t be tolerated on this blog, or our side blogs. This includes bioessentialism, trans-misogyny, trans-misandry, transphobia, enbyphobia, aphobia (acephobia, arophobia), biphobia, etc. Your replies or asks will be deleted and you will be blocked.

• Sexism, racism, and other bigotry (-isms, -phobias) won’t be tolerated on this blog or our side blogs. Your replies or asks will be deleted and you will be blocked.

• Free Palestine (stop the genocide), BLM, ACAB, and anti-capitalism. If you disagree with any of those movements, please block us and leave our page. If you argue any of these points, your replies or asks will be deleted and you will be blocked.

• We are long overdue for a full-scale revolution (pro LGBT+, pro ‘cringe’ / weirdness, pro true freedom, pro neurodivergent, pro culture, pro choice & for people making medical decisions about their own bodies (medical gender transitions / gender affirming care, abortion or post partum care, etc.), pro (better) therapy, pro emotional maturity, anti-racist, anti-capitalist, anti police / ACAB, anti occupation/colonization, anti ableist, anti white supremacy, anti conversion/assimilation). Either get out of the way or join us.

• Please please please reblog from us. We don’t mind “spamming” likes & reblogs. It’s actually very fun for us to witness / be notified about. If you like our content, 100% ¡share it, reply to it, send us asks about it! Engagement is not at all annoying or problematic. 💜☺

~~~

FAQs:

Q: ¿What does “medically confirmed” mean?

A: We have not been told if we have a professional diagnosis on paper yet. But we have been openly acknowledged by 3 different licensed medical professionals and repeatedly told to seek a D.I.D. specialist for a professional diagnosis.

Q: ¿How did you get medically confirmed 3 times?

A: After a year of therapy (first time around; ended June 2020), our therapist said she “[had] met 26 of [us]” and that she highly recommended we got to a D.I.D. specialist. (We did not know how to find, or have money for, a specialist at the time.) That means a professional confirmed our existence. This happened again with our new therapist (began August 2023), who has already distinctly met 3 of us (me, Lucca, & Serenity). We know because we’re getting more comfortable openly presenting as plural; I usually wear blue (shirt + button up / flannel) with the body’s natural hair, but Lucca wore a wig that looks like his hair in headspace and a green outfit (shirt + flannel) and Serenity (they/she) wore a wig and a dress with a coat over it that covered up our chest (we agreed to let her not bind in the therapy room as long as they wore a coat to hide our chest elsewhere). Our therapist has also encountered (co-conscuious, has spoken aloud but wasn’t fronting) Jack several times, and this week she encountered Wolfe and Sylver for the first time. So that’s two therapists. And lastly, our psychiatrist asked about what the intake person had only noted as “hears voices” (I explicitly called it D.I.D. so that was rude), & I was honest. By the second check-in on meds, she explicitly asked us “who’s fronting today?” (she met me, Nico, before that but I was alone, & that time there were 3 others with me, no clue how she knew) & especially after that session (we were switchy and talking to eachother aloud) she agreed that she saw signs of D.I.D. and that we should seek a specialist when we can. Between all of those, that makes us triple medically confirmed. (Technically our current therapist has an intern shadowing her who has also seen and acknowledged our D.I.D./plurality, but she's not licensed yet.)

Q: ¿Do you believe that D.I.D./OSDD-1 has to be professionally diagnosed to be valid?

A: Absolutely not. Access to professional diagnosis is limited and often expensive. It can take up to 15 years (and sometimes several medications) to get the correct diagnosis, and the minimum is usually 3 to 5 years. I do think that self diagnosis should be careful and involve official research papers (using Google Scholar if needed, but preferably using scientific journals if you can access them), because (a) confirmation bias (believing you have something & ignoring any evidence to the contrary) & (b) there are similar disorders that may fit better. There has also been some stigma and misinformation spread on social media (and in movies) to be wary of. But I do believe that most self diagnosed D.I.D./OSDD systems are correct about their own experience and are completely valid.

Q: ¿Are there movies or TV shows where I can learn more about D.I.D. or see it represented? ¿Are there ones I should avoid?

A: Yes, if you take them with a grain of salt because they are still dramatized and may contain misinformation or stigma or other biases. Most systems believe Moonknight (a TV show on Netflix) is the current most accurate representation. But as far as avoiding representation, or being cautious to do high levels of misrepresentation or only representing dangerous & negative stories around plurality, please avoid or be careful with The Crowded Room, & Split & Glass.

Q: ¿Did you shatter/break as a child? / ¿How did you become plural?

A: (No.) The current most supported theory (supported by evidence with replicable results, but psychology is a newer science and not a hard science so not 100% proven) says that everyone is born with identity fragments. These fragments integrate with a single identity and memory at 9 to 12 years old, in healthy childhood. This creates a multifaceted personality, or the phenomenon of people being a different person with their family vs coworkers vs lovers. When a child forms plurality (D.I.D./OSDD-1), repeated trauma (mixed with severe trauma, or smaller trauma compounding) prevents these fragments from fully integrating their identity, memory, or both. These fragments get separated by amnesia walls (they forget about one another, forget about memories or separate identities or both, & can't access or integrate with one another), which then forces each individual fragment to form its own multifaceted identity. The difference between 1a, 1b, & D.I.D. is the degree of identity separation / distinctly different people and the degree of amnesia (forgetting trauma, day to day events, &/or switches). The identity & memory separation cannot be from religious or cultural experiences (e.g. shamanic practices or religious trances) and has to be persistent (the minimum observation time prior to professional diagnosis is one year). It's usually a covert disorder, but if someone discovers their plurality it can start to reveal itself in more obvious ways.

(Spirit (one of our headmates) actually wants to combine these into one label, something along the lines of ‘traumatic amnesia with plurality’, & (similar to autism) have what is now separate diagnoses be scales under a single label (degrees of identity & memory separation), but unless that happens they are considered three separate and related disorders.)

~~~

If you actually read this far, thank you so much, and welcome to our page! 💜

¿What song, band, or playlist saved your life when you were at your lowest?

(¡tell us asks, replies, or reblogs if you want to!)

(My answer: Citizen Soldier (Let It Burn, Would Anyone Care; ICU, You Are Enough), but also sometimes Simple Plan or other bands/songs.)

~Nico

#masterpost #~Nico

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sith-shenanigans · 4 years

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18, 19, 26 and 27 for your choice of ahene and sirue :0

You said “my choice” and I like to talk, so I’m choosing both of them. ^^;;

Ahene:

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

Ahene has been a lot of different places on a lot of different planets, and what she found has mostly been weird Force things. Especially ghosts. There have been a lot of ghosts.

The parts she remembers fondly, though, are the times post-class story when she had the opportunity to claim an artifact personally, when she and Talos (and occasionally some combination of the rest of the crew, but always Talos) got to go down into some ruin and figure it out like a puzzle. No politics, no expectations, just the opportunity to let down the facade a little bit with one of the few people she can actually count as a friend.

Now, most people wouldn’t consider ancient tombs to be the best place to do that, but she’s not most people and that really is her idea of fun, so it works out. Somehow.

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

I’m… not sure quite what this one’s saying (‘in life?’), but I’ll do my best.

When Ahene was a young child, she wanted to join the SIS. The idea of being a spy appealed to her (you get to Know Things, and figure out what people are hiding, and sneak around) and while Verios was closer to the Empire, its political sentiments were much more strongly Republic-aligned. Being a kid, the part where you have to be a Republic citizen didn’t really cross her mind… but, anyway, after the invasion? She spent a couple years thinking the Republic might show up and rescue them all.

She is of the opinion that her younger self was inexcusably naïve.

Ahene also went through a lot of the class story hoping to, at some point, disappear into the endless night and go looking for Sirue. But the time never seemed right. Zash’s expectations were too immediate to risk running, and then there was Thanaton—and then she was part of a power struggle, and moffs were choosing sides. Things just kept escalating until it was too big to back down from, until there were too many people involved, until there was no way out but through.

And then the Council.

And then Makeb.

She should have known better than to think leaving was an option.

And she should have known better, after KotFE and KotET and all the things she built while saving the galaxy, than to think it wouldn’t come crumbling down around her.

She should have known better than to think she could do this the right way.

Always and ever, no way out but through.

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

She’s lived a few different places, but they all have some commonalities. Her living space tends to be surprisingly austere. Sith—especially powerful ones—generally tend towards whatever extreme suits them, ominous or lavish or cluttered with whatever interests them (or, often, some combination of all of those). Hers is just… functional. Sometimes there are datapads lying around, or occasionally a coffee mug that 2V or a cleaning droid hasn’t had the chance to spirit off for washing yet.

If you had a way of looking, you could always tell the places she’s actually lived from the places she inherited from Thanaton and never used; the latter still look Sithly and pristine, and the former have been rearranged by someone who really doesn’t want to sleep in a bedroom that feels like an evil cathedral. She would like her bedroom to feel like a bedroom, thank you. A normal one.

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

This is where I mention that Ahene is a nonbinary woman, and also that she has mild/occasional chest dysphoria. She doesn’t ever get top surgery, though, even though Star Wars medtech would probably mean a very short recovery period—she doesn’t actually want a flat chest, she just prefers clothing that keeps it covered and doesn’t draw the eye there.

She also has an entirely non-gender-related dislike of fancy Sith robes, possibly because she resents any outfit a droid has to help her into. Or maybe she’s just ended up slogging through a swamp in full formal dress more than once, because official visit and unforeseen circumstances collide with alarming regularity where she’s involved, and there aren’t enough showers in the galaxy after an experience like that.

More generally, she takes a fair bit of pride in the way she looks. She knows the kind of power appearances have, she knows how she wants to be seen, and she makes an effort to look polished. (Her hair definitely doesn’t stay slicked back like that without a lot of space hair product.) She likes grayscale clothing, with sharp, clean lines, stays meticulously clean when she’s not actively slogging through the wilderness, and does very… particular things with makeup. Or, often, 2V does, because when she does too much of his job herself he has a small nervous breakdown, and sometimes it’s easier just to take pity on the droid.

Sirue:

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

Sirue has traveled across a lot of the galaxy—or more of it than most people ever will, at the least, and that’s still only a tiny tiny fraction. She couldn’t see it all in a thousand lifetimes. And that’s part of what she likes about it. She doesn’t have to stay anywhere too long, bouncing between stars until all the planets start to blur together, a new job on every horizon. It’s the freedom to move, to fly, to leave her mark and be forgotten.

She’d like to say that she forgets everything but the good bits, the exciting bits. The bits where she lived fast and won big and did things nobody else could.

It’s a damned lie, but she’d like to say it.

This is what she remembers: there’s no justice but what you make, there’s no odds that aren’t fixed, and everyone’s wrong when they say they’ll be lucky forever. (Except me, she’ll tell you, and wink.)

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

Sirue wasn’t a born cynic, but going from political scion to Imperial slave at the tender age of eight will leave you disillusioned with just about everything. She lost more than a lot of people ever had, and it taught her that power was just a word for how many things you can break. Nothing means anything unless you have the bigger gun. Forgetting that was how she ended up getting betrayed by her best business partners—though she got off the last shots in the end.

That said, none of that means you have to break the wrong things, or shoot the wrong people. She’s not some kind of petty schoolyard bully. But she doesn’t believe in anything she can’t ensure herself, and she will go to some kriffing terrifying lengths to ensure things herself.

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

She lives in her ship, of course, and it’s about as organized as anyone could expect from the living space of a motley group of criminals. The captain’s quarters aren’t outright messy, but sometimes things get set on the floor. And she collects horrible knicknacks. And then there’s the trophy case with the lightsabers in it, and the guns on the wall, and all the other miscellaneous items she’s picked up off her enemies to prove that she lived and they didn’t. Everything needs a memento; that’s how you keep score.

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

She goes through horrible places on a regular basis, she’s worn the same jacket for at least a decade, and… actually, she’s pretty hygienic when it comes to personal grooming. She’s been through grubby grimy hell, sometimes she just wants to feel clean, gods, is that too much to ask? Looking pretty isn’t exactly a priority for her, though—she’s gonna be a scruffy smuggler unless you give her a damn good reason not to be, ‘cause otherwise people start noticing those delicate features that make her so clearly her father’s girl, and…

Well, she’s done a lot of things that weren’t exactly morally sound, but she can look at herself in the mirror without seeing her father, and that’s important. If she dresses up too nice, she starts thinking a little too much about futures that weren’t hers.

#asks #canon: liminality #oc: ahene coris #oc: sirue parhen #otp: don't call it destiny

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embersofstardust · 5 years

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For the OC ask, if you don't mind, all of them? I like all the names and am curious about snake boi! 😊

:D absolutely!!!! But it’s gonna get long, so i’m throwing it under the “read more” (also sorry it took so long! I tried to do it before work, but didn’t have enough time so i had to wait until i got home)

ok, so i’ll do snake boi first then!

Full Name: he doesn’t have one yet lolGender and Sexuality: Male (currently debating nonbinary), and asexualPronouns: He/HimEthnicity/Species: He is a snake hybrid sort of deal. Not a naga, but has reptilian eyes/toungue and is coldblooded and prefers his food extremely rare even though it might stain his nice dress clothesBirthplace and Birthdate: No birthplace, but birthday is April 19thGuilty Pleasures: His favourite band is ABBA but he thinks it’s embarrassingPhobias: Crickets. they terrify himWhat They Would Be Famous For: writing the book he’s been working on for the past 10 yearsWhat They Would Get Arrested For: god um, maaayyyybe being involved in a fight? but only like, if one of his friends was getting the shit kicked out of them. he hates confrontationOC You Ship Them With: none atm!OC Most Likely To Murder Them: i honestly don’t knowFavorite Movie/Book Genre: movie is suspenseful thrillers, but book is romcom novels! another guilty pleasure tbh. even tho he’s asexual he likes the romance side of it and the cheesy lines always make him laughLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: the fact that EVERYONE has to end up with somebody, and it’s usually a straight coupleTalents and/or Powers: no powers, but he can touch the bridge of his nose with his tongue! also he loves gardening and has a green thumbWhy Someone Might Love Them: he’s really just a mellow sweetheart with questionable fashion sense. he has green hair/stubble but likes to wear warm coloured dress clothesWhy Someone Might Hate Them: he really is almost unbearable mellow. he doesn’t get riled up very often and can talk for HOURS on book analysisHow They Change: he really hasn’t too much besides going from a more closed off type of character to just laid-back and sweet!Why You Love Them: he is literally the ONLY one of my characters with a decent amount of chill and i love his design so much

up next: Callalily! (also i’m just realising i forgot two whole ocs, but i’m not gonna throw them in bc i don’t have anything other than their design and that they’re dating)

Full Name: Callalily MortrinskaGender and Sexuality: Female, lesbian (she dated a few guys, but eventually decided not for her)Pronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: black and cyborg! and not shy about it either, she makes sure her cyborg parts are made of shiny gold. it was the only thing they could do for her after a nasty accidentBirthplace and Birthdate: i don’t think i have a birthplace for any of them tbh but her birthday is November 3rdGuilty Pleasures: nothing is really a “guilty” pleasure for her? She is pretty open about everythingPhobias: one of her parts malfunctioning, someone she cares about getting hurt, miceWhat They Would Be Famous For: shooting someone who deserved it (she’s a sniper)What They Would Get Arrested For: shooting someone who only SHE thought deserved itOC You Ship Them With: none atm!OC Most Likely To Murder Them: none atm!Favorite Movie/Book Genre: probably the political fiction stuff!Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: how pink = girly girl and that they’re always airbrainedTalents and/or Powers: an incredible sniper! Also a really smooth flirt when she wants to beWhy Someone Might Love Them: she has a huge heart for people she cares about and is willing to go to the ends of the earth for themWhy Someone Might Hate Them: if you’ve pissed her off there is no mercy or second chances unless your apology is REALLY goodHow They Change: hasn’t really! i like it too much :)Why You Love Them: i love the thought of a badass, sniper cyborg woman who loves pink, skirts, and girls and has both aesthetics at the same time

Xinae!

Full Name: XinaeGender and Sexuality: agender/omnisexualPronouns: they/them she/her he/him (technically her race doesn’t deal with gender/pronouns/sexuality? they’re heavenly bodies soooo)Ethnicity/Species: a living starBirthplace and Birthdate: noneGuilty Pleasures: her moonPhobias: being locked away and forced to forget her moon (which has since happened)What They Would Be Famous For: defying a sunWhat They Would Get Arrested For: defying a sunOC You Ship Them With: her moon, who doesn’t have much of a design yetOC Most Likely To Murder Them: the jealous sunFavorite Movie/Book Genre: soft romance and fantasy fictionLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: forced romances that don’t develop/make senseTalents and/or Powers: she has intense light and heat, and can maneuver her way across the night sky to light the way for lost wanderersWhy Someone Might Love Them: she is gentle and kind, motherly almostWhy Someone Might Hate Them: she can sometimes not keep her mouth shut and if the reward outweighs the risk she’s not afraid of consequencesHow They Change: no changes, shes new!!Why You Love Them: i love her story and design

Alrighty! Onto the twins Aven and Neva!

Full Name: Neva CarmondyGender and Sexuality: female, bisexualPronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: human, idk ethnicity just yet but she’s pretty tan naturallyBirthplace and Birthdate: birthday is March 7Guilty Pleasures: Cheap beerPhobias: she’s actually really afraid of needles and blood in general for some reason?What They Would Be Famous For: whatever she got arrested for tbhWhat They Would Get Arrested For: public disturbance or climbing something she shouldn’t. maybe getting in a fightOC You Ship Them With: none atm!OC Most Likely To Murder Them: her brother tbh lolFavorite Movie/Book Genre: she doesn’t really read books, but she likes audio ones! and actually really loves historical fictionLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: I hate you! oh i love you now!Talents and/or Powers: well i actually have them in BNHA, so they do have powers! She can alter/add something to people’s memories! she also took gymnastics for 8 years as a kid so shes pretty flexibleWhy Someone Might Love Them: shes fun! and totally willing to throw down for someoneWhy Someone Might Hate Them: a bit airheaded and doesn’t like to focus on serious things, she’d rather focus on having funHow They Change: honestly not too much? maybe a little less thot and a little more party but nothing major lolWhy You Love Them: it’s just a fun character!! and her dynamic with her brother is great

Full Name: Aven Carmondy (their 1st names are just reversed of each other lol)Gender and Sexuality: male, questioningPronouns: he/himEthnicity/Species: again, idk ethnicity yetBirthplace and Birthdate: March 7Guilty Pleasures: dumb looking t-shirtsPhobias: worms (his sister thinks its hilarious)What They Would Be Famous For: being a philanthropist idk he hates being the center of attentionWhat They Would Get Arrested For: beating somebody for hurting his sisterOC You Ship Them With: none!OC Most Likely To Murder Them: none atm!Favorite Movie/Book Genre: sci-fiLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: inaccurate fake science lolTalents and/or Powers: again, has powers so! He can erase parts/whole memories!Why Someone Might Love Them: is the Mom Friend and very caring and protectiveWhy Someone Might Hate Them: painfully shy at first and a buzzkill at times worrying too muchHow They Change: he’s actually gotten a little more reserved! sorry buddy lolWhy You Love Them: i just do! also looking back at it we are pretty similar

And now onto the big two!!!! :D

Full Name: Kronixus (Krow) Lioneheart (lion-heart)Gender and Sexuality: male, GAAAAYYYY AFFFFFFPronouns: he/himEthnicity/Species: changes depending on my mood bc i use him in a bunch of stuff? but always a mixBirthplace and Birthdate: October 31stGuilty Pleasures: pop musicPhobias: snakes, has a legit phobia of a certain shade of pink its weird as hellWhat They Would Be Famous For: being a mad scientist/famous inventorWhat They Would Get Arrested For: beating somebody for hurting his sister/just getting in a fight in general OC You Ship Them With: none atm! (it’s usually with canon characters lol)OC Most Likely To Murder Them: ravenna tbhFavorite Movie/Book Genre: sci-fi and gritty romanceLeast Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: ALSO inaccurate fake science. if its not plausible he throws a fitTalents and/or Powers: very smart!!!! has a great knack with machines, but shit at math it’s weird. also pretty musically giftedWhy Someone Might Love Them: he looks like a hard ass but is pretty sweet when you get to know him and v sensitive but still ready to fight someone for you w/ no questions askedWhy Someone Might Hate Them: ready to fight someone w/ no questions asked. also everyone thinks he’s straight so a lot of people get mad that their girlfriend thinks he’s hotHow They Change: was actually originally just a genderbend version of my main oc, but now is his own character completely with a different (more chaotic) personality! also was pan, but slowly evolved into just gay lolWhy You Love Them: he’s great! he’s such a chaotic gay energy but hides it under a hard-ass facade and i love him. i’ve also had him a while so yeah lol i put him in a lot of different aus/fandoms

The main one!!! My babey!!!!!

Full Name: Ravenna (Raven) Lioneheart (lol get it, raven and crow?)Gender and Sexuality: female, pansexual!!!!Pronouns: she/herEthnicity/Species: again, idk ethnicityBirthplace and Birthdate: October 31stGuilty Pleasures: ummm? partying i guess? sometimes she loves it alittle TOO much lolPhobias: snakes, the dark, swimming (shes says drowning buttttt)What They Would Be Famous For: her music getting bigWhat They Would Get Arrested For: getting in a fight, public disturbancesOC You Ship Them With: none! just canon characters ^^’OC Most Likely To Murder Them: none?Favorite Movie/Book Genre: high fantasy and sci-fi!Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: dumb romance/heavy political stuffTalents and/or Powers: she has powers depending on the universe, and they change on my mood so not listing that. But she’s pretty good with machines (Krow is better) and really good at the arts! Much better than Kronixus! also very smartWhy Someone Might Love Them: will go to the ends of the earth for the ones she cares about, and it takes a lot to break her trust once she has it. can be very lovingWhy Someone Might Hate Them: is loud and not afraid to voice her opinions. thinks she’s bigger than she is and sometimes gets her ass kicked for itHow They Change: she was actually originally a self-insert a LONG time ago, but has grown with me and developed into her own person! obviously we still share similarities, mostly in what we like, but i’ve had her for so long it’s really hard to remember what it was like without herWhy You Love Them: again, i’ve had her FOREVER! and i just love tweaking her to fit whatever au i’m doing atm!

#ahhhh this was so much fun!!!!#guilty pleasures was the hardest one to answer tbh #but yeah!#my main ocs!#sand-rose

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margridarnauds · 5 years

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6, 7, 10, 21, 23

THANKS AVERY

6. Answered here

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Let’s have the SALT. (Mandatory disclaimer that my own personal feelings towards the SHIP does not inherently extend to the shippers, that I ship many dynamics that some people would call “abusive” given the ongoing debate over what “enemies to lovers” means, and that some dynamics here are things that I might have shipped under other circumstances, but things just...didn’t work out that way.)

Cats - I hated Plato/Victoria before I even knew that it was POSSIBLE to hate a ship that much. I always went with the Plato = Macavity theory to get that little skeavy dudebro off my girl. (Also, I’ll be honest, the whole “mating dance” thing is...such a fucking weird sequence anyway. Like, my ship preferences aside, ALW WHY DID YOU HAVE TO HAVE A SCENE WHERE THE CATS FUCK?)

Pirates of the Caribbean - Jack Sparrow/Elizabeth.

Harry Potter - Ron/Hermione. I never saw it, tbh, and they seemed to be pretty bad for one another, even in the books. The films just took it up several notches.

OUAT - Captain motherfucking Swan. I hated that smug, greasy little motherfucker so much. So much.

Star Trek Ds9: Jadzia/Worf. THERE. I SAID IT. Both sides brought out the absolute worst in each other, leading to an absolute trashfire of a ship that obliterated all in its wake. AND THEN WE HAD TO DEAL WITH THE FALLOUT OF THAT. EVEN AFTER THE SHIP WAS *DEAD*. Don’t mind me, don’t mind me. I’m cool, I’m cool.

Carmilla - Tbh...Laferry. Never my thing. I know that her character development’s a BIG part of Perry’s arc and I fully embrace character growth, but it just. Left a bad taste in my mouth. And the way shippers used to treat Laflashdrive shippers back in the day. As if shipping a nonbinary character and a flashdrive somehow makes it hetero. (#LetLafBeaRobotfucker2k19).

Les Miserables - You know what? While I’m on the Salt Train...

Enjolras/Grantaire. Now, there are plenty of ships that are probably more deeply annoying to me, but none are as prevalent as this one. And I might like them a lot more if they WEREN’T so prevalent. But as it is, it’s like a black HOLE that’s devoured the fandom, so that you’d think the entire fucking novel/musical is about these two. And. Maybe I shouldn’t talk given what I ship, but it isn’t even like they’re THEM at this point, they’re just two generic white guys in an “uwu” relationship. And I’m not speaking for EVERY single thing given that I have neither the time, concentration, or will to read every. Single. Thing. Made about these two, but it’s something I’ve noticed, though I’m not saying that I haven’t enjoyed SOME things made about them and the whole “You believe in nothing.” “I believe in you” is...good content.

It’s like...you’re walking in the woods (there’s no one around and your phone is dead) and you see a brightly colored pink tree. At first, it’s great. A pink tree! You’ve never seen one of those before. You wander further into the woods, and there’s another! And another! And soon enough, you’re surrounded by pink trees, in a technicolored horror realm. Where’s the sky? Where did you come in at? You think you remember seeing the sun once, but NO, it’s another fucking pink tree blocking your way. There is no God, there is no ground, there is only a technicolored nightmare blocking your every move, drowning you in visions of Barbie-esque horror.

Terra Nova - Skye/Lucas. WHY GOD WHY? Look, we KNOW I have terrible taste in ships, some of which have...questionable dynamics. BUT EVEN I CAN’T GET INTO THIS ONE. There’s no...mutual spark between the two of them, just Lucas creeping on Skye and Skye trying to get away. Also, since I’m here...Skye is estimate to have been born in ‘32-33, making her approximately 16-17 by the time the plot kicks into gear. Let’s be very generous and bump her into 17-18. Lucas? 2124, making him...oh, 25. Not the WORST age gap I’ve ever seen in my lifetime...but....questionable. Very questionable. And I know the series wants to have us believe that people grow up faster (see: The fact they actually think Maddy’s old enough to GET MARRIED. TO A SOLDIER. WHO IS REALISTICALLY IN DANGER OF MAKING HER A WIDOW,) but NO. Like, at my CURRENT AGE, with less than four years separating me from that age gap, I can’t see it. That is still at least 7 years of experience in the “real world” that she doesn’t have. He still saw someone with THAT MUCH of an age gap with him and WANTED something, whether or not she wanted it or not, and tried to PURSUE that something while calling her “sister”. Like, I can’t stop anyone from shipping it and I have a firm “ship and let ship” mentality, but....EW. EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWeWEEWEWEW.

B5 - I’m in the same boat as you as far as...on one hand. Byron/Lyta makes me want to vomit, but also...our Teep OC does owe her existence to her weird, hetero white goth uncle.

Star Wars: Han/Leia. Because, as we all know, cornering a woman before you kiss her is the love story of the generation. Han would have been better with Luke and Leia with Holdo.

The Pirate Queen - Tiernan/Gráinne. I. Hate. This. Ship.

His Dark Materials - Torn between Ruta Skadi/Asriel and Lyra/Will. Tbh, leaning towards the latter because while the former is AWFUL and signifies the quite frankly terrible writing decisions that distinguish the second and third books, at least it didn’t involve a badass, feral girl child becoming a dainty, submissive 50s housewife in the body of a 12 year old. “Oh, Will, I’ll do whatever you say, I promise. I won’t use my awesome powers unless you say I can, you’re so fantastic, Will.” Gag me. Also...they’re twelve. This doesn’t HAVE to be an epic, tragic romance, and the fact that their “kiss” (WHAT THE FUCK PULLMAN, WHAT THE FUCK, I’M NOT A PURITAN BUT WHAT THE FUCK) is the key to saving the universe? Really? Basically, they should have been friends.

1789 - Danton/Solène. (I KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT I WOULD SAY, BUT NO. MY HATRED FOR THIS ONE MANAGES TO OUTSHINE IT.) “But Rachel,” you might say, “You’ve been very, very open about preferring anything to Ronan/Olympe” and that’s TRUE. But the Toho version managed to push my hatred of this one with The Scene, AKA “Go back to the kitchen, Solène and let the menfolk take care of this.” The French version didn’t even really have it as A Thing, he was just a customer. And the amount of time Danton spends with Solène is always directly proportional to the amount of spinal surgery she’s going to have. Now, I can’t exactly BLAME the two Japanese productions for doing what they did, because they have to appeal to a Japanese audience in the way they see fit. It’s an ADAPTATION of 1789, not a tour of it. But that doesn’t mean I have to LIKE it. And. Like. You know there’s no way THAT one’s going to end in a way that’s good for Solène. Either (1) he’ll set her aside for his family or (2) If they SOMEHOW stay together...the Reign of Terror’s looming.

Also: Danton/Charlotte. No. No. Just. No. There are so many reasons why. But no.

Ace Attorney - Maya/Nick. WHY SWEET MOTHER OF HETERONORMATIVITY WHY?

10. Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

We’ve both discussed a lot about how...DIFFICULT it can be to write fic for something. There are a lot of things I love dearly but just don’t have it in me to write fic for. Ace Attorney is an obvious one, Mozart l’Opera Rock, Elisabeth (though I’m trying to work on that one), Les Miserables, Star Wars, Star Trek, B5....a ton more that I could mention but it would honestly take too much time. Words hard, reading still hard but slightly easier.

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

The first thing I ever wrote, when I was five years old, was (very heteronormative) fanfiction for The Stinky Cheese Man, where he finds The Stinky Cheese Woman, which now, of course, I recognize as my own attempt to write myself into a narrative from which I’d been excluded. Or something. I think my mom still has it buried someplace, lurking...

Also, @theocraindora at some point managed to get me to write at least one full Carmilla AU during the second season, when we both must have been about 17-18-ish, if my math’s not too dubious, and that was the first thing I ever actually finished for a long time, even though it didn’t ever meet my personal standards for publishing and is likely to stay buried. For awhile, at least.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Since I talked about PLP’s tragic backstory, time for something happier. Paradise Lost, which I’m actually pretty damn happy with because it was my first time working with something that’s not a historical piece, and it was honestly a treat working with Mira’s voice. I think that Mira really “clicked” for me as a character here. Like, “Yes, this is why she’s like this, this makes sense.” There are some times where you can really feel a character’s voice when you’re writing and you can get things out, and this was one of those very rare times for me. Not saying that it’s going to happen NEXT time, but this time, it was rather relaxing.

It was honestly one of the smoother writing experiences I had? Like, it only took me about a day or so, from when we exchanged PMs to publishing it, which is pretty impressive, all things considered. I’m still not tossing out doing anything more with this world in the future, tbh. That and Goosefic were probably two of the easiest to just...get out. (WHICH. 92 HITS. GOOSEFIC HAS 92 HITS. THAT IS INSANE FOR A ONE-SHOT IN A SMALL FANDOM. HOLY SHIT.)

(From your other ask!)

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I’ve been WRITING fanfiction since I could hold a pencil and make scribbles. When I was younger, I could write that kind of thing easily, the shame came later.

Finding out that fanfiction EXISTED...was probably when I was about 9-10 and found Balto x Harry Potter crossover fanfiction. Which. In hindsight. Was pretty horrible, but my young self was CAPTIVATED because Balto and Harry Potter? In the same universe? IT WAS LIKE MAGIC.

Astonishingly, I did not read M rated stuff until I was at least 15-16-ish. I kept myself remarkably sheltered and only looked into it when I became curious. And got over my weird hyper-religious phase.

When I was about 12-13, I started to toy with writing myself, writing my own OC crossovers for Phantom Manor (the gother, European version of Haunted Mansion that was my special interest for. Ages). Carmilla when I was 17-18 was one of the first things I wrote a full, complete Thing for, even if I never published anything for it. And from there, I’d try to write things for both The Pirate Queen and Dracula, though both projects proved to be too ambitious and I ended up cutting them off, tragically, but they gave me the confidence I needed to get into 1789, which I DID publish something for finally, on the day I was taking my GRE because. Well. I had something else I feared more than a flame.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

I don’t know if this is one thing or five separate things in a trenchcoat, but here you go.

I love how we can explore things that could never be explored in canon, for one reason or another; I love that we have an experience that we can filter according to what WE want, including trigger warnings, which is honestly a godsend to me. We talk a lot about the transformative nature of fanfic, and it IS, but also, the level of empowerment that comes with being able to take back a narrative that says “hey, you’re not supposed to be in this narrative” or “You’ll like what we put out and you’ll stick with it” or “Well, if you don’t like it, create your own” and say “Okay, I will.” And, obviously the comments are lovely, having that kind of instant encouragement, and in the small fandoms in particular, it’s VITAL, but I also don’t feel like they’re inherently mandatory or that readers should feel FORCED. But I do love that, no matter what, something you write can connect with someone from the other side of the world. Like, people can argue all they want about fanfic being valid or not, but MOST people who want to be professional writers never get that. And when you stop and think about how we’ve been changing the narrative for as long as we’ve had oral stories, that this is how storytelling was ORIGINALLY done...that’s very humbling.

#janetcarter

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agnesgoesadventuring-blog · 7 years

Text

This is an email I received from someone who wishes to remain anonymous (I’m assuming it’s from the person who asked me for my email address). It’s in regards to the message I answered a couple of weeks or so ago about why the “magic!cock” trope and stories where a character magically changes their genitals for sex are harmful for and hurtful to trans people.

I’m posting most of it under a Read More just because, with the email and my response, it’s very long. I tagged this as "Critical Role” and “vaxleth” because the sender asked me in earnest to do so.

Your post about the why things like the magic!cock trope are harmful made me cry. I'm a trans man, so seeing someone saying everything I was thinking meant so much to me.

I hope you tag this in the Critical Role and Vaxleth tags. I understand why you might not want to, because people can be pretty nasty when they feel like something they enjoy is being attacked. But even though I'm not brave enough to say this on my on tumblr under my own name, I would really appreciate my voice, as a trans man, being heard on this.

I've been in a few different fandoms, and I've seen the magic!cock and girl!peen tropes a lot. It happened so much in the Glee fandom that it was like its own subgenre. I've always been so uncomfortable with them. Seeing them hurt a lot. I can't afford hormone therapy. I'm probably never going to be able to afford to transition, and that means I'm one of those people who is never going to have the body that I feel like I'm supposed to have. Stories where women are magically given penises during sex and then magically go back to being "normal" after hurts me in so many ways. The trope treats the body I know I'm supposed to have as some kind of a fetish, and that after sex that identity has to disappear to go back to being a "normal" woman. It's like being told that my identity is only useful or good enough for sex, for some kink, like wanting a penis is just about sex and that's I'm just supposed to be a woman outside of that.

I saw trans women hurt by it too. I knew that they felt like the bodies they had were being fetishized and like the fics treated them like they weren't real women because they couldn't just go back to being "normal" at the end, but I could never understand how they really felt until I saw the reverse of the trope in the Vaxleth fandom.

I'd never seen the opposite of the magic!cock trope until the Vaxleth fandom. So far I've seen one story where Keyleth uses her magic to give Vax a vagina and one story where Vax gets cursed and is given breasts. (I know, some people are going to say "oh, it's just two stories", but that's still two stories too many and it's not like there are a ton of Vaxleth fics). It kind of blindsided me to see these fics and they effected me in a completely different way than magic!cock fics. It hurt me way worse, and that was something I didn't think was possible.

I felt like I was being fetishized in a completely different way. They took a body like the one I'm supposed to have, changed it into a body that resembled the body I do have but don't belong in for the sole purpose of getting off, and then changed it back to being "normal" at the end. It was like the body I do have was being taken out for a spin and then tossed aside once the person using it got off, so they could go back to being a "real" man, like unless you have the kind of body I know I'm supposed to have but will never be able to have I don't get to be a "normal" man. Like, as a man, the body I have is only good for sex, and not good enough to actually be a man.

These stories are basically "she's a real girl but she magically gets a penis for sexy fun" or "he's a real man but he magically gets a vagina for sexy fun" and that there are so many people who don't see why that would be so hurtful to trans people makes it hurt even more.

I don't know if that really explains it well because I'm trying to put words to feelings I have about the way ideas about trans people that I've had to deal with for so long are being put into fics and I don't know if I can do that and be understandable. And I know I'm not saying everything because I can't even put everything to word. Like, there are some cisnormative things about about magic!vagina and heteronormative things about magic!cock that I feel like I can't really articulate well because of how overwhelming my feelings about this whole things are.

I'm also bi, so I'm really bothered by the fic where Vax is given a vagina because in a way it equates being bisexual but having a preference for a certain kind of sex with gender dysphoria. I've experienced both of those things and they are not even close to being a same. And as a bi person I feel like stories that change the sex organs during sex is sort of invalidating, too. Because there's so much erasure of bisexuality with things like "you're really just gay" or "you're really just straight".

I've heard all the defenses. That it's just like some kind of "enhanced" sex toy, that it's because cis queer women want to explore what it would be like to be able to feel their partner in that way, that nonbinary people want to explore the idea of their bodies being different, but none of that changes the fact that it's fetishizing trans people's bodies, treating us like our bodies or identities aren't good or normal enough. And then of course there are always people who say that we're "kinkshaming", without realizing that by saying that they're pretty much admitting to turning our bodies and identities into kinks.

Just because you benefit from something (like exploring sexual ideas like things mentioned above) doesn't mean it doesn't hurt people, and if something is hurting people then maybe it's a good idea to find another way to explore those ideas. Because there are other ways. There are always other ways. This is representation that harms trans people, and if you don't care or you're putting the things that you want above harm being done to other people, then you're an asshole. I know people are always going to say that anyone who has a problem with any kind of fic is "policing" or "kinkshaming" because they think that fic isn't "nice enough" or is "too dirty" or "weird" or "not polite" or whatever, but those are just easy covers for "I don't care about people whose experiences are different from mine and I'm going to keep doing what I want because I don't care if it hurts other people." And just because you CAN do something doesn't mean you should. It's not okay to get off on the backs of other people, and it's not okay to explore your own sexual and gender stuff on the backs of other people, either.

In the Vaxleth fandom we've had both of these things now. Magic!Cock (because I guess Marisha said something about Keyleth using her magic for that at a con or something) and magic!vagina and other magical alterations to give a man breasts (the fics) so I guess it's kind of unique to have both and that means that more vulnerable people are going to be hurt. Can we please at least acknowledge how hurtful these things can be to trans people and how transphobic the tropes are? Can we at least do that much? I mean, it would be nice if people would just stop using our bodies and identities to get off, or stop using our bodies and identities to explore their own stuff. But if that's not going to happen, can we at least admit how hurtful this is? My body and my identity are not fantasies for you to do what you want with. The bodies and identities of other trans people are not yours to do what you want with. What you want to imagine and explore was a very real dysphoric nightmare for us. It hurts us. If you're not going to stop, at least acknowledge that so that you can maybe try to take more care in writing these fics or look for ways to explore these things that aren't so hurtful to trans people. I do feel like there are possible ways that these things can be explored that don't actively harm trans people. But I have yet to see them because most of the time people don't care about whether or not they're harming trans people.

I’m so glad you sent this. When I responded to the last message (which was also sent by a trans person), I was having a hard time, because I was repeating what I’d heard from trans people, as I’m not trans myself. And even though I was repeating what had been said to me rather than inserting my own interpretations and such, I still worried that it was too much like I was speaking for trans people. So I’m very happy to have other trans people share their experiences and feelings on this matter.

Too often people use other people and their experiences/identities/and so on to explore their own personal stuff, or even to just, as you say, get off, and then when the people who are being exploited for these things say something like “hey, this hurts us” or “these stories are perpetuating tropes that are harmful to us”, people go on the defensive and start accusing people of “policing” or “kinkshaming”, casting themselves as the victim and the people who are being exploited and even oppressed as the villain. Instead of taking a step back and considering what people are saying, they prioritize their wants.

Nobody has the right to hurt other people just because the thing they’re doing that causes that hurt is beneficial to them, or enjoyable to them. It’s not kinkshaming or policing when someone tells you “this thing you’re doing is hurting me” or “this thing you’re doing is hurting these people”.

It’s not kinkshaming or fandom policing to tell someone they’re doing something wrong.

I’ll just never be able to understand the way some people are just so willing to dismiss people who are suffering or marginalized just so that they don’t have to stop doing something they like, or just so that they don’t have to change the way they do things.

We need to listen to people when they tell us we’re doing something that harms them, especially if it’s coming from people who are already marginalized or oppressed. And we need to really think about the things we do and whether or not there’s a way to do those things without hurting these people. When it comes to fandom, so many people are so focused on their fandom experience, and what fandom can do for them, but they often don’t think enough about the fandom experience of others and how certain things that are common in or that happen in fandom impact them. While every fandom is very different, the one thing they all have in common is that they’re a community. Communities are supposed to take care of each other. Communities don’t work when people just take what they want without caring about anyone else.

#critical role #vaxleth #my metas

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