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am-i-the-asshole-official · 5 months

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AITA for slapping my mother in law?

I (27F) am married to my husband Jay (26M) and we recently had our first child Lily.

Well the pregnancy was a very very difficult one. I was throwing up every day for over six months, suffered long bouts of insomnia, developed gestational diabetes, standing up too fast made me incredibly dizzy, my entire body just constantly hurt, Lily kicked me so hard I legit had tears in my eyes (which combined with full body pain was...not pleasant) and to top it all off Lily weighed ELEVEN pounds and I tore really really badly.

Yeah...ow.

I love my daughter to death but never again. Ever.

Anyways after that literal hell of a pregnancy, I've been more or less bedbound for several weeks now while healing from that entire ordeal. Which means Jay has been taking care of pretty much everything, keeping the house clean, making food, taking care of me and Lily, etc. Its a lot I know and I wish I could do more to help but Jay has been insisting that I rest and recover and that he's got this. He's been handling everything like an absolute champ. Honestly if I didnt have him I dont know how I would be doing anything.

Well this morning Jay's parents came to visit and meet their granddaughter. So I was moved to the living room so I could introduce them to Lily and socialize a bit while Jay cooked lunch.

Now Jay's parents are very traditional. They believe that men make the money and that its the woman's job to take care of the house, the cooking, and the children.

You can probably see where this is going.

I introduce Mother in law to Lily and we get to talking. (Father in law went outside to go smoke)

Thats when mother in law asks why Jay is cooking. More importantly why Im NOT cooking. I tell her I physically cant even stand UP without help so how am I supposed to cook.

She only scoffed saying that I was just making excuses. I am very used to her bullshit by now so I just roll my eyes.

Then Lily started crying because she needed a diaper change. Mother in law tells me to go change her diaper. Again I cant even stand up by myself, much less get up to change a diaper.

I call Jay and he happily comes to get our daughter. Mother in law starts yelling, telling Jay no that I should do it because its my job. She grabs Lily and shoves her back into my arms and tells me to get up and go do it.

Jay, my wonderful angel, tried to tell her that I physically couldnt move for weeks and to mind her own damn business.

She then started yelling even more saying that I was making my husband do my job for me, calling me lazy and a slut (What that has anything to do with this? I have no idea) she went off on a complete tangent about how it was a woman's job to take care of the home and the children, that SHE managed just fine and she had five small children, that I was completely emasculating Jay, that I was a disgrace, etc.

She just kept going and going while not letting me and Jay even get a word in. Until eventually she said that my daughter will probably grow up to be a whore like I am.

I think it was a mix of pure exhaustion and hormones because somehow I managed to stand up for a moment and slap her across the face before immediately falling back on the couch.

Jay looked shocked, Mother in law looked livid. (Father in law was just watching from the doorway, equally as shocked.)

Mother in law started full on screaming, calling me every single name in the book until father in law physically dragged her out of the house by her arm.

Now hours later my phone has been blowing up with messages from my brothers and sister in laws, telling me that I was an asshole and that I had no excuse for hitting their mother.

Hell even my friends think I was in the wrong for hitting her (completely ignoring how she was yelling, calling me horrible names, in front of a newborn baby no less.)

So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 month

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AITA for calling my friend s bad friend?

Basically, I cant stand people being late due to constantly being let down by family (like saying they would show up to my university graduation and then didn't, missing me win an award at an award dinner I was at but showing up in time for dessert, etc). I've been in therapy and am getting better.

I can handle 5-10 minutes of lateness. I can understand if there is an accident or traffic jam, just let me know!

But Jenny...

Jenny knows I have these issues, I had told her to her face about how I despise lateness and view it as someone not valuing my time or friendship, but I guess I didnt explicitly state SHE was doing that. However she was late two weeks ago by 30 minutes and told me "yeah I know you don't like it when im late" so she does know

Shes always late. Shes on time for work and her classes at university, but not for when we meet up. The first time she was 2 hours late, causing us to miss the show we were going to go see.

The other day, she was 3 hours late. She only lives 15 minutes from me and told me she had just made it home and was going to eat lunch then come to mine. When the first hour went by I texted. Then the second I did again. No response any time. It freaked me out because then I was panicked, like what if she got in an accident. 3 hours late she finally texts me saying "hey can we postpone until 6?" To which I told her we should just meet another time. If she had said she didn't want to meet up I would be fine with that, but don't leave the expectation that you are still coming.

So, today Jenny was supposed to meet so we could see a movie. We had to leave to get there in time. She didn't arrive at the time I told her, which was not the real time. 30 minutes go by I text her and she doesn't respond. I leave at the latest I could have and maybe sped a bit to get there in time. I watched the entire movie and she didn't text me until almost an hour after, by that point I was already home.

She got upset i watched the movie without her. I flat out said she was a bad friend for not texting saying she couldn't make the time, constantly making me worry when she doesn't show up on time, and even being aware that I dont like when people are late and choosing to do it anyways. She called me an asshole and said I was overreacting because of how my family treated me.

AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 11 months

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am I the asshole for not doing marching band when the show is counting on me?

this is really stupid high school drama, but I feel like a jerk about it so I'm seeing what the consensus is.

So basically, my school is pretty small, and our band is even smaller (about 20-30 people). Last year was my(16F) first year in band, and I only really did it because people pressured me into it. They wanted me to do it because I play accordion, and they thought that would add some wow factor to the show. I only had a couple accordion parts, and the rest of the time I was doing auxiliary percussion. Despite this though, it actually did work to add some interest. At competitions the judges always said that they really liked the accordion and wanted more of it in the show. That lead to that season being the first time in school history we had made it to finals.

During that time, I really only had one really good friend(16F). It was a pretty toxic friendship though. I was sort of codependent, and she was super selfish and manipulative. She would make up lies about my other friends and make me hate them, and then ditch me to hang out with them the next second. And she would just lie about super stupid stuff all the time, and when i brought it up to her she would just say "sorry you feel that way, i dont know what to do about it." And like she was very aware she was manipulative too. She straight up admitted to me multiple times that sometimes she lies to people just to see how they'll react or if they'll notice. This is all to say that we had a really nasty breakup. She ended up spreading a rumor to all of my friends that I told her to kill herself. And I just literally didn't. She completely made it up. So I spent like half the schoolyear thinking all of my friends hated me. Luckily, it turns out no one believed her anyways, since she kinda has a reputation as a liar, but the point still stands.

So obviously I absolutely despise her because of all of that. It's honestly probably an unhealthy feeling but I just hate her more than anything. Just thinking about her makes me want to explode. I stay up at night wishing she would just die sometimes.

And that makes me not want to do marching band this upcoming season. I just physically could not stand being around her that often (like 4 or 5 times a week for hours). Like I seriously think I would just spontaneously combust out of anger. And on top of that, she even got drum major, which means I'll have to stare at her during the whole show. So I decided that I'm just not going to do band.

This is where the me being an asshole part comes in. Since everyone loved the accordion last year, they actually wrote the whole show around it this year. I would be playing the whole time, and would be a prominent instrument. The show is also circus themed, so it makes a lot of sense to have an accordion there. And I have a lot of friends who want me to do it and who would miss me.

So basically, I just really feel bad that they went through the trouble of writing all this music for me just for me to back out last minute. but also, I just literally cannot physically handle being around that girl. I'm sure I'm atleast a little bit the asshole here, but I just wanna know if atleast some of my thought process was reasonable?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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