#I’m mad cos i wanted to finally treat myself cos i had a good payday and it’s GONE fml.

[rowanhoney]

Wait I’m more mad

#I’m mad cos i wanted to finally treat myself cos i had a good payday and it’s GONE fml. #but also my boots broke after 6 days #so I paid a bunch to fix them cos was cheaper than buying new boots #and they broke again within a few weeks #so I got bought new boots for my birthday! they were labeled as a 38 and they were chunky base but looked sleek #except they looked a bit clown like when I put them on which was weird #wore them all day and struggled #the sale sticker on the base was covering the real size. they’re a 41 not a 38🙃 #but I can’t take them back now I’ve worn them etc #so I have to take them to the charity shop and I once again don’t have shoes #and I can’t go buy myself shoes cos I have to send my grandparents money because my mother is an awful drain of a person #i literally just want the basics #when I was small my mother used to say I was a spoilt brat #and would manipulate people into giving me whatever I want #and what she meant was I preferred staying at a house where I was given food. #though I was very much deprived of basics there #again ! shoe problems! my family didn’t want to waste money so they’d only let me buy the cheapest shoes #and I remember walking home from school one day #absolutely soaked because again. the sole had come off and it was pouring with rain #and there was nothing I could do. #I’m just so tired of my family’s attitudes around money #like no one can be normal #they either have it and are frugal to a point of detriment #or they don’t have it and live lavishly and rely on everyone else to fund their lifestyle #and I’m stuck in the middle just about having enough. like I’ll be okay. I just want a pair of shoes that last longer than a week #and don’t cause me a lot of pain #and I wanna be able to eat fine without worry #which I can manage to do. like not much else but I can get by fine #and I’m happy!!!! until I get dragged into the middle of this bs and it triggers the fuck out of me #lmfao this is so funny cos I have Chiron in the 2nd house. valid af