#which I can manage to do. like not much else but I can get by fine

[ceoofyearning]

All I Want - Cassian

Pairing: Cassian x Bestfriend! Reader Summary: When Nesta Archeron dropped into Cassian’s life with the cataclysmic force of silver wildfire, you took one look at them and knew you missed your chance. There’s no fighting against a mating bond. But that hasn’t stopped the memory of him from haunting you since.  Except there he is, decades later, just across the room, watching you watch him. Rating & Warnings: T/M | Hurt & Comfort, angst to fluff, PAST Nessian, recreational mirthroot use, alcohol, suggestive but nothing explicit (lmk if i miss anything else) Word Count: 4.4k Links: Masterlist

A part of you had always craved to see the rest of the world, and when you got the chance to work in the Day Court three decades ago, it seemed like the perfect opportunity. With how things were, it seemed like the perfect excuse to leave. After all, it’s not as if you had a reason to stay. The mating bond between snapping Nesta and Cassian had made sure of that. 

In many ways, leaving felt like the easier choice - to shed your past and start anew in a court where no one knew you - a clean slate. Mother knows you needed one. 

Your work for Helion involves acquiring ancient texts and artifacts for the One Thousand Libraries of Day. It required you to travel all over Phythian, even as far as the continent to procure these items yourself. You adore your job and enjoy the freedom it affords you, but when you were given the opportunity to go back to Velaris to manage the satellite division connected to the Great Library, a part of you had been reluctant to agree. Coming back meant facing your past. And that, more than anything, was terrifying. 

It has been a few weeks since your return to the City of Stars. Although you didn’t have much time outside of work, you do try to maintain a semblance of a social life. Mor made sure of that. When you first met her a few centuries ago, Mor had taken one look at you, a broken, wingless half-Ilyrian female, and decided that the two of you must become friends. Perhaps she saw a piece of herself in you, in your defiance against a world that was out to get you. 

You had been close friends with Mor in the past, and the moment she heard you were back in town, she reached out to reconnect. You appreciated it immensely, of course. Going back and having to build a life for yourself in Velaris after all these years of being gone seems less daunting with a friend by your side. So when Mor asks you to go out, you try to go whenever you can afford to, desperate to grasp at chances to belong, despite yourself. Tonight, Mor practically dragged you out of your apartment for drinks and to briefly attend a ball in the Moonstone Palace. 

“I don’t understand why Emerie is allowed to pass,” you grumble morosely as you peer up the warmly-lit exterior of Rita’s. 

“Because Em hasn’t been hiding out in the library for the past week,” Mor counters blithely. 

“I was busy,” you retort in vain, knowing full well that all resistance is futile. 

“You’re always busy,” Mor retorts, throwing an arm around your neck. Your friend is clad in her usual skin-tight red dress, exuding self-confidence with each step she takes. You shoot her a look of sheer betrayal, and she laughs, raising her hands in mock surrender. “It’s for your own good. You deserve to have fun too, you know?” Mor says with exaggerated gravity, which has you rolling your eyes. 

You sigh, and pad after her, knowing there is no use trying to argue now that she has already dragged you here. You practically trip over yourself on your borrowed heels, as you try to adjust the straps of the dress Mor had squeezed you into. It’s a resplendent satin dress with a terrifyingly low neckline and an even terrifyingly high slit up your left thigh. To her credit, however, the black dress fits you like a glove, a testament to Mor’s eye for fashion. With much effort, you banish the thoughts of all your responsibilities and deadlines to the void. Fine, you’ll try to have fun tonight, at least. 

You would've been happy enough with a simple dinner, maybe even some wine, but of course, Mor idea of fun rarely coincides with yours. The initial plan is to have just a few drinks at a nice, quiet bar - catch up a bit, and have a good laugh. But as the night progressed, Mor had piled you with more and more alcohol, and you became more amenable to going along with her unhinged plans. 

It starts with you moving to another bar, then another, until you finally find yourselves right in the middle of the overcrowded dance floor in the Moonstone Palace. To call this gathering a ball would be far too generous. Sometime in the night, the party had devolved to the very picture of debauchery. The air was thick with the scent of sweat, spilled liquor, and bad decisions. It’s a good thing you were drunk enough to not mind the overwhelming press of bodies against you. You could even admit that there’s some comfort to be had in being just another face lost in the crowd - free to enjoy the music, to simply be. The beat seems to reverberate throughout the whole room, through your bones, pulling you and everyone else into movement, like a collective heartbeat. Amidst the sea of nameless, gyrating bodies, that’s where you catch a glimpse of him - a slip of darkness, flickering in and out of view as the kaleidoscope of colors shifts overhead. 

Cassian.

Your attention doesn’t go unnoticed for long. His hazel eyes catch yours, and for a moment, the world stops existing. There is only you, and him and the weight of all the love, heartache and desolation between you. A blink, and reality returns to its normal unrelenting pace.

His muscled frame is evident even from a distance, the outline of his strong shoulders and defined arms visible beneath the blank long-sleeved shirt he wore. Intricate tattoos peek through the opened buttons of his shirt, their dark lines running from his neck, chest, down to his forearms. 

You knew Cassian back when you still lived in the Night Court, fancied yourself in love with his charming smile and penchant for mischief. More than anything, you admired him for his kindness. He had been the one to help you escape the camps, even helped set you up here in Velaris. As a half-Ilyrian female with no wings or any significant Ilyrian power, you don’t doubt that staying would have been a death sentence. Or worse. 

Afterward, the two of you had spent the better part of the last two centuries circling one another. You didn’t know the name of what you had with Cassian, but the two of you had preferred it that way, not wanting to risk your friendship. You never had the courage to ask for more, not even when you desperately wanted to. But when Nesta Archeron had dropped into his life with the cataclysmic force of silver wildfire, you took one look at them and knew you missed your chance. There’s no fighting against a mating bond. But that hasn’t stopped the memory of him from haunting you since. 

Except there he is, decades later, just across the room, watching you watch him. 

You heard from the grapevine that, seven years ago, after a failed explosive engagement and years of falling in and out of each other's beds, he and Nesta had finally called it quits. The eldest Archeron sister, Lady Death, had moved to the ruins of Dusk to seek her own destiny, to carve the story of her glory onto the earth. Cassian, on the other hand, had decided to remain here in the Night Court. 

A glint of recognition burns in his hazel eyes. For you, Cassian had always been the one that got away. Despite yourself, you find comfort in the thought that it might not have been easy for him to forget you, too.

You can feel your heart beat violently against your chest, threatening to break free from your ribcage. You can’t tell whether it's from anticipation, or a deep-rooted instinct that this? This is very dangerous territory, not unlike walking back into a battlefield you just managed to escape. Regardless of your better judgment, a smile makes its way to your lips, because, in the end, you’re happy to see him.

And Cassian smiles back. 

Throughout the night, you watch Cassian from the corner of your eye, and you feel his gaze on you in return. Sometime in the evening, you lose Mor in the crowd, covertly swept away by a gorgeous Ilyrian female in black. You, in turn, are left precariously perched on a stool, nursing a glass of water. You swallow your disappointment while contemplating the logistics of winnowing home whilst being utterly tipsy, and conclude that you’re more likely to be spliced across time and space than to reach your destination. 

Instead, you give yourself a few minutes to loiter by one of the palace’s expansive balconies, trying to get sober enough to depart. You’ve lost your shoal sometime during the party, but the crisp night air feels great against your heated skin, helping clear your mind. You recline against the chaise, before crossing your ankles and shutting your eyes. You stay like that for a few minutes, just enjoying the muted music and the blessed solitude. 

Your peace doesn’t last long, however. You hear a familiar set of footsteps approach, followed by the telltale groan of the chaise beside you. 

“You’re back,” he sounds breathless, disbelieving as though he hasn’t quite figured out if he’s dreaming. You’d know the calming cadence of his voice anywhere, in the dreaming, even in death. 

“Cassian,” you sigh, just as breathless, just as dismantled by his presence. Finally, your eyes flutter open to peer up at him. You swallow the lump in your throat, and he watches the movement, transfixed. 

You drink in the sight of him like you’re lost in a desert, and he’s the only oasis to be found. His long, wavy locks of midnight-black hair cascade over his shoulders, half pulled back into a disheveled bun behind his head. Loose curls frame his rugged features. He looks sharper, hewn from the toughest steel, but there was a familiar warmth in those hazel eyes.

“I thought I saw you,” he smiles, and your mind nearly implodes at the sight of the dimple on his right cheek. Memories flash, and you remember languid afternoons spent pressing kisses over the same dimple, your nose buried in his neck, your hands tracing shapes over his chest. The moment his hand lands on your knee, however, you snap out of it.

“I’m not sleeping with you,” you notify him pointedly because you are done giving pieces of yourself to this man, no matter how charming he can be, not without anything tangible in return.

He raises his hands over his head, as if in surrender, all the while giving you a crooked grin, “Hey, my intentions are pure, Sunshine. I just wanted to catch up.”

And that statement would have been perfectly fine, you think, if he hadn’t just called you that. Sunshine. God, how you used to love every time he said it, how your heart soared every time he spoke those two syllables. It made you feel special, seen. Now, all it leaves is the scent of smoke in your lungs and the taste of devastation in your tongue

“Cassian, Please,” and you hope to The Mother you sound casual, light, sarcastic even; and not like you’re about to swallow your own damn tongue. “Your intentions are as perpetually black as Azriel’s shadows.”

“I resent that,” he huffs petulantly. “I’m perfectly capable of having a chaste conversation.”

“Right.” You laugh, a real one this time, and Cassian holds his chest in feigned offense. “I just got back, and the first thing you do is lie to me? For shame, Cassian, for shame,” you tease, and a lovely shade of pink invades his cheeks, much to his chagrin. 

As you settle further into the cushions, you ask, "What have you been up to? Those Illyrian Warlords still giving you trouble?"

Cassian leans back, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. "I hardly involve myself in the military anymore," he admits, his tone tinged with an equal measure of relief and exhaustion. "I'm tired of the battlefields, the bloodshed. I’ve seen enough of it for several lifetimes. I want to build, not to destroy; to something new, something greater than myself."

And that’s when you see it - the weariness from the weight of all that violence, from the stains those lost lives have left on his hands. They may have called him the Lord of Bloodshed, and he may have been good at it even, Cassian - at his core - has always had a kind and tender heart. You don’t blame him for wanting to leave that life. 

You nod in understanding. “What are you going to do?” you ask, curiosity piqued.

A spark lights up in his eyes, and his smile returns, softer this time. “I’m not entirely sure yet,” he confesses. “But I want it to be something that helps people, that brings more good into the world. The Valkyries were a great start, but I want to build a place for people like us, my mother, the outcasts - a safe place for all the females, the children and the bastards brutalized by this world. I want to give them a chance for a kinder life.”

Your chest aches, and you reach out, taking his hand in yours. “That sounds wonderful, Cassian.”

He squeezes your hand gently, his eyes full of gratitude. “Thank you.”

He studies you for another long moment, hazel eyes taking you in like he’s seeing you for the first time, as if you held the answer to a question he’s spent a long, long time asking himself. His gaze softens.

As the evening stretches on, you and Cassian talk about everything and nothing, the conversation flowing effortlessly like the constant ebb and flow of the Sidra. Despite what happened in the past, this thing between you two feels natural, almost as if no time has passed. Sitting there with him, you realize how much you've missed this, missed him. Cassian had been your savior, your family, and your closest friend before everything went wrong, and perhaps, that’s the one thing you mourned the most: his presence in your life, regardless of who he was to you. Reconnecting with him now felt like being ripped apart and remade all in one breath. 

Then, he pulls out a pipe from his pocket, and promptly sticks it in between his teeth. You watch, half mesmerized by the way he lights it before taking a slow, steady drag. He breathes it in with practiced ease, before releasing a truly remarkable cloud of smoke. He must’ve noticed you staring because he looks at you and wordlessly offers you a puff. “Remember this?”

You eye him dubiously, “How could I forget.” It’s the same gem-encrusted pipe you had given him as a joke all those years ago, knowing how much he hated unnecessary finery. He had stared at it in horror when you first presented it to him years ago. That he kept it surprised you. 

Memories of the two of you locked in his room come into mind. Your lips on his, bodies entwined as a bowl of mirthroot burns at the bedside table. 

“What? Don’t tell me you don’t do mirthroot anymore?” He asks, his grin growing wider. “What is it? Forgotten to have fun?”

Refusing to give him the satisfaction, you retort instead, “I haven’t.” 

“Prove it then,” he challenges, as he taps off some of the ash that has accumulated in the mouth of the pipe. 

You shouldn’t, really. But it’s been a shitty night, and an even shittier month. Mor was right. You’ve been running yourself ragged. And, in truth, you just needed a night where you could forget the rest of your life, even if it’s only temporary 

“Well,” you say as you take the pipe from him, “If anyone needs a bit more mirth in their life, it would be me.”

Cassian chuckles, “And me.” The two of you mime clinking glasses as a show of commiseration, before bursting into raucous laughter. 

You toy with the pipe for a few seconds, turning it over your fingers. It may have seemed like reluctance, but in reality, you were trying to remember the last time you allowed yourself to relax. You realize that it has been a very long while. With one deep breath, the earthy smoke fills your lungs, and you let it linger before you breathe it out. Not without being hit by a coughing fit though, much to Cassian’s amusement. 

“Don’t,” you warn him. 

And of course, he doesn’t heed you, and instead says, “You’re adorable.” 

Before you can say anything else, he takes the pipe and squeezes himself beside you onto the scant space left on the chaise. You let him. It is as though the two of you can’t help but gravitate towards each other, twin stars pulled together by the same cosmic force; even after everything, even after years of silence, of insurmountable distance.

The chaise makes an impressive effort to hold the both of you, and it takes some truly impressive maneuvering for the two of you to fit. He’s turned towards you while you lay half-sprawled across his chest, your leg thrown over his thighs to lock around his calf. His wing curls over you, encasing you within his warmth. Your hand is over his chest, and you can feel the steady rhythm of his heart echoing your own. It's comforting to know that, even after all that has happened, the two of you still fit together like long-lost pieces of a single puzzle.

“Here, let me,” he takes another hit, easily inhaling and exhaling the silvery smoke as if that alone is enough instruction. He hands it to you once more.

You give him a withering look, but take it from him anyway. Once more you try your best to take the smoke in, but it elicits another coughing fit when you breathe it out. 

“Mother’s tits,” you mutter between coughs. Meanwhile, Cassian looks far too delighted at watching your miserable attempts to get high. 

“Do you want me to help?” he cryptically proposes with a hopeful look on his face, and you see the question for what it is. “You can say no anytime,” he assures you. 

In lieu of an answer, you inch closer, your face angled to fit with his, and you wonder if this is how a sunflower feels when it turns to face the sun. He only gives you one of his unfairly dashing smiles, before he takes another long drag. But this time, he keeps it in, as he cups your face and presses his thumb down your lower lip to coax your mouth open for him.

“Like this,” he whispers, his lips a mere centimeter away from yours. You’re practically vibrating with want, counting the infinities between seconds before you can taste his lips again. The smoke escapes his lips in languid swirls as you pull him down by the nape into a kiss. 

Cassian smiles against your lips.

The world is gradually shifting around you, like tectonic plates converging to recreate the world anew. The both of you shudder at the contact. This isn’t a cataclysm, not a world-ending explosion, but a realization, an answer to an overdrawn question. Cassian kisses you like he’s got all the time in the world to spare. It’s a languid back and forth of shared breaths and the seamless glide of his chapped lips on yours.

The feel of him is familiar and foreign all at once. The taste of rum lingers on his tongue as he licks into your mouth, swallowing the moan that comes out of you unbidden. You don’t know how long you stay in that hazy bliss, reacquainting yourselves with each other, just breathing the other in. 

But when he pulls away, he tugs on your bottom lip as if to make a final point. And what a totally valid point it is. You are convinced - so convinced, in fact, that you decide you aren’t going to smack him over the head for ruining you completely. The smug smirk on his face, by all means, would normally piss you off, but you find yourself smiling back instead.

“Was that better?” He inquires, batting his doe eyes at you innocently like he hadn’t just obliterated all rational thought in your head with his touch alone. 

“I can’t tell…” you trail off in feigned consideration. “I think you’ll have to do it again, just to be sure.” 

His nose scrunches in the most adorable way as he scoffs. Nonetheless, he humors you, lifting the pipe to his lips and inhaling another long drag.

“This is purely for science,” you inform him, running your thumb tenderly over his cheekbone. 

He nods in mock seriousness, before adding, “An experiment of sorts.” 

“Exactly,” you agree, as you tug on the curls on the back of his head to pull him down for another kiss. 

Cassian offers to fly you home, and you accept despite the both of you knowing that you’re perfectly capable and sober enough to winnow back on your own. Cassian scoops you up in the cradle of his strong arms, and you can’t help but let out a small gasp as the massive shadow of his wings unfurl. With a few beats, you’re in the air, soaring high above the mountainside. You barely have the presence of mind to erect the barrier for the two of you to keep the cold at bay. 

The flight to your apartment takes longer than it should because Cassian can’t keep his damn hands to himself long enough to take seven consecutive wingbeats. You indulge him, of course. With your arms around his neck, his lips find yours time and time again. Below, Velaris is a spread of starlight, like a reflection of the night sky overhead. You’ve got no viable defense for your actions, only that you missed him immensely, and deep in your soul, you know you still want him. You’re afraid that you always will. 

But as you arrive at your apartment, the both of you walk up to the door. Cassian tells you he’ll see you tomorrow and moves to leave you with one final peck on the lips, but you maintain your firm grip on his collar.

“You’re leaving?” You ask, your brows scrunched and your mouth agape. 

He chuckles at your confusion, his lips once again to that signature crooked grin you adore far too much.

“Oh? Did you want me to stay?” he asks, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear with a painfully gentle touch.

You huff out an exasperated breath, giving him a pointed look. “Cassian, if I didn't, you wouldn't even be here,” you retort, trying to mask the warmth his gesture ignited. 

“Why?” He presses further. “What did you have in mind, pretty girl?” 

That truth is this: you don’t think you could bear parting with him again, not when you just got him back. You don’t think that losing Cassian is something your heart can survive twice. 

His hand makes a slow descent from the back of your head, to your cheekbone, then to your jaw before gently tipping your face up to meet his gaze. A shiver runs down your spin at the intensity of his gaze. 

Cassian languidly leads you against the wall, pressing his body against yours. You can feel the evidence of his want against you, while he begins to leave butterfly kisses on your neck.

“Hmm?” He urges again, in between kisses. “C’mon, tell me.” Then, he tugs on your lobe lightly, before whispering against your ear, “Tell me all the lovely thoughts running through your pretty little head.” 

A shuddering breath leaves your lips in response, your body reflexively arching into him. He slots his muscled thigh in between your legs while keeping a firm grip on your hips. Cassian, it seems, is as intent on keeping you as you are him. 

“Cassian,” you plead, “stay.” Your chest feels like a supernova on the verge of extinction. Fear and longing grip you in a hurricane of emotion, threatening to swallow you whole.

For a while, Cassian just watches you, completely laid bare for him, his to keep or his to break. 

“Cassian,” you repeat, the desperation in your tone palpable. 

He raises his hands in mock surrender once more, reminiscent of earlier that night, before saying, “Say please.” 

“I hate you,” you retort, but your body tells a different story. Without your approval, you realize your hands have slipped under his shirt, reflexively exploring the familiar terrain of his skin, while your lips press against the sensitive skin of his neck. 

Cassian sighs, melting beneath your touch, his playfulness giving way to a look of pure adoration. With an expression that leaves no room for doubt, he whispers, “Liar.” 

“Guilty,” you confess. 

He matches it with a confession of his own, “I love you.” Cassian's gaze is unbearably soft, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that makes your breath hitch. His voice is raw with sheer sincerity. "I've never forgotten you, never stopped thinking about you."

The weight of his words hangs in the air, and for a moment, the world pauses, forgets what it is to breathe. You search his face, seeing the truth reflected in forest eyes. A mixture of relief and joy washes over you, like a stream of cool water over scalded skin. Every moment you’ve shared, every glance, every touch, each joy and regret - has led to this moment.

You lean in closer, your forehead resting against his. "I love you too, Cassian,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “I never stopped.”  At that moment, you’re certain that The Cauldron had made a mistake because every part of you is perfectly aligned with his, fitting together in a way that no one else ever could.

“Stay,” you implore him once more, your voice soft but earnest.

“Only if you promise to go on a date with me,” he says against your lips. 

You blink blearily up at him, your mind still lost in the moment. “A date?” you ask, almost in wonder. There was a time when the two of you spent everyday together, back when you were in the purgatory between best friends and something more. But in retrospect, you’ve never gone on an actual date. Despite everything you’ve done so far, the thought of going out with Cassian is what sends your heart racing.

“Okay,” you finally agree, your voice barely above a whisper.

Cassian’s smile is radiant, a bright light in this wretched world. And for the first time in a long while, you look forward to the future. 

Author’s Note: Hello! I’m new to this fandom & I’m so down bad I started writing fics again. I’d love to hear your thoughts 💙

+ This was literally supposed to be just Cassian + shotgunning but now there's plot so here we are.

#my fic #cassian #cassian x reader #cassian x you #cassian fic #acotar fanfiction #acotar #acotar fanfic #acotar fic #a court of mist and fury #angst with a happy ending #cassian fanfic #cassian fluff

[andhumanslovedstories]

I’ve been struggling lately with the feeling that my job is pointless. Intellectually I know it is not—nursing is one of those professions where you get to be real smug about knowing the value of your work. But it’s still felt very pointless. Like I’ll start a shift thinking, “what am I even doing here,” and end it thinking, “what have I actually even done.” It’s been a ROUGH couple months.

But I had a really good shift last time I worked, which was good for the soul and also a very useful data point. I got to do pain management advocacy and symptom management, met a bunch of cool patients, did education for new nurses, and had several long heart to hearts, which the kind of midnight heart to hearts that I think are the most important part of night shift, all of that while being well staffed with very pleasant and appreciative patients and coworkers, and I was still like. Pretty depressed. I had a sense of satisfaction and moments of joy and meaning, but it turns out that one good shift did not cure the depression that has been latched on to me for the last few months like some kind of fucked up mental health leech. As I realized I was still depressed and that it was still interfering with my life even when everything was going well, the sense of peace washed over me was the best I’d felt in a while. Because I was like, okay! None of my usual stuff as worked! I have no excuse not to try something new to get my brain out of the shit ditch it’s slipped into.

So I’m applying for short-term disability. I’m worried I won’t get it, and I’m not sure what the next step is if I get rejected, but I feel so much better having decided to pursue it. It’s so much fuckin paperwork for sure, to a degree that’s overwhelming except that that the form could be a checkbox that says, “you want money?” and I’d be like “THIS IS TOO MUCH.” I’m totally not writing this post instead of finishing an email to my manager. I’m definitely not writing this post to avoid dealing with coordinating all my various care providers. I’m certainly not at every moment worried that I’m secretly faking all this so I can get three to nine weeks of a cool summer vacation.

I was thinking about how I almost flunked nursing school in my final semester because I turned in assignments late for a class with a “no late homework” policy. The professor said that this was reflective of real life, where if you miss deadlines you’re just fucked. I ended up appealing my grade and passing, because frankly it was a weak reason for making me repeat a final semester when there was no issues with my actual work or knowledge. During my appeal, I was like “I also think this policy is ableist. Harsh penalties for late work hurt students with health problems, especially chronic health problems when you aren’t asking for one week off due to the flu but instead for a general and never ending flexibility. I’m not trying to make an excuse but explain why this policy is a bad one. Disabled healthcare workers are an asset to healthcare.” I’m trying to remember my own argument as I pursue help. My depression and ADHD and eating disorder do help me be a better nurse, not because like depression gives you superpowers, but because I manage my chronic illnesses every day, in ways that range from hardly noticeable to life or death. Being kind to patients means being kind to myself, and vice versa.

I’m rambling. I really do not want to do this paperwork or send these emails. And I’m not sure if I deserve the leave I’m trying to take. But I miss being love with my job. I miss enjoying it. I wouldn’t judge someone else for going on medical leave, and my job doesn’t want me to burn out or quit. It almost feels like I have to be skeptical of applying for leave because no one else is. Everyone I’ve spoken to has been very supportive, including my manager. And considering how many unpaid days off I’ve had to take lately, disability leave would be an improvement over some of my recent paychecks. All in all, short-term disability makes sense and seems like a reasonable response to circumstances. But FUCK. I wish it required like 90 percent less documentation.

#nursing tag

[geekforhorror]

hiiii love ur writing sm !! i don’t have many specifics but i know i’d like to see corruption kink nd dacryphilia w/ jamie:)) thank u sm:) !!

thank you for the kind words anon! when i first saw this ask i actually moaned 😫

cherry pie

pairing: dbf!james kelly x fem!reader

warnings: SMUT (DNI IF YOU’RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT!), dom!james, sub!reader, unprotected p in v sex, degradation, dacryphilia, corruption kink, rough sex, possessiveness, jealousy, pet names, fluff, etc.

“You think you can just walk around outside flaunting what has always been mine, sweetheart?” James rasps into the shell of your ear as he fucks you raw. “You thought wrong.”

You had just flown home from college and decided to stop by your dad’s house. To your surprise, he had thrown you a welcome home party and invited your closest friends, some family, and most importantly: his best friend James.

Coincidentally, you just so happened to be wearing the skimpiest clothing imaginable. In front of James. As soon as the party officially started, you made your way around the house thanking everyone who had managed to show up. Everything was going well until you started conversing with your good family friend, Andrew. Unbeknownst to you, James had become furious once he saw the two of you exchanging harmless words to one another. He hated it and the rage in his eyes only confirmed it even more. You were his, even if the two of you weren’t a thing.

He decided to take matters into his own hands and stormed outside, intending to walk over to the two of you and stop anything else from happening between you and Andrew. Once he finally made his way over to you, he cleared his throat, which startled you.

“Hi James! It’s so nice to see you,” you said with an illuminating smile plastered on your face.

“Who’s this?” James asks with no hesitation, a look of disgust as he looks directly into Andrew’s eyes.

“James, this is Andrew. Andrew, this is James.” you say with an inviting voice.

“Nice to meet you man,” Andrew says to the man.

“Wish I could say the same. I need to talk to your friend alone, kid. Now beat it,” he says, not even trying to hide the harsh nature of his words.

“Whatever dude,” Andrew says before walking away to get a drink.

“What was that Jamie?! Andrew’s nice!” you ask in a scolding voice.

“He was getting a little too close to you for my liking,” James says coldly.

“You don’t get to decide who I can and can’t talk to! You don’t own me!” you say in a fit of anger.

“You can deny it all you want, but you know deep down that I do own you.”

And boy was he right. I mean how else would you have ended up being fucked on your bed?

“Such a fucking little brat, huh? Had to throw a damn temper tantrum at your own party, didn’t you? Whose idea do you think it was to have this party?” he grunts while plowing himself deeper into your aching hole.

“Fuck Jamie…” you cry out as you feel his fat cock stretch you out ever so deliciously.

“Poor baby…already so drunk on her daddy’s best friends cock,” he tuts in fake disapproval.

He had managed to make a girl like you lose composure with only a few thrusts. You would be lying if you said you never dreamed of this. Him doing this to you. He wanted to ruin you, so that no other man could have you.

“No boy can fulfill your deepest desires like I can. That’s why you need a man like me,” he says full of lust. “You belong to me.”

“Please…need more…” you plead, tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“Greedy girl, aren’t ya, darling?” he asks, already knowing the answer you would give him.

“Only for you,” you reply in a choked sob, tears finally streaming down your cheeks from how he was splitting you open. It was enough to have your toes curling and see stars.

“Lemme see those pretty tears, baby,” he says before bringing his tattooed hand to your face to wipe them even further down your cheeks. You feel his tight balls slap against the curve of your ass, which provides some much needed friction.

“James ‘m so close! Please let me cum…” you beg of him, too far gone to even paint a picture in your mind of how desperate you are in this moment.

“Promise me that you’re mine,” he demands of you.

“I’m fucking yours Jamie…all fucking yours!” you let out with raggedy moans as he stuffs you with even more of his dick.

“That’s what I like to hear. Now let go for me, m’kay sweetie? Prove that I made the right decision to let you cum,” he says in between his erratic movements, his words only spurring the two of you on. He finally hits that spot deep inside of you, enough for you to teeter over the edge and finally milk his cock with your sweet release.

James throws his head back at the feeling while still pile driving himself at an agonizing pace into your spent pussy. Before he knows it, his sticky ropes of seed spill into your walls, where it would stay for the rest of the night if it were up to him.

He finally pulls out and then positions himself so he’s laying directly next to your achy body. As the two of you catch your breath from your guys’ respective orgasms, he caresses your tresses.

“I love you,” he says, breaking the silence once and for all, causing you to look at him in shock.

“You love me?” you ask, wondering if you had heard him right.

“How could I not, baby?” he responds.

“I was just wondering because…I love you too Jamie.” you admit.

The look he gave you was one of awe and admiration. You felt so lucky to have a man who cared for you deeper than you could’ve ever imagined. Needless to say, he felt the same way.

“So where do we go from here?” he asks nervously with a chuckle.

“I may have an idea,” you say before pressing a gentle kiss to his soft lips.

tag list: @zapernz @mortalheartache @midnight-raine @camiemorgan8 @myheartwillgoon2022 @demieyesore

#james kelly smut #james kelly x reader #james kelly x you #hayden christensen #anakin skywalker #anakin smut #anakin skywalker smut #star wars #anakin imagine #anakin skywalker x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars fandom #anakin star wars #american heist #sam monroe smut

[suplicyy]

Hii!

Could you please write some hcs of Kenma, and Nishinoya plus maybe anyone else you want with a gf who's like a tiny bit younger than them, shorter and is like really clingy. She's like constantly texting them, and takes every chance she can to hug them or just talk to them and is there even at their practices.

Haikyuu boys w/ a clingy gf

— Summary: Relationship hcs about them having a clingy girlfriend.

— Characters: Nishinoya, Kenma

— Fluff

— Fem!Reader

You're only a year younger than him, so it wasn't so difficult to make friends with him!! Little by little you would meet each other by chance during breaks or during free time in class, and these moments made you get closer and closer, until you started dating.

But as time went by, you opened up to him more and had the courage to be who you really are, as he has always made it clear that he likes you for who you are. And after that, you felt more confident to be more loving with him: with lots of physical touches, words of affirmation and lots of quality time!

You love your boyfriend very much and want to show it in the most affectionate way possible!

Nishinoya

The way you met is always told as a story at family lunches. You were passing by the gym by chance, and a ball he received flew out of the place and ended up in your face. He apologized a million times and even offered to buy you a popsicle for a whole week.

But after that you understood each other and became friends, until you got to where you are now!

He simply LOVES you to be clingy with him, as he returns your affections with the same intensity as you. People on the outside assume you were meant for each other since your personalities match up so well.

Anywhere and anytime you are always together in some way, whether it's clasping hands, hugging, kissing; you are rarely separated from each other.

But unfortunately there are times when you aren't always together, after all you don't live in the same house and you have your own clubs to go to. So you guys are always messaging each other on your cell phone!

If someone doesn't ask him to stop using his cell phone to talk to you, he could easily spend the whole day just sending you silly audios of him singing a random song he heard somewhere.

Kenma

One day, you saw him playing one of your favorite games, so you started talking to him. And you spent a few days talking until you had the courage to ask for his phone number, which he gave you almost immediately (but he would never admit he was excited about it for you)

Kenma spoke more freely through messages than in person, so you almost always talked about various things: games you're playing at the moment, movies, series, about your day. And with that you ended up becoming closer, until you started dating.

You know that Kenma is someone who is quite shy, so at the beginning of the relationship you weren't so clingy in public with him. But when the two of you were alone, you loosened up a little and became much more affectionate.

At first he was always very shy when you initiated physical affection with him, but after a while he relaxed more and managed to adapt to your way of showing affection to him.

You would from time to time be seen literally clinging to each other, with him playing on his console and with his head resting on your shoulder, and you hugging him. As much as he doesn't like PDA that much, he finds your presence and your touches so comforting that he ends up giving in a little.

Kuroo once went to Kenma's house to get something he had left there the last time he went there, and when he entered he found him hugging you with his face buried in the crook of your neck. After some deadly glares from the boy, Kuroo promised he wouldn't tell anyone.

A/N — Tysm for your request!! I wish I had added more characters, but recently I've been very busy so I was afraid it would take too long for me to do this one.💔💔

I hope you enjoyed it!

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagines #hq #hq x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x female reader #haikyuu x fem!reader #haikyuu #nishinoya yuu x reader #nishinoya yuu #nishinoya fluff #kozume kenma x reader #kozume kenma #kenma fluff #hq kenma #hq nishinoya

[drdemonprince]

Anon who yearns after his boss here with a follow up.

First of all, thank you so much for taking the time and effort to form such a detailed reply and to include your followers, I really appreciate it!

I’d like to elaborate on what I meant when I said it would have no impact on my job. I do volunteer work, so I am not financially dependent on this job, and my boss unfortunately leaves the company in a month and I would probably wait until then to make any sort of move. So no matter how this plays out, it will pose no risk to my livelihood.

To answer your question, this is a pretty common dynamic for me. For some reason I have been in a lot of work/school/etc. settings where an attractive older man sees potential in me, I start working extra hard because of it and he starts giving me lots of attention and we fall into a really intense mentor/mentee relationship. This dynamic is so hot to me that I just end up in top of my class or employee of the month or whatever from being fueled by pure lust lol. Nothing compares. But I’ve never managed to take it to the next level because I either chicken out or play it too straight forward, which doesn't work like you said.

As for what you said about straight men looking for attention from queer men to fuel their ego, that is a very real possibility. He hides his insecurity well by being a jokester, but he's obviously a sensitive guy. It wouldn't surprise me if this is more about his ego than about attraction.

Him not viewing me as a guy is also a possibility, but I don't care too much. I get so horny that I lose any sense of self lol. He does treat me like a man though. I work at the furniture department of a second hand store and he never underestimates me to be able to lift something heavy or assemble something. He also compliments me all the time on getting stronger and handier, and all the progress I’m making.

Then on the other hand, he treats me with a certain gentleness and intimacy that I don't see him portray to my other male coworkers. We’re able to confide in eachother and get vulnerable. He tells me secrets no one else knows, like how he'll be leaving the company soon.

There's all these little moments throughout the day, like we'll be assembling a bed together and he jokes about how it has a certain eroticism to it, or how it turns him on when we work well together lol. When he sees me implement something he taught me, he's beaming at me with the biggest smile. We also have this running gag where I pretend to be his boss and tell him what to do, and he's always very obedient which is hot but also shows that he trusts me.

I love your idea about meeting up outside of work, because that's exactly what I was planning lol! He's really into photography and I asked him if he wanted to meet up sometime to show me the ropes, and he very enthusiastically agreed! So if I were to make any sort of move, it would be then.

Anyway, I’m really curious to see what you and your followers think now with all this extra information.

JESUS CHRIST ANON THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING

this is only a volunteer position?? he's leaving in a month?? he compliments you on getting stronger??? and says that assembling a bed together has a certain intimacy to it???

waht the fuck dog. my only concern now is that he's being weird and unprofessional af with volunteers. but no concern for you. you're clearly creaming your drawers for it. i say play ball.

you made this sound more forbidden than it actually was because that's exciting to you, you little minx. i see you. you've gotten us all involved in your erotic game, now you can go enjoy it.

let's re run the stats on this

[dragonfly0808]

Sky: The Thesis

This has been the most difficult thesis for me to write, I just don’t always know how to explain just what I wanted to do with Sky and I really hope I did manage to properly convey this here

So, here goes nothing, also, MAYOR SPOILERS FOR A WHOLE LOT OF PLOT POINTS, DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN’T READ AT UP TILL S4 CH 22 IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS FOR SKY’S CHARACTER

First Things First

From the very start I knew I wanted Sky to suffer. Just joking (kinda).

 I know that in the OG he could ocasionaly come across as insufferable and I really did not want that.

I chose to give Sky somewhat of a ‘sins of the father’ kinda narration. Sky bears the burden of his father’s crime. His main objective in life is to fix what his dad broke.

From a young age Sky realized that it would be up to him to save Eraklyon from his family line, a duty that he takes very seriously.

Sky has an absent mother and a father that never truly saw him, he saw the way his dad’s betrayl destroyed him and he is determined to never suffer the same fate.

Sky blames himself for pretty much everything in existence, a situation that is not helped either by the duty of acting as King since 15 and actually becoming King at 18 + all the stuff that has happened in the rewrite.

Sky’s main trait and his main objective revolve around redemption, at first, the redemption of his bloodline and of Eraklyon and, later on, his own redemption.

Tried to Bargain with the Stars for More Than Half Your Heart

Sky is stuck from a very young age in this in between place of being the son of destruction and the hope for redemption.

He is partially desperate to be seen as something more, as who he could have been if he’d been the son of anyone else, which is why, when he makes his first true friend (or more accurately his first friend with no royal ties), Brandon, he finds some solace

This is also part of the reason why the switcharoo happens. Yes, it happens mostly for safety reasons, but Sky does take the opportunity to know what it is like to be treated like anyone else

In S1 we see him with a lot of built up frustration over not being able to help his planet and being dismissed by his father, which eventually results in his falling out with Riven

Sky’s frustration is born from a helplessness, he’s not allowed to do anything for his planet nor for himself. The only way he’s told he can help his planet early on in the rewrite is by marrying Diaspro and giving up the chance to marry for love, which obviously causes a bit on anger and resentment which can explain (but not fully justify) some of his attitude in season 1

Sky wishes to be seen and loved for who he is and not ‘in spite’ of his family’s past crimes.

I Can Run But I Can’t Hide From my Family Line

Sky’s greatest fear is turning out like his father, being unable to escape the generational curse of cowardice and betrayl.

We see him at his lowest when Valtor curses him, causing him to undergo his greatest fear, being like his father.

Right before the curse, we see him prioritize Eraklyon and his friends, asking Diaspro to kill both him and his father to prevent any harm from being done if they are cursed, which Diaspro can’t go through with it

Sky has a love/hate relationship with his father, between everything that he did that Sky feels responsible for repairing and also the fact that, after betraying Domino, Erendor was never the same and simply not that great a father to Sky, he tried, but never enough

Sky desperately wants to see the man his father was before, the man who seemed so happy next to Orion and Radius in portraits and pictures, the man his generals have told stories about. But he never gets even a glimpse of who his dad was before, which just causes a bigger rift between the two

Erendor thinks there is nothing left for him, no redemption and no real hope for the future, he gives up, this in part, impacts Sky in the sense that, he is someone who will always cling on to the hope of redemption and who will never back down nor give up

Sky is absolutely determined to keep going, he’s not always sure how he’ll do it, but he knows what giving up does to a person and he doesn’t want that for himself.

Castles Crumbling (You Don’t Wanna Know me Now)

Season 4 Sky is in shambles but he will not let anyone see it.

As I’ve said before, Sky carries the weight of both things that he was responsible for and things that weren’t his fault with equal guilt

In S4, Sky struggles with the sense that he doesn’t deserve forgivness nor does he deserve help in his struggles or pain, his thought is ‘I caused them enough pain and troubles, I shouldn’t burden them with my pain’

Sky is low-key having a months long breakdown, no longer sure of who he is or who he will become, feeling partially isolated in the squad. Valtor took something from him, took his confidence that he would never be like his father, that he would never forget the mistakes of the past

Even if he was cursed and not fully in control, Sky doesn’t see it that way, he still sees everything he did while under the curse as his own failure and as a betrayl to both his friends and to himself since he’d always been adamant about promising himself to never be like his father

Everything that Sky truly has is himself. Eraklyon, the crown, all of that is an inheritance stained by his father’s past. The only thing to truly belong to himself is the determination to right past wrongs, and, by being forced into making choices more aligned with his father than with himself, it truly breaks a part of Sky

We’ll see in his arc in S4 that he is very haunted by the idea of his father and wondering what could have been if Erendor had been just a little bit different

I’m really excited to explore a bit more of his mentality and see how his view of himself slowly changes through the healing of a few of his relationships, specifically with Flora and Bloom

Sky embraces the weight of the crown and is, at his core a very selfless and guilt-ridden person. If he could have it his way, he’d study architecture and lead a quiet life, but he will never try to pursue that life until he feels he has achieved giving Eraklyon peace, and even then he’d probably still feel a sense of responsibility to stay on the throne to ensure peace remains

Thoughts Behind His Main Relationships

Brandon

Brandon is Sky’s very first non-royal friend, they meet at 13 and Sky feels like he can just breath around him, Brandon was the first person from Eraklyon Sky felt safe enough to let his guard down around and he really helped him in becoming a socially functioning person since up until then he really only knew how to interact at balls and formal events or with Stella

But Brandon doesn’t just give Sky a friend, but a whole family. Brandon has a huge heart and a big family, the second he realized that Sky’s family was not like his own, he made sure to integrate Sky into his family.

They see each other as siblings, Sky absolutely sees Brandon’s sisters as his own (especially Alexa) and Brandon’s parents are Sky’s parents. They give him a safe space and the kind of unconditional love Sky had never known

Brandon and Sky are both very dedicated and strong-willed, they push each other to be better and, one of Sky’s favorite things about Brandon is that he doesn’t care about Sky’s royal status, if Sky does something stupid, Brandon will let him know and will tease him

Their friendship is one of absolute trust and brotherhood. They see each other at their lowest and never think for even a second to leave each other

Sky is one of Brandon’s biggest supporter once he’s back in regaining movement in his hand and there is no one else he could even think of to be his right-hand man and be right there with him as he becomes King

And, while Brandon is partially impacted and saddened when he learns of Sky’s choices when cursed, he never doubts that it wasn’t technically Sky truly and knows he will forgive him, because that’s his brother.

They are brothers, they could destroy each other and they’d still love one another, they could end each other, they’d forgive one another. What other word could possibly describe their relationship?

Bloom

They are a friends to lovers situation. From the moment they meet they are quite soft with each other and I think it took them a second to develop a crush but it happened quite organically, nothing dramatic just being like ‘huh, everytime I see you I like you more and more and I’d like to get to know you even better’.

However, after Darkar and Valtor, their relationship is at a standstill. They both have too much on their minds and find themselves tortured by their own thoughts and weights far too heavy for their ages resting on their shoulders

I feel like Sky and Bloom’s relationship is a tragedy, but like, a tragedy because of the narration ya know? Like there are these two kids who for all intents and purposes would’ve known each other their whole lives if Domino hadn’t fallen. Who care about each other so much and just want to be there for each other but have also hurt each other (for Sky, it’s his bloodline that hurt Bloom, for Bloom, it’s the very loyalty that Sky loves that winds up hurting him when Bloom choses a side).

Their tragedy is one of; I love you so much but the universe keeps fucking us over and revealing things that make me wonder if we truly can love each other and be together without another wave of hurt falling upon us.

Their tragedy in s4 converts into one of; I love you but I don’t know if there is room in my mind for that love anymore. I love you but I’m not sure if I even know you anymore. I’ll always love you but I don’t know what to do with that love anymore.

Can two people grow apart and them grow closer once more? Can you forgive that it wasn’t you I hurt? Can you forgive the side I chose wasn’t yours? Can we be friends again? Can we try? Would you like to try?

Their love of each other is pure, it’s just a question of whether or not it can survive all the bullshit the universe keeps throwing at them.

Stella

Sky and Stella have known each other since birth. They’ve been best friends since they were less than two years old and have always had each other’s back.

One of the major changes I made to season 1 was having Stella know about the switcharoo between Sky and Brandon, mostly because, since she’s known Sky her whole life, they couldn’t really keep it a secret from her.

This formed a dynamic for the trio and made them the closest subunit in season 1 since they’ve known each other the longest.

Stella and Sky are two kids who bonded as kids but continued to deepen their bond as they both realized the weight on their shoulders due to being the future rulers of their respective planets.

These two are definetely siblings. They both had somewhat strict mothers so when together, they love to get to just be goofy teenagers. Their friendship is one of ‘We both have so much to do and a lot of weight on our shoulders but when we’re together we can let go and try to trip each other into a fountain for the fun of it and stick out our tongues just because we can and I know you’d never get mad at me over something like that. But you know that if you even need anything I will be right here and nothing will stop me from helping you.’

Stella utterly and fully believes in Sky, she sees right through him and is perhaps the only one who truly knows just how deeply Sky’s eternal guilt runs

Sky can see through Stella just the same, and for a long time, was the only one that was even aware of just how insecure Stella once was deep down

Who is Sky in this Rewrite?

Sky is a good man but a bad son.

Sky is a boy king bearing the weight of past crimes and sins and of his home planet on his shoulders.

He is a boy whose greatest fears came true and he cannot forgive himself for not being strong enough to prevent that from happening. To keep from betraying himself and everything he stands for.

Sky is someone who is ultimately selfless and with a well of guilt deep in his gut that sometimes won’t allow him to breath

Sky is someone who, in a short 3 years has kind of lost himself. He knows what he wishes his life were, he knows what his life must be, but he no longer knows quite who he is, if perhaps he was partially playing a role in fear of what would collapse if he were to stop

Sky is someone who is trying to not only be forgiven but also to forgive himself

Sky is someone determined to not repeat the mistakes of the past and someone determined to redeem his planet and himself

Sky is someone terrified of himself. Of who he could become if he were unable to run from his bloodline, if he is unable to keep himself from turning into his father

He is someone who feels like an outsider and an imposter within his own friend group. He was made into an outsider by circumstances out of his control but somehow, he is the one who keeps himself at the border, even when everyone else has begun to move on and forgive him

—————————

Masterlist

Sky Moodboard

Sky’s Instagram

Sky and Brandon Moodboard

Sky and Bloom Moodboard

Sky and Stella Moodboard

#winx club #winx rewrite #winx #winx headcannon #winx fanfic #winx headcanons #winx sky #winx bloom #winx stella #winx brandon #Winx rewrite #veiled wings and shattered panoramas

[marta-bee]

Rereading The Hobbit chapter "Roast Mutton," I'm struck by a) how funny it is, and b) how hard it would be to capture that humor in video form.

Bilbo and the dwarves are getting their first taste of camping which isn't really agreeing with them. It's raining and they can't even get a fire started. One of their ponies got spooked and ended up in the river, ruining most of their food stores. They're cold and generally miserable. And then they see a campfire through the trees and send Bilbo off to investigate.

Which is when things get really fun. And, in fairness, the fun goes on for quite a bit. I'm afraid I enjoyed this scene too much not to share it in all its glory; you can skip down to the row of asterisks below the cut if you don't need to read 2,000-ish words of Tolkien hamming it up.

So, naturally, he got right up to the fire - for fire it was - without disturbing anyone. And this is what he saw. Three very large persons sitting round a very large fire of beech-logs. They were toasting mutton on long spits of wood, and licking the gravy off their fingers. There was a fine toothsome smell. Also there was a barrel of good drink at hand, and they were drinking out of jugs. But they were trolls. Obviously trolls. Even Bilbo, in spite of his sheltered life, could see that from the great heavy faces of them, and heir size, and the shape of their legs, not to mention their language, which was not drawing-room fashion at all, at all.

"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrer," said one of the trolls.

"Never a blinking bit of manflesh have we had for long enough," said a second. "What the 'ell William was a-thinkin' of to bring us into these parts at all, beats me - and the drink runnin' short, what's more," he said jogging the elbow of William, who was taking a pull at his jug.

William choked. "Shut yer mouth!" he said as soon as he could. "Yer can't expect folk to stop here for ever just to be et by you and Bert. You've et a village and a half between yer, since we come down from the mountains. How much more d'yer want? And time's been up our way, when yer'd have said 'thank yer Bill' for a nice bit o' fat valley mutton like what this is." He took a long bite off a sheep's leg he was toasting, and wiped his lips on his sleeve.

Yes, I am afraid trolls do behave like that, even those with only one head each. After hearing all this Bilbo ought to have done something at once. Either he should have gone back quietly and warned his friends that there were three fair-sized trolls at hand in a nasty mood, quite likely to try toasted dwarf, or even pony, for a change; or else he should have done a bit of good quick burgling. A really first-class and legendary burglar would at this point have picked the trolls' pockets - it is nearly always worthwhile if you can manage it - pinched the very mutton off the spite, purloined the beer, and walked off without their noticing him. Others more practical but with less professional pride would perhaps have stuck a dagger into each of them before they observed it. Then the night could have been spent cheerily.

Bilbo knew it. He had read of a good many things he had never seen or done. He was very much alarmed, as well as disgusted; he wished himself a hundred miles away, and yet - and yet somehow he could not go straight back to Thorin and Company empty-handed.

So he stood and hesitated in the shadows. Of the various burglarious proceedings he had heard of picking the trolls' pockets seemed the least difficult, so at last he crept behind a tree just behind William.

Bert and Tom went off to the barrel. William was having another drink. Then Bilbo plucked up courage and put his little hand in William's enormous pocket. There was a purse in it, as big as a bag to Bilbo. "Ha!" thought him warming to his new work as he lifted it carefully out, "this is a beginning!"

It was! Trolls' purses are the mischief, and this was no exception. 'Ere, 'oo are you?" it squeaked, as it left the pocket; and William turned round at once and grabbed Bilbo by the neck, before he could duck behind the tree.

"Blimey, Bert, look what I've copped!" said William.

"What is it?" said the others coming up.

"Lumme, if I know! What are yer?"

"Bilbo Baggins, a burr-- a hobbit," said poor Bilbo, shaking all over, and wondering how to make owl-noises before they throttled him."

"A burrahobbit?" said they a bit startled. Trolls are slow in the uptake, and mighty suspicious about anything new to them.

"What's a burrahobbit got to do with my pocket, anyways?" said William.

"And can yer cook 'em?" said Tom.

"Yer can try," said Bert, picking up a skewer.

"He wouldn't make above a mouthful," said William, who had already had a fine supper, "not when he was skinned and boned."

"P'raps there are more like him round about, and we might make a pie," said Bert. "Here you, are there any more of your sort a-sneakin' in these here woods, yer nasty little rabbit," said he looking at the hobbit's furry feet and he picked him up by the toes and shook him.

"Yes, lots," said Bilbo, before he remembered not to give his friends away. "No, none at all, not one," he said immediately afterwards.

"What d'yer mean?" said Bert, holding him right away up, by the hair this time.

"What I say," said Bilbo gasping. "and please don't cook me, kind sirs! I am a good cook myself, and cook better than I cook, if you see what I mean. I'll cook beautifully for you, a perfectly beautiful breakfast for you, if only you won't have me for supper."

"Poor little blighter," said William. He had already had as much supper as he could hold; also he had had lots of beer. "Poor little blighter! Let him go!"

"Not till he says what he means by lots and none at all," said Bert. "I don't want to have me throat cut in me sleep. Hold his toes in the fire till he talks!"

"I won't have it," said William. "I caught him anyway."

"You're a fat fool, William," said Bert, "as I've said afore this evening."

"And you're a lout!"

"And I won't take that from you, Bill Huggins," says Bert, and puts his fist in William's eye.

Then there was a gorgeous row. Bilbo had just enough wits left, when Bert dropped him on the ground, to scramble out of the way of their feet, before they were fighting like dogs, and calling one another all sorts of perfectly true and applicable names in very loud voices. Soon they were locked in one another's arms and rolling nearly into the fire kicking and thumping, while Tom whacked at them both with a branch to bring them to their senses -and that of course only made them madder than ever. That would have been the time for Bilbo to have left. But his poor little feet had been very squashed in Bert's big paw; and he had no breath in his body, and his head was going round; so there he lay for a while panting, just outside the circle of firelight.

Right in the middle of the fight up came Balin. The dwarves had heard noises from a distance, and after waiting or some time for Bilbo to come back, or to hoot like an owl, they started off one by one to creep towards the light as quietly as they could. No sooner did Tom see Balin come into the light than he gave an awful howl. Trolls simply detest the very sight of dwarves (uncooked). Bert and Bill stopped fighting immediately, and "a sack, Tom, quick!" they said, before Balin, who was wondering where in all this commotion Bilbo was, knew what was happening, a sack was over his head and he was down.

"There's more to come yet," said Tom, "or I'm mighty mistook. Lots and none at all, it is," said he. "No burrahobbits, but lots of these here dwarves. That's about the shape of it!"

"I reckon you're right," said Bert, "and we'd best get out of the light."

And so they did. With sacks in their hands, that they used for carrying off mutton and other plunder, they waited in the shadows. As each dwarf came up and looked at the fire, and the spilled jugs, and the gnawed mutton, in surprise, pop! Went a nasty smelly sack over hi shead, and he was down. Soon Dwalin lay by Balin, and Fili and Kili together, and Dori and Nori and Ori all in a heap, and Oin and Gloin and Bifur and Bofur and Bombur piled uncomfortably near the fire.

"That'll teach 'em," said Tom; for Bifur and Bombur had given a lot of trouble, and fought like mad, as dwarves will when cornered.

Thorin came last - and he was not caught unawares. He came expecting mischief, and didn't need to see his friends' legs sticking out of sacks to tell him that things were not all well. He stood outside in the shadows some way off, and said: "What's all this trouble? Who has been knocking my people about?"

"It's trolls!" said Bilbo from behind a tree. They had forgotten all about him. "They're hiding in the bushes with sacks," said he.

"O! are they?" said Thorin, and he jumped forward to the fire, before they could leap on him. He caught up a big branch all on fire at one end; and Bert got that end in his eye before he could step aside. That put him out of the battle for a bit. Bilbo did his best. He caught hold of Tom's legs - as well as he could, it was thick as a young tree-trunk - but he was sent spinning into the top of some bushes, when Tom kicked the sparks up in Thorin's face.

Tom got the branch in his teeth for that, and lost one of the front ones. It made him howl, I can tell you. But just at that moment William came up behind and popped a sack right over Thorin's head and down to his toes. And so the fight ended. A nice pickle they were all in now: all neatly tied up in sacks, with three angry trolls (and two with burns and bashes to remember) sitting by them, arguing whether they should roast them slowly, or mince them fine and boil them, or just sit on them one by one and squash them into jelly: and Bilbo up in a bush, with his clothes and his skin torn, not daring to move for fear they should hear him.

It was just then that Gandalf came back. But no one saw him. The trolls had just decided to roast the dwarves now and eat them later – that was Bert's idea, and after a lot of argument they had all agreed to it.

"No good roasting 'em now, it'd take all night," said a voice. Bert thought it was William's.

"Don't start the argument all over again, Bill," he said, "or it will take all night."

"Who's a-arguing?" said William, who thought it was Bert that had spoken.

"You are," said Bert.

"You're a liar," said William; and so the argument beg all over again. In the end they decided to mince them fine and boil them. So they got a black pot, and they took out their knives.

"No good boiling 'em! We ain't got no water, and it's a long way to the well and all," said a voice. Bert and Wiliam thought it was Tom's.

"Shut up!" said they, "or we'll never have done. And yer can fetch the water yerself, if yer say any more."

"Shut up yerself!" said Tom, who thought it was William's voice. "Who's arguing but you. I'd like to know."

"You're a booby," said William.

"Booby yerself!" said Tom.

And so the argument begun all over again, and went on hotter than ever, until at last they decided to sit on the sacks one by one and squash them, and boil them next time.

"Who shall we sit on first?" said the voice.

"Better sit on the last fellow first," said Bert, whose eye had been damaged by Thorin. He thought Tom was talking.

"Don't talk to yerself!" said Tom. "But if you wants to sit on the last one, sit on him. Which is he?"

"The one with the yellow stockings," said Bert.

"Nonsense, the one with the grey stockings," said a voice like William's.

"I made sure it was yellow," said Bert.

"Yellow it was," said William.

"Then why did yer say it was grey for?" said Bert.

"I never did. Tom said it."

"That I never did!" said Tom. "It was you."

"Two to one, so shut yer mouth!" said Bert.

"Who are you a-talkin' to?" said William.

"Now stop it!" said Tom and Bert together. "That night's getting' on, and dawn comes early. Let's get on with it!"

"Dawn takes you all, and be stone to you!" said a voice that sounded like William's. But it wasn't. For just at that moment the light came over the hill, and there was a mighty twitter in the branches. William never spoke for he stood turned to stone as he stooped; and Bert and Tom were stuck like rocks as they looked at him. And there they stand to this day, all alone, unless the birds perch on them; for trolls, as you probably know, must be underground before dawn, or they go back to the stuff of the mountains they are made of, and never move again. That is what had happened to Bert and Tom and William.

**********

Peter Jackson gives us his own version

... but it's much more heroic. There's a bit of fun back and forth at the beginning, but there's no personified pocket giving Bilbo away, no bumbling fun of the dwarves turning up one by one and caught offguard. None of Gandalf's chuckle-worthy puppeteering. It actually works much better for th kind of story I think PJ's trying to tell, and I'm not criticizing him for it. Because the humor is so verbal, it's so tied in word-play, and I'm really struggling to imagine it translating well into a full visual storyteling. It's made to be read, or perhaps have it read to you, funny voices and all.

That said, if you've not read the books, I do believe you're missing out an Experience here. I'd forgotten how much I love this bit until I reread it myself.

*************

On a more serious note, I do love how seriously Tolkien takes the risk of provisions running short, accidents complicating things and all that. He survived the trench warfare of WWI, and one of the things that most fascinates me about that period was you were as likely to die from just the waste and utter stupidity of war as from a bullet or mustard-gas. It's fitting that the company's first real challenge isn't an orc army or spying crows out of Dunland carrying news back to Saruman; it was simply "mighty little left for supper, and less for breakfast."

I'm also struck by how the dwarves turn up one by one and in small groups in the book. There's a parallel there between their arrival at Bag End, and later at Beorn's house. I'm not entirely sure what it means, but it happens often enough it seems intentional.

And just because I can, have Jirt himself singing Sam's "Troll Song" from Lord of the Rings. Good morning!

#tolkien #the hobbit #lord of the rings #marta rereads #marta rereads the hobbit #marta blathers #Youtube

[blubushie]

tbh, as a woman who hangs out in communities where alot of middle aged men are guaranteed to gather around, you really hit the nail on the head. i've yet to find a tf2 fic that actually captures that male camaraderie that i've seen from the men around me.

Also, knowing this is the queer website and that much of the TF2 fandom is transmasc, I'm gonna address this so these kids can't go "I don't do that!! I'm a man!! I know what men act like because I-"

Men in queer spaces don't act the same way in the queer space as they do outside of it. I know I don't, cuz people get judgy. Queer community does not like men or masculinity. If you look too much like a man, or act too manly/boyish, or engage in male behaviours even with other men, they will look down on you. The only acceptable men are behaviorally effeminate, androgynous white twinks. If you divert from this in any way—too masculine, too POC, too physically male, too tall or fat or broad—they will treat you like a predator.

So a lot of these people, if they are interacting with men, are often interacting with other young transmascs who aren't socialised in male behaviour yet (usually online), or with men in queer spaces only—men who are masking. And they think men are just like this all the time.

And any man who doesn't play up the effeminate harmless uwu-shyboy persona is now scary or being toxically masculine because he's engaging in friendly ribbing with another man while being in a queer space.

I noticed it especially when me and an older bear went to a queer event (separately, we didn't come together) and he was practically ostracised because he's tall and bearded and bald and hairy and fat and very obviously male. And it turns out he was a trans man and he felt he didn't have a place in this event because everyone shunned him, or somehow managed to bring up toxic masculinity and how they don't feel safe with men in certain spaces, all in front of him while very obviously targeting him. The younger transmascs, of which there was quite a few, agreed with this. They ALSO didn't feel comfortable with him there because he was TOO male despite being just as queer as the rest of them (if not more—he was in his 50s and the oldest person there and had been out since his early 20s, so he defo had the most life experience of everyone there as far as the trans folk were concerned).

So naturally he and I hit it off. We separated off from the group, got drinks, and spent the afternoon in the corner, just us, discussing boats and fishing and lightly ribbing each other and laughing to ourselves while everyone else kept giving us glares and side-glances. Men are not welcome in queer spaces. Masculinity is not welcome in queer spaces. People treat ANY instance of masculinity as toxic. And so these young transmascs lost out on a perfect opportunity to see how men actually interact with each other, because the only other men they're actually interacting with are other trans men who don't know how men socialised as male act either.

It's kinda sad, in a way. Cuz they're gonna continue not knowing, and when the day comes they're gonna be blindsided and not know a fucken thing about how to be men in social environments because they don't wanna listen to or observe other men, not even the transmascs what came before them. Masculinity scary or some shit. And this is why it's SO IMPORTANT to have people outside of your familiar circle or your social group or your echo chamber as friends. It's why you should befriend your elders and learn from them, not shrink in fear cuz beards are scary or something. Not everyone can be a skinny white transmasc twink and not everyone WANTS to be. Masculinity is NOT a bad thing.

Anyway rant over. Point is these people don't know what male comraderie looks like cuz they don't actually put themselves out there to experience or observe it. Or even just engage in media where it's plainly showcased. 🤷‍♂️

#blu whos

[deoidesign]

.

#ok finally making a post about meds #I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without' #I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk. #can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset #so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but #it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways #so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone #like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work... #for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well! #it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus #my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night #sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired #it was more something that I just did because I had to. #but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end... #I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too. #but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted #but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk. #anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too #but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared #so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow #anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING #that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up #I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world #and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better. #but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on #and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much. #and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so... #I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better. #and I'm just crying because of all this combined. #I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I think it would be kinda funny if Roxy, with no attractions to run and not a lot else to do during the day, keeps getting really bored and showing up in the atrium with random shit that was discontinued years ago.

Like I dunno shows up driving a little train thing that used to drive people around all the different areas of the Plex or something and uses it to get people into areas they don't have a pass for as she runs over the staffbots that take your party passes. Starts her own robot wars thing on the main stage with a bunch of shitty remote controlled toys she found in the basement and taped a bunch of plastic cutlery to for weapons. Rallies a bunch of kids to call Freddy over and the second he pokes his head over the third floor balcony railing she fucking shoots him right in the face with a ball gun.

She does this kind of thing after hours too of course, but sometimes it's just a really slow day and she feels like the manager isn't mad at her enough yet lmao

#manager like: it's been a long week... #when it's only monday. #thing is she has literally nothing else to do #she's meant to entertain and she has no way of doing that other than arcade games and shit #which is bound to get boring eventually #hates golf so she's not playing that and she's banned from fazerblast #so either she goes and hangs out with the toddlers at the daycare (unlikely) watch a movie for the 800000th time in the theatre- #join Chica in her boring ass mazercise and fall over in a yoga class that's too slow for her #OR she can go bowling with Bonnie OR she can just piss the managers off and fuck off behind the scenes #just leaves to some abandoned area to entertain herself instead I guess #but like genuinely. she has so few choices and she's probably bored of all of them #why not spice it up with a remote control crab fight on the main stage? she's BORED!!! #she's got nothing better to do than hijack an old locomotive and start not-so-subtley sneaking people into places they didn't pay to go to! #some of these things don't even make her that much less bored but at least she's got something to do now! #might as well do it now she's got it right? management are gonna yell at her anyway! #choo choo motherfuckers Roxy just flattened a staffbot for shits and giggles! #quickly becoming the animatronic the kids think are so cool and amazing but are also too shy and nervous to approach #cause really who steals a fucking TRAIN?! #anyway. #roxanne wolf #fnaf security breach #WHY NOT PUT THIS IN THE MAIN TAGS ITS FUNNY #flys plex history #I guess? eh whatever close enough

[wild-at-mind]

Had a really stupid conversation via minor emotional breakdown with a queer friend about what makes an LGBTQ person 'assimilist'. From what she said I'm kind of forced to draw the conclusion 'if you say you're not assimilist, then you're not'.

#i love her but none of it makes any sense to me #i think i really just wanted her to see that this kind of rhetoric is no good if you're fundamentally unable to see yourself as having valu #to a community- which is where i'm still at sometimes unfortunately. #i would say that i may not be the only one since mental illness + self esteem issues + being lgbtq are not exactly unlinked #but i have basically never found anyone else who has my particular hangups...maybe online once ages ago #so in my own mind i'm the most assimilist lgbtq who ever existed- not even worthy to call myself queer #and it's nice that she thinks i am not like that and in fact am 'one of the good ones' #who is not assimilist- look i know that 'one of the good ones' usually means the opposite ok i know! it's just an impression i get #she's like telling me obviously i'm all good because i look like i do but all i can hear is #that if i didn't look like this then i'm an assimilist #i fucking hate my brain honestly no one asked me to have a mental breakdown at their house (thank god i didn't cry) #and then go home and that's when i cry because i saw a trans guy's 'this many years on t' post and i felt like shit because #i haven't done anything about transitioning in ages and i'm not even out at work :'( #like i know i'm an assimilist because my main reason for not coming out at work is not wanting to do the beaurocracy #of changing my name on my email and every fucking log in i have on everything- telling every single person i interact with #i just can't it's too much and my line manager is worse than useless #but i have 'my job is computer and doing emails all day' privilege so i don't like to talk to people about it

[misclogarts]

mfw i'm writing questionablepie +strawberry family fluff and bb drops more content for them (it's angst)

#itlogthoughts #inquirer are you okay... girl... say something.......... #ok i'd be pretty pissed too if the only place i could relax in was connected to that underground organization that's been a pain in my* ass #for like. a while (*and pretty much everyone else's...? or at least those from the council of magic) #what i wonder though is that considering cherry pie is there there must be other fruit witches (or at least. anyone with an “unimportant”- #-specialty) in their ranks. that being said if the other witch disappearances are also from the everlasting (ie spider witch; lily witch- #-heck even the lemon witch that cherry may or may not have cooked) why are they targeting civilians instead of like. idk their actual targe #i mean giving it more thought it's probably so they can collect power before attempting anything (which makes sense) on the council #but like... do they not feel bad. because they're essentially preying on witches who are already at a disadvantage to the system (which- #-would also technically work in their favor; the council doesn't value them so if they disappeared it would cause minimal issue) #i guess it's a “the end justifies the means” type scenario but i'd hope that if the everlasting does manage to usurp the council of witches #they wouldn't go hungry (ha-ha.) for power and abuse it in the same way they're doing #on a completely unrelated note of all of the people to take on the role of the head of the mind division ... why and how did they pick- #-memorial. i mean he could be qualified for the job or maybe well-loved but going from that one post bb made anything under their managemen #is a total mess in comparison to when philos was the head. that combined with the whole "can't get mad at what you can't remember thing... #i suspect foul play :/ #i wonder what button's speciality is because there's no way that they're just a random hire

[akkivee]

it is time. stage bat time 😌:

hirono ryouta

hirONO RYOUTA

HIRONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RYOUTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that’s it that’s the post lmao /j

i’ve btched plenty about kuukou’s writing in the stage but had hirono-san not been at the helm i highly doubt i would have cared for stage bat as much as i do lmao

i’ve fairly recently talked about how he defined the way kuukou moves in auxiliary media and how it brought to life how i envisioned he moved but it bears repeating hirono-san gave me everything and more lmao

like i still think about kuukou stalking up on some guy in track 3, twirling his mic and actually using it as a bludgeoning weapon with utter glee lol he’s so violent 💜

i love love love the feedback loop that quietly goes on behind the scenes with kuukou’s actors lmao

hirono-san mentioned in their cross talk that hayama-san’s 5th live performance was a frame of reference for the kuukou audition iirc, hayama-san a few years later during the 9th live imitated the way hirono-san used to bow as kuukou after nurusara’s division rep battle, and the bat actors took the bat seiyuu’s very cute 9th live blunder, missing their cue to introduce themselves in sync, and owned bat’s chaos by introducing themselves with their individual quirks in their rep live lol

lol during that cross talk, hirono-san mentioned he was endlessly amused by kuukou being tied up and angrily trying to talk in bat’s first drama track and i’m very happy he got to live it for himself after being tied up by dohifu in bat vs mtr lmao

still cracks me up dohifu had their very gay my home duet and kuukou literally went ‘REALLY???? IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?????’ lmao

i’ve been trying my hardest to talk around stage kuukou’s writing but personal bangers despite are!!!!!

him trying to fight jakurai and when the man passed out without kuukou even doing anything he went, ‘bruh🧍‍♂️’!!!!!!!! him getting in hifumi’s face after being called out for his shitty attitude!!!!! him playing the bad guy to bring hitoya and jakurai together!!!!!!

kuukou: *points* HITOYA!!!!!!

kuukou: *points again* JYOOSH!!!!!!

i wish i was normal about bat’s rep live lol like while we may suspect that performance was borne out of his looming graduation, hirono-san snapped off that last remaining chain of sanity and went crazy lol

i think about him butting heads and screaming at kenta-san, one of the ddb guys who is probably the only one who could match that energy lmao, the roaring growing in frequency until he held up his jacket, nagoya side out, and yelling, ‘NAGOYAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!’ until he blacked out on stage all the time 😭😭😭

other moments from the rep live i think about lol is that skit where hitoya totally scams kuukou and jyushi lmao but when hitoya told them the statue they ‘broke’ cost like 1000000¥ or some outrageous amount, kuukou started retching and that’s so relatable LOL

and that moment during the host club invasion where he walks in and goes ‘sup btches it’s been a while 😈’ and proceeds to destroy fragrance LOL

and him stuffing like four marshmallows at once in his mouth, expecting to be able to continue being able to speak lmao

and him going so hard his rings flew off and an unplanned mini encore happened as he tried to look for them LOL

saw a report that they were going stoopid one day during their rep live run the crowd was unwilling to let them go so hirono-san convinced the producers to let them do another encore on top of the several they already had 😭😭😭

and can you believe the hype never stopped even when bat wasn’t the focal point lol i heard that man at one point needed to be dragged off the stage during bop2023 bc he staunchly said they’d have to dim the lights on him for him to stop😭😭😭😭

there’s so so many bop2023 moments i think about like his redux rock paper scissors game, or him lifting up sasara only to drop him a second later lmao, him bullying stage posse LOL, the way they let him bring the hype whenever music lulled

and ofc the nb duet lol if the stage doesn’t want to do much by way of ichiro and kuukou’s relationship, thank fck hirono-san was there to carry lmao

crying over that one day when neither ichiro nor kuukou could catch their shared coke bottle to save their lives and kept laughing at each other while performing 😭😭😭😭😭

thank you hirono-san for establishing into stage canon kuukou dropped his bandana at ichiro’s feet after their breakup and that ichiro still has kuukou’s red bandana somewhere. it may not stick but that’s such an amazing take on that bandana’s whereabouts

daigo-san’s jyushi is so BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

THE top line i always think about is him joyfully walking into hitoya’s office in bat’s rep live and going, ‘hitoya-san!!!!! i’ve come to play!!!!! 😃😃😃’

previously that had been me crying anytime i thought about him skipping into hitoya’s office in track 3, cheerfully calling for him only to switch mid sentence into vkei mode once he noticed hitoya has guests lmao

his kuukou impersonation is legendary no joke lmao

AND SO IS ANY MOMENT WHERE HE PICKS KUUKOU UP LONG CAT STYLE SHOUT OUT TO BOP2023 SPECIFICALLY WHEN HE SWUNG HIM AROUND A LITTLE BIT TOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

that’s the second most bat moment i think about lol

i like how sometimes daigo-san’s default jyushi expression is the equivalent of this lol

another top moment i think about is him yelling how much he loves kuukou and hitoya during bop2023 😭😭😭

especially when you think about those early days of bat???? his first stage role ever was track 3 and he talked about learning the ropes from ruito-san, late night train rides with hirono-san after rehearsals and sharing his insecurities, bonding with them both despite the two of them being shy and UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

like I COULD CRY about daigo-san incessantly commenting under hirono-san’s posts after track 3 and finally hirono-san went, ‘bro what gives???’ and daigo-san went, ‘i’m trying to be your friend lol’ 😭😭😭😭😭😭

all that bonding culminated to a point daigo-san can make fun hirono-san in his most trying hours lol (he lost a lot of money gambling LOL)

forever haunted by him commenting he and sakakihara-san had an in depth conversation about jyushi after track 3 and we never had them in the same room 😭😭😭😭

i also think about this one report i read where hitoya and kuukou were beefing as they usually do so he sat himself aside and lol when kuukou asked him why’s he sitting over there he responded, ‘well i didn’t want to get in the way of your flirting 😒’ LOL

jyushi being hitoya’s (current) number one fanboy is my canon lol so i’m happy he got a whole solo about hitoya lol

another top moment i think about is jyushi dramatically crying he’s going to die alone in shinjuku because he got separated from kuukou lmao

will forever and always be bitter the mtc rep live with bat as guests wasn’t available for stream so we missed kuukou bullying samatoki by repeating everything he said, kuukou and jyushi getting chased around by juto and rio while samatoki and hitoya waffled (and samatoki oogled hitoya’s body lmao) and jyushi got arrested by juto so he started crying for kuukou who came out asking what was wrong as he piggybacked rio LOL

idk if you can tell but i like stage jyushi lol he’s very funny

both hirono-san and daigo-san are so down bad for ruito-san it’s so funny but i don’t blame them LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIM LOL

it’s so funny to see it bleed into their kuukou and jyushi like we ain’t ever getting over them essentially grinding up on him during one of bat’s songs in track 3 LOL

ruito-san is too peak for hitoya frfr lol ain’t no way we’ll get another hitoya who can do synchronised backflips with kuukou 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i almost forgot lol hirono-san commented that after track 3, he got stuck calling himself ‘sessou,’ kuukou’s personal pronoun lol, and similarly, ruito-san has a hard time not touching his chin like hitoya does LOL

stage hitoya is fascinating, simply bc of how much more adjusted he is than canon hitoya lol

like i cannot stress enough how the best morally grey hitoya was written when he scammed kuukou and jyushi into doing good deeds and favours for him lmao

since he’s so well adjusted, some of his and kuukou’s heart to heart changed in execution, but it was neat seeing him call out kuukou for assuming people can be effortlessly strong like him, and have that thought come back when he’s facing jakurai

idk if i have a preference between the stage vs canon on how they resolved hitoya’s and sensei’s relationship but i still think the stage absolutely cooked lol

will always be crying over kuukou’s jakurai impersonation lol and how he revealed it by teasing hitoya for having a date but kuukou apparently got the details wrong so he confidently corrected him that they had gone out for strawberry milkshakes

and fanboy jyushi fell to his knees crying how cute that was, he gets it LOL

there’s this motion stage hitoya does in his courtroom solo i think, where he stands with perfect posture and tilts his arms that makes him look like a scale ⚖️ and it’s so good lol symbolism in DANCING

so more on hirono-san and daigo-san loving ruito-san lol i always think about them gassing up the role he landed in a drag production 😭😭😭 hirono-san didn’t want to miss it and daigo-san eloquently used 🔥🔥🔥 in his hype, amongst other borderline thirst tweet shenanigans LOL

was that their last interview together……….???? but that video of them painting walls together where ruito spills paint all over hirono-san, daigo-san gently caresses paint onto ruito-san’s face, and hirono-san crushes daigo-san’s balls truly lives rent free i’m going to miss the three of them as bat so much 😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💔😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜😭💜

#vee queued to fill the void #BUT THERES STILL SO MUCH I WANT TO TALK ABOUT #KUUKOU AND JYUSHI PLAY CATCH WITH MARSHMALLOWS WITH THEIR MOUTHS #HITOYA (RUITO-SAN LOL) EXHAUSTED FROM THEIR REP LIVE RUN AND BEING PULLED AND GOADED BY HIS TEAM #DAIGO-SAN SHOWING OFF RUITO-SANS LIKE 1% BODY FAT ACHIEVEMENT WHILE HIRONO-SAN WAS ABSOLUTELY GOING BALLISTIC IN THE BG #THE THREE OF THEM PLAYING DARTS ON DAIGO-SANS WEB SHOW #THEY DIDNT DO IT TO EACH OTHER BUT HIRONO-SAN AND DAIGO-SAN GETTING THEIR NAILS DONE #I CAN KEEP GOING I DONT WANT THEM TO GO DONT TAKE THEIR BAT AWAY FROM ME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #i will say the new jyushi seems to have the vkei spirit bred within their very soul which is hype for him lol #what makes me nervous ig is the new kuukou based on the new encounter mv moves practically like hirono-san #technically that’s good lol i’ll appreciate visages of hirono-san as i sit thru kuukou’s stage interpretation lmao #but what else is he bringing to the table???? just that???? copycat hirono????? hm #i may not agree with management giving us cross talks before we’ve seen the actors do anything but it will help get a general vibe ig #(also here’s to hoping the vision with kuukou was long form character development rather than a more static character approach pls lol) #i also promise to learn their names by each cross talk lol i can’t continue being part of the problem lol #anyway i hope the length of this explains why it’s late lol

[starbuck]

i have so much love in my heart it’s unreal

#thank GOD i’m going to visit my family in a couple days - i need a BREAK it’s getting overwhelming #but also i love my coworker so much #in a platonic way - she’s like a little sister to me #she’s so motivated and she has SO much potential and i am so proud of her and excited to see her learn and grow #and i want to help in any way i can #i hype her up to my boss and our other coworkers and upper management whenever possible #because she deserves it and nobody else is gonna do it #my boss is nice enough - but she doesn’t talk us up much which is a shame #so it’s up to me to make sure my coworker is being appreciated properly #because she is doing a TON of good work and i need to make sure she knows how incredible that is #she is too hard on herself and needs to take more time for herself to rest because she doesn’t get nearly enough #me and our other coworker have made it our personal mission to ensure that she takes care of herself #and she’s actually doing meaningfully better since we took an interest and - again - i am SO proud of her #i’m currently trying to convince her not to take too much on this summer and i *THINK* it’s going well #ultimately she’s going to be limited by reality regardless #but it would be better for her to plan less rather than try to do everything and get burnt out #i think she thrives on intense pressure just like i do - but that’s also wildly unhealthy to endure for long stretches #so i’m gonna keep working at it

[writhe]

my whole body hurts SO BAD

#my back hurts pretty bad. i can tune it out a little but not ignore it. i think this is making the rest of my spine really tense? and #shoulders too? and i’ve also been getting headaches almost every day #im still a little sick but it’s probably just gonna linger until i can rest which can’t happen for a few more days (i say this like #every week though no?) #hands and wrists are like. bad worse than usual #like both numb and painful and it’s taking a lot more focus to do things nimbly or not stop stuff #*drop stuff #ankles have kinda been sore i think just from walking so much which is manageable #but it’s hard with everything else rn. also i think i kinda pulled something yesterday because i almost hit it onto the concrete while #almost BIT IT not hit #walking at night #felt like a pull? but it was painless but then i ran across the street and a numbness shot up my leg #and it’s a little tingly today #i think i need to build some more core strength honestly #and get enough sleep more than one night per week #also probably more stretches for hands and wrists #ideally i’d also love to not be enormously stressed but i do not see this happening! #im actually less stressed this week but i think the months and months if not years have done their damage #also getting beat up for fun. which i think is objectively funny to layer over all this but yknow. i think that detracts from my overall #stress & doesn’t contribute to bad exhausting pain #(-:<

[toytulini]

i made an oc thats at least nicknamed "Stupid" and im constantly thinking about what a power move that is tbh

#toy txt post #i miss it i should play w her more often but it was going to be for a dnd thing that ive all but abandonded bc i feel like #i cant. do that but it sucks bc i had some cool fun concepts and characters but it was hard enough back then when i was just insecure and #knew nothing about dnd and was intimidated by the mechanics but wanted to try dming for some reason but now i just straight up dont know #what to do but i really enjoy those characters. i should just unlock the secret channelsand scrap the dnd game idea for now and keep the #concepts and im sure i could come up w something if i ever actually learned anything about that shit #anyway. my point being. im obsessed w my character i made up and you should be too cos its good shit #toxic anarchist half dragon demigod with authority issues whos an alloaro clown named Stupid Cupid. #i think her pronouns were whatever but also it/she? when i say toxic i mean it did have a bit of a Clown Cult. #Cupid i think is possibly its given name and Stupid was her clown ass addition and yes i do know of the song and yes it is on its playlist #obsessed w all the stupid overpowered characters i made in that universe. they were such good concepts. gulliver obviously. charybdis #silas (cupids father + previous (now deceased) god of chaos) #cupids mother who i dont think i had a name for yet but she was supposed to be kind of a neutral lawful (in a rules lawyering way) #moon paladin who hatefucked the god of chaos after failing to kill him which she was trying to do out of devotion to the moon #and she supposed to have what i can only describe as chainsaw powers? and she destroyed every gun in existence and killed anyone who knew #how to make them until there were no guns left bc silas kept being annoying w guns and was trying to use them on the moon. for reasons #so she really pissed him off and impressed him before she finally got to him and tried to kill him. and if she was even a minor god instead #of a 'mortal' it wouldve worked and thats the only reason he didnt die from her. and then her child. stupid cupid the clown #grew up and had issues and started a clown cult and wandered around usurping warlords and dictators before putting her aim on silas #and trying to kill him. but failing not bc she was mortal but bc he outsmarted it. but he couldbt bring himself to kill it so he had her #put to sleep for a thousand yrs until someone else killed him(he pissed off a stupid seagull druid who lured him into the path of Charybdis #who he'd ALSO pissed off and Charybdis mega killed him and then the gull druid was made the new god of chaos just to have someone fill the #roll but then they kind of suck at it? they did not want that much responsibility altho the immortality is nice. when they took over they #released cupid whos a bit of a legend but then the vibes are super weird bc cupid Definitely wants to usurp and take on the mantle of #chaos deity and gulliver idolizes her but doesnt feel great about just handing that over to it? and cupid has to grapple with not being the #one to kill silas. almost everyone she knew is dead. her mom isnt. the world has changed a lot. she finds out her cult is still going and #gets excited? but they have Changed. it disgusts her now. they are not the radical clowns she intended. the vibes are weird. she denounces #that and tries out piracy. she manages to get the moon paladin living chainsaw power? #despite not being aligned w their ideology at all. wow nepotism. then it was going to spiral into some fucking meta galactic shit and have #well. ran out of tags. anyway i miss this character i should figure out what im doing w this universe cos theres no way im dming rn 🙃