#I told my mum/dad to sort it but neither of them cared enough | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

marthajonesuk · 1 year

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Monday, May 07, 2007

Home again

Okay, I was wrong. Sort of, anyway...

He brought me home. After everything we've been through, he brought me home. Which is fair enough, I guess. It's up to him who he travels with but, yeah, to say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

But then, as always with him, things got in the way... I'm guessing you saw the Lazarus Laboratory thing on the news. And I'm guessing that by now, you've worked out that the Doctor was involved. Thing is, this time so were my family.

I remember when I first went away to Uni. Came back for Christmas (that time of peace and goodwill – haha!) and it was so odd how they'd changed. We'd all grown up together and been through everything together but, after just a couple of months, it was obvious that things had changed. The cracks had started to show in mum and dad's marriage (and even though he eventually had the affair, mum realised their whole relationship was going wrong way before Annalise actually arrived on the scene. She's pretty sharp, my old ma!) Tish and Leo had both changed as well. Tish had moved into some tiny little bedsit and Leo had started seeing Shonara. And it had all happened while I was away. Which I guess is normal for families.

This time it was different. For them, it was the day after Leo's birthday thing but for me? Well, you know what I've been through. You know what I've seen and done since then. So, yeah, it was like I'd changed but they hadn't. I have changed, I realise that. I'm seeing things differently. And for them, I'd not even been away so none of them would understand just how big it all is. And I can't tell them because they'd think I was mad. Blimey, time travel messes with your mind.

Actually, I say they haven't changed but Leo told me that he was going to vote in the election. Leo?! Voting?!?! The world has officially gone mad.

One thing that so hadn't changed was that even though it was Tish's night, mum was still focussed on me. Tish is a year older than me but I've always been the responsible one (or the boring one as someone with a death wish might say). She never went to Uni or anything so I've always been treated as the oldest. Mum's always said that Tish should be more like me which isn't the best thing a mum can do but she doesn't mean anything bad by it. I think Tish used to resent me for it but, right now, we get on great. It's like we have this competition - I'm always trying to get her to grow up and she's always trying to get me to chill. And I've just realised, it's like we're swapping lives! I'm the one on the big holiday and she's the one in the business suit. Oh and that's mental as well. She's somehow got herself this big important job but she's such a mess. Honestly, you should see the state of her flat!! Mine, of course, is spotless.

And seeing them all, it was difficult in a way because it reminded me of what I'm leaving behind when I go off with the Doctor. I know they'll be there for me when I get back but I just hope neither me or them change too much. When I go off with the Doctor? Oh yeah, despite what I said at the beginning, I'm off again! But this time, it's totally on my terms.

You see, at the end of it all, the Doctor said I could go on one more trip but I said no. I don't care that he's the most amazing bloke I've ever met, I'm not going to be some kind of hitcher. I'm not going to be his assistant. So, I told him this. And he said I was never really that anyway.

So we're off together – as equals? Well, 60/40. Oh all right, 35/75. But it's definitely a more…permanent arrangement this time. And where now? Somewhere new. Somewhere brilliant, probably. Somewhere mad, definitely. And, hopefully, somewhere nice and sunny!

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mummybearmusing · 2 years

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2018 Renegeing Again

SO DAD BEAR HAS RENEGED AGAIN.. QUELLE SURPRISE

it seems over and over dad takes mum to court for Parental Alienation, accuses mum of it, and residency is awarded to dad..

It’s not the reason dad took me, nor the reason he was given residency..that was due to my “mh issues and being a safeguard risk” - neither proven in court as i wasnt directed to give evidence before she made a ruling..i didnt know what would happen if i argued or said i disagreed with things.. and she put a plan of good progression in place so we would be 50/50 shared care within 12 months..

It’s now been 15 (18 since I first took him to court to re-gain contact/access.. I fecking hate these words.. I’m his mother.. not his baby sitter, not a random relative, not a violent aggressive, evil, vindictive, vile human.. a loving mother who wants best for her cub

The wording of our order basically makes any progression down to him..and we’re basically nowhere from the original ruling

Daddy Bear has gone from saying these new changes we agreed back before cub broke up from school that were meant to start today, being new school year new start -his words about why he wanted to keep all as is over summer

he’s now said he wants things to stay the same until we go mediation and we’ll sort it all out there.. we dont have a date for mediation yet as both solicitors have just returned from annual leave #

..And if that wasn’t bad/distressing/upsetting enough..

we have a court date next week which obv both teams have asked to postpone so we can attempt mediation first..i had an email yesterday saying i do not need to go and they have basically said it may be too late to postpone and they have emailed to say i have asked for the hearing to be done in my absence, er no..dont think so.. why on earth would i say have the hearing without me there, without me being represented..and why on earth would i risk not going whether i am with a legal person or not, when he could rock up with his and my ‘i was told i didnt need to go’ will get me nowhere..

I absolutely never told them to tell anyone I gave consent that the court hearing can be heard without me there

I have emailed my legal team a strong email and I will be calling non stop until I get hold of someone

First things first..shower and get ready to go see my cub in to school on his first day back.. he didn’t even want me doing this.. he told me he would text me and tell me where to collect him from later.. I told him I am not missing our sons first morning and I will meet them on the way.

He also told me to pick him up next Tues from school and he’ll pick him up the day after as that’s his day off.. I have always said I will step aside on his days off.. but that is OUR sons birthday so no pigging way am I not seeing him then. It’s bad and heartbreaking enough that I will wake up alone that morning and I won’t be able to see him, like hell am I not seeing him on that day!!

I don’t know who I’m more angry at..the solicitors for getting that out of nowhere and they couldn’t have got that more wrong, and I do NOT understand how

Him for letting me tell our cub I will pick him up, we’ll go feed the ducks and we’ll come home and then we can walk back together to the house/he can scoot back.. his face was amazing, then DB turns round and says that starts tomorrow..no we’ll sort it all out when we get to mediation we’ll keep things as they are til then..

He said I could pick him up today (IF I had someone with us) and when I asked if he wanted me to pick him up tomorrow too while he was at work he said “no, mum will its fine”

..Or myself for agreeing to be amicable and civil and attend mediation.. we haven’t even got there yet and he’s already proved why it won’t work

Why oh why am I such a pushover when it comes to my childs best interests?

And one other thing while I’m on one..

I had two texts all week, we’re here and all good and we’re back and all good

When I was in Brighton with him he messaged him on whatsapp with emoji conversations several nights, and he gave him a call while we were away

Why oh why did I expect him to extend the same courtesy.. my son asked for him to send me a postcard.. yeah.. still waiting to receive that too!!

#MummaBearMusings

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